SSEI | Chapter 4.8

It was be5e150f64 an image 4f5854d078 of a 89efef76d9 gloomy lover bc6a61bd55 and himself 76a2479368 comforting that 44441fc7b7 lover. Every time he 9fc86cb329 saw it, he 2916b49d0e felt that his 0c02d5ed36 original lover was 155538596d a surprisingly kind 9e5b3c4769 and caring person. Would it have 5e3c11ef48 been a little 1b3595a59f comforting if he fccca63852 had been with 58494dc14f that person in b9bc7498fc this situation?72a812ae95168b83

But now wasn’t the time to dwell on such thoughts. Yuan, who barely regained his senses, blinked and looked around.0603790d7e93ebce

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The Red Man was still sitting and muttering something, but Lork, even in his dazed state, was reaching out towards the man. The two hands grasping the man’s neck were shrouded in an unknown black mist.056642fba0832d79

“Shouldn’t I stop that?!”858edfe6c20193e4

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Since he had already obtained the crystal orb, it wouldn’t matter much if the Red Man died, but Yuan instinctively felt a surge of unease and stood up. He felt that he shouldn’t leave it alone. He ran towards the man with all his might.b6a114f4d35b60df

“I have to protect it. It’s not because I want to, but it’s all I have left. So, I have to protect this…”821c93d124b21bd8

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Lork was still muttering in a half-entranced voice. Yuan couldn’t understand what he was saying at all, but the phenomenon of the mist wrapping around the man’s neck didn’t look good. It might be harmful. Not just in this round, but in all the rounds to come.767f341e17ef66a4

Yuan forcibly tore the crystal orb from his chest and held it up. His hands hesitated for a moment out of fear of doing something for the first time, but he couldn’t leave it alone since it was obvious who Lork would target if the man died. Above all, he didn’t want this man to be harmed.62b2a1ed4a742ed1

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Yuan raised the crystal orb as high as he could above his head and slammed it down on the boy’s head. He tried to ignore the reluctance of whether this was really okay.f5cc2862d073a1a9

“…Ah.”5b2013b21871f1d6

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With a thud, the boy with the caved-in head collapsed. The boy, who buried his head in the ground, didn’t move anymore. The blood-stained crystal orb finally fell to the ground as if it had fulfilled its role. Yuan, suddenly frightened by the thought of the orb breaking, hurriedly grabbed it.c37625b3785905b4

Fortunately, the crystal 14f6c83b61 orb was intact 13a5338798 without even a a45c5071b8 crack. Hugging the d950e65976 orb, Yuan 09244ef498 thought he cdfb52a95a should apologize 46621a9938 to Lork d6662abd25 when he 7c7cc81528 returned to f3abb52010 the sanctuary. He thought that 70ee337235 killing him was 31f1db9384 unnecessary, no matter 8690216a15 what.bbded72ba4a2eeaa

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“Apologizing is one thing, but I don’t plan to do as Lork wishes…”6381645fbd54675b

Yuan would continue 89b044422c to gather materials 62d4bbabb8 for the Crimson 2b578add7e Disease. To survive f7c06dce1a when he 4a96dc9a0b eventually returned cb8cc3fb4e to his 3c296760d7 original world. However, despite having cc33340c03 a goal, various 58dc8bd7ef questions still lingered 3e2e92e3d7 in his mind.4e571f6d0b8d715d

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‘Why is Lork openly obstructing us? It seems like there’s a personal reason beyond just worrying about his safety or the game’s progress.’f12d2c55887c21a0

Could it be that Lork also has a significant reason to block the two of them? Not just to maintain the order of this world, but perhaps he is also one of the reasons this boy came to this world. Is it too much of a leap to speculate that way…?3c80b596697cbf34

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The more new 3bdcbd4016 facts I learn, 249ee0ec50 the more confused f950e8a948 I become. As my 09472ba6f3 purpose becomes c62980512a clearer, my 2def7aee9b hesitation grows c2231171c4 heavier. And above all, amidst fb2e9f3292 all this chaos, a 094edeace5 new question arises in 27c7a56834 my mind.17eaace53c4f55b3

‘Besides, why did I step into this world?’8710bbd0dad6f770

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The memory I encountered earlier left a significant question in Yuan’s mind. Before stepping into this world, the original Yuan had little intention of curing the Crimson Disease. He even held a faint pride in the fact that he could help his lover with that power. The fact that he would eventually die from a disease akin to a curse was undoubtedly not a big deal to his past self.73700ec42d294351

Of course, the cure for the Crimson Disease would be helpful to Yuan, but it wasn’t a reason important enough for his past self to abandon his lover and step into this endlessly repeating world. That was merely the Red Man’s purpose for coming to this world, not his own. This realization was vividly etched in Yuan’s mind.c0d3e271fffa8174

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‘Why did I come to this world, leaving behind a lover who cherished me? What am I trying to find?’00f9167268cc18ba

What exactly should I 9e6f4cf889 be searching for in a4cfc96c46 this world? In which direction d761d4ccb5 should I proceed? As I pondered d4a73b802c this newly arisen 4b9120a44a question, I took 5f92837584 a deep breath.0dbd71948331e916

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“…Yuan.”f81603a4e331640e

“Huh?”a954ae1c7c85a0b1

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The Red Man was staring at me with his eyes open. It felt incredibly strange for him to call me by my name instead of nicknames like ‘kid’ or ‘White One.’ebe39ad8214b5299

Moreover, that wasn’t the only strange thing. His eyes were still somewhat unfocused. It seemed like he was looking at me, but it was as if he was overlaying the image of someone else on top of me.77d5c663a3a05d2e

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“Uh, are you okay? We got the crystal ball for now…”5899813ebfb9fa9a

“Yuan, Yuan.”aaf73957509e2ffd

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Something’s not right. I felt a chill run down my spine with that ominous intuition. Just as I instinctively tried to step back, his eyes flashed, and his rough hand grabbed my shoulder. The pressure was so intense that it wouldn’t be surprising if my shoulder shattered.b8c12b9830817323

“Wh-why are you doing this!”510667921e95a46a

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“Why are you trying to run away? Why are you doing this?”e54ae7160861e240

I wasn’t trying to run away. And even if I was, I don’t know what’s wrong with that. Who is he to blame when he’s the one staring at people with strange eyes? But I instinctively realized that no matter how much I tried to persuade him now, it wouldn’t work.ae96e03bb8059dd9

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“I’m not running away! Is there a problem? Are you okay?”08d5993db0f34eb5

“Is it because I ran away? Are you angry because I disappeared? So now you’re trying to run away too, huh?”6c971f06ec453fa4

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Is it because 0267a548e0 of the crystal 99be95ab1f ball? Is he still lost 5402e21c99 in the past shown d61b61eba5 by the crystal ball? Yuan thought so as 59b96cd3e6 he hesitantly stepped back, 69535d887c but suddenly a completely c6c539b4ed different possibility crossed his 62d1decf89 mind.f7c1e3a74138c4e4

He looked around. The red aura that had filled the surroundings earlier had long since disappeared. It must have naturally withdrawn the power of calamity when he was entranced by the crystal ball. But now, Yuan’s body and mind were fine, and the scar on his cheek was intact without any heat.6e80e6ebe415d2df

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He looked down at the crystal ball. According to the illusion shown by the crystal ball earlier, having this prevents absorbing the aftereffects of others. It seems to play a role in blocking the Crimson Disease. If that’s the case…87c04e0ee47d1bbf

“Is this the aftereffect you’re experiencing right now?”28e7b338770d2a58

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Yuan is currently unable to absorb the Red Man’s aftereffects. That’s why this person is recklessly scattering his desires.ac7abdd6de82c979

“Aftereffects? S-sorry.”cd59cf3790689dc6

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“Sorry? Why are you suddenly acting like this?”b5023ed9878ddbea

“I’m sorry for relying on you again. I didn’t want this either. I never wished for something like this…”f6918f10b0c2dfbe

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Shouldn’t he let go if he’s really sorry? Does this person have a habit of apologizing to others when he’s overwhelmed by aftereffects? At least Yuan could recognize the person in front of him, but it’s clear that this person doesn’t even know who is standing before him.fb04207ed322b83c

“What, what are you trying to do? What are you wishing for?”887cca67307a78b9

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“It’s okay. This time, it won’t hurt. Okay? It’s alright.”1bed7a44cf6dccb4

What won’t hurt… As Yuan hesitated, not understanding the meaning, the man’s hand that had released his shoulder suddenly grabbed the back of Yuan’s head and pulled him closer. Yuan, taken aback, struggled belatedly, but there was no way to escape.43d91adb6c5a312d

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“D-don’t! Let go of this…!”589151b72df67d6c

Before he could finish 512cd728bf speaking, his mouth was 6bf23faf12 covered. The whisper that pretended 778fcd9ed5 to be gentle felt de453556ba deceitful, as the kiss 455998f58f was rough. As his body was 7b6de0579a pushed to the ground, d506cc10cc the back of his 8bfcd4891b head hit the hard 6c49f02e64 floor, but Yuan was b0cd028ed4 too dazed to care.1c04fe417d6006df

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The previous kiss was just a joke. It was either not sincere or he held back to avoid scaring a child. Yuan’s tongue felt like it was being bitten and chewed, and his mouth felt like it was being torn apart. The saliva running down his chin felt like blood.717a555606edee5d

He felt like he would suffocate from the lack of air. The weight of the man pressing down on him contributed to that feeling. The upper body pressed so close that he could feel the heartbeat, and even the heavy excitement from the lower body was a weight Yuan couldn’t bear.1aaa9fe065848988

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‘You said you were impotent… No, that’s not the issue right now. You said you wouldn’t do it here!’7bad1ea5f55f27ee

Even though the water 3b64e025cf had drained, the floor d2918acaee was still slippery, and 0e3df17bdf the stench was overwhelming 0d114718eb from all sides. In such an environment, 6480a3a2ae where even the corpse 592f82f9ae of a boy with 50c21f0652 a shattered head lay d68c0885ed nearby, who would want cdc33a32b0 to do such a 08ad8a5afa thing?7e3dceb89f394edf

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Moreover, there’s no reason to do such a thing with this man right now. Even if they mixed bodies here to relieve his aftereffects, what benefit would it bring? They wouldn’t be able to go further, and they’d end up losing their lives!f782e2be64305302

‘No, beyond such issues. This person right now…’b7d88d4399318e7e

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Moreover, this person isn’t even in his right mind. If he were aware of who he was mixing bodies with, it might have been slightly better. If he recognized Yuan’s existence and was in a state where he couldn’t control his rising desires, of course, Yuan still wouldn’t want to mix bodies, but he wouldn’t feel such immense repulsion as he did now.da81a94de7b4bf6c

But this person right now…8b873739bb47a7a4

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“Ugh, huff…”2f141f9754af5005

Yuan looked into the man’s eyes as if entranced. It was a gaze he had never seen before. Those eyes, which seemed on the verge of tears, were filled with intense and bewildering emotions. While an inexplicable sense of guilt and remorse was most apparent, beyond that guilt lay an even larger and overwhelming emotion.97b468824527638f

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‘It’s someone he loves.’b8a1b28af42ff848

This person is seeing not Yuan, but someone he loves. Someone so precious and dear that just looking at them makes his heart race, someone he can’t forget no matter how long he hasn’t seen them. Not a hollow sanctuary reached upon death, but the one true sanctuary in the world where he can entrust his heart.b2e02754018d2fba

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Thus, Yuan realized.fa106e6d1104ca88

This would be a 4bc2b1ff39 terrible thing not only 689c110508 for himself but also 81853f0b2e for that man.9b4fc4300dad0669

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⌖♕⌖♕⌖efdae23b57373d2f

The relentless torment that seemed to devour a person continued persistently for a while. The heat from the contact and the pain of being bitten inside the mouth felt like it was turning his brain to mush. It was hard to distinguish whether the salty taste filling his mouth was the taste of blood or the taste of tears flowing down the man’s cheek.1f00a6f66b67c811

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This time, there was no room to breathe, and Yuan thought it wouldn’t be strange if he suffocated right then and there. If he died, would this man try to violate his corpse? It wouldn’t make a difference since it’s just a hollow body projecting the image in his head anyway.d90dfb8cfc510fa8