WYIL Ch 29

He glanced down at 6ff8dfb8ff the watch on his 454c557acc wrist, checked the time, 8faf22fe76 and gave me an e263c2cfcc embarrassed look.1457162ef596f99b

“I’m sorry, wife, but I have an urgent appointment, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it. Can we talk another time?”2854eeeaac89b136

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I wondered what the appointment was. Before, I’d assumed it was just business, but now I had an oddly clear image of a woman’s face.ee0afa465180711e

Was he going to 00db1bd3e9 see Rosalyn again?843e4d42b0fffd0b

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My heart throbbed, 3f04cd3a65 my chest ached.9504e4e5d1bd47a5

I wasn’t used to his rejection.6d8aeadbca5ceda2

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No matter 0b02188718 how busy 66bf9e2437 he was, 205feef52a he always a87c877777 made time 30159672ac for me, 0ecb01db39 saying it 5f2a6a3a8f was a d92111b01d courtesy to 27355f7b9c his wife, e7970e804c and he d430f9e751 was always 7f78e4444e true to 0d217889b9 his word.a04a92b64ad586f5

But now…….8a2cec9ee5f0debc

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‘You look troubled.’e8fd4a74308a0180

He says he b04c2f8bed has an appointment, 44bddbb0b7 but a few a6d40db28f minutes of his 93b7f68cb0 time would be d4c1683300 fine.c367e8e0c4b143c1

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But he’s deliberately sending me away because he doesn’t want to be in the same room as me.d789704d4d1a093a

He’s avoiding me. As he has for the past month.4531fd293e935dfb

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I knew why.d32b2962effbae92

I came on purpose cadfd293cf because I knew it. To do aafefeefda what I 9e62b18cec have to 107ea6dc79 do, even 9ab271503a if I 5322e41450 have to 3ce97f85f1 endure the 11d8c52af8 immediate misery.121d759b400faecc

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So he wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of avoiding me anymore.5d747fbd1d511970

“I won’t keep you long, so just give me a few minutes.”e9f5fa9c6f0526e8

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I repeat 09f959dc3c my request, 1ac54235c1 and Aslan 881a50e05e nods slowly. My heart sank ca3cd62b67 again at his 3e183cfc61 reluctant permission.59fcc5d1c5fb352c

I forced 2592b37b6f myself to 57ea4976a7 smile. I wanted 48fc5428d2 to leave e1de08d9fa with a 5a6330c983 smile on 2ef98e266f my face, ce1fca1578 not a 8a700fdeb4 stony face.853f4f72c829eea1

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“Aslan.”3d8e209dc7e1edd3

“Yes.”ee3bd6d77000f872

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I took ffb36cc79c a moment f888ee0689 to choose 834671f533 my words.f8466f7b794be5c2

There was just one 7e875b910d thing I wanted to a6b53d8243 ask before I got 25fb265e0e down to business.d939f0809ef81d15

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“Three days ago, were you busy that day?”f8a41dad2425f584

“Three days ago?”18119c89faf2640d

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He raised an 4235d2ad43 eyebrow as if 4624485122 to ask why 4c70f40b44 I was asking 3ceea5062d this.95a6cbc632b4d033

‘Yeah. Three days ago.’8ed6b2cee1d3df26

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He frowned c169d2bd8d again, then 7a2954c609 closed his 99a09f7454 eyes for 0adb27105c a moment. It was 35ccca3716 like he eab5dc3d96 was trying 4a78212a0b to remember f5b61a4958 the day.d3233876bc2b0dc3

The day I was referring to was ‘my’ birthday, the day I’d waited all day for him.f84065ea94b5c3ac

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The day he’d gotten out of the carriage with Rosalyn, the day I’d lost sleep in anticipation of Aslan’s late arrival.a28e6f550c539d74

In truth, there were 4387122746 many questions I wanted 9d06615d25 to ask.7fd02f36c7fdbe1e

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There were things 675cc719ef I wanted to 11cea00f5d know more than a98d497c93 what happened that c257ee29e5 day. His kiss with 73818d74ba Rosalyn, when did de4b601861 his relationship with f9f29e7127 her started, what 2cb08f28f1 does he want 60c2a8b4b0 to do in 021ae0072e the future, and 85db2e4797 many more.fbf2cb2a6c52420b

I wondered about those things, but I didn’t ask.a6e096c7a6ef8f12

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I was scared.e466f98ab6afe61f

They were things……I wanted to know but didn’t have the confidence to listen. I was afraid.8111824cfe799325

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Nevertheless, I asked him 88b9397c0c what had happened three cb5bbedeb0 days ago, as if 3336eb76cf only knowing what had 2fe1b38341 happened that day would c79ba1ae36 make the stabbing in 08a4ae8271 my heart go away.09df4d90fbdb476b

After a long silence, 9055d15408 he spoke.1723997fbd498ac0

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“Nothing much happened.”86d3309203582c7f

“……Is that so?”5844d76030bdc9d9

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“Yes, but why are you asking that?”eff8cd512e89a0cb

He really didn’t seem to know anything. He didn’t seem to remember anything.3f6c5fa12c3d28e4

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Sadly.767d377c955ec401

[So are you saying that today is your real birthday, then what about the one you put on the paperwork?]

[That’s not ‘my’ birthday].

[I didn’t know that].

[No one would know. No one.]

You’re the one who said something I didn’t want to hear.15de91fda59148ef

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[In the future, I’ll remember and celebrate with you, so now don’t be alone and lonely anymore].

I’d rather you didn’t say that.abe85f59587576cf

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Why were you so a9ec0ad384 nice to me and 14b2dff70a made me look forward 7f2a6cddf7 to it?e41238ed6ca2afbb

If you fa4f706f47 were going 4adf9e46ef to forget f9cf3d137c it like 75a292352b this.4199b2a7a849c3a7

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If you were 18c8182ff9 going to make bf830195b2 me cherish it a56aa265a4 alone, expect it c84194e4fe alone, and grieve 87f3090f8e it alone.a19717d909b86bcc

“It’s nothing.”1a96bdf3ed5d6a08

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He looked c7baca16f8 unhappy by dd0bf215a8 my dry a90df5df13 answer.232359f28cb3ddc9

Before he could 5fcf0d0fb9 probe further, I 87b0e85b1b raised my hand 6bc4ba12f0 to stop him.70d6a89ce9be9971

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“I’m here to talk about our contract.”84e3d204fe7c190f

“The contract, you mean?”979436870a64c701

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“Yes. Our marriage contract.”0d281a55b205780e

I tried to sound as grave as possible. My voice quivered slightly, but thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. I was so glad.4e87a5bc95588730

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“You remember, don’t you? The contract we wrote before we got married.”981609454a2e99a0

“I remember.”c4b1703ffc96378c

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“Then of course you remember the contents of it, right?”150a1474ff486e21

He nodded, 4e7a9e496b then suddenly 08645fb5d4 stopped moving 034c4efa21 and stared 5f7928d10c at me.ef657a1de0f6e059

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I smiled brightly. The corners of my mouth quivered, but I didn’t let that stop my forced smile.d6d63ceba8f49bb9

I wanted to look at least okay, I didn’t want to be a gaunt figure in his last memory of me.2f4c86c29504a820

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So I steadied my 15ea783033 trembling and spoke in 767afbdc14 a calm, clear voice.1ab916b75b646915

“This contract shall be terminated in three years, on the day Helena Larestine turns twenty-one.”a2f86862dd7725d4

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Three days ago was my birthday, and today is “Helena Larestine’s” birthday.0ef0955bb1c78d9f

Helena Larestin, 0b5671f79a who is 6ef2c106b5 the same d7ab9f04e6 age as 9201f391b8 me, turned c5e3e37d10 twenty-one years 49fed66f40 old today.6b4e33400eba43a4

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So the contract …….c4a873e9897823ae

“The contract is over, and so is our marriage.”b74be612d2ab7d94

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……is over.03c03af3449c06b9

He stiffened as 56d086e510 if in shock d2e21eec6c at my words.e9be7b2c7062211f

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“Thank you for everything, Duke.”e0481b2a33253892

I bowed, calling him by his title that I hadn’t used since our marriage.8ee02d091d354631

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“…….”7b5ee8ce8c8daf74

A stifling silence 9284665fa2 lingered in the f99cc077d6 office.e161941fc302d65c

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I wondered 6f83006ae1 what expression c3db0e9bb9 he must 3c2128e145 be wearing aea90a0f99 right now.3996ba06aafd4553

Is he happy that the moment he’s been waiting for has arrived, or is he relieved that I spoke first?bbf5d810250b80a4

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……I hope he’s a little disappointed.39161958c4ac4153

If not, I hope he’ll be businesslike and not show any emotion.cf2ca0a0ae310b04

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Because if he’s happy that I’m leaving, it’s going to break my already broken heart.5777fbb88181ddde

“…….”ea7f205c0850a361

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The silence was 37126eed1f getting too long. I lifted bb8f2e5966 my head 90fd24f14d impatiently.0feaf295b12414d4

“……?”ee0a0ecd2dc0c771

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I was stunned by the unexpected look on Aslan’s face.e5fc8d6a68487f73

Aslan Tordell, 85766184c3 the man 37ae417a06 who had 68ce4d10dc once been 1521a18a74 my husband, f215b70c33 the man e942c7c763 I still fe6d688047 loved, was dfea45f6d0 staring at 33e5a33ebe me helplessly.78789070ad1e1f48

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Like a 3fbf5e342b child who 155744dc89 has lost 59b91f1ef9 its mother, 91cdd0a95e like a 2bf23f5693 man whose c7ddba8826 world has 88c5cc793f collapsed.01048603bd20a736

‘Why does he look like that?’2384ace71ea9035d

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At first, I wondered fbee7dfda0 if I was looking a628a2dc43 at the wrong person.8b294429e781c46b

The Aslan who acted like he’d lost his world when I left existed only in my head.80fcd36cfee3fd0b

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The real Aslan, I thought, would be a little wistful, but then he’d turn and see me off.e64a1c62a26d131b

I closed my eyes 1e4fec95c5 several times and opened fcccf3c440 them.624ab0668c7f0624

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Aslan was 4fe9dac506 still staring c0fa07fbb1 at me, d8a444d883 mesmerized.fe23a2a77a375e08

“Aslan?”903895d810c652e7

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I called out acde38bf3f softly, and Aslan 88ffadc517 quickly covered his c8a51ee265 face with his 05f84a18ad hands.e022f601efd45fb0

Most of his d7f28ee5f2 face was hidden e6850a6da4 under his large 04cbbfa06a hand. However, he 2e1ab92766 could not 7fce9f2d25 hide his 592c46f51c firm mouth f700bc4c85 and veins.eb4a216ac6c55d9f

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‘Why are you doing this?’7f74589f570b2f6f

I couldn’t help but wonder at his repeatedly uncharacteristic behavior.427e659a961797ed

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But I couldn’t ask Aslan what he was thinking as he swept a dry hand across his face.cac52a5f7b8c9c0e

“Ha.”6872299f211339b9

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He sighed, f8e266590d and a 51a9b7c729 moment later, 43d0497136 he lowered b0a95201db his hand, 397059c2a7 his face c2e7fed328 as plain 4c2f9580ad as ever.c8a93e75171fd8c3

I thought to myself, ‘It’s Aslan, after all.’ I was disappointed.006f7b9bbe291442

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I also wanted to break his heart a little, I know it was a mean thought, but still…f6670f3fdf4b8b58

Aslan began to speak, fde55218cc so I cleared my a90828adff head of the thoughts 5c481d1d54 and focused on him.932a9842849c7269

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“Wait, wait, wait, wife. What does this mean all of a sudden?”a7e8c5dcade47bcf

He spoke quickly 0f03369f18 and seemed uncharacteristically dbd13eb212 slow.1131c2bf0512fffb

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“Have I done something wrong, or have you been unhappy with your stay here, or is there something you don’t like about…….”1891e1e4130748b9

“No.”6fbb68ddba7ec8e9

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I shook my head.2354c7bec5500b1e

There was 757c06f7e5 no such ba67923a42 thing. I was always just 7c34682f84 grateful and sorry for a08b89b172 him.5e63183adbd951dc

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I’ve taken so much from him, and there’s nothing I can offer him.381796db32a00a2d

I’ve done him more harm than good just by being around him.221e16e4f9829b62

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Even if I wanted 72cfd4184e to repay him, I e99cf5e385 would never be able a932b48e69 to do so.aff17cbff9cd0968

“But why? Why are you doing this?”c7b9bd53a676857b

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When he 5c1d861fa2 asked me 939156ad76 why, I 0ff18936c1 tried to f45d25ecde shrug it c48609913d off.e3f1ed09fa3a3b1c

But then c05c2c6965 I said e604e301b4 something impulsive.72c3cf938c8ed71d

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“Actually, I overheard your conversation with Ms. Rosalyn.”4373ecb50c9e2f03

“What…… do you mean?”bdcaebb42d9d36ca

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I was embarrassed to admit my eavesdropping, but once I spoke, I couldn’t stop myself.9ef76b01de080051

“That you told, Miss Rosalyn, that you didn’t marry me because you were in love with me.”473ceb2b20749407

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“……!”cda066c2d8a7325c

“You only entered into a contract marriage with me out of necessity.”b6265ef4a28a82d5

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“…….”268eeb55b5977f73

“You said you didn’t think it would last this long, that it bothered you.”858e017763ea15a3

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I choked up c66c5ea7cf as I spoke.9a981d5bbb8b1732

I bit my 633a27faea lip and glared 5f4fcd8a04 at him.740ca0add7a17f3c

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I could see Aslan’s hand trembling with embarrassment.304b23c10fcbe73a

But I wouldn’t take his hand.2ac54cdcd9ce0f1c

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I don’t know about anything else, but for that conversation, he was too much.125095285c05c26c

No matter how much he hated being with me, he shouldn’t have talked about me like that.6ce1e900fc94dd46

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Don’t express your feelings to others.6aa34bb49dd4cbec

The string of thoughts made me nauseous, and I blurted out what I’d been trying so hard to hide.d1d98ad86f88f273

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“I’m sorry I’ve been bothering you. Please be happy with her.”84f9c874168d7946

The way 095f60a5b4 I spoke 1461773595 was calm, 4cccc37b69 but the 4b1dc38a04 content was d83e546627 sharp.a239334a426c8bc1

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It was the first time I’d ever said anything offensive to Aslan in this way. His eyes widened in surprise, like he’d been struck by lightning.66067e2280a413b6