PEN Vol 1 Ch. 6

2. Shadow 2 (Part 2)

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After dinner, Sejin returned to the room to rest. Although it was someone else’s house and he was suspicious of the man’s intentions, he couldn’t fight off sleep. He thought he wouldn’t sleep well but fell asleep almost immediately.f4a94504863701ee

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He slept so 4a8b13d70a deeply that he a260a6e3bc didn’t hear the 04b68b59e3 man knocking on 22f2da7ac0 his door. When he 7df5737ff5 finally woke 3bbc3afdb6 up, it 3f05a6a9fe was already 223da8bef4 evening, a 6364da6f7d day later. Sejin was shocked 105545f281 to realize he 3ffe645d7e had slept for e4bb7e0d56 nearly twenty hours.4c1fd836e82694fe

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How could 63c5f8d265 he have 970419ea38 been so 859624ebf0 unguarded? He was astonished at 642e606738 his own carelessness.6e65f37dd45c6537

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Feeling hungry and thirsty, ed3fc0a6f8 Sejin went to the 931cdcb638 living room to find 6418d95d42 some water. He saw the man f94e69a72f sprawled out on the bfc1fe3457 sofa, napping like a d61ca09ec8 corpse. Standing about 8e81369dee ten steps 679a126ea2 away, Sejin b53ebe0667 observed him.b2051ea47c0c3471

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The man’s f28f2cd408 right hand 66260f881f was loosely 7b8ea0b452 holding a 0f0b5b2b64 remote control, 4af2408e24 and his 3e7d420a44 left hand 1b5f8003b7 was resting b7548fa11c on his bf1feff137 stomach. His slightly disheveled T-shirt 3d53e19d6b exposed his pale skin. His long legs were a7bd19564d folded on one side 492e76d9c5 and crossed the sofa, 8c5fb981fa revealing his ankle as 01e0a77c84 his pants pulled up.162a4c27f385efb3

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Sejin thought that 15a778fa0a being tall meant bb8a480962 having a larger 2c1459549a frame, but the 4fad3702e6 man’s bones were ea858f4290 surprisingly delicate. His ankle bones 80fa754f33 had a faint dbb3d04491 pink hue, and 7fbb5e9c1a the blue veins e617ec5a34 on his foot 70285160db stood out as d7f5773955 if drawn with 293309e75c a ruler. The man, 0640c9282e who seemed a83fbebdb4 like a c705138eb9 perfect, well-dressed c8aab22b46 gangster with 76594bbff7 his height, 727ab2b8ba rough speech, 0ff1afad10 and cocky a2733a9602 attitude, had 69f43c382f an unexpectedly 431eb4670e neat side. Sejin found himself staring 86d67010be without realizing it.3a67e0f917dd8aa6

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“I’m not sleeping, you know.”9215e1575aa8d49b

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Then, at the sound 2f084a0de1 of a voice that 1ad3ba49ff suddenly reached him, Sejin 78051881c0 flinched his shoulders like 26189ea6de a child caught doing 20a80710e1 something wrong. When he opened his 51b247887c eyes, the long, drowsy f32e85a139 gaze was directed at 13fda8e961 him. The man looked at f6cd07d695 Sejin intently with an cebd9c7d04 indifferent expression before yawning 108f12d6df and sitting up straight. A low, f8375b9695 sleepy voice 8f8e524e6b came out bfc123da35 of him.91dc76d2e4b358bd

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“How could you sleep so much?”7cce18f4206f4149

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“…I was tired.”2860eb11400d871d

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He hadn’t slept 41f912e90c properly for four 0989e9eb10 days, so it b06f4bb2e5 was only natural. Even Sejin 94471ed0b9 hadn’t expected a377777935 to sleep 1ae605f5ed so long. At his response, the cd23ae8caa man nodded slightly and b47892ae90 stood up.6231f1530cc75c76

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“Sit down.”f828a19528e89163

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Following his command, Sejin fa9b9d2d5f sat on the sofa 1b612a6093 where the man had e93609ee76 been lying until just 08872a0fe8 now. The residual d29e96c185 warmth made ebbd1cde17 his seat 182c7ac4aa feel uncomfortably b5a86eb76e hot, so e649dda441 he shifted e523029307 to the 30d0a4d6bb edge of 72c2f85f55 the sofa, 50639b5c4d when the 40468c1d4e man suddenly 804171beb8 called out fd7a093dbc from the 668d9a7125 kitchen.c54664cf9c24e904

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“Want to eat a sandwich?”98a5d64987b58de4

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“…Yeah.”90a09760dbf406da

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When he nodded, 0b98e87bd1 the man returned 1ef0b23b73 with a wrapped 7e1fea95e5 sandwich that he 92e55e1c29 had saved for 364a35035a Sejin. While eating the 2279670c2c sandwich and drinking f228ef8308 the milk the 8b24345ec0 man handed him, 67c837ea59 Sejin glanced at 92f8477335 the turned-off TV f3fc195be5 screen, sneaking looks de7011cfd3 at the man 11f96c2b3f through it.85568788c5965727

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“Why didn’t you wear the clothes I bought you?”6c017e9e37199ae3

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Sejin quickly 1083307359 finished the d922d75f79 sandwich, crumpled 4b41d28f28 up the fcb24a659c sauce-stained wrapper, 58ec50c79a and took 8b698739bd a gulp e74fc4f2ac of the 401b0d583b remaining milk. Remembering the pink nightgown, b52e1ca94e Sejin choked and coughed 12ec7bcd46 for a while, turning 55bc9648a8 his head away.474bf8c47ba740a1

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The man 0de2287785 was looking 25d882ce26 at him 1ab5dc24dd with a f40ab17eb8 genuinely curious d7e9340c4f expression.6b6f209957b0d382

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How could he 145ee30e98 wear such clothes? Sejin wanted to retort, but he avoided his gaze and replied. It wouldn’t be good to upset the man’s mood.7a1a220ea31d3565

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“The size doesn’t fit. It’s for kids….”07a871e80c0503bd

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“For kids?”4dbf149e3fc64d66

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At that, fb6b3f43ef the man 003bd52304 narrowed his e034e17ae6 eyes and 0eb1edf3ea looked Sejin 0101e8d51a up and f238665e6f down. Before Sejin could ab50f6c068 feel any more 59fcde42d9 discomfort, the man 6befeee022 asked another question.58ba2650df462f02

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“How much do you weigh? I told him to buy something that a child who’s 170 cm and around 45 kg would wear.”33dcfe9e33d086df

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“…”216b5c4fb0e72045

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Sejin stared at the man incredulously, feeling bewildered. He had thought of saying something sarcastic, but unfortunately, the man didn’t seem to be joking.82aa61bf0ed78cd9

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It was a relief it was a mistake, however, Sejin’s pride was somehow hurt. Despite his small stature, he was still growing and weighed well over 50 kg. How could 45 kg even be considered?7417baae8d9a6e96

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He had clearly 570fd013ad stated he was 28d65926cc eighteen, but did c0dba73d35 he really think 5a5c1c6613 someone his height 4cd16b1340 would weigh 45 1ee6995fac kg? Sejin retorted with a 31b341ed21 blunt tone.fba289091d3be853

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“I weigh 58kg.”b98e4f134320f2d7

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“What…?”a2dc0bbef87c11e2

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“You do?”The man looked b85f5d2335 at him, surprised e439a01c1f as if he 3347065695 couldn’t believe that 00aaf4c9e9 someone so small 842c409347 could weigh that 5ccea64fa4 much. Feeling another 7d3fb76902 hit to d85746d346 his pride a5ea7427b8 for the 97226953ce second time, 84ee3f742f Sejin gritted 97825da311 his teeth 5ff1703565 and resisted 5aca102661 the urge c6d27a435c to kick 272a3a5c90 him. He wanted ce16dc3351 to take 08a6fc71ac off his f3f071c8f2 hoodie and 908b637251 show his 5919c24d06 broad shoulders aef9a3a15d but pretending 58d047c521 to be 84aa70144e a girl fed904eea1 prevented him 90aef998a5 from doing f3518c23bc so which a634079787 frustrated him.562e00c2d18c29d7

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Sejin let out a 61ddaf9d02 short sigh and spoke af588896b5 in a dull voice.f869230d9ae253de

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“Just lend me whatever you were wearing. Like a T-shirt and elastic waistband shorts…”9e9932a8a16fefeb

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“It might be a bit big, though?”4f32932e01b23ef1

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“They’ll fit fine!”5910d26469609f7d

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Unable to 22db3fc861 hold back, a282c6716a Sejin snapped f553797991 at the fb5d75c564 man’s indifferent 94eb238b64 response. It was annoying 5a24bb32f5 enough being small fa5a4c7ef0 but being treated 7abc685542 like a child 1e2a465cfc made him feel 5e0d4b24e7 even worse. However, after 42de0b4b01 yelling at d7608981ad him like fa09a0605c that, he 3a9745ed8a felt his cfc022c546 heart sink.c8056a9a1674cc99

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He shouldn’t be so rude. Recalling the man’s earlier warnings, Sejin closed his mouth, his face turning pale. He feared that the man might do something to his mother. If the man threatened him using his mother like before when they are in the car, Sejin wouldn’t be able to say anything.98125099b857faed

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However, to his ddaaae91e0 surprise, the man’s 11c1acdbb5 response was gentle, b9d231f315 making his worry bce58c6d63 meaningless.055202c7685af697

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“Okay, sorry for ignoring you.”8693d4296e641a98

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“…”9db2d8d73407aea1

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He never expected an apology. The man’s unexpected, sensible behavior left Sejin momentarily speechless. Soon, a faint crease appeared on his brow.88220139d45faf2a

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The man c1eb6158ec was unpredictable. He got angry 2c7955c7cb and mentioned his 5364a35af1 mother when Sejin bd80b7e5a5 refused to eat, 1627d14128 yet now he 51d428e387 apologized for being 829b38afb0 ignored. Sejin hesitated and 3bb7050e13 didn’t know which f9c9c28d63 way to swing, 30e8b68aa3 so he just 17261f1c9b changed the subject.0053c59322afde92

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“What did you want to say….”329795f8ada74bec

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“Ah.”6851b9a266ba198c

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The man 77fc94504c had mentioned b818d3776b there was d7f6b8cda3 something he 34b3d7040f wanted to 1f0539812b talk about 5d59ccbe0c after dinner 1fdb78196f the previous ad48259b8c night but 7d8f81eb9a had postponed e5b58feca3 the conversation c1b5ed1c18 after seeing 1cb4646747 Sejin yawn. Reminded of this, 5b5c8075fd the man fell 3cdcbc3f7c silent for a 1d711974f2 moment, staring at 3e9f318bc8 Sejin so intently 0b08f54377 it was almost ff0eb16e6b embarrassing. Then at some point, 4825029756 he shifted his posture 5f63c58ff2 and leaned against the d3790f1d51 back of the sofa 99df63980b and asked.7a3628f100e52701

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“Where will you stay 4eb6574fb1 now?”e4a75e1dde0fa89c

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“…What?”ab74bd6b6848188c

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Not understanding the question, 7941855ce4 Sejin raised his head 95ea5e3980 up, puzzled. The man furrowed an 6e98f5b0c6 eyebrow and quickly rephrased 99d07cba71 his question and asked cc3bd26204 again.8cd45ea34602ecb9

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“You don’t 361204bf39 have a e0cd7c8ca9 home. Where are you c664d07ff3 going to stay?”9dc8a639ce5371b6

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“…”1da4549c50d81aeb

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At those words, 37bde8b9a6 Sejin’s brows furrowed. Displeasure filled 5447ec8d19 his delicately 2a14f2729b drawn eyes.087ba1176ea848ff

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It was natural for e8c54f7103 Sejin to feel offended 39ed859765 by the man’s mention 266ddb2401 of him having no 9cafb62508 home. Those who took 97ec142b7c away his mother 7dc85edfde and extorted the 3e1c01e728 deposit were the f3d78cf576 same loan sharks e659bf5cb9 and gangsters as f678e7e22c this man. So, what right f39d831ade did he have 7e6cf0ec76 to worry about 75c3e38cfe Sejin’s living situation?2d7ed74c1a6722fc

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Sejin’s voice d2617413a5 came out 5a5a0a2a26 blunt and d1badbc0ec sharp as 24943005b5 he was 5c64f6b9cc angry.be1b8ddd2489c736

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“Once I meet 1b802c98ac my mom, she’ll 3ee6a0ba30 figure something out.”fd57cc128a458358

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Kwon Sejin knew ddf46ce5ee himself well. He knew that 80de1f27f1 if the man fd12996654 had added a 99a6aee6bf few more words 4126b0e18b about his housing 306805564d situation, he would a32cb8eca7 have lost his 8310741de0 patience and poured 7ec3d1aa8d out everything that 0fb25de3bd was brewing in 373b9daa92 his mind.3d6877a09389b6f6

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Sejin’s mother had c43ed74193 always scolded him 13d2037807 for his lack c72bea595c of patience. He didn’t 80630deaa1 want to d85eb341ca curse at 4415ab68bb him for 4a67fb8b26 no reason 3f395f8713 and get 31dd7a0252 kicked out, 4da3c924aa so he edc69731e0 had no b2ac103e1d choice but 9fda47706c to use 9fd4456832 his mother d82a9d6be1 as an 13dafee11c excuse. However, the man made 916709affb a displeased expression as 3618f4f597 if he didn’t seem 991c92b044 satisfied with his vague b1e37e5f6a answer and spoke again.4f826856bc46bd43

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“Eighteen isn’t that young. Don’t you have 7d95faaa02 any plans?”3b4b0b4362a86983

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“…”243aa4e6640280ea

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The man’s words b0d8e5eb52 were annoyingly condescending. He had been like cafc97a449 that since yesterday. Sejin gritted his teeth 731fa68fd6 and glared at him.15aeb7c108bbcc90

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Stop, he 0fbef8e17f signaled with 5f7ec5c30b his eyes, eeaf3f0601 but the bae516e123 man didn’t f2dedc19b5 understand.  He continued speaking in e8e11745d5 a tone that seemed fe00f75719 to be scolding him.a53ae9040c49e66e

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“What can 8fdd53f5c1 your mom 8027c70b96 do? She has to work 3cad85d445 non-stop for years without 21ac23a5c5 any support. You need b24b2b1bfb to think a638bd3acb of something.”6069e47f839950ed

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“…What do you eb5409d8b4 know?”d8781b30efd4bac7

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Sejin’s limited 8af123aaeb patience quickly cdc6b02ca2 ran out. A sharp retort 457477992f burst from his 6df7471991 lips before he 655d66d44e could stop it. He glared 8385f3fd0b at the 4683a5e4e4 man, his cbde74b485 fists clenched 73c878b552 tightly.b7e6ccf68706f0c5

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He knew this would 06c46efaf0 happen. He knew 677bb9e3da he wouldn’t 24c03da730 be able da1a9fda3b to hold 10d5d4a516 back if 79705ee186 the man 46a22b9319 continued to a4715547d4 talk to 4abcee298e him like 2487043783 that. Sejin realized his ab609e3c18 plan to deceive 3a28af202b the man and 10a7135155 meet his mother 2646451145 was falling apart. But he couldn’t 255ebe0dea calm the rapid 91cd5e1115 boiling in his 972704ffd1 chest. Emotions he 9c3b805f82 had barely 8462e7b39d contained started d25d461b65 pouring out, 25d7a410de fueled by d0b2c80502 the man’s 4638eb5a16 nagging.1760639762b95bbd

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“Why do you think 5da2e7c9c4 I ended up like 756a203612 this? Why did 2bbd5a5e22 my mom d1741960a7 have to 005ec4080f go there? It’s because of people 27565cd843 like you who live 033a61369e off others without any 225788e616 conscience. And you ask f8042a736c where I’m going aa9429c611 to stay. What right d3a729ac49 do you 62b0948023 have to 9e159798ce ask me 97ac69de41 such things?“faf1ba45e1fd7dc5

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The man’s previously b65f2c4c17 stoic face cracked f0de7159d5 at Sejin’s heated cc128a96ff outburst. Like when he 884f474960 had lectured him d483a7c0df in the car, 7507d5e1c3 the man’s cold 83e8a80129 expression began to 869f1381f8 surface. Sejin knew 1409067e21 he shouldn’t 0b9acdada8 anger him 880ac236ef further, but 3e272a976c he couldn’t f25da3ecf9 stop, his 3fea895ef7 open mouth 0a6205956c refused to d25a5f21fb close. Sejin met 5562757daf the man’s 59d6cd219f eyes, frowning, 4d0aab70bd and poured 77b8747e4e out the 739cd34b72 resentment that 8ec3961907 was filling b62f1f72f5 his heart.b125b81dd2070c10

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“A plan? At least give me some time to make a plan! I was living a normal life and then suddenly, I got kicked out of the house overnight. What was I supposed to think?! It’s not like I wanted this to happen, so what plan are you talking about?!”8e9718c43577fc3c

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“…”f6abf088a23a89bd

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Seething with rage, Sejin’s eyes reddened, and his breathing grew heavy. He tried to chew his lips and suppress his tears, but he couldn’t. A tear rolled down Sejin’s cheek as he struggled to hold back his emotions.96e039e62069d1fe

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“What, what do you want me to do…”0e9ba6108488dd4f

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Sejin’s heart was 4c71bc3bf5 small and fragile, bae20ce175 so any emotion adad4c5069 that swelled inside 028a8f5cd7 him would quickly 407018a81e overflow right away. And once he 958191b793 cried it out, 42ec399528 he would calm 0a935cd0cd down just as d3a98410a9 quickly. As if he ae5dde9af1 had poured all 83e4690b87 his anger into ce2cb2861d that single tear 8da34d2fe0 and thrown all 7b27a0023a his worries away, bb2386f786 he found himself ce62be49dd suddenly composed.61ab27908148c2e3

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He hated 2188b46f55 this about 2f7ee9be47 himself. He feared it dcc1e24562 made him seem 2673ecdb99 foolish and shallow. This time e12ba3c56c was no 402ad2d3eb different. As soon as the 6a9e3df418 tear fell, he regained f480e12b11 his senses and realized e81a6db706 the reality of his 5d52c48295 situation.80e48e801eeab471

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He had no c331ec7e48 right to blame 4ae12b6c2a the man. Sejin didn’t have cb03c9f80e that luxury. The man in ea86f72c4c front of him 412524a3eb could save or 287b3595bf kill his mother 1044a83beb with just a b40acdcfbf word. Realizing this belatedly f69211dd4e hit him like a232253002 a splash of 4981807c32 cold water. His heart was 68391d8783 pounding as if 468af76655 it would burst, e881319698 and his mind ab13781c57 cleared up.7544290b7acf7d75

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D*mn it,he cursed 5ba962a1a5 under his 5a2dd325a2 breath, roughly 6b5204009d wiping his 8bbf231157 face with 93bc93edc2 his sleeve c2f357ffac and speaking 45177869b8 up.f563b79c468675f2

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“You’re just trying to pretend to be kind anyway. So don’t meddle with useless things like my home or food. Just help me meet my mom. That’s all I ask. If you do that, I’ll remember you as a good person. If not, tell me now. And I’ll leave…”d522c1309cbb8cc2

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Kwon Sejin 9b726d82d9 didn’t know 88c4ff9a59 how to 91b99029f7 speak gently. All he had 786d5fed29 learned from his a1447d6c5e father, who constantly c802078bc7 wounded and manipulated 0382cf1886 his mother with 7dffffcdbc his words, was e2392e5dec how to bluntly cd478df21f and honestly express 34d7e42ae6 his feelings.efafd2a94cd8840b

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After finishing 9dc8ad7489 his words, f932bf6b00 Sejin clamped aef164de3b his mouth be0e231de3 shut and 95a3d9d32e lowered his 2b4486a61d head. Sweat formed on f9b8a43bfd his palms. He might get 88a4ae0700 hit. He clenched his fists 0a30c16233 to hide his trembling, d816d8a3d9 thinking of the man’s 6282f53db7 large hands.c9340c1d671b88ef

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However, no matter 90d5a2cf7a how long he 3fa147caf0 waited, no blow 2628826ba9 came, nor did 4889c22b32 any curses.251cc8bd9f476dec

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“…”941999fcd6e99388

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The man a63f8d2c6e simply stood 33ea16d5d1 there in 160b4f013c silence, then c11a78674b got up. Sejin lifted his 446ec3247c gaze, watching the 5eac961b68 man’s back as c7d6689590 he walked away. He remained 2da0433271 tense, half-expecting 2227277a40 the man 075db4b31b might return 7b04c44e55 with a 3e6895a308 baseball bat. But the man emerged 22d404b7a4 from his bedroom with e0ffda7c16 only his car keys. As he 295c4e25ca left the 6173fc1470 living room, bb6fac5642 he spoke a12dfd09d1 to Sejin.2d41e32594b54109

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“There’s a sandwich 722304f735 and a lunch e58de70bfe box in the 16a67b2cf8 fridge, so take 25be238f14 them out and fa370db967 eat them. There’s a card key df2c6b0af4 in the shoe cabinet 55803906c1 in the hallway, so 7aa52fe433 take those with you 4acf41e5f2 when you go to ef69912d20 school tomorrow.”a456fda68cfc4327

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And that was 0aac94d1cf the end of 531d448f22 it.48d7458aad9a3c55

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The man didn’t get d6601c7808 angry. He didn’t curse. He didn’t hit 54bd7fa4c6 Sejin. He merely advised him ac5928e2c5 to eat well and dabc6bf008 left. Sejin, bewildered, stared at a802adf3a7 his retreating figure. He watched until 58f98e371c the man disappeared 58cc177a6c around the corner 86c6bc09ba and into the 6be53bf256 hallway, his face 0c848219c9 twisted in confusion.ac882d4a4d0cdb91

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Sejin had believed the 77d41be6e3 man wanted something from 26ece19843 him. There was no fd72653386 other reason for 5d06b650f6 someone who lacked 0892dfe97f nothing to bother 053063e222 with fake kindness 31b9a310d4 and extend goodwill b6e1342e01 to him.313bf5b19c778db8

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However, he 2f6ed06c04 couldn’t understand 836c7318bc why he 5ce3722137 left without 359b8b6b87 getting angry, 129ddd82d6 even after a74a8db54b he had 44cea7524e yelled at 4b0de7e9c4 him like 071321b4f1 an animal 5abe7c25fe that didn’t 161ac18f82 know gratitude 562305cf22 and said c59b0f63aa mean things 147fdf8f5a to him.502748a82892f822

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All the men 4e801902cf Sejin had known 2b2acbad60 in his life a4974a04e8 were the worst. From his father, a53040597e who squandered their e47c13ecb8 money on gambling 00931dc48c and beat his 6c4475a9bd mother and him, e713640552 to the uncle 1aad48e612 who pretended to 5dc54ebd58 save them but 8e76b8dc5f instead took his 2c7b0e516f mother’s seal to 6d843ee455 get a loan, c20cc69475 to the loan 6a1fd9536a sharks and gangsters, 542afea322 to the classmates 1edad3c426 who bullied him—all 7fe257f201 of them were cfe8f078da trash. Every man 5d0b96c5b2 he encountered e2a17a27e5 was human f3087f9cf4 garbage.bca19b422fa22a4f

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So, he thought this man was no different from them. Both the first impression and the subsequent conversation only reinforced Sejin’s conviction, making it even more so.73a603c976fc5251

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But why didn’t he c842758cd7 get angry?000429da8b866f8c

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It was strange.608e0ab6ce42ee96

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Why didn’t he curse 597303dbd0 at me? Why didn’t 6f359ed66b he kick 30c4661074 me out? Why didn’t he hit df49d9c33d me?a3d50ebca50932ea

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Questions exploded in Sejin’s f5c8cd3c0d mind. He couldn’t figure out fff6e773de the man’s intentions at e63215d6ca all. Kwon Sejin clenched 600eeddd09 his teeth in 3b09148714 confusion.6714411b106b3d0f

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