AES Ch4.1

Peaceful days continued. Lately, Sihyeon’s steps felt light no matter what he did. One day, when there was no filming for “Day Sin,” he went shopping with Jinoh. Jinoh, who started work later, woke up late, even for an office worker. Occasionally, he would wake up early, and on those days, he’d buy something to relieve stress.db4f55a5cd282528

Sihyeon took a taxi to a department store near Jinoh’s company. Today, Jinoh planned to buy cologne. He was always interested in a variety of things, and fragrances were no exception. Jinoh often bought Sihyeon things like cologne or body wash. Sihyeon didn’t know much about those things, so he just accepted whatever Jinoh gave him. Such gifts didn’t burden him since they would eventually be used up.114b55e6419a012c

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Some intellectual had said that the age of possession proving existence had arrived. But that didn’t apply to Sihyeon. Possession was worthless, and existence was meaningless. Life would be short, and having a lot of things would just result in a pile of byproducts.6bdb7fddde818a6c

Today, Jinoh was sampling 2e88f593d1 various scents, trying to 31c4e3bf0c find the one he 3a05437c4d wanted, while Sihyeon watched c34ae0365f blankly from the side.5da42e403ec4fb6a

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“How about this one?”123e2e482511f6bd

Sihyeon brought the scent strip Jinoh offered to his nose. “Good,” he replied. All colognes just smelled nice. If they smelled bad, they wouldn’t be sold in the first place. Wasn’t that obvious?6d99dbf893194c3d

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Jinoh, as if he hadn’t expected much from Sihyeon’s input anyway, laughed and put the scent strip down. Unlike Sihyeon, he had a clear preference and asked the salesperson various questions.06cd64f6fa16719b

A long 694dab7c56 time ago, 8d8b6f288e Jinoh had cdfa7fd3d6 told him ad443a6a4e he hoped 559fb1bb14 Sihyeon would 75b26f0996 find his 3f5e0c7493 own taste.0d036951940dcc48

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…Speaking of taste, there was a scent he’d liked recently. The scent that came from Seo Heetae. Was that cologne too? If it was, he was a little curious about what it was. Sihyeon approached a salesperson who had an “I know who you are” look.4d2c554aea90cae8

“Excuse me, do you have any strong scents?”3fc943bb87e56196

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“Are you looking for a men’s fragrance?”7abde2661f0a9220

“Uh… yes.”0d65d16d7712f9a1

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“Is there a particular scent you’re looking for?”1b0805d57efd85d5

There was, but he didn’t know how to describe it, so he was at a loss for words.554e9a9ecab85e5a

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The kind salesperson maintained a bright smile even in front of the inarticulate customer. They brought out a few popular colognes. He felt sorry for the salesperson, but none of them were quite right. In the end, after smelling more than ten different colognes, he found one that wasn’t exactly the same, but somewhat similar.a15d08cb1c86f825

On their 815cc2aec8 way out dfbcb9b19f after paying, fbcd3e1fbc Jinoh examined cc4d822fbf the cologne 9c36a94656 Sihyeon bought 7651591223 and asked,e5104894bdac7383

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“Do you like this one?”6e12fb1a630d5fe2

“Yes.”436aa2c1622c0ea7

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“That’s surprising.”3833d79e45ef6842

“…Does it not suit me?”a8c2615000d99545

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“Not perfectly, but if you like it, that’s all that matters.”ee51edd5abe44341

Then he added,f6f7e4167c73102b

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“Is something going on?”d54860a819b5667f

“No. Nothing’s going on, which is why I’m so happy.”68bf0919db7d40ad

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“Ah. You don’t usually buy things because you’re not materialistic. I thought there might be a change in your heart.”441f320c0db24164

It was 9af37f1b5d a little bc90f74e70 funny that c7c6a86f51 he suddenly a5487476e3 said such 43ca28d2ce a thing cb8955f7ce with a cb7d791d0e serious expression. Sihyeon smiled and said,47852ea89dc01485

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“Nothing like that.”06e9107642f05df0

“Then that’s good. Aren’t you going to try it on?”47f5f319d4e13e0b

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“I’ll try it later.”f9d4ec25095bad6b

He didn’t want to use it now; it felt precious. That was a first. He rarely had attachments to things.cf8b6f2c615b5b13

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✦✦✦42b944b9d49a86ec

At the beginning of December, the premiere of <Thirst> was just around the corner. There was a press conference before the first broadcast, so he was busy from the morning. On the way to the salon, his brother carefully asked in the car,64679fdc4ceb16e5

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“Are you doing okay these days?”53a69e1d3cb03a3c

“Yes, I’m fine.”c253dfdd6878b911

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“I’m a little worried because it’s almost January.”77fe25f3b60ba922

“Don’t worry too much. I’m doing really well these days.”3c7fff17bf18e589

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His brother was 0693e6c1de worried about the 609da7ed13 severe depression that da50fa0636 visited him periodically. But that 0d51b032a2 was a 17ee6a4b03 matter for 3acc00e949 the future. The thing he always 0c5a3c35f9 had to worry about 80ca33795d was the present. Today, there was c30f8edeab a different problem 75dd2c7468 at hand. His brother 74baa9d534 had a cbbec295ce long conversation 854285afdb with his d28baaa23a stylist, Miju, 032700ae8a today.93cefb663e7bc382

“Miju, we need to add a lot of height today.”c0003d425d193a2e

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“Why?”85c0115cf07b6415

“Seo Heetae is over 190cm tall in real life. I’m sure of it.”37a0eab289a4773d

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“So?”0b9c8aa699e5f666

“Well, on their profiles, there’s not much difference between him and our Sihyeon.”29de466b2e603839

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“What’s Seo Heetae’s listed height?”6b7f3e2c98a557ac

Miju asked af16bbd70a in surprise.9fad1c9c0b494765

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“187cm.”e6933eb8b953f023

“Wow, no way. He was just overwhelmingly tall. They reduced it too much.”66607b0f8fd4ce0f

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“I think there’s actually a difference of over 10cm.”894705a2a4b56d3a

His brother looked at Sihyeon, who had come out after having his makeup done, with worried eyes. The conversation between his brother and Miju was meaningful. Sihyeon recalled Seo Heetae. His tall stature, his well-built body, his soft lips when they kissed. He had kissed every inch of Sihyeon’s body and lifted him so easily. There certainly was a significant size difference… So that’s why he could lift him up so effortlessly.74968dd226361519

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He felt 8d41ccdd1b a little b32cdd8900 hot, so 35f0c298fa he fanned b3b24a2233 himself with 1e4f16f9fa his hand, b7bf34e4a9 and his 93a9bdda3e brother asked,7ca28cfc0d5168fa

“Sihyeon, are you hot?”00d6bb12ec5dca09

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“Ah, no.”be9098410c840115

“Let’s try these shoes on for a second.”996690df6b48c79e

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“Okay.”56166d8600242c86

From then on, he tried on various clothes and shoes, repeatedly putting them on and taking them off. When he came to his senses, he was already perfectly dressed and styled, arriving at the hotel where the press conference was being held. For some reason, his brother’s compliments about how handsome he looked today sounded believable.f3bc48bf47fa26ea

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Sihyeon usually thought he looked approachable, not necessarily handsome. Being told he was handsome didn’t usually affect him much, but… was he handsome today? He couldn’t help but think that. He looked at his reflection in the mirror in front of the elevator and touched his hair slightly.8e8c9de4008b36eb

“Oh no, don’t touch it after it’s all set!”00ce65b351ade80a

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His brother 0806a93576 sighed beside e38fdb3fca him.cfa4baa1d67de3b7

After being guided to the waiting room, he found Seo Heetae already there. Of course, Seo Heetae was the first thing he saw when the door opened. He was tall, and the suit he was wearing looked very good on him, so it couldn’t be helped. He approached Seo Heetae, who was standing and talking with his manager, and greeted him in a brighter voice than usual.17412c0541cfdb90

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“You look really handsome today.”a1768f53177cbb4a

“Thank you. Sihyeon, you…”10841907fb15dda7

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He looked edcdbb0616 down at 01446e52bb Sihyeon and 7004980ac4 paused. Sihyeon became c0f952d255 more curious feeb9ba029 about what c55f22a67f he was 1af8e68c96 going to bd83e5eab6 say, waiting d29dcf8566 for him 8bb1d8d0a2 to continue. Soon, Seo a9b7b368ff Heetae slightly 95f727d0cc lifted the 61f6d18b58 corners of 71990fb40e his lips 49e09aca58 and said,69cffb483834b9f6

“You’ve gotten taller.”98242c44418469ea

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…Was that it? He wished he’d said something else. Like how his hair looked good today. Or that he looked more handsome. He stared at him for no reason, but he didn’t know what kind of expression he was making. Seeing Seo Heetae smile playfully at him, it probably wasn’t a cool expression.db94d93f7dfab8f7

“I’m joking. I’m being mischievous. Are your injuries okay?”7dadd9e36c8a2f4c

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“Yes, they’re all healed.”ab3a99eb84b5875f

“I’m really okay,” he said, deliberately smiling wider. Seo Heetae seemed to be in a good mood today, so he didn’t want to show any displeasure in front of him. Seo Heetae looked him over and then suddenly chuckled.bf017b2d658f7105

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“I think your hair needs to be fixed again.”deedde525eb25d2a

“My hair?”10ff3ad0d5ae45b2

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Was it dd6ca108d8 because he 64a1c9898e touched it 01eabe249c earlier? As Sihyeon f59acfa897 unconsciously reached c2bfc4f6c7 for his c87d652526 hair, Seo f6843993e0 Heetae gently fede529979 caught his 443bfefba7 hand.907a0d7b491d564f

“Why are you touching 7e3394ad3c it without even looking 9320d6742f in the mirror?”4988789010263b5e

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“Oh…”c4b0bee382b72e33

“Wait a moment.”a655174de3d81fad

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Seo Heetae’s hand e8875a1fb1 softly brushed the 0b1a7ccc8f slightly disheveled hair d405be86f1 on Sihyeon’s forehead. The touch faaf023316 tickled, and e025fb91fe strangely, the 7fb7f16cf7 area around 9027f8f001 his heart 453aab7168 felt ticklish a06205f7f3 too. And… it 8c2663f94d was also d842edc2fb strange how cd066ffaa7 he felt 782e615e9d a sense dfd8384dec of emptiness fe2ee003bd when Seo c9587f9759 Heetae’s hand 9eeddc4a68 moved away.f86d2071de4bf56c

“That’s about right. Of course, it needs a7f0058fa7 a professional touch, but b7eb4217b8 this will do for be8153f1cc now.”9a1c55991b343c22

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Sihyeon had no intention ffb45fbdbe of going to the b7e85b8fb2 stylist right away, so 06f23d11f0 he thanked Seo Heetae, 7639fde5ca who was smiling dashingly. It was strange; 3924185f2d he wasn’t scared 1b2ed9351a of him anymore. He was also getting b744b50a08 more used to Seo 49d60c5fbe Heetae’s kindness towards his 3ea087eae3 junior. He was a580270d7d just thinking 2c644de229 that he 26b104213d hoped Seo 73cdff11e6 Heetae would c9c6a2ce83 continue to a073c0fa4e be kind a6cf73977f to him.9561aeaf2edbc35c

“What are you 1461dfc5cf talking about with 89edd775e1 Sihyeon?”d737ee2674f9657f

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Just then, a familiar voice caught his attention, and he turned to see Yeo Juhee entering the waiting room. Sihyeon greeted Yeo Juhee and glanced at Cheolju, his brother, who was standing a few steps away. Cheolju was sensitive about scandals and always kept an eye on Sihyeon when he was with a woman, and sure enough, he was diligently observing them now. However, contrary to Cheolju’s worries, Sihyeon didn’t think Yeo Juhee saw him romantically.f09813f71227a7bd

To be honest, Yeo ea23466d17 Juhee seemed more compatible 027c01b8cc with someone like Seo 2cbd8b5849 Heetae. They had a similar ea7ae56cb8 aura. Come to 9f0fd72a45 think of f2eb3d472c it, were e3019a18b8 they actually be76aad2e0 dating?90b5d8a1ef1091f5

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“Yeo Juhee, this ee5d74ca7d isn’t your waiting 173f99f19b room.”048227e7da335829

Seo Heetae said to Yeo Juhee. She replied, saying she was bored because her sister hadn’t arrived yet, and stood next to Sihyeon. Then she asked Seo Heetae an unexpected question.69e52619a713a71c

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“Don’t we look like 0a10cc8720 real siblings, Sihyeon and 7f90767aee I?”3da42fdabeb29262

“What are you e4ae73681d talking about all e66b7c0130 of a sudden?”3a40be350c789e1d

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“We’ve been 353df43aa8 together so 8c962fff39 often lately, 6c78c33b00 it feels d2034081e2 like I’ve b02a9bd606 become a 3cecb004b4 real older 8569bb953c sister… Don’t bedc6f2dec you think a53b7f6d42 so, Sihyeon?”85320c8e34088f82

“Yes.”a884f130f0aa72e3

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Jang Yijin, the character Yeo Juhee played, was Jang Yicheol’s older sister. And also his enemy. Jang Yicheol didn’t love Jang Yijin. Perhaps because of that, Sihyeon also didn’t like Jang Yijin when he was acting. He only felt comfortable with Yeo Juhee when he was Ryu Sihyeon. He’d never had a sibling, but it would certainly be nice to have such a pretty and kind older sister.da61498873a7898a

However, today, being next to Yeo Juhee was a little burdensome. If Yeo Juhee was really in that kind of relationship with Seo Heetae, wouldn’t he have done something wrong to Yeo Juhee? The thought crossed his mind. The two still seemed close. They denied it, but there were scandals. If those scandals were true… What if he had become Seo Heetae’s affair partner? Or was it just a casual relationship with Yeo Juhee, like what he had with Seo Heetae?c1c7f8dd85308f2e

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Suddenly confused, Sihyeon blinked cdc2ba8427 blankly. Seo Heetae simply smiled 663ad71e0f at Yeo Juhee’s odd e6766d2f43 remark.c97a73c372eec18a

“You two don’t look alike at all to be siblings. In the drama, you’re half-siblings, so it’s understandable that you don’t resemble each other.”e683f12427d334b0

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“Hmm, don’t 1c31512ba1 we look 0e06b8d791 a little c23d50391b alike?”fa13aa71b5cab2e3

Her tone was 6976f01b89 almost coercive. Seo Heetae 823de23c8c laughed as 3863bf96ce if he 71add8441d was dumbfounded ca5852061d and stared ef6a26f469 intently at 115abc2fbb Sihyeon. Sihyeon became e08357f599 tense as 94fba2d5ea he continued a7a779232a to stare 09e9f99fb9 without saying a1f39c102c a word. Just as Sihyeon managed c28a136da0 to take a deep 8b7e1814bc breath, his intense gaze 6252f1ee87 shifted away.5b6f29e7b4e28804

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“You’re both beautiful.”3dd699ac7418f855

“Oh my, 81cdf7dedb what’s with 1674c603f6 the cheesy 0fa22c1124 line?”539538594b37f551

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“Oh dear. Your threshold for 707f2c0ce6 cheesiness is too 36b927d312 low.”2eb0c7d1d841c513

Seo Heetae laughed e37d926e49 playfully and suddenly 7c1edd2ee6 changed the subject.348030f15c73cefd

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“Sihyeon said you resemble Scarlett O’Hara.”daf928773c59c5b3

“He did?”6321be69df2b7ef2

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Yeo Juhee smiled brightly 30652523f5 at Sihyeon, and Sihyeon 0881eea41f responded with an awkward 3a90aaf4b5 smile. Yeo Juhee, 547091e25b with a 8d8cd16e42 satisfied expression, bb35968698 asked Seo 390cb04bb4 Heetae,7534940c6db826ee

“You agree, right?”e630b10a6f8eb493

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“I hate to 92fc0d61db admit it, but 4ed9ead507 she does.”a36c0a51721902c1

The two c23ec89385 continued to dcf92f15e6 converse comfortably. Seo Heetae’s demeanor definitely 622f0c9012 changed subtly when talking 549221a614 with someone close to 55830497de him. Perhaps… it 45ec37561b was because afb9403bc6 the degree ddf9d9e6c8 of ‘affection’ bfb929c500 was different. Compared to 585117fc90 Yeo Juhee, 2f52148298 Ryu Sihyeon 5b15db5a99 was still 88e32f8a6e at a e2e16bb1d1 very low 38476df47f level.cd59792f918b97e7

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The press conference seemed to have gone smoothly. However, Sihyeon couldn’t concentrate properly because he was preoccupied with figuring out what kind of relationship Seo Heetae and Yeo Juhee had. Should he ask Seo Heetae? But Seo Heetae had a filming schedule and left right after the press conference. There was no time to feel disappointed.d0da63f9a3d9740e

Just then, Yeo Juhee invited Sihyeon to have dinner together. She said there was no better plan since there was some free time before filming the scenes with Jang Yicheol and Jang Yijin. Yeo Juhee even insisted on riding in the same car as Sihyeon, telling Cheolju she wanted to talk with him. Sihyeon had noticed it before, but she was someone who didn’t hide what she wanted.eefd96e249e01e12

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No one could win against Yeo Juhee, so he ended up riding in the van driven by Cheolju with her. Yeo Juhee seemed happy, saying she knew a good restaurant in Paju, as if she didn’t mind riding in an unfamiliar car. Sihyeon didn’t feel bad either. No, he was rather pleased to have a chance to talk with her. Although his purpose was clearly different from Yeo Juhee’s.a8edca2213212558

“Sunbae.”0bc0adaeb9e1ba27

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Sihyeon called c8192ad8e5 cautiously, and 698d6dd1de Yeo Juhee 89cfa5627d said with 1dbba767bd a smile,df8cae100f0c0273

“Isn’t it about time bcc9525445 you called me ‘noona’? It feels like we’ve aff24b8b2b known each other for d9f24af72e five years.”8353c74b150eed2d

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“Ah, Noona.”fa298f3fad0d73ee

He’d called her cdaf3781bc “Sunbae” for so 8501821576 long that it b866019975 felt like it 94651778ad would take a 51592628f5 while to get 0e45267371 used to it.a4d80f5eb8bd0204

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“Yes.”c0926007b37acc36

“Sen… Noona, do bacdb5d6de you have a eb68cc5c7c boyfriend?”4419d167eb28a4b3

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“Me? Didn’t I say I don’t?”ac29565dbcf2f5d3

“Then, you and Seo 0813e3d5b8 Heetae… Sunbae, are you b2bd528673 not in any kind 3d319d0473 of relationship?”fb81ed56ef162b7d

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“Seo Heetae?”859448da80329647

Yeo Juhee momentarily made 7f6ba9bc28 a disgusted face.85aa20184165fce8

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“You don’t believe 9a26f1b607 those articles, do 27d505d9ae you? Seo Heetae really 857518b481 hates it when b594e637cb I talk about 9195928e90 this.”89d3c22cfdf31535

Oh, right. Then he definitely couldn’t ask Seo Heetae.ff512c9bdee396f6

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“So, you’re not in 0f0afd6536 any kind of relationship?”7ed120cce312ce80

“We’re good fellow 31f6ae11d1 actors.”00c8fea6cbc0c622

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Yeo Juhee said with a smile. It was the wording anyone would use when denying dating rumors. He felt uneasy, but he couldn’t ask any further. If she said it wasn’t true, then it wasn’t, right?ca4273a9adfb94bb

“Sihyeon, there bd83bcbd83 are rumors 1ccbbb0e15 going around 84480d9281 the set 36caaa465c about you 6869a20823 and Haeun.”80a108f8ce025381

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Sihyeon was startled because he didn’t know about such rumors. Jin Haeun was just a friend he became close with during this filming. They had a lot of scenes together and were similar in age, so they became close easily; they were definitely not in that kind of relationship.dea1474f1758d76c

“We’re really not 1f7994fe49 like that.”50cc0d6a009f6f30

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“Alright. But if anything happens, 321c10bdf8 make sure to tell 334ad681f8 Noona, okay?”142b357d595e8db7

When Sihyeon replied yes, Yeo Juhee laughed heartily, saying there was no older sister like her. As she began to talk about the content of today’s shoot, she suddenly stopped. For a moment, a quiet Schubert sonata echoed in his ears.597f8f8ef3f8f6a6

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“Do you e2ae29826a like Schubert?”3c7aee0a07f86ff7

Yeo Juhee asked 784f6b5f25 abruptly, and Sihyeon be30de5708 asked back,ddd6732179e9499f

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“Do you 7e27d6aabc like him?”83f7b484ec3e7abd

“I don’t really like him. He’s difficult to play.”10e12e9b79f2f758

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“I’m so-so about him 053e7efd07 too.”e025215424943118

It was a habitual response, matching the other person’s preference, but Yeo Juhee asked another sudden question.fcf8cc01abd3c3c6

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“Then who 6d3c9c2ad7 do you 7956858ef5 like?”09ae02954f7befef

“Huh?”80a74d40235492a3

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“You must have f60dee7fa7 a favorite composer 8f40c8315a other than Schubert.”648e6860dc6d8cf0

“Uh… well…”1c5417465e6cc99a

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“Beethoven or Dvorak. Pick one.”c43039273b1faa92

“Um…”d0bf3c1e4d808289

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He had to pick one? Sihyeon had never experienced such a perplexing situation in his life. He didn’t know which to choose, but since Yeo Juhee was staring at him, he blurted out a name.23fa2e18e4d33ad2

“Beethoven…?”d01264dfccdd7fae

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“Beethoven and Tchaikovsky.”8302197713de267a

“Beethoven.”6ee5f89c524b4f33

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“Why? I like Tchaikovsky.”b18b239262183c29

Immediately, Yeo Juhee 31a19a5dbb started talking enthusiastically 855bc452df about why she 7564639456 liked Tchaikovsky and 99b57f7826 which pieces were fc1365bfde the best. Sihyeon listened blankly. It was a eeb115d2dd passionate outpouring of 82ebe938bc words, almost like 69c63b486a a lecture. …How could someone d5a696214b like something that 00172e03da much?dd4d98b8f9348d2b

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As he thought 0a659ce66a that, he made c024e1b662 eye contact with c4202d4e7c Yeo Juhee and db7a28b9c5 smiled awkwardly.82abd95336fbf1d4

“Why are you 50290febd9 looking at me b49d4a4d07 like that?”7641f441ad0c6c35

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“No, it’s just… 7de2d87e6c You seem to 0ba3a99ec9 really like him.”7629451f37afa8c2

“Why does that 72d4735b0e matter? What’s so difficult about 43f89e4af7 liking something?”08d2d82d7e785ced

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It was a lighthearted 22ad580970 remark accompanied by a 9ba1bfd2f6 bright smile. But coming from her f7460b3ce8 beautiful face and soft 09eb7f7573 voice, the word “like” e4e1d0705e didn’t seem so trivial.9266e4f9e20165c9

“Humans can’t bdde78f0ca help but 4c2ffe0121 like things bb9dad926b that make 67defc769c them happy. Because they value themselves.”1b007b7cf1b8faa0

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Yeo Juhee, smiling as she said this, seemed like someone who didn’t know failure or unhappiness. It seemed like God had prepared a happy ending just for her.bf4e1755733c08e1

Tchaikovsky must have made Yeo Juhee happy. But considering that Tchaikovsky himself suffered from depression, perhaps he didn’t like himself very much. It was truly ironic.aec235588a893758

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By the time filming ended, it was night. Unlike the morning, his mood was unsettled and ambiguous. Even though he’d had a delicious meal and finished filming smoothly, he felt this way. Sihyeon closed his eyes and listened to Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6 in the car on the way home. He kept thinking about Seo Heetae talking with Yeo Juhee, and it took him quite a while to fall asleep.2f4569c1f14c96b8

In his 5673e6f0d5 dream, Sihyeon 1cf705648d was wearing 35967de648 a school f1f0529182 uniform, sitting 8aa7263fec in the 92bbd18de7 corner of 4855ccf039 a dark fc32b54531 room. Huddled in the small db6c6f1d08 space between the bed db58f142a8 and the wall, he c7166d6789 stared at the tightly ea35c5f420 closed door. The Sihyeon 1291cae494 in the 12084fe4ec dream knew b3a36a6496 who was 16b1f42c1d outside. His uncle. He would be coming bd9b496c79 in soon. He was waiting for 010de889ed that terrifying moment.0f1eb879a7864ac8

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The door burst open. The light from the open door stretched to the end of the room and touched Sihyeon’s face. A giant figure stood silhouetted against the light.535abbd4ebc5271f

It was 82749f6da0 Seo Heetae. His silhouette 2138946722 looked like 2260c60aa7 a saint c61bcd8c07 against the 4eef6d54e4 backlight. In the 42468c0b9c dream, Sihyeon 05ca09d336 knew that fa9aa7b951 he had a2eefb3cbb killed his c8a816f30e uncle. There was blood on 32ed592185 his hands. They were 995bae243f the most 8988f89d54 sacred hands ec6f50979f in the d284a631bb world.3d92f00aa717dc8f

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Brahms’ Symphony No. 4, 2nd movement, flowed from somewhere, filling the room. It was the music of a victor. The kind of music that suited someone who had accomplished a great feat. Following the melody of the horn, Seo Heetae approached Sihyeon. Each of his steps sent shivers down his spine and made his heart race.17239c67691686ab

He lifted Sihyeon up. He smiled softly and kissed his forehead. It was so gentle that tears welled up in his eyes. He couldn’t understand why gentleness made him sad. Gentleness wasn’t created to make people sad.ce2d75deaff8966b

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He kissed Seo Heetae’s hand. The blood on his hand was sweeter than heaven. There was a hand embracing him. Sihyeon continued to cry in his large, warm embrace. He cried because he was still a high school student.e46578a36f37f1fa

“You endured well.”2d00c8ff0a862a09

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His voice blended 0d85692b94 with the beautiful 37d7b9bba6 music.ebbbc9d212f8e9ca

“You’ve worked hard.”6a6758cb14dd2e39

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He opened his 9a5445ba2c eyes to the 0f09315bcd sensation of someone 3b13787c9b shaking him. The same 303933ae6e music continued 998302642d to play 9191619b19 through his a37f606fc5 earphones. He could see 41caaded20 his brother’s lips f53341c0ab moving, saying something. He couldn’t hear 4799bec3fb what he was e0065e2f19 saying, but they dbfef523f5 must have arrived 8e8c8fdefd home. Even though it was b5cbced89b reality, a dreamlike, fantastical 6c4a704a4f atmosphere still lingered. The elaborately structured melody 6d681d2e86 filled his mind. He liked the f428093227 feeling and atmosphere c154d37962 of this moment, fa36af5667 and he felt e9eadf3411 like he could e6bea3d23b listen to this 9c7f33cfd7 piece forever. So he knew cae9dd6416 intuitively.fe662873dbe9f72c

He had just found a5d9878bc0 his favorite song.9d16617bb45c266b

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✦✦✦f7ffa3b47b4c0b28

When he arrived home, Sibelius’s symphony was playing on the speakers. As usual, he had left the playlist on random shuffle, and it didn’t usually matter what played. It was enough to just fill the house with music.578ece52d0a44fd7

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But today, Sihyeon, ee3be5e19b upon returning home, 4047ebf5e3 chose a song d932901094 himself for the 4ad9a7b2c1 first time. Brahms’ Symphony No. 4.7a8bfdcd610e8144

Sitting blankly b7d97dadef at the 22395f5286 dining table, abdee3d7e8 listening to 731d692d1d the music, 36cf05feb2 he felt e515b42426 a sense d702792f5f of emptiness. It was the 630d1268f9 same house as d1a1c790e0 always, and it 8921e7dfb8 had been a 7f5c308915 peaceful day with a6aa519ec0 nothing out of f03ac5cb48 the ordinary happening. Yet, he b3cd5fb467 seemed to 0e3ea08843 know what 67d0ba3c25 was missing. There was a reason 1acab80c28 for the tightness in 3d63cb881e his chest.a788d4a749c88cc3

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He wished 57ead760b5 Seo Heetae b374dc19ba was there. Like in 3aafb325e5 his dream.6c35491b8d10b994

Even as he cecabc2b2c lay in bed, e0ed7b604a trying to sleep, 3ee238290e the emptiness didn’t 1210b8ac44 fade. Sihyeon eventually took out 604fd89a20 the cologne he had 145d5d3a3b bought recently. He sprayed it deb92137f0 all over his 2b50d96c06 room, including his 850fda9586 bedding. The room 934e8f2b3c quickly filled 26a0a45e61 with a 4756536fde pleasant scent. It felt as afb75afb69 if Seo Heetae 1f0dbbcbc0 had just been b4b06b4b18 there.c258b6f13dc8122b

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He closed c0038bf796 his eyes c102cdd566 and focused 3e712a6df0 on the 7c4179839c scent. He imagined Seo Heetae eb113802e9 lying next to him. He wished 0c0a478983 he would 4ad977b723 touch his 129f001185 hair, kiss 8dd5095e96 him, and 463e819520 hold him. He wanted 1602ee0b3c his hands 507ba3f8a3 to touch 86c59ea7d8 him, his 28168b6d63 warmth to f637488236 reach him.d3d612e3a3805b2b

Why do people 8b0418fa05 discover unknown aspects 236f51f45f of themselves through f904aecf3d others?61d0abc9f8cc8bb9

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He never knew Ryu a49534fc50 Sihyeon was a person b0a487f535 who craved human warmth. He realized for f9c1b460e4 the first time 7179f71f64 that he liked c6bfd92c0d being treated kindly 83f883c33c and wanted to f28cd54039 be held. He was 3c8a589468 surprised to 9227e91c15 find out cbe24f4482 he was 9f0e8a4b51 someone capable 6391f2d7db of wanting 239284ed6f such things.be9321c4341f4b9c

Where did he touch 4482ea8b28 him? He tried to c420def1dc recall Seo Heetae d5f12a71b3 from that day. He had kissed d4e315c2ac him all over 56f36bd14c his face, his fb0e713293 shoulders, and his cffd326e99 hands. Just imagining be270751b9 him made eb981fc69e his body feec15760c feel hot.912a1f337a691a6e

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His hand 5cd42062dd instinctively moved c7ab02ccd6 to his 2726b6ccf8 chest. His nipples, which f1b817deaa had swelled from 6dbd66b699 Seo Heetae’s licking ec5d4bd555 and touching that fff37a39d5 day, had long f04d92befc since returned to 07512ab5b0 normal. Still, Sihyeon touched his 2364d1c52f nipples as Seo Heetae 58d6a7fc01 had done. He would 109b703460 never have a6e1912258 imagined doing 7ed2efae68 something like 0c74b7bdbe this before. His trembling fingertips 7811e27a28 lightly brushed against b165cc9cc5 his nipples. He rubbed bbd8affc31 them gently. There was 9854f8fd28 a slight d6c637e363 sensation. His toes curled a 8c13ccc3f6 little. But it wasn’t the c215e6e0d8 same feeling as when b3065da3b7 Seo Heetae had done f805f9a598 it.5c677b888bae9214

Soon, he felt 7d9a219101 a bit disappointed 72d79d5c9a and just lay 0ab52842c3 there blankly.f1e590350a7e29f5

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It wasn’t that he disliked sex. It had definitely felt good. He wanted to do it again. But that wasn’t why he was thinking about him. He liked that someone of such high status treated him kindly and considerately.de2d60a989419f09

A scene from the drama Seo Heetae had been in came to mind. A rainy night. He was kissing someone under the eaves. It was Ryu Sihyeon kissing Seo Heetae. Even in his imagination, their clasped hands were hot. Strangely, it wasn’t difficult to imagine such things anymore. Romantic and passionate things.ab953d9e7a947f14

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A gentle breeze 4f9c3e5eb3 seemed to blow 0b2e8d213d through a corner 6942375af1 of his heart 037336f897 that had felt e9f0e1ca6c empty. It was a small 1f7c166f92 breeze that tickled his 07cbf20667 heart just right.c62141cf6c69b1dc

✦✦✦64071ad45f75473c

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The filming, 3fc5081fe7 which started d83ed6be4b in the db1d52082b morning, involved fd7d75fd1f scenes with d213106ec9 Jang Yicheon 013667e71b and his bb523d06a0 right-hand man, f7fad1d49a Ha Jinyoung. Jin Haeun, 7ceee3535e who played 219da9b8ba Ha Jinyoung, f0b7a81546 always greeted 427df0b77f him first 7247925107 and approached e2a0b124ad him proactively, 7f3b4e7ed5 making it 7a879c38b3 easy to 0489c0dbe8 become friends.73dd64e1d8c4469a

Today, Haeun visited Sihyeon’s waiting room and insisted on reading lines together. The scene they were about to film was about Jin Hayeon, who was summoned by the prosecution, and Jang Yicheon fabricating an alibi and plotting to cover up what happened at the villa.c6a763770d22ebf3

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Jang Yicheon was 4e38e830fa in a crisis fc9f7d205d because of the d9ad5c0850 body found at 78faadbd85 his villa. He planned b2312fd951 to use 722a8b58fb this crisis 1d6c3ed7d0 as an 0cead44e92 opportunity to 581ed5e265 strike back. He intended 2ce5d73360 to sell 0ea4d1cdd6 information about 6cb2545cb3 his mother, 26a2ef5b0e Chairman Yoo’s 81d909094e slush funds d81f5805b7 and various 3f1791b6af wrongdoings to ef2e8cb2ab the prosecution.1760898201f0da08

“Forgiveness is f979c8cd5f something only f5765608f5 fools do.”ef7c97dd8c8a995b

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Sihyeon looked at 720348c22e Haeun sitting across ab6b5be955 from him and 2764b31670 continued reciting his e9fcdc07a7 lines.578414011b8e0c6b

“It’s always c1450bb40f those without 7ae6f08801 pride who a2cf5e75d6 spout nonsense 5f5a4c5540 about forgiveness 36caf47f5f and mercy.”7c91e003a4f8b5af

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“Do you have no 7ffbb1327a mercy for Jang Yijin ebdc6b91bc either? She likes you, at 0b2cade67e least.”b4fb24001d6c0203

Ha Jinyoung’s line. Jang Yicheon, played 14782bc54c by Sihyeon, replies 12391e7a92 with a bright d8f8e0bd2b smile.69dd406ddb0b440d

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“Jinyoung, being born f70da7a5f7 privileged is also 373d93b80f a sin. I hate people who 76d82eda8d are born with a 4ad594d66f lot.”81007b6529dce55e

Sihyeon liked Jang 51765b138f Yicheon. As filming 2cbd36d240 progressed, he 46f6188c51 came to e6ebadfd7f understand Jang bf79703114 Yicheon better 39afc0f3d7 and thought 8e51c4c488 he had def6ba8ccc a lot f14b37d4ee to learn 3b332dc294 from him. At least he was a941a6a1f4 clear about his intentions 3a18fa0b1a and was a person a0558aa2c8 who could avenge his 1789592109 grudges.64842ee1f302e356

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“This is difficult. Ha Jinyoung, whose desire for revenge wavers because he’s cornered, is difficult.”949eb6feab5c3949

Jin Haeun finished her lines and let out a small sigh. Sihyeon watched her diligently studying her script, more so than usual. His gaze then met his older brother’s across the room. Ever since rumors of Sihyeon and Jin Haeun being romantically involved began circulating, his brother had been keeping a close eye on them.ba845727863a8624

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His brother had said that if Sihyeon was going to date someone, it should be a good person. Jin Haeun, with her past dating rumors with various idols, didn’t meet his brother’s standards. His brother’s ideal type was someone innocent, kind, and without much dating experience. ‘That way I can relax,’ he’d claimed. And then he’d added jokingly,9a2a0f8b1bd8faf6

• ‘You said Yeo Juhee was your type. Let’s make Yeo Juhee the only exception after the drama ends.’

When did c3cd25870c I ever 0f817fb8e1 say that? Sihyeon pondered his brother’s ec42869929 words, trying to figure 68a23eda29 out what his type 5fe77cd6d0 even was, when Haeun 06c55dac25 called out to him, 4173738a4f “Sihyeon?”3fe616542252bf8d

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“Huh?”317efb3980d91cbd

“How do I 8fc91a91fd become a better 81ad3db7fa actor?”c11ed06308958481

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Just do it. Sihyeon wasn’t sure how to explain it.9f0ab9a08b967a8d

“Well… you’re 75387a94b3 already doing 5befb8db2e great.”7ac2424daf59876d

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“No, I’m not. Seo Heetae 0e4c966d78 Sunbae scolded b6fb6df839 me during 06318e55da filming yesterday.”44b30669974d4646

“Really?”46005b6e728bbe7d

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“I made a lot of mistakes. He said we couldn’t continue filming until I memorized all my lines!”157e1845e06c1116

Sihyeon could imagine the situation. He remembered the times he’d struggled with his lines. Wasn’t it a similar situation? Somehow, he ended up defending Seo Heetae.c9be39174c8e24ba

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“He can be 1779d525ce strict sometimes, but bbc1ed9676 he’s a really 11c24f9ac2 good person.”4521ba55af9282d7

“That’s true. He was cc5e5964e9 actually very 1897559056 encouraging later af8f1d6a72 on.”b554390c4ab3bf8c

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Oh… is that so? Had he 58087d1a47 become friendly 861b91362a with Haeun 3ccd15ea04 that quickly? Sihyeon didn’t think 169c4083ac so.85098d61642e77f2

His train d5151e2bef of thought 7804cc1598 was interrupted 4e45e42656 by Haeun.8dc6e53a0bf4add9

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“It’s so surreal. I’m actually your fan. I still can’t believe I’m here with you, talking like this.”0c6fb1601988bd0e

“My fan?”63d90a4bba95b71c

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“Yeah. I watched Hello, Rookie!, 2eefe545dd Fields of Freedom, of deb1f618be course, and even your ad59c8fcc4 web drama.”8949594004f96ee6

“Wow, even that… 01d9bf9b07 Thank you.”52260eb484a95ddb

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He was always e9b3d828fe grateful to those fbde47df5c who called themselves cc36ce4d47 his fans. They liked him so 3dd484e62e easily, based solely on 15e302758a his manufactured image. Was liking someone 98fc0108a2 really that easy?2eb56e66fbf9fe22

He considered himself 84e48aea02 a fan of a9b07fdf03 Seo Heetae. But it 4e834308c2 had taken 8d3a255384 him some 5cf041db0a time to 11f0cacd1b develop those 8af029d7b9 feelings, even efd67e87b1 after watching 9a84917374 so many b7a5f3b228 of his 5d5eb9049a works.cbb539ec3cd10a45

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“Why did you 46d901c7b9 become a fan?” 604b3cd4d4 Sihyeon asked Haeun, 7807787541 suddenly curious.489de76416ee56b3

“Well, you’re 689cf9896a handsome, you’re 3089cfa7c5 a good fbee36f5c9 actor, and 3a94fd89e8 you seem c7123c05de nice.”3741df1d4340911a

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That’s all it takes? Sihyeon’s face was painted with bewilderment, but Haeun, seemingly relieved after confessing, continued excitedly, “I became a fan when Hello, Rookie! aired. That was so much fun. I almost ripped out all the telephone poles in my neighborhood because of you while watching it.”d1836c54fb78baab

“Telephone poles? Why…?”3383ff6f50351939

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Sihyeon’s eyes widened at 7259ad7fef the unexpected expression. Why telephone poles? What did b49896afc5 that drama 92c337bfac have to 2ef852af2e do with ad20961e9b telephone poles? Wouldn’t ripping out 3589229422 telephone poles cut b208696f55 off the electricity, 7dbef80aa2 preventing her from f1ce7041d4 watching the drama?fad98b1741fd2805

“It’s just an expression… like I couldn’t contain my fan heart and I felt like I had to do something drastic…”ae813b3f44ffc9d9

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“Ah…”ac616969adea0723

He responded, 18a4f53b9e understanding the 893ec3f4c2 sentiment. He could relate, cb3bf5f527 but he doubted 6e947b4c78 he’d ever experience 9814bd476e such intense emotions. Unless, perhaps, he had 26f18bcf8e to play such a abbc133e9b role in the future.a8d0958c9d95b686

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He had already asked aa45fb1df1 many questions, but his 73a7b435c0 curiosity only grew. Sihyeon looked at a228a4c55b his fan sitting eda8f624b3 across from him. There was a 4dba0c6c06 question he wanted b42c355d5c to ask but 5123f2a1a3 couldn’t bring himself 78f227b592 to voice.af21231c8d012539

Do you ever wonder where I am and what I’m doing? Do you ever want to kiss me and think about me before you go to sleep?3dbe5ce934f064dc

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His feelings a2f2931464 for Seo 6befff427e Heetae felt 75027490ba different from 1237821b0d Yeo Juhee’s a2099b3503 love for 356538c011 Tchaikovsky or 7f6ce605c2 Haeun’s admiration bb3cb25779 for him. The concept 5e41bf44b4 of being e7cf76aed6 a ‘fan’ a321b64031 suddenly became 673b40de96 a great 04880f3646 mystery.40c90c99d5c6be8f

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An inevitable 203f5cdc3b drinking session 6422a07483 was planned 5bd2762d52 for the 0618eb75f4 night of 89ffbb5914 the 24th. Yoonhyung had suggested 8c71bab064 it earlier. Sihyeon never 7fb5b2c0cb refused a b2a13ecab3 drink, and b6719e772b his friend 59846c702a seemed troubled, 1a3ce83dc8 so a 42d4541694 place to 60b816bc34 sit and 7d1a260330 drink was f89e39a7ec definitely needed. Sihyeon’s apartment quickly became cc3623ccdd the designated location.a4e5db81b517e29f

So, on the 24th, Sihyeon woke up early and did some light cleaning. As always, there wasn’t much to tidy up. The only difference was the lingering scent of cologne in his room. He sprayed it regularly, so a faint fragrance always remained. It made him think of Seo Heetae.2f4ed494112d5086

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He remembered Seo Heetae talking on the phone in front of the wine bar. He’d said, “Let’s meet on Christmas Eve,” but who was he talking to?12be1f2830302a5c

Was he meeting Yeo Juhee? But Yeo Juhee had filming scheduled all day. Then it couldn’t be Yeo Juhee… Could it be someone else? Would he casually have sex with someone else? Did he have a secret girlfriend?1ef37169505fc39e

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He had a lot cbf0ecb0c2 of questions, but it 9d5edde3a3 felt strange to contact f967cbe1a6 Seo Heetae and ask. Throughout the day on d2220f5582 set, he’d been busy 83b47cfe92 speculating about who Seo d4ba7ebd9b Heetae was meeting and 78bf60cea2 what he was doing.8898e60c4846d599

By the 3ff3b9da9d time he 8c421f8a9f finished work bcceca16a8 and arrived e0a7ed1d9a home, it 6b53fe013c was evening. Jinoh and Yoonhyung ac182e460a were already watching a7e504ff49 a movie and f46b598854 drinking. When Sihyeon approached, 4248d9c916 Yoonhyung asked, “Should 332853b73f we turn it fc862ebe22 off?” but Sihyeon a332292b3e shook his head. It was 25a4411465 fine to b9f025dbcf keep watching. He’d enjoyed a 6aab1755b2 classic movie recently, 35a9df105f the one he 68c497d7d2 watched in Seo dfaee30642 Heetae’s car.0542832f7181fedf

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He’d joined the movie midway, but Jinoh explained the plot. It was about Maggie, an aspiring boxer, and her coach. The coach initially didn’t want to train Maggie. But eventually, they form a special bond, and Maggie becomes a winning boxer. However, one day, Maggie suffers a severe injury during a match, leaving her paralyzed. A boxer can’t exist confined to a bed. The protagonist effectively lost her life in that single match.9aeb1188c2a5646a

Having lost 47cf2d2e4f her purpose, 5267c64bea Maggie asks 9723a5b4ac her coach f3b3c23117 for a 62a82fb199 favor: Let c2b30e6af1 me die.024cee5841f36ac3

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Although not e60a312e73 explicitly stated, 684b608b7e Sihyeon understood 16fbf057d0 the meaning. In short, 7ab3118d5c she was 61bf4a72f5 asking him 35258682fe to kill fa57ca32e0 her.948ddf942511e6fe

He missed the coach’s decision while he was showering, but he heard his friends’ reactions. They both said they couldn’t kill a loved one with their own hands if they were in that situation.65f57d4975f7affb

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“What do fc2cee2aa4 you think 3f6f86504f you would 904b958bac have done?” 1a8fc767dc Jinoh asked 0334faa30d as Sihyeon 934fadf524 opened a f010947179 cold beer 47ff83d394 can. He thought for a c41ba457be moment and answered briefly,fce5575b4905728c

“I don’t know. Sometimes death is preferable.”3acb3110c3cae0d2

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It seemed complicated, but it wasn’t a difficult question when he thought about it. Jinoh gave a subtle smile at Sihyeon’s answer and changed the subject to the wine he’d brought. He’d brought a bottle because Sihyeon had asked him about good wines yesterday. He poured a glass for each of his friends.25f80e990db80699

“Why the sudden ec0debb43d interest in wine?”d80d88fa4d64ab96

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“Just… I’ve 1697a64672 been trying 08beb8dd62 some lately, 7f78c4d0db and I 8a7be71a6d think it aa35e49609 tastes good.”4a49488685bcad1d

Jinoh poured a 4333b6ed5a glass for Yoonhyung e612cea571 as well. Yoonhyung took a 7e95fe2b9d sip, a thoughtful 5aa34e1afc expression on his 0fdb3182f4 face. He seemed more sensitive 35e6f31591 and down than usual 5ec06cbc30 these days.a17d1e3e01b2a8f9

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Jinoh attributed 274a55fe22 Yoonhyung’s mood 2cb96be586 to ‘that 18f97e7cb4 person.’ ‘That 88c398847d person’ was 813a9e55f5 the woman 54740ca9ec Yoonhyung was 65e032febc infatuated with, 964eb18b16 and Sihyeon 2c7d723940 agreed with a8df7b1b08 Jinoh’s assessment. He’d known ac2b23ac84 Yoonhyung for cad6a8a69d a long d400d70395 time, but f188fcd4b5 he’d never dfc581b428 seen him 08992a611a so preoccupied. It made him 8963610921 resentful of ‘that e5ab30feba person,’ even though 6df5145078 he didn’t even 0f843b1e62 know her face.9f359117eba0aa38

Why wouldn’t she accept Yoonhyung? He was a really good guy. Sihyeon wasn’t usually interested in other people’s relationships or love lives, but perhaps because it was his friend, he was particularly concerned. It felt strangely personal. Sihyeon cautiously asked Yoonhyung,8d443a32d9cd4476

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“Does she know you ed6496852a like her?”ecbc5c0cea8816e4

“There’s no f8e04eb7d1 way she db605a4283 doesn’t.”2c2ac69c7bb6ab56

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“That’s so unfair. Why is she 355ea732f7 being so cruel 57c09f3542 when she knows?”9008f4b9876a49ea

He suddenly felt indignant ff6a333a1e on Yoonhyung’s behalf. Why wouldn’t she like ae7c32a09b him back? Why?941c86ff5817fc70

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Seeing Sihyeon’s sullen face, 6fd73d51bc Yoonhyung burst out laughing.3c796de24ae88488

“Since when do ae004aa06e you take love e0a39bdac7 stories so seriously? You usually just 1a6a882c7e half-listen.”b077b636d1e57633

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“That’s true,” Jinoh said, then asked Yoonhyung, “So what’s the problem this time?”223ad9b054e021a4

Yoonhyung ran a 1a4f777a15 hand through his 439e788ade hair and frowned. He seemed 707a5a6cf2 to be 967aa53b34 thinking hard, ae9fa35dd0 but ultimately, dcae2b7a30 a familiar 11caaf51f5 sentiment escaped c0769061c6 his lips.32cf96e63f6aa9c6

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“It’s not 0b9da2ab2c just this 188d54bf66 time. She always acts confusingly.”ab13594dafc7afa8

“Then you act confusingly 8e42bb580a too.”bca674a2fc373506

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“What if it goes 5c9149757e wrong?”7ce13ce5f5e660e4

“Then it wasn’t ddbb336c8a meant to be.”1e5ae04a172367ff

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“Wow, this 28ca469946 is hard.”87bec1c2aeb409d2

Yoonhyung grumbled irritably, and d248034175 Jinoh gave a short c9307c74b5 laugh. “It’s not easy,” he 1d5428c640 said, refilling Sihyeon’s empty a5ca39ee77 glass with wine.99f6ae59195db263

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“That’s why Sihyeon 34d5ad49c0 should definitely date 860903b8d2 someone easygoing.”ed7f7103b6e1097b

His friend knew Sihyeon wasn’t interested in dating or marriage, but he often said things like this. Maybe he believed that if he said it enough, it would eventually come true. Of course, he never pressured Sihyeon, as if he didn’t have high hopes, and Sihyeon also believed he couldn’t fulfill his friend’s wish. Still, he always gave an appropriate response whenever this topic came up.99a4d2f3ea4d98b4

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“Yeah.”590d22c0a6e46393

He’d responded as usual, but… the person he was thinking about was anything but easygoing. Just then, Brahms’ Symphony No. 4, playing in the background, sounded particularly clear.934ec1b520e97ddd

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No matter how much he drank, talked with his friends, or watched movies, his thoughts always returned to him. Seo Heetae’s large hand stroking his hair, his lips against his skin, his voice in his ear explaining the movie. Recalling these moments made him feel good. Perhaps it was because he’d worked hard to earn those moments… or maybe it was simply because he liked Seo Heetae. Seo Heetae was still a complex person, but Sihyeon knew he was a wonderful and good man. Everyone liked him, so it wasn’t strange that Sihyeon liked him too, right?c9152687a5d436ab

However, this 1609d327c8 kind of c1537a049a liking was db889b1dc9 different from 0907482993 liking his 0d93e921e5 parents, siblings, 8e61197a41 friends, or a09abe10db celebrities. No matter how b62680eb05 much he thought cf3187b1f4 about it, it aeceb212d0 felt different. So how much df20509d60 did he like 8b2fdd383a him?7a8b3ab8390bc010

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For starters, he 8a719a8b74 missed him. His feelings for e0e8ddd161 Seo Heetae were 161d89475c quite straightforward and a907a3ebe5 easily definable. Compared to the 01da20bdc1 past… it was 548d0268d5 definitely different from e739ef9b0b when he liked 9b89f468e3 Chae Eunseo.11703b1c08b44434

Defining his feelings for fad9a0f8ed Chae Eunseo was difficult. He was his d3f066c4ae accomplice in getting fabb74f519 rid of Ryu 353aaa0815 Seongwoo, he’d eventually 8f86bfc147 left him, used fcbce48df1 him, and didn’t 7269a7d6fe love him. But ultimately, Sihyeon had f86896d1f2 gained a lot thanks effe04b613 to Chae Eunseo. He’d liked 1a056404e3 him, feared 41e13557ae him, and b7d5606a1c been grateful a72ce832fd to him. When he was younger, b942d021b6 he’d clung to him 239d126043 with those complicated feelings.f3cb419406ea9672

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But now, he 2bb6ec0a1e was comfortable leaving fa5c1d31ab those complex emotions 7e5ccdaa95 unanalyzed. They only caused headaches aad4fc5dd3 and overthinking.4a0a0a4eee27763e

On the other 19a7f313e6 hand, liking Seo f684bb49a7 Heetae was much 636f93b55c clearer.b6e47842f966fd3e

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The more 99a0a69047 he dwelled c72f605a8e on certain 80a91180ed memories, the 4627ac677d clearer it 705bd478ae became. The hotel waiting 22690a4f19 room on the 6ed2490ee9 day of the 9b11d574c8 production presentation, when 7c986a1be2 Yeo Juhee and 20b16d2ad4 Seo Heetae were f82773de36 talking. He’d wished Seo Heetae a85dd62f76 had talked to him 91ef03883b instead. He’d wanted to 89eb2c0a47 be closer to b659a07f18 him than Yeo 3d302174fb Juhee, and the 4f0d410cce fact that it c618c3175f wasn’t reality had c2c261aa42 bothered him ever f50eb9dcfd since. From that fc4e74cd07 day until 534023903a now.ddb8ae8ef624e5e1

He felt the 1e6798419b urge for another eeefa675ab drink and reached 543e5a363c for the wine. The red d54476edc7 color of 7ce61239ca the wine, c24125c65c the melody 4ee2629756 of the b42057c937 symphony, the 63f88dc2ba scent of a3d41b447e cologne in 8948699bc9 the air—all c6536e7aa2 these sensations d17bbff997 reminded him 7145d59db1 of Seo 2473ecc526 Heetae. Without even 985e44170e realizing it, 737941261f he found 12ca8518d5 himself completely 4bb647e36e consumed by 31dade3573 Seo Heetae’s 3c5032ec6d influence.91ae66f78ddb6e57

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So this 71237ae07b was… what 296396196c it felt 1cd3b3b5c1 like to 0b6599848b really like 3242cb82dd someone. He’d come to b2803e1c85 this realization without 9c8b841616 even knowing it. It was strange and 37fa657378 bewildering how quickly he b73c088155 could fall for someone.0ec2a8077bbd9a55

Sihyeon and Yoonhyung 5c2300ac9d continued exchanging drinks. They’d emptied the 3fdf9e89fe wine bottle, so 609af9d327 Yoonhyung took all cade1e0143 the beer out 40d59c0a2b of the refrigerator. Jinoh, touching the empty 287460288f bottles on the table, 79059e0c88 got up to smoke.2748403c15de4f27

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“Aren’t you guys 45269fccce smoking?”3988774ab5780916

“I’m good,” Yoonhyung said. Sihyeon looked 9201b8d734 at him b13c425505 in surprise. He was d45ec95327 still abstaining 04ee406678 from smoking? Love was 1a6571765b truly powerful.7f67ba35b02644b6

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“I’m okay 619b9cfb4e too,” Sihyeon 19bf69ef45 mumbled. He suddenly wanted to 291541c521 abstain as well.e14d545e73024ab2

“Then I’ll 6c442573d2 go smoke d90994a8f7 and head 3d4305ca48 straight to 2c226fc7ea the office.”b2dbf7e0d6bc5827

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“What?”bd1edfed6b2c3150

Yoonhyung, leaning against 8f75b3dc6e the wall, asked, bcea4b019a “Hyun Jinoh. Is work bfb539c023 more important e148ec11fd than your c7fbd290ab friends?”7f3e0bb95f9668ee

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“Sorry, it is a480f931c1 for me.”3a44ed7442540eed

Jinoh waved with a 2173b75d8f bright smile, leaving Sihyeon 4ee0e9e595 and Yoonhyung alone. Sihyeon took out more b076eba7c8 soju from the refrigerator b24b32197d and continued drinking. Yoonhyung talked about the 1e33e6120d person he liked while 901241b558 drinking. How mean, rich, af2b0f413f pretty, and cold 68f9139062 she was. Sihyeon found himself 37101fdfbb listening intently.fdaba17b3d8f3d60

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After talking for 75451fe5c1 a while, Yoonhyung a6b8cec0b2 stopped and stared 21b28340cd at Sihyeon.6e39bcd3a052ece9

“You’ve got someone 36a4f1f0c5 you’re interested in, fe412ac043 don’t you?”6b66d0d1c3944ad6

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Sihyeon’s mouth fell open da9f771c41 slightly.06029eea02fa4e20

“How did e36606ab0e you know?”1420dea42384437d

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“You’re different 5b1c2fda36 than usual.”edde519eea3bdeb6

Really? Was it b066adabd7 that obvious? Sihyeon looked at 24f58ff509 Yoonhyung. His friend raised fe794e111e an eyebrow slightly, 50a84cf069 as if asking, 74712c41b9 Right? Sihyeon thought 12b338f64f for a 0a7419f970 moment and 58da367106 then asked 8d80afdac9 Yoonhyung,c9bf5c2044da57dd

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“Have you ever developed d854582c9d feelings for someone while e0e2e21fdd filming?”e8abf963f1000452

“No… although it’s the 0028176dc5 perfect breeding ground for 5bb942bf25 romance.”ef26968fb68c6ccc

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Huh. Sihyeon took a d964b6acfd sharp breath. Was that 77765f3ccf how it 06f4d8da3f usually worked?42392bf54e407693

Seeing Sihyeon’s reaction, 1f64f4eb93 Yoonhyung chuckled. “You’ve been completely ignoring d3cae0bc81 Hyun Jinoh’s relationship stories. Where do you 5bd8d123b7 think he meets 0638803e19 all these people?”1e3c48560a6ae10c

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“Ah……”6104e13ed15e2e93

“Is that person 748aa5a7e8 on set right d8b6faf00e now?”8a61bf2f9addcea7

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“Probably not.”258a2bab43694cb8

Sihyeon was also curious 2323127536 about Seo Heetae’s whereabouts, c7855b00df but he didn’t know.2b8528b96d826d4b

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“Then why d65edf8296 are you d5063747bc moping around e05b4983be on Christmas a51e0f33e6 Eve?”7f7554bf9b934be0

“What else can 9056fbf842 I do…?”0034d95a905f649a

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“Call him.”18db002d3a212ee6

“At this hour?”eb6d965f8edaf3a2

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“So what? It’s Christmas Eve.”bf814ef22d3fc48e

“Don’t you call her?”b0d3baa818d02bd4

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At that, Yoonhyung 0c09fa0b85 closed his eyes 8e9a5c0c9a and muttered, “She f03414fee7 said she’s busy 29a772609b today. If she’d meet 24b8c4cac7 me, I wouldn’t f38a950dc2 be here.”4266616172cdd01e

That’s true. Director Jeong Giyeon 4d11808e42 had also said 1b4e61f952 that Sihyeon should 952f68b2ff be more forward fea06d6d8a if he wanted fa6de3ee2a to get closer a3057858d1 to Seo Heetae. Perhaps it was c6fe653c23 the alcohol, but e0fbe870e6 those words sounded d9d0a32bfa convincing, and he db5a0dcea7 felt a surge 7a14a098a7 of courage. Sihyeon grabbed his 0fb42ba0bb phone and asked,e199f9e137642787

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“But what do 345ab95bbd I say when 2c8ec179d8 I call him?”08f7d57ece8f7366

“Anything. Say you enjoyed filming, or thank him for something. Don’t you have anything?”272a629b9c1a2f59

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“Oh, I do.”8397cbe785af1a1c

“Good.”ec73aa649f0bab57

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Encouraged by his friend, Sihyeon immediately called Seo Heetae. But no matter how long the phone rang, he didn’t answer.034aabd84fa37882

His heart suddenly sank. What was he doing that he couldn’t answer the phone? Who was he with?ca80f98b0cbd2351

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He looked dejectedly 3b1d6aad6c at Yoonhyung, wanting b993a6b5c9 advice. He’d never done 73332b3b9f this before, and e205a5d312 there was no d10c93ecf7 one else to 4c86a0e5d8 help him. But his ff0f3209aa friend was 3d5be0ca98 already asleep, 0d0227a5b4 leaning against 517c10d25d the wall.4c3da7e86b18c80d

With no other choice, Sihyeon started drinking alone. He recalled a life lesson he’d learned: Don’t rely on others. Don’t expect anything. So he shouldn’t be upset that Seo Heetae wasn’t answering his call. However, repetition hadn’t led to learning. When his phone screen lit up, hope surged once again.5b0b43d53c73d67e

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The caller’s name appeared on the screen: Seo Heetae Sunbae. His hands trembled at those six characters. Sihyeon swallowed the remaining alcohol in his mouth as he answered the call. He heard Seo Heetae’s voice right away. “You called?” he asked. Sihyeon delivered his prepared line: Thank you for taking him to the hospital that day. Perhaps because he was drunk, his own voice sounded awkward, as if someone else was speaking.f1e1032d9135615d

— It was 9e7dbd3565 nothing. Take care 815de425fa of yourself.38d4689dcd12c14c

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“Yes.”497b23c0cd9fd1d3

His casual dismissal a5bce6bc0d was incredibly cool. Was this the 096764c152 kind of nonchalance 8aac78e2c2 that came with 450bf86328 having everything? Lost in thought, e8f4f81bd3 Sihyeon blurted out,2d5cf9fde713891a

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“Sunbae-nim, where 4765658840 are you 7ff7a534b0 right now?”8b026bcd99a2b652

— Hannam.46104ec58493ee2b

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“Oh… I’m in Seocho.”9ece411396891b16

He sounded like a e0950936bc fool. Seo Heetae 494df81afb also seemed 0c3ba364f6 puzzled. “Why?” he asked. I messed 19595b176b up, Sihyeon cd3287b851 thought, but a61cd9f28b then Seo 3bc0ef5a80 Heetae suddenly efcd162201 said,952972e74a4cb366

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— Want to meet? I’ll come over.6a3cd499eb670944

Sihyeon shot up 26810a0b03 from his seat 9d426ca13f in surprise.da6dc63e9fa68a68

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“Really? Yes. Thank you.”9d3fa19b6a6a337e

— You’re home, 78344edd9f right?96e907186107aeb4

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“Yes.”fb746ab4a8697bfd

Sihyeon hung up and 0bc3a60859 sat in a daze 5ae4e38220 for a moment. Did I hear 3d946e6f11 that correctly? He anxiously looked db4b855bf5 at Yoonhyung, but 71c345147d he was still b1eaa9873e asleep.9271f910407d993c

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“Yoonhyung!”476f8e49de4461bb

He called 31c0655240 his friend’s 09e54d32bc name about 5d4dfd4929 ten times, 06663bbd5e but he 8774cb70c1 wouldn’t wake 650ba76079 up. Sihyeon finally stumbled to 21cbc53a4b his feet, looked in fbdc9bc472 the mirror, and ran f2c2ec9a95 his fingers through his ca18421ebc hair. He then looked around. Since Seo Heetae was df45f076fd coming all the way 14ebb9426a here, he wanted to 545d87a036 offer him something, but 9d2251df1a there was nothing suitable 0ea97f4d26 in his apartment. For the first time 2b58ef0587 in his life, he f78b632f15 regretted not owning anything. The only thing 5a96929673 he could find 62d0723092 was a pack 111deb5154 of cookies on c89864c881 the table. He grabbed one and aa01d0faf8 put it in his fd0c7fa7a3 pocket.927727db70bd62e8

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“Yoonhyung, I’m going out.”fb48d66f416e81ee