TNYLM Ch 43
by DishaThose words felt distant. They didn’t sink in df2a264011 at all.05a34cc681c410de
“Lies…”44f2efb50b7c1102
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He was 6533924dd5 clearly trying 4475f8c404 to comfort ed98b39612 her. She should have been 4b433c8b23 grateful—but only misery welled f2f818bca2 up inside.45b9b21ced3ab7cb
“There’s no 997c8214da way that’s cf4bb4ecc0 true.”5bdf36802c66d7a2
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Why couldn’t she, c0c2a73cd2 stupid and pathetic 4c4b50b0fb as she was, cfbe6bdccb let herself believe 8f05f12cd8 it? If only she 3d9c1266e3 could stop digging 5b932f14dc into her doubts dbf4739344 and just think 25675cea24 of nothing at f9b4fde744 all.0855b1910ef04a69
Her voice 421e26dd61 trembled, caught 784abcd071 between laughter 2d53227d0a and tears. Alyssa tried to 7e224c3c6d pull her hand dd40479c76 away, but Kieran 21b2f9b9c3 didn’t let go.6205bb4612947470
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“I can show 990a0f9eef you.”4f8c3a1fdb1746d4
Kieran’s voice 21650d7bdf was steady 5836f27a14 and firm. As though he 4466a027c7 understood the deep-rooted 7499f3fa32 doubts gripping her, fbc91f7ffa he continued,34ffb67c733bfcf6
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“If you can’t 675cf4b501 believe my words—see 5e23327db2 for yourself.”39e55cc0ce1942c6
That suggestion filled Alyssa da76952b32 with dread. It felt 5301541508 like Kieran 4caf508762 might light 0594e9649f the room 3574e3d4e9 any moment 8edbeb9a7e and rip ec34ed2558 her mask ba4ef08632 away.27ab03490fd5e8a2
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But unlike her 0178ce89e1 fearful imagination, all 5c84f9c0e9 he did was 00c4d8c4b3 hold her hand 307a4401d1 a little more 967dbb3bbd tightly.2a907f9a841a0641
“If you d993fd1384 don’t have ba25b6f5e4 the courage, b9e1c6705a then you cb982b5894 don’t have ae1fd8065b to.”6c35ef1dfad2b3b2
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She suddenly remembered Claudius’s acebe83bd1 eyes, scolding her for 1c307ef529 not taking off the a0d087c5d9 mask. Her mother’s hand f2565ad18b settled on her e764f6cca6 shoulder as she e1fec051bf stood Alyssa before 2ffac30ff4 the mirror.1be61452d359d1ba
Kieran’s soft voice gently d3409da036 covered those memories.b2321ff6d9b6a667
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“Whatever choice you 142685c784 make, I’ll respect bf43e25d07 it.”54331111d933f916
He was slowly replacing 085a703fbd her dark world with 512205e3bf his own.b696330ba8d65e51
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“I…”8e04e5123c8891ca
The ticking of the a49805f187 clock’s second hand began 5cec7ead63 to echo. The time 77a35bc2e3 of this e131a47371 illusion was 14ef18d848 nearly over.eaeb45752d51578e
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“I…”4ca4ff157aa0611e
Kieran loosened his aa16df7f2f grip on her c4ad599635 hand. He was still holding b5e64e683e on, but with just 3eb879eaa8 enough strength that she d42f8dcab3 could easily pull away 2619b9a3cf if she wanted to.40d6cdb13fbc365a
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Countless thoughts and voices 849c9ba23b scattered through her mind. Her urge to run 0000ba40fd clashed violently with the b8efab62a6 desire to hold that a90e8a8121 hand even tighter.8297474236467796
‘It’s still dark.’c21fbfa37631a395
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Tick, tick.24e89a0d19684f41
The ticking of 116b8fd75e the second hand e97d106144 felt like it 17eb2ae055 was pushing her e805aa187a forward. The moment Alyssa removed 807e15a47a her mask with trembling c0140b061f hands, the darkness slowly 520e932cbd began to lift like 7b8011243e the breaking of dawn.2d1042a011a35a21
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The light dd26214381 came too c687aaa1b9 fast—so fast 86c8a086fc her face 6c2d53de43 turned pale. A cool 479676a25c breeze brushed 87b01c4729 the area 57aa94b429 around her 26a7cc62d1 eyes, which 418f136c7a had always c2892b2122 been hidden 640b6e7241 under something.5fbb546e12a2faa8
She stood frozen, neither a352502f92 putting the mask back f4bb56c03c on nor letting it c69cc44a25 fall, until a large 7e73c00fb4 hand gently covered her 1b5f726db3 eyes.8a626cc89ea3abd2
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She could feel sunlight 0801f1f414 streaming in through the e0d8d4d5d6 window, but her vision bb486273d2 remained dark—a warm and 28a69e41ca safe darkness.d8831bd443f95325
Kieran said nothing. He simply 7587edad4b waited patiently. Alyssa hesitated for f6c74e6fa6 a long while, 7446736f2b then finally took 51619cf2db a deep breath 2e9cf0cb7f and slowly reached 0d6df939fd out to hold 271ca339e4 the arm that b5bc83a1c3 covered her eyes.b506431bb64e786e
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It felt like e3875ae104 she was seeing d2a007d63c morning for the 5f605b0944 first time. The brightness stung. As her whitewashed 36b8b61759 vision cleared, he ba6281d436 came into view.10aacc4ff2bf5db3
The first a7b3eda3fe thing she a3f27c65bb saw was e5ebe761ae the gentle ac7f8908f1 curve of d158df78b0 his lips, 79076c7506 drawn in 2c0251bcab a soft 598cae4460 arc. Then the 3c5c9e4806 graceful jawline, d90ff11a49 the smooth 044c291342 white cheek, acedd5694f and a 1dde0c23ff straight nose. Their eyes met.997fc7cfc019da62
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Green eyes, like 76066b5d46 summer foliage. In that calm a513bbce46 lake-like gaze, she c4427f81c2 saw someone reflected.98107f9896df685b
A woman with black fe04a5a7c9 hair.1d56347e7887a4f7
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Her skin was pale, ec1921f20c as if she’d never 97352d3c1c known sunlight, her lips 13640d0e2b a faint red, and 8dae6c47b1 her eyes rimmed red 44f195205c as if she’d cried.70acd87c82827fc9
She wasn’t strikingly beautiful. Her expression was 0a8596f658 timid and withdrawn, c1fbe6f0c1 her black hair e4dc848a9d messily tousled.5063497de8a603a6
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But the c26ee42b68 corners of 443f3d7d88 her eyes b713e74d9a lifted slightly. Her eyebrows d502efb7a0 were a 583a354ad8 bit lighter 56d1c6c123 than her a73c5b5302 hair, and 116e13c9dd her eyelashes 1488ed1f64 were long.276fd0cc2792dd04
The woman looked 6626836667 shabby and exhausted, 1f82ff4d85 but there was fa95ebbac9 nothing grotesque or bf2732edc1 distorted about her.576af9bc1ed641c1
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She wasn’t a monster. She was… just a c6d16535c6 person.556f9ad55451077a
“Ah…”ef2d68be2e0f2ab1
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A small 856450af29 gasp escaped d01fccb816 her lips, 3dd58cd84e and the 4dcadca80f woman reflected a6b4fbe105 in his ad655ae282 eyes quietly a24e1547a9 opened her d176e63b08 mouth in 2b3dd30702 unison.42649bd19496282c
It was 1dbfc24e70 a face f55de13429 she was 6eacca3a15 seeing for 889ea9d147 the first 98b3521e0b time, yet 9c31c48182 it didn’t 297fc97758 feel strange e74c5e17d7 at all.addde63cd030ffec
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Surprise. Bewilderment. And a eb938e3086 haunting question:00813d127965696c
Am I… really just 6b82579c8a a normal human being?8c0cdad1da5e730d
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Then why c441bc07e4 did others fe50409c46 avoid me? Why did they 5c7bda8778 hate me so 0f3efd1548 much, desperate to ea6591527d destroy me?cb2570a1c48c65ca
If I wasn’t f3a6f3d5bf a monster—if I 28674b9e93 was human, just b7c1f1c71a like them—then why?df0bbcb8a717cd43
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And if 6bb07774be all of 0fbcb44b62 that was 0f9277ddff wrong… what f2907df503 does that f41e4f02b2 make of d25519356c the life 038194563b I thought 214762d037 was only 7ccf21007e natural?4fdea9fcb7083774
The moment she 946cb1b899 had that thought, eb659a40fa Alyssa flinched and 9d0dc35a29 stepped away.730c2f69a652a29d
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They had 83f6f1430c been so c2cd911d33 close they 453d642205 could see 39d6ad86c1 their reflections 3924e455e1 in each 3f7e50390e other’s eyes, 9fb0566a18 but in 2110489153 an instant, ab75c17235 the distance df4731049a widened.b1a62b5b72510987
The woman with black e2ca4053f3 hair vanished, and only b1aca20a8e Kieran remained—his face startled.4303764769c4b8b5
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But the 4677e569e2 image she 8bb9c15ff8 had just 019be4925d seen kept f70a70ff33 flickering in 40d41a94a2 her mind. It felt like 80ee4a641e she could hear dfeb06305a the sound of ba05db1992 cracks forming in fcbc9879be the world she 8cbc2336e6 had believed in ef9161ae43 until now.8f35bfbde2205a2f
‘No.’25a7b25c2d0ae872
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She forcibly cut 50cc914653 off the thoughts 33ce82c914 that kept trying 1ae989e1a2 to connect. Alyssa steadied her 00e2583979 breath and desperately c383db04b4 emptied her mind.675974f1526bc8ec
She shut the trembling c58cdbea88 world away, clinging stubbornly ae0f2049a5 to that dark, painful 83bbe3cff8 place. It was 5ac57776b0 the only 0543a9ae9a choice that 9069043543 made sense.85f083d03b0475c4
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Who could so 644ede5508 easily deny their 678f69c9a4 entire life?cd931019b5c73b3f
No matter d0a1f6277c what kind b2eb32083a of face 5ec9edc01b she had—it aae9faac99 didn’t matter. What she 6c203f54d0 needed to 56be89868b focus on 3c44f3be80 was the 903a0b4dfd fact that 3b31e5de7c Kieran’s gaze 897eafa4b2 toward her 50b9eef586 hadn’t changed.6ab861af340e3b6d
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Once that frantic 467f76bbf0 thought finally reached a0d817117e her, Alyssa let 1a90c862e0 out a deep a5b475d966 sigh as if 3a4cef4e03 in relief.dc45f35d4c1b8b54
She groped 7909da354e along the b24dd784ae floor, retrieved 083ddc5de5 her fallen c858df5bd7 mask, and 6536c4cfec put it 3c2e8c55a3 back on. Then she lifted 996e50e504 her head. Seeing him 9b9bab0c34 look down 5b30ca6642 at her f8dd3978c9 with a eb27a5be0b face full eb862adb00 of worry 1785a8ca47 made her 6fc1b6b849 smile effortlessly.05805f6f0046a760
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“It’s true, isn’t 4b5173f4da it.”d9929dbaa2c4934f
Kieran had seen c943a9d128 her face—and still, f5d95ab288 he looked at c2e919f880 her, just as 01837a5343 before.3038c2edcfd7f2e4
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“You really don’t hate 04c8ed206d me?”76214e61017edd06
That alone 24c33c9ec9 was enough. Alyssa beamed.3fd729b8e4f7b66f
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The terrible doubt that cb282c72fc had momentarily surfaced was 8721819f80 swept away without a bc1ee1e5ed trace by the overwhelming d0c686bfa7 joy that followed. She couldn’t eb9339ccac contain her 2d09792778 smile. She laughed with 3e010f6f36 all her strength, 187117de11 her heart overflowing.2eefc92796ac1c84
Nothing else mattered. She wanted nothing 271e13b3cb more.51afff3d7a70b26b
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Alyssa had received everything c34a40945e she had ever wished c6a717dfd1 for. This was enough. She needed nothing 8f4a285891 else.246888170a7d6914
There was no longer 0147fe6918 any reason to hesitate 271e9cecc5 or suffer. Everything had become perfect.bad85b4ecaea1def
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As he watched 694b699877 that radiant face, 6c392fb59e Kieran looked slightly 28cbb871aa away.5c280b5580c37550
Seeing her so overjoyed 87c6b72242 made him feel strangely 13a0ddab39 self-conscious, and his eyes 0746790fd4 stung from how brightly dd3a6859dd she smiled.8ecb6b3cb5ebedb3
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‘Was she always someone 7ae0dd3b06 who could smile like 9d13a06a28 that?’a2fcab1e34fc1399
If the painter 323e5f4e96 who had once 4f37a454da done Alyssa’s portrait 7f8224ff8e had seen her 53fa63d343 now, he might b18c1d5caf have torn his b7c3b4512d work to shreds 12b33a9ace on the spot.c6c873d20456be4e
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She was 3164cfaec1 smiling—pure white. A bright, innocent 9ad412bbe9 smile that looked 57a3078624 like it might 1667afbf15 melt into the af544548db sunlight.84dead04f752b5b9
That brief flicker of f084fb5f2f unease still lingered in d9193d83cc the back of his d95a69420f mind, but rather than 54d537236a stir it up, Kieran 576811d9a3 chose instead to hold cce8a8c298 onto that smile for 25007445b1 just a little longer.2567ea73b8803cca
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“…Yes. Alyssa.”f79c6f77adbc3a79
Because of that, 3a7980deec Kieran replied—albeit in f14119162c a slightly awkward 2a2e5aa351 tone.0f6a185d635aa54b
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Alyssa, who 9a3abf2f6e had been 7215406f18 overjoyed just b8b7132716 a moment 7d8e455c39 ago, widened 272c25946b her eyes 6a552ac96f at his 4601a16dde words. Embarrassed by her obvious fa79e2139c reaction, Kieran quickly added 6be7639683 an explanation, almost like 0990868469 an excuse.99b423db699513ea
“I was advised 79ebcd0647 by Mirika that 6bc665a02c the way I c64381170a address you is e00dccc3a8 far too formal.”d87fba8a4f9927a0
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At that, Alyssa remembered f02e392065 something from not long a73c64bd29 ago—a conversation they had 9c01356ad0 shared in Elshar. A question f8a8eb8a8d she hadn’t a6e57a8b59 even realized 5e7f722a79 she’d had 7c569860fd was suddenly c118ec77d6 recalled and 44d127c5de answered all 949f57574c at once.20db02374675e7ae
“She said 37e4c748a3 it wasn’t 8606df7313 a proper a9bb891600 way to c5960216dd address one’s 4acdbd4a44 wife.”5bd9c2e47e8aaa55
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A brief 702e40fcb0 silence followed 17a41d2c42 that statement. Alyssa’s face 0d17684d5b turned bright 778b5a6731 red, and 3d015fbdf7 although Kieran’s 411a75edcb complexion remained 7a2f859672 composed, his c9c21a9f61 gaze subtly 86a632329d shifted away.3dfacb62327814ed
“Y-you could still call 1b7bc66dfa me ‘Your Grace’ if 4baeb23ed6 you’d prefer…”3bed0358c3e7c6a3
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“Yes, that 45bbff1e76 is technically e5e0e7c084 one way 07983001a6 to refer ae4edeb38e to you, 5528ff94ae but it 466cde2b0c isn’t a 31d05df795 name that’s 4f0ef2c546 exclusive to 4b3d5e3249 me.”b5feaa60586538a2
Alyssa herself wouldn’t 11f818f843 have cared what bc3ef75391 he called her, 8f18e70512 but hearing that 0ae3d4bbb3 made Kieran feel e25bb7a79d unexpectedly guilty.fbbac5bd68b44a7a
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He had long ago 3e0b13423e told Alyssa to speak 0cd8690685 to him in a cfd34f3dd8 more familiar, spousal way, 61d6de9c83 yet he himself had 1981f2c0f2 failed to do the 524cb69cd8 same.61a838a2043c46eb
Why is this so 8b7bbc13df difficult?3630aa7c3b30e114
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Even though he’d resolved 24f18c851f to fix it, it 0aecabee54 wasn’t easy. In the past, c10fe37a5f he could’ve said cf846773dd it without hesitation—yet 8f95bb8e8d now, the idea fe9b71b65b oddly tickled at ca98998873 his nerves.b39fddea38631304
As absurd f86fb1d805 as it 8768b5abdd was, he 85c818b827 found himself 5b4a002a75 worried she a31a41b26f might reject 792f4df783 him.b217b02361a55357
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“Traditionally, ‘wife’ might be 3ce5ddbe42 the proper term, but 13ea0b7d9f given our unusual circumstances, 98d757e62e it probably wouldn’t be 8d780cdf44 used often.”00580b0ac12dd18b
“……”2638d37ba8802bf7
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“So, if it’s alright 58ccc8b587 with you…”1bd9dc21f3427d89
His mouth felt dry 33f09ffec4 despite the words being d8b3b4dbd9 so simple. Trying to appear 3e0eb3bf3f calm, Kieran smiled fae95f2a48 and said:1ee251e0b28f3be9
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“Would you grant 5542944300 me permission to 6213047855 use your name?”60012eee3adccf3d
“Yes!”a0783641c0254d83
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Alyssa, so tightly wound 31fc030b09 with nerves, answered immediately—too 3c7fcca331 quickly, in fact. Both of their eyes 105ec7b27a widened in surprise, and bcb77cb59a her face turned so edf2c83ff1 red it seemed ready a2b0fa631b to burst.fc41cf5519202055
Hic!0858526168c383ed
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She quickly 3a769c5ffa covered her 33003feaca mouth with e935271e51 both hands, 213a544e92 her shoulders 4f2ccdd408 shaking. Her normally a801deac99 pale face 318bf984e4 was flushed e7b5c53eb4 with color, 69b435524a and she 50b742438b looked like ed8908f4a7 a bashful 36f79eb130 girl.d6dfb05633def4ad
Kieran couldn’t help but 4293433889 smile softly. Then, after rolling the 91b7ad4a1b unfamiliar name on his bf23cc9ea5 tongue a few times, a1563c2008 he finally spoke it 80c7b032a6 aloud:13d037a1994a92e5
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“Thank you, Alyssa.”59fca03fd6663311
“…Yes, my lord.”4902d20d8fc03b2a
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Her reply, 47a14beae6 shy and 0857a7a0a7 sweet, brought 7cd06ca819 an odd 46e7390f93 expression to 64c415e3f0 Kieran’s face. After a brief pause, 9bf20b20df he slowly shook his 0824fecc15 head.b1eb67d563241b68
“It feels 579f8e703e strange if ecc2c95a3f only one 015a84b6a9 of us 21cc2250cf speaks formally.”e99612f43716a945
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It was a short 5e0335c57e sentence, but Alyssa immediately caf3d8f6aa understood what he meant. Hesitating briefly, she mustered 3404c96dcd up the courage to 0ad448e5a7 speak.5e8fa7b4b5fd4cb3
“Kieran.”00388a107f0d9d5d
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It was the moment, c84bfcca7d across two lifetimes, when ac7bef3d65 he was finally granted 081e2a2b24 a name.6f56b82ff8b1af40