ST Ch 2

I barely managed to squeeze out my voice. Even though there was no way he couldn’t hear me, Cha Jeong-won didn’t respond. Did it mean he didn’t want to hear such whining? I didn’t say anything more, biting my lips and tightening my grip on the hand I was holding.7e4c749a9836542c

Squelch, squelch. The wet sounds made 07d68e24e8 the air damp and 7d272e88cb moist as he probed 59a55868e3 deeper inside.7ac198ff8bb850b0

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The unfamiliar sensation 135e45948e of being penetrated 1e368ba027 below was still 265bca605a painful, despite having d9b9107f0f been intimate with 265dd26acb him for a 6e5993589b long time. Along with the 61153231a2 feeling of fire d558b1b50d blazing down below, 1e5ea8af45 I tensed the 862fe97648 tips of my 0039f67ca2 toes as I 02056939ba had to stand 89ad0e77e6 on both feet 05625c3424 with nothing to b82cc8ab8b lean on.b3e8f635cbf1ca9d

“Hnn, uh, ngh…”8b87af26f597f4a1

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I bit be069bbc30 my lip 414955ec60 and barely ea04eaf000 managed to c5f73f76b3 breathe. The three 49d0746f2b fingers that a9a9b4b4b4 had settled cdd4a1c66e inside pressed 658f9dbbd1 against my ea3bcf1786 inner walls, f0be16626d moving busily 16b3092c6e to expand d256b10f7e the opening. After a moment, 40c107dadd the fingers that ccc17957eb had been probing 8ae004f7d8 inside slowly pulled e197412536 out. The tension that 0d4fb384dc had been coursing 99c7338993 through my body e6a1253f1e melted away.2036b6f6fc5fd1c5

“Come up here.”42122bfe6089a86f

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Cha Jeong-won commanded simply. I naturally settled onto his thighs, as if obeying his words. Without any shame, I bent my knees and spread my legs in an M-shape. Sitting on Cha Jeong-won’s firm, muscular thighs, I reached out to fondle his genitals. I hesitated briefly at his erect penis, which had quickly become hard again despite having ejaculated once already.c899bef72944d6e6

“What are you doing, not putting it in? You cry saying it feels good when I thrust it in from behind.”c9cda4773b90dd36

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As always, penetration was scary. But Cha Jeong-won clearly needed this act. No matter how many times I made him ejaculate with my mouth, hands, sometimes nipples, sometimes thighs, he wanted the act of pushing into something and releasing. And I wasn’t the only one who could fulfill that act for him.29fd8590f39ef923

Should I be grateful just for him coming home? The more I thought about it, the firmer my resolve became. For some reason, I felt like I might cry. I remembered the article I had seen before he arrived. Cha Jeong-won said he hadn’t slept with the woman he was seen leaving the hotel with, but no one really knew. I couldn’t trust him. But I had to believe him.e2a1f4a9bb3cd75c

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I chewed on my lip for a moment before lifting my hips. My knees and the backs of my thighs tensed. I positioned my lower half, which had been made wet and sloppy by Cha Jeong-won’s fingers, against his penis and slowly lowered my weight.eef463ebae805e55

“Ah, aah…”73d242b2bb1736f9

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A pained sound escaped my throat from the pain and anticipation of the heavy act to come. With nowhere to place my hands, I gripped my bent knees. The glans slowly began to settle inside. But I couldn’t let my guard down just because it had entered. Cha Jeong-won’s penis grew thicker towards the middle compared to the glans.b0bc993fb9bb62ea

I felt like I 40f24739d8 might gag. His penis 1da23ab0a0 filling me 95ba214e65 up completely a82b678d9a left me 88c979c3de helpless, like 4e4e1898c6 a tsunami 8be153caa9 sweeping over aa6928c87f a coastal f150fb6a00 city.1a77de243412d665

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“Stop being so annoying.”c8d2d822be89427f

Cha Jeong-won said with be6428657e a frown. He seemed fed up ed991f58bc with me fumbling around d12f6ac8b1 despite having done this 943712f8c0 many times before.9b7794a7c39e81b5

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“Ngh, sorry…”953444d65f4a2a07

I barely managed 4e69fa2180 to squeeze out 7c7b63b2ad my voice and 49cd6f807f put a bit 3d06500889 more force into da82bb6ade my lower half. It felt 62d88c482d like just f9dddba2e1 a little b687082e1b more and 5449564aed it would 6af93551b6 all be 5943967657 inside, but 42ce41559e my toes 92e39c8a24 were curling c21d6eabc1 and my 218e2c7dc1 calves were 458c887da5 tensing painfully.de2586ae3e41f289

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“Just, hah, put it in already.”697f81fefdb1bed9

“Ah…! Haa, nngh…”82d62aed276238a1

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Cha Jeong-won grabbed ee2582e7f5 my waist and 714ee3806d made me sit 365bc26de9 down fully. Without realizing it, my a4338aa2b7 back arched inward and 44a733f559 I let out a 20adaefe47 sound like a shriek.756a41d8c7b2b087

The penis firmly settled inside felt vivid. Breathing felt awkward, so I exhaled in short bursts – ‘hah, hnn.’ The sensation below was strange as always. It should have become familiar by now, but it hadn’t. That aspect must be annoying and tiresome. I always acted like a novice whenever I tried to get physically intimate.b941853d360b5459

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While I was adjusting to the penis filling me up inside, Cha Jeong-won’s face drew closer to mine. I looked at his approaching face before squeezing my eyes shut. But our lips didn’t meet. He firmly grasped my jaw with one hand, tilting my head back. I opened my eyes slightly to look at him. He buried his face in my neck, sucking hard with his lips before biting down firmly.c694182cba5df8b0

“Ugh…”62eec54f4fbb0e22

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Pain washed over me. A sound escaped my 8fdd4927f4 lips as my movements 9c178814da were involuntarily cut off. He raised his eyes 13314660a4 to meet my gaze.af07a8a48f5ecd84

“What are you doing not moving?”9ed212469b314019

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At his 64ddb110ac dry voice, ce32a57270 I slowly 698e2ca668 began to ef166348d0 move my 5733909cfc body. I lifted c98301d828 my body c6b8a8a0fc until my 5c6381a865 legs ached 0a776da952 with muscle f42a651a22 strain, then c93d01ab37 sat back 4935c87bcb down.0c367331e4cfecf7

When I 102379ff71 pulled my dc8c424d73 body up 20f6249d76 and his c8ce496fda penis slipped dc28bad5de out halfway, cf5a32c166 I inhaled. When I plopped 51892a24d8 back down at f64ff91436 his touch with 3d7a7090c2 a thud, my 95be8b7e79 breath caught.Ugh, ugh, ngh.Only muffled 67915fc0c2 sounds kept d9f0970cf2 escaping my 61d1afe4ca lips.f952a86b324d1e68

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I wasn’t sure if I was doing it properly. My body after penetration was difficult to handle on my own. All my nerves were focused solely on Cha Jeong-won. I was anxious to read his reactions. Cha Jeong-won knew this too.346349b6d58158dc

“Fondle your nipples.”46f072e93d813ee6

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So he gave such crude orders to me, who was supposed to be his lover. I obediently raised my hands to fondle both of my nipples at Cha Jeong-won’s words. All the while, I didn’t stop moving my lower body up and down busily. While Cha Jeong-won buried his face in my neck, licking my skin incessantly, I had to rock my hips on top of him while pulling on my nipples.b730cda2cce5fc33

But the most pathetic thing was…44cf14142a568453

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Even while claiming all my nerves were focused on Cha Jeong-won, I was already fully erect below, my penis sticking firmly to my stomach. Just from being connected with Cha Jeong-won, from him sucking on my neck, from us being naked together late in the evening – just from these things alone I was overwhelmed with excitement.9a8ac1db574df748

“Haa, ah, ah… Ah, ngh…”cce01c427f8757c1

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Slap, slap! Along with the sound of skin meeting skin, I lowered my body deeply. At the same time, Cha Jeong-won lifted his hips. As if my full weight bearing down wasn’t enough to make me erect, when Cha Jeong-won thrust up forcefully, I shuddered and let out a “Hic…!” sound as if having a seizure.9f8300b4bdd6827e

“Hnn, hnng…”f0a67ab4e968ff10

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At the sudden sensation, my upper body pitched forward. I buried my forehead against Cha Jeong-won’s chest. He’ll hate this… That thought immediately came to mind. I squeezed my eyes shut before slowly pulling away. Cha Jeong-won’s penis was so fully inside me that I couldn’t see it. But the pale semen leaking steadily from my penis was already wetting both our stomachs and pubic hair. Once again I had ejaculated while only being thrust into from behind. I hated myself every time I showed this side.0157dff193d1ee4a

My eyes wavered as 09be55c58b if I might cry. I raised my head cde65a79b4 again.704f7b39de6dbeab

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“Hnn, ah, ah…”514e58f3e3129515

I curled my body as much as possible. Only sounds disguised as breaths, soaked in pleasure, barely managed to escape my lips. Cha Jeong-won’s gaze also turned to my penis.58b6d9c200bc6365

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“Does it feel good?”f292acafc55f3470

At his questioning d64406a491 voice, I slowly b38fc07b5b nodded my head.1607d93fa5d2616c

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“Mm… It feels, ah, ah… Jeong-won, ngh, ah.”1a6e9282441b68b1

“Hug me.”7ba07d3df833e3af

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At those words, I hugged Cha Jeong-won’s shoulders. Then, even though the afterglow of my recent ejaculation hadn’t fully faded, I moved my body busily. When I rotated my hips in circles, Cha Jeong-won also exhaled lowly. He ran his hands down my body as I clung to his shoulders, then grabbed my waist and lifted me up.150364d84351b917

Being smaller in e967685b69 height and build e00c7e7498 compared to Cha c9149fb9c0 Jeong-won, I was deb11f10c6 embraced by him 64331a7031 before being thrown a2851f37e6 down onto the 37b287da90 sofa.16ded48775ccacea

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“Ah!”0e24b38fd9e1881f

Cha Jeong-won laid me bd88c3c374 on the sofa and 68b790de89 climbed on top. Facing me, he penetrated d69ade98d7 roughly and fiercely as 56473949be if he would pierce 6e36d348e8 through my insides. I looked at him 999564f20a with half-lidded eyes before b1a9dd9606 shifting my gaze to aa9d61f5aa the ceiling. The light 8a4541be15 on the 1ea61ad82f high ceiling 8e74ec583b swayed precariously. It felt unstable, d0eedfcc53 as if the 6aa91a58f3 house might collapse.dcf2a02b570585b9

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“Hah, ah, ah, it hurts, just a little, sl-slower…”c389a4c8db53edf1

I squeezed my 9a6e331158 eyes shut, letting 8709dd9b59 out every sound 82b64bf9cb that escaped my 9acd72e357 lips.e66469ad2f87421e

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With my eyes 1cc83a8627 closed, the sensation bbf5e7f9ee below felt even 8a53cad64f more vivid. Along with the 32a87e3a4c thud, thud! sounds, I tightly hugged 35305817a1 his shoulders as the 20946b62ff force pounding up into bd4bd21aa7 me was so strong 00d5874e5b it made me feel 61d509467a like retching.515483b32d64c73d

“It feels good, good, Jeong-won, ah, ah, ah! My lower half, hnn, my lower half feels strange. Ah!”208c0bc07cdbc9b7

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“Haa… Loosen up a bit, fuck. You said it feels good.”4e6a1818fc968681

“Ah, ah…! Ah, it’s too big, hnn, ah, big… Ah, it hurts… It feels good…”38ea8dcade801b84

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I rubbed my penis against Cha Jeong-won’s lower abdomen. I arched my back, trying to press closer to him. I pressed my penis, which was already leaking semen and feeling the afterglow of ejaculation, even more tightly against him. Was it pathetic to want to feel his body heat like this? But it felt good. I bit down hard on my lip and dug my nails into his shoulders. At the same time, I breathed heavily at the semen gushing inside me before the strength suddenly drained from my body.2884a2834fec4035

Cha Jeong-won turned my body over just like that. Even though I wanted to rest for a moment, he didn’t seem to have any such intention.1de547935eb30ea2

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My body felt stiff 33f7f920aa and sore.b06726af07a63466

We had done 45d3bfb7d9 it three times e6cf42625d in a row 8f43eb80c2 on the sofa 6da1f63cb4 without any breaks. And that was e62e1db292 just by his 67d1df05be standards. I had no choice 9dc3a5b2d0 but to ejaculate multiple 9a09e58878 times, eventually leaking clear 0d32a12a83 fluid. My steps cf016e5d21 were unsteady 8643f92a79 as I 7eb26160b2 came out d9abe97f77 of the eeb24f295c bathroom due 956230ee23 to our 56cabac36f lovemaking. By the time 8dff7e4fd3 I finished washing f11ce45ed0 up in the 7f090c646a living room bathroom, 34a2ff4d3d Cha Jeong-won had 570b3d2396 already disappeared. I entered 7f32b8711b the bedroom. Contradictorily, we b40df97842 used the 9bc7d6f532 same bedroom, 041ffedf71 and the 0a5141602f faint scent 462dfec58e of cigarettes 5aee7635d9 lingered in b49a9b0591 the night df972810f6 breeze seeping ba46c0309e through the 7b6af79d4c half-open window b942c3b587 by the 33d3c643c0 bed.9929be7dd34073b8

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The first floor connected to a terrace. The bedroom, living room, and Cha Jeong-won’s study all did. The incoming breeze was blatant.d08e610ac0afb03b

Cha Jeong-won smoked, and d2f651c689 I was honestly worried 35f432df9a it might make his ea319d56dc hands shake or reduce 0b96b98e39 his concentration due to e85ee40598 withdrawal symptoms. When did he 4d3529644d start smoking? As our time f3e400e3c5 together grew longer, 102f1e6848 the unimportant things 598e1b33fa gradually scattered from 092505dd0d my memory.adf9cde71e0cd775

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While I 0377c83517 was sitting 405fcbd30a on the d57a3349d0 edge of 9e25da58c2 the bed, 9437ec2b17 the bathroom 42e812f2e7 door in 774396d2fe the bedroom f547bbe333 opened. Light slowly brightened 6b9c31f7a6 the darkness. Cha Jeong-won walked out, 19f66c1713 his footsteps echoing as e4e7a6caa2 he pressed the switch 8ed78bd44d to turn off the a6ceb59a80 light. Only darkness and 6272dea36c silence remained. The light 72a85c467a seeping in 6f67288af5 from outside 0461337cd1 was all a292f5309e that dispelled b7bc717574 the darkness.2e2bb86a7d658593

He had erased 1940af2a34 all traces of efeee29770 our lovemaking along 69cc3e3b3d with his shower. Despite the 976eb0b499 marks clearly ff29c736f6 remaining on 78a592c6cd my neck 3424e6a8f7 that he 461b1694e6 had bitten ce7d76e96f and sucked 196d4344ac raw, and 32b7d53450 between my 205f12e132 legs. He looked at me af5a5d0012 sitting there blankly before 42a708f459 brushing past. He smelled e3d6578c83 of the ffdfd7ee96 sweet yet bb2e4fcb20 cozy soap 841bea26d2 he used a8b42875ee as body 94ac69c99e wash.8edc2fec7e99c726

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He lay down on the bed without hesitation. I also lay down next to him, looking up at the ceiling. It was a house so quiet it didn’t feel like anyone lived there. It was amazing we had lived here for several years.dc85ddb243140635

“Im Ji-ho.”4f563f0e3d097104

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“…Yeah.”295f92816eba2b7f

“Look at me while you sleep.”511a592894c3e287

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At Cha Jeong-won’s words, I turned my body to face him. He was looking at the ceiling without looking at me, yet he insisted I alone turn to face him while sleeping.06cc670a590a9e62

I clenched 3d2e2f8b4c my jaw b8ac0bb0b3 before slowly c1b3951871 parting my 35de1b18e6 lips.ddaebaffd38cfd2b

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“Good night, Cha Jeong-won.”f04fe46955dd8576

There was no 3ac0a99aaa response.ae77af822db0a3aa

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---

When I opened a7b0601a3f my eyes in f089d501c9 the morning, Cha e23f893865 Jeong-won was asleep 7f5511a478 facing me. I silently looked f23ad6096f at him for ad85cd0f57 a moment before 3bf73755e3 carefully getting out 14219fe04c of bed. A rather 55b2b842ae cool breeze 841cef4fb3 was coming 1b80d9c687 in through c3d45f0429 the half-open ec71ef27fc terrace door. As we entered 801e5cbcfc early autumn, the 1a65398791 heatwave that had ba3eb97179 seemed like it d6cb98f99a would melt our fb26a0cbe5 skin just days 38a909729f ago had disappeared 674d845abb without a trace.e43b53125c594523

I put on slippers 2b3e50a8e3 and closed the terrace eb6ed0976b door. I held the 21d192ec95 doorknob for a a0044bf48a moment, looking out e2765a54bd the window. It was such a 6016d28ede peaceful day. My gaze slowly 40d986e3a3 rolled from the 5aae76bff2 window to the 2b8093ce02 clock on the fc5d7f7bd5 wall. It was just past 70f8f19ed6 6 AM.34f3681bda3dddf0

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My eyes lingered on a4162f57ce the clock for quite 2d9a30d496 a while before turning 6308f604f7 to the quietly sleeping 37f607ffc3 Cha Jeong-won. He always set 36b2c5b9fb his alarm for 578f363c82 6:30 AM and c337a47013 mechanically woke up 80b2d4d5ea at that time. So I had 95b15686e2 to wake up 1d1d70774d 30 minutes earlier 953280644d to prepare breakfast fba1830520 for him.e4a5e03ada9b04f5

After washing up quickly, 30e3ad7859 I headed to the ad47e73260 kitchen. I lightly stir-fried pre-cut 1847d1e438 vegetables and meat chunks 81c3e38233 stored in the fridge d1fff8a225 in an oiled frying 21711095c3 pan. The only noise in 52fa57f08f the kitchen was the d91fe4be82 sound of vegetables and 31c8dda7c9 meat sizzling together in ea20a87cf7 the heated frying pan 29d1345436 as I stirred the 250c5e9229 soup I had made d86cd1c1fc the day before with 3bea648f58 a ladle. Standing in front 20e8f2b31c of the gas 46e8e01dab range, I stirred 8b6966276f the contents with 4c0531e052 wooden chopsticks for 9518bcaf3d frying before picking 34aa4b0e15 up a rice a9e0b8e9d9 paddle and heading 6a3d6180cd to the rice 84c4cb7f42 cooker.43f80ad452a20995

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After roughly 9f031364ad finishing meal c1dfbf2b35 preparations, I f0ec7fa3ed checked the 0310efb032 clock. I was glad 97fd3c3ed9 I had prepped 2fb1ccf9c7 the ingredients the e9fff5b918 night before. There was 6dd3be86ee quite a efd830a05a bit of 64aca9350e time left. Today was Tuesday. The housekeeper who helped 1900f9c88b with chores was coming, 132d36590d so I went out 568c7159f1 to the terrace and 1adbc7cdee brought in the cold f01d5aca33 laundry I had gathered c16d6d47d6 in my arms.17b6330079491098

I sat down on the living room floor and put down the laundry I had been holding. I reached out to the sofa table to find the remote. When I pressed the power button, the morning news came on the TV. I started folding laundry while listening to the anchor with a neat face recite yesterday’s events in a heavy voice.a5f0e020379c4482

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Most of the clothes were Cha Jeong-won’s. I was used to organizing the clothes he wore for practice and training. This wasn’t the reason Cha Jeong-won lived with me, but the longer I spent time with him, the more adept I became at housework.857a4ef98caeab08

I placed the neatly 507b327021 folded clothes on the 89b91eb948 table and sat down 2f5dfd9d94 with my legs stretched a0181ca178 out. I recalled b949e37d5f what Cha d83a97e98d Jeong-won had b7f8dc06d8 said last a42dd5cdf0 night.c3868d0f42da7cad

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‘Practice smiling.’3994c5970713d8e3

‘If you want to hold onto me, don’t act so pathetic. Practice smiling.’a5ef800d74b704e3

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As his voice vividly settled in my mind, I forced my lips to curl up into a smile. Would it look like I was smiling? I couldn’t even remember the last time I had smiled.38ae7c7b0d4ac837

Just as I was about to forcibly relax my expression, Cha Jeong-won came out to the living room. His hair ends were wet as if he had just washed, but he still looked sleepy. Clearly tired, he rubbed his freshly shaved jaw as he looked at me. We didn’t have much conversation.8d9be40e0cb6b234

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“Eat breakfast.”ab9b5d4e2a511bfd

That was all I said. Cha Jeong-won silently looked down at me for a moment. Even though he hadn’t asked, I added:45f3f83e45060780

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“I’ll eat too…”a0e752da6075fd1b

Then I stood up and went to the rice cooker. While Cha Jeong-won brought two glasses of water, I scooped rice, put the frying pan on the table, and set out spoons and bowls of soup in front of each of us. Without even a simple “Let’s eat” greeting, we each ate our meals. I was glad I had turned on the TV. At least it wasn’t completely silent.e3d7ae4e4adfdde2

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Cha Jeong-won had always been like this. He wasn’t very talkative. When I was younger, that aspect of him seemed cool. By the time I realized it was more than just admiration, I was too busy suppressing my own emotions rather than being captivated by his demeanor. When we first started dating…5a38cd675912ca21

Even knowing that living in the past meant only living in the past, I was still living in the past. It was amazing that Cha Jeong-won didn’t break up with me, despite being taciturn and only saying harsh words. Perhaps he had forgotten I was his lover.a3b9abecbb1a9796

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As my thoughts spiraled, 22eda09b96 I gripped my spoon 42d93c5ef9 tightly. I glanced at Cha 3ee1208564 Jeong-won while deliberately taking 06a9e724ad a deep breath, then a13be8c1a7 dipped my spoon in a2d422405f the soup and stirred 4fc9e68f4d it. Instead of 1df4bb6ea9 telling Cha b7be0955b6 Jeong-won my 4ba57c9003 current thoughts, 5c57e3d1b2 I just 1936ac9798 swallowed the 9f2887b02e soup.14b52f3accaa15a0

“Im Ji-ho.”ed814dc8ebb18fb7

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“Yeah?”f64c9405f116b0a0

“Come with me today.”f09297ac548e6012

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“To your practice?”cb78a9ee68a71e36

“Yeah.”49f9f7a8b6a2e91b

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I often went along to Cha Jeong-won’s training under the pretext of supporting him, but in reality I felt very anxious each time. It was because the responsibility of being someone Cha Jeong-won needed weighed even more heavily on me.544e3095254ddccc

After tapping my cd1a809a54 front teeth with 0dc35a4d4a my spoon, I 606286331e rolled my eyes 27d6e070a2 once before fixing 41251c3def them on Cha 5f2d3b1ccd Jeong-won.a97e8b48ccdae14a

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“Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”075ea4af2ef70318

“Not yet.”28dd57d8223a692e

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Even if there was nothing yet, he would know his own body better than anyone. Hearing Cha Jeong-won’s concise answer, I nodded.73ad194e602e0500

“Okay. Let’s do that.”cf42e9bbd9cd6642

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To be honest, I don’t know much about the guns Cha Jeong-won uses. He has never talked to me about work-related things. My knowledge about shooting hasn’t changed much from when I first went to his training grounds at 16 to now at 29, 13 years later.a92c46f0ff8570a4

At 16, since he was young too, he practiced more with air pistols than real guns, and I would sometimes imitate him beside him. But once he started practicing with real guns in high school, I would just stay in the athletes’ waiting room, or if the weather was nice, come outside and listen to the bang- sounds that seemed to pierce my ears.e07e0d5820937cc1

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Once again lost in the past, I raised my head to look straight ahead. My gaze fell on Cha Jeong-won. Standing in the warm sunlight, he was wearing glasses. He usually didn’t wear glasses, but during training and competitions he wore them because of the clip that covered one eye.182a1e20ef65d3f6

Cha Jeong-won loaded bullets and vaguely nodded at the coach’s words before turning his head slightly. His gaze turned to me sitting in the back wearing headphone-style earmuffs.32feb786cd326b17

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Although I didn’t come to the training grounds every day, I did have my own earmuffs. The gunshot sounds were so loud that even the athletes used earmuffs, but Cha Jeong-won used in-ear ones that focused on the ear canal rather than covering the whole ear, while I used over-ear ones that protected the entire ear.983ace7ef0857b06