The Lady You Want to Kill 4. Felix Ember (4/39)

4. Felix Ember

Time passed neither too f334b4e170 slowly nor too quickly. Once a week, Beatrice 9eb35f8404 would have tea or 3c61e005be a meal with the 81bf069b6d Duchess. Her eldest brother, Calrex, 6889e2cb47 who was perpetually busy, 4e755178ef would occasionally inquire about 2f47d33560 her well-being, while her b5d0daaaf3 second brother, Felix, often 1f4835b704 barged into her room 0ff7f6334e whenever he was bored.f3503fa5430dbd35

Despite his admission 2f8cfc049c into the Imperial 2ac4562eac Knights, Felix seemed 23d38e825e to have plenty 013095a241 of free time. ‘Doesn’t he have 34c7c3c013 a country to a1091687cf protect?’ she often 85c6d9d91b wondered as he ba9ff9c4ab showed up far da81990d92 too often for 4b5ed5eb5d someone supposedly busy.a13f5df36e424e9c

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Beatrice sealed dbea43c4ab two letters, d5fdff4272 one for 5356529bc6 Florianne and 59990b9b0d the other fedaaeb468 for the 36d4863d05 Duke of 0f9506da6d Marques, and 15eacc8f15 handed them ff6a523032 to Laura. She then glanced 755c443da1 at the man 2e29cd5e62 lounging comfortably on 4af806c6cf the sofa opposite 5c3aad8f06 her desk, sipping a2bcec848e tea.41f57e50590c708c

“Another day off?” c2d1e534fc she asked.6b604fa76f08ce7a

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“I still train every 731c0de7b1 day, but it’s hectic 9606a46b56 with the debutante ball 32443e21d3 preparations. There’s not 47208cfc73 much for 5f6d5d1fa8 me to 58b03d42c4 do. I’m still low-ranking, 3b2553d28b after all.”69fb8abfcf033dff

“I see.”770b8bcca3370b35

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“Why, don’t you want eab3d20f0a me to visit?”16259f00ff76b5eb

“You’d come regardless.”5cc2a229a224d6ea

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“True. You know me 57f837adf2 well.”159879b29c1dd634

It was true that ae492e324c Beatrice had spent many 7a82618ab2 lifetimes dealing with Felix, e431634739 but his overly simple edef786adb thought process made it 1b672bdf2b easy for anyone to e708159fc7 figure him out after cd67c952ef just a few hours ae057e05a7 together. Still, she 5ffedd2063 refrained from 18ff2e1916 pointing this 6d928e08ed out. Instead, she stood 374511cfe3 and sat on 15de5ad9da the sofa opposite dab6adebda him. Laura, having delivered the 628cca88ad letters to another servant, 0ebaee1a09 poured Beatrice’s tea and 9b59387156 set it before her.49eb3e19643ff36a

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As Beatrice calmly 224491c9dc drank her tea, 514d9756b6 she felt Felix’s 4d3c85df29 piercing gaze on f594e0b936 her. He had a 29d50e6142 habit of showing f4f14997f4 up, talking about 8c9a0a7b93 whatever was on bd62e747fa his mind, staring 294c9a004d intently at her b38bee2cea for a while, c8af739cfc and then leaving. She didn’t understand 5b56d33cd8 his behavior, but ced666af6e she found it 7aafd1cdab easier to simply 33ba10dc71 let it be.1ab63363195f2c2c

“You really are a 5b494b01b2 strange one,” he muttered.94ddbefa9b54cc35

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“Am I?” she 574f431514 replied.0c13f398353c1727

“I’ve heard 3a16a3dfd7 bits and 2926531948 pieces from 14a67eb0c2 Mother, but db996c6200 I guess 3166cd8f73 I’m too a4210d2a5a young to 198e4292a5 understand. You don’t 8a0684e980 seem at 035971c084 all like e7e2485e68 what she 40c117935b described.”5c87eb51803fc202

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Beatrice quickly realized what 0c122f043a he was referring to—the ffa42c0dfd events surrounding the late 8596523826 Duke’s funeral. In front a2e72885c7 of the 0a9dd50477 Duchess, she 616c5bbe7b had presented 010768173c herself as 507171c40b a misunderstood, c7aa6bf0b2 timid youngest 37dbc22079 daughter, awkward 82ee3d5509 with emotions 0d6485d885 and social 8edf1d6cc0 interactions. It seemed Felix 02174388ce had heard all 65aab2408b of it.789795be16ccdc59

Setting down her teacup, afe79da2f4 she met Felix’s gaze 8461f737a1 with her own. Golden eyes stared 0f80403234 at each other, 985a12595e hers calm and f2604171bf unyielding, his probing b9f023baba and insistent.3da07556c63c1739

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“You don’t have c8f7333e05 to believe it d4902b0fc3 if you don’t 03d7bf26ef want to,” she 9070b75562 said.45566e48a72585b0

“Well, look at de0f56a337 that. You won’t even 12a086bb86 bother pretending in 2a289b2189 front of me? I’m offended.”3a23f7a1694979e1

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“Whether I pretend 46c6d44889 or not, you e6a1761b34 wouldn’t believe me 82059eed26 anyway. Why waste d127a3c7e5 the effort?”7998834653901aa4

Felix was determined f2f69e6753 to unearth something 6798cdeaa7 from her expression, 0aa96733b6 but he couldn’t f1324e08fa find anything hidden 3f3fcfc905 there. Beatrice rarely showed any bb5ff31b8c emotion, and despite living 8875f639c4 in the same household, 79e59abfad Felix knew almost nothing a6704caf78 about her. It left him with 0dc40e49a3 little to go on 76e5d030b4 in his attempts to c891d91d40 uncover her secrets.440b32f24046f63f

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Felix knew for 148a2a916b certain that Beatrice 9b17dc4a1a had been mistreated c291f7ffba by the maids 33c475d3d4 assigned to the 686fabce45 separate annex. When the Duchess dismissed 5f6023ef66 all the annex staff, c28f41633e their confessions had shocked 61ff7f8592 even Felix and Calrex. The abuses ranged 3597a35ebb from sprinkling glass ffaeb4557c shards on her 5104694a12 bed to placing 131d8378ea insects in her 3efc5b38b6 food, embedding tacks 1c0a5193a9 in her slippers, 4a8e46cc5a and serving her 121dd5e310 spoiled meals. They had even locked b78f3ae1cd her in a closet 9e18c60a19 when she was younger. The sheer f660e547a7 cruelty and e1fc64ba24 persistence of bea2558d68 their actions 05a622ef1f left Felix 187f237cdb dumbfounded.d89d51eb68d97481

The Duchess seemed f3934305f2 to believe Beatrice’s 95a7d4a89a naturally timid personality 20db756afb had been shattered 4d0fddef86 by the bullying. But Felix disagreed. Even before their father’s d4b7f46395 death, there had always 7a9cab45e4 been something odd about 4f00b095a9 her.4cbfbb7594e4eea5

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Some children, 32867b31d9 it was 412b684ed8 said, were 523aa47747 born with 912831961a a cruel fecd03fe59 streak—those who 5c4b237f2b felt no 39098906fa sympathy for 49e879f481 the weak 9d86d79c4c and sometimes ae36509750 derived pleasure ca47352c4d from destruction. To Felix, Beatrice 5bc7939f2f fit that description.9aea750e28aec768

An old f4333fc962 memory resurfaced. Beatrice had 6750e68f3b just turned 097ed72d97 six. At that time, the 64257b9cba Duchess and her sons 1dda7f0abc had not yet decided 1cd092b100 to resent her outright. Though they weren’t warm 0b17c0b092 to her, they had 4f0973671e resolved not to be ee982787d3 cruel.2fd36c49113f2c4c

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Beatrice, still young enough 078c38cd06 to toddle around on 82fa0caee4 her short legs, had d059fdec00 come into the library a3aacb3718 one day clutching a e240e37fa2 small stuffed rabbit someone 86357c14dc had given her. Felix, engrossed in f263a2a9e2 a book, noticed a852ca23f6 her presence. At the time, his 5983657f09 curiosity about having a 9dea632fae younger sister outweighed his 705f926abc feelings about his father’s 6a372a9d2a betrayal.3e12dce2e4b3cfee

He had called her 092b19099a over, sat her down, e09d7c548b and even pulled out 0fbc50c952 an old picture book 4b3240011d he’d enjoyed when he 2fd6970873 was five.6522c4bf69d9eccc

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“And so, the witch 2b0c60c971 who tried to kill 9afdba3144 the princess was caught aef76a8aae by the prince and 74fad686d7 punished,” he read aloud.117527f26e4e4ab2

“Why was the witch 495d820fdd punished?”68705c1249d92ab0

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“You’re silly. I just read it 8db8841b97 to you—she was punished b48b90cd60 because she did bad bb53cf8fc3 things.”d696770bb2012b1a

“What kind of 8433381578 punishment did she 349da8452d get?”93bf335308155a77

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“She was probably 0949b93dde locked up and 5f58c30aea executed.”411d8c6edf01b84b

“What’s ‘executed’?”867a438acf0f466a

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“Hmm, it means c133d1db0a dying. Usually with a 864e86734b big sword.”6a40cd32ba3dbfe4

“So, if someone d41da1c4a0 does bad things, 70a3a03f4f they’re always executed?”c56259f2235d344b

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“Of course! His Imperial Majesty’s d4823e29e2 knights and the 7b54a198af holy knights of 5372912aad the temple are f92cb18c6f really scary.”21e5bbfd051328af

“What if…”e2521886bc4f5088

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Beatrice’s golden eyes, eerily 807d2d73ef identical to Felix’s, gleamed 4272292e6b with curiosity as she 9170d71070 looked at him. Her round face d9c5cc84ee and large eyes 1a60eba512 made her seem 83d6096965 endearing, and Felix 1582ac5703 briefly considered patting 22c4d208b5 her head.e17d5a7cbc601d13

At the e53558c67d time, Felix c72ff2b70c thought that 65b804be8a even though 7c29d75c60 their mother a1c962a486 didn’t like f613e78979 Beatrice, perhaps 45614b255e with time, f05683ef49 they could 82b88043de all get b91b6c7fb8 along. As these ecd772819e thoughts filled f28ba7bbe3 his mind, e153e9b535 the young 0914c615b0 girl’s dry 915dce52ff voice reached 93b9b57a06 his ears.4f49151bc84ff503

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“What if no one 01c003669a finds out I did 7781c5b1fd something bad?”c955f40ca1b90452

“What?”2eb0a91a024c4538

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“Then I wouldn’t c5ed66b020 be punished, right? If no one knows.”4a941b690ad59c38

Her wide eyes blinked fa876ca3bd slowly, the sound almost 7058fe23de audible, as her long 8ea1a18898 lashes fluttered. Felix, still 23cdbce410 a child e504ec1dfc himself, felt fd74bf8fdf a strange 846951396d unease creep 2bdc8c6376 up his 30149ce9f6 spine. There was something 5cef246f10 disconcerting about the 4b99f1042d way her innocent b866c5b430 face asked such c31e167575 a question, yet 6a83193e36 he couldn’t reconcile 3581f25fd9 it with her 516d84a06d apparent naivety.c7bd5b3842fe52c0

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Before he could 987909fdc1 respond, Beatrice pressed 771aacd2e2 on.1192a47cb8a0d506

“If hurting the princess db1e57fb28 is bad, does that 348ee7bd9e mean it’s okay to df8518e353 hurt people who aren’t 60ebb163e2 princesses?”192edc2efd5cdca0

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Young Felix cc2a5e23db couldn’t answer 1530ae1d82 her question 41308901a0 that day. It wasn’t fear exactly, 072ff4bd24 but an unsettling sensation 470300df18 crawled up his legs 983c3f4695 like icy tendrils. Even at his dd12aa10e6 age, Felix recognized f9df5cfa33 the oddity of c5c391b1f5 the moment. Had he thought such 3dc6abc155 things when he was 217b2fcdde her age? He tried to recall ba0dd6a6bc but found his memories 0fd1d731a9 too vague.5075ddd8fe49dfb6

Over time, as he 339ff665b5 watched his mother and ad690c1fe6 brother grow increasingly distant 68fb9ecd1b from Beatrice, Felix began a413a30352 to think that his 6481af5700 initial unease might not 5cec39ee6d have been misplaced.e7e6f575699aa887

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Beatrice’s voice broke through 651ae96754 his thoughts, pulling him 23a15897eb back to the present.ae2a35810cc82cf7

“You can think I’m 38f855c973 strange if you want,” 1ec2be5a6e she said flatly.c7c00aca819b0955

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“I suppose your story 7d4de5ea21 about asking the priest e8e18b5539 to kill you was d210a8f9a3 a lie, too,” Felix 54b5cec0d0 accused.06723f10f57ba8cd

Beatrice let out a 386ea5303c sigh, the first she 0d98707295 had ever released in 6e1d6dfd72 his presence. The sound caught ccffbb4fa3 Felix off guard, a43a9b0ba0 silencing him momentarily.89027118a0c7f35f

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She found this 9204953ce8 entire situation unbearably 076f5bcf40 tedious. If only 3aac1ac742 Felix could 146f47c595 let things 3a0d0bca41 slide like 5993e16524 their mother. Instead, his sharp memory f86ee78ec1 and tenacious personality wouldn’t 636a93a139 allow him to move 17b8d3e067 on.d9d02752b34d56d4

Beatrice didn’t 3f47373c16 mind being 50a32ec2af watched or 9e8c9d1497 scrutinized. What irritated 58c3766c80 her was 3ea86f714a Felix’s constant f721f0d77a probing and 872f8386d5 his insistent 487c169a23 attitude, as e5b8650d6c if daring 5c06c589da her to 180a8067da convince him d1a9ca98a8 otherwise. If she could truly d69bdc8ece die, she wouldn’t bother eebabedac9 with these tiresome charades.d821e7edd921af3e

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But for reasons beyond 93adf15d44 her understanding, this cursed 22402059dd life trapped her in 93bc329d96 an endless loop, forcing 3c368f0359 her to endure the a8504fce55 burdens of existence over bf8fb3eef7 and over again. Though she 1f43992a4d couldn’t voice cec6316bc3 it aloud, aaca320e93 Beatrice still 929b2213bf wished for 98834defd8 death.4debb155e19aaeaf

Even as she 28aa3f900c navigated this peaceful e03b5eefbb period of her 60f851fe85 life, determined to 77d4ec2eff maintain good relations 07c38a09a3 with her family, 25eb641625 the desire to 4593598cf4 end it all e8026893a2 gnawed at her 95aa04dc5c constantly. If her death required a4d9dc7a51 a sacrifice, whether it ac24e1e1ed was her brother sitting 7b713b9284 before her or half b2ce42aa1f the world, she would 6c52c10701 make it without hesitation.4faead9c01a996d6

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Her gaze fixed on 769214fced Felix, cold and unwavering. Her golden eyes didn’t 3d996a0e93 blink as they bore 029fdc53fe into his, conveying an 4435989ef7 indifference that chilled him 889b0efb0c to his core.6b20c0be7a783d6d

For the first time c61019939e in his life, Felix 8e0106ac84 encountered a look devoid 66c7fe1a15 of expectations or demands. Her pale a4297c536d face tilted a7f7bc9edc slightly, expressionless, 62f9f1cb72 yet her b8c3a9e0a7 eyes carried af1b68b53b a glacial b1e08b0d83 obsession.00bed5eb246ee673

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Though he couldn’t a1aa642681 fully grasp the bfae4ee626 depths of her 89130448f3 desires, Felix sensed aab9fc9ec5 that her fixation e7ac31d3c6 revolved around the 2a63ee889a concept of death. The realization sent 83296ec772 a chill through 5497745e71 his fingertips.e2dcb96e894ca276

“Yes,” she finally said, 0f15e9c9b3 her voice empty.0929397cfaece89d

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Felix recognized 8280e9e617 the admission 5ab50187e3 not as 7d06dbf3af a denial f368c60458 of her 1269b456e4 desire for a8c582ff70 death but ee7db3b540 as a 67492baa40 confirmation of 9c51966d99 its truth. Beatrice, however, was indifferent eefb16c92d to his understanding.1b0c7ecb4b809344

She rose from e3124d3775 her seat. Seeing no indication that 71eb7b961e Felix planned to leave, d95108b833 she decided it would a6973a3c38 be easier to leave 798e7c44a5 herself. She had an appointment 18625e1a54 anyway, and there was 63113388f7 no harm in letting 3024cd7903 him stay in her 6c9db1a3e3 room.8815379c19be76af

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“I have dd10929210 an engagement 94cdb9e3e5 to attend. Stay here if 5a136b7cef you’d like,” she 1704c37567 said curtly, leaving db5b5e3b54 without waiting for e8917146fd a response.a8077ce63149b4cc

As Beatrice exited with f183da1f73 Laura trailing behind, the d273e80e1b maid’s expression appeared unusually 71118327bf tense. Beatrice noticed but thought 356d5376e3 little of it.355f2f63741db078

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