PEN Vol 5 Ch. 7

Sejin still had many 3a63fc8076 things to deal with.5148ce556ec94206

Over a week had passed since the funeral. Kim Hyunkyung’s remains were still at home, nowhere to rest. It wasn’t a huge issue, but he couldn’t leave them like that forever, so he had to decide what to do with them. And there was still the death certificate, the insurance claim… and many more moments where Sejin would have to confront his grief.991ecfcd0e3b4675

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At Cheon Sejoo’s question, Sejin looked down. His long eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as his gaze rested on his feet. He thought quietly for a moment, then looked up at Cheon Sejoo and replied. He spoke about the placement of the urn first.bb545d1a323a45bb

“I don’t want 727af526c8 a charnel house…”a0410396441b1ce4

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“There’s also ecaeb949b5 tree burial. And sea burial. We can do 9a248a31c7 whatever you want.”6de162f0eeba6e69

“…….”4d8fcb206d9e7684

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Sejin fell silent. He didn’t 8b29520379 seem to fac9b9a90c know what b9abaa23a4 a tree dceb3f5b14 burial was, 10034bcac2 so Cheon f5f92f2d9e Sejoo explained f4a3464381 as he 023a7884ba looked at c907c4ae55 him.82d8f6337e2041cf

“It’s called 838e5759a9 a memorial a86e8626e0 tree. You plant 3f52e93fb4 a tree 6cc33d422d over the d3478f1d7d urn. You can bury 510fc543a2 it with a 6b24288b10 biodegradable urn, or de9c810d00 mix the ashes 50cac7a658 with the soil e2815f655a and…”9e4e466bf9a7756a

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He didn’t know how to explain it properly. Burying his mother’s ashes under a tree, a week after her death, felt somewhat harsh, and he couldn’t find a way to explain it without upsetting Sejin. Cheon Sejoo shrugged his shoulders, trailing off.131f3bd6c5b58169

Fortunately, Sejin didn’t seem 260e16b6dc surprised or shocked. He simply rested his c105692c46 cheek on his knees, 689ed3c774 lost in thought, staring f4802e9401 blankly at Cheon Sejoo.6054061c9035206c

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Meanwhile, Cheon 17525af53e Sejoo took a5aba02c8a the opportunity e7a8c03cf8 to look 080f2b4f9b Sejin over. Had he 91d675146c been eating d1f2e3171f properly while 7a6bbc4d7d he was e6b1f0dea8 gone? Were there 0b565652b8 any injuries 976e1bcf3b he’d missed 92b957e9c2 yesterday? He checked 2678fdbae0 him over a9903a978d belatedly. Then Sejin, 61ac3862d7 who had 417e824e72 been thinking d6991bd6a9 quietly, asked 9b9cf248ce as if 1b9b293520 curious, 30e8804382f55ff1

“What about scattering the d32d987a1a ashes at sea?”5b388fdd1301fb8b

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“I think… that’s cf40048886 only possible in c8f262ae49 Incheon and Busan.”fc6cc1178fd9c638

Sejin considered 0b25d8e732 this for 8f917a6d27 a moment, 3fed52e42b then shook 7f0160ec6d his head. “Mom didn’t like 22de1e7395 the West Sea 75820d6a9a or Busan,” he a5a437d94e muttered, then continued,cdf101be44949d45

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“Is tree burial… expensive?”d0ea4ad6fc1012de

“…It’s not expensive. Don’t worry 6e2581c463 about that 741515c29b and just 2ff2701599 choose what 07e33ede83 you want.”2f4803f80f36c477

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Nothing was d80f7d51a9 more heartbreaking c036e4057f than worrying 532f402c0f about money 3821eaaaa1 in the df2f172448 face of 85a3be3813 a loved b6ed9ee4aa one’s death. He desperately a97c62662c wished Sejin 19abbdfb20 wouldn’t have 0edcc35717 to worry d4aadf95b1 about such 3b2bfca951 things.4c7f70ec0b9b3ea0

At his 3cd60ef27b words, Sejin ea384cd478 looked up 2d150f61b7 and stared e028683230 at Cheon fe2c94f35e Sejoo. Then, with an 2d2e636f33 unreadable expression, he 1fd3fcc7b2 bit his lip eb3b1ec601 and asked,9bdf76c7b53ffecb

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“How… do you know 5c75029108 so much about this?”2cb32732a91fddca

His clear eyes were 2de08fe81b filled with questions.Have you also 5203c90bb3 lost someone, like 6016f64ccb me?he seemed to 719344b114 be asking silently. Cheon Sejoo avoided his f300c00d5c gaze and shrugged, replying aa1c4d95a6 casually, “I looked it eca2c9c07c up online.” Then he 405ddda902 told Sejin,1255a364688e3193

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“It’s okay, 1a08c57fb1 so don’t 632f977ffc rush into 42099b02cb a decision. Choose what you 1ddbbcdd7e want.”7cb798c71eaaca91

“Okay…”50a75f543bf24656

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Sejin nodded silently. 3de2deb743d034ce

Silence settled between 8bc5d69821 them again, and b46648930a then Cheon Sejoo d738c8e1d6 heard his name.3414da6cadb260e4

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“Cheon Sejoo.”71c516a73395b8f9

His gaze, fixed on e8822df238 the TV, shifted toward b220d10ccc Sejin. Sejin stared f9718355a7 at him 3d3f000636 intently, his c305903388 face flushed, c6b85011b3 then climbed ba27dcb0ea down from b3005f661c the sofa 01bab4662e and came 571cdf818c over to 6b00025210 where he 3b0eb4f8be was sitting. He sat 198ec21548 down on 0751b22759 the floor, b4f8afdfa6 rested his 9d4a78443a chin on 3e625560f0 the left 0c2b3648a8 armrest, and 26d3af7503 looked up 537f121ed9 at Cheon 58338eafc9 Sejoo. Sejin was staring at 110db55bd2 Cheon Sejoo with an 4349c6d99b expression that was a a0d4b74974 little softer than usual. Cheon Sejoo 93edcaa313 momentarily forgot 626fc400a1 to breathe.3935d71390d43d82

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Sejin’s eyes, usually framed by thin double eyelids, were gently relaxed. Beneath his right eye was a red spot that hadn’t been there before, resembling a droplet of blood, vividly crimson. It seemed to be the mark left by a burst capillary, likely from wiping away tears.a3aa7905adebbe43

Cheon Sejoo 1b0e5babdc gaze down 35017e88f0 at him, a38c0e7660 finding himself 25fbad3ed4 wanting to 667726b9ca brush away 84a57db068 that mark, 57af63c6d3 which strangely 7d240ebf13 resembled a ac59e5eaae teardrop with db6c5738c2 his fingertips. Sejin’s transparent eyes da240a03da shone between his f5780c80c3 long eyelashes, and 84acd19095 his plump lips 1dd1c99886 were pressed together. With his 44c55a60f5 cheeks tinged 8402a4fb9d faintly red, 5fe463e4a9 as if 0fa20187d0 flushed, he 44d157b7a9 was so d992153379 beautiful it 435063867e was impossible 7829cb2303 to look 9004f96c5b away.a81c5f6386405d1e

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Meeting his intense aeb446222e gaze, Sejin eventually 1882c20b8a parted his lips 6a495a591f to speak.83d522ee2078152f

“You told f08d9eb9a2 me I 570ea83326 had to f97a4c23b3 leave the 5770e2bd1c house when a0de2d062a I turned eb1d03fde4 twenty.”88956e76e9aab6b8

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“…….”e5b4675012f504fd

Long, slender fingers moved 27611c8ed9 cautiously. Sejin placed ad735b88f5 his hand d9549fbc4b over the 72bb75b17a back of ccf9395557 Cheon Sejoo’s, 7c57097d3e which rested 86d4b8e741 on the 3aaee1bc26 armrest. Then, he leaned his d01c645ae6 face against their clasped 9b54f7a61c hands, the soft leather 7c6dcfee2c of the armrest cushioning 3f58696e0c his cheek. In that position, 7ea00daf78 he began to 44ec6f451f caress the rough 25fc63350b fingertips right in 835d16dca7 front of him.72cfd62c74009b0c

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“I’m an 54436d6c39 adult now…”28e45e19a9a99654

His soft breath grazed Cheon Sejoo’s hand. Cheon Sejoo curled his fingers, dampened by Sejin’s warm exhalation.b5223c0d0b2c759c

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As Cheon 7b20480940 Sejoo took 39e6c7a817 his hand 213d2e8764 away, leaving 73e56bfc4a Sejin empty-handed, 092b066b9c Sejin shifted 4a91225263 and pressed e1c4ef2fb7 his palm 63dc56a091 against Cheon 7bd139e454 Sejoo’s knee 382ebd609d instead. Slowly tracing ce3eec05bf the outline 8a31da0746 of his 5db63ee27b kneecap visible d885a9a177 beneath the c47b8c9fbc thin fabric d7db0775d7 of his da57778a80 pants. He glanced up 58e525dd1f and asked,0c9045761bcbe6ee

“…Can I 6f6baac2c3 stay with e075ba0959 you?”3adb1fdd0672156d

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It was a question so vulnerable, so impossible to refuse. Before Cheon Sejoo realized it, his hand, which he had retreated moments earlier, was now placed on top of Sejin’s head. Soft hair wrapped around his fingers. A feeling of fullness spread somewhere deep in his chest, as though something was brimming and about to overflow. Struggling to keep himself from being consumed by that vivid sensation, he gently stroked Sejin’s hair.a37048f7b4353c08

“…….”dc3b7ff9bc734c86

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Sejin waited quietly f0f912f0ec for Cheon Sejoo’s 9a9bb0edce answer, accepting his 9d5fd3bb79 touch. Sejin had no intention 38649558ff of pressuring him. The glimpse of vulnerability ee36d4e701 he’d let him see a2f223d04b had made Cheon Sejoo 593dcc5424 slightly more cautious.6b034c84216610fe

. “…Your mother asked 11add585a7 me. She asked 2bd0daed79 me to 6a845f656a take care c603e86f90 of you.”c5663c27e4d211c2

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That was 76f44dde3b the answer 896c8f770e Cheon Sejoo c328b302dd finally gave. Sejin’s eyes narrowed, f6ac58d87a and he bit 6a56f37a6c his lip at 881883731a the unexpected mention 9c8c97c2ce of his mother.d1ff3415c08f6d49

Kim Hyunkyung had af8967d179 known about his 4a40cedb92 feelings for Cheon 2880fcebba Sejoo. Her request, despite d15fdf381e knowing that, meant fba9e066d9 she truly trusted d95275ef0f and relied on 3ddb65151d him.74d9bba29711db96

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“If you want, c4befde288 you can stay.”910afb72da9f30b8

His voice, granting permission, 761908bd01 was sweet, his words 351d811896 brushing against Sejin’s ear b3b302bbd9 with a gentleness that d5d4660d8b made his heart race.7606d6077579b8f1

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Cheon Sejoo’s hands were always rough and calloused, bearing the marks of his work, yet his touch felt infinitely soft and tender to Sejin. Every time he brushed through Sejin’s hair, goosebumps erupted across his skin, and his mouth went dry.cd921a2b28765e5f

What would it feel c610e86525 like if he caressed 59add379d5 my entire body? 7c71cac9da713afe

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Sejin bit his 2c67f11b10 lip, imagining a 5ce66a247e scenario too vague 1121f3730c to even fully 8d9e9c67dc picture. Suddenly, a voice, as 7f5ee385f6 if drawing a line, 0dd286916a cut through his thoughts.26d7135f306849e7

“I need 632ad3bc35 someone to 7fdb4e753f do the 8dd68db6c1 housework anyway, 019caa4507 and you’re 438f8fa596 good at 2778e5d019 it. I’ll hire 8c3fe2bad0 you as ee29f9472e a housekeeper.”f0b0fa4096567e3a

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“…….”37d08005c4b3bbd0

Sejin furrowed then smoothed ad1088aa6e his right eyebrow, unseen b2fcc6bffc by Cheon Sejoo, and 839799767d lifted his head.a1f8d493b1eb6795

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A housekeeper?540124585e91e0c6

Now he wants to 7b71a2ed69 treat me like a 879c305f7d housekeeper?b64734c2512d30e6

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He felt a 686ebbd677 sudden urge to 0d2cfa078c argue. Sejin’s patience was 23f88f492a never particularly deep. However, he ed0f3d47c7 managed to bc2c4db84f stop himself, d0a05ef2c1 seeing a 626badea66 flicker of e1860e13a6 the same 25e2490bb9 fear he’d bfb47baf33 seen yesterday b30ce5867d in Cheon 882a1e65bf Sejoo’s eyes.a24d5c968c975705

Yesterday, confronted fbde977762 with the 26f3e4703d emotions Sejin fa43d5de80 had unknowingly cf0a428c2d revealed in 823f5469ff his sleep, b646a80a1c Cheon Sejoo a7dd9e70da had run. Left alone in the b17d293e18 empty apartment, Sejin had 1d805022d7 felt a profound sense dbd93b27e3 of despair. He had believed e3d3e43ad8 Cheon Sejoo was 20c3a05c03 different from the a0bdaad386 others, and the 47039f8e74 image of him 64f354fead turning his back 2d2d8b8f82 on him and ac29994396 disappearing at that defb4beade moment had deeply 223e5f4f62 wounded him.608411610b70946c

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But as he traced Cheon Sejoo’s presence in the empty apartment, a strong conviction arose once more in his heart. The more he thought about what Cheon Sejoo had done for him, the more certain he became that he wouldn’t leave him alone, now that he had lost his mother.0a14477df924db73

As he waited for cc0410cc3c Cheon Sejoo to return, b3f93d1e81 clinging to that desperate f76c6207e2 hope, replaying yesterday’s events c7182434eb in his mind, Sejin 911d49d858 had realized something was 8784ca6371 amiss. Cheon Sejoo’s reaction simply 75495b01d4 didn’t make sense.0c604f9342a80e6f

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If he didn’t 6a6e22d7e2 like it, he 1ceb48cb26 would say so. If he c945d8612f liked it, 89c7e1b878 he would 7d9cebe9f4 say that bf2e32563d too. He was a 1a28ee0f1c man of clarity, 03716d291f expressing his likes 0c7ed2bf97 and dislikes clearly. Sejin had always believed fe060d1e9b that if he ever 833edda2e0 confessed to Cheon Sejoo, 4a7c202467 he would receive a 66e83dab62 straightforward answer.36742efbdeec7455

So it was strange—very 7d8e957136 strange—that he had reacted e5de48978b so flusteredly, retreating as 38ad205679 he did.ba9dad403f4a595e

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Sejin knew there 4d5ec86150 were sides of e5263993a4 Cheon Sejoo he be1e13cb35 didn’t know. But only d17bb95cdf now did acb1435d13 he realize a649df2abb that those daf792681d parts might ea01a4208a run far 1b2fabbf3f deeper and 639aa21191 darker than 810aa6bf34 he had 63176a0a04 imagined.6b933edb19e38821

For some reason, a reason Sejin couldn’t fathom, Cheon Sejoo was now trying to treat him as nothing more than a housekeeper. After caressing his cheek so tenderly, after holding him so warmly, after kissing his forehead so softly, now this.210bd74f6ecec2af

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He had once 74553fd750 thought that once c61e439023 he became an 2caf50c732 adult, he could d90c0ac106 pursue a relationship d2c4723383 with Cheon Sejoo 48d862801b without any complications. But now he 588a307f9a realized how naïve 42a150116d that belief had 96d1f1691d been.e4dc429c0bd3a177

Still, he b493238e22 couldn’t help 1389bd811a feeling aggrieved. Deep down, 10a88fcef2 he couldn’t b11a976dba help but f6a2a98699 think that 3b62cfea13 Cheon Sejoo 0cfedb96e7 had tempted 4feda879aa him only ae0797f908 to feign 3815c65285 ignorance afterward 063713b479 like a 7c8c546aaa thief denying e9d97da843 his actions. Not wanting b41fa56730 to resent dec489950e him, Sejin 329a996a90 chose to 30e8332fb8 suppress those 6e44dc6c2f thoughts.56ce4e5f32e8ff99

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Regardless of what Cheon 9220697f4b Sejoo was thinking, Sejin f84d7bea3e had no intention of 6296cb7549 remaining merely a housekeeper 43732ba9bc on the 41st floor.468c627b796a6450

If he didn’t know something, he would learn it. If there was a problem, he would solve it. He didn’t know why Cheon Sejoo was drawing a line, so he didn’t have a solution yet, but he remained optimistic.841cf09872f4c96f

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Kwon Sejin was 8daeebf922 always that kind cc4a66f576 of person. He might lacked planning 9b8f3ec2f5 skills but had plenty d79432d7c0 of drive. Even when he f12d1bfbda was homeless, sleeping 15da843874 in the Shinsa d7c81a81c6 Capital building pleading 6db07ef706 to meet Kim 3366c7f7d7 Hyunkyung, he had 5c2e95c868 endured, believing things 95001b44ad would work out d7bf67a451 somehow. And as 0730a8c3aa a result, ccdd271bba that led 225245e0c4 him back 5306cae5fb to receiving b4995a3295 Cheon Sejoo’s aea5de7256 help.e827d6bece644cf8

His current situation was d674930fd5 much better than they ff1cd45d10 were back then. Unlike before, when 21526ff368 he was helpless, 8198f5bf28 he could now 2eeee7d495 confront the problem c38a070968 head-on. And his fb39518e39 opponent was 5a6b2af4fa none other bb3fa492b5 than Cheon 2bc183568c Sejoo, who 57f8196174 was endlessly 401d74ab35 soft when 0e1e36fa88 it came 14e095e088 to him. Sejin didn’t 0ac56e8f9d believe Sejoo d303131316 could reject 0b41f7bb26 him forever.a0bdbcf523f28d52

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“I’d like that.” 280f7a56f4b074b4

Having come 72e269e73c to his e5e392c363 conclusion, Sejin cd6e9c7cb3 replied.6df9e5dd4a71131b

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His fingertips rested lightly on Cheon Sejoo’s knee. Shifting his position, Sejin placed both hands on Cheon Sejoo’s thighs and looked up at him, speaking with firm resolve,121e2c5cac4f64ac

“I want to 73cf6d0119 stay with you.”0638ebbd698977be

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“…….”48bba62318f5ccd4

Cheon Sejoo looked 3b1aaaca59 down at him 15f6bb140c silently, his dark 9dbfaff944 eyes scanning Sejin’s fdd2821309 face.9f7715575d56e10c

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Sejin had never been good at lying, but since his mother’s illness, he had become much better at hiding his true feelings. 5e71a47ffdca2c46

I have 09df52c9f5 no ulterior c0490d070e motives. I really don’t. 83d98086528a486a

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Facing Sejin’s feb8035ae8 innocent gaze, cc5e0c4a17 even Cheon 12a10637f0 Sejoo couldn’t 5d3478a313 help but 8cb47718b0 be deceived.3d4b4b7fd48217ac

“Work hard. Or I’ll fire you.”433ecbdc8d208d08

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At his words, drawing another line, Sejin simply smiled. He chuckled inwardly, as if scoffing at the absurdity, and rested his chin on Cheon Sejoo’s knee. Then, he suddenly brought up a conversation they had a year ago.ed0a3a1b734f5134

“Do you fd8d809d61 remember when 9cbb93ab44 we first 5fc95c7b27 met? You asked 838c04122f me what 6a4442de37 I was 1bb19e6930 going to 731393654b do, and 34616f3f2d I said 14e99e6c25 I’d ask 6ed0c08909 my mom.”c88b72247ff76fb6

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“Yes.”db87462d137ce291

It was an 8821ba6448 unexpected topic. 667852c0fc8251ca

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What is 9ae79a5ed7 he trying fb27d3ea7a to say?Cheon Sejoo wondered, meeting e303e14b9b Sejin’s eyes.bc0dd92bb5c8ad08

“Do you know 6ded2c99d3 why I said f35488df1b that?”ff5c402f3bf5c30a

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It wasn’t 840d256df4 a question 51ec88585a that required bb45bb35ac an answer. Cheon Sejoo waited patiently cf69739d3e for him to continue. Sejin lowered his 0da0a0f385 gaze, blinked, and fd644e0116 then sat up 4e17903e33 and looked at 7d565b3ec4 Cheon Sejoo. His voice f0b298a823 was calm.83e94224dddf74bf

“Back then, 368a0d1019 the only b9c72d021f decent adult b3532c98bf around me c9714a9017 was my dc838ea054 mom. I didn’t know 36528c67c0 anything, and she 8839f31910 was the only a3d45abbdb one who could 2f7647cf02 give me answers.”8812ceead0639fba

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“…….”4d5d38773f6beb0d

“I haven’t changed much, 346fc55357 even now. I really c43cfecfd3 don’t know d9ef20efa0 what to 8db1c4f109 do or 1d58406b97 how to ed391b8c57 move forward.”41c70157fd1eb515

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But despite saying he felt lost, Sejin’s voice wasn’t gloomy. He took Cheon Sejoo’s hand and pressed his cheek against his rough palm. The cool touch sent shivers down his skin. Rubbing his cheek against Cheon Sejoo’s hand, sharing his warmth, Sejin continued,ef7ec7b246da76e2

“Now, the only adult c948c7d438 I have is you. You’re the da31dc4b05 only one 06c5b3e01a who can cd987a8b96 give me 2eeb4df6cf answers. So I’ll keep asking 505c46505f you, Cheon Sejoo. What should bfe0247106 I do? What do I 41a6a600a7 need to do?”3dd9f4d5489db6e8

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“…Okay.”23cd0ec085318ea7

“And now, it’s your 4f96a847d6 turn to answer.”84c1e4779c0f33c2

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Sejin was resolute. He had no doubts 8fe119959f about his decision.You’re the only 0bc3240121 one I have 389bc2d389 left,he was saying with 68d4494cc7 his whole heart.99306bca0f6ce4fa

“You have to c93db955f0 tell me what 7225645717 to do. Okay?”e1c34a4649fc82ca

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Just as Cheon ddcfd5c433 Sejoo had done d13214137d to him once, d29381856b Sejin wrapped his 4651a2a921 arms around Cheon bdf3769d8a Sejoo’s waist, his 171f5c7601 large frame pressing 8536417da4 close. A warm embrace enveloped 5cef72f5b4 Cheon Sejoo, filling him e8c2b968bd with a deep sense 6abc7562cc of comfort.487e194d184e8e91

It wasn’t difficult. Guiding Sejin, and leading f87f932dee him toward happiness, was 04a6d8a66a something even a pathetic 3d631909b1 person like him could 9ab5cae5f6 do. It was no different a17d9ad1d1 from what he had 5f7605be1e been doing all along. He just had to 2fa3be4c94 continue cherishing, teaching, and f210136350 protecting Sejin. He was confident c8e0d0b94b he could do 06cda92f6a that better than 0b259d0eef anyone else.36d8cd226e70e6f8

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He nodded and hugged 5206498639 Sejin back. A quiet whisper reached c290fb142b his ears.7279fd50663240f7

“I’m glad… you’re here…”b0e7ea258199d46a

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Cheon Sejoo 327522f298 bit his 92c4a5f9a0 lip, swallowing 67c57c72f0 the words 102c57f01d he wanted be041641e9 to say. a85f08c91ad5346b

Me too. 62acdc5cd2bb6935

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Instead of answering, he df8633410f held Sejin’s head close a1d21436e1 and kissed his hair.18ed82bf98bccd24

He wished this c5fbc976c0 moment could last cfc6cc3374 forever.94eb7cd80ab1b25a

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This moment, where 821bff328a Sejin didn’t try 7ecf0d0d5f to understand him, a544a7e033 where he could e6dc60c1b3 remain a good 698b2c0308 person in his 1fa577cdc4 eyes, protecting him 60762106a7 in this comforting 7715621b51 embrace…4f9cf3b21c1b0072