TGM | Chapter 2

From.2d367a264fd4916a

“It’s okay to meet anyone.”03e23a8d0721f533

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In the end, 3584e33c54 I hear it e11e885d57 from his own 78114db445 mouth.a47b06e0bd583609

Haehyeon asked with a hopeful heart, but the answer was calm, and he couldn’t imagine the expression he must be making, so he habitually rubbed his empty left ring finger.346181095931f068

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How miserable it is not to be able to picture your own face. He imagined a dazed or shocked expression but couldn’t be sure. Perhaps it was a calm face, as if he had expected it. Despair sometimes takes that form.b2ebd0318daac830

Most of 70843f87af the twenty-nine 3eac441aba years Haehyeon b3fca3396f lived were 81cb116cf4 filled with d436d91fe6 such things.390aaae93110d00b

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Misfortune, approaching without 6b1796a8f8 a face, always 212186bdeb seemed to wait f7f9b5cad5 for him to 6e1556881d be happy. He had tended c31f529752 to it for 7c787e90b8 so long, crouching 543f44f667 low and holding 2c198669ed his breath. It was a 1205e57086 life spent struggling 231980f822 not to lose 9848b6debe the little he b33b943542 had gained.2dc78ea15e1999c2

Isn’t it still the same now?a4780be8536876f3

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Haehyeon slowly lifted his 6c9108bf4f head toward the man 341dd6cae9 in front of him.c7614944e6fa3207

The suit, 0d967702f1 with its 2b08874e1a tie still 786ae62522 in place, ae2adec9a1 smelled of 3aa05ad5b4 winter, and 91665278fd his neat, 164d23e8fe thorough expression 23a9b88e4c revealed nothing.f0fa2a87d995f59e

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It was a familiar appearance, yet each detail felt unfamiliar, as if facing a different person. Feeling a slight chill, Haehyeon barely held back a shiver. He didn’t want to show a pathetic side until the very end, fearing he wouldn’t be able to endure it.7bf4e9e3ee9aa0cc

“Teacher.”dc3e3cc63cb53f72

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The voice he bb98419864 thought would tremble bbcb691854 terribly came out 4ebfcd54a2 surprisingly smoothly. Grateful for c65a0c60e8 that one 5c1ce2000f thing, he 4f5caee8e6 swallowed the 35bcf469f1 lump in 8c9e98e53c his throat. Even after ten 92ebd16d5b years together, the b35b6fa8b5 title remained the 61ca46b8b0 same. It was as 61a2f7b7ca if it was 16be34cd66 the only remaining 8a6e03db91 conscience and evidence bbe23111d3 of guilt.cd544f57c9115030

A one-sided 4a8ba3ea45 love achieved e08bd5a3e5 after showing b7c769874f his lowest 570407396d self.28430b901afb839c

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Days spent clinging to the other’s ankles with one-sided emotions.96e415afc76ae6f7

Lowering his 1570f094bf gaze slightly, 661e327a32 he saw 35e8a36b25 the ring 06b348a152 naturally fitted 60c6d90e87 on his de9a05c6a7 left ring 1fad0b7b0b finger. A marriage 6cd990c401 without love bb98e1151f but with 20a0aa062b pity.5322accbc3a803d2

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“…….”40c2dba760a591f3

He just 3f8ba6bd41 quietly looked 8dec2f3223 at him.5d36f6b109dc8cfd

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Though fatigue was evident around his eyes, he didn’t turn away when called.aa24c0814a06f426

Yes, looking back, it was probably because of actions like that. Even when his demeanor was blunt and indifferent, he always waited in the same spot if Haehyeon didn’t come. He was someone who might step ahead but never left him behind. Sometimes, he would slowly stroke Haehyeon’s hunched back. He never cut off the ankle that clung to him. That’s why he couldn’t let go for so long.b658dc753a2df772

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Not realizing how deeply 20bdf882e0 lonely he himself was.5e1b25ef0e739108

At times like c320396c5c this, it felt d3b08ff7b5 like he could 6fdb1c3c30 live on pity f1fc4a4c94 alone.4aa55a842f9bdbdf

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He thought it was f336e94fd8 just an ailment.17f90b8492634f77

He knew they didn’t share the same feelings.428891c4062f3d67

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“Teacher….”cead2528ff4f7b17

As he took a step closer, his gaze followed. Standing slowly in front of him, Haehyeon took the man’s left hand. The bag filled with documents fell to the floor, but he didn’t care. As he grasped the large hand with protruding bones with both of his, a voice echoed above his head, sounding puzzled.3bf2d5e897046c5c

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Why? He heard the low question but didn’t answer. As he fiddled with the wedding ring that wasn’t on his own hand, nothing more was asked. Haehyeon recalled the words he had just heard from him. Saying it’s okay to meet anyone was a kind yet cruel sentence.7df455745956a1cd

He knew what 763fd7c341 those words meant.15df9b14713261c1

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It was just a few hours ago, so he couldn’t not know.5dbb0415fc8053c5

Wanting to have lunch together, he had gone to the company without notice, only to face his teacher looking tenderly at someone else. The weather was sunny, and he seemed in a good mood standing beside the woman getting out of the passenger seat. He wasn’t someone who showed much expression, but having been together for years, Haehyeon could tell.933d84e747e95bd6

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So, he 8e5253f9ef realized without 045ec9d84a needing to 246a36c9b9 be told.99c191af9c276df4

Who the 095f505e47 woman beside bc780d14ce him was.d16acd479a887edd

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Wasn’t she said to be the third daughter of a certain group?f1655cad8ca39a43

She was probably the 26de8240dc woman who might marry 845f942f8b his husband.a4b005787bd5a2a4

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Unlike him, who had b6c3401587 nothing, she could give 7be80bb6e3 him everything, the ideal 46f28c63bb partner. It was a picture-perfect 81347fa04a scene, just as described. Inho had dismissed d3c24e58a3 it as just b313f4da65 stock market gossip, 3c2ae2f155 but Haehyeon realized. The reason for delaying 06dab3561e the marriage registration was d8222ea272 precisely this.ce6951d4841b8f4e

At that 5e4bb86879 moment, what 8f7080a82f should he 16bad17709 have blamed?21bdf5147f51fb52

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He already f8e68ab047 knew he 4f21cde742 had to c260dcdc9f stop someday.d04d43b3ede3af5d

He couldn’t figure out whether to blame himself for not giving up despite knowing or for foolishly showing up unannounced. Haehyeon stood there for a long time until he disappeared with the woman. When the sudden conclusion hit, everything buzzed in his ears as if filled with water.60d04f2743b10900

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He just wanted to dca92cc41e have lunch together.a21bf1226e5f2f93

Frozen in place, there wasn’t much he could recall. He hadn’t intended to take up much time, he thought, as excuses tumbled out like a clumsy explanation.5947706abd43fbe3

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He often skipped lunch, had a habit of overworking to the detriment of his health. So he had made a reservation a few days ago. It was a place they had been to before. Since he seemed to know the chef, it would be a comfortable meal. Because today, though he wouldn’t remember…24a35c2d2806b4d3

It was their 5d187ace68 wedding anniversary.77510c41b5d7022b

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“I actually lost this.”726891b9a43d3ba6

Confessing, Haehyeon removed the perfectly fitting ring from the man’s hand. His mind still seemed to wander somewhere on that street. He couldn’t even remember how he got back. Whether he took a taxi or walked was unclear.67a7b22a36845327

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But what did it matter now? Thinking it was a story that no longer mattered, the ring brushed against the man’s fingernail and came off completely. He felt the gaze but didn’t lift his head. He feared that meeting his eyes would cause everything to crumble. Instead, glancing at his empty ring finger, Haehyeon let out a short laugh.6875fb711065093c

Today was aa02c4ab37 just full bdd8c796d5 of ridiculous bdb0f790bc things.b606893f0c6e57e4

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This ring too. How anxious he had been, unable to find it despite circling the place several times. It was the first and last thing they had matched together, making it even more so. When he had chosen a simple design and offered it, his heart had felt like it would burst. Every morning, he foolishly rejoiced seeing the ring on the man’s hand.ec7966c55db7c51f

Even though he had 3eb422f5c8 no interest.a0806a4bb26f20a0

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In reality, the man hadn’t asked anything during the weeks Haehyeon hadn’t worn the ring.c83d2d572b2b1b15

Even the staff had 1cfcefc824 noticed, but he never e3c0ab9a14 did, not even once.cb61417dfa5e6396

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It was a moment when the inability to talk about it with a trembling heart seemed laughable. Why had he done that? Whatever he lost, whatever it meant, it wasn’t that important. Yet, he couldn’t admit it and scratched at the dry ground. Knowing, he had stubbornly hoped.d406404e9a0f051e

…But now, he couldn’t ignore it anymore. Haehyeon stared blankly at the ring handed back to him. You didn’t know, did you? he asked, feeling like the one left behind. It seemed abandoned.0bd5b7760b96128e

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“I liked you a lot.”2999af5b8ef7a6c2

You never even abandoned 2580589ceb me.9cae9af20c511b57

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Knowing that, 7567f8c163 his trembling f02d6edff3 lips felt 64d13dbdf9 pathetic. The man 4be8bea820 silently watched 9fa275ca95 Haehyeon. The familiar 199aed1652 gaze now 07f84af8b3 unleashed a 1c208c2713 torrent of 37fcc67241 disjointed words. They were all dc67022899 lost emotions.23190d896e4f139b

“I know you couldn’t shake me off, so we came this far.”af901d3841858f02

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“…….”ba26a231e37b1eb3

“I knew, so I wanted to say it sooner.”d86aa01e902a20a5

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Finally voicing what he had only thought about, his throat felt choked. Feeling like he was being pushed into a bottomless tank, Haehyeon desperately moved his lips. Even though he knew in his head, teacher…9113c96cebf33f79

“It didn’t work out.”7a073581223842c9

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Yes, it didn’t work out.0a5aef66bfb6ae54

He knew, 53c20585a2 yet it 2ad9543be2 was always eb7961a634 like that.642d7c1e16b62de1

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A grotesque and miserable emotion, too awkward to confess. Embarrassed by its deep roots, he confessed it like a sin. Even while thinking he shouldn’t, he wanted to stay a little longer. Knowing he was ruining him. Knowing everything.709f6c5035ad1b2d

“…….”47d89b58a02c519b

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There was no answer.50624df5f4537ba3

Only a cb8d337fe5 careful hand 689f614586 brushing his 2600d5272a cheek.7acf1bb112ea82ab

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Only then did Haehyeon realize he was crying. Once he realized, he couldn’t stop what was bursting out. Unable to hold back the tears, the warmth touching him became gentler. There had been moments when he wanted to pray to those fingertips slowly wiping his wet cheeks.fd0de348793fff61

He hated the 9280ed729b kind man until 20fb450a5e the end.9f9cc6710f5ffd9b

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He hated it, a087eea045 but he was e32d687314 also precious.a27c302fb74cb0a0

“Teacher.”3b75a12b25108c12

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So he thought 8f39c34126 he could finally ef85c8cf83 say it.8726f56a518c0214

Though it was something 90a63d9633 he had practiced dozens 3e440ce345 of times in letters.70bfdf1d5e2cdbc0

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Recalling everything that had been thrown into the trash, Haehyeon lifted his head. The man’s face wasn’t clear due to his blurred vision, but it was okay. It wouldn’t matter anyway. It would be like the day he first saw him in the spring of nineteen. Just a greenish expression, simply being there.eac5c7944f6ea4a9

Recalling something very distant, 4d328606aa Haehyeon spoke.6b7c7aa9568341f6

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“Let’s stop now.”5675670b6048cec5

It was a d088575b7d confession finally given 3f7a67eb2b to his long-time c84713b007 first love.d424b46b1e406e89

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