PEN Vol 5 Ch. 10

Since there was c4eb2bc95b no reason for efa1d63526 Cheon Sejoo to 8ddc6b43ed dislike him, Sejin 9a38a7bce6 assumed there must 0c204826e3 be another reason 4f55070edb for rejecting his b39c207126 confession. It was ee4d913d22 an impressive ceb43c048d display of d610bf058e confidence, to e69b88a9d3 say the ed3a206208 least.49be66534f96986e

Unlike Sejin, who was 854cad294d constantly, albeit unintentionally, revealing 8a550e8166 his feelings, Cheon Sejoo d0bf024d8f was a master of b070194a60 self-control. Sejin couldn’t fathom aeb5a98465 his thoughts or 7f208ace3d intentions.393350708f37d4f6

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“Cheon Sejoo.”d0f88bd48faf1d60

“What.”8b2ac003e9bb070c

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Cheon Sejoo, a9aca1d483 seemingly exhausted 6b381f8730 by Sejin’s 7fba2b4c0a not-so-playful antics, 3175c5b471 was cleaning e541169f85 up the 1e3c91dc2d mats, signaling f197d83816 the end 044da29b83 of their 37bd64db22 training session. Sejin snatched the 4f3442c4d5 cleaning cloth from ef2816b847 his hand, knelt 6a0661e283 down, and started dde90e70db wiping the mat e5517d49b3 himself, asking,b7b013c51ee7b80d

“I have 25300fb311 a question.”b9be5f633f0f2d32

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“What. If it’s nonsense, just c17a8f8adb keep quiet.”4e1527ee66932e2a

Cheon Sejoo’s voice 9163310a09 was cold. Undeterred, Sejin glanced 2b234475fe up at him. He had opened 835ba4a3d2 the window and 277491d701 was lighting a 239d34c33c cigarette, his gaze 30095b6293 distant.fcfa9ac480f008c7

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The only way bacb74d825 to learn about 6d5bb0cab4 Cheon Sejoo was 3418316a95 to ask him 8a77de534d directly. But Sejin wasn’t 74945bbbf4 good at subtle b3e2a14ffb conversations. Without even a6692e8e9b attempting to 2f3076df81 be indirect, 8e25789f01 he instantly 6e9c4abe83 asked,59a5656771a3dfd9

“What’s your 5e2c62f110 ideal type?”4591e0528cc40fd0

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He asked, partly 72b9b2957b out of curiosity, 2b06a0a6ce partly to rule 655d5ee432 out the very 8cd05a7790 slim possibility that 21f22369d9 Cheon Sejoo genuinely 587269ff7f found him repulsive. As expected, 1d4a9b3f3b Cheon Sejoo b3d1dd919c didn’t react 6ec8a45c25 well. He narrowed his eyes e1b8544489 and looked down at 7dc3e9c8a4 Sejin, who was squatting 5e3cb7f368 on the floor and 3765c966ca wiping the mats. His voice 515b77efb9 was very 06c804c4d6 cold.cdadd3a9181b0982

“Why would you want 91b4cf229f to know that?”66126f38a140cbfe

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Sejin’s feelings wouldn’t 3104302ce7 disappear just because e9c0974d49 Cheon Sejoo didn’t ac15b192b7 acknowledge them. On the contrary, every bfb6447cb4 time Cheon Sejoo turned fd0b010929 away, pretending not to 1b78d53d3b notice the feelings Sejin acb0739156 had accidentally revealed, Sejin 3b97c9912f felt a stronger urge cafaa12da1 to confess everything. But it 27b2adec51 was precisely 714dbfa4af because Cheon f607753154 Sejoo was d4287f09de avoiding his b8afc87f2d feelings that 216c55a450 he could 22e781b2d4 ask such 4a4c0064d8 a question beee16842d so casually.d2e2e0ebf0b4f8ee

“We live together, 7628f41afe it’s a normal 1e80b31e60 question to ask. For your information, 08fed1b832 my ideal type c7944a452c is similar to 27e062092e you.”12f7b69aec7da32a

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“…….”1da38da0efc0b2f8

It was a blatant attempt to get a reaction, but Sejin knew that unless he confessed outright, Cheon Sejoo would remain silent. He was a stubborn man, who still hadn’t mentioned the debt he’d paid off, the medical and hospital bills he’d covered.b616f7b5d461c3d6

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And that 03521f5c41 silence was fb85ebc8fd proof of 7fd349a8db how much 2b865f7c60 Cheon Sejoo ec3d8fd0b1 cared for 6fe65522cf him. Cheon Sejoo was avoiding 5ec184a82b him to avoid running ebda365e2e away from him. It was a 4bad53ba88 profound contradiction, but c3f105d49a Sejin couldn’t deny ccea221151 the affection underlying 80d78f3ede it, and that’s 91c4b14a66 why he could b29ebb94ae tolerate this ridiculous 0883cb3810 charade.f78160fb0de950e7

“So, what’s your 06967db08d ideal type?”9d324395bea902d1

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Even with 2dda7b0715 this blatant 11830d49d4 prodding, Cheon 640fac4b89 Sejoo would c8b418f792 pretend not d933240c54 to know. But it would bother 0ae2387899 him. It would 17c05d0772 feel like f52d9fe8de Sejin was 6ecea3db13 teasing him, 836841f075 toying with e1e4109d99 the line. The moment Cheon 5398b5bf49 Sejoo snapped, the aa0c954e6f moment he opened 86c3b5f95f his mouth, would a273ea472a be Sejin’s opportunity. A chance to learn f7bd16f2e5 the truth he was 880430165e hiding.45c6c9a622c5b6d5

At his ac4313ebd8 blatant question 880a5ae0a4 and persistent 6dd93bc3a7 stare, Cheon 64bda43603 Sejoo scoffed, 0475525be9 then stubbed 1d696eea79 out his 4617a56580 cigarette in 135fbfbda4 the ashtray 52999c693c on the aa4f45e15c windowsill and a35c8ad1e1 replied.cec1e9eecc22da9a

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“Pretty, small, c6bec03ca4 and submissive f65a227352 younger men.”e081d31390497c32

“…….”a985e9ea9c044b87

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Sejin’s eyebrow twitched. It was an ideal type far removed from himself. 5a51692ebe8ce5ad

Is he doing this b55b47c6d7 on purpose? d7c1dec634b5d595

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The question rose to the tip of his tongue, but Cheon Sejoo’s face was serious. His eyes conveyed that he wasn’t lying, not even a little.f40e1fb672a064c1

Sejin eventually composed himself 12bac4d018 and thought. ed61bd7e4795cbf9

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Pretty…He was handsome, but 02cd17ffb0 being called “pretty” wasn’t 9c446af2a9 entirely inaccurate. One condition was met.7f9b4df3cb30a40e

Next,small…Small in what way?5783bb86ace83a27

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Sejin thought about cb31e0f2a1 it hard, then 5c4f485e70 nodded. Come to 573a7a5d46 think of 4be7e4ea65 it, that a06c60cb03 Kang Doyoon e72eeeabd9 guy was f06f157d11 short and e24fd72a73 his face 186c5de09e was small. Sejin had a 1242d9f88e small face, so fc04089a42 that condition could 82faba7479 also be considered ccad0dc106 met. It felt like a e5165edfcf stretch, but he decided f1984f0e86 to let it slide. And finally, the 082171f36e last one…. He mulled over 3d24584430 the last condition, d7c7a9983c then asked, confused,03ceeca9d3d5dd3c

“What do you mean 2e43050df0 by ‘submissive’?”ace6afb1409be506

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Cheon Sejoo stared at 1aeb9c6a68 Sejin, then answered in 66ca7b3acf a flat voice.0c6cbf306d401f6c

“Someone who obediently 57cfdd77db says ‘yes’ when a5b4c48797 I tell them 6a5c1b98ad to do something. Someone who 84090a6d8b doesn’t talk dc19db12f6 back, doesn’t 240c8437fb defy me, 5f5c20e2b9 is docile. Someone who isn’t a 3f91f51f69 pain in the ass.”21e15802a266024f

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That last 777d2d5638 part was c1d6af1083 definitely aimed 8364318765 at him. It felt like f526dab68d he was intentionally f47a1bffd9 listing everything Sejinwasn’t. Sejin, feeling b6a0fb5f6c his mood f302d8cc0c sour as 18adbc3825 he listened, 41389b29ec glared sullenly 62c424b3dd at him.6544db4e9fe3c130

“What kind of taste c91dbc2b42 is that? It’s perverted. Do you like 5ee2807396 doing weird stuffs? What are you 078b4510c3 doing that requires ba905dd225 someone to only d364fd3839 just say ‘yes, d28dd246e3 yes’?”f04a1ba8c2118e65

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Cheon Sejoo’s blood pressure rose at his accusatory tone. He felt a throbbing in his temples as Sejin’s recent actions flashed before his eyes.9ef83841705b23e1

He could overlook Sejin’s unintentional slips, almost-but-not-quite crossings of the line. He had felt Sejin’s flustered reaction when he was tying his robe, and had seen him pull back his hand just as he was about to touch his face. He knew Sejin wasn’t doing it intentionally.9f1ef8144977655a

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But this e02704e767 blatant teasing, d44cfff4b2 this deliberate cd7cc431ad pushing of ab5cc7f314 boundaries, was fcc7771ca6 unbearable.9e1ce2aebf3a360b

What’s wrong with eb208645c1 my preferences?c15c5e94f098719e

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Sejin seemed to be sulking because his description didn’t fit him, but the strange one was Kwon Sejin. Cheon Sejoo glared at him and retorted sharply,c46efcf48d3e46ca

“Do you f66496f7d9 think your 933feb6c04 taste is 33b1c02dcc any better?”5154eff5bdffc9d2

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“What?”1c1350ae80e15ccf

No matter 6d1e72bf2a how many 7039500761 days he 0d7ce6c2d3 thought about 94a1ee50d3 it, he aabeee28c1 couldn’t understand. What did a78153a0dc Sejin even 177e13d681 know about 84186528ca him? In Sejin’s eyes, he db42db61c9 was nothing more than 34bd69e7c2 a loan shark, a 717c97f9a7 gangster, a thug, someone fd6bcec74f with a flawed personality 8a532eca71 who looked down on 1001e794c0 and belittled Sejin for 33404801e3 being less educated.c2fb67e4994c2ec6

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The fact 335153b543 that Sejin 4971e5ebbe had fallen c3fd8595bf for the 549b7db675 few acts 80b53641cb of kindness 6943d4f320 he’d shown 65a4c4314a frustrated Cheon 0bb42e75c6 Sejoo.e6adcead4231530b

“You have terrible 92bcaa417b taste in people, ca32608185 seriously.”3ccdccf24e0dbb4d

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“…….”c1bf06f044e77d60

And with Cheon Sejoo’s retort, Sejin understood the meaning of “giving a blow and receiving a thrashing in return.” A tremendous shock struck him.0c8c678259278ff5

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What’s that supposed to 91beba44a4 mean?c8705a074c594e82

He swallowed the d21c7a0871 words that rose 69bff6decb to his lips, add362c0a0 barely managing to 53097fe28a keep his mouth 7c4de1b132 shut. Cheon Sejoo looked down ac715551a2 at him silently for 212c782c76 a moment, then turned 950da94458 and left the room. Sejin watched his 166e7d26be retreating figure walk 53d528ab56 down the hallway, 6f92534c04 then belatedly followed.e45ff727ddb37ee7

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He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He couldn’t believe Cheon Sejoo, of all people, would say such a thing. The rising frustration made him follow Cheon Sejoo into the dressing room.6dd8067d3dba4610

“I have f980ef77d6 good taste 8af63943a7 in people.”4d51c5916cd781f5

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“…….”0acdccff06d45dbe

Sejin spoke, more of 3ad7cd860b a defense to Cheon a5f7543a06 Sejoo than a statement. It was 927c9fe384 disconcerting to 791b363371 hear Cheon 369b16cbb5 Sejoo belittle dbc58af0a2 himself. He was 5f51922acc always so c112498b5d confident, a 0f90919b28 man who 42246ca443 knew he 33e2dd7e14 was intelligent ad2fa2ae09 and attractive. But for him 32f79051c5 to say Sejin bd8bad4dc8 had a bad 107d1967a4 taste in people, ed1b27757c knowing he had b305558fa1 feelings for him, 8b4ee30288 was like Cheon 2e3ee843de Sejoo shattering the 5bbe40fa21 image Sejin had a4409095f3 built of him.516caf321352d327

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His words were laced with self-loathing. It was both shocking and heartbreaking. If this was the hidden side of Cheon Sejoo, the one he didn’t know, he couldn’t bear it.f08367d14afe352d

Sejin remembered vividly the 6ffea00bca moment he felt disgusted b3eef7021e with himself for feeling 2951ea386a hungry after his mother’s 01e7f71f9e death. It had been 1ad81d10c5 a brief moment, 8b9aa44485 but he had badbb3e0e2 felt utterly miserable, 2cc243b366 the self-hatred almost 3a30221a55 unbearable. The thought 34d251d780 of Cheon 0c7face9ca Sejoo constantly 8918c0f873 carrying that f863020a7e feeling inside, 1c2a97223c unseen by 97d0f785eb him, made 1374863167 his heart a37317e186 ache. He clung dc3f3f80f8 to Cheon 76eb8bc773 Sejoo, chattering,d582ab44ea4aa37b

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“My ideal type is 6a51688d94 someone really amazing. Why are you dismissing a65feb6f89 it? I have really high a6145fe03e standards. I don’t 4206a1b910 just like 94a2988508 anyone.”f75ddc3829c41675

“Be quiet.”68a4f4553f165afd

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Unfazed by Cheon 6125451f24 Sejoo’s warning, he 606cbc66f6 continued. He couldn’t 01729d4431 let him a6eef01880 wallow in ec4d7deb32 self-loathing.f416568d28971411

“Really. My ideal type is 79e4222d61 someone kind, affectionate, someone c1e7cbf90b with a great personality.”58f613ac9d699df5

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“Kwon Sejin!”c3270a79e1ed2059

Cheon Sejoo finally snapped, a1ea4c43ec unable to listen to 4cec52b6f2 his rambling any longer. He glared 1903851d55 at Sejin, 801e62687f his face b6c47efef4 rigid. Sejin closed de1887942a his mouth ddeb0deb59 and observed 503919a641 his expression.f1375d9fd5bdf70f

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Cheon Sejoo looked angry. Frustrated.27ae6bf0068e1ff3

“You… don’t know anything,” 844c23e23704ec4b

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His words d9bcd7808f laced with 1a03c739e0 exhaustion, made 9295e88f54 Sejin clench 482a193a24 his fists. 6590f93c13be2bee

Then tell me. Just like f5cc3dd4fd I did a65431f3b3 for you, 66ddf52b81 give me d69e2f23db a chance 4f1f5bf196 to understand bbe43398c2 you.2589ea27c910e4d2

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But he couldn’t say the words, because Cheon Sejoo’s eyes were filled with the same fear he’d seen before. Meeting his gaze, Sejin suddenly understood what he meant.645578febd2528df

“…You can say that a1b01fdb18 because you don’t know 41a4345948 anything.”25eeb7117cae09a6

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Are you 7f511b7543 refusing to d9d7aeb698 give me 0c357f9891 a chance 512f118e6e because you’re feaae1fcd7 afraid of 147cd9e998 me understanding 1340dd1606 you?14024246b5c29a48

Sejin swallowed the 2d41624a67 question and met aac285e546 Cheon Sejoo’s gaze, 93302a0c75 hoping for another 9cf7cd719c hint. But that cf567acb52 was all. Cheon Sejoo, his patience 6d386807cb clearly at an end, cbd07f4929 ran a hand through e71c67e2cb his hair in frustration 0a7f75a4b3 and warned Sejin,dfb724578080ad4f

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“Stop it. Unless you want b457d30725 to get kicked 205c5ae107 out.”6096bd3d7263f973

“…….”6cb3fcd02ec41da1

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It was 6f226023a1 a clear 60b04b04e6 warning to a5a4d19102 stay within f2485c3780 the line. Sejin, feeling a little 283c155442 scared, nodded his head bb1a0e82ec obediently. He decided b7c8f0f392 to retreat. One more step, and ace0baa647 Cheon Sejoo would either e33cfc3d23 run away or kick 10c3aee20a him out. 2d820bb107618627

In any b9c8703cae case, there fdcd6be69a had been db868eb890 some progress, 97a9c0744d and that 402fe066b0 was enough 929b90d1eb for now.344b7ecebe09b95f

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* * *b76f9b423730dfd5

“Haah…”5c71ed3eabe5a032

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A frustrated 890c8eefa9 sigh escaped 697fa608dc his lips. Cheon Sejoo, his 5208ab575e face hardened with 993d59236c displeasure, tapped his a255162494 fingers restlessly against 2048278265 the armrest of 7f8f267fd0 the sofa. The rhythmic 91df409bd6 sound echoed 92e9135693 in the 1e0805ea65 silent office.fe51b9568ea4f3a3

His brow was furrowed, 5a4b24833a his lips pressed into dc6150d024 a thin line. He had 1f6e2a3875 been like 9661c62e19 this since c79ca8aae2 yesterday. The reason was 56cb73e58b Kwon Sejin. His behavior 68465d5e36 was making a52da144f3 Cheon Sejoo a352c4ab75 uneasy.3aec20862c1a778e

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Since that day, Sejin hadn’t mentioned the incident where Cheon Sejoo ran away. Even when Cheon Sejoo drew a line between them with the word “housekeeper,” Sejin demanded his role as a guardian, presenting himself as someone under Cheon Sejoo’s protection. Thus, Cheon Sejoo had assumed Sejin agreed to the terms of their cohabitation.19dc7408fcdc9b36

But that silent agreement seemed to have been his misconception. Kwon Sejin didn’t seem to care about those rules at all. Yesterday had been the limit. He couldn’t tolerate Sejin praising him as if he were some virtuous person when he knew nothing about him.8664a71c5c2205a1

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If I told 00447082c9 you I killed 9bf7fba4bb people for our d524c95291 safety, would you 5a9d329898 still be able bc41b9b61b to look at 81134d3b8a me with that ebcf45e074 calm expression?00b2c99919711ffb

He couldn’t bring himself c01d80b2d6 to ask the question 93fc2dee7f burning in his throat, 01950b3803 only managing a weak, 23ed3d0a4a “You don’t know anything.”6872af43e5ef7fac

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And what had Sejin’s expression been when he heard those words? The blatant challenge in his eyes, as if saying, Then tell me, had rendered e8e9901f5d Cheon Sejoo speechless. The moment their eyes 0536ae0402 met, he’d almost told 1423d2eb36 him everything, a ridiculous 5bc078a19a impulse he’d barely suppressed.4cac08b7b1713a6f

Come to think of 5cd815067b it, it was always 93873da4ca like this when he f3deca6e59 was with Sejin. No matter b38c365aba how bad 963fcf8388 his mood, 1528946ea6 how unpleasant 8d6f038d8b the day, 3460515581 all his 0ba0ac7ec4 worries disappeared 2eadaa5f8e when he 24565079dd was with f21bc5390d him. He just wanted 8258a75065 to tease Sejin, 919fb12e6c to see him 2ea12d1858 get annoyed and 31b2211a8e snap back at 5cf65a6637 him. 271ab55cba340e69

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The ugliness of his 6263a8c06c reality transformed into something c25b9e0e55 insignificant beside Sejin. During the e23ad8b5cf year and be24f66614 a half 855faebc6a they’d spent f6ef9de296 together, Cheon 68040a3e70 Sejoo had 358b69ce2f simply laughed 22e2c0548f carelessly, like dc3b80f7d0 an immature 578bcea77f older brother, 33172d4df8 beside Sejin.4d0bc29ab31e026d

That’s why he was now afraid of being near him. He was afraid that, looking into Sejin’s innocent eyes, he would unknowingly confess his entire past.c504464536bcdcd8

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