UBC Ch2

All the funeral etiquette I thought I had diligently studied turned out to be useless. The chief mourner, Eui-joo’s brother, arbitrarily skipped the silent tribute, incense offering, and bowing portions. He dragged me to the table, saying we should eat first since a guest had arrived. The black suit he wore, with his back to me, was covered in tiny fuzz. His tie was crooked, and I thought, “So this is what they mean when they say a person’s circumstances show in their appearance.”55842f0f2de8dce8

Yukgaejang in a 7f28295dde paper bowl and 03621d7c54 cold slices of 0670e64047 boiled pork. Unidentifiable green side dishes 4b87210e9a and three dried-up honey 219ae9631e rice cakes, kimchi with 4424caf735 little seasoning. It was 7a05fb8caa a meal e99f7aa87b I received e4605c5787 after skipping fb30cbf1ea lunch and 80fbadc3c6 dinner, but c510c5e559 I hesitated fe006e2c04 to pick bb71045612 up my 9b17144a1b spoon.c04f84bbbf4768ec

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It was because of Eui-joo’s brother, who was in front of me, eating rice mixed in yukgaejang as if he hadn’t eaten in three days. From the start, he picked up two slices of boiled pork at once and ate them, which I thought was amazing. I stared in astonishment at him shoving the spoon into his mouth with a blank expression, and then my vision flickered. I looked up at the ceiling and saw the fluorescent light flickering on and off as if it were at the end of its life.1975f43553990575

It must be because it’s an old funeral hall, so power outages were frequent. I thought it was abnormally dark for some reason. The fluorescent light regained its strength five minutes later.4015076ca7bb2b29

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I put the plastic spoon I had been holding down on the table. A unique challenge had fallen into my life, where Eui-joo’s birthday, death, nothing could be easily passed over.8c3911eaba8a3293

A tie about to twist around to the back of his neck, bandages covering his hands, a mouth torn by a wound, a blank expression that made him look like a robot, a man who was eating like a glutton. But as the fluorescent light came on, I learned things I hadn’t expected among the things I had anticipated.d0adec0e7cb1b75b

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I could tell from his first appearance that he was much bigger than the skinny Eui-joo. His head was so high up from my perspective, and his imposing physique could be felt even in his hunched posture, which was intimidating. But his features, made clear by the light, were so refined that you couldn’t tell he was Eui-joo’s brother. It’s also strange that his eyes were bright brown, while his hair was black.f06d5acd114c86fb

His appearance, which drew out even nonexistent feelings of goodwill, evoked both admiration and shock. I was amazed that Eui-joo had a brother with such outstanding looks, and it was shocking that his chopstick skills for picking up kimchi were worse than a five-year-old’s.fbeaed6bded52268

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He was using his fist to wedge the chopsticks to pick up side dishes, a truly terrible skill. It was a wonder how he managed to pick up and eat the side dishes. He didn’t care about what others thought and finished a bowl of yukgaejang, then roughly pulled out a tissue and wiped his mouth. Tears even disappeared because of Eui-joo’s brother, who seemed to live in the wild. His indifferent gaze, sweeping across the table as he roughly wiped his mouth with the tissue, landed on me.e9e5244082df9c85

“Aren’t you eating?”1a9e4b20829f3dd2

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He said, looking at the untouched rice and yukgaejang. I couldn’t hide my bewilderment at the sudden question and just moved my lips. The man reached out without the slightest hesitation.2cace867cf8f018d

“Then I’ll eat it.”fa1716313512f2bc

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After my share of yukgaejang and rice passed into his hands, another mess began. My lower and upper lips parted on their own. As if he didn’t know what taste was, he mixed the rice into the soup and ate it quickly. I thought he would choke, so I opened a cola nearby and placed it in front of him.e0445901fc7cb2f1

The man’s spoon, which had been moving between bowls, slowly stopped. The man, who had silently swallowed the rice, lowered his eyes and asked.67508d0dd4763419

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“Are you close to Eui-joo?”8091e4366e79f65b

His tone, asking as if the dead Eui-joo were still alive, contained not a hint of emotion. It was as if it didn’t matter if I didn’t answer, as he started moving his spoon again.737db5313774b5b9

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“Yes, we were close. That’s why I came.”51d70e60936b6969

“School?”c08515824b314274

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“It’s winter vacation, so I don’t go.”012ba5f356aa2cf3

The resentment I thought had subsided was slowly raising its head within me. Besides his dead mother and runaway father, the person Eui-joo liked and relied on the most was probably his brother. The words, “What were you doing instead of coming to Chowa-ri earlier to take care of your sick brother?” rose to the tip of my tongue.3c2ce8af576e0653

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“You’re better than me.”1f01c3b991a43f84

He scraped the bottom of the bowl with the plastic spoon, and even tilted the bowl to pour it into his mouth. His unrefined manner was evident in his actions of putting down the empty bowl and pulling out a tissue to wipe his mouth. It was an impression that didn’t match his appearance.71b74cb1f027c181

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It wasn’t like I had grown up being pampered, but even to my eyes, the man’s clumsy behavior was shocking. Of course, thanks to my mom and my remarried rich aunt’s efforts, I lived like a dandelion in a greenhouse. There were only a few lucky girls in the whole school who didn’t have to worry about household affairs and just had to study.339d38b0c2110e55

It was especially 438d820b43 true in a c1aa124768 conservative town like c6c9b9fb71 Chowa-ri. It was a town 6c28a935bc that seemed to be f057187f91 possessed by the ghosts 8cf2e655ea of the Joseon Dynasty, a20b1f03ad thinking that something terrible 3cbe3a28b4 would happen if a 40e36940bd girl left her hometown.bc1670dfa643638e

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The town elders were somewhat fond of me because of my childhood connections. I had been able to greet them without blushing since I was a chubby-cheeked seven-year-old. Looking at Eui-joo’s case, that’s how it was. The village atmosphere of calling a grandmother who had been married and living there for over 30 years “Jeju’s wife” might have hastened Eui-joo’s death.533fc1f30e49d91f

“Eui-joo said he missed you a lot. Even when I brought him side dishes, he saved them. He said he would eat them with you when you came.”d4ea0a6fde2a086e

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So, instead of sitting there with such a blank expression, he should shed a few tears. I tried to prick him with thorns, but he was invincible. His hand slowly fell and lay on the table. Tap, tap, his fingernails tapped the tissue box in a regular rhythm. The age difference didn’t seem that great, but the man’s gestures and glances gave off a sense of a world I didn’t know. Then, he pulled his hand back and supported himself on the floor, letting out a sigh as if he were full.d0ef11875b460c11

“What side dishes?”7571b681c5896297

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“Sorry?”11f30f7eaf8a959d

“You said you brought side dishes.”d5d95d6808e427f2

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My mind went blank for a moment at the completely unexpected question. I barely managed to open my mouth in that state where I couldn’t think of anything.ce9a375c0ddd23c4

“Stir-fried sausage, seaweed stems, pickled cucumbers…”1cbad454135c948c

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“That must have been fucking delicious.”baeb7f11aeecc989

“Yes?”be13cb912c548a59

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“You lived well. Better than me.”b808f84627c704d6

He nonchalantly said 677fcb6ff8 that the dead 7cabcb6bd4 Eui-joo was better d5c2458669 than him. As if he had 090e293fa8 digested everything in the cacc8f9ca9 meantime, the man straightened 48a2a81a46 his posture again. He was 4224b2bf32 still trying ff4b0289f2 to pick be483bc489 up a 21cba29bb5 rice cake ecc25160ba with his 9bc8c2abfc clumsy chopsticks. Clearing the blankness from b71f067a69 my mind and regaining 6679cb05b1 my reason, I picked dc2d7b51b4 up the chopsticks this 63dbd5572a time. I picked up 755e79af00 the pink honey 2eb756715d rice cake that 0c7b29475f the man was 73c629da6e aiming for and b9fc112156 moved it to a18010e66c his chopsticks.b0ebe4f6ef1e40a2

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That was the first time the man’s expression changed. The man, whose eyes had widened slightly, stared at me intently.49f61e92f9bedf6a

“Thanks.”c973c398439656e9

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After the simple 7f26f016bf delivery ceremony, the f316facd4b man shoved the 4428d10596 rice cake into 939aa76339 his mouth and b7ac79e68f suddenly raised his 75326b798d chin to look 1ddfc72230 at me. He let out 56e76c8e2d another sigh and 479391a97b asked in an d69479a9d6 unclear pronunciation.275e33f672b5ae40

“Go now. I’ve finished eating.”03cfb59351c15a43

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That was originally the plan. It wasn’t an atmosphere for mourning or anything. But if I left like this, I would only think about Eui-joo’s brother day and night. And those clumsy chopsticks picking up kimchi. I, who was quick to adapt, picked up the kimchi, the man’s next target, and held it out to him. The man accepted it with a brazen expression, as if he were used to it the second time.c2ef114674319085

“I asked you. Why didn’t you come…? I’m not angry, so don’t glare at me like that.”42b56954be722c6a

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I only changed my tone to be polite because he was glaring at me as he stopped chewing. As my attitude changed, the man was busy getting rid of the food in his mouth again. Gulp, his Adam’s apple moved fiercely. The man rinsed his mouth with a glass of water and let out a sigh.68b778a3a3504ba5

“Your parents are alive.”726f7dd757702f1e

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“…Me?”d4e9aac6274eeae8

“Yeah.”fe5daec3e9fbc71e

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“Ah, me. Yes. I only have a mom, no dad.”c09e7a0ef5ac090b

“Does she treat you well?”ef20446ae06f6a06

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“I’m sorry, but why are you… asking that?”d2d6c1c424d2c6b0

“Just wondering if you don’t have to go home. If she doesn’t treat you well, you can stay longer. If she cherishes you like gold, you should go. It’ll be annoying if something noisy happens later. Now it’s…”1d78ec56d6d82783

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The man turned his 91d5b81510 head to look at 8a6617c4d7 the clock and narrowed 3fa71d2093 his brow.1755561fb4e480e3

“It’s almost 12.”b1a9fc442fbc8437

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He put his 6d7ccd166e hand inside his 3e81547824 suit jacket and 1dfa403c4a rummaged around, looking 07a0b2a4ae for something. My tongue became free ae02c02b40 as I saw the 1b209bc72a red lighter that came 23c5e4ffe8 out.66dfc3d172bc9f17

“Smoking is prohibited here, right? It is, right?”d113df0d743ac6cf

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“What’s prohibited?”8810117c47eaa2e2

The man opened bc6a2c57d6 the cigarette pack 06e53b8215 that naturally followed 402a7184db and squinted as 45cd8ddc6f if disappointed. I was relieved 592cbac36b to see the fc460c4702 empty cigarette pack 5360357541 with him. I leaned my relaxed 7551dc049e head against the wall.96c092ea83f94499

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“You can’t smoke here…”6361d06c5f40951d

“Yang Ji-eon.”c06c0ed8ff65e38b

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My shoulders flinched reflexively 96a27349f7 at the sudden call 4cfeb60c86 of my name. It was an 1910076236 atmosphere to say 61f2447cff something important about e2531be9a1 Eui-joo. I straightened my hunched 5379a356fc back and sat up, 6217584358 waiting for his next deb36f7094 words.10e702d05e4c3e3c

“Lend me some money.”c74a35878c9df349

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“Sorry?”b017e55da5f6b875

“So I can buy cigarettes.”3f5a93f6c6ee19b2

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“Huh?”a33cf4663274e248

“It would be even better if you bought them for me.”0649e5c317ddc632

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“I’m a minor, though?”74e2bd9924ed441e

“Can’t minors buy them? I think I bought them when I was your age.”2fa7f183c3be91c5

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“What?”7e9533e6ecf3abbb

A sneer hung on his lips as if he found me constantly asking back funny. The man, who shamelessly asked me to run errands for cigarettes, nevertheless didn’t pay attention to the condolence money I had offered. I realized very late that it was his unique, high-class joke.0598d7501f88d8c9

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After eating all the rice cakes, I stared blankly at him as he didn’t forget to eat the remaining side dishes. I was curious about Eui-joo’s brother, who had strangely appeared out of nowhere.91eadcb32d5521d8

“Excuse me.”e37d04b0fe27bcb4

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The man, who d20e3c153f was just about 28dfdc68b6 to pick up cde4a70ab2 a side dish 8186d85216 and put it 0fc580eb1e in his mouth, 58fe31f5d5 fixed his gaze 52409ee46e on me.0e41e936cfa0f8cd

“What’s your name?”ca063f06e5a97345

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The answer came 980c311d6d later, as the a6b665ebee chopsticks went ahead 9d9cb3aed5 to eat the 9b8b1dbb0c dry boiled pork. I moved d868c48670 the chopsticks d66882b982 before the 5a92ad31d4 man did. I thought a580b613a8 it would 2efad234ab be better 45db52c731 for me e3fc699792 to pick db60687ab6 it up ecf0df39ce since the 13ef5237c4 boiled pork 0a5fb9b43c was slipping 505e11cfd1 dozens of 21892f02ae times. The man quietly watched 9e66d0830a me move the boiled 14f0c91df4 pork to his plate 7384567216 before giving a late a2c1b9b47d answer.1644db8bb6c1d2f8

“Kang Eui-tae.”bfbe29bb9f0b689b

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Eui-tae. It was Kang Eui-tae. That was Eui-joo’s brother. After finishing the brief background check, I exchanged glances with the man. Wasn’t the valley that Mom warned me not to go to the deepest and most fun? The fact that I had passed 12 o’clock outside of the study room gave me a subtle thrill.f1ae2831159c0b03

Eui-joo’s brother was a strange person in many ways. I didn’t know if it was fortunate or something that it wasn’t a sad day that would ruin my short life. On the day of Eui-joo’s funeral, I was continuing an awkward memorial service with the man.3813647d394231a8

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