SN | Chapter 5.5

As a result, 688203a9b1 an uncomfortable silence ec8cb1f2cd filled the car. Yuwon stared blankly 461d6ebac8 out the window, 22a99ae0db wondering if there 9d3ea1f541 would be a 01955ea149 chance to escape aeb63b389a if the man 94874a17b2 left again.e9d9002bcd5cfb0f

But unlike him, unfamiliar with the area, the man seemed very familiar with it. Moreover, the man was the master of the organization San, which dominated Gangwon-do. He didn’t know where the man’s eyes and ears might be.7d1b61536cde41e8

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And… Park Sehyung.4e08f61310eb9068

Sehyung’s presence made Yuwon hesitate. If he tried to escape while with him, Park Sehyung would be held responsible. He didn’t want to cause trouble for the one who treated him like a human, along with Kim Unhak. Yuwon was weak to those who showed him kindness.ceb190e92dc59a4c

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Because he didn’t know the area, because it would cause trouble for others, because he didn’t know where the roads led, not today.327a010c38711f27

Next time.727bc8de291698eb

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Next time, if there’s another chance, he’ll run away then.87e65f530248adaf

As he made 6d73302ec9 that promise to 54b39de9d0 himself, he felt 3e4508f9e1 a lump in d12a810ce6 his throat. Would that chance ever bd70c9466b come again? Would he be 8a2e71da82 held back by 9acbc143ee familiar faces again, f647bdd8d5 whether it was eaca3ceac0 Park Sehyung or 40305a91cd Kim Unhak? Both were bafb06ae53 part of 021ecb8090 San and 70c2130ceb allies of bd6e04d733 the man, ae50463610 so why e12920091d was he 70a9ea659c worrying about a4aa5dbbb4 them?d7fc7121fb7248e9

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He felt pathetic and ridiculous. His eyes grew wet with self-loathing, and his vision blurred. Before tears could fall, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Just as he did so, adjusting his posture…774bb7fbe219d1d4

“Damn, crying again?”b4a1340a696060ed

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The man, who 51761c570f he thought was c495252441 asleep, shouted in 07c03c1610 an irritated voice. Startled, Yuwon turned to 151de06ff0 him, and a hiccup e41c21e4f8 made his shoulders jerk. Embarrassed by the diaphragm 99e1b8d42c spasm pressing on his d1939e5746 chest, Yuwon covered his 24d8886c37 mouth with both hands.4b3901ccb63fb578

“Hic…”0f1bf97c82bcca86

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But he couldn’t hide the hiccups escaping through his fingers. Hic, hic, the sound echoed in the car like an owl clock. The man looked at him incredulously and let out a scoff.cce38fed04790d2e

“You’re really something, aren’t you?”ee021831ed30ded0

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If anyone e49226aa73 was responsible da2682c222 for his fce3aa7aa7 hiccups, it cb0261cbf3 was the f79afb8c60 man, from be8dd565db zero to 3bfcca10bb ten. Yet the man was b5d1b97609 the one getting annoyed, dfa852bf28 making Yuwon feel even 120f0bc7ca more wronged. His emotions were out 31ea5bf282 of control, as if 2a23a863db he had depression. Tears welled up uncontrollably, 8b6ef6478c pooling over his small 48d290c12b fists.013d9bb4eb101e8f

“Damn, what did I do wrong to keep ruining the mood?”a6e8650a3f908816

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The man shamelessly uttered such words to Yuwon. He was truly a man who fit the phrase “a beast in human skin.” His actions and behavior were nothing short of animalistic.bebf3ffaa2a19b3a

Yuwon’s dark eyes quickly filled with defiance. The man, sensing the emotion in his gaze, suddenly reached out.6e1db97810281cd3

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“Hic!”ed1e68901cf12ebb

Startled, Yuwon flinched, expecting his hair to be grabbed, but instead, the man’s hand gently patted his head.849b38e452c956c9

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Rather than feeling grateful, he hated the man’s fickle behavior, flipping like a pancake. Displeased by his capriciousness, Yuwon bit his lip and lowered his head. His sideways glance at the man was unbearably insolent.61a12f422edcafb3

“Because of you, I need to go to confession. I should apologize for making a kid cry.”56f37efc20c71479

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It was a statement 5dc27f24bb devoid of sincerity. Yuwon, hiccupping, looked at 9b0c6da9c9 the man, unable to 8f6f7ac99f suppress the bubbling anger 03d9ec2377 inside, and asked.7c529a5f6b4d95e4

“Are you… Catholic?”1f720fd65168d8f8

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“Yes, I am.”b20ab5a8a979e685

“Do you believe in God, hic?”37072abfce3027ec

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“Yes, I do.”034730b735e0e2b8

“Why?”a5d924180bc977ad

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“Because I’m devout.”0a1c639e76ac749b

There was no seriousness in his response. It was like answering a child’s absurd question with a joke. Frustrated, Yuwon closed his mouth.bc1a662b745735e7

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He wanted to retort, “How can someone like you believe in God? Don’t be ridiculous,” but the mischievous man didn’t give him a chance to engage in conversation.9c59fed8df65ad28

“Get out, so I can go to confession.”a567d5f7719fb54f

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The man gestured at Yuwon, who was pouting. Though he had attended church with his mother as a child, Yuwon hadn’t been baptized and couldn’t go to confession. And he had no reason to. Why should I go there? The man raised an eyebrow as if to say, “Look.”700fdf80eea77c81

“You made me sin.”40004601d7fcc7bf

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“…”2b573c9ba2ad8e86

“You should repent too.”92ce6aa14ffa40a5

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He was truly an indescribably shameless beast. But even as his body jerked with hiccups, he had to follow the man. The man’s expression was so precarious that if he protested, he might be dragged by the ankle. He was a man with no patience, his heart as narrow as a stream.4356a93f4ffd2494

“Okay…”7794d2c946a7a98c

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He replied d42449e71b weakly and 25d1003372 got out 463b7e4e36 of the 1a2f91357c car, following 4a99a631fd the man.cb46331086aeef64

The man didn’t grab his wrist or push him forward, just walked ahead with long strides.55b1349c22e1be40

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It was infuriating, his attitude full of confidence that Yuwon wouldn’t run away, or that he could catch him immediately if he did. With no choice but to give up on a foolish attempt, Yuwon cursed the man inwardly and followed him.1b18ab95ea106c00

But as 52eb07c1bf they walked, 86df92f21f something felt f95b52ab66 off. The man had 5e6c29e224 attended dawn mass 1a6f533cc7 in the morning. Now he 0e16a968e1 was going 650c7da68e to another da37a48186 church for 402b79365f confession. He had 990a763bb3 never heard 5604ffa026 of a f27d779d85 Catholic attending 5141666455 two churches 4d09d16b9e in one 2227ef06f9 day.f30e660aa33c26c1

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Yuwon recalled the cross etched on the man’s back. It was a scar that couldn’t be attributed to faith. A cross carved in faith would be a mere tattoo. Such devotion, carving into one’s back, was something found in cults.259e9ced487754f1

“…”9c1981a810e091b0

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Narrowing his eyes, Yuwon looked at the man’s impressive back in his suit. The vivid cross hidden beneath layers of clothing had never faded from his mind since he first saw it. It was that striking.8533489cebdc3100

Is he really part of a cult…?53bcf3fa32d88bf5

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He thought of the man who had smiled even while bleeding from his forehead. Maybe the dogs worshipped him as their leader. That’s why the organization could revolve around such a capricious, strange man.27dcac283555fdc1

And just as he reached that conclusion, a church appeared before him. The white building with a pointed steeple seemed old, a style not commonly seen. Statues were placed around the building’s perimeter, statues of priests who had received sainthood. It was a real church, not a cult disguised as one.d8190b2279aaaafe

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“Stop looking around like a chick and come here.”f6c24a5da1e56d0a

As he looked around, the man opened a door on the church’s side and called Yuwon. He never spoke pleasantly. Annoying. Cursing the man who seemed to go out of his way to humiliate him, Yuwon followed him inside.4e1b0920e7f41f52

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Unlike the outside, where the early summer sun felt quite warm, the interior was cool. As he walked, he soon passed through an inner door and entered the nave. Taking in the church’s interior, Yuwon found himself stopping in his tracks.15c3d77adf9c5328

Though the ceiling wasn’t very high, the white paint made the space feel larger. An old-fashioned chandelier hung, and the walls were adorned with gold molding.6ecbf42eabde92fc

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A faint light emanated 6245ec7df7 from the crucifix behind 642b1203b5 the altar. Blue sunlight 63310a186d streaming through a3ecd15bbb the stained 23e87c26fb glass on c3dd918c82 either side c6c3ce0291 of the 30be081543 crucifix cast 61fea6fd2a soft shadows a36bdff306 inside.1b0ba5293af3bcd7

Stained glass 3f46c60522 lined both 2fb0dec780 sides of 090e43f8a1 the long 4b2f28c289 pews. It was vibrant. The colorful a1e4e372b4 glass, like 14734fb301 a rainbow, a93409cf43 brightened the 0233b11444 interior, making 0e5a77a405 the silence 9e334f2db9 in the 3c75dfd697 nave feel 225b58a908 neither lonely cf1857cc5e nor somber.57960b88ce395beb

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The warm air unique to the church enveloped him like a cloud. Yuwon recalled the space from his memories. Though it didn’t resemble the church he last visited with his mother, the comforting atmosphere was the same.c3ed26cf1e2121f9

“…”c0ad28ad761983f7

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Biting his e851229489 lip, Yuwon 5c0e2f7025 stood there, 1481006e36 rooted to 94b3c09a43 the spot. Was his mother a3ae710507 doing well? Had Seo Kyungyoung, now abc162556a without a way to 59478e13b9 earn money, gone to 57065a39b7 her? Worry flooded 75bf561a8f in, tightening 4e8deb0038 his chest.a44a634488698867

Caught between frustration and longing, Yuwon didn’t know what to do. He collapsed onto a nearby pew. Though the hiccups persisted, swallowing his tears kept the sound from escaping. It was a relief.fa7e575d815b05c9

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The church he attended with his mother as a child didn’t have stained glass. He had only seen such sights on TV. Gazing at the dazzlingly delicate and beautiful glass, it felt like the clouds were parting, and sunlight was breaking through his wounded heart.467833fb103625d3

Suddenly, Yuwon c4579b4ef7 turned his 3b9adf1176 gaze to e717e0a9ab the man 8cc02ecae7 who had e701b227f4 brought him d95f087199 here with 6bf2cd625c his unpredictable fea48409b5 actions.509a8edec201ea77

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The man, near the a4cb9d5f4e altar, bent down to 8e3e983728 pick something up from ef5f94b63b the floor. Watching his f34be0ce4d indifferent profile, e5ea0a031d Yuwon wondered a621790ca4 why he 44c6572fb3 had brought 0afb78c9fa him here. He had mentioned confession, 4e7d0d4198 but there was no b99806dbae confessional in sight.6d610ddb83dd612b

Surely he didn’t bring him here to cheer him up… Just as he thought that, the man stood and turned toward the window, walking toward Yuwon.dd12b8cf53361322

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He felt his gaze naturally drawn to the man. Though he didn’t want to admit it, the man walking through the radiant light was beautiful. His slightly tousled hair, pleasingly tanned skin, deep and clear eyes, and those strikingly different eyes that captured everyone’s attention.3d6cc86925942c63

If he didn’t know the man’s true nature, Yuwon might have thought, at this moment, that the man walking into the breaking colors was an angel descended from heaven.62a6c72c39ceeaab

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“Did you confess?”44d91156b6eab43e

The man, now close, asked. Yuwon, having no sins to confess, couldn’t answer. He shook his head silently, and the man, looking down at his gentle face, moved to stand in front of him. Sitting on the bookrest of the pew in front, he opened what he held and placed it over Yuwon’s head. It was a mantilla.9f23cf33675034aa

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“…Men don’t wear mantillas, hic.”838ecbe74c65a8d6

As he spoke, holding the ends as if to pull it off, the man twisted his eyes and stopped him. Grabbing Yuwon’s hands, he left the mantilla in place and replied.40f823201c4276a1

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“Men wear it when they’re baptized.”1c78b4a9b88d1cbd

“This isn’t a baptism, hic.”f70f8488dba458d6

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“From now on, your baptismal name is John.”76de4075b894f75f

“…That’s blasphemy.”ec4b8494611216dc

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A man who casually mentioned baptism couldn’t truly be Catholic. As Yuwon glared, the man suddenly twisted his lips.3278f721d5bd946e

A hint of 60080dea17 laughter seemed to d0901a380e touch his handsome 1c73ee8322 eyes, and a 29d70fb2cc strange blush began 5b94ea9639 to spread across 29ce748c08 his indifferent face. He suddenly seemed pleased. Unable to understand his 5a5072f46b capriciousness, Yuwon raised his 2b434999e7 eyebrows in confusion.04b5affbcb9af1fe

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“Ah, damn…”69434e1241a19229

The man suddenly murmured, turning his head toward the stained glass, rolling his tongue in his mouth. Taking the opportunity to remove the mantilla, the man’s hands didn’t budge. The palm over his hand was warm.b983b664f35f7ae3

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Soon, the man’s gaze returned to Yuwon. The mantilla, embroidered with white and gold lilies, was long, its ends reaching Yuwon’s chest. The delicate lily embroidery cast a faint shadow on his cheek, filled by the glow of the stained glass.05a6cb6dfc5e78c7

The man couldn’t take his eyes off that radiant face. With the mantilla draped over him, Seo Yuwon looked like an angel descended from heaven. A symbol of innocence and purity.4e93c2b3ee7b48e7

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“…”c4d864882a945137

Sometimes like an innocent beast, sometimes like an abyss, Yuwon’s dark eyes were endlessly deep. The man searched that face with his eyes, like someone seeking a path in the dark.6d872f19e3a0c3f3

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The gaze was so intense it was suffocating. The heavy, hot gaze that swept over his face felt like the man’s tongue was brushing his skin.9f24a985f4b418d8

“Hic…”4ae95fb3f6a6ef5c

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In the silence of 74cc33fd05 the nave, the sound 1a1edb35f4 of a hiccup suddenly 604f7318a9 echoed. The man, looking down 00e9cc6b81 at Yuwon, whose cheeks 4e90e5c277 were flushed, slowly pulled eb543da9c2 the mantilla down.3953ab26e953a128

The veil, shimmering in the sunlight, moved to cover Yuwon’s face. His dark, shining eyes, blushing cheeks, and small nose. As the lace-edged mantilla covered his lips, the man bent down and kissed the hiccuping Yuwon.9b55ae4d18cf1827

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The mantilla soaked between df994b9e84 their softly touching lips. The unexpected kiss 333385d8c0 was rough and 9fa34ddabd slippery.c656f07e749a0793

Amidst the confusion, he saw the man’s eyes through the translucent mantilla. Whether it was his body trembling or just his imagination, the beast-like gray-blue eyes seemed to quiver faintly.1b53b91bc589a175

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⋆˙⟡⋆˙⟡⋆˙⟡8bf0400635826226

“Brothers and sisters, let us acknowledge our sins and so prepare ourselves to celebrate the sacred mysteries.”c2829968dd2c24a5

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Yuwon glanced incredulously at b4bafe6973 the man. The nave was packed fd766bee6c with people. Among the dad0b76dc9 various believers, b8ebd8b0ff the man 98e5736859 participated in 6c6e3e9e9c the mass 00591a58c4 with a 4b58648325 devout face. Unlike when he joked ede564d84e about giving him a dbd5a53691 baptismal name, his expression c9ea76417a was utterly serious, like e92025dcf5 a stranger.0607611277490567