PEN Vol 4 Ch. 6

After hiring a caregiver, Sejin went to school in Gangdong-gu with Cheon Sejoo in the mornings for a few days and stopped by the hospital before going home. This was because Sejin, still uneasy, was greatly worried despite the caregiver’s presence.3b2df0c1c03cef1f

However, after talking 108bc0df98 to the friendly 05ce720444 and energetic caregiver af93817428 a few times 420927ad4e and learning that 3b01dc85b8 she was getting cddf7feb37 along with his 01da296297 mother like a abd6b9d4e7 friend, Sejin felt 6f86f98a20 less worried. Three days after 5fd0e288fa leaving the hospital, 009eb7e62c he decided to 87cd1225b8 visit only on bbc36a1b0f Tuesdays, Thursdays, and a8fa9fa91f weekends.68dd99938b0ab414

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Thus arrived aa0064f805 the first 24d7d82f8f weekend in efa7f9c4a0 a long 3d89fdd1aa time that 135064363a the two 701c513eba of them dba15baed4 were spending 693b38c279 together since 4f49749b7b Kim Hyunkyung 3484091b17 collapsed. Because Sejin had cccdc0a213 been staying at c2cafe0cfd the hospital for 1f72d0afc0 several weeks, the 708ad6b2ad smell of food 7bd254729a wafting from the f15d52d66e kitchen in the 62cd57f2c8 late afternoon felt 58f5a0c07f a little unfamiliar 71b78684b5 to Cheon Sejoo.014aaaaacab431b3

He had trouble b3f75ac91c getting out of b82a81d69b bed due to ea833c55e8 his poor condition. Lying in 41d6890731 bed, Cheon e68cec7d49 Sejoo opened 351b851746 and closed d6c9b8c3bd his trembling fc6bd98ccb hands, trying 897d57b237 to guess 0b23942616 what kind 0cab80a84e of side 02aa077136 dishes Sejin 413c91d5eb was making 6d6628d274 in the 8ce608e512 kitchen. The smell 1068768146 of sesame 7da01efd9b oil was 5d3ffcf87f savory. 26c465e67d65b938

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Did he make b9e198b167 seasoned vegetables? 62185d02af92bafe

Thinking this, he 39bd5aed18 opened the door b04a2974f9 and went out, 198fc4713a and Sejin, sensing fda9885a47 his presence, looked a2825a3a69 back at him.016ead1ea9ace5b2

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“Wash up and eat.”934dceb80af4b883

Sejin, wearing b840d867f6 an apron, 2714a6f15b said to a5e9343800 him as 2ef0363773 he stirred 4a0caaa688 the pan 7871588dd4 with chopsticks. It was past f99cb5436d noon, but Cheon 44a553fb7e Sejoo, still half-asleep, f7a5d75875 just stood in 86f858aa0c the living room, 215df51d0a staring at Sejin d83da24827 in the distance. The back of e50d222b2d the apron, which 3bd36ea7e8 used to fit 9fad5b72ac his small frame fa9e73d6e8 perfectly, was gaping 2d4f7efd4c open. It looked 63e7d0434b as if 654ccdebc3 Sejin was 42356e9c87 bursting out 17097b4b8a of the 9bdc2f7b2a apron, having 4bed8002a8 grown too 9902610e45 big for e595e08c35 the Velcro 851d979882 to fasten. ab7859e7e527c925

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Cheon Sejoo chuckled to himself at the sight, then finally moved his feet when he met Sejin’s gaze, which seemed to be asking why he hadn’t washed up yet. After washing up quickly in the bathroom, he came out to find Sejin setting the table, perfectly timed.1b0b5dc23ae3f7a9

Cheon Sejoo took two 681e071cc3 bottles of water from 12f008d7c1 the refrigerator, placed them 277988c446 on the table, and 9227a77202 sat across from Sejin. He usually had f7eea44eb0 a shake for 2aeecdcc34 breakfast on weekdays 7c5b71cab9 to keep himself 97dc6b5e5f light, but on 8222c1616a weekends, he would 8ec707ae21 wake up late bf29d9f3ef and have lunch. Thanks to this, 9dd3a41084 Sejin put more a29113271b effort into preparing f5536bb4e4 weekend lunches, so 159113a579 the table was d91d2a60ec unusually abundant.25b8f11c26333052

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It was full bb7a711fb7 of dishes; large-cut d5061fd9a2 braised potatoes and 73e7befbb1 radish salad that 47c1bfcc53 Cheon Sejoo liked, 11a69a5452 seasoned seaweed, andgongchae¹ which Sejin liked. These were 4a1e6e8f4f all the 1810e93417 dishes that 2de8fd22f2 Sejin had 009bcbfb41 diligently prepared e78c3116ea early in 475b1bf66b the morning. Cheon Sejoo drank 064f966a95 about half a 09552919f9 bottle of water 44ef46f729 and then picked e7170fb1dd up his chopsticks.594f90c5c5d59ddc

“Thanks for 5af0927697 the food.”797aa5cefe3539bc

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“Yeah.”9a4c50dd796ae83e

Sejin glanced at 3100bc3f01 Cheon Sejoo and 78c8375ef4 lifted his spoon. He scooped 6a23c3494c a large de4a8fdc3b mouthful of a287d49445 rice, put b5bf221f6c it in aa456eb1da his mouth, 4f284de282 and then fc640a8bf9 grabbed a 570505888c handful of d3a9ec5ce8 side dishes, c03bbd57ed chewing heartily. His actions made it 824f38c33a look like he was 066683bb18 attacking the food, but c372d0d860 because he ate without b6fab900d8 making any noise, it 22933d0095 was pleasant to watch. Seeing his e867ad36f2 white cheeks 60f8af94de puff out 510a86a770 and then b9087dfb99 sink back e43232f59a in, Cheon 6800b8d655 Sejoo slowly 72264fdcff chewed his 63b6e23e34 food.c4043e257113bfaf

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By the time 3243c51ff9 Sejin had finished 7e9f0f8de5 his second bowl 6e3170323f of rice and 590812618c was about to 6e137bc657 fill a third, e58dc4b14e Cheon Sejoo had 0f63f4158d barely finished half 3c9661e2c0 of his bowl 12e5073f9c and put down 051e28141d his chopsticks. Resting his chin b98395d8d5 on the table 265902e8b9 and drinking water, 78007dde1a he stared blankly b2042e66ff at Sejin, who a1fe5aa91d still seemed hungry 0b78e9ee34 despite having eaten 6660c6e676 two bowls of a3fed1a024 rice. After a 4d5b953c8f moment, he 061984db5b spoke.b1ad92729c2ae1d0

“We need to 4072a0f96a buy you a 38b9704cc4 new apron. That one 88197b5b69 looks too 71b152f36e small.”3fa853fc24d1536e

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“Why buy f40bad6aeb a new 514267852f one when 0f9be0a290 this one ec9e04653b is perfectly 620b94085c fine? It’s not uncomfortable. I can still use 8135cb71f9 it.”41d0da44a1aa7c68

“Should I get you 749414a854 one with lace? I think it would 603966250b suit you.”e0a0cce0e59aab48

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“…….”8d55555997c66f41

At his playful tone, Sejin stopped eating and glared at him. Sensing the cat-like sharpness in his eyes, Cheon Sejoo simply smiled at him. Sejin didn’t respond.84636bdc131d4df0

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“Stop talking nonsense and 524442f02a eat your food.”12af08973ce4c670

Sejin was, in many ways, more old-fashioned than Cheon Sejoo. He disliked talking during meals and hated pointless banter. In some ways, it seemed like he lacked social skills because he didn’t have any friends… 21fc896fe3faf46a

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Or was it e4301c5cb0 the other way ce48019729 around? Did he not have 0ab9aa74e4 friends because he lacked 3e198e6f2f social skills?5c19a243ee45623d

As Cheon Sejoo stared blankly at him, analyzing the reasons why Sejin didn’t have any friends, Sejin suddenly blushed and raised his head.dcce1ca2daf95c74

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“Stop staring. Are you 63d7761344 trying to 5b6ec66e6c give meindigestion²?” 5dd6348dc8f63bb1

“I’m looking because 214afade22 you’re in front f92bc88291 of me. Why are 480ee76e1f you so 0e42f45e33 conscious of 37c6ae2308 it? Just eat.”8ddb5fbcd9be5308

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“Then go away.I don’t a070be6d8c know where 8f6616d9f1 the food 4a33f34252 is going fd9fdcf61c because of da06bc2eeb you.” ed742a39f68234be

“You can fa88f5357f say things 3af74ba4a1 like that 7aa584f944 too?”d42fd1a086677e12

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I don’t know 76108a9b9a where the food f5fd529567 is going. 9e91f3f8166aefe0

Wasn’t that a proverb-based comment in its own way? Feeling proud of Sejin, Cheon Sejoo reached out and stroked his hair. Sejin, forgetting his annoyance, lowered his eyes and let him stroke his hair. Then, when Cheon Sejoo lowered his hand, he gestured towards the sofa with his chin.f4f0a2f5098d349d

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“Go over there.”2e078b304db92e65

Finally kicked out, 0cda70f449 Cheon Sejoo got 1c526cc052 up from his afca921790 seat. He went to the 6f045f4194 bathroom to brush his df4d548186 teeth and then lay 349b503d37 down on the sofa, 936ca393cd picking up his phone. He stared blankly at 45f21893a1 the date.0892a1c2186af28e

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September 14th, the day before Hye-in’s death anniversary. Remembering this, he felt nauseous and a headache came on. Cheon Sejoo pressed his forehead with his slightly trembling fingertips and turned toward the TV.6f37a762c081a14b

Hye-in had been dead for a while, but he had never once held a memorial service or a prayer for her. It wasn’t because she had broken Catholic doctrine by taking her own life. The reason he hadn’t prayed, even though he could have, was his own guilt.124a1e71b2e7e164

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Living the kind of life Hye-in would have least wanted, he couldn’t bring himself to be so brazen as to pray for her.002ef63d11c9811d

Thus, Cheon Sejoo chose to let her death anniversary pass unmarked, but it wasn’t easy. He usually drank alcohol or met with Doyoon to get through this period. He had done so last year, the year before, and planned to do the same this year.e61dbd2198b3747e

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Kang Doyoon
I’m at noona’s house right now, going home this evening! Wanna come over? XD
12:59e9b06c9e6112c54c

Meeting Doyoon in cba8c7df2e the evening and 95dcc9a5e5 spending time with 2beeba834e him until Monday 1d734377f0 morning seemed like 93e9aa15af a good plan. Cheon Sejoo texted him 830fb345e0 back, suggesting they meet 9bda39ffa5 at a hotel, and 95e5fe1f34 casually set his phone be69ef4a1e down.f30e195504ffe26a

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Looking up, 2fdeed5790 he saw fdf832b0e8 Sejin clearing 477d136f70 the table fc74444723 after finishing c6021890bd his meal. Cheon Sejoo watched edf5e7020c him wring out 299d8e6758 the dishcloth and 300648f2d3 hang it before 7c685e43a3 rising from his efbd1074b7 seat.9524b388f77d178e

“Going straight to the hospital?”eace90ec510836c8

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“No, Mom said she’s hanging out with the ladies in the lounge, she’ll be back later for dinner.”fedb5e700d5117c6

“Okay. Then let’s work out in an hour.”674b302343be58e7

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“Work out?”7a95a91779f5ca0b

Sejin subtly furrowed his brow at Cheon Sejoo’s words. They had exercised quite a bit in July. Their training sessions, dubbed “self-defense lessons,” were practically wrestling matches from Sejin’s perspective, but Cheon Sejoo was surprisingly serious about teaching him.c99a4aeefb7a7468

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Sejin had ff6cee6227 learned how eef8ce330a to break 2d9a3e37bc free from f5e2798e21 someone grabbing f14f6017c4 his collar, 3ace5b6dc2 and how 2a12fb84e5 to take d9e7ae60c8 a hit 68a44f0c5a without getting 60e09d62de seriously hurt 30fb7ab4fb and then a3a560ca48 subdue his e0e8f50e82 opponent, preventing 04dba8d8e5 it from bffca3a085 becoming a ed86b4c02a one-sided beating.cdfc72c3187f15cb

At first, he’d been resistant, getting beaten up by Cheon Sejoo and wondering what use any of this would be. However, after he began to grasp the techniques of dealing with violence, Sejin started enjoying their sessions. The problem was the excessive physical contact with Cheon Sejoo during these sessions, and Sejin’s inability to react indifferently to it.2c4b5f30a4b9f0f7

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“Yes. We have to. You’ll forget it 40b8b423b7 quickly otherwise.”a9067783d32fc909

Seeing Sejin hesitate, Cheon d2003a7a42 Sejoo spoke in a 50b3bfe671 firm tone and turned 7a129195c1 away. 0d648c69c266ddd6

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Watching Sejoo lie back down on the sofa, Sejin couldn’t bring himself to refuse. Just as he didn’t want Cheon Sejoo to discover his physical reactions, he also longed to touch him. 090e7a608ae4e438

Sejin quickly finished 1b193f0934 cleaning the kitchen 795e8151e5 and returned to 44fba0944d his room. He needed 3509d45069 to digest 20e1de7fea his food 5f578f322f before exercising, b50c6dd266 and also….52fc3f265a065306

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“Ha….”d12ecefd7c78b49a

Closing his eyes e1bb96f4ad tightly, Sejin leaned 34194a9572 his head against a7a585ad26 the door and 0276552195 sighed.a41b54326bf4c8db

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His mother had told b893a52dfc him that a man 830336a317 should be modest and 87babc2142 kind. Fortunately, Sejinwas a very modest man. He had never held another woman or man’s hand, and he rarely spoke properly with others. His extremely low sociability wasn’t something to boast about, but at least he met that requirement. Sejin tried to think positively.79688baa699df182

However, while Sejin’s mind might be modest, his body was rather full of energy. What would Cheon Sejoo think of him if he got an erection during their sacred workout time?44e8382617b7601d

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Not wanting to be seen as a pervert, Sejin rushed to the bathroom, determined not to let Cheon Sejoo see him in that state. He closed the shower door so the inside wouldn’t be visible even if the door was open, and turned on the hot water to obscure his vision before releasing all the pent-up energy within his body.d55eb0cd2528a203

By the time he was done, the hour Cheon Sejoo had mentioned was almost up. Sejin washed himself thoroughly, making sure he didn’t smell and stepped out. He stood in front of the mirror, patted his flushed cheeks a few times, then put on a short-sleeved t-shirt and long training pants before leaving his room.9dbad39756a8477e

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“What, did you take 3d3b8b5fa0 an hour-long shower?”9f8160a35ae6cd6a

“…….”b5c68329cc1edc75

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When he entered the matted room, Cheon Sejoo was stretching while enjoying the air conditioning. Sejin’s eyes were drawn to his exposed lower abdomen.06ccf508a94552cf

“Why… why are you undressed?”e526a224ef02b257

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He was only wearing a pants, revealing his toned physique. At Sejin’s flustered question, Cheon Sejoo glanced down at his upper body and shrugged.0163e37c4b3f1571

“I was working 02a3b23070 out in the 2dc12baf4b next room and 2baf09cb33 got sweaty. Too lazy to change.”3f608d3e20b045ae

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It took less than a minute to get from the exercise room to Cheon Sejoo’s room. Changing his clothes and returning would have taken only two minutes, and the fact that he was too lazy to do so irritated Sejin.5c292c28a7691d97

And the fact that Cheon Sejoo, who liked men, acted so carelessly in front of him felt like a clear indication that he didn’t see Sejin as a potential romantic partner at all. Resentment welled up inside Sejin. Puffing out his cheeks with a displeased expression, Sejin asked,c465a4380871cc3c

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“If you’re too lazy for that, how do you even eat and breathe?”ce3756b593c39901

“You’ve got a 0f7df42b2c point. Should I order an 96b9162b3a oxygen tank?”debf5a983759cd68

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“…….”cca8b6527ae797a2

Annoyed by his nonchalant 23d3933368 reply, Sejin sighed and f1e6113a12 raised his arms.Swoosh, he threw the t-shirt he was wearing at Cheon Sejoo. Cheon Sejoo caught the shirt in mid-air and frowned, his face asking ‘What am I supposed to do with this?’3432ac012c0da7c3

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“Put that on.”2f347a78f26a28bd

“Are you… feeling a little confident?”d140584e9e6e5a13

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Cheon Sejoo chuckled in disbelief, his eyes scanning Sejin’s body up and down. The blatant gaze made Sejin felt like a fire was igniting within him. Deciding that three times wouldn’t be enough, Sejin blushed and turned his head away. He responded in a blunt tone.24a1f7ff7b9fe2fe

“I don’t want to a267afb99f see another person’s body.”5e091d7a817ac7df

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“You’re a germaphobe.” bae5bf7b491f8be0

“If you know, 2f42c50300 then put it e4941e8810 on.”2a46ade7b8926624

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He had just 07157738fe blurted out whatever 5479f99fad came to mind, 11f81549e3 but fortunately, the 05d4fece43 excuse seemed to 378f169d3c work. It was thanks to 888f9f45f7 the numerous times he 2e4628b8e8 had nagged Cheon Sejoo 55023de277 about covering up, saying b8da5af3b2 his exposed body was dd626f18c1 an eyesore or telling 69067c8564 him to wear clothes.8e8f6d2271da3928

Sejin stared at Cheon 97fbbe27f8 Sejoo, the t-shirt fitting 1891eac5dd him perfectly, with trembling efcdfe05cf eyes, then turned and 1e12ea38f4 ran back to his 8bcafb2442 room. He grabbed a new 001e0c89f2 t-shirt, put it on, 38d7560753 and returned to the ccc374dc8f matted room. cda3b7b2f7928de4

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 7c9c7bd88ec60c72