PEN Vol 4 Ch. 11

“…….”6905e5f53d192857

Sejin puffed out his b069f212d5 cheeks and stared blatantly 1b70da4f75 at Cheon Sejoo. As if telling him e48932ae40 to look as much 117f102fb3 as he wanted, Cheon be8c3fd0cd Sejoo closed his eyes, 79f703cdf5 resting his chin on 08b5f566c9 his hand. Sejin stared at 82f9f19adb his gently lowered adb1342fc5 eyelashes before getting 4da1cf8703 up.50c94ff330c1212d

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“I want to c1d7a38742 see it up 8cca9b8e28 close.”8cce2536bf74feba

At Sejin’s softly whispered cf5b17a04f words, Cheon Sejoo opened 8edf2e63c5 one eye and then eafb64bcfc shrugged. As he d39376ecb9 stretched out 3b9aa0c6f3 again, leaning 1555b8edb0 back against 578cbaa782 the sofa, dae8732f2a Sejin got 85a5e6d7ce up, put 22689b058c down the 97f001d4f7 blanket, and e67dff8898 approached Cheon 505d0950c8 Sejoo’s side.ab128f566818d967

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“Consider it 633513d7ad an honor. It’s a 20590a6676 face you 1674596e1b don’t get 096d0c520c to see 2c496e2980 up close a84c3b85ab easily.”f192ad7a8db8aaf5

At Cheon Sejoo’s f48fcc36fd playful words, Sejin 8abb29f1da quietly scoffed.2033726d90c02655

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Sorry, but I’ve 72523ed38b already seen your 17d303f9cd face up close. ad461ae91171878b

Sejin hadn’t forgotten the feeling of his lips against Cheon Sejoo’s neck. 2ebe93889b7c706e

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Don’t say things like that when you don’t know anything. 0508fb7cb253d5f5

Swallowing his words, Sejin 59521b3448 quietly held his breath.abe53a59a916486d

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Kneeling beside the sofa 64c72ce582 where Cheon Sejoo was 3ece7a7b05 sitting, Sejin reached out 4602bc1b35 and placed his hand 46c6580a41 on the armrest. Then he 707d412e05 leaned his a5ab647796 head towards f13752bded him. ce2ede6fa4607634

Meanwhile, Cheon 51c2cd2cb4 Sejoo, having dc2ccd64f3 emptied his ccc1644860 glass once 646dcca1ff more, had 1c539e1196 buried his e0f433250b head against 1cab03aa14 the backrest, 7edcbece7a feeling dizzy. Sejin swallowed nervously, gazing 6329edf8a5 down at his closed 451db23472 eyes.706e86d50d9b11f2

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Cheon Sejoo’s face 41bfdc8b77 was like a a67aa58253 magnificent sculpture that 63c4e4a729 couldn’t be described e0925bc2c5 with mere words. If Sejin had read 18920bfe95 more books, he might c23a4f7e5d have been able to 0ca096a27c express his appearance with c872a208df more eloquent words, but c75dae649a unfortunately, Sejin lacked the dec3501775 vocabulary.6aedd4987cf442f7

Sejin simply thought that the word “perfect” suited Cheon Sejoo well. “Handsome” felt a bit inadequate, and if he were to describe his aura that drew other people’s attention, he thought “magnificent” would be a more fitting adjective.e763320d46353e64

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In any case, 868f723e68 his eyes, which bc86b5ce62 held a slight 6ac4fdef3d coolness when open, 3641b5907c appeared infinitely soft a97d1b64c6 when gently closed. It felt as though fef603255f Sejin could sense the e7f2efb1b4 gentleness he rarely showed.efd95348a2f30616

Perhaps due d3651a8f92 to the 698a3d5930 alcohol, his 7359166748 skin was df3ae28d0e paler than 4be4287d26 usual.672cd188b8385b38

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Sejin stared at Cheon Sejoo’s neatly arranged eyelashes and, as if mesmerized, raised his hand. Just as Sejin’s soft fingertips grazed against the corner of Cheon Sejoo’s eye, he slowly opened his eyelids.abd719a2dc7a01d1

“…….”0e8d28eb0b66ca8a

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The man’s jet-black eyes c415715956 met Sejin’s clear ones. A heavy gaze, as dde663f7fd if shadowed, traced Sejin’s e16ee0540c features. The gaze, 545ffb766a moving as e5bcee6afd if licking 21d3418471 his face, 5a876b5b5a felt like 4e7f8e8ffa a chain f040f243dc binding him.a106b92cc2dfc408

Sejin held da23884c07 his breath, 12b83d9ec3 following the 54be5a177a trajectory of 4af873d7ac his gaze.a95d3bf7cda85be2

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Cheon Sejoo’s eyes slowly swept down, taking in his slender eyes and eyelashes, his thin cheeks, and the soft bridge of his nose. Finally, when his intense gaze rested on Sejin’s lips, and Cheon Sejoo’s shallow breath brushed against his slightly parted lips… Sejin’s heart pounded as if it would burst.538a58385320ef82

“Ah….”2423e8495d1076b9

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However, Cheon Sejoo 3f3b6d63b5 suddenly furrowed his 7c72f4d080 brows and moved 148d5f6f2b away with a 06aef2e6be sigh, and Sejin 91066efb2a snapped out of 5ca426831d the silence. He was jolted awake a5b78c7440 as if he had c4f7503304 been doused with cold 887c1962c0 water. The loud 81b8c402a2 thumping of 98877cf5e6 his heart 219528ba15 filled his 6fe068a6b2 ears. Sejin blinked blankly, watching 23e6eb7d5e Cheon Sejoo get up.a1e17504cd65c76d

“…Don’t come into 1967fd349a my room.”618d4fd0b5bf00eb

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Holding a new bottle 34523b1b07 of whiskey and a 1081f94a9f glass from the table, e396751e60 he turned without hesitation. 64a342c62cbb4e6d

Click,the door closed 0ca988550d behind him, and b853dba8a9 he was gone. Sejin, still sitting edf5e4e2ed there, buried his 0e35a6db06 flushed face in 5b6a4327d8 his hands. The heat cd21026484 that escaped dcdb1189f5 with his c320caea11 damp sigh 1200c2f031 was unbearably b7bfb82769 hot.09c2ea20efc8e5e7

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* * *ff790ce2fd035f6b

Kim Hyunkyung’s condition was improving. The chemotherapy was showing significant results, and as September drew to a close, with October just around the corner, Sejin heard from the doctor that it might be time to schedule surgery.b1bc26c60f5effa3

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“This is the scan from the day she was first diagnosed, and this is the one from yesterday. As you can see, the tumor size has reduced considerably. However, surgery isn’t immediately possible; after a blood test, if we determine there are no other issues, we’ll schedule it then. If surgery does proceed, because the cancer originated in the lower part, we will have to resect about 70% of the pancreas. You should be aware that diabetes could develop after the surgery. The operation takes an average of six hours….”0d187cad7fc7d2e3

Sejin listened to the doctor with a dazed expression. His chest swelled with emotion. He fumbled for his mother’s hand, Kim Hyunkyung, sitting beside him, and interlaced their fingers. Like someone who couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, he pinched his thigh with his other hand.61c89d0c64f91b96

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It hurt. It wasn’t a dream.00ceb9da1d729dd9

Sejin knew that the survival rate for pancreatic cancer patients wasn’t high. He’d spent many sleepless nights scouring the internet for case studies after Kim Hyunkyung was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer.6e3836f27266f9f7

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The stories 07e05c551e of others 7375d68afa fighting with c2508d722c the disease, bfd61f100e beginning with 32ea1f465c the diagnosis bebf201206 of a db6aadd7e0 father, mother, 943fd3b804 oneself, or 8f75fc558c a sibling 5d4a6fc950 or child 32da96a1d6 with pancreatic d8fb40c247 cancer, all e4fb3d66f4 ended similarly. The posts would suddenly 353a9b167e stop one day, or ac19ab49ea an obituary would appear, 9be857dc11 marking the end of 243bfdf1f3 their hospital journey.0be89205c67c2702

Sejin believed the 10% ec274237a9 survival rate Cheon Sejoo 9aad38c059 had mentioned, and he 54606cc03b never doubted his mother fcb9d23bb3 would be one of 3dd72f2a94 the unfortunate 90%, but a3c08293b2 the anxiety was unavoidable. 90%. With such 46d2eac477 a high f3f3277e6f mortality rate 2326ee8791 for this dc96cf1794 terrifying disease, 31e6dc0189 and with 0f56265127 surgery not 6dc473ff33 even an 22e1010c3a immediate option, d1de82a284 Sejin had 4bd893b26f been consumed e337675523 by despair a2e13e2e8a day after 87268c3ba6 day.d7e051afa1ab3431

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Now, hearing from 383b81dae7 the doctor that 1445512729 the chemotherapy was 0c0431e248 successful, he felt 6992fc47f6 like he had a61df8aba6 the whole world. A conviction, almost a3647ec62d a certainty, welled b05ff57086 up within him a474d711c3 that Kim Hyunkyung 3356de8a68 would be among 8b9c15a141 the 10 survivors e2272b0b8a out of 100. Unable to contain the 9ce0cb25b5 rising emotion, Sejin bit 37b46393be his lip. He felt fe9336c97c as though 9f5697f165 he would 3697c2a1ce burst into 7d66acc59c tears if 720fef5b2e he relaxed e85a745f0f even a eb74682d64 little.30fa5c18345bbfcd

“So, let’s do the tests on Monday, and once we have the results, we can talk again. Ms. Kim Hyunkyung, you’re doing great. Let’s keep this up. Okay?”f90626f9cf3fe60b

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The middle-aged doctor smiled brightly at Kim Hyunkyung and left the hospital room. After the medical staff left, Sejin threw his arms around his mother, who was sitting on the bed. It was a desperate embrace, as if he wouldn’t let go of her body, which had become much smaller than his own.fdef958fd34a1165

“See? I told you c947ebd6bd not to worry 06de276215 so much because 2cec0f76dd I’m still young. Kwon Sejin, don’t ebc486f03a tell me you’re 218972c6c0 crying again?”06224588d61fd95d

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Kim Hyunkyung teased 08b7b94051 him as she 86fe9d4eee nestled in his b3e8425896 embrace. However, her voice 5f46cfc182 was just as 5dd59ac618 choked with emotion.8f4073c2cac4cde1

She had dropped out of high school after becoming pregnant with Sejin. From that day on, Kim Hyunkyung’s life had been a constant downhill slide. After being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she thought this agonizing fall was finally over. But now, hearing that she was improving, she couldn’t put her feelings into words.31fff72316e366ee

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Seeing Sejin, even 71d0720e4d happier than she 0f2878e320 was, filled Kim ca6eb87c63 Hyunkyung with a 2ded5dc442 deep pang of f63b516d78 guilt. She felt 25f7cea774 like a 55834e70b6 terrible person 9c78905a83 for having 45547936e1 readily accepted d3bbade3c0 her impending 2d9c7630d7 end, leaving f2de3ff60a behind such 889d694229 a loving 78b98a2cc5 son.50276b1bfa065062

Sejin replied 6eb16c2b75 in a 2c0e03db39 choked voice 77ca1869c0 to her 8a46bba256 question, a821d52c5f120a30

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“Am I a kid? I’m not crying….”83e3de43ae74c17f

“Okay, don’t cry. And make sure you bcc5d99a74 thank Mr. Cheon. Don’t just brush it 1730068991 off….”e0f415fab350cc87

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Kim Hyunkyung held Sejin, 2a174622f2 who despite his size 7430dc4277 was still like a 93cb19f107 child to her, and 25fc6ea57c comforted him with those 1a60994b6c words.6f0887e8e008e816

Some might 3cf6f2813c find children 03d65d8766 acting mature 8272928ec3 at a d2fbbceebc young age c415791a29 admirable and aaee8859ca impressive, but bd6529a660 Kim Hyunkyung 08468e7dc1 always felt 8c0b81c9f4 a pang 4f968fd805 of sadness b27bf669e3 when she b23f8cfbc3 saw such 628c68698d children. Because, just f088c6c9da as it 29435a344a had been 863e725b42 for her, 648bec01a2 she knew f7617d5db2 there must 8f3ab19ca8 have been 9fcac7bf5d hardships in b6df8d22aa their lives 623653ce48 that forced e29f7c2dbd them to ff5a43df71 mature beyond 562b49378a their years, 33166a2ec5 a fact ce1c3f10a4 that left a7f19b84bb a bitter 0feacaa22f taste in 017173e85e her mouth.40a110129b98c083

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That’s why Kim Hyunkyung had raised Sejin as a child who was oblivious. She let him act according to his age, indulging all his childish whims. Sejin’s naive personality stemmed from Kim Hyunkyung’s influence. Having grown up in difficult circumstances and learned things she shouldn’t have had to at such a young age, she wanted Sejin to remain innocent for as long as possible.9fa07a3df884fee7

The moment Sejin 53ca7573a0 was suddenly left dcf80c2351 to fend for 6572783a6c himself unprepared, Kim 252fc31832 Hyunkyung regretted her 235460885e approach more than 29fd3a45c7 words could say. She had forgotten that ffc3e371a2 she couldn’t be Sejin’s ae5a30b1d7 shield forever.c33397f1ba3a8138

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The thought 54e7c4c771 of her 4cce31d72f naive child f8b8fb08dd having to 064e0ead9e navigate life d763c55a14 on his e276fb46a8 own filled 317c9f1310 her with 6df06eab5d resentment and 84a407a05f despair. But then d22eca628c Cheon Sejoo 3345301594 appeared, and 56d57af87e he embraced bc01ab6176 Sejin, just 9e39239504 as she 29ab8e3338 had.cd4f7899d97e0937

Even if it was 17299b0192 because of his deceased 01a44a0c42 younger sister, Cheon Sejoo 80564628ba was their benefactor. Now, he was saving a7c24c0f4b not only Sejin’s life e5a18be5c8 but also her own, 1360c365a0 and that debt of ed29f5a9b3 gratitude was so deep 043d627e50 and profound that it c1cde2f16e felt like it could 2532274443 only be repaid in 9739a64f71 the afterlife. Kim Hyunkyung sat 5c36955e19 Sejin down and 678d7f6520 began to lecture 0ec46514fa him.fc8e0f92d30a91c9

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“Don’t be rude, 1941888362 and don’t get ad287bc82b annoyed no matter 3c2103d7be what Mr. Cheon says. If he asks you b6a3783c59 to do something, listen c0d45ba7b5 well. Study hard too! Got it? Behave like you 807e0130dc do with me.”f0f4bd50a9ffbaf9

“…I don’t get annoyed 04dde4e11a these days.”e4cc851950d586c1

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At her 9f6a6f1ee5 words, Sejin 7e3a8ef6cc pouted his 64dfc76a08 lips in 2badc5d6fa response. Seeing him b6e0c661b8 act no 009bce3147 differently than b790b58b20 when he 690416b696 was seven, 675a8d6269 complaining about c3db398cb0 not getting 882ca15f03 snacks at 0e4992d66c kindergarten, she 5274c8ea2c smiled, stroking 075fdd195b his soft 7615e1e836 hair.1f3114f969592eee

“Yes, good boy, 418526235c good boy.”36f79e6800b3c301

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Sejin lay down d824ab142d on the hospital 51b58a328f bed, cheek pressed c48586920e against the mattress. It had 097205a17a been a 91403c2ef4 long time 512678cb85 since he’d 1023100ea5 been caressed f182a24f05 by his 4a8773a92f mother. Basking in her touch, 7867c8f7b3 his thoughts drifted to 7642cba671 the man who occupied 39120ee2f7 his mind.bc3984d8b95ee481

All of this was thanks to Cheon Sejoo. If it weren’t for him, Sejin would still be wandering between shelters, agonizing over his mother’s condition. The same went for Kim Hyunkyung. If it weren’t for Cheon Sejoo’s help, she would undoubtedly be losing sleep and neglecting her meals, consumed with worry for Sejin.fde74f219fc33e9e

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What would have happened 7d1ae50968 if he hadn’t followed ddf7597123 Cheon Sejoo that day? Sejin recalled the 145899db43 man who had db470e7967 extended his hand c491e36d9f to him in 29d03405f5 the hallway.dccda9a068ff5724

‘Get up. You said 009567f2dc you wanted c11e507b40 to see 0b3576c199 your mom. Let’s go.’cc49a0df83216aec

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From that day until now, Cheon Sejoo remained impressive. Recalling the man’s face as he closed his eyes in front of him, Sejin bit his lip to suppress a smile.03ae81ad46b63a7c

He liked Cheon 6178c1dd4d Sejoo. He couldn’t handle 7cfcc15768 this unfamiliar feeling. The slowly 77e16decab rising tide c2b4bf3ef6 of emotion 04674fda22 had long a2494eab42 since overflowed, 2f1eabaa03 drenching Sejin. Overwhelmed by his feelings 355e2bdbab for Cheon Sejoo, he 252f5e239c couldn’t help but open 4aa57fd236 his mouth.f03d9f6265d2a159

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“I like Cheon Sejoo.”a7e5382ffc559825

At his 75a2597bf8 sudden confession, 3a51fe9094 Kim Hyunkyung 4052ef4b1b remained silent. With a faint 2c80423479 smile playing on d9eed1293e her lips, she f4a848070e tickled Sejin’s forehead b6b103b1f0 and just laughed, 3a5d95a386 then finally spoke bce2037d99 after a long 149cf50da6 while.0c1e9a50a491946c

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“Listen to Mr. Cheon. And call e4c5c50593 him ‘hyung¹’ sometimes.” a7b625201e8dd79c

At her nagging a59c649a91 words, Sejin stayed 805e4f8e2d silent, then sat 3d6a22ed38 up and looked d5c253a5eb at Kim Hyunkyung. Meeting her 31335a3849 gaze with 916b1d8adc a serious d6b6b79c61 expression, he bf436a59cd whispered again bd006feaa0 in a c02118890c low voice, 64f4ac9aff7e0f7f

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“I really like him.”4543ade36629ccaf

He wanted to tell her that this feeling wasn’t mere admiration. More than anything, Sejin wanted Kim Hyunkyung to acknowledge his feelings. If she did, he felt like it would make everything alright. He felt like he wouldn’t hate himself anymore for wanting to be loved by Cheon Sejoo even amidst his mother’s illness.c08d2ee9f99febb7

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And at his words, 2f84fa159d Kim Hyunkyung smiled gently b62d9a1b69 and nodded.5554e8219f5db5fa

“I know, Sejin. Mom knows.”fb7903b9691a49e0

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“…….”929c4c09b0b2ed39

As his 55583a2ebc mother smiled, bc9dd90bc9 meeting his 71940808fa eyes, as 4df8bba912 if she c066cbae29 understood his 6306545871 true intentions, 432441db8f Sejin couldn’t 0e2cec2c11 hide his b36683c54b flushed face afc664d36d and bit 49d576e28c his lip. His pale cheeks a5213e2b61 turned a peachy d1b2b0fb82 pink, and soon 45e9eca3d9 a shy smile 38c6998364 spread across his 80d6d73099 pretty face.f8970a9b6b2c8be8

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 c2cc174013cc0b61