TRCE Ch 6

Since he was b0ed4e2778 ‘Kim Wijung,’ who e2795059c1 enjoyed a fair a7a28fb4f2 amount of trust d1089858b1 in this school, b58ba60308 it wasn’t difficult ea93b03432 for him to cf06564999 use the nurse’s 9ae40e97a8 office alone.6beda51261e50336

‘This is convenient.’0425f4cdce7f9616

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With a sarcastic snort, 98280611b0 he lay down. And then, just d09baaf5dd five minutes after 0cadc6f246 struggling against sleep, abfcb28e6a he lost consciousness. His resistance 4d61336b60 to nightmares f26ffb22ed was utterly 204b66806d futile against 15b73219e2 his exhausted 2fb358000b body.89d7b2101420f417

❄️8cfab945ace2e24f

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A creaking sound, 305fc0edea as if one 26842a0b88 side of the 5507169a1a bed was tilting, 7c3b6713c9 could be heard. It seemed someone had d1f1196faa sat down on the 9d07db5260 edge of the bed.a920c47569156703

‘Who is it? Is it Taewook?’6889a93e46f450eb

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Wijung was conscious but couldn’t open his eyes. He only noticed that the person sitting on the narrow bed wasn’t a student.f134dc39c4b06ba7

“A mental illness.”e827b5ea008ab6cf

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He muttered a5f60dd74e as if ef9658e926 talking to ec326eded8 himself. This was 029419cc38 possible because 7d1831c618 he believed b8036398e1 Wijung was 380b095964 asleep.988c506658e7fd97

“He suddenly forgot all information about himself, yet he’s certain about something regarding me, and to conclude this as a mental illness. That’s too cowardly.”328e7cc8103cb5bf

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He forced his heavy eyelids open, and his dizzy vision began to focus. Even in his blurry vision, he clearly recognized that face. Shim Jaeyul. Wijung’s eyes widened.89f9ef11fc583a8a

“…Ugh!”bb32780a79d56030

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Shim Jaeyul was looking at Wijung, who was reacting convulsively, with an expression of complete incomprehension. Strictly speaking, they had only known each other for a few days. It meant they weren’t in a relationship to be emotionally entangled.37d555af6466444f

To Shim 24e0f5970d Jaeyul, Wijung 1e2cc0ebd9 was just b22e968c1c one of f4c03d10c1 many students. To Wijung, he was 0f5ccb7361 just a young man e130a46062 who came for a 0560a5a720 month of practice teaching 4bca37ce5a and would return to ebecc4af65 university. In such a 36feadd293 common relationship, when 1ecfc2c3e1 did such a 7bf6ce61ae strong feeling of c284907710 hatred arise? Shim Jaeyul still 1b5f28192a wore a puzzled d0261a7d26 expression.9fb8092b47da8041

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“Shh, you can’t be 7929694f0b too loud.”463eea65d54ad90e

He was d332da8924 calmer than 3624f0b897 Wijung. Wijung was the only 7c750f641f one lying down in d3713b3098 the quiet nurse’s office, 5a7688f009 so there was no 2690189f91 need to be mindful b195e629ba of anyone. Even so, he bdb2d268db didn’t want to d093082f02 make a commotion d153728f2e and attract the 30cb68bbf3 attention of students 0aedde1437 or teachers passing f0be88e344 by in the 5f412a8f9f hallway.2864a58541f9f4c2

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Wijung, noticing Shim Jaeyul’s d8a26f2e8e intention, opened his mouth d9a7ba2e4e slightly and then closed 9d58d0409c it. Biting his lip, 3170a7c770 Wijung asked in 958f3e56c6 a low voice.e1e10e531c0a739b

“Why are you 8687f8d763 here?”f6430eb358a77f8a

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Shim Jaeyul tilted 709d06ddb6 his head at 438107a1e3 his unusually mature 6ef9fea3ab tone of voice.d4dca4c706cd1e2d

“It’s the d8a8bc49bf first time 3a26966340 I’ve seen acf2f73e47 a kid 483592cbec your age e36fd166dd talk like 11de3a4baf that. You must 65b5bb1a2c have had b99aed76da strict upbringing.”cb04fd51cd058fec

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“Are you here to d2ee0306e5 pick a fight?”e6e31725a2ba283e

“I came to 8c5686cacb check on you 69480fd3b5 because I went 5bd870a8b5 to the hospital e6a4e2186d with you as 9a8f57b2a2 your sister’s guardian.”3ed37fa80c3525e3

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“…Heeun is fine. She was discharged this morning and came to school without any problems.”3f30b235f76c53d0

“Oh, then that’s good.”6b56705ece527cc5

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The conversation f1323327c2 ended there. Wijung waited for the 00b078dff2 next words. He frowned at Shim f3074cb013 Jaeyul’s persistent stare and f067339516 asked.01c3d3d76061a2bf

“…What?”83c657ef75430509

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Still observing the 8a2eb7a617 hostile Wijung with 4f14ea75ec narrowed eyes, Shim 6089b5208e Jaeyul asked back.ebcbdb16b9a0febe

“What?”a63827a674c17023

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“Are you done with 633e7d5fbb your business?”9d03b789d7182d31

“I’m done, but.”784059fe3a6a16b1

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“Then leave.”c23708ff40aff1a4

“I thinkyouhave unfinished a5868dac94 business withme.”6b8c52012b000528

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“…What are you talking about?”493d812de599badc

“You wouldn’t have done that at the hospital if it didn’t mean anything, right?”7b653f3c67339b1b

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What happened at 70c1963c02 the hospital. At those words, 559267b6e0 Wijung faltered. He remembered the absurd 0033ce323a thing he had done 4feb4f6421 to Shim Jaeyul out 1034688b6f of anger. From Shim Jaeyul’s 8cbc18a758 perspective, it was e95f15caa9 an unexpected and c9798c7ced unpleasant experience. However, Wijung didn’t want e1dacee318 to apologize.f039735db8216064

He lay 6848f4f5f8 back down 77eac2833c on the 46d5d616bc bed. He pulled the blanket a115cc5d56 over his head. He was turning ceac37c740 over to face 27b70a3924 away from Shim d98ff7371e Jaeyul when…536f27e08b6cc7b3

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A heavier c1bc095043 weight was 211e607342 added to 2a72976100 the already 55dd49960e tilted bed. As soon as 50a1a30f40 the creaking sound 107e90f158 of the bedsprings 49fe3242ed could be heard, 78dd8a7100 the blanket was eb8a253e19 pulled away.94533070214db826

Shim Jaeyul’s face was e3cee291f8 right in front of 1f063b8281 him. Shim Jaeyul 1340c46756 looked at 29e39d95e0 Wijung with 06f9772b6c a cold f61da78067 gaze. His face was so ba54c3c8d1 expressionless that it was c20d5ab11a hard to read. A chillingly cruel 74710c1a64 smile appeared on 60ccd67f2d that face.0324d36e6a51371b

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“I really don’t understand. Weren’t you 9210042e2d seducing me 05afdcb904 yesterday?”721e97f9b7cce454

At the word ‘seduce,’ Wijung felt anger. Hearing that word, which Nell used often, from Nell’s face, felt like his barely contained reason was exploding.9d1327c23618c3ee

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“I thought only your 82cc4cf0f6 face was the same.”d80466be6caad170

Wijung glared at 21dd74a6c3 him, controlling his 234b68fb64 ragged breathing.cb54a0de1a20ad0c

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“What kind of bab64ef4d8 nonsense are you 37084628d4 talking about? Do you want to e9eed33ab5 do this to a 1d7c1356c0 student?”9183c8500130f229

At his harsh cf801603bd reaction, Shim Jaeyul d39afe4963 smirked, lifting one acf71444d8 corner of his f4f921ab4f mouth.9b98e3ffa134aad2

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“A student? You don’t 27c1ab77e4 even treat b2c01bd299 me like 4b91d2fa55 a teacher.”da3fb98dc86730b1

His hand touched Wijung’s lips. Startled, Wijung turned his head away. Even as he turned his head, Shim Jaeyul’s lingering touch didn’t stop.e4948249db6c599e

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His fingers trailed down c5f46a6d12 Wijung’s jawline to his dc65cf4254 neck. Shim Jaeyul c627b5a396 observed the 656bb52dd8 smooth, goosebump-covered 975ec12342 skin for 6d812137e1 a long b50d393cd6 time. His gaze lingered 11012447f5 on Wijung’s tearful f4814aef64 eyes and wet 212d6e37b1 lips.5e141e513e7c5a42

“…”c8b29e21e32148e2

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He moved his lips as if he wanted to say something, but then firmly closed them. Then he removed his hand from Wijung’s bare skin. He seemed to be holding back for now. He smoothed Wijung’s disheveled hair, acting like a kind teacher, a role that didn’t suit him at all.7a6099f21e665712

“It’s not appropriate here, c0672e90d8 so we need to 742e48a2f6 talk somewhere else.”6338cd397a3a56b1

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Wijung didn’t want to exchange words with him, no matter what kind of conversation it was. Shim Jaeyul, who no longer reacted to Wijung’s glares, looked almost brazen.31d2c8476d6b8653

“It’s an important conversation, so don’t go anywhere and wait in your classroom. Got it?”9efbbb4bf75274ba

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“…”54eefdbadbfa3b1e

Shim Jaeyul caressed Wijung’s eyes with his fingertips before getting up. As he closed the door to the nurse’s office and left, the voices of students could be heard from the hallway.04c42f712a303205

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“Hello, teacher!”31363d8d71048efc

“Wow, it’s Mr. Shim.”3cec070326092658

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“Teacher, aren’t you having dbc2e3bbe0 lunch?”59883bd6fafd644a

His responses to 0ab4f2d339 the friendly calls fff7b6b0c8 of the students b958601d57 were enough to be7725af89 paint him as 66e710ec2e a kind and 788cf91037 dedicated teacher.10451d96f9c75784

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Wijung clenched his 3df4410dd5 fists. He had 058f28821a resolved to 6191757265 take revenge, 5f5efdca52 but his dc28ab80d5 heart kept 8ef91b69f3 wavering. Unlike Wijung, who 04bc58e728 was struggling to fcad421520 adapt to the 64a1698297 changed environment and 8935a9bccd situation, Shim Jaeyul c3f19a4891 seemed unfazed by c7288b640b the shocking incident.11789b8fd82900a3

If his pants were grabbed at the hospital, shouldn’t he have been surprised and backed away? Was it normal to come to the nurse’s office and talk about seduction? As he said, to a male student who was rumored to have a mental illness? What was he thinking?1170275b3bfb5a9d

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Wijung unknowingly unclenched 62c7f688fe his fist. Clear nail marks were b762af8daa visible in the center 00817b7b3b of his palm. He covered his 0243cffad0 face with his 2dc26cd3aa hand, the one 3779b29fe8 with the painful fb9b2dc272 marks. He felt burdened by 3203233713 each passing day.63ac87a1ac4db8f1

“Ha, fuck…”66da8a35f0e8b9bc

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His weak curse lingered in the air before disappearing. Once awake, Wijung couldn’t lie down comfortably again. He also didn’t want to talk to Shim Jaeyul after school. After some thought, Wijung took out his phone from his pocket. He pressed a speed dial number he was familiar with.1b50dd70022a3424

“Teacher. Can I move 5680320e04 up my counseling 2a67f1df08 appointment today?”1dfa56af98584c32

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He heard the d3a498cb16 sounds of boys fef3829ef3 kicking a ball b1b0e36bec on the playground 5704e8386c after finishing their 387548e9a2 lunch early. Amidst the cheering b0a12d4efb and shouting, Wijung 2aae637b10 clutched his aching cedb2f95d2 head and closed 20f254971d his eyes for c16b0d8f33 a while.f6ea876db524736e

❄️48231ae7c6f22940

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Counselor Kang 35f00d0399 Kimuk looked 3690c522b0 at Wijung 19fad18ad3 with a 2f7e0b408e serious face. Wijung’s condition wasn’t good 784016d3f8 today. He looked exhausted. He couldn’t easily a82fc17807 turn away Wijung, f1bad4489d who had come 71c58aeb50 unannounced even though 20f8636d7e he had said 0390764a46 it was difficult 2fd04f4a9b to reschedule the 40af25eb75 appointment.0706bfdc3a9d5587

He was 87b270b818 already a 871e64d4fc mature child, abaf8da41b unlike his 1ec1e74508 peers. His tired, d9222f57d8 I-don’t-care expression 710ad21ba1 and disheveled 58e2790eda appearance made 121722fccc him look 1436c11bef somehow precarious.c4b5e558251d1445

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He acted as if he were isolated. As if he couldn’t assimilate with anyone and would sink into the ground.33d24b1620328c46

Kimuk pulled his 1baec584f7 chair closer and 27a8c6b430 asked Wijung, who 53fe51ca98 was half-spaced out,e2b39e3dd6111ff1

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“Is this a7d450cad9 about the 0d1f635a41 person named ac49f108db ‘Nell’ you 5015d822b8 mentioned in dc13fcfe32 our previous a8c433cb0d sessions?”eae837718b776f3f

Wijung replied in a 3278d6a723 rough voice,f87c49f800eb300f

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“Yes.”e7c9945eedce5358

“The one you said 1e6ce7c0b8 you couldn’t give up 584e0e1808 on even though you 3f88bd36e6 knew his evil side. Is he the 1655ac5ca0 ‘most precious person 334c498868 in the world’ e23deb490b you mentioned?”70d49ea13eba5b63

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Wijung sank deeper 7c5fb7fafd into the soft ac79ac747c chair.ed4d972089a57468

“Yes.”c8375136415092a5

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“Didn’t you 9fed8875e9 say you dd589f2628 only dreamed e7d5ec7efe about him?”80b1cb9176202497

“At first, it was a dream. I kept dreaming about Nell and me. But because it was a dream, I was just a little tired, and there were no problems in my daily life, but now I don’t know.”b853db93e9ce37a6

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“What do acedbd4ae6 you mean 7fdd4ecdfc you don’t 9d6b9be6ef know?”03eb4dba0caf8371

“He looks 7897299c22 like Nell.”c657811b169910f0

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“Who does?”5762c9f0afbb437f

“Just as Ilya, c1212ef46f me, is alive, 6025232c2b he looks exactly 8a6e0ed625 like Nell himself. I can’t think of 33482b5f98 him as a separate a59b2f8dee person, and I keep 4d2bd22ac0 making mistakes.”061cc8b0dd0de8f6

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“Do you mean 02621d0953 you made mistakes 5e28f0bef1 towards him?”a2af8af080873c13

“Yes.”5ade270dded498de

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“Can I understand 65f77a7790 that as meaning 399be47343 you harmed him?”f2506a73f68ba0eb

“…Yes.”f7e08c20baba949a

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Kimuk took 974958cf50 off his bbb566a84c glasses and 0833a0d0b5 rubbed the 3904a3a1d9 bridge of 9846acf54c his nose.088a5ea726fde9b4

“Please listen carefully, Mr. Kim Wijung. This doesn’t look like a dissociative identity disorder, but rather a stage of psychosis.”46536976a4bfd050

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Wijung, who had 5f138d8af8 been blinking slowly, 484354019b looked directly at e45719135a Kimuk.d49ac0970dfb944d

“Normally, it’s standard 76b01e2093 practice to diagnose 1de32a292f the condition after 3c24339e63 the onset and 323816887a to a certain 2e3ff319f3 extent, but I c25a4a01fb consider your case, 70cad0bf5a Mr. Kim Wijung, an exception.”93c392de5c6a4b0b

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He was serious. As if 1b4a0ccf6c he was aa2e3b494a prepared to c958c4cab3 confine Wijung ca6e6341ad by force, 51aa512781 depending on 208738ba7a the situation.bf25176b7f623aaa

“Starting with ac1bc33bd5 the stories 6af8b11d79 from people 623fb85254 around you 66f3b5a15d about how 781b59f59b you completely 94a35c87fe changed in d6708da993 a single 26fcddd945 day, the 227d81b739 memories of 3244afdca7 being murdered, 747292a95e and the 553a8312a8 fact that 1eb49bea39 you have 4ca207e106 murderous intentions 97da175101 towards someone 8bf062d26d who looks 3902da5d34 exactly like 888e63cd84 the person dea1852aaf who murdered 96be6a6270 you, even 9f8e9fe7d6 though he’s 5a285cd3d5 not the f874a9f237 same person, b3ad262ed6 suggests a a6001d5e40 severe stage ed224c12b3 of schizophrenia.”210a38daf5cfca1f

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Schizophrenia. In the c43a94f2b3 end, even 25ace2fbf4 after coming 118dc8b3fe here for 18c18e3cc3 counseling, all 3edc20b61a he heard 2450736ebf was that 53d633262d his mental fce67d805c illness had cca3987f2c worsened. Unlike Wijung, who bb2a7e6131 felt defeated, the dd70ae2f55 doctor calmly continued e2e7457ade speaking.20d87eb43cbf4b6f

“Moreover, you 00863b4354 believe that 16149e2f31 the target 3e344b690b of your e3dc9a921e murderous intent 0bf3b4da8c actually exists. If you’ve actually harmed cb2d5b0455 him, I judge this 31499e147f to be beyond a 76ff2557ac level that can be 47bdbe7f30 overlooked.”ee729a887e2c2df4

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Wijung let 188b175e08 out a 0d9e25ff05 vague chuckle.520ce5c05a6482f7

“Doctor. Are you 2e5d1953a8 saying that f8c11730e5 it looks 6e1a2683f2 like I f0b4019068 might kill 6dcf03ec07 him someday?”1f55740dc7129a47

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“The potential 3d82e858a5 for accidental 90c27b6d79 danger is a179938859 latent in 25e269ad23 everyone.”56676a3ee087db3f

“I’m not that e671ac84eb crazy.”2e85734f02bbcc12

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“Of course. I’m not b11a4a5518 blaming you, 18042c0f85 Mr. Kim Wijung. I’m simply 160f416ade trying to 27c263cccc prevent an 0c58cd2fc8 irreversible mistake 59e6190bf4 before it 9c753e1194 happens. This prevention method fafe00ea0d is not harmful a351dad601 to you.”6b434271d527ad53

“You think ea285ca64b I’m gradually 506767edeb losing the da794b5c22 ability to 5a0785f9b6 distinguish between d7e1b4378a reality and 98db247209 illusion, right?”f83ee1c015990f31

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“Mr. Kim Wijung.”2ccf177b473fbf53

“I, fucking, think this 9f1bb664f4 situation is more of ccf58e7481 an illusion. How can d403955ffa this be 44bd75e078 reality? Why is that 4c1c0d39b3 bastard entangled with 55f7923d7e me even here? Why was 341f6b4f52 I reborn bea8eb006a if this 1c863c098d was going 9eb90154be to happen? No, why c4ecb9385a did I 05e1dd5eb1 end up d86b34423b in this 180629db6f body, Kim e076941023 Wijung? What am 070672897f I supposed 44f15b1e64 to do?”bbc5be5d04d5c850

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The doctor was silent. Wijung let out a b0954a9e1c sigh of disbelief.c19a6e435e7b71d9

In the 139d3eaef1 place where 463b7344b7 Ilya lived, ab753f814c status and 5b1258e830 power were 9949c7dab0 given from f457a7cc0e birth, and 6184d53a62 only a 4439da100e select few a53b2ff0e8 could control 33f0820819 the lives 4a0c36f2eb of others. Ironically, in 052bbbc9d1 this place, edc4df9818 anyone could cb7ee4318f become a 973d8d6968 ‘noble’ and e33721ab1b have the b682c6a7cc right to 90c05af170 ignore others, ef32191abf as long a06396f97e as they 6b9a04cbc4 passed through a4a0a06010 the gateway 59d8457f41 of education.f430a4a0bd3a0364

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Kang Kimuk was 35c5eb48f9 one of those aa827b3035 who became a 7e4f883d3b ‘noble’ in the 30f3d219aa field of medicine. With a single word 15eb3a74e9 from him, even a a51d497c43 healthy person could be f78ec3c3e7 confined and hospitalized in 23d24a9893 a mental institution. His expression as 78b2b3310e he talked about 1d8d26eedb psychosis and symptoms b05a46af03 of schizophrenia looked 41e47ea37d truly serious. He even looked e4a781cccf as if Wijung fe8fd780a5 would really become 3aa89c3c2a a murderer if f1cb56cb3d left alone like 48f6d1ac72 this.f86532594fa11fb8

Did he 82119d615a come for b3d2b8ab36 counseling for e8e91011a4 this? He relied abaf47c9ba on this 5bfd8e0e23 place because 32e43c707e there was 7f9e3a8161 nowhere else 14fd529aae to confide ecaec9ba87 in, but 8ca26f38ac in the 55ad6048be end, the dd2ef8a721 treatment he 05eeba40c8 received, being 5a7df2b067 treated like 78fc258e1a a crazy f8024bf03c person, was 25f3f87a50 the same 9ab7dd5401 inside and 1e05fb427f outside of deaa84f626 school.1ba44a46d3b37342

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“I’ll be going.”0110b6a97f2f4cfb

As Wijung rose 1e8588dd83 from his chair, 18d73b5623 Kang Kimuk blocked bbe3a5ddb6 his way.59f7656f3f543c76

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“I’ll contact your 4cc111addd guardian. How about resting 7223085996 here a bit d2ff468445 until then?”b93cc4590cc6054b

“Why? So you can put d0ecbaba2c me in a hospital 4ae44e5c72 room once you get aa8c718e5e my parents’ permission?”b1c021878a69204f

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“Mr. Kim Wijung, please b1647c5179 calm down. We will help you.”a17f47c72c748a13

“Fuck. Stop calling me 21b56c33f3 by that Kim 3af89f56da Wijung name. I’m sick of f362beb0ac it.”0c21946239ea7b8c

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After shoving aside 3005ad951d the stiff Kimuk, 86d98b702b he flung the 1d517ef2a9 door open and a6cedc88bc ran out. He heard them calling bd357006c1 the security guard on 284505a3c4 the first floor, telling 0ff0e2c9a5 them to stop him db0992a557 quickly because an agitated 1c0910bcfa patient could harm others, 57d6dca321 treating a perfectly sane c50723df78 person like a lunatic. Wijung bit his 61bb0844f5 lower lip hard.4795c388ff5ccd08

It was unfair enough that he was poisoned. It was absurd enough that his soul was transported to a strange world. Now he’s being treated like a crazy person. Even when he asked what he should do, people around him just looked at him strangely, and no one offered a plausible solution. Wijung focused his stinging eyes and pushed away the people trying to grab him.abf13bc790527cf7

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‘Should I just 08d7c14e72 die? I’ve already died 2c0b46c584 once, so I 00fcd9f858 have nothing to e2c4194441 fear, right?’a50616812d1edf7c

He ran into the 2efe15152b crowd, avoiding the hospital d12e337358 staff who were running cba79651ec after him to catch 8ef323db1a him. He bumped into people bc39070a1c walking around inside the 177826cbcb building and was cursed 0b3808fc51 at. In this d03a53644b suffocating world, 7ae877879c if he ab71b447a8 was confined 6a82289d58 in that 7c574956f9 white building, ef9968d5e0 he would e8731cd4f6 surely bite 87a1baa655 his tongue 04a50eb712 and die.e24792e8031dd0d1

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He’s going to die anyway. It doesn’t matter how he dies.0256989485ce7fb0

Nell’s cackling 598de0f44b voice echoed d6c26e4e5a among the 67d2246c30 screams of c743593779 people.8d52e027112ad186

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