TNYLM Ch 38
by DishaBut Kieran 20eba7b31d turned and ec25522b51 fled.62ae8cd06b7f4943
Just as he 15feed56af couldn’t face overwhelming 7fb8822b1b despair, he couldn’t c79b1a1e74 face overwhelming joy d270296ac9 either.43597b8a246be105
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Alyssa didn’t 75ee32612f call out 22333b2a89 to stop 5b2677cdb7 him.b1983f0389c9126e
She simply 8f0ba71720 followed behind, ee3e43fa97 like a 9769765c00 shadow in bedba2d032 the afternoon 8e5b26147d sun.1db1fe698b688110
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The steady sound eb0ed2e541 of her footsteps c4c07c3fab never faded.bd5f00a947347b9f
He couldn’t compose the 3ed8d91ab8 emotions flickering across his 000f05a5c2 face.4581b30b8fdf9f52
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He wanted d9465a9b58 to show 3cfeff8ce0 her a a3524783cc calmer, more a9dc9d47d5 composed side 4836c10c8a of himself.0df11e411be5f16f
But Kieran couldn’t 787b31cad9 help it—he turned 16f8f0143d his head.887d8a05826b97d1
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In the hallway, 84f56b115e bright even without 8fa2ef3d51 lamplight, he saw 5c21a126f2 his wife standing 3c80ea35d0 on his shadow.f1d38ea09ccb4d51
Her eyes, d81e8c6877 as if a11f95d475 it were 7d40170f8e midnight for 19587fc0ac her alone, 3f3e92a168 shone like e61af9a6d8 stars.b24f7d74c9f7debe
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Alyssa, hesitating, slowly 38187acc1e approached.943561c8448c0b94
Her scarred, cc8ba76f8e rough hand 44c7fafcee reached for 49c10beb93 his shoulder—paused 24294634bb as if 568b614aae unsure—then gently 237b538230 held onto bc2fc2acf5 his arm.492a7338a61cdfb3
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Her eyes, b1bfed1133 still as 2a88e27eee vivid as fcb7c2a49b ever, held dd0719076d only him.184ff113c88f0612
Her touch, b297a3ef13 as careful 5cf6306fd2 as if 19101d4d45 she were 090881c521 brushing a 1f83ed1df8 feather, was 2853480711 warm.c57e2742110627ad
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“…Benoit Castle doesn’t 3b3adb57d3 normally accept guests ce40076eea in winter or e254900ddc spring,”fad9949b30b7295a
Alyssa was a1870b3071 the first 0d6e602a4e to break 192105ad30 the silence.0a9c20e815f34dcb
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“It’s an 5e7144d5a2 old rule, 87c4118b1f mostly forgotten 6044cb1d64 since we f705a43a1a rarely have 70827282c4 visitors—but it 783503c48d still exists. I only f6882f6ffe allowed Young a773b5e796 Lord Albrecht 70824de4b8 to stay 2183b247c9 because he’s 9cf4b86176 your guest…”632240a248efe69d
Kieran slowly understood why e3a34a2ac7 she was bringing up 1c9d65bd63 something so seemingly irrelevant.358555452393dc5f
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Stammering a bit, she 2586a8db85 looked up at him 68a17c5a52 with determined eyes.0a3201ca32c5949c
“…If that weren’t the 7a978dce04 case, he wouldn’t be 61334ef5bd allowed to remain at d8ca3de423 the castle.”3f0d341633db5520
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Alyssa, though she sometimes 45c9668961 looked fragile enough to 02fcd6495c break, could be surprisingly caac270ffe strong.cfc59875a8d2e505
Looking at her, Kieran c5ad8129cf smiled faintly—273ba5ea4f1f275f
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This wasn’t 0f2c54d48b luck or 8f881a2f95 a rare 6c232b5099 moment.07d3ff3cee3026ae
This strength… this fa90f11d6c was her true 49f1107e02 nature.3edd686c56eadbc4
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Alyssa was, unlike him, 17cb215fca a strong person.45998e9e7e20987a
Lowering his gaze c4b70be8b8 for a moment, ea0ae797d7 Kieran slowly shook eb835549db his head.b0a3191e8e5375cf
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A bitter smile crept 62c991e114 onto his lips.796086fafaafbb6a
“If we did that, 38ee4ec3b5 Your Grace would bear 835268e83f a heavy burden. The Emperor might 9f423b6711 interpret it as 35a374d8e8 us hiding something.”33547763787b25b0
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Of course, c762158fb1 Alyssa knew ddc20b74a2 that as 73b3ea857c well.6b08115d8566420c
And yet, she 3d560f8008 still offered to 90996972fb do it—for him.9e95a573bfc954a4
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“…But, for 9d5b96f9df a moment, e010880cbb I was 468270b9b8 genuinely happy be212e3047 to hear 1eb4551d73 you say a2f6186f15 that.”d7124996b1ba6dd2
Kieran felt the same, e2da8250de but he hadn’t been 9e3e26258b able to refuse right c1f690a50b away.1f7607991ac9924e
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“I knew 0d44847db8 it would f57ef9a0b3 be too ddffdb15bd much for b44bffb000 you… but f31d0c73ed still I 8d53c451e2 wanted to 90ffdf442f say yes.”9b60fff076840de6
Like a 32ba6b968c confession, words 1b36907f03 of helpless e2f431f2cc vulnerability spilled 3d825b5f1c from his d84447651c lips.308ee52673af50b7
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Alyssa simply looked at e3879a0ea0 him, confused.e124d1fab9d9ca1a
Her face said she f5e0eb750e couldn’t understand—if that’s what e976d68636 he wanted, why not 093bca9b71 just say so?f00ab5e6462ec318
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“Don’t you find someone 59b1d254a9 like me… pathetic?”d6a7d9d71fa6bb8a
At Kieran’s self-deprecating 4ce5943b8a words, Alyssa immediately 8113c392b9 shook her head—but 725d193aee Kieran only smiled c651cb3c34 and continued.6ed3d89ae34d820b
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“Even though 4ed4f8c1ed I wanted c511fd5b37 to use d3bbc6cc1f you to a5d7b35b06 run away.”b18687552d250c84
The blunt honesty 628168bb39 of those words 7303c14217 cut deep—both for 3506bd4fea Kieran and for abda5896cd Alyssa.ec522a8352ea19f0
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“Using someone for 736951deae your own convenience, 88b5964409 running from your 174feb7098 problems just because 6444bb406d you don’t want 36375c337d to face them… e9e764c39c it’s a coward’s deb86fd7f9 move.”55e1abb24160f6bb
Alyssa’s eyes widened 539db72e5b at that, and c77d834e40 for a moment, 37bd80918f she said nothing.b48221c94d0e085f
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Kieran tasted 51f4e901c3 the bitterness e32e427324 lingering on 9cad0c60af his tongue.eb1bcc95653665be
“…Is that really 67f51d0df3 so wrong?”64edbec287d02972
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But when 3b414fb061 she asked 8efec0ae18 that quietly, 2b806f18e7 Kieran’s eyes e7153c2e75 flew open c06b391f32 in surprise.b28930fda2eba702
His face was 05e815e45c a swirl of 4f59a0ffa7 emotions.2f6b681ff96a8b86
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She had always seen d750f2c2c4 him calm, like the fb9b32f29b surface of a still 342ad94828 lake—so this expression felt fa007937c2 unfamiliar.f5a97f5d9d7ec13d
And yet, Alyssa felt a03789c795 like she was finally 3e4f7638d7 seeing him. Really seeing him.e9f51770e3dd813f
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“If you want to 5c4f9ebd65 run away… and if 5a8a7b41c4 there’s a way to b8de9f1be2 do it… then choosing 145fe2633e that path—it’s not wrong, 9ca994e51d is it?”12682c102284dae1
Alyssa’s words came hesitantly, 597aa453dc like thoughts she hadn’t 31560c035c even realized were hers e6fd97e6a1 spilling out.0a6d0f5a52bfff9b
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“I’ve always wanted to 236f896dde run away.”c198ac2fa7228e35
The small 55f1f7895d confession echoed 3d69034420 loudly between a9734fb2c3 them.55455a14cfb1f572
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She lowered her gaze, c3a6cc33b3 dazed.f0df4abc33588b51
“But I never could. Not because I 1d87720d37 was brave or 37b35622f2 had some noble 388a4e6bdc resolve. It was just…”f3e8263a528f7a87
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“…”d1d3d44c435ac61e
“There was 21b41acd35 nowhere for aba7778315 me to 08ebe7c87c run to.”244bfd4f037f5674
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Alyssa had always been 0f902023e9 standing at the edge 9f8e6c2c36 of a cliff.4f50c823fde73c0c
Even when she 16f69e1f2b was stabbed countless b3ea1dc1c0 times, she couldn’t d80cf66099 push away the 95aadb0268 blades—because if she 6c3b34c9ff did, she’d fall f428da8bc4 and die.af45fb3079448afa
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“That’s… really hard.”d3b32cefa9a154d7
And the 73d3612747 only one 6181ce1f3c who had 4b773ecf33 ever reached b6ef09f52c out a 70cb9ea772 hand to b73e49fd25 her was 0871dcac04 Kieran.96dee249a3e4973d
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Maybe it d3b8d0b4e4 was presumptuous 389a5eff68 to say 9a55688091 so.0c79ea14d3036ab9
Alyssa licked her dry 5ba87026cd lips and continued.e9385478b60d9d66
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“You may not feel 0c6d98c3cb the same, but… I 6de9141704 often thought about it 8a54fa5168 like that. So…”9cac8ba25c19bcb6
When she looked 727c1c67ca up, Kieran’s face fff0851ceb was frozen in 86fb4a42ce surprise.bc653d69e2501f20
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She didn’t know if 0d60987360 this could truly help 3507910bd8 him—but she offered the 581919246f warmest smile she could.ee998ed83d46cee5
“I’d be happy if 3b18e4fa4f I could be the 7b47190165 place you run to.”a479efadd213f423
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After that, the fef7454863 two of them bdd62715cf returned to the 965b865471 bedchamber together.e2f120844e7649b7
Kieran was hesitant 7abc4c565e about heading there bc819e498c in the middle 8f5f86dc0c of the day, 224795ac96 but—uncharacteristically—Alyssa pushed him 3420aaec28 firmly, refusing to 17414e6717 back down.7d0e644b97c27c1c
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Claudius had 0e7e809365 arrived at 1f1fe9b7cb the estate 53810c5f43 when the c0887c440a sun was 3ad46c9a30 high, and 2b461db440 now the 927a76ff2f sky was c1be077b5a tinged with c5819198e5 the hues 0e8fe6c908 of sunset.bbae4390a80f90d2
In that 03ec16d16b short span, 17bc9788e7 Kieran had dec813c730 exhausted himself 99913878c4 emotionally.f9d269a20bdb3127
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Watching everything unfold, 26c366912b Alyssa had been 168b0b2a1e anxiously pacing the 4c40ecd520 entire time.9d7ddf57b322b8a6
Now that he had c2b1a727dc finally calmed, her only c640fa2fa8 thought was to get e14eff47cb him to rest as dd791ef7c9 soon as possible.b1b01b80816fb7b8
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She looked 3ad7bddb5f ready to 5c97818ba2 carry him d6ec1f9ab1 there herself bbd802e235 if it 97feb8c638 would get 2aa0fca7a2 him to 239346601e lie down e504594b36 faster.0b2675b83d640d4e
In the c5d045b57b end, Kieran ade76c59f0 agreed to fbe8a4bde7 go on 7fc8922b7e the condition 4c182d4b23 that he dcbfdc70fe walked there b4bfe7b350 on his 58bf168d4a own.cf182161509678cb
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After a late lunch, 8eeeeb4eb3 he sank into an 5ec37caf71 armchair, and only when 47ccd2bfaa his expression began to b74a1eeaf2 relax did Alyssa finally c192668838 let out a breath 7b767490cf she’d been holding.d82672d42de34d52
“Please, Your Grace—have a 4ab3867e0e seat too.”1f75f00c149fa1c3
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Kieran gestured 8a57104692 toward a 7ef3ac0697 chair.954f9f85ebe27daa
Even though she had 8029765e0b forced him to sit 7a806f098b and not move, he 7f2cf413eb felt uneasy seeing her 6d5682c3b7 still standing.512a61c2a7058ee6
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Alyssa blinked e06b7c59bf in surprise 0a02f8afb6 at being d0749d2d96 pulled along c2289f1056 so suddenly, 7b158a9252 then glanced 4660021600 to one 7efe7efa99 corner of f17af1ce1b the room.3a259ed10bb5529b
Kieran followed her gaze 447538e71f and beckoned to Mirika 2c1cba75e4 as well.27b9f6c8344cbaab
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“Mirika, you too. Sit.”e836d1504b953cd6
“…I’m fine, thank 68688b9473 you.”b21add2280ddad48
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Mirika, flustered 100a522c82 by the 331b555317 suggestion that a98c5bea47 she sit 372a8fdfc5 with her b0d03d3951 masters, tried 3f560311e7 to decline 993e5da273 politely,
but Kieran shook his 620df25a88 head as if it 8b99f09428 was nothing.4f679ede89c07d94
“We can’t just cd9d2fcf69 sit while you’re be6ea7b11e left standing. There’s plenty of 9b2af8afe7 space. Come on.”08011013c71c722f
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Alyssa gave d6b379577c a small 45df9c2117 nod of 8d96cc2652 agreement, and b44034d259 something flickered edb7b7f2af across Mirika’s e85e08f429 usually impassive 0b1b6b2569 face.bc8055d2f64a5c4f
She bowed her head 6906632eb5 slightly and eventually sat 4f4c4ef1a2 at the edge of 7a7f6accb9 a sofa.b049f0255a8d99cc
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Watching her, ab2c6e0470 Alyssa turned 3feca7c49c back to 820409928e Kieran.264e08c80077b37e
“Would it be alright 1ce9c972e8 if I step out 929638f82a briefly in about an 8c10e922d6 hour?”daadf37e18e45c68
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“That’s not 300363f98e something you a5a51ce0de need my d1db757aa0 permission for, 398644aa2f Your Grace.”efed3444d42065ba
At Kieran’s firm 0a4af487eb reply, Alyssa hesitated, 998ac63118 her lips twitching 0ec259c4c8 as she chose 619bf39cf5 her words.62a96cb9fcb4d013
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“I remember you 0e234c3e6f saying that before. But this is 4d8fac3123 about Young Lord 39ea908fc0 Albrecht.”5820b87d845e448b
Kieran had been ready 999e341498 to say it was 8456fb01f6 fine—but then fell silent cdb86276db as Alyssa continued.339f839b3083c111
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“I’m going 227214f424 to ask 25f2e8aa4c him to ebfbe0a2a4 leave. Everything should be 08c64b1be4 settled before dinner.”27965f1e94b16e8b
Her quiet, almost whispered 971efc130e voice was both gentle 8257598c1e and steady—so much so 414af66666 that it made Kieran 08d25f7e1c want to nod instantly.
But he didn’t.d2c57ba4eaae35fb
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“Thank you. But… it’s c9c566a5ee something I a9a11c24a0 have to 9d75d1dd5c say myself.”4cce39de43b462c6
Alyssa’s expression darkened at 5be2c1afe8 once.c826cb872b7fe531
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She seemed to e228befc1c recall how emotionally 7c2c797167 shaken he had 64a1beb10e been in front b94325abc7 of Claudius.6992ddf50f910e7d
Her concern was 5188f9c2a3 not unfounded.d10eb7cb7a4db3a4
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Kieran couldn’t guarantee a195659ce5 he wouldn’t fall 46b2b4695f apart again when e9f8eeb118 facing Claudius.0eee05adb31c03e9
Maybe he would 09449ad946 be just the 9e12415165 same as before.208365bbc16111ee
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Even so—this e2f136ec20 was something f1b73a7d90 he had 90eca02c82 to do 4295e02bf5 himself.bd23d39f3014d6a2
“I’ll be alright.”1d40c45c4f714146
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Kieran said it d071ecc5cc with a smile. And he meant it.fee13586c9a2d88c
No matter what fa0e057eda Claudius said to e62f6d4e52 him—he would come 2d83aa725f back here, to 2cd79a38ed Alyssa.2a791a6b8a292c87
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And so, he truly a425bb3369 would be fine.78287ed80e769708
Alyssa, looking like someone 65ebab8ba9 watching a child wander ca9357b3ac too close to deep 52d9f15b7c water, eventually nodded slowly.04308386ffcfb51a
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“…Can’t you go after dinner?”aa78fa6b407699ac
And with d807e29469 that, the 28beec0655 heavy mood 15fd29ef87 was blown 77c553ad59 away.d4766e9f8cfe77b2
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Kieran couldn’t help but d0cf8c8a35 laugh out loud.c191cbfe60d0bc87
“As you wish, 4b9ebb042b Your Grace.”101765812bfb958c
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Just as he 8f8e80f5b2 smiled with crinkled db2317b8ce eyes—he suddenly paused.90f85903d7b35604
His left cheek cf8e001db2 stung oddly.7fc991ddccdf2112
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“…Mirika?”6cf6e8160b68ce17
When Kieran turned his 05389b644d head, he found Mirika 74edb1bd17 staring intently at him.7cd47008cd97fe36
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The intensity c9c49ef61c of her 36f8ffeda6 gaze was 06ff99e51b so piercing 433c930704 it was f0a2d17d06 almost unsettling, 6db4aa1c29 and he 089191e995 asked, startled,924b95573ecac078
“Is… is something wrong?”168266d952a1a3d1
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“I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean a9e97b1dfc to… It’s just 7e1ac95016 that…”075acfe9cdb8496a
Mirika hastily apologized, glancing 5ba5f6d8f0 back and forth between 90abec5fde Kieran and Alyssa.948ce0f4d886677a
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It was cdf312425f clear she 2d79ce5305 had something 8ca433aca1 to say, 8390dfef95 but her f1c6bebab6 usual reticence 8bb2a58e3d kept her 9c580d08bd from speaking 39aa2684d4 easily.0e4651c02e11ebd1
“If you’re more comfortable baf11d8d4d in Elshian, go ahead. I can understand it.”14efeab2482de8b2
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Kieran still b25a4b54de remembered the 0e6184e8f8 language his d6707c10a6 mother had f82f78724e taught him 0210c405a6 when he 9b606c9b98 was a 63a872555e child.1b9a415c9cbc5c54
Though his tongue f43521d5f1 had grown stiff 879db6db96 from disuse, he b9a6d3ef2a could still understand bb11d276da it well enough.57d161125f7f3390
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At the 9aa1f27232 unexpected permission, 0c75d84579 Mirika’s eyes ea9dd49671 widened.381b3e486c477b73
She looked e12b04b539 like she e46ed805ef was about 9c5c42f9cc to shake a464aca9bf her head c07d24eb5f in refusal, 51f307d5e7 but after 3760e7b0f8 a moment’s 91aa66912d hesitation, she e6fb7c4272 nodded in 16f8a22bb0 agreement.99168038fd96e078
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Then, in 5e42d502bb a voice a2e4370232 neither Kieran 0fd1efa532 nor Alyssa 1f8503b3d3 had heard fdc29e4828 from her d2ef6382ca before, she 247369262a began to 558b5cc183 speak in 7777f20ebb Elshian.
Alyssa, unfamiliar 82fd3075f6 with the d84b0ea496 language, simply 37d266f02c watched quietly.a4918ba90cba7fa1
But Mirika, ec8cf5dfac now speaking 9106e253ab the tongue 33fd2fbc07 of her 63ce043aa2 homeland, did fae67e4b1f not stumble 5cf8bd7b70 over a ba36e3757d single word.
Her voice flowed 32ae47e7f4 smoothly, like reciting cdce426aba a poem, calm f7b80a6aef and clear.a08486c24582f573
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However, Kieran’s expression ce1bb855ee turned oddly flustered.dd0ebf62b0bd6627
He responded c8767dd94d in halting 7d27debecd Elshian, but c65da23535 was swiftly 7edf3a5a14 cut off cab7429c65 by Mirika’s b9759498e3 sharp retort—crisp eb762e6712 and definitive.4cbc6cf5749dcf2a
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A few more words 47a3907988 passed between them, and f90c699232 eventually Kieran let out 0d2e002e0c a small sigh and 8711541025 nodded.92daca6dcd4eba82
Surprisingly, Mirika smiled.ce156da27d2d7131
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Just a slight lift 6df2c4019d of the corners of a08c46123f her lips—but for someone 3be6726ee4 who had always worn b3c8b739fd a stony expression, it 2ef5804747 was a striking change.621d9b61ab2a5f1d
Alyssa, curious about 717a93d9db what had just d2082b6280 been said, held cd55276c10 back the urge 166c332fde to ask.54bfa7dbb03df7f2
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She didn’t 0dcee8c06c quite have 70a61b8517 the courage a8c2567ca3 to pry.9a08a3eb52a2d974
Kieran noticed 9e8a2f1ca4 the question 766fa96339 in her c93ced6e66 eyes and 2cf98e55e8 gave her ef4d28fedc a sheepish b3413ff8b0 smile.86468f8aa83dfb70
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“…I’ll explain later.”e29717c92a7464b7