PEN Vol 4 Ch. 2

From the rooftop of bb202cab06 Hankuk University Hospital, located a0edbcd74b in the heart of aaa6b1bddb the city, he could 42dcb0fd85 see the darkened cityscape 44d552be32 spread out below. The city, df528452fd dotted with 2acf389abe red crosses, 6517d9fee7 looked like 8667eb972f a giant 83e08b0b8a tomb. A hot wind, as 8aedea57b0 if rising from hell, 7672ec83b0 blew from it, carrying 68454b1d0a the heat of a cc87bcfc04 tropical night. In that heat, Cheon f999c9546a Sejoo blamed himself.4f162902b6dadb4d

When he first heard the news of Kim Hyunkyung’s collapse, what if he hadn’t hidden it from Sejin, as she had asked? What if he hadn’t accepted her explanation about dieting and instead found it strange? What if he had taken her to the hospital even once?e4124e84dcf0aa58

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What if he hadn’t thought Kim Hyunkyung, who was continuously losing weight, was overdoing it, but realized that something was wrong with her health? What if he had noticed the reason why Hyunkyung wore makeup every time he went to Ehwagak, even on her days off…?d95cdbc3d9cf580c

All those signs, now that he looked back, were so obvious that he could have noticed something was wrong if he had paid just a little more attention to her. Why hadn’t he noticed? He felt like he was going crazy.a9f4c82d97ea6548

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It had been the same when he lost Hye-in. Cheon Sejoo had been so focused on her future that he hadn’t realized what changes were happening to her. And it was the same this time. Kim Hyunkyung’s existence was essential for Sejin’s happiness, but he had been so focused solely on Sejin that he had been indifferent to Hyunkyung’s changes. He felt stupid.fb5bdf4a8ee998cb

His chest b501e5898d tightened painfully. He felt so suffocated 271727de24 that he had the 2e08fd3f52 urge to cut open 2346c5b190 his stomach with a e6b3109bb6 knife and pull out b8ace1bd1a everything inside. With a 80232cd34b blank expression, eac89ffb55 Sejoo pressed 0e14f5ea7c his hand 9edc3e0987 against his cf23c2852a chest and 387d6ab5a6 took a 3e2c794d55 deep breath.23e0939d87987923

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He was 7dfc9f27b8 pulled out ac5a40b7cd of his 97957b523f prolonged wallowing 27e0e16184 in regret 8660bed496 by the 262a6143a7 vibration of 10d0b8e125 his cell 56988d9684 phone in 17384b210b his jacket. Cheon Sejoo c52ab76afb came to ae969fe1bc his senses, d8f335707b realizing that 8157fa9dd4 Sejin was 4b9313d7ad calling him. Looking down ba457fbdc2 at the 464ade0145 screen, he 851bd9c4be saw that 6170155826 Sejin had c7e6808d48 called him 4cbaa07f19 twice.eff4a60754b5be28

“…Yes.”d2d001b3a5ec1386

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-Where are you?133d6f6bc4f40001

Sejin’s voice, fec1d1b71f asking his fc06574089 location, was 75c78f4a28 calmer than 78551004ad he had be2208a270 expected. Had he bffe22e7de not heard 0c6f3bd99e the news 1e8ee0f398 yet? Cheon Sejoo 4511a9dd19 raised his 593c540d16 right hand a6e5331f3f and checked 3b2e2464a4 his watch. Enough time had be68129db5 passed for Kim e9a8d72748 Joowon to have dee22d172e explained the situation 8d5c10064e to them.688fb305b9c48e2d

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Realizing that Sejin was 7d99642e4c suppressing his emotions and 67872052d1 looking for him, not 5acc5d9d68 his mother, Sejoo turned 3cdc5918e3 around. He slowly 8d80e5fe33 started walking, be03dea592 recognizing that dc2332e81c Sejin needed a4f3c1a685 him in 4f8c2b9a56 that state.44df0d0f0a71f1eb

“Rooftop. I’ll be right there.”9093dd0373b71295

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-Come quickly….5b3d85355485fce9

“…Wait just a little 58ca1bf16d bit.”4e864cd5893ba895

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He heard a small 8712636480 “Okay” in response. Cheon Sejoo fdb878c0ff hung up 5f0f577376 and went 8aac1fb37b down the 49c6880fcc stairs. Arriving on 4e62bce0ab the 17th 625cddb3dc floor and cd673fbc18 stepping into ae2d88462a the hallway, b4bb7440e1 he saw 9bf5e853e1 Sejin sitting ed2a345059 outside the b472a5294f patient’s room.dd8f073ad17961e1

Kwon Sejin looked exactly as he had when he left the house earlier that afternoon. A white short-sleeved t-shirt and black shorts. Sitting in a chair with his newly bought sneakers, which he had gotten recently because his feet had grown, Sejin’s expression was no different than usual.dee42ad8d4cd74bf

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With his usual sullen, expressionless face, he stared down at the floor. At first glance, he seemed as if he hadn’t heard the news from Kim Joowon yet. Perhaps Jowoon had stopped by another patient’s room first and hadn’t had a chance to speak to Sejin yet.f8ce402678234709

Cheon Sejoo approached Sejin, 0c11794a92 thinking such thoughts. However, it a1303ba4de was a 4907ab34a6 hasty judgment.71206e474ab1610b

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Hearing Cheon Sejoo’s footsteps, Sejin’s expression crumbled. His indifferent eyes became moist, and his eyebrows drooped. His bright red lips were marked with bite marks. Sejin looked up at Cheon Sejoo and called his name in a voice filled with resentment.811670180a124725

“Cheon Sejoo.”1d2312686401c6a3

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His voice trembled thinly 10f5c33cf9 as if he were 8b5643241a about to burst into 79e21ece63 tears.228a6ed95132c190

“Where were ad76ac07d7 you and dd66439323 why are 03da04c1f0 you only 7dfbc24a37 here now?”d2ee80e88c323cef

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Sejin buried his face in the chest of the man standing before him. Large arms wrapped around his waist. Frozen stiff, Cheon Sejoo couldn’t bring himself to push away Sejin, who clung to him like a child, and just stood there.27d2f2fe104634fd

The remaining heat in his body combined with Sejin’s body temperature made him feel like he was burning inside. The guilt, like ashes falling piece by piece, left an indelible scar on his heart. 7de6637728b244b0

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“Mom is very sick…. Really, really sick….”6645ab750627f8d0

Sejin murmured, his lips 1ef8e7c6c4 quivering.fce15092868b9a3f

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…I know. Your mom collapsed a few months ago too. But, Sejin, I just brushed it off. If I had just thought about it a little more strangely, things wouldn’t have turned out like this. I believed your mom when she said she was fine, and I just brushed everything off….78d0917405058510

However, the words he 4b03f990a5 should have spoken remained 260df1a933 stuck in his throat, c7f828eb55 rotting away.156980084ec9e1c3

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“What should I do?”a4d38c884d9d27dd

The shirt against Sejin’s cheek became damp. Kwon Sejin shook his head, rubbing his face against Cheon Sejoo’s chest, as if he truly didn’t know what to do.b7be8b3dcc0b659b

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“Tell me what to do…. I don’t know anything….”fffe1104fee710d8

The fragile voice tore at Cheon Sejoo’s heart. He couldn’t bring himself to tell him the truth. He couldn’t confess. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he’d missed the chance.9e56d3e60fe47bd6

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“She’ll get better with treatment. …It’s not too late, not at all.”92c8c548f6863fbe

I don’t want Kwon Sejin to hate me. At least to you, Sejin, I want to remain a good person until the very end. 7d9d89d2074c23dc

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Ignoring the sickening guilt, Cheon Sejoo accepted Sejin’s warmth, who was clinging to him, without resistance. Holding him tightly in his arms, he whispered over and over that everything would be alright.6aeb6f439d2eb72e

* * *a184318df68a0dc0

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Sejin was quick to accept the misfortune. After crying in Cheon Sejoo’s arms until the hallway lights went out, Sejin started searching for information about pancreatic tumors the next day.fd086e97c59e400a

The problem was none other than Kim Hyunkyung. As if she had vaguely sensed that something was wrong with her, she wasn’t very positive about the treatment.b46f823cd1f96987

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“I just want to be discharged.”6b82cef20f1031a1

Those were Kim Hyunkyung’s f183b7a5a8 words as soon as 2d1b27d9aa she saw the doctor 927d00b139 who had come for 6878b865ca rounds. Hearing that, Sejin 5bddb01196 glared fiercely and 37205a53de yelled at her 1e59c602ac not to say 2e7b6a65d1 such things, but a61b26e28d Kim Hyunkyung was 02cbcdb0f9 adamant.f69b7ae94d8d44d1

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“I can bear it. I don’t want treatment. Please let me be discharged.”5aed651520562288

“Why are you doing this?!”0014eebf875a73d3

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The oncologist, with 1c04437d44 a troubled expression, 2d04767a45 looked at Cheon 17db194d01 Sejoo. He recognized 67fa8f40e2 him, not 61644d373a the tall c5ff316dc3 but still c345d54e1e student-like Sejin, 660f758f36 as the 1e23c661ba guardian. Cheon Sejoo looked back cd0f367ee3 and forth between Kim b6151d10a9 Hyunkyung and Sejin, then 9e8567e77f shook his head at 4ff78e288d the doctor and said,b2117b3c904df442

“She’ll get a biopsy, and if it’s cancer… she’ll go to the center for treatment.”2a20892b4bca726a

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“Mr. Cheon!”ebdec7197e27e5ab

This time, it was c8f80be2ba Kim Hyunkyung who yelled 1b609a2f49 at his firm voice. The doctor, deciding 163786e5bd to give them 592f81938c some time, although e0fd563744 the patient’s wishes 84d1b4db40 were paramount, instructed 5bc2335dbc the nurse to f587fbf1dd schedule blood tests, 64f61461c1 a PET scan, 1a249cfb9c and other various 037188fac8 examinations before leaving.fa8378cc124a92ed

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After the doctor left ecec1131da the room, Kim Hyunkyung 6c3911205b wore a hard expression 5284944a9f on her face that  4a00f801f1 Cheon Sejoo had never 84a1eff691 seen before. Watching her 70708fe875 with her c0ee259537 lips tightly df7152e44a pressed together ce4a56d5db as if 9827fc776a she was 2305581ae5 angry, Cheon e78fc63b50 Sejoo spoke 0aaf813fab to Sejin.03a632d8ddba50ce

“Kwon Sejin, go outside for a moment.”b8c9e07c807c0c77

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“But I…!”313e8478c3118ea6

“Sejin.”841f1a5616b3243d

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Sejin, who was about to yell at Kim Hyunkyung, resisted with a frown, but in the end, he couldn’t ignore Cheon Sejoo’s low call. Only after he went out into the hallway and the sliding door closed completely did Cheon Sejoo move.4e2cdaaa000bee51

He pulled a chair 38cd805c9c from by the window, 119499f0e3 placed it next to 61b364a350 the hospital bed, and e8560dbb31 sat down. Kim Hyunkyung immediately fixed 6dcb9ecf5e her eyes on him 963148f7cc with a knowing gaze. Meeting her eyes, fb963c268f Cheon Sejoo spoke b2bce1ee39 in a firm 63db34b3b4 voice.afb4b1fcb7b8df3c

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“Get the tests and receive treatment.”008753029ef6d864

“It’s none of your concern, Manager. I’m really grateful and thankful that you’re taking care of Sejin, but this is my business. It’s not something you should be interfering in.”da12f73a93ce9960

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Kwon Sejin was the spitting image of his mother, in appearance and personality. So Kim Hyunkyung, just like Sejin, was also extremely stubborn. Even with her pale, thin face, he could sense that she wouldn’t easily give in. Cheon Sejoo stared at Kim Hyunkyung for a moment, then asked,df466c29f4e8a25b

“Is it because of money?”32b81b3530c6d5a4

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He wasn’t unaware of her feelings about refusing treatment. Cheon Sejoo himself was also accustomed to poverty in his childhood. It wasn’t difficult for him to understand the thoughts of those steeped in poverty.f6357e5a98465454

What frightened those who had nothing wasn’t the approaching death. The situation of struggling to survive and ending up burdened with debt was more despairing to them than death itself.19cea926f026dc91

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Moreover, since the doctor mentioned the size of the tumor and hinted at the possibility of cancer, Kim Hyunkyung couldn’t help but think about the days after she eventually died during treatment. Judging that Sejin wouldn’t be able to handle the medical expenses, she concluded that it would be better to just suffer and die. For her, death was better than poverty.bf401d9cb0760951

“If that’s what 0ef913a3be you’re worried about, 7f4b31c9bd Ehwagak will cover 182f979cbf the medical expenses 8f3b64d5a3 as part of 222883e15a employee benefits.”7299efd1b0d34347

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Cheon Sejoo lied with a straight face. He didn’t want to burden her with the feeling of being indebted to him. Not only would it not help with her treatment, but if she was as stubborn as Sejin, there was a chance that she would stubbornly refuse treatment if he offered to help.4f7b1f0ba196c284

“So, don’t worry about that….”ae04f8b1cf1fbae1

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“Mr. Cheon, do you think I’m a fool?”87708084f4d00d10

However, Kim Hyunkyung wasn’t a child like Sejin. She knew too much to be fooled by a few words.d0d227479b32437d

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Interrupting Cheon Sejoo, she 3090495301 met his gaze and deb051b064 opened her mouth.ffdda0bb3c26b1cb

“I heard this is Korea University Hospital. I know that you pulled some strings to get me here. I know that, by the rules, I shouldn’t have even been able to leave the vicinity of Ehwagak. I know all of that. Other employees might be different, but those who entered Ehwagak because of debt have many restrictions on their actions. Work comes before treatment even when they’re sick, and do you know how many times I’ve heard there that it’s better not to get sick in the first place? So don’t tell me such ridiculous lies.”1ea7eaa700a83335

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“…….”2a4378f3dc579dd9

At Kim Hyunkyung’s bitter voice, Cheon Sejoo lowered his eyes.e3e591241399e634

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