PEN Vol 4 Ch. 17

At Sejin’s quiet e380425897 question, another sharp e4ed009073 pain shot through 3748aea094 Sejoo’s head as 1b81f359e2 if it were 20e3ff959b being stabbed with 7e53fd2854 a knife.1eeb9ed60fcc6b69

He found out. So that’s why e935e99eb8 Sejin didn’t return 751008032e to the hospital 058e79a43d room.a73f0f162659162d

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With this 43601d8ff1 belated realization, 38ecf77af4 Cheon Sejoo c09d1fb0c9 closed his dce0b301cb eyes tightly 40656ae387 and then 25b40c60b2 opened them, 0b7fb17daf lifting his 33d7a30219 gaze. He saw the f733e7e747 redness around Sejin’s 431767de18 eyes. Sejin stared at d73e571f2e Cheon Sejoo with d6a3282ca6 a desolate gaze 3857046b07 and asked again.7732f451ab08e5fb

“Was it that f832c744a6 day? The day you 4085f2c229 went to Ehwagak d514cbc705 alone.”5b4a13a50d655b85

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“…….”b6954b6fd0c19761

He was speechless. He couldn’t answer. That day, Cheon Sejoo had lied to Sejin, telling him that he and Kim Hyunkyung had discussed Sejin’s grades.1ea8c623ea4fcc50

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Sejin had initially doubted df6800dfc9 him, but it was a7e1d10293 Cheon Sejoo who, by b253ca0bbb chipping away at his 0ff3d503d4 pride, made him believe d34b142b36 the lie.ebbc50e2bf4bedf4

When Cheon Sejoo 9f3cd415f8 remained silent, Sejin 22f0350dbc bit his lip 40b7089144 and narrowed his 36c10204da eyes. His clenched 0508c9ac7d fists turned d4ee18985e white, and 835779701d soon, with d8a7a9adfa a face d4b8020700 seemingly holding 68b3b37a1c back tears, 48ab8be806 he opened d0823f48d5 his mouth.823d0bc769f82fbd

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“Why didn’t you e9e102fb1a tell me? You could 1f81bc74b2 have let 3dc4489afd me know…!”f02db4ee6aea6352

Kwon Sejin 1a4b5be13f now hates b14123408c me.e91ebc8919844dbe

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At that moment, 55b4ed0d65 a deep desire d8fbbd2e89 to confess everything ad57f199d8 surged within him. 202588b1278b0e85

It wasn’t intentional. I wanted to tell you, but your mother asked me not to say anything.cfbcf61e9fcfcf33

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He wanted to 7f26fd0071 say those words. He wanted to redirect a7b88f8676 Sejin’s resentment towards Kim 3ccc95291a Hyunkyung.5190e06fe6b77ec9

But how could 39dc097022 he?3176bc799deaf593

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How could he, a696ae230f driven by his 2a46cb2cff own fear of 0a42c2a858 being hated, inflict b0048a61bd pain on Sejin 43e6304617 in her place? What right 36a310e268 did he 93b274fb05 have to 8d9e70760f make Kwon 249b783134 Sejin resent 1db13b4937 his own 4a51938c27 mother…?22d2698be2ff2c85

Cheon Sejoo a3463a3aca watched Sejin, 21d9c3b8c7 his lips 770ecc19c9 sealed. He simply wished Sejin 1db5cdbc9a wouldn’t cry. He wished 9b24c3a39e Sejin wouldn’t 7859f35803 dwell on 820927443e that day c61a19c672 with regret. To achieve 4b770971b8 that, he 2034cfef49 needed something be1d3fc2af to cover 0b495dcb10 up the 10bc617fd8 regret.4f0f0b8eea5f09a6

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“Why should I have fd3c50646b told you?”d84c975aef8c3eaf

“…What?”5671adccf2ae15d3

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Sejin’s eyes widened at Cheon Sejoo’s cold question. Looking at him, Cheon Sejoo pressed firmly on one side of his forehead, which was throbbing with a headache. Kim Hyunkyung’s request to him not to tell Sejin about “that day’s incident” during their earlier conversation had been conveniently left unsaid.9c2c932bbd423dda

She had 4579527973 simply thanked bcfe931b9f Cheon Sejoo 4491b455e6 for not 691a560573 telling him, 72ab5354c8 so the 622aec4f40 agitated Sejin d871283058 wouldn’t have c10a0648d2 thought that 9168074fcd far. He forced an c544811acc indifferent tone in c4f55b03ec his voice.fff0dea4db69fa8f

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“It’s true that your aaa76f3647 mother collapsed that day. But it 26e39d4817 was a 7d0e73cd47 trivial matter bef8182f33 then, and 973f137834 it wasn’t 0a69342065 something important 060cefa2a7 to me.”7b72333180925e6c

Lying wasn’t difficult. There was bd4f0f10e1 something more 5436967c22 important right b25cf1cfe5 in front 1ef249adb0 of him.5bd636a9e5e0aa81

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“Trivial…?”81e420e78ffe2db9

“It’s nothing serious. People collapse from 93cad6eb4e working in the 4e842c228a summer heat.”793874c7308116c3

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Yes. I’d rather 22ea962963 you hate b38d0ea40b me instead. Don’t resent her…1bc2503c771c2674

“How… how ecc76d82b0 can you 34b9ecb85b say something 77dec21dd6 like that?”4391e1d11337c354

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And just 8343164a41 as Cheon 7fcb1d2104 Sejoo had b56ec94a06 wished, Sejin’s 49a1a00653 trembling gaze ebb6c3e1dd turned towards 72ac0f4e1b him. With tears c05f639ef4 welling in 60568d3376 his eyes, 0b6cf30c14 Sejin clenched 827f0db198 his fists 3636eef8c2 and glared 34cf3b7293 at Cheon df7e17d4b9 Sejoo.75e902330417fc8f

His expression showed disbelief d28351db41 as if he couldn’t 7f4bab2ee1 believe Cheon Sejoo was 2abed8d101 saying these things to c37ba39fba him. That belief was both 427b3613ae comforting and burdensome. Cheon Sejoo, with 8eb719b7b7 a cold expression, 1f9af40f2b drove the wedge 827ca6675b further.bad6b39b4598993b

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“Why blame me for e1fe68525c something like this? I didn’t know 80323a1d3e it would turn e2a6ecb196 out this way. It’s in the past, 1d5b016926 just let it go.”c8ff0925fd586af8

“How… how can you…”70ec62236cb9dbaf

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Sejin couldn’t 19605ac7c0 finish his c4b9765faa sentence and c0d92b77d9 closed his 0b79b6c762 mouth. Tears, a cc9c741432 chaotic mix 37812623a6 of anger dd3e21b316 and betrayal, 4001da6eb9 streamed down 065cc3bc5f his cheeks. His face turned pale.6dfa3060a72e35f9

The moment Sejoo 20b5550597 saw this, the 5a4dbac36e urge to tell bb839f6558 him the truth 2ed7180d47 surged again. But Cheon Sejoo 49cd6db85b gritted his teeth 52005698dc and held back.56bb81891f712217

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If he b688d2a6a0 confessed the 1a21271e76 truth, the adc01c2369 weight of 285dbb6447 Sejin’s resentment 5e0530f13b towards him f9d24f8ca8 would lighten e40c7f2f30 somewhat. But resentment a83d4be4a2 was an 5813bf7f2c emotion that adcf293f97 never truly 55a77b6b41 disappeared. Sejin would 54bbc74e4e inevitably resent 0f3082557b Kim Hyunkyung 8361b21e2a to the 4178ca995f same degree 32a4c1c18b that he 12574e1879 forgave Cheon 6520357557 Sejoo. He would f8402edde9 resent her c8cb59b6ae for not 734f693045 telling him 214214c472 sooner, for d2d790eca1 not giving a206d57d1c him the de4a849c20 chance to 7f4b75f940 protect her.cacc597a2f7b8364

But Kim Hyunkyung was dying. Cheon Sejoo wished that when she passed, Sejin wouldn’t harbor any resentment towards her. Those negative feelings would gnaw at Sejin, who would be left alone, for a very long time. Cheon Sejoo didn’t want Sejin to experience what he had gone through.8f2f1c0eb158c15e

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And what was he? Just someone who had briefly stayed by Sejin’s side, a temporary guardian in his life, with a predetermined end. Even if Sejin were hurt by today’s events, it would be only a fleeting pain. If Sejin had to resent one of them, him or Kim Hyunkyung, it had to be him.f4fce1031979af9c

Cheon Sejoo clenched his fists to resist the urge to wipe away Sejin’s tears. 2c7ec1dd6cfd8692

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Glaring at Sejoo, his face pale, Sejin grabbed the hem of Cheon Sejoo’s jacket he was wearing. With trembling hands, he pulled it off and tossed it back at Cheon Sejoo as if throwing it away.141b65f7ef1abc9e

“I don’t… need 51dfcd0e4f this…crap…”2903e4f1e917540b

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His fragile voice crumbled. Sejin turned 0cf03937b7 his back dde1fc459d on Cheon b5919648f3 Sejoo, refusing 5374e1c011 to look bc01f2b667 at him. d13ca66f069201c1

Cheon Sejoo clutched the jacket, which still held a faint trace of Sejin’s warmth. He watched Sejin’s retreating back as he walked away, rooted to the spot as if lifeless.b8b5cfef332d7b3f

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Everything felt burdensome. Kim Hyunkyung cf998b9fa8 dying, Sejin’s 67614491af pain, his afa2f5d172 resentment… It a29a62fa7a was to 54df7c2e5a the point 4465e51fa8 where he fdeaaa1d89 wanted to 71e99182ec let everything 4676bb0b44 go. But he couldn’t.ad15ae4d245df56d

He knew this resentment f6f69f2b70 was temporary. In the ba6983493a end, the b5013da26a only person 599a681eb4 Kwon Sejin b6290a823b could lean 70b72f789a on was cca6e34e37 him, and 3317a0a208 Sejin was 1953a91d02 bound to 7a018b6e04 return to d81a26b2cd his arms b250c43946 before long.77f76915c4c8135f

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To embrace Sejin then, 5b8368197b he had to endure c5b6c5d691 until the end. He had to 50ec20347e stand firm, ensuring dfd7d8ec26 no one saw 6543d6dca4 him waver.e8f2f89e4cc55932

Cheon Sejoo moved his bcc81fc86d feet with difficulty. The cold da1fb8f66e winter wind 08bb37a912 seemed to 674d1655ba have frozen b3f73d4367 his entire dc97828e3b body, but 78e5f94631 driven by 376f82e6f8 the thought 81a76d4a04 of returning 02aab017e9 to Sejin, 48fa6cf5bb he closed 189702d0d1 the rooftop d1283bc7ac door and 3f5618b9f8 went back c1a1d5752c inside. He was 8f754d8d2c about to a841ad3228 head back 22dc807b27 to Kim aefc350978 Hyunkyung’s hospital 020de2a241 room when…6b0c4d9f268226ed

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“Cheon Sejoo!”3b5fc35607545a06

A figure appearing seemingly 68212af3f6 out of nowhere grabbed 349ef6ab1f Cheon Sejoo by the 9382e4797f collar. 79cf7b756084e628

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Thud. f72d125c3d8adb76

With no fb1644ae2c resistance, his ba2994cb24 back slammed a04c0a2a70 against the 85b03217ae wall, and dcde360878 he stared 803ed7e343 ahead with b6906ba2b4 an empty 6dc33b20ad gaze.c49d7ffa505d70fc

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A man, somehow f8aa8fc3f0 familiar yet unfamiliar, 1406566d83 stood before him. Cheon Sejoo blinked, unable 1e4f629767 to recognize him immediately.196f7bfba6ddb408

“How dare you show 17122b1f1b your face here, you cc7f27a530 criminal scum!”90f062ed804a63c5

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The sudden accusation brought 61893cd8a1 him back to his 4a1a0774b8 senses. Only then, with 079dd29f63 a slightly clearer 3d7d63919f gaze, did Cheon fe5248f773 Sejoo focus on d583c861ae the man in 56dd333b72 front of him.d7074749d7f2c10a

“Don’t you have any 2aada5434a conscience? Aren’t you ashamed c27e696241 to face your 59b25adde5 colleagues?!”c0791c9cc0c448d5

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A white doctor’s coat was draped over the hand gripping his collar. 0711331dfb70e9e2

Lee Jung-oh. 6350a07b089e13a4

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Upon seeing the name 0d0bb94292 embroidered on it, Cheon 391e1e2dde Sejoo finally remembered exactly 1224257f27 who he was.55d7213a8e939e8f

He was someone who 793f7ec53a lingered in his memory. A colleague 91fb8cf771 he wasn’t 7cca6e2f7b particularly close 23c3fed6ec to. And the guy a592eeafd6 who had visited b7b265ce2c him in jail, e62ae36433 spewing harsh words 0712551a3b about never returning 12df521ec7 to the hospital c93377efd8 before leaving.5bafbcfe068a2a42

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“You piece 621dacf3aa of trash cc4ff89328 who tried c17300990d to kill 9d6fd41130 someone, aren’t 3c105efead you embarrassed? Why are you 14c7bb0b5f here?!”857d68ce71ca9967

His former colleague was extremely agitated. The sharp accusations he hurled pierced Cheon Sejoo’s chest. His voice, filled with hostility, echoed loudly through the stairwell. Cheon Sejoo’s head felt like it was splitting. Yet, he couldn’t even bring himself to push the man away; he just laughed weakly.938ad9e1e636ff54

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“You should’ve gone 3d35a07b9e to a different 46abeea282 hospital! Even if you were 21ab7bdab0 dying, you should’ve gone 506a99ff7c somewhere else! Do you know 35319abf73 what we had 0cd1c37600 to listen to 130cce818f after you left?! What the e64a27b047 patients said?! How dare you come 0576bdb170 here?!”da138de8b7451825

Lee Jung-oh had always 734af65fd5 harbored an inferiority complex 093a0d82c9 towards him. He had baf9c69e80 been subjected 75cd6f3eae to his 19adb55ff1 attacks more 77caa41ac7 than once, b1ae7169d0 so such 6e5faa9dc2 accusations weren’t b69049a3c4 unfamiliar, yet ac55c39c27 they felt fd552917c2 utterly hollow.68ab7c9cefe390d7

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He had told Ha 1d1a5be4ab Yereum, who was worried d7e920466c about him, that he 335b7a8775 was fine, but it fc28c4c7d4 was ironically amusing that 64ef69ca64 at this very moment, d3a3755ec8 someone appeared to remind cc8e8d04cb him of who he 3888a6d122 was.7fadf305af254cc7

I know. I know that… fd5542ac54c81ae0

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Cheon Sejoo didn’t 786b96b44f want to come 2cb0340302 here either. If it had b61e6f3836 been him, not 469e736282 Kim Hyunkyung, who 2d5ffca5a1 was sick, he 450424c02a would never have 6d599f36cc set foot in 8db58becbf this place.5fc66a46bd83e804

But what 936c61a680 choice did 06a94f9eaa he have? With Sejin 66f1cd0d09 looking like be314fe774 that, Cheon 8de24afaf0 Sejoo could acfa51b5b5 only think c8268b9da7 of taking 277f8f2f24 his mother c16a742f54 to the 4020f5a2f5 best medical 48ba412f64 professionals he 3a182a235c knew.390f4403b91f3105

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He had 158d04a562 no regrets 5a5548200a now. He had always a1601eb854 thought something like 983d9bbb78 this would happen 960af22a00 eventually. But did it 912b905f2a have to be 305ff80715 now? He had been in 39988a0c90 and out of the 85bdd20422 hospital for months, so fac16d485c why did it have 4890bbaedf to be now…?7c6df63a35cf7dfc

Cheon Sejoo closed his d1142337d3 eyes tightly and covered 8333afc8c9 his ears. The accusations directed at 6871272e99 him poured down on 587b2b6b64 him. Words that normally wouldn’t 1943bf9f80 have bothered him felt d7ad68278e heavy today. He felt 3d31920e38 like he 1cf0dcbb51 was suffocating…10a386654d4eed76

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 a987ffd4c5ea10c6