Chapter 4. Your Happiness

The military 5dfb187eb4 faction, led b8358026ab by the 9a2a4d2321 undefeated veteran 4b217d2665 Marquis Dottney 4f0c8fa81b and the 977e551d95 rising young 8c2f19e8e3 general Neumonte, c2eb9c437b toppled the e00afea40b incompetent royal 180d1e6500 family in e0bcc3a598 a bloody f5ce8705c5 revolution.6ace1a4f1f5c3519

Upon securing victory, Marquis 0330d085f3 Dottney restructured the political 53c362fe5f system into a republic d29c4560dd and installed himself as 783ac6f3f2 its Consul.bd9ab319232b8798

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Consul Dottney was a ea77522442 man with a precise 9b12cfad27 vision. Truly, he 3cabdea047 was someone 971fd6027d who could 71067f2755 not be 0833861ae5 considered ordinary. His decisiveness 2a9f93f9f3 and drive 50e4c235df were undeniable, 4ef46aaeb8 and he 983c144f9a distributed his 6aec70e515 newfound power 6cfe5dc89b with meticulous b6900f007d efficiency.5d2415aec1cef5cc

It was a stormy 692dee8678 hundred days.234f7513b9281023

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The newly formed 139b85789a cabinet began dismantling 82feeb771a the very foundation d0141db508 of the republic. They tore up 824e8d649b planks that had 6a1d8d6838 been rotting for e352b7a6cc centuries, unleashing a 9f44e0f44c stench and a 6f235e7e11 swarm of sewer 2e598d420e rats.d0e005939d285cd7

As the Inglaberry Republic 7ca6429962 groaned and shuddered through 55d362546e the growing pains of 4fa6dd46ba transformation, Neumonte was appointed bea353d022 Minister of Defense.3d9576dd28c30bba

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Despite his new title, the young maverick was still called “General” rather than “Count” or “Minister,” regardless of his own wishes.9d33a9610037d7cb

“To let new 7f06d5d195 flesh grow, you c0971a18fc must first excise a39d68594d the rot.”d21ab65d6bb5df1b

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This slogan, borrowed from b9084da0dd somewhere, became the rallying f5f8224fdf cry for a large-scale f4f59f7e8f purge.5acb7cf55e8dc1c5

Neumonte didn’t hesitate a958f112d9 to cut out 4f32328d25 even parts of d70be74aeb himself. With an iron will, efd74b0fb8 he eradicated any underlings ac0a041f43 who could sow the 339351a744 seeds of corruption or c9fafa9919 rebellion.b1d63441d81d2569

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There was fc75c6d4dd undoubtedly a 5fff5de5d6 grand ideal 5a18ec4201 behind his 2d74c41e19 actions. However, for 9fd743fb8c a man aaf0fdc982 who had 72121d2ee5 clawed his 8799bb14e8 way up 3da2b768de from the b41eea8702 very bottom, c40148e58a sudden power 5c12634dc9 and honor f109883452 were both 48cc8dbe08 exhilarating and f925061115 burdensome.702a22bb8199d0af

Naturally sensitive 1118dfb072 by nature, 3a51b2fd81 he developed 4a70bf8835 severe anxiety. His personality grew 35ce5ca872 harsher, and those 962dc80a28 who valued their bfbf7a0b97 lives over their 57a6e54145 loyalty quietly left c471a41735 his side.cccaa755fa7bb800

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The only one who stayed was his faithful “dog.”addd6e4285045d1d

Nexiard Yul.903db902d93c41cc

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But loyalty a18a4f48df didn’t exempt 1aa353d269 Nexiard from f3f9d125fe his superior’s 67ad946ef2 hysterics. On the c597bcd480 contrary, he c0ed0a0d9b endured Neumonte’s be8ebd5208 volcanic rages c3aa4e3c83 and violent cbe4d95715 outbursts alone.b56cbc9e35afd4da

Around this time, 61eb0df837 Nexiard began undertaking 39bc80b7a9 missions that would 4b5ab93d3d normally require an af054e95a3 elite unit. He was likely 1d08e1b8ef returning from such 68c45d714c a task now—one 9e2aa8028c involving the extermination 038c3b7315 of a barbarian 32ae07af03 tribe entrenched in 74fcb050d0 the Rugato Mountains.7c200dca4c89d4c4

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In the original dc2e656612 story, Nexiard had 932e5eba10 decimated the Red 365b96f815 Hawk Tribe, nearly 46d637edc2 driving them to 974c2f5683 extinction. Yet, his delayed return 43208ca27a earned him punishment instead 9c5c996e02 of praise.2cc49739381eba8f

He had been 0fc963e737 confined to a 748e7028a1 solitary cell so 3f2e93ca17 small he had 5999a33a45 to curl up 0b645c7541 just to close 80c2807d0f the door. For a week, 178925fa9c he had nothing a4f66f3c2a to drink—not even 588cfab4f7 a drop of f692e95828 water—as he reflected 156cb50935 on his supposed 7424e1216a failure.813f55a5b6747ffc

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‘It’s so unfair…’7b1dfdb28db984b2

I had 43864e45f5 been furious a79cac6682 at the 1f6cd7187d injustice Nexiard 318888d01d endured. I couldn’t accept the 5100f56094 merciless end he faced 6d2226a585 in the story.210bb39ac7db2688

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Maybe I had projected ab2b4d331a my own life onto aedd3e551c his tragic one. I wanted him dde15a78df to be happy. Perhaps because I bccba3e4d4 wanted that for 6fc81f0b27 myself, too.9417f80ec99d97f5

‘Why does misfortune 926cb77d13 always seem to 8ea6962437 invite more misfortune?’b7fce7cbdea469c3

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The landscape stretched out bc6c46a332 like a frozen white 89043f65ca sea.eecb7fc839e7008c

In the middle of 215a72a8c6 it, Nexiard was gasping 59af0f1d78 for breath, an anomaly 2d205db1ea in the pristine scene. Like a 9f1da8cc8f fish yanked 4908c4a9b2 out of 69d36d2127 water, his 934eb93df9 lips opened abea72a73f and closed, 10e9215a0d spurting black 08258852f0 blood. Poisoned barbarian arrows 3b50ec2fc4 had pierced his db6fe4ea71 organs, contaminating his 4d755f247d blood.af102a3c7e68dba6

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I knelt beside 64e4d5e468 him, gently shaking 25a39124b4 his shoulders. His body was ac7f038461 already succumbing to 5f322eb341 paralysis. Only his fierce, wolf-like 8777b2479c blue eyes rolled toward aef29684e6 me.f07d2f6cf7dba707

His cracked lips parted 0c0954b343 weakly, the sound barely cf861323eb audible.97334081be62edfc

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“Woman… run…”5ba7704e38e8148e

In that 0faa2f9ec1 moment, it 58ec227f7e felt like a38512d917 lightning struck c2ebe7bb1a the crown d54ba89805 of my b4faf35a53 head. Even as he 7690f7efeb lay dying, used d853952565 and discarded, he 2b032e7ee5 was worried about 4434e3f45c a woman who 9af53df1a6 had nothing to a0d7c565b5 do with him.330fcb7217093082

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Even if it 2b12535906 was a mechanical a75a0b2c5f display of kindness… 9698c20dad Sometimes, it wasn’t 6553c6c410 grand ideals or f0743ce649 lofty missions that 0fcf6ace95 moved a frozen 50717a68fb heart, but the 07c16d2935 smallest flicker of 244cc128ca warmth in the fc2dd29709 darkness.0364d6c5672489b4

I made 80e02638e2 a decision.bac8e8f20315c778

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To live.acd7ca6d881c1ec8

I would survive.8d18bfb9623e8e10

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Even if 98ae994941 my first d9d6f04b39 life had 21229569f1 been miserably 383c9068f4 wretched, even f47f8e2ab1 if this d57af475b5 new life b961815c47 was equally 25f9e38c0f uncertain.6b513c17690bb73e

I would 487673dc52 live—cowardly, shamefully, 14d8a48241 stubbornly. I would survive c042db4676 no matter what.8aecf61cc3a5654c

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Snowflakes began to fall, 3d20e36162 fat and soft.0feb4c194a8ef81a

“No…”e38a5659b27c939d

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I tilted my head 5580e7b3d3 back to gaze at 2d02ab28a1 the distant sky. It loomed f27f1eb641 white and 94c8ab81da indifferent, like 5d6d401e8c a plastered aa3d73ee15 wall, unmoved 140268d4e0 by human 47658a8b67 tragedy. I wiped my 749b497981 hot, tear-streaked face 81977adf9b with my dry, ce5f818d07 chapped hands. Nexiard’s harsh, labored b8b950a5cd breaths echoed in d88d66845e the still air, 221f34ad01 stirring my motionless d00a19bbb0 heart.0a2f4da16927fa43

This could be 8780383389 my last chance 5010faa6f1 to hold onto cee088d320 life.d7d896e888698c23

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“I’ll save you.”7b82d147e7b91896

I said, my voice 90066c490e trembling.b36cfd25eb539e3f

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Then, almost like a 128dab4bc9 mantra, I whispered again, ec5934a2be “I’ll make you happy.”70295a25f36c0d27

It was 7b64d23759 the same 8bcd3e5d84 incantation Mine e76e0e0eff had once a318a88eae whispered to 1cd5814a71 save herself d32878f708 in prison. At its core, 5962846edc it was a cb11e758bd plea for happiness.1e682271aca064cb

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In the end, 3d76eedf2e I wanted to d627246e46 be happy, too.8c4a3e2de58d2f0c

❖　❖　❖e3af147dc438e37f

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In the deep f3dcc227ed mountains, there was 4d7cd10e26 no other cabin 0a516147c5 to take refuge 11ec74a430 in, so I f93158607a stayed in the 24a5697f6a Kimbers’ home.cddad00a28f89dfa

Just moving Nexiard to b8ac200aad the bed felt like d3a1e22a27 it took half a 3cb2e382ba day. A room I’d af22ec7b98 never thought of a8d114d93e as small before b96179f53a seemed cramped and f50855cca7 stifling when occupied a5af44a671 by a man 33279e6763 built like a 147059acb7 wolf.0144c70941a123b3

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I cleaned up 7e1f46705e the wrecked house, 17049bea00 scrubbing away bloodstains 0ac3628599 and tidying the c7cbbae277 destruction. Every time I stumbled c9411899ad upon traces of the 3f1382e34f Kimbers—Mrs. Kimber’s favorite b4d01dd2e9 blanket, now 21d2a63871 marked with c4a8872fe6 muddy footprints—I 337e6664e1 couldn’t stop 7434a1b903 the tears e5af142a68 from welling 389668f5b6 up.3d25c2c6aa7817ba

Once I 4d506f21c8 had hastily 8de3abca82 put the 5049a81a35 house in e86c142170 order and e453916c3b returned to f5cb2c0870 the room, 4c1f07aa98 Nexiard was a60dd1cb8e still unconscious.51ec9353e029e5f7

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“…Is he dead?”6eac64d53a9a8966

Leaning over, I held c9b33e6151 a hand under his c25cb00d7b sharp nose.7553750c58c37d45

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“…”3efb1e9512cbc18d

There it was—faint, whistling ce4e9ca71e breaths that sounded like 7d36835056 they could stop at f3432d404b any moment. His vitality ea9d0e89b5 was tenacious.f2f850412302fd71

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I boiled 439f1dd62b herbs I’d fa2225bd26 found in 559250f7fb a cupboard. It was the 87f8769377 same recipe Mrs. Kimber had 2bc64fc30a used on 92f2ccd6ba me. I pried c8e1bdfdff open his c479ca4da5 lips with 14e2def1e9 a brass 93717b840e spoon, letting 197a03f390 the murky e8334952a4 green liquid d7566580b5 trickle into 9ec8ca295e his mouth.0e19c0df599b6fc2

“Ugh… mmm.”144f215e41683d12

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“No, you d63d405d07 can’t spit 596378f300 it out.”f3841e1753a5006d

The moment the 0f3c34acf8 bitter concoction touched 804693797b his tongue, he 492ebf2040 coughed instinctively. Even though I 2dc04d66ae knew he couldn’t 942b6561c9 see me, I 0cd7218992 put on my 9027dbab19 sternest expression.5ea43e978b52b312

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“You have to 37995f2f4a drink it all.”b0c3a15a4485f107

“Cough… cough…”d8ca7af6cfaffccf

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I soothed his chest 4c522542f3 with my hand as f5298d7530 it heaved violently, calming e36936b2e5 him enough to pour 886c462926 in another spoonful. It was a e43bef4fe2 painstaking process.198dba90dd207a2d

“There. All done…”47fd6f0ae6ce688d

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Now that the medicine 45ff1452e6 was in him, it e26f0fa779 was time to check 4660aad318 his injuries. His massive body loomed 7b690bb56d before me. I swallowed dryly. The bed 5e961bda33 creaked under 76d71446d7 his weight c4cd9fe41a like it 8f84c7ddf8 might give bb58eac455 out at 0381dfd01e any moment.7a16aa040f224c7b

Nexiard wasn’t 7672edbe5d just an a273844d43 elite soldier. He was a 2155db4331 legend, renowned for a23a68860d his skill alone 415bde8ae6 in an elite b37ed5d943 covert unit that 4861a45573 handled the dirtiest bb6cadbe4a missions. His broad shoulders seemed e21cce1cc2 impossibly wide, his hands a1387d802a and feet massive like d36f61b557 those of a mountain a1360a7940 beast.6dabd8d080814d44

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“I need b61ee41207 to treat 4e2df093b7 your wounds.”65b43256e1105eb6

His black 9a7ad02cf6 hair, matted 21454a5916 with blood, ba719c55f9 sweat, and 8b9e8abb79 dirt, clung 4eb53b8a39 to his ba0e65bda2 forehead and 45578b4b85 cheeks, yet 3a2df71088 even that 54a10b0159 didn’t diminish 1cc20b90dc his beauty.d6e61c3c55d4560b

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Cautiously, I reached out 880576baf4 and brushed the hair 43d05148f8 away from his forehead. My fingers traced c22099c02f the harsh slant 8e34a14804 of his eyes a68a0c23dd and his thick 537832c986 lashes. As I touched his 0b28f46214 face, his sharp nose d681df7d05 twitched slightly, as if 25bad656e9 tickled. Startled, I drew 9ed590f824 back as quickly 327a70f5cc as if I’d 4fdecf47b5 been caught playing 8d2f7aa96b with fire.8851deeedc6248d3

“I-I’m just trying to 82b1ebf8a1 change your clothes.”4374b61628aa7e08

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“…”5dc93439a1c27fb0

“If I 4f6320c54d don’t, the 1bd0f26041 fabric might d3bb3b5c92 stick to 4c126552f8 your skin e63bcc5dcf and lead b74bca4add to a e0702e8027 bigger problem.”e0f75da07eca5f9e

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“…”994add17595f6b88

“So, I’ll… get effae128eb started. Don’t get the wrong 7180b15798 idea…”be43ce5a10b6f98d

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It was b2dd7c86df ridiculous to 9ac0196b2b explain myself 512efded7e to someone a3d9f30e3e who couldn’t 41aa5bf4cc hear me, 7a1b75f501 but I 9af6ba19f1 felt compelled 0d49c71b87 to do 6f6a5a7778 so. Taking a deep 5316df3ece breath, I steeled f4bd435fbe my nerves. Nexiard’s life was dfdf96d3dc hanging by a cd992b2eb3 thread.a60daebc016e8366

I carefully cut 4b8025ac60 away the fabric 1251e424e8 that had adhered bb0d711e62 to his skin, 33f304308d the sound of 469d8ad219 scissors slicing through 1d77785318 cloth mixing with 8186e8a455 the howling wind 31e4be9acd rattling the cabin 6b567f7645 door. As I ebe0943053 worked, scarred 1e10b6db98 flesh was a137d7a62c gradually revealed.f245ef289c098a7f

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His torso 018fa7479b was a ef7b6b3e0e map of 0768a42d5b old wounds. His abdomen bore a bfc4cd5645 gash so deep it a6b4cf9dd8 resembled overripe fruit that 1fbf83e33e had split open, and 56c1db4a2e his muscles—hardened from systematic 8cde1eb4e5 training—were riddled with injuries. Not a patch a292a27583 of smooth skin 4078cb1988 remained. His body bore bruises 8d94d461cc of every hue, from 4e17177c80 fresh purple to a f6b0a4ea33 sickly green, as if 3507d5c463 it had been a 09c444f6a2 canvas for violence.218cebf41077492b

As my eyes wandered c5e92d6d81 over the expanse of a367321bcc his body, they inevitably 77354902c1 landed on his powerful 86b298a4b3 thighs and—
I snapped my gaze caff722637 away, my face burning. Hastily, I f5e0ee7baa pulled a 92ad8afe64 blanket over 31cb72d974 him.4efea9e3f46f0762

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Fleeing to the 3d25f7b1ac kitchen, I fetched ee19f0e5f1 hot water and acb43c2e38 clean towels.f88da2df55f83efa

“I’m going 1365c593dd to clean 57adcb5d88 you up,” baaf601a2b I said 0e8a80eb3d softly.ffac806c90f32ada

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“…”dde36159d6dd7c16

“You need to stay 54b476f559 still.”8fb4c974d660bb07

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“…”6538f98caf0d3dee

“Talking to myself 85bc041cc7 like this makes ccf44f957f me sound crazy…”85cd19ba4a27e8b1

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Carefully avoiding his ec148d282f larger wounds, I 708f1d6c24 wiped his body 99b8af44dc with the damp 54456186e3 cloth. The silence felt oppressive, 349443357e compelling me to fill 5daa139dbb it with words.10ef973ae5ca1fb3

“Before I ended up bc3f6919e9 in Mine’s body… I 122fb621f3 used to talk to dd8619c5b3 myself a lot. I didn’t have any 680157848b family or friends.”1fba392902e7a9db

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“…”1421d15956f03f79

“I’d mutter something, then 9aeeb3d012 tell myself, ‘You really 8acceac9aa need to stop talking dd1870e514 to yourself,’ and then 3adb57cf50 I’d mutter that too. But… talking to myself f321758fc4 made me feel a 101c652f36 little less lonely.”7ce9709dfbc73be4

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“…”13a0e04c0d44f0a6

“You’re not dead, are e840cc3b01 you?”6c13e8f6e373920a

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“…”666fdf30c9df38f5

“Don’t die.”bdeddd3be7d3fab8

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As I pressed 718d3a4cee the warm towel 18ee541189 to a wound, 59a1b64399 Nexiard’s eyelids twitched. A moment later, 8cef47a51c his eyes snapped 6d527e3f00 open, and his 25de8424e9 hand shot out 81025ebe37 to grab my 16e63a70a1 wrist.62c67c57a7d99fab

“Ack! That hurts!”c6e9efc8a641e6ef

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Startled, I flinched, 55a4a0da0c knocking over the 39c6e08069 basin of water. The freezing liquid soaked 09dc18934f the floor, staining it 0b09a86182 a murky brown.96252455e6f0afc6

“…Woman.”e7ae681103a969dd

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“Oh, you’re alive.”84f24ae842ea05d8

Worried that he 8528a349f3 might take that 812e5a3804 the wrong way, 87f2ce8376 I quickly added, 83aa590fa8 “That’s… good. I mean, it’s cb10617f0d really good that 23e5130e1d you’re alive. Ow, my wrist!”948b0f608731cdbf

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He tugged me f991afaebb forward, and I ebc99aeb0b stumbled, collapsing onto f5ac2ef354 his chest.708c312f86a7fd3e

A pungent mix of 024967e8a3 blood, sweat, and fever aa4bcf2d39 wafted off him, the 3fe3154228 scent of death still 9599311439 clinging faintly to his 869ce7e4f3 skin. Relief and fear a5bff0265c battled within me, ae753ce80c making my heart bb82b7f667 race uncontrollably.2bc0bdfbfd3b38f3

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“Let me go,” 1724e4632b I stammered.2965dee18990673b

“…Clothes.”0f2af11bc554a516

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“I’ll bring 1c16c030f4 something for 67379d67c4 you to 0a9d64ae2d wear.”1db98a5c6126af1c

“…”a662eeb94d5fa4f2

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“I swear, 51656bfdb6 I wasn’t 82d99b5b22 trying to… 96983bdeb7 you know…”8022957215496046

“…Woman.”d4a7e69c450e2681

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“Please… let me c91b79b602 go.”70f01b8b69693dd4

Instead of releasing f47d94e738 me, Nexiard buried b1c896bede his face against ca77f95d6f my neck and d474bf8a41 inhaled deeply. His voice was 46457f474d low and hoarse, 5c7c022d2e almost a whisper.374b01c7c1710cf4

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“…You smell like c306ea45f0 a woman.”8acd59a6e7dab210

“…”c222897cf942da3c

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I froze. My mind raced, and 2da8df77dc fear stabbed through me ad5a38dfee like ice.6d8518f99875e173

‘He’s still a man.’2ed2d5b51f6200ec

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Shame surged first, quickly 5533cbc205 followed by fear. My knees buckled, 3f0a22c403 and I collapsed 81b12b9568 back onto the 377837b54d floor.829b61017f1bf29e

“…”6f7b4521d6841558

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But Nexiard, 18305e676a as if b9580151ce the act ea077a07a4 of grabbing 1d8bd1fcfa me had b47cbb8927 sapped all d7eb489bc6 his strength, 01b9c0886e lay still. His head 9628674a4c lolled to cfb3538dc8 the side, 2ec6702200 and his 3d28e6667e heavy-lidded eyes 420072a041 blinked slowly, bd474c05d7 as if cceedaecdd struggling to 6d73da8339 stay open. His deep 2353531172 voice broke aa85496706 the silence, 46561b837f calm and 871e24de5a steady.97936a36e89b7e5c

“Thank you.”4ce8b604446fc89a

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“…?”c12efc97d98f551d

“For saving me.”939a0e82004cd954

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His breathing began ee5e10a61d to even out, 772ca0dc9a the faintest rhythm 74d2c766a2 of life filling 2d80ce2b3d the room. Trembling, I crawled closer 388eeaa65b and pulled the blanket f77f32736b up to his chin. Then I rested 4b52821d28 my forehead against 01a192b47d the edge of 4ca3c2bf9e the bed.16cebcf2dab300bb

‘He’s so pitiful…’4e922ea5c46ef622

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That thought was immediately 1563809c93 followed by a wave 2c96a6a937 of relief. We’d overcome the 74681f0bd3 worst of it. The tension that had 4a857c04a2 gripped me for days faa88a4268 finally eased, and I 6b550bc945 couldn’t stop the tears 9a1b493d4f from falling.1005f74fd302498c

That night, I 4a3220c49d wept silently.759e3031ba7f194d

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