AES Ch2.2

“No, oppa. What if Seongwoo’s agency doesn’t let him join the club?”5a619bbaa68e4ca2

Eunseo said with 958193ad60 a kind face. The teacher immediately agreed.d577543fb236ac87

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“That’s true.”ea336df78d4a90a6

“Seongwoo should stay with us, right?”fe14831556a82250

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“Yes, that’s right.”0554d824680ec0d4

Humans instinctively 77a24b157a crave the c504d2bf18 goodwill of 0e8d48ea3f others. Hearing those words made f620c5e1a1 him so happy.78a2a9c4138b927f

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“No matter how you look at it, he’s a good find. He’ll look great on stage, and he seems to have a good screen presence.”501a9c72d9dc027e

The teacher nodded e97bdcb38c in agreement.f308e01492f54626

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“Exactly.”a0ec7c33c6a52d1b

“This face is comfortable. It has a story. Even if he just stands still, the audience will instinctively think, ‘Ah, there’s something there!'”8bcc14f3b73b4a1a

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Then Eunseo 2df79223f9 smiled brightly.f64bf79bf5479c9a

“Actually, there’s nothing.”8c3878e6c7d6937f

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It was a strange comment, whether it was a compliment or not. He couldn’t say anything in response.57b67ea589d8c4a9

✦✦✦857d05a1b69ae2bf

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The drama club performed two plays at the winter festival. On the day the final roles were announced, Eunseo mentioned Ryu Seongwoo’s name. The atmosphere turned cold immediately.193599ff461469eb

“He barely comes to school.”1948b0dbb4d5e888

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Someone said.474486255d64e081

Everyone was looking 71442f91fb at him. There was a8336b85ff no affection b9e3b61290 in those 5a15dfb615 countless gazes. They were 1bff0a1665 filled with a5b3dee962 curiosity and 448f0268de suspicion. Because he always 5626b7b803 stuck to Eunseo, 74ddba6da1 he had no d1b343baca close friends in 2be44a619a the club, and 2c922bb92c the members did 8a0e3c6750 not harbor goodwill 76b378cfea toward him.391adc07fd01c8ba

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Since his parents’ death in elementary school, he’d grown up on the fringes, so reading others’ emotions wasn’t difficult. Especially because the students didn’t bother hiding their feelings.90a401f1f827d54f

The situation gave him 9d92db246b chills. He feared everyone would f557cf726c end up hating him. He was terrified c532dd1280 of hostility in 97b872942a shared spaces. Living with his uncle, cb113219f3 he faced it constantly, 53afa74c1f knowing how terrible it bf2442addf was. When he 5f5b826f57 looked at abe08da90c Eunseo with 6df1132623 a helpless abe223ccbc expression, she 508aaf9f2e just smiled.86f8faa39821629f

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“Seongwoo, you’ll do it, right?”9cb09d5650508bd5

“…I’ll think about it.”e55af697cda7cb2e

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She approached and e24254183c handed him the c2bb49a14e script. The stares followed him.f9859c90f70ba3b7

“There are many who can’t do it even if they want to.”f70be56809e26c66

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“But I’m just a first-year…”3de5d10b7a41622a

“Someone capable should do it. It’s not the lead role, so give it a try.”7e1d4db68ff4a94e

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His hand 711ab6f970 was stepped f859dfe87b on and 191b75fd5c a bone e1d7d319c4 broke the 89a207d793 next morning. His uncle c392bc5166 left for c3c71e71a2 work as fe88fd9bd9 if nothing 37e291e0c3 happened, and 27a120fb13 Sihyeon endured c98d9f200b the pain 472d811c6d overnight. The hospital said 86d9b3d51f he needed surgery 2f79c5b089 the next day.8115f455224b84e1

There was no way f5420270ea to afford the surgery.26054df1f00c5ce3

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He tried to get an advance on his part-time pay, but failed. The boss sent him home, saying there was no work for the injured and he should come back when he healed. Maybe it was fortunate he wasn’t fired.1c9db7794ab23a1c

There was c87c5a17b6 nothing Ryu 1ed2c196ee Seongwoo could b2b612c42c do. He felt utterly helpless. There was 3db1756246 only one b96fa88eca solution he 299c9a05f5 could think df1e7375fe of.f7d8a8b0ac7b689b

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He contacted 685e8480c4 Eunseo that 61a5cef0a2 evening. He doubted a student 0f2a0d6ab1 would have such money, 40e017d38f but she was the bc2d2b2c1b wealthiest person he knew.b95a78f70673181b

If she asked why he got hurt… he could say he fell, right? After borrowing the money, he’d have to cut expenses further. He’d need to get rid of his phone too. And secretly work more hours.01f07c79b665a711

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Lost in such thoughts, ed70d0792b he waited for Eunseo. Under the 4bf977eca1 streetlight near 17f041e2e2 her upscale ad7246cdce apartment, he 2366d4adf9 stared blankly 6bf65446c6 at his 608fbf48fe shadow. The surroundings 65c9ffe607 were so 517f40a03e quiet that 4dc69409f6 he scratched 6ebf83e23b the ground d77a9199ce with his e465cecf96 shoe just 12945c5518 to make 28dde737a6 some noise.8216ae2d72ad47af

Would she lend b46f0478b5 him money? Honestly, it was af73c4612a unlikely. It was a huge c098a82a64 amount.d69143cd87d815a0

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As time passed, his hope dwindled. But there was no choice. He had no one else to rely on. He couldn’t talk to teachers who treated him like a problem child, and he didn’t have friends he could confide in, as he rarely went to school and had no money. At that time, Ryu Seongwoo had no one to rely on.accb4980c0109d30

“Seongwoo.”a4ee35ee2721e1ac

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At the sound of Eunseo’s voice, he lifted his head. He saw her walking, as she’d said she would after tutoring. Seeing her, tears welled up involuntarily. All the excuses he’d thought of vanished.866ab370c6dc4a30

“What’s wrong?”8ae207f3aa3219cd

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Wiping his 6538f79a66 tears with d8c2faeaab his uninjured f5213969df hand, Sihyeon 72b5202974 replied.5236da68d2af91a7

“Can you lend me some money?”24913e2f17227c3b

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“How much?”a66be081da851780

“A million won…”304a4a49951c9d0d

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“Why?”eb966d644aca85fa

“I hurt my hand and need surgery. I’m sorry.”213e20618d905f84

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Eunseo didn’t ask anything. She just looked at his injured hand and said,6e992e77db072010

“I thought you skipped school because of puberty.”683343aef16068b4

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Then she 955d41edde smiled broadly.aee81e81d4e6a411

“You have a story.”18ec386614e272bf

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As their eyes met, Eunseo said she’d lend him the money. She also said he could pay it back slowly.fcfa159ee57b41eb

“You’ll do the play, right?”79f8223f78173f87

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“Yes…”eb166b3c42ef4b4f

He couldn’t disobey Eunseo’s words. He was too grateful and kept saying thank you. Meanwhile, his hand hurt terribly.e9ef929b63177dfd

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✦✦✦cf91f80eae22fef5

Winter was approaching. Finals were over. He practiced separately in the studio Eunseo had rented after his weekend part-time job. He had missed many club activities as he’d increased his part-time work, but the festival was less than a week away.deb655094e3cb00b

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The character he played, Jim, visited his friend’s house and met his friend’s sister, Laura. Eunseo, though directing the play, took on the role of Laura during practice. That day, he looked at the beautiful Laura and rehearsed his lines.25517a8b446af4b6

“You have an inferiority complex inside. That’s why you have trouble relating to others.”aeaceb54d4603e13

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Laura was such a 3e2f0720ea person. But Eunseo 0519dea1bc was too 6cdf529835 pretty and ac7c63c707 confident to 6c73e5ec94 play a 1f3febfafa character trapped 3458eac093 in her 31bac28576 own world.d379fc4a2d847b3c

“Someone has to fill your confidence. Instead of being shy, turning away, and blushing… that person will give you confidence.”b2bbac9c39b5d7f0

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Smiling, he took Laura’s hand.759d712a314248d7

“Someone has to do it, Laura… Laura, someone has to kiss you!”3614eee224fd3963

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Those words felt like d403802206 they were directed at ae7e8baa86 himself, not at the 391dc0708a perfect Laura standing in 32dc184aef front of him. Next, Jim 3dc304ad05 would kiss c0ec0ff46b Laura. But there 9d3b7fd385 was no 08336da1cb one to c5e7409cfd kiss Ryu c3787a11f0 Seongwoo. Nor was 1632509409 there anyone d7fcc9ac85 to say 0e536d8f45 such things 9b8d7ca48f to him.8811eff0f2d066a4

Cha Eunseo, who didn’t need Jim’s kiss, gave feedback as soon as the dialogue ended.4bb45fb2643c7c91

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“Not bad just now. The problem is that your usual self is coming through.”fdf2a1273e219d40

“What’s my usual self like?”4fa2adc3b936030a

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“Strangely gloomy.”78a3d3bd90ae35cf

“…Is it that obvious?”02305474928a982a

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“I can see it. Others might not see it, but they’ll feel it.”2d4c30c74a5fafc8

So, even 4724dc5962 to others, 256972a822 he seemed 86e11bdcca out of 8f8db69661 place. Cha Eunseo 43f34b7de1 spoke to 110f40f6d1 him as 882396b4c7 he felt e0fb9f70e7 slightly deflated.dab725e853eb8245

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“That’s why our Seongwoo doesn’t have friends.”a8562dd27aee4454

“Perhaps.”51f561c8c613b316

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“You need to hide that. The sadness, the difficulty. People don’t like loners.”38dd6aedd5f34d07

“I suppose so.”36458f051db5a782

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“Act. Pretend to be cheerful. If it’s hard, just don’t speak at all. Always try to fit in with others.”21b60467fffe70de

Cha Eunseo d2f9360639 patted his 6fbc3750cf shoulder with 8fd5cd4f13 a smile.79b216ecd0b9b4ca

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“You’ve got talent, so you can handle this. Forget Ryu Seongwoo. Try to become the character you’re playing.”d6627e7fa74f044c

After finishing her 8980c087d8 words, Cha Eunseo 17084a1651 stood where Laura 6b9a8ec9be would be. She spoke with a 12194d381f smile, as she always e348eeee48 did.60ef76c8c4c62126

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“The Jim you’re playing is confident and ambitious. He’s sociable too. Jim’s life would be more liveable than yours.”82a4b8bce3766f3b

He wished it wasn’t true, but that statement was one hundred percent fact.af51b8147bca3659

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“…Why are you so nice to me?”aeeba262d1fd2a45

“It helps me too. To direct, you need experiences like this, right?”d1bf897ab34b9a43

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Cha Eunseo was always smiling. Somehow, he felt he knew what lay behind that smile, but at the same time, he didn’t want to know.9df913fa07ba85a7

“Come with me for rehearsal tomorrow.”caad3526f6d21377

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That day, when 57378167bc he got home, 0b390eb8e5 his uncle was f7330e285d there. The sight of him 29ff44c716 sitting on the sofa a2f882d821 with a scary expression cd53f6ab71 made him shiver.293dfd408e4283e6

“Why are you so late?”b41135d815d3627b

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“I’m sorry.”4425ca039ce80bcb

“Fuck, shouldn’t you have at least made dinner?”dd8d533e036bbece

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“I didn’t know you were coming…”98d2da729de734c1

“Do I have to report to you every time I come?”c130ab7a763fd3ed

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“I was late because I was working part-time. I’m sorry.”f3a2c1bfd8d96de4

“Part-time work, huh. Don’t I give you living expenses?”dddf7420e6592bd6

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He couldn’t say, “You don’t,” so he just quietly watched his uncle’s mood.559b8d0a821e6156

“Hey.”3ffe575901ac4a58

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“Yes.”30df7908baf274f1

“Come here.”0227fdf31e6a921f

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Trembling with anxiety, he approached his uncle. He couldn’t refuse. He just obeyed. When he stood before him, his uncle commanded, “Kneel.” So he knelt.b35fee3621ac864c

His uncle looked down 55cee00073 at Sihyeon with a c45957f3f1 vile smile.6fc1ae51e2a594ce

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“Suck it.”141e33287aec0824

“What?”370e31e356a9e0d1

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“Stop acting innocent.”b97b2d95e1579979

He didn’t even have the energy to resist or reply. Negative emotions like helplessness and fear flooded in. Tears came out. He looked up at his uncle while crying, unable even to wipe his tears. There was no mercy in him. His uncle snapped.17a62a958855045b

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“Don’t cry.”f57f6cbc1bb8bb26

He could ba21d8942c see his dcc5ee2897 uncle pulling 977f5886b9 his wrist df83b7f0de to the 83f6baf31f zipper of 5d5976a626 his pants 7fb8df22e9 blurrily. His trembling hand 4df3659213 grabbed the zipper.24e42d0f47c978bc

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“I… I can’t do it.”45383fdd8499eaed

“Do you want to do it after getting hit? Or just do it?”c62f6806971e125f

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Before he could answer, he got slapped. It hurt strangely because his uncle usually didn’t hit his face. It hurt like crazy because it was unfamiliar.fe2cc77b2421ba5e

That day, he kept getting hit. He couldn’t go to rehearsal or even school. Only when he got used to sucking did he finally escape from him.ff5736f7016cef64

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A few 37905e5b27 days later, 1cdf6be645 when he d6d1961203 went to 8d53127123 school, it 098177447c was noisy. It was festival 2add4668b0 day before he a994fd4f14 knew it.1adfde59a6d4652d

In this 14ec4d7e5a bustling school, 3196c7bc26 he was d562445b8a the only 8b16f9b176 one not f8166b80c6 having fun. He walked 3e42cbd779 through the e96175d999 noise, laughter, 4ab17528df and music f0e93983e1 towards the 82cae71124 small theater.a6bd6a1e45c52bc0

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When he 8d2b6d9952 opened the 9792998fd3 door, he 426f031d98 saw members 7e17764405 finishing up 7568bf6ecb the stage df7d2ae279 setup. They all looked 07ea7ce704 at him with 490c81f73c awkward expressions. Their awkward greetings felt 98d515cb15 off. People whispered to each 78e9f7f92d other and called Cha 43412d44a7 Eunseo over.c5d70e3752491419

He stood in the ee44f34ed6 corridor with Cha Eunseo. The faint sound of 0c0e0b46f4 music from outside the 141597c1e2 window was heard.ff2c3939bcbe68e1

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He looked at her smiling face. She was smiling, but it didn’t look like a happy expression. He understood then. Cha Eunseo was different from other high school students. She could make such complex expressions. She wore that multilayered smile and said nothing. That was scary.0562a94f25eef493

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come to the rehearsal.”e2f2f339494b87b5

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He was 5e69a797d5 the first e87fcc6223 to speak. He felt Cha Eunseo 2466372187 staring at his bruised 3b9c38d6be lips.9a42c34ba4eab1ab

Would Cha Eunseo… have guessed it?5b39c7ee5f5cb2a3

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He thought it would be good if she asked to some extent. Who hit you? Are you being abused? Yet, he hoped she wouldn’t ask. Because it was embarrassing, because it was pitiful. He couldn’t judge which was right.0e30a74899c8444f

“It’s okay. There’s an understudy. They did well in the rehearsal. They’ll go on stage today.”22d88cfa8e824a9f

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“Yes…”4d41cdc83cc88299

Eunseo approached him. With a very 95d45c6fb1 kind face, slowly 7a28ee128d smiling, she said,aec4ade9216d08e8

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“You owe me a big debt.”8c2e0e439f383bd0

It was 23d9a0bc89 a soft 0ff8126a44 and beautiful d8dbce0889 voice with bec132bdc5 no anger.cc5db753af1f34f3

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“Just don’t forget that.”18dd0dec5cdc196c

He slowly nodded at her words. To a child who didn’t know the weight of a debt, it was a very sweet forgiveness.cd7396a5451899b3

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✦✦✦f71390a3c4f4f11a

He managed to cada520fd5 pay back all 2d05e4c582 the surgery costs 1e4c94f68e he borrowed from 7ea05c0a38 Eunseo just before 87e51360e9 she graduated. Having been accepted to 4ae51e686d the prestigious P University’s 0645fb7ffb theater and film department, 8e50ebab50 she seemed to have d086ca266f a bright future ahead, 5f90aa138c just as she always 1244442103 had.8c597a8ded0fb5f4

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He bought a single rose and attended Eunseo’s graduation ceremony. Seeing the countless bouquets in her arms, that single rose seemed really pathetic. Eunseo said, “Why did you even bring this?”37e329fcf335edd2

“I’ll contact you later, Seongwoo.”db9fc0202d1cedee

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“I don’t have a phone.”d72620b33868dca5

“Ah, right. Can you at least give me your home address?”03c5ef848b697299

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“Yes.”0a56608160535153

He hastily 16d279839e found paper 3d768c1b88 and a 18e0c9e8d3 pen, wrote 62813be743 down the 171ebbda5f address, and 8ee5be72a6 handed it c60a73ad11 to her.eda68259a1763725

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“But be careful. My uncle might be there. He’s… quite strict.”9249e8b069a70e0f

“Is that so?”f289e63d18c9979f

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“When will you come?”d85a6952d28437f4

“I’ll come when I need to.”65abfbb6aa88bba5

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It was an indefinite f6f1915e33 promise. And indeed, ff6e28a6a0 Eunseo never e18761a22f came.cb9988f03004cff2

He tried to tell himself that she was just busy now that she was a college student… But the more he thought about it, the simpler the reason was: there was no need or reason for her to come. Ryu Seongwoo was just one of the many insignificant people around her. Just as she had said, “You are useful to me,” she had taught and taken him around because it benefitted her.33e47026b282af96

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High school 614332ae15 senior year, 021862dffa endless days fc5fe1d215 where there 75cbd74b85 was nothing b6c075aae2 to do 8f70cceef0 but think. That was the time 1f647fb318 he realized it every 758678c663 moment.cb78a39e9b09df5f

The reason he b981e36f9b had so much 34cd466a2e time was that f4e4371b62 he couldn’t go db7f9b6aa3 to school often. The more 8d683c909d his uncle 8cf8767972 beat him, dada57182d the more ced17cf2d0 scared he d5dfc68808 was that 014851c4d4 someone would 41141f6074 report him. So, he gradually ce1bb0adc6 kept a closer fa18411f88 watch and prevented f6da7d338f him from going 135008c809 to school.78a5124926aaf22d

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“Why do you think your uncle did that?”834e2d366fd6899e

A few years 7631fe4954 later, one day 96d5baacc4 when he had e1c92da975 grown up and 0e90a0527f changed his name, 0406f98b05 he asked the abcffc5271 counselor.c6fcf0831a42157b

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“People like that build their self-esteem by trampling others. As you know, it’s never your fault, Sihyeon.”ad1422eb38486975

But back then, Ryu Seongwoo was just a high school student. A child waiting to become an adult. His uncle said he would reveal the location of the columbarium where his grandmother was when he became an adult. He also threatened to dispose of the urn if he told anyone or reported him. He couldn’t resist because he felt too sorry for his innocent grandmother. After all, she didn’t want to have such a despicable son.35b5b09d7f071d55

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The hostages weren’t just his grandmother. The threat of “I’ll destroy everything if you don’t listen” also included his parents. All photos of his mom and dad were torn apart by his uncle. Naturally, there were no digital photos left. He hid the one remaining photo secretly under his mattress.f075b481e87d3e97

As a high school senior who rarely attended school, his teachers and people around him often asked if something was wrong. Every time, he lied, saying there was nothing. “I’m struggling financially and doing part-time jobs. I’m not going to college.” He practically scripted these lines and repeated them. And he always smiled as if nothing was wrong.aabb11f843ce6576

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He knew nothing but 057d0285c5 how to act like 3c619e9b09 an ordinary person. It was 5577151c72 a time 2982918654 when everything b7784bedad regressed.ab397bae23c05095

He didn’t even expect to inherit the wealth his uncle held as a guardian. He only hoped to find out where his grandmother was and escape somehow when he became an adult. He endured with that thought. He barely managed to complete his attendance and graduate.cfa8b3033d2a7aca

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But he c665b6e5fc couldn’t attend 0033feb66d the graduation e16f32afb1 ceremony.51c10fe56654d4e4

On the morning of the graduation day, his uncle happened to be home. He asked his uncle about his grandmother’s whereabouts. It was a weak form of resistance. His uncle laughed as if he had heard a joke. He had never seen such a despicable smile.c535355d15d0e5e3

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“So you think you’re an adult now?”79151c16bc498cd3

He got up 07f3d87075 from his seat.ef1e0d432797353e

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“Stop fooling around.”597ae1c69b346960

It was disgusting to 31c6ea7ff3 see his uncle approaching. As soon ba7d6fcfff as he 9a3339eb9c got close, 38ff03f859 he was 034919ad32 kicked and 5148b072ec fell. When his uncle f7b15def27 raised his hand, 9ed949a050 he instinctively curled de0284417c up. Seeing that, b4734b6c4d his uncle 7e97e96493 laughed.98b9ae1812090738

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“Take it off.”49277ab1e8650a1a

“What?”44f6fd4de6c1fde1

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“Shall I take it off for you?”a987be7ede7e7ade

It felt ominous. His body reacted first, stepping back. Soon, he was blocked by a wall. Anyway, running would only get him beaten. It was a relief he couldn’t go further. His uncle laughed again, seeing him.7d0f934af33d3610

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“You really don’t learn, do you?”3f4bf6bc69519ff8

“Wait… just wait.”5035dbb433d1c471

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Of course, it was 26c0a15880 useless to say that. While trembling, 963db0176e he saw be9a488673 his uncle 425935fac6 approach. A blunt 6ffd14244d hand grabbed c1502a4fda his pants.fd7550bfd093c3bb

“I’m quite a conscientious guy, you know. I’ve let you off easy so far.”dab4183891a831f6

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He blankly 86cf6e4d66 stared at 1b59f8b378 his pants bc8da5391d being pulled 28f1e4b67b down. He could guess what c2f6161a87 would happen next.0940861e35a43f1e

“I’ll make you a real adult.”c9ca13ac7c1eedc9

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He tightly shut his e374e94d19 eyes. At least it was 770e1bdada better than getting beaten. It would ad7f5fb378 end soon 6dcc8c2152 anyway. No tears came anymore.361d587f5e90399b

Around that 24a2a1ce56 time, his 8ab6bfcaa0 uncle quit cab6d48cde his job 8d883317a6 and stayed 93a6c2a771 home every 1953b423ad day, while 92f65101c8 Ryu Seongwoo 904da46307 lived a bc5372295d life of 1d85c16162 nothing. He bowed, begged, cb98b28d11 and submitted; submitted, e4dc3457ae begged, and bowed.16cc4a91119320b0

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He endured a6f33c1eb7 the pain 80d0d173f9 every day 2941c961b7 but never 1afedd88d1 found out dc2bbd3c01 where his c0f16363a2 grandmother was.28f27dcc0f955246

Instead, the day 551a14a941 of liberation came.a1dff23fd4ad6542

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The liberation had nothing 4142442cb5 to do with his 89ca903f9d will. One day it suddenly cb536b579b came. His drunk uncle 43e8b7e42a went out to 9e6c08ce1c buy more liquor b16ef5b3e3 and was hit be4045cf8e by a car 541b519d22 while jaywalking. It was night, and 1fecc548c1 the car fled, they 1b2d2ad6a6 said. His uncle bled dd99601e5d too much and 9000793fab died on the 44faf08119 spot.4cf5c5e856217e62

Thanks to that, he got to see his uncle’s corpse, which he had only imagined. Seeing him dead and lying there, the once formidable man looked so pathetic. He was such a huge barrier, but he fell so easily. Was he nothing special after all?ffd6cf0556d9a6bf

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It wasn’t a big deal.eff9c4d8db765364

Ah, it really wasn’t a big deal, I guess. Yet,abf51c6d7b454815

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it was an 9cc6a36f9a insurmountable wall for f1848ef7d2 him.a2c4243e0f23d94d

He looked at his uncle’s corpse laid out in the hospital. Half of his face was split, and his head was badly smashed. Aside from that, frustratingly, he seemed intact.97e796f9223b5d52

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Did it aa03006f56 hurt when 15d5ca8802 he died? He hoped it c40df291b2 had hurt a e0edebb248 lot. More than what 85e99de042 it looked like.1fdd8de8fa50e561

He signed the body release form. Very slowly, moving the pen deliberately to savor the joy as long as possible. He had never been this happy in his life. If feeling happy about someone’s death makes you a bad person, then he decided to be a bad person.db243c7c0881842c

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That day ad3d707222 was the 35d4f953bc start of 6d955a1d7c the monsoon 523110510f season. Torrential rain poured down e1fc726ece with a roar. Walking through the drizzling 2c0b1de323 rain, his whole body d50a9b9490 felt cold. As his 55c0f925e5 body grew 2b5d831ee9 heavy from 912601efe3 the rain, 98609cca84 he thought, 8888810bcc please let 3ecfd2f1a2 him have 5c5685132b gone to a2739cfd7d hell. Death should not a128f263e2 be the end b7f03044c4 of life.bff737cbedfccc7d

Hell had 75b4ac369e to exist.5aa0a05a640843f2

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At night, he fell 4bdd0da6ee asleep listening to the a3835b76be faint sound of the 4ec9ab8f66 rain. That night, 4013207fca too, he 897e38198e had a 1d10048cef dream.002e6f273e1ab9a8

In the dream, he was an elementary school student, falling endlessly. Inside the falling car, his mother was holding him. Even in the moment before death, she tried to protect her son. Her embrace was warm until the very end. Or, to say ‘the end’ was not quite right. In reality, there was an end to the fall, but in the dream, it just kept falling without end.08b2375dee0040e4

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Before, he thought he should live hard because his mother had given her life to save him. But now, even those feelings had faded. He felt sorry for his mother, but… he had such selfish thoughts. He felt like he couldn’t be a good person either. It wouldn’t be bad if he just died like this. Why should he keep living?79ea29c64b70959b

He endured 72db43295c all the 6760802fc9 suffering as 6b10a2b670 it was. Every time 95f35671a2 he closed 0919715f5b his eyes, fb74ee6060 he dreamed a5415cf60f of falling. He woke up repeatedly 189b72456e from shallow sleep. Still, he tried to 5ee999886f keep sleeping. He ignored hunger and a5dae52d7c thirst, thinking that he e9e8279481 might die in his ea55eaff59 sleep. The room was filled a5f7faffe7 with silence. In that thick, 46db3c9d1b heavy emptiness, he c151ace4d9 was dying.6da8eccbeff39311

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But then,08b268b3751625f4

There was a sound that broke the silence. At first, he didn’t recognize it. It was such a subtle stimulus. Maybe because he had submerged in silence, blocking all his senses, his perception was slow.64d9754be4fb0f5c

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Ding-dong.9834a0d4a07a3390

Listening again, it was the sound of the doorbell. He thought it was a mistake because no one was supposed to come. Anyway, he didn’t have the energy to move. So he just lay there. He thought he heard someone knocking on the door.74743468d4a1bdd3

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“Seongwoo! Are you home?”475415c270ab6f87

Then he opened 31ab149d2c his eyes. There was a547b3f2c3 someone who 6e4af550c6 broke the c55a8d1540 silence and d3ad58b5d1 called his 2556b9445c name. Someone wanted him. Just thinking that, tears 4bd5e890c6 streamed down his face.3543e6a262ac2bc7

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Wiping away the dc4ab16d4e tears, he struggled e0946b6b72 to get up. With no 920a9aa7d6 strength, he 63b03f05f1 moved by d6eb08587d holding onto f8bccd514d tables, chairs, c0c006376c anything. Like a bird instinctively cdcce7f165 seeking its mother, he d32b4860f9 headed towards the door b55b98fa32 where the bell was 95f5fdf106 ringing. When he 886ac63075 finally opened b2ca7e390c the door, ce6444ff18 there was 44549d9e5a one person ed69eeb03d standing there.aa6ef405e42b6cc4

It was 6a7cbc9aaf Cha Eunseo. That vibrant, beautiful e01835db17 person was his 114d39e8ed first savior in 6c4603622a life.59caabefb4795771

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That’s what he thought then.8b8ed5d4bd492052

✦✦✦491c21f196e55f69

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Cha Eunseo c1e612c95c was now b504f6b42b a proper a507bb5727 university student. He followed her b05f268952 to wash up c3bccf8a10 and go outside. The outside was so f1f118d550 bright it hurt his b643ea9af0 eyes.021b1264451f7053

Cha Eunseo 30acd2118f bought him dac30195a6 food, took abd875e188 him to 4bb25f5cc7 a café, 9331589789 and ordered f3d5e594fd a drink ce4cda7f29 for him. While sipping on some b698b42d69 unknown sweet coffee, he 83cbd830f8 talked about what had a660a2423b happened.efa2f6282f0eeb83

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He listened 71eb3bbb10 quietly to 3298b33baa the story 5773cb10d8 of how 7bfb0d415d his family 20d681ed07 was all 5690e9eac1 gone. He heard about his b9c071b61c uncle, the abuse he a58670ae86 suffered, and how he fe035cdf37 had nothing left.7fef65370384cb10

Then he realized that 69eaec3a6c he had never told 79b266302b anyone about this. And he also realized b3d4c74070 that he wanted to af6d1d0916 tell someone.d5b5d6912910cb27

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“It’s best not to tell others about this. Their view of you would change.”aa92bd304073700e

That was her initial e5fe7e8763 reaction.c9f53d398682d767

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“Don’t trust others. I’m probably the only one who wouldn’t care about hearing this.”737e1953be0f3274

They’ll despise and mock you. They’ll pretend to sympathize and be nice, but only on the surface. Cha Eunseo whispered so.e2192b31b2100168

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“Are there others like you?”f5d19301b6f11456

“Well, there might be. But can you find them?”db6f2009f042de08

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Her sweet f859d2b116 voice said. The only person 21ded8e0c9 to trust was 067f7fd0ae her.3d22b156f9b6c928

“What are you going to do now?”3a05f4548582069c

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“I… don’t know. Everything’s just annoying.”d0fe420c9d4a4bd3

“You don’t really want to live, huh?”372f9d00e806bcca

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Cha Eunseo 3f36af81b5 pondered for c88f069d23 a moment 6a0af59b2e before making 08fa06635f a new 397299a6e9 suggestion.49c2758ccf5a0c29

“Then let’s die.”ea007d82e06c24e2

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She said e32950a700 this with 316f493008 a bright b51bcefb23 smile.6d8cfa4500569d7d

“And be reborn.”639cf0ee3e83303c

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“What?”e7256241f673a238

“Think of yourself as a new person. Let’s start by changing your name.”86258504299fd647

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“…Does it have meaning?”76b04799528d725a

“Try it first, it’ll feel different.”03cd310dec51b6ae

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On the spot, they made up a new name. Taking one character from his mother’s and father’s names, they created ‘Sihyeon’. Cha Eunseo said it was good.8c965fd0db1dc38e

“Let’s take our time with the name change application, Sihyeon.”44f2242169a90028

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Being called a different 8e9d354e08 name suddenly felt strange.46377f9618828142

“Say your name five times.”7c2c6c90b0212731

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“…Ryu Sihyeon.”6a87d387de843411

Ryu Sihyeon, Ryu Sihyeon, b0f0dc44cc Ryu Sihyeon.1fa5b306f57fda31

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Ryu Sihyeon…bf7b484ef73738ba

Ryu Seongwoo 40c1416a34 was a d975ae80d6 person he 0ca2c0541f never wanted a29d6b224a to be 75d69d8dd3 again. He had just killed c0ef52f15c off Ryu Seongwoo. And there was a 13d2282337 beautiful accomplice to testify dd4ed6e846 to that death.fdc9504341d3cc48

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Anyway, Ryu b7a508c446 Seongwoo was f21f70ef41 nothing. No one b0a2151380 would notice aa28962436 if he d28054cf78 disappeared. So it was okay.3f8fb614909a30bc

While thinking this, he 3f5e7fcf5f stared blankly at the 78def96881 table, and a pile f38e31b09e of bound papers came 3611477b57 into his view. Looking up d4d05fcf20 at Cha cf24cfa6d4 Eunseo, she de54876716 spoke.a2231c564d7be16a

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“I came here because of this today.”7912066bdbfb1445

“What is this?”cbbc8a8229fcf485

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“A script.”6aaf74bb54e07346

He picked it up blankly. On the cover of the script, the title was written in large letters: <Life and Death>. Life and death.537261f97fef575f

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“It’s a senior’s work from school, and they’re looking for someone to play the lead. The image they’re looking for is similar to yours.”7c0bc741d4a4108b

In the 4f29ff6f5a café where 7bddc0753c music was c338bde691 playing, there a6cdba4f18 were hardly 12fd0d1f51 any people 377ef2300f other than ba5006d422 himself and a8f4d324fb Cha Eunseo. Sihyeon began 7fa1d16de9 to read 1474bf98fe the script. The main character, Jo a40d2ca3e7 Yuseong, was a despicable 6acb2b0468 scoundrel. However, at his 106f9d9abe core, he was 6dd4a2213b someone who craved 62264de366 affection. Having never received proper 70898fca1f love, he unconsciously yearned a9caef793d for it. Suddenly, he 580b9b4ee9 finds himself 982e82b56a raising a a5c679396e child, and 4295185d49 his desire 5549b47c38 for affection 7fa2862503 transforms into d002941102 dedication to d29028f629 the child.9a2138e9341a3381

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The music playing in the café felt alien. This work was not so romantic and calm. Jo Yuseong’s life was like that.a843b25ba8d316d3

“Does this kind of content become popular?”d214b5c24c549a45

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“Critics love this sort of thing. They go crazy for other people’s misfortunes.”26ff4be0360d7dc9

“I see.”14b532941ed87774

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Certainly, Jo Yuseong was 1c41a85012 an unfortunate person. Nonetheless, whether b090620673 as Ryu 4fd44a281c Seongwoo or 13a5b54084 Ryu Sihyeon, 57249ed943 his life 0c248ec15f was better 5c963f345a than mine. The fact that 228c5dcaca he had someone 7626a604d8 to pour his e96410bc24 affection into was 619531bf36 different from me. Also, his a94af94bab desire to e59e59a9e4 be a 8d7bfa54b6 good person, b52a9d6165 at least 47a98a4c6a for his d830c861e3 child.3571f3ce3468cabf

“Rumor has it they haven’t found an actor they like for this role. I want you to do it.”cae53d8cbfda5777

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“Why?”48a07b645c81d4d8

“I want to get closer to that senior through you.”1b8e4c8cce417b67

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“Is he famous?”51da4d0d860f3cf2

“Sort of, in our department. He’s going to become even more famous. All the short films he’s made have gone to Cannes and Berlin. People say he could be the next Jung Youngwoo.”4b9efb4087a3d8a7

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Not knowing who Jung Youngwoo was, he just responded with an ‘Ah.’ Cha Eunseo then asked, “You don’t know?”96d609d05a19d9f1

“He won the Palme d’Or at Cannes last year.”88fb497202d32d67

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“Oh, I see.”29f0681abc92be3f

Wanting to 6ed51c438b convince him 2e6545d267 due to 3f6a80b6ac his lack 9a52608b10 of reaction, 00d3eaa3ed Cha Eunseo db5ecabc0e said seriously:42a2de2a6fd4ac17

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“Let’s do this. I’ll help you prepare everything.”6825b607e078bd05

“How will you help?”0b44dea98cae4d6e

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“I’ve got a lot of time since it’s vacation. Let’s prepare for the audition together. Aren’t you lonely being by yourself anyway?”9b10f56ee89b268a

…Lonely?ece48b23102c5609

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He had never thought 849be95732 about it until now. To be precise, he d3a7c29e3a never had the luxury 966739b347 to think about it.d55c22b1cd07f3d9

But after 182987d13c encountering Jo 5da08cd40d Yuseong, a fbeea77298 character who 966e78c1f6 craved affection 30129cdc81 and had 5a2bbda526 emotions, things 6d4cd7d0c1 changed a b0392a7bd7 bit. Comparing, even if 3646112069 both were at a922ee3f89 rock bottom, Ryu 35e297fcb0 Sihyeon was more 876d81fefa of a hollow 88ac792201 person.2fb620da173863fb

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“I need that senior. I’m curious about how he directs, and he said he’d give good feedback on the script.”af11a00b44ac04b7

He felt Cha Eunseo’s gaze on him. He couldn’t refuse in front of those eyes. He had always relied on Cha Eunseo’s help.c6f456e47665fe29

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“Talented people like you might not understand, but some people would sell their souls to the devil for talent. That’s how I feel right now. So…”006e0d4ca70252a4

With a beautiful smile, 03c759b2fd she said:9e8d7f155f2abc0c

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“Think of this as repaying a debt. Let’s live as Jo Yuseong for a while.”21102d25673a6bb4

Just then, de00036d9f the café c0377310ed staff brought 063199e597 over the 2582dd1b7f ordered drinks. Cha Eunseo 4a85308781 had ordered 73623c8d60 another one 70e94e33c3 for Sihyeon 0828e433a4 to eat c82c764d8a well. Watching Sihyeon 0ba50fdb9b taste the 7a09f00f6c whipped cream 9b7eb37c02 on top d5f745fdce of the 71f0744077 drink, she becf39314b said:4f86f2a2f3570fe5

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“Jo Yuseong’s life is definitely better than yours, right?”a6c77c572f86059e

✦✦✦8384ea9262ccea22

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He met Director Lee 0299806b4a Changhyeok that autumn.72c6d01ca2af0d3f

He liked Sihyeon at first sight. “This is exactly the feeling I was looking for,” he said. Soon after, he asked for a reading and then a handshake, saying “I’m looking forward to working with you.”a9cbb622c7173535

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Is this it? Sihyeon was slightly taken aback. Could something in life be this easy? This didn’t apply to either Ryu Sihyeon or Jo Yuseong.0491c6558011a3e6

“Mr. Ryu Sihyeon.”0f2e55a8c53767cf

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“Yes.”cc5c193d7cff1a35

He had quickly adapted to the new name, but being called “actor” was still unfamiliar.7cf7dd00b618bfdd

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“Do you swear a lot?”14da50f5a011e875

“Ah, yes.”a13c6c37ac085b62

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He mimicked his uncle’s way of saying “Shut up, you piece of shit” from the script. He received applause from the assistant director beside him. Sihyeon tried to smile like a sociable person. Cha Eunseo had taught him he should smile like that.9b7639a5e130461f

He met eyes f2f0ddb0f8 with Director Lee dfe88faff5 Changhyeok in front b3442f607f of him. He was someone who 748d10ad07 smiled very quietly.d41150b90ec58926

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This man created Jo Yuseong. He thought so. Jo Yuseong’s wretched life, crude language, and his longing for affection – all of it came from this calm person’s mind. That was very strange.0fdca3c24964a5c7

✦✦✦21a344ffd6a4a8b1

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After finishing the funeral and returning from the hospital, the sun was already setting. The new agency and the newly rented house were about the same size as the old one. However, it was cleaner and felt more like a home. Normally, Sihyeon would have followed the doctor’s advice not to remain listless. He might have cleaned the house and cooked dinner. They said lying down doing nothing, like before, was poison for depression.e2ea2e54ede71f46

But today, he didn’t feel like doing any of that. There was no particular reason to live. Even taking medication felt like a miracle.a381297f5e2af940

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He turned on 03094d31a6 the TV and 49a27da146 randomly flipped through 9e1b768d26 channels, stopping at c097e84437 one broadcasting late-night a5f0f55496 news.f5d60ee16753f4c6

“Director Lee Changhyeok, whose film <Life and Death> was invited to this year’s Toronto International Film Festival…”a7c337ff22864f68

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Sihyeon blankly stared 3b88acc991 at the screen. The portrait photo he bfd7f4e98a had seen in the ce99f10e91 afternoon was used on 3d4b75c348 the news. Even in 991967abae that photo b8bd540581 taken during 8446cb93b6 his lifetime, d638f42d42 Lee Changhyeok a6cd3ea166 was smiling 44612845a2 quietly. He never smiled more f2b34f76c5 than that.a3ccb01de51f9dae

He hoped he didn’t suffer much at the moment of his death. He wished that in heaven, he would not be sad, depressed, or unhappy.5d53535d4ff5dfd9

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He turned off the TV and played some random classical music on his phone. Today’s music was a piano piece by Liszt. He remembered; Lee Changhyeok had told him to listen to classical music when he felt anxious.77cdeee250c9b4b6

“You must feel a great sense of loss from losing someone close.”c46a683952b57582

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The doctor had said 0406d368e1 that today.2ed60f2142cf39c9

“It would be good to go out to gatherings, make friends, and focus on social activities.”7edb6244b4af2c98

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But he had no friends. He didn’t know how to attend gatherings if he were to go. He had no hobbies. All that was left was his social life.0e85b6265628095f

Since he had become an actor… does social life mean he should be shooting something?3da4cd1740653d19

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As with <Life and Death>, he didn’t do well in auditions. He had shot a few commercials, but with the short scripts for auditions, he didn’t know what to do. So, he always did poorly in auditions.961b94626f125d9f

Lost in dc14e9ad9c thought, his 1aaf45fab8 phone rang, c1e6a1c19c and he c6e475f038 answered. Naturally, it was his 6f48100a80 manager.b0cd8473ba0f92ce

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“Sihyeon.”118a4a2a6e19b999

“Yeah.”00688792a08c30bf

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“When you filmed <Life and Death>, did you agree to appear in anyone’s work?”fdfd45f883302d48

“Um… maybe? They asked, and I couldn’t say no.”ae1ad130d6044870

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“A man I met at the funeral keeps contacting me, saying you should appear in his work. It’s supposed to be a web drama.”75a630e29237980f

“Oh, really?”f70e2a8247dad44b

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“It’s kind of ridiculous… but you don’t have any schedule now. Want to do a meeting at least?”41ab73dbed342fde

“Yeah, sure. I don’t mind.”e7670b06470c6287

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Since doing something would help keep depression at bay. Though he didn’t think doing something would lead to making friends.6be7510bd287f30a

During the filming of <Life and Death>, he didn’t get close to anyone. He didn’t even have a phone then. With Cha Eunseo between him and the other staff, there weren’t long conversations. Every time they chatted casually, he would say he’d agree to appear, but it was almost always lip service. Back then, he didn’t think he’d keep acting.a1b4b75a3bd9ef0d

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Still, he had 7b6f81b4ff learned one thing b3b887284d well. How to d3bbf41f29 pretend to 218c0a07fc smile brightly 3b350797d6 like an 78e079624a ordinary person 6f889683c9 and act a68d2112ec socially. He did as 261e86bfed he was told, d4547c4d2a listened well to f210c0c9c8 others, and followed cf3364110d their words. Cha Eunseo had told 576de36445 him to do so, a62a961905 and at that time, 6114abfc1a she was the only b816eefcf3 person he could trust.bf5e0bfdd1474d82

“I thought so at the time.”e972c2c630a6ab66

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Today, Sihyeon told 509206c0cf the doctor more.ab81b90993670c0b

After the b7cf29ae3a filming ended, c3303a94f4 Cha Eunseo 8cdd220e5f no longer 093d80f1d8 needed Ryu 559395e38c Sihyeon. She went 0a3f9cd275 back to 7e6673fea9 school, and 9b8b5f1fc1 Sihyeon was 369731dc25 left alone 94ba649e83 in the 613e53b069 house he 72c0a8fb3e had always af15687a17 lived in.01097f1d3a875167

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He became anxious at the realization that no one was looking for him or needed him, just like before. He wasn’t like this originally. He was fine being alone and didn’t wish for anything. He was just living a life that was dying away. So why did it turn out this way?a62111fb0500a9a9

Something was wrong. He had e18171dd49 learned to 28d8d28b77 groom his 329c320034 exterior and 2880757fb5 wear a e5f77c8f0a facade to ff37ffb2e7 blend in 3db0167869 with people, 65b90d9940 but his 45b88d0099 empty interior 36d960321c was never a932379b09 filled. Somehow, he 7c119af7ce had expected d111111e6d Cha Eunseo 2a597a4503 to fill b6e53bb892 that void.13246d6e4286ae70

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He shouldn’t have expected that.9d4601fbfbf2af10

“Don’t be too disappointed. Some people don’t like forming deep relationships. They find it comfortable that way. Don’t take it too personally.”093a14715bb429d6

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That’s what the doctor said today.880ef0ec993a8770

“Yes, I think it’s like that.”d5a4a8d5a970080b

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After thinking for a f987f54d76 moment, Sihyeon added:46f55a4c55c1a358

“It must be easier to handle people like me that way. If you get too close, you end up being sincere.”cf6813152c3f0d9f

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“Then you just need to meet someone who isn’t like that.”a838d65651ae4c7c

“Can I meet someone like that again?”997becea3334bb61

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Cha Eunseo had said he couldn’t meet someone like that. And indeed, it seemed that way until he got close to Lee Changhyeok.0c8e7c6210898b09

Sihyeon recalled his former self, who was alone again. It was one of those days after <Life and Death> ended when he was barely living in the empty house. The doorbell rang. Unlike before, he quickly opened the door. At that moment, he seemed to be waiting for someone to come.d2434bddaaf4b38b

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The visitor was Director d77914a5c6 Lee Changhyeok.d16d04cc59ad5816

“Are you alone?” he asked. Sihyeon answered:c4437bf9ebcbc47e

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“I’m always alone.”0f839a73b5c660ae

He replied in a low, flat tone. At the time, he didn’t even have the energy to act friendly like he did outside. Yet, Lee Changhyeok didn’t find it strange.2b9f6f3f40b0569d

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He never knew how 3705143a23 to hide his fragile 46c27d8ccd self. Nor did he feel 96ad43beb4 out of place with 27db578041 the true nature of c8ec2a0689 a depressed person. His intentions to 699e1812d7 help Sihyeon with cd1e495c1c various things were d0cb815f6f genuinely pure. He was 10cda51fb4 even ten f772fafd21 years younger 100e29586f than Sihyeon, 5db5ccb706 yet he 3e4bf6e551 was concerned cbc7dcd9f4 for him. Sihyeon wondered if it a577dd6a08 was okay for someone d1fb7343cf like him to live a82af338d9 in this harsh world 80626c8f19 like that.a2b4067eb8777bb7

Thinking about it… he ultimately didn’t survive.431a83057b766889

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✦✦✦f912e1de4373e2a5

The person from P University who directly contacted the company was a fourth-year student who had been the script supervisor for <Life and Death>. The web drama he mentioned seemed like an amateur work that had received small funding from somewhere. Comparing it to the feature film <Life and Death> made it feel even more so. Not knowing much about these things, Sihyeon looked at his manager, who seemed to have no particular thoughts.3aceb959fdf39d75

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The director 0f5a383b86 told Sihyeon:72cca28e77c8eb66

“Mr. Actor, the trend is the internet! To match the film’s release! I will first boost your popularity.”a174b3770d1d8b9f

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“Oh, okay.”1a110a3e3bbc7165

“Here’s the script.”6b2e53e935894c02

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“…Okay.”12d683a5b8208a56

“Of course, you’ll be paid. It’s a small role, so don’t feel burdened. I won’t take up much of your busy schedule. Just consider it something special.”de9dc8350276687c

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“Yes.”75fe9338a5b12737

Noticing Sihyeon’s skeptical expression, the director said confidently:6abacfa89d18d7bb

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“I will make you famous like Seo Heetae, starting with your face.”abe2d2459736ee90

“Ah, Seo Heetae, ha ha, okay.”cf59789840fbcac8

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It was fascinating be242fe2e7 to think he 98053c6ea4 might be placed 93c4e342f7 on the same 70c2b9679e level as that 25f0284300 name he had 29385beed7 only heard about. He had heard a1174c2521 Seo Heetae first 596628822d became famous on 0a2e4e1bd2 the internet. Sihyeon briefly recalled 8c738ae99d the face he dde01262ff had seen on 9cc26bc0f5 TV or in 8e6e1648d8 ads.2e1d17963195ef90

His straight, 0f91b3ac92 high nose 7085982ff8 bridge, three-dimensional 02a9642716 facial structure, 7503cb6e95 and the d14d8a3601 gentle curve e5b7a17795 of his 927f009d22 lips. He had a cool 06ab75b13e yet intense dark brown ef91380ba9 gaze that left an 1d7cb209a0 impression. Even others 6306ed7d22 would agree 7fb33fc3f0 he was 9ba84de3a5 handsome.6ebaddbe98f3a578

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Glancing at his manager Cheoljoo, it seemed he had already been swayed by the director’s eloquence. For a company without a prominent lead actor, the promise to make their actor ‘famous’ must have been sweet.47456aac6b2a698b

The work 2d23ddac7a progressed at cdabe4340f an unrealistically 7e976670b0 fast pace. Before he knew it, a334580e6b Sihyeon was sitting in 2732a13e5a a conference room at b6e957efa5 P University, waiting for e86dcba78c his turn to read.318b742b393faec9

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The tall c1743d899f lead actor, 6e8b1ced9d who was 37ad2051ff still studying 8bcf08dd6b at P 6c9c6b31cf University, came 69c1372442 in last. Although he was 5e565b02f8 expressionless, he was 45ede8e256 more approachable than 861076edc8 Sihyeon had anticipated 69f39a1f75 from his first a0c62e607e impression. He even greeted 8b9749166a Sihyeon who was b9ebeeb67f sitting next to 3fec3d2329 him.f2429ac5b168dc30

That was Gi Yoonhyung.47defe7be428814a

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Gi Yoonhyung, a student in the Media Department at P University, had been cast as the lead after catching the director’s eye while walking on campus. Sitting there with a nonchalant face, he asked Sihyeon various things, admitting he didn’t know much about acting.7a6809b17f3431a7

After the reading, they a393df0dd9 exchanged numbers almost by e31950bdff accident. This was the first 21bc3fc340 time Sihyeon had exchanged eaa2e05944 contacts with someone his d04c40339d age since getting a 7664310a29 new phone.2617c983c6f0738b

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Later, Yoonhyung asked to practice acting, so they met up a few times for meals. Conversations flowed naturally. Yoonhyung said he was acting because the director kept bothering him. He scoffed at the director’s claim that he would become famous with this. Seeing that, Sihyeon couldn’t help but laugh. He said he actually felt the same, finding it strange and new to share his true feelings with someone he didn’t know well.c456f25301553a55

Yoonhyung met Jinoh, a 353120b4fc classmate he had become d301a697ad friends with during liberal 7d31efb754 arts classes, again on 624f72a066 the set. Jinoh, who was in 837054b76f the directing department, had fbad308a37 a friend named Jaeseong 2f8d72e068 in the production department. Including Sihyeon, the four ecee30bef4 of them naturally became 8ff847312a friends. Or more accurately, Sihyeon 18d980d211 was swept up by 5d12c80d5f the three sociable ones a051762e4a and ended up fitting 2158b304c0 in.d6eb932cfa2d0b45

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How did it happen so naturally? Sihyeon was bewildered himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he had made friends like this. For the first time, he drank with friends and watched movies with them.0c52b442235d2fb7

“Our Sihyeon got friends.” His manager was thrilled about this fact alone. His manager knew Sihyeon as a pitiful child who had lost his parents at a young age, took care of his grandmother without making friends or going to college, and made a living through part-time jobs before dramatically starring in a promising director’s film.b296cbe5d1c14c94

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To think that Sihyeon was contacting ‘friends’, drinking with ‘friends’, and spending weekends with ‘friends’! He was almost moved to tears.f0e02bb4dd5dcd9c

“Isn’t it great that your friends are so good-looking, kind, and from good universities? Good for you, Sihyeon.”16e5f2f0e976a7f2

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Every time the manager repeated this, Sihyeon felt somewhat pleased. Of course, that friendship wasn’t entirely sustained.721dc0c9c009043d