WYIL Ch 6

And if, really, even if this is a book I’ve read.ca9d65732198ad62

‘I may be mistaking the contents of the book.’be4fedd764691eb9

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How can 6b51fe8daa I remember ac016de420 the memories e304d9624b of my 8451c480f7 past life 34f270e114 easily, when 435a534a6d the memories 2fd202f966 from just 32c3a20d27 a few 264e2a4601 years ago dc27c4f1b8 are blurred.94b4c561207c53c5

No matter how much I liked a book and read that a dozens of times, I can’t possibly remember all of its contents.6615c93d21848ab1

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Maybe Aslan wasn’t the male lead, and his wife, me wasn’t an extra who had to leave when the female lead appeared.b9a5d3138e411a7e

When I f381afc56a faced Aslan, d85292bccd who regarded 2191ae45a6 me as e4ca5eed29 his wife, f5315b4121 such hope d5913df030 rose.d8c20eaccb1e8fe0

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The hope that maybe I’ll be with him for the rest of my life…….5956bb1d465edb83

There were certainly days 13be5a747b when that hope was 35f6609d9d shattered.1141c9db0e547942

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For example, when I was told that I did not have to do the Duchess’s job.df13cc4a9f70ac6c

[I did not marry you to make you do this.]

He probably started persuading 8e0fbd32c1 me not to work 8b446cfdc8 because we were married f8d7076eaf on a three-year contract.609a1e9fc82c59fc

[It’s been a long time without the hostess and there’s never been a problem. It’s all thanks to Dalton’s good work. So why don’t you leave it up to him in the future?]

I knew how capable and loyal Dalton was. Also, he did his best by performing the role of hostess for several years without anyone’s notice.2d9ad25d0e24811c

[You have a weak body, so it is better for you to not overdo it. It’s better to stay away from these headaches and spend your time only doing the things you want to do.]

To Aslan, who repeatedly encouraged me with a soft voice , I couldn’t keep insisting that I wanted to do it.34ddbccc9acc8f24

That’s what happened in the first year of our marriage.e8a9f17cd5cedfaa

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From then until now, dc1b80d3b9 I am the Duchess b26ab33546 of Tordell and also dddd573781 in a way not f55437d4ae the real Duchess of aca6ef4c79 Tordell.590bb5e9d94155ab

It was not possible to respect a duchess who did not have the right to decide the family’s affairs and did not fulfill their responsibilities.2f89fffa0d97fa8c

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A half ae6c90c6ff piece that b6a4d07b96 only serves 9c9fecdd26 its purpose 8a195a89d4 when it 000f15ab6a is attached 3d082cfd91 to the 2a2066aa4d Duke of 6a851c3995 Tordell, like f836b435d1 an ornament.ef134c0e25a7caa8

Everyone was so talkative c5019d7a13 about it both inside bc748ccc15 and outside.7043ce466fe06291

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No one regarded me as the true Duchess of Tordell, who had neither responsibility nor rights. Even I wasn’t able to consider myself as one.9ec6e310658ceddb

I couldn’t tell Aslan that I was fine and wanted to work.11a665df1366e49a

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I will not be a part of the Tordell family forever, and will leave in three years. So obviously he won’t be able to entrust me with important family affairs.c86cbd34994abd6f

I understood everything in my head. So it made me feel even more smaller. Do I really deserve to be by Aslan’s side, or should I leave him quickly?583709c31215b392

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Whenever a similar thing happened, my self-esteem dropped, and before I knew it, I crouched down and became an idiot person who couldn’t even say what I wanted to say.5acf573d1b70c0bd

Nevertheless, why I have been able to hold on to so far, was ironically because of Aslan’s attitude toward me.da18411d8a19beb1

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[You don’t have to ask me. You are the Duchess of Tordell.]

He said this d88a9c0dd1 as if it 88f5ce68ed were natural.beee0322e0039e89

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[All the things that belong to me are yours too, so feel free to use it.]

I was confused.c0037375d2200b6f

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Whether he really considers e96316484c me his wife or 262cda6500 not.b75595af5af565e9

Can I be 8b25b599b9 greedy to be 5bb3f0a1c7 with him forever, a8268e13b4 or not.7d2e6b698fb5b4b4

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But when c8af9d37a9 Rosalyn came 31048f99e0 to the 3b69feea3f mansion.be0ea6d67eb896e6

The time stopped, 2d0deefb78 and I could 0190cbac50 see her shining ae058486c4 brightly.fa51eb982bb705f1

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I realized.db49cba2e9fb6fc4

This really is a edf3681edc world in the novel ef381d5b89 I read.213f8401a64f5857

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Such a beautiful 7d21b72518 woman, a woman f0701ecd94 who gets the 5a190ee754 attention of the 54a97dc207 whole world even e3557e0c1b when she stands 3c58909803 still, is the 4c3a0dad9b main character of 440e434f76 this world.ed88bbb3399aca7a

And standing c501c964a1 next to 3ede29d231 her, Aslan, 0ba38098e5 who is 0294e98f99 right now f4ab554aaa my husband… 415a431286 … .42dabe89549600f1

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‘They looked good 8ce4690e1f together.’f415a1de874d78f9

The scene e29e16fb86 where Aslan 3fe5f172e0 got out cd47861291 of the cf803fb163 carriage first 5bb5e2bf06 and reached 9da9e2d296 out his 561945f1de hand to b8c62f8ab3 escort Rosalyn c57b622af9 was as 7637bce135 beautiful as cd408ae7fa if a ae1966c791 scene from 9dec16e2de a novel.b068d35b769f7b87

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And the ea8f58678a two who 3706323dc6 looked at 348ac3cdfb each other 38a3422fc4 seemed like 6e6c9e2171 a perfect 6ed58cdb95 pair with 9d0b9cf289 no room 3b14a0b840 for anyone 6d8a8d3e5d to interfere.8435f705c4ed8040

Staring blankly from f0781aa1b7 behind, I remembered 99cebe71c5 the promise I afd781d955 had made when 9f96fc868f I signed the 87e684a491 marriage contract with 98b334b242 Aslan.a11944b350a8f45a

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‘This is not my 539a2faa2c place, so when the 9710dfbf75 time is right, I 36354d280a will leave quietly.’911ccfcbe9426561

Because the 6c4f6c0ce8 main character d81a1ef640 must have 9de7694251 the role a29590c8ff of the 5bfb0be3a1 main character, fb76f0cbef and the da7a85ae90 role of 2a432f7cee the extra 0f466ac6fb must exist cab869d195 for the dfb2602577 extras.d794547b28ed111b

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But I never knew 9a8fff2547 it would be today.66e8603b1f3593d9

“Miss Rosalyn.”d2a8e6a50850cae4

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It was a familiar 521cd38458 voice that grabbed my 140aec6b21 ankle as I was a0d1e86561 about to return to 9738bb7d1c my room.13642747754e82d9

It was not a dd5ab16503 loud voice, but it f8557cc636 was clearly heard by 58fef29704 me in the quiet 4c0dcadc32 air.b58d20eb66017952

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My heart beat c111dd26b5 fast at the 70387379f7 low, heavy, pleasant cd77576517 voice.96aec66ff601c693

Because the owner of a5bffb929c the voice is Aslan. And because the guy 49cfafb0f8 he called was none 336094241d other than Rosalyn.585fd86eaa640ad0

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“I don’t know what the hell you’re imagining, but you seem to be mistaken.”2d538988872b4c78

He was saying b6c5edf273 something to Rosalyn.68a3b4f7ebce3d77

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Very close to 8622a52bc9 where I was 208779d0b6 standing, maybe right f000aeea78 behind this wall.88733ed66fe872d1

Without realizing it, 69d7612880 I listened to 8f86f91006 the voice that 73eee55e53 came breathlessly.2ad7f1317a3a9d3d

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Aslan, who 205a15b54a had been 6828d2e144 silent for 3ff7abffa8 a while, e524816521 opened his e18b9558f9 mouth again.03c9eab9c7271b89

“Yes, I didn’t marry my wife because I loved her.”92f7dbff02c7aab4

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Ah.76b46fd0be21b6ed

My lips 5db2f97303 opened automatically. The tips of bb1fb552b7 my fingers trembled 954395dd76 finely.b14db2d3b362a43c

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There was f89da31368 no reason b78541209b to be 5ced4f3fe5 shocked. Because everything ecd9917dcd he said 420233e3c9 was true.492cfb13d85533c0

That was absolutely right. We didn’t marry because of love. It was something that I knew very well.e8e498c0ae59e25f

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Still, the reason why d8b85c6d48 my head hurts as 53849110e8 if I had been e78755a39b hit with a hammer b581dd2b84 is probably because I 532fa26677 was wondering why and af0a3f36d7 to whom was he 556d6bf4d1 telling it.ccc92dec80d7c395

Yeah, I think so.4b64c2482379b5b9

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Without realizing it, I moved my body. This was because my heart, which felt as if someone cut it by a sharp blade, kept on urging me to see if it’s really Rosalyn.561ef4bb665b337c

As I tilted 1604dfab0e my head, I 78c4b3fcc4 saw a man 1f6c394af6 and woman standing 3565428116 tall in a eace567573 secret space with 5c620bd4d0 no one around.236a8d0a0d8a2eb1

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Expectations didn’t go wrong. It was Aslan and Rosalyn who were talking.dedea70fb0665a18

Standing close together ff0b2af819 against the fresh a651d2a30c garden, the two 4d2b105103 really looked good.f0ebb2a2d070ae90

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Delicate and colorful appearance, faab986ff3 two beautiful people like 7044bb905b flowers.8c213222d280d4b3

It was completely different from Aslan and me, who felt like a puzzle piece that didn’t fit together.092b0111d6da19b9

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I looked 62dfe470ea at the c62b3d2601 two in 73677627f4 disarray, feeling 944d30b647 a terrible 7a1f439e80 sense of 8d34ae71c8 defeat.452803e6dc4ff12d

My heart ached at 84bd523bdd the sight of the 1879cb8f77 two lovers who seemed b16e43253a to be close.84a7e1a3353273ab

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And the 4939456a04 following words 047b45662d of Aslan 05497a988e made me 8ac3e7bc14 miserable.551b19b1387c4973

“I just signed a contract with her out of necessity.”3048d369e561d34d

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I stopped fa90684868 breathing for 4d4058fbe4 a moment.089f2f85f198e8c7

I don’t know what I just heard. I was confused.cba9b7281dab76e6

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But I realized it f59dfac0aa instinctively.7189515112aaf15f

‘He’s telling her the truth about our marriage, the contract.’87972efec2147e7a

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How did he come 642a42c573 to say such a 9c2286721c thing?19052a08285ef3e2

I thought they weren’t close yet, but in fact, they had become close enough to confide in a secret that we had never told anyone?dd3a7ac05cd74afb

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I stood f2f7008c1f still and 9a9651bacb listened to eb44ebe94d what he 30fc7520b3 had to d805222116 say to 082b8576bc Rosalyn.db0f9e1e5e461ff3

A confused head, ff8931305b as if it 8d9844eb1c had been bombed, 628fa7b9f7 made various assumptions.065bed1d1b153ae6

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‘I didn’t hear the previous conversation.’3ee61db0c7ec4ad5

I didn’t know the context of the conversation. I just overheard their conversation.70560c685429deab

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‘Maybe I’m misunderstanding something.’552c60b2e2336cb4

It’s quite possible. I thought so and listened again to Aslan and Rosalyn’s voice, which I couldn’t hear properly.b1523f3f2f0da756

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In retrospect, I eb157e08f2 should have left 1df46c4bcb then.e2d59d531ee7b2b0

My heart 4595d80632 has become 4d7ccdf39e a mess 9f46a4b3b1 anyway, so 973fb94c25 I should 16d37d9518 have just 92a108af49 left without c1666632da having any 97793d14d9 vain hopes.92ae8e64dd7cbcd9

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Then I wouldn’t have been sad enough to want to die.e7d8c3199ac4197a

I didn’t know that he would say anything more shocking than this, so I stood there stupidly.5e3459aadac217d5

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I wanted to a539b0f3e2 know more about e62ec2ba84 his sincerity towards 356058d1bf me.dd99a61db0d726af

Even though it was a painful truth, I didn’t want to accept it and acted like a fool.951521fa0a5b6550

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It was pathetic. Trying to sneak a b0d3aa8962 peek at his feelings dcf69b7e9e for me.2807621bb7736e8d

I heard Aslan’s voice again in my ear.7b30e2db7f26e23a

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“I didn’t know it would last this long. ……It’s annoying.”5813d1ef0abcd4a9

His voice 6ef73265ef exhaled with 14920c3e9d a sigh f05e049d9a was too 772d892a01 exhausted to 175b2c59e3 be heard 8459815a3b from afar.d2af3892bb14bec8

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So my 0369278e72 heart sank c6610b93bc as I 296b863ee2 was eavesdropping.1829641338d10a97

I grabbed the throbbing 12b56e8684 chest and exhaled slowly.c7d4e4e89f8189f6

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Maybe it 1c743d1f16 was because 79cd4b67e5 I was 51c81d0641 so nervous, 39075fd068 my nerves 09490cf472 stood up 5288b8872c and my aacd84238d senses became cff201fefe more sensitive.fd6cb2e8912e0b1a

I could 85ab736e4d feel my 0cfe94ab6d breathing, my 744b82134e heartbeat, and 40c36c34f4 even the 73f35b9bf6 sound of ba9aa99968 swallowing dry 9ab9268418 saliva. To the 65d6ec3444 extent that 0994df3008 I was ece87608c8 worried that 2b01c9125f I might fba402fe29 be heard 6dd76654b6 by those 86186bfd23 far away.174485810e5dd174

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……I’ll be miserable enough to want to die right away if I get caught eavesdropping on their conversation.23a5574a6dde134e

Leaning against 71d2c67dcc the wall c7006611ee to avoid 5f2810f27c falling down, 5002986824 I nervously 0b49d83221 focused on c438353cbc the audible 38f92a9f8a sound.7f2cfa5e98320e6f

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Fortunately, they didn’t seem to know I was here. Seeing that I can’t hear the footsteps approaching me.cf6fcf23054b7826

It was Rosalyn who aa1a1a132a cleared the momentary blank 9ac412763c in the space where 324528713c silence fell.b0c433798d0374b2

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“Oh… … .”b62ca1ad79444206

Rosalyn’s voice, as if saddened, pierced my heart.d4e401537d1dabc2

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It was heartbreaking to 02fbcbae34 see that I was 44a6b45521 a person who could 8542bea4a3 not bring any happiness 4f808f5bfc to Aslan.42c7630afebb16a6