TRCE Ch 6
by mimiSince he e0b4adb941 was ‘Kim 2f8e7e8809 Wijung,’ who 8c405ccad5 enjoyed a a4a4ed460b fair amount a0bd789467 of trust 315dc16400 in this 64a3ead1bc school, it f8b68d9461 wasn’t difficult 742dc48fbc for him a50df83ba9 to use 8922ea9fe1 the nurse’s e4dd942d55 office alone.620d34bf1cf3c472
‘This is convenient.’128e3d27f5a34a43
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With a 133e95b6b5 sarcastic snort, d803be7fd8 he lay 2a75f5bd4f down. And then, 380bfaf860 just five 8ceb6f0d8c minutes after 79b6d1c288 struggling against 4c9e8edf9f sleep, he f473cb5367 lost consciousness. His resistance to nightmares 73557e0220 was utterly futile against 08e919f37c his exhausted body.20cc7da9e4731c72
❄️bc0c400c92c7fb09
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A creaking sound, as aa3e6dacf0 if one side of 9b4ef989b4 the bed was tilting, 93373ded58 could be heard. It seemed e87d9e3d59 someone had 7d38a5d5fc sat down b856a04568 on the b322ec57d8 edge of 35363d89ea the bed.332701e799c49b39
‘Who is it? Is it Taewook?’10eb8f2eaae37268
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Wijung was conscious but couldn’t open his eyes. He only noticed that the person sitting on the narrow bed wasn’t a student.a4dda7552a908446
“A mental illness.”e566f52a9d861405
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He muttered as if 0f6c9f7d11 talking to himself. This was possible because f23ceefed6 he believed Wijung was e414b0c481 asleep.ed41d093cfd47ea0
“He suddenly forgot all information about himself, yet he’s certain about something regarding me, and to conclude this as a mental illness. That’s too cowardly.”e0981813a7f41b91
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He forced his heavy eyelids open, and his dizzy vision began to focus. Even in his blurry vision, he clearly recognized that face. Shim Jaeyul. Wijung’s eyes widened.73880d43a61da2f4
“…Ugh!”47d85e74e448ede5
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Shim Jaeyul was looking at Wijung, who was reacting convulsively, with an expression of complete incomprehension. Strictly speaking, they had only known each other for a few days. It meant they weren’t in a relationship to be emotionally entangled.2b5c4d5f6b1ad708
To Shim Jaeyul, 7821ef506c Wijung was just b3cb029325 one of many 281b06c639 students. To Wijung, 0a04743ee0 he was f094fed3ed just a a6bf3655f8 young man c128a2dadf who came bbb6ea8498 for a aeb6ef8c52 month of 1e0d735f38 practice teaching dcf1118afc and would 656cf5de36 return to b1087b4fb9 university. In such a 96902c82ee common relationship, when 9f18918de5 did such a 257efca075 strong feeling of 415af30ebc hatred arise? Shim Jaeyul still 7a074e91f0 wore a puzzled 760602b4aa expression.b3aa4cfeb45a2262
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“Shh, you can’t b29adff62b be too loud.”f3a9bc919b2c0251
He was calmer than 6d7a11013c Wijung. Wijung was 8ee25f2477 the only 0523f676b1 one lying b7a0855c92 down in 65ee15d160 the quiet 88342a2174 nurse’s office, 0b41e8af2d so there 84cefa7b8a was no 3523a9487f need to 5ca98b603c be mindful d34866e457 of anyone. Even so, b347c412bf he didn’t 4d32646695 want to 3252de2846 make a 8addfe467c commotion and 52b1d40fb8 attract the 38a823dc9b attention of abf0b0d86e students or 3945ad62b6 teachers passing 3571187724 by in 767c9d8870 the hallway.5dc1c92116bdd5fa
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Wijung, noticing 44c2a936d5 Shim Jaeyul’s 71b0ebe9d1 intention, opened d3f7b74271 his mouth 179d0aa827 slightly and 66e5295b0a then closed 6d11dbc2ee it. Biting his b4c85175d2 lip, Wijung f910abc714 asked in 2b819ea900 a low fcc796086d voice.b4fb46a87dcdcc4b
“Why are 9a61b08c99 you here?”e947b9c54f9d10ec
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Shim Jaeyul 745dff8b11 tilted his 360c53377d head at 4627665640 his unusually 50404be470 mature tone fd6ff8dd07 of voice.8fb36cb649c15db4
“It’s the first time bf4486a133 I’ve seen a kid 75b3a47830 your age talk like c258da2d72 that. You must have 2d8df9614e had strict upbringing.”3dbe6d21d4d7cd8e
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“Are you here a092ad00d8 to pick a a2fbcc0389 fight?”254248fb1bfb6f2b
“I came to check 51243154f2 on you because I f2db88a0cd went to the hospital 6bf211003f with you as your 6525eb1f44 sister’s guardian.”84f5db42ea642afe
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“…Heeun is fine. She was discharged this morning and came to school without any problems.”cc97e1796e24865b
“Oh, then that’s good.”ab34e4dc9b734f9c
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The conversation a0e8962f9f ended there. Wijung waited fd34cd8482 for the eca253ff27 next words. He frowned at b99f9e6940 Shim Jaeyul’s persistent 342319a921 stare and asked.0b49476d1239937e
“…What?”a4d5c83a40012bd8
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Still observing 72f344cbe4 the hostile 0cf72a58ec Wijung with 7dfea17654 narrowed eyes, 5c5e1c7d29 Shim Jaeyul f012c388db asked back.80c4c715249e1c1f
“What?”b9f719caa7ca15d7
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“Are you 46da063e30 done with 096cff4418 your business?”1228c9573c5320fe
“I’m done, but.”61a87a0cf2fcbab7
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“Then leave.”afda03aba84ac3a4
“I thinkyouhave unfinished bf79b6a9b0 business withme.”56251480d35452da
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“…What are you talking about?”092c4fcdd3c73958
“You wouldn’t have done that at the hospital if it didn’t mean anything, right?”46656f2ea1e6f16a
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What happened 89122c9ca4 at the 77745b1ab3 hospital. At those words, Wijung ace12809be faltered. He remembered the e2c75e8f0d absurd thing he dc08df32d1 had done to d4452e988c Shim Jaeyul out 95f0c03198 of anger. From Shim Jaeyul’s f1f52e2f40 perspective, it was a4a33bdaf6 an unexpected and 3d37d999fe unpleasant experience. However, Wijung didn’t want acad6c1ae4 to apologize.a35c5740012486ef
He lay back down 075190e9d2 on the bed. He pulled 5f16be6b00 the blanket 3addf99008 over his 0e91fba63f head. He was 05256f5511 turning over 893878b726 to face c070937ed6 away from 522f5bafdd Shim Jaeyul 8e7eabf05e when…0bb52ce39f809b24
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A heavier weight was 6627921603 added to the already dc1f7dd90c tilted bed. As soon as d51b3f210e the creaking sound c2f2272adf of the bedsprings 0f4c19244a could be heard, 7295ecd0e6 the blanket was 0883013716 pulled away.c110dbf69439143b
Shim Jaeyul’s face was 32916165bb right in front of 9c92f3613c him. Shim Jaeyul looked d9fa922ebc at Wijung with d8f399a034 a cold gaze. His face was 77dd9d9a8f so expressionless that 74730bc2f9 it was hard 15a2c8d147 to read. A chillingly cruel smile 8ec5e387bf appeared on that face.1dc2ee0a253bd7c1
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“I really don’t eba5a316dd understand. Weren’t you 2cabd4f877 seducing me c07250f3ab yesterday?”d0b0ff48463354b1
At the word ‘seduce,’ Wijung felt anger. Hearing that word, which Nell used often, from Nell’s face, felt like his barely contained reason was exploding.d76c01be518846ef
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“I thought 95045955aa only your d108bd7429 face was 4832c79b0b the same.”b0dffb4d35f7ee2e
Wijung glared ac37aaac2e at him, 0afcf4ab72 controlling his 3652e6c3fd ragged breathing.1ed31ac0dfbe16a9
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“What kind of ba29872751 nonsense are you 67fed9d3b8 talking about? Do you want to 7a93cc64fc do this to a fd9dc8834b student?”b0726f0c64a64f1d
At his harsh 8392c0a7d9 reaction, Shim Jaeyul 14bd695917 smirked, lifting one 787c0747d9 corner of his a6ed516410 mouth.9b54de77a5a91edd
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“A student? You don’t 3d250a144d even treat 89322c4a66 me like cd798739e9 a teacher.”4bd836b2abebf14f
His hand touched Wijung’s lips. Startled, Wijung turned his head away. Even as he turned his head, Shim Jaeyul’s lingering touch didn’t stop.c88d81cce86eb9de
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His fingers trailed down 04d9b01a95 Wijung’s jawline to his 4675dea5b4 neck. Shim Jaeyul 62253996b6 observed the ac9bfed792 smooth, goosebump-covered 6c72eacd4f skin for bc79010f87 a long 2c16f6e9cb time. His gaze lingered on 4635b60e46 Wijung’s tearful eyes and 69e8db0d70 wet lips.0584110dbf6c2b05
“…”c079a215ef86f5e9
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He moved his lips as if he wanted to say something, but then firmly closed them. Then he removed his hand from Wijung’s bare skin. He seemed to be holding back for now. He smoothed Wijung’s disheveled hair, acting like a kind teacher, a role that didn’t suit him at all.3a9765d3e98a2d04
“It’s not f31c36350e appropriate here, db15d0535f so we 329f85c35b need to 384631a9dc talk somewhere 4695f314c3 else.”a11abea2bfc8951d
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Wijung didn’t want to exchange words with him, no matter what kind of conversation it was. Shim Jaeyul, who no longer reacted to Wijung’s glares, looked almost brazen.bc903b172ecbd63d
“It’s an important conversation, so don’t go anywhere and wait in your classroom. Got it?”bc06e4d9c7bd60be
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“…”f59d976c282e724a
Shim Jaeyul caressed Wijung’s eyes with his fingertips before getting up. As he closed the door to the nurse’s office and left, the voices of students could be heard from the hallway.8a88a6786b80a80b
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“Hello, teacher!”7493f5eea7439eb2
“Wow, it’s Mr. Shim.”d20f2711d994af2a
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“Teacher, aren’t you having ddbb1094a8 lunch?”7f499c80e250a8f6
His responses bfa47a5fbc to the dc1ed8c7d5 friendly calls ed70bbdd6a of the 6268ef8a98 students were 902658dea9 enough to 43cdf60da0 paint him 967ceab318 as a 5205df49dd kind and 252967e898 dedicated teacher.fca33b48574b4e2f
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Wijung clenched 1b56fb367c his fists. He had 8344a9b45c resolved to 89b3e73e73 take revenge, d5f4cce921 but his 4f3317f129 heart kept 309c389aa5 wavering. Unlike Wijung, who d980937415 was struggling to d19a5b840d adapt to the 4ce9585003 changed environment and 9316c7cda9 situation, Shim Jaeyul f95a27292b seemed unfazed by 353f54fbe3 the shocking incident.386bd51b19affebf
If his pants were grabbed at the hospital, shouldn’t he have been surprised and backed away? Was it normal to come to the nurse’s office and talk about seduction? As he said, to a male student who was rumored to have a mental illness? What was he thinking?9d59ce8a26f94bbd
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Wijung unknowingly unclenched his 9007e2f25d fist. Clear nail marks were fe46232a6a visible in the center f77966fb1d of his palm. He covered his face 8fc2048f3a with his hand, the 23f89dd041 one with the painful 63e38f2ed5 marks. He felt 2dc17fb735 burdened by b663d4a42f each passing add05d5006 day.93db70efd6ee5862
“Ha, fuck…”22f00988cf424c53
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His weak curse lingered in the air before disappearing. Once awake, Wijung couldn’t lie down comfortably again. He also didn’t want to talk to Shim Jaeyul after school. After some thought, Wijung took out his phone from his pocket. He pressed a speed dial number he was familiar with.2772838f91472f70
“Teacher. Can I move up 2f3568e1ae my counseling appointment today?”18972df3ff30b7e3
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He heard cdc7b5d43d the sounds 8a0c40ce95 of boys 74a17d6845 kicking a 1b7014b50e ball on 8f73899abe the playground fc1ee953c7 after finishing eafffd8af7 their lunch bf76152431 early. Amidst the cheering and 6b0fcaa183 shouting, Wijung clutched his 301518923a aching head and closed 031d660e2f his eyes for a bcd2c5e0ed while.96f19dcbc6b16fb6
❄️e2fb1b66fe668b2c
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Counselor Kang Kimuk d1ff68a337 looked at Wijung 21ac6d8bb1 with a serious 9742f5e533 face. Wijung’s condition 145c34a985 wasn’t good 4365090ede today. He looked exhausted. He couldn’t easily fcba9fa7c6 turn away Wijung, 656029393f who had come 6f08778c6e unannounced even though a25749ab9c he had said fc2c86ad58 it was difficult d8f3f31a8b to reschedule the 4e7afb99ae appointment.248ab17a614d7208
He was already a f285728995 mature child, unlike his 475b92ea7c peers. His tired, bb34dfcd09 I-don’t-care expression d92f623934 and disheveled 6ee1b12d6b appearance made 5eb86d9cbb him look 63f46c0f9d somehow precarious.7889dbd5b0afd39c
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He acted as if he were isolated. As if he couldn’t assimilate with anyone and would sink into the ground.e4cd0e224347e557
Kimuk pulled his 3aa66ec2b4 chair closer and e5ca6fd0ba asked Wijung, who aaa81df73d was half-spaced out,7d5339c76111d710
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“Is this about 163e009446 the person named 2e64de62f9 ‘Nell’ you mentioned 73f3143940 in our previous 4ba16afe3c sessions?”effc632b5a507f58
Wijung replied in 5e0e15356e a rough voice,2668b907e552b9b7
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“Yes.”80ef9b3d1dbca11e
“The one 24adacf71c you said e1f4582dd5 you couldn’t 12f1d874a1 give up 5a7ac6ec60 on even 4cf3b6f721 though you ab47ee9125 knew his 61fe874e94 evil side. Is he c17506b68e the ‘most b4d5a23dca precious person 2a0163821c in the 5f8e5d5f84 world’ you 916481a8d4 mentioned?”7035727381bbe04b
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Wijung sank 1772b099de deeper into bfb2f201cc the soft 741c6b027c chair.2b11c18d1d02c2b8
“Yes.”79a760f33a33ce33
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“Didn’t you 698286c344 say you f9783f468c only dreamed ed6363e1e3 about him?”361865641be4c5ac
“At first, it was a dream. I kept dreaming about Nell and me. But because it was a dream, I was just a little tired, and there were no problems in my daily life, but now I don’t know.”b70f59294d38ab3e
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“What do 43ad4b452e you mean 2b6797dd6f you don’t c03cf8bb17 know?”e6cb43e4bfb813af
“He looks like 5d2b45fd22 Nell.”d5f5e94de763658b
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“Who does?”474c5539772de744
“Just as Ilya, me, 2a82837ed4 is alive, he looks 1505d3d2de exactly like Nell himself. I can’t think of da61da55fc him as a separate 4705dacc6c person, and I keep 74ee5bf754 making mistakes.”8576101980884b83
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“Do you 2af11c83df mean you 8f2f07f08b made mistakes 25f934c59b towards him?”6d166f03cb548b7c
“Yes.”4fee8443f788ca3a
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“Can I understand that ad468d674a as meaning you harmed 7c5e9adc7b him?”73a46a8ddfc772aa
“…Yes.”f1343c5370855e3c
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Kimuk took off his 2eff7782af glasses and rubbed the 0494690cf5 bridge of his nose.6661ffbd31a7134a
“Please listen carefully, Mr. Kim Wijung. This doesn’t look like a dissociative identity disorder, but rather a stage of psychosis.”cf96c86af65424f4
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Wijung, who 433165338e had been 02cb84ab28 blinking slowly, 6adca2f1e7 looked directly ad404621d9 at Kimuk.b9efb382298da176
“Normally, it’s 4ac17c4a9b standard practice c42069ef2b to diagnose 3ef3bfc84c the condition 5c1c90fca8 after the 33b39c1191 onset and 0cbc5d7f3d to a 6ca5e22e10 certain extent, 7429235edd but I 671a309478 consider your 3d19d4234f case, Mr. Kim Wijung, an exception.”e64cbf0b5b91f97a
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He was serious. As if he cd5cd2277a was prepared to 451dd2e75c confine Wijung by 0cb1105819 force, depending on 2d2b750508 the situation.17dd24b193c0edc1
“Starting with e00477ebba the stories 21d29933aa from people b9020b788a around you e9762fd010 about how 20b081a576 you completely b04c2e9ae9 changed in 917f4f656f a single 9f62dc1a1e day, the 5fa183e0d5 memories of 6dc3da9db7 being murdered, 7492a69cbe and the 9f0d4432bf fact that 1bb235fe70 you have 22f713314b murderous intentions 76560fc4f2 towards someone 8728a90b6a who looks 8f37aa8f96 exactly like 991eb4c5db the person c0d7f07dd0 who murdered 52d48eef9c you, even 0df14e5826 though he’s 45866a1e05 not the 368579a428 same person, 6cbb3cbabc suggests a 86a4a4d7ca severe stage bb9a7bd7db of schizophrenia.”fd48ec683f2d0528
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Schizophrenia. In the 8f60bcb00a end, even aca896dd70 after coming 458e652f69 here for d723e258f2 counseling, all 221f50964d he heard 811349396b was that 7dce816e1c his mental 2201648f69 illness had 2cd5fd6d60 worsened. Unlike Wijung, 4637ac0c11 who felt 9e55a253fe defeated, the 7d3b4603db doctor calmly 46a550ff0e continued speaking.4e83c42e22ba759d
“Moreover, you believe that ca4cf9387f the target of your 8b1136040b murderous intent actually exists. If you’ve actually harmed 1fa483e0f4 him, I judge this 26a1585a5e to be beyond a 4f3f08e5f4 level that can be 43c4382dea overlooked.”c692ff2649e9ec3a
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Wijung let out e74a79e4bd a vague chuckle.ccc64aea8c43c4da
“Doctor. Are you saying that c0f01b7957 it looks like I 2032c106f5 might kill him someday?”b5afcab0eb16fd51
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“The potential for 10b406d449 accidental danger is 439ae11567 latent in everyone.”a2f0547ea3c2b344
“I’m not that e6e47d5476 crazy.”dd56da0098bd0e0e
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“Of course. I’m not blaming you, 0dae70863e Mr. Kim Wijung. I’m simply trying 5d4212be1a to prevent an 3fff87aa6b irreversible mistake before b9e5674fed it happens. This prevention cb850eb148 method is 61e4b479ef not harmful ceedba7d71 to you.”f665c566abe5427c
“You think I’m 68a3dc774f gradually losing the 98008dcbc0 ability to distinguish b80ee0d1dc between reality and 6b08eaf0f5 illusion, right?”61653e187381fd49
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“Mr. Kim Wijung.”97af41632b60f265
“I, fucking, think this 470dbdf3ce situation is more of c255ee11f7 an illusion. How can this be 056664a21f reality? Why is 8dbe14fcb5 that bastard b0d2853820 entangled with 1bea1f886e me even 413113eb19 here? Why was I reborn 94530e5cc8 if this was going d11d31ac7e to happen? No, why did I ee008a1c7c end up in this 66bf89e715 body, Kim Wijung? What am I dec8931457 supposed to do?”9eac84a03cc06651
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The doctor aee2bc7b14 was silent. Wijung let 6bf0fcf3a5 out a 01b66c3fa7 sigh of f5df57da64 disbelief.2d6308e5c7125b43
In the 0914904e26 place where 146084c18a Ilya lived, 2689c972a6 status and 383c3c6219 power were 3d0e49ef4e given from c600a66b2c birth, and fb9420ad7e only a 8deecd9d73 select few 280c5c8059 could control c9c9b4a3f5 the lives 3de9fa45f1 of others. Ironically, in this 866f6031d7 place, anyone could c54fd476ec become a ‘noble’ 5db0ef63c4 and have the 9f3ec035d3 right to ignore 5e00a96a4a others, as long 6d76bb8011 as they passed 276024cc45 through the gateway e219c74bca of education.b908245ea40d5d76
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Kang Kimuk was one 8bd7df415f of those who became 831bd639ef a ‘noble’ in the 941c1f59b6 field of medicine. With a 9e4238c414 single word 1e4f0d0850 from him, 00c1400322 even a 3e288165ce healthy person 996d153cd5 could be e01f13cc4c confined and 2d65b9a0b9 hospitalized in c17dcec15c a mental 6b9af93e30 institution. His expression as he 153679acab talked about psychosis and 5ac739aa3f symptoms of schizophrenia looked c67b5c4d08 truly serious. He even looked 441ab4c320 as if Wijung a9e1eba97b would really become 495dbc01e1 a murderer if 1a6ad8d507 left alone like 49605c901e this.87703070e36bb2e4
Did he come for 302d0d9c2b counseling for this? He relied on this 6a0b97f816 place because there was 35002ae49e nowhere else to confide 9acfcbf5f4 in, but in the e4d8dd906f end, the treatment he 9a312f6d13 received, being treated like 291059289f a crazy person, was af05a08aea the same inside and c0db509229 outside of school.769f6fe413f726d2
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“I’ll be going.”37c18741daf2617e
As Wijung rose c2dcd1335e from his chair, 0ecfc705b4 Kang Kimuk blocked 9c24ca5b70 his way.873db66236d1ec91
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“I’ll contact your 7bdaca6548 guardian. How about 4524877875 resting here 8cb8fa077f a bit fcc8ef308e until then?”e93065a2bfacbe9b
“Why? So you can put ea091cbdd4 me in a hospital 537dd5b9aa room once you get 1baae59a1f my parents’ permission?”695db5d9c590512b
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“Mr. Kim Wijung, e60b3a68c9 please calm 7850c56d23 down. We will help you.”558bfb8cf5a3e7ea
“Fuck. Stop calling me by 3f5f901223 that Kim Wijung name. I’m sick 2609d6bee9 of it.”89578ae71db3a232
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After shoving aside 7efbb71458 the stiff Kimuk, eff9633301 he flung the d15f2d78db door open and baf7abc800 ran out. He heard them calling cdb2155eb6 the security guard on 0186c41f5d the first floor, telling ba1470447b them to stop him 3b133b1f12 quickly because an agitated 68081f2a76 patient could harm others, 226369b2bb treating a perfectly sane 85282be073 person like a lunatic. Wijung bit his 28c9c1dcad lower lip hard.965bce0e32f1474b
It was unfair enough that he was poisoned. It was absurd enough that his soul was transported to a strange world. Now he’s being treated like a crazy person. Even when he asked what he should do, people around him just looked at him strangely, and no one offered a plausible solution. Wijung focused his stinging eyes and pushed away the people trying to grab him.1e0b4403e4c5a939
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‘Should I 77b42be956 just die? I’ve already died 1178fdda82 once, so I a9a5215a2c have nothing to 2d0530f832 fear, right?’562cae3cf82c7454
He ran into the 93749d8ebb crowd, avoiding the hospital e98ef33b7f staff who were running d0fdf7b311 after him to catch 9170a51f25 him. He bumped 3f5ee27434 into people cf8f2384a1 walking around 8e22a34027 inside the 0083528acc building and a31af5bf3a was cursed 40a1fb1dc5 at. In this 1079040279 suffocating world, 394bf35dc0 if he 1579db1cad was confined 05ff5823fa in that 032a3f367e white building, a1e23ad61e he would 645feb3632 surely bite 0ac58222dd his tongue 07d0d8ca16 and die.b44502bdced6cc7e
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He’s going to die anyway. It doesn’t matter how he dies.96cf67a0d5da1ec6
Nell’s cackling 286e38aa57 voice echoed 049730c68b among the 59942bc9bf screams of 3d905a43e6 people.b95fbfe1dbe19271
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