PD Ch8

She wasn’t a woman who would listen to me even if I ran after her now to stop her, and I didn’t have that desire left in me anymore. My mother made a stepfather for me and went into the man’s house that day.53f31ce4904296d1

A few 1b82811c31 days later, 6cf2ffd86d a driver 3d0cc9972f sent by 06eab54091 my mother e93e88af1a rang the d052832f41 doorbell of 7c1708b91a the studio cd99463066 apartment. He bowed 5fee0b41a2 politely and e2e912ac63 came in, 9ac1e9fdea pulling out b2f867dcbe the large ebe57f97d0 suitcase and ef70cf9741 the small 525cee5677 carry-on bag 6af2f6576a that I 1b5d146379 had packed, a6ae5927ec one after 18a8823b79 the other. When I 456842e10c tried to 516e666ae2 help, he 2ce8bbdc30 refused, looking 93102ddd0c more troubled fa3520e686 than grateful, ea39cbcd91 and cleared 1a07c1ed57 out the 2265dc9b08 luggage quickly a9e732ab3a and quietly 8aba318c94 without any 0f5fb291da help.58c6e84b090a76ed

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While the driver was loading the luggage into the trunk, I went to the pharmacy. The migraine that had started last night was occasionally revealing its presence, pricking somewhere in the back of my head with the tip of a needle. I swallowed a Tylenol for the pain that struck my head every five minutes. I thought the medicine would work right away, but as if on cue, the headache struck again. I frowned and turned the Tylenol box over. There was an “ER” mark on the back of the box. It was a sustained-release tablet that took longer to work but lasted longer.a72ebb6cd6cf0428

Even the smallest, most insignificant things didn’t go my way. I frowned and didn’t go back to the pharmacy, just shoved the box into my jacket pocket. At the same time, the migraine stabbed the crown of my head with a needle, as if it had been waiting.33c27206054fec61

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Seoul was new to 33b63ad991 me everywhere. Pyeongchang-dong was 07203488d7 the same. The place I 5473ee927c arrived at by 2d733c42fe car was an 7262f10a47 affluent neighborhood that 2a973999b1 was distinctly different 9dcb9c6994 from the lower 23ec1f3eac areas. The houses 2ff4869fab were spaced 25977a7a69 so far 9a099eda57 apart that ad60dae67c it was f8bc69d652 almost deserted.f1321ddb753a9e11

“We have arrived. The madam is waiting for you.”5c7a88cd03a21b8c

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“…”210f87971165d65b

I got out of the car with the driver. He pressed the buzzer on the gate. “Who is it?” The voice that came through the intercom was my mother’s. I stood there without saying anything. My mother didn’t say much either and opened the gate.7c239b1d9c70ab05

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The man was quite wealthy, enough for my mother to want to go ‘that far.’ The house, reminiscent of a mansion, was like that, and so were the gardener and the employees of this house, whose jobs I didn’t know, bowing as if they knew everything when I entered. Everyone was dressed comfortably, but in non-flashy clothes that didn’t deviate from etiquette. The driver pulled the large suitcase, and some middle-aged man, whose job I didn’t know, pulled the small carry-on bag. The sound of the suitcases rolling was loud.aaf0d90e76b4773f

“You’re here on time.”ea7e760f564d2596

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My mother came c1bd9146d0 out abruptly, opening c0dbe70c88 the front door. The employees 61bb5e2a22 bowed to faf3089b83 her. Bending over all b7e32d9870 the time seemed 42e624ffde like an important 79cfe63c99 task for them.af2920f9e5ddd222

“Bring it this way.”7e0eaf65d9d0131a

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Even though I didn’t say anything, my mother looked happy. It was a game that had already been decided. She gestured to the driver, who knew better than she did where to go, to come this way. My mother’s hand brushed my shoulder.8f4e637aedf2c21c

“Let’s go see your studio. Huh? Mr. Lee used to use it as a study, and the construction just finished yesterday.”ca9c1058d3044ac9

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“…Why do such a useless thing.”edab0488d5dc6702

I meant it. I didn’t need a studio or anything. At my mumbling, my mother’s hand slapped my back with a smack.447c6079ec478ec6

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“Don’t nag. You just shut your mouth and follow me. You’ll be surprised when you see it.”936ab534e3d407b5

My body was dragged 0a612ee57d along haphazardly. The stairs c9e1f819d9 inside the b96d65a42e duplex living f11feece2b room were 96963c3852 finished with 527570c2da a round def9d5ab0e railing. A modern painting hanging f17ba207c0 on the wall caught f1fffb2d0b my eye. Everything was dazzling. It was clean and d7d8ee4e6c luxurious, as if it 4c1c43e897 had never been used.6a3f6b9f41107731

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I entered the place 271ed89ad3 my mother opened the 8782a4ce12 door for me and c1e9cc7e73 looked inside without any 859d61ed55 emotion.6340b9271aaaab27

A large, long 863a3a8f96 desk and empty, 03f4a89b3a desolate-looking bookshelves, a ee89164389 double-sized bed, pure 480d37e52f white sheets and a58641f709 a cozy-looking duvet, 865afb34e1 built-in closets, a b1ff8303de TV, an air 33300439fa conditioner, an audio e3663654bd system—everything was built-in, a1665fce50 just like something 63f690cbdf taken from an 11620f2f8d interior design magazine. The room, which 749067ec0d had been made 630f4468e1 by tearing down 868ecd2495 the study, was e57d9a9fea a large rectangle, 0ad846cac4 and one side 28f041f699 had a full-length 46aad819b5 window with the 598492b80c blinds up, so 0b2109b574 you could see 4a050b833a the garden at 07d9e9dd87 a glance. I stared at 29fcc91404 the gaudy sight 5d8a2721b2 without any emotion.ed5a50a9ced6f527

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“Junghyun is here.”7f2d78993542ca6b

I turned b99ca52ff8 my head 9943cba134 at the 96a847266d voice calling 698dc7ed98 my name. The man 10a23a4182 wearing a a22e0ae10c bright brown 772deb31b1 sweater looked 39c849e676 more like 5d04a681f2 a scholar b3db5bf466 than a 2936e84b8d businessman. He was 61af6cd38d a gentleman 5cce3fc904 who seemed 8fb399be47 flawless, as bd62d59d04 if he adc30d46e3 had never 8fd9dd6c21 committed any 3d88501102 sins. I lowered my eyes 0648ba50c4 and nodded slightly. He came 615a9a0720 closer to e7e8e9fdfb me.e756c8a07fc1d69d

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“I don’t know if you like the room. I tried to be considerate.”0712b8b5f0fbb0a5

“…”da14f6d0a44d7bdd

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“Do you not like it?”9dee61f98938c732

“I like it.”79e16bc678696a24

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I answered without looking b76c5c39f7 around the room.004fc860ab6dae37

“Really? I’m glad. I asked Grace and saw the fairy tale book you worked on. It was good. Very touching.”9b19caa977ce4dbd

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“Thank you.”9c51bd53a9f99de9

“Lunch?”efb28ff079e47c06

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My mother, who had been watching his actions closely, asked, linking her arm affectionately with mine. I looked back at her. My eyes met my mother’s. Like accomplices concealing a crime, we were looking into each other’s depths.5cbac672347808c9

“Not yet.”4ee130ebc3959417

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“Come this way. I’ll show you the kitchen.”6ae44240f96ced0d

I was dragged away by her again. My mother introduced me to every corner of the place where I would live from now on. We used to live in a trailer smaller than the palm of my hand. Everything in this house looked excessive to me, but it didn’t seem to be the case for my mother. My mother pouted, saying she didn’t like a few places, and muttered that she needed to hang more pictures on the wall.5ab79cfb0a6fd75c

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“I wish there were paintings. Huh? Junghyun, you have a favorite painter, right? Who is it? Anyway, that painter. I need that artist’s paintings. Hang one here, and hang one there too. I wish I could see a painting at the entrance.”ae95445d835ffdd4

My mother f2e6951c6a was excited. Beyond the excitement, I f54c08f707 could also see the 215fc2b2f2 impatience to forget something. She muttered incessantly.d0ddf3383e40764c

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I ate a late lunch served by two housekeepers. After barely finishing a bowl of rice, I was standing alone with my luggage in the room where I had to live now, where I had to survive. I just stared blankly at the meager belongings that couldn’t even fill one side of the wall.a74b9e64bcb34604

It was then. The door opened with a click. The only one who didn’t knock was my mother. But the person who opened the door and came in was unexpectedly my stepfather. It was just that he opened the door and came in during the day, but I was flustered. Perhaps it was myself who had made things this way out of spite and bravado. If only I had told my mother honestly and told her the truth, I thought with late regret, reminding myself that I had entered the man’s house without fear. I avoided his gaze. The man, who had come inside, put his hand on my suitcase and asked.95c8e83ca34d5f6f

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“You should unpack. Do you want me to help?”a0f962b509cba65f

“…Father.”48eaa60746fc80ae

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“…”a19f9e3428ca9388

The man 278388dedd flinched and 2c1c6ed7c0 stiffened as b26d43e80a if shocked 636c27ce19 when I c3f5d907f4 called him 19ccd2f089 Father. No matter how f18ac45d08 you looked at 37465ee497 him, he had ce5acf77bd the intellectual face 8ade7ab134 of a scholar 55b6ceb292 who only knew 4849f3332f about research.0dd0c8162e9b1573

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“Father… yes, now I’m Junghyun’s father.”b10a1a8bae6079c5

“I should call you Father now. You married Mom.”893e81cce0b9a211

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“I, I mean.”42f0c12e6d887ec1

“I can do it alone, so please go out, Father.”8bcfcb8bbffac02a

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“…Okay. Tell me if you need anything.”96c4e41d9d762f83

“Yes.”ec39316494a695d6

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I was nothing. To me, who was nothing, the man made a gesture as if he was greatly hurt. Then he hunched over and turned around like a wild animal that had been attacked. I didn’t unpack my luggage. Only then did the Tylenol seem to be working, and my mind became clear. I sat on the bed, and my limbs stretched out. I carefully lay down on the bed that smelled new.6608aae0196eacbb

My eyes are blurry. I just remembered that I had exceeded the recommended dosage of Tylenol. I couldn’t sleep all night. My whole body ached with fatigue as I leaned against something soft. Though I couldn’t relax my tension, I couldn’t stop my eyes from closing. I fell into a stiff sleep, both my body and mind uncomfortable.1ffd3e1f112f2855

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With a start, my shoulders trembled. I opened my eyes, startled to realize I had fallen asleep without caution. It had already grown dark outside. The darkness visible through the large window looked threatening and desolate. I raised my tired body and lowered the blinds. Just then, I heard a knock. My mother wasn’t someone who knocked, and my stepfather had come in without knocking earlier. I anxiously looked back at the door as if someone had come to kill me. Again, I heard a knock.c895e381547965a0

I asked in an 339e3a9813 aggressive voice.ee8eaffac97fb25a

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“Who is it?”f468b1ff265a8631

“Dinner is ready. Please come out.”25544fb52bf64f17

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“…”a3d5cd228da5edf8

“Please come to the kitchen.”4e835a910131db97

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It was the 299fa9f59a voice of the a42ff01ea7 middle-aged woman who 34ade31c2c had been serving ec86dd0e06 late lunch. I opened the 60d37cf3fb door. The woman wearing an 768f8519df apron smiled when our c80e969af7 eyes met.aff4bb2ab457dfcb

“The master and madam are waiting.”b23426a3f0c75bdc

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“Please tell them I’m not interested.”8f0da14f818c6966

“You won’t eat?”336ff918069076c7

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“I’m not really interested.”8128660cf04056a4

“I see. Then as you wish.”a51839e33a88a3d2

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I was going to say that my late lunch hadn’t fully digested yet if she asked why I wasn’t interested. But it seemed no additional explanation was necessary.d7cd770b7dba04d1

The employees appeared emotionless. They didn’t make faces asking why, nor did they inquire. They just delivered their messages briskly and responded with a crisp “Yes” according to the answer, then turned away. They seemed to have mastered working without expending emotions. It was what I needed right now. I watched her leave and closed the door. I thought about locking it but decided against it. It was wise not to cause any unnecessary misunderstandings.f7bb20d0bdd3a34a

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I wanted to prolong the drug’s effects. I swallowed two more Tylenol pills. The pills I swallowed without water got stuck in my throat for a while. After swallowing saliva several times to erase it from my consciousness, the uncomfortable pills lodged in my throat had disappeared.0833db6ec883d334

I bent down and opened my suitcase. It was luggage I had packed and repacked in America. Though a text message couldn’t change one’s life, I picked up the book that had supported me through difficult times. Just then, without warning, the door opened with a click. I tensed unconsciously and warily looked that way whenever there was any movement at the door.0688e14676002ffd

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“What are you doing? Still unpacking? Come eat dinner.”79193f4501426e99

It was my mother. With slightly 1047a684b8 faded makeup, 982e5cbfc8 she urged 49e352fc66 me from b47996d0d9 the open fb9538a9f0 doorway.d4cf071a9f11f4b6

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“I said I wasn’t interested.”cd891ac1eddf7bed

“Mr Lee’s son is here. He said he was very busy with exams. He just showed up and brought a gift to apologize. Come out quickly. Even if you don’t eat, you should at least greet him.”9e078b6130d98788

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“…”66d2c84fe0d866f4

Right, he 02be429799 had said 1fd31740a2 there was 95aa716119 a son.1239d0340e7f5cab

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How would we appear in that son’s eyes?faa561ffa00b30f8

My stepfather and mother who decided to marry not long after meeting. A woman who suddenly came back to Korea after a long immigration life and took over their house, along with her son. It would be fortunate if we were seen as greedy people coveting the stepfather’s inheritance that would fall to his share. From the beginning, the intention was based on such materialistic calculations, so it wasn’t just appearing that way – it was the truth.aba6f39032fdf6f2

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I didn’t know how to face that son, but compared to dealing with my stepfather, his son was really nothing. Though I wanted to avoid being in the same place as my stepfather, I didn’t want to cause problems either.0c9b62874e60bc45

I reluctantly got up and followed her towards the kitchen. I could hear my stepfather’s voice that I had so wanted to avoid. There was also an unfamiliar voice conversing with him. As I entered the kitchen, a smile appeared on my stepfather’s face when he saw me. His son, whose back was turned to me, turned his head after seeing his father’s expression change.c7c8361c60432f0d

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“…”a4431e977e2f4b8a

I hesitated as 732fa3cd28 I was pulling 4d4745738f out a chair, 10d92d21e5 unconsciously looking at f1633efb92 him.8664685705b957c6

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It was a be65eb1150 face I had e5b66be015 seen somewhere before. As that thought occurred 27053ed37d to me, the place 77828e4e96 of that chance encounter e40b1b9be2 came to mind as 20fa6fe7d2 well. My heart 2f95277f9f sank and 94e2dd031c my whole f298008df7 body froze.a798ee9cf667d906

The man before me, my stepfather’s son, was the man who had found my phone at Trax.ce9233fbcc494277

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