MM Ch 2 part 1

PR by neji

During the time when the new school year began, we moved into Professor Lee’s apartment. I expected that living as a new family of four would proceed awkwardly, but the transition was surprisingly smooth.

Although it wasn’t like we didn’t have money, my mother tended to spend frivolously and didn’t know what it meant to save. Therefore, I got the feeling that Professor Lee was a lot more financially well-off than my mother.

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We could see the Han River from the luxury apartment, and it took up a space of about eighty pyeong¹. When my mother hung a large framed picture of herself on the wall, she smiled as brightly as she did in the picture.

It was an extravagant and modern home. My mother suited this place as if she had lived here all along. I felt that my mother felt this was a reward for having her fortune ripped away by that pushover ex-husband of hers. When I saw her so happy, I felt relieved.

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This wide home benefitted me in another way. There were plenty of places to hide. My bedroom had a large window that allowed for plenty of sunlight. There was a large desk that looked like it belonged to a designer or architect, and there was also a wide bed on the other side of the room.

Lee Kyuwol’s room was located between my room and the bathroom. Our toothbrushes were on opposite sides of the mirror, but his toothbrush was always dry as if it was never used.

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As a representative swimming athlete for the nation of Korea, he was often out for training. Because he stayed at the athletes’ village in JinCheon to train for upcoming matches, he was usually away for one to two months at a time.

Because of this, before the summer break, I could count on two hands the number of times I’d seen his face. The cabinet in the corridor leading to the front door held countless gold medals and awards, but it only caught my eye for the first month or two after I started living here.

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But I wasn’t the only one who seemed fine going without seeing everyone’s faces on a regular basis.

My mother was a main star in a daily soap opera that spanned over three hundred episodes, but she received a supporting role in a project during the fall. It was only the role of someone’s parent, but she was to play a penniless restaurant owner. When she saw this, she went into hysterics, but she gradually returned to reality.

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For an actress, it was better to receive a role as someone’s grandmother than to be forgotten by the public. Once her manager told her this, she began to sing a different tune, claiming that this role was marvelous after all. She began to sift through the proposed outfits and looks sent by the stylist.

Filming began in the spring, and she grew very busy. My mother’s bedroom and dressing room was on the left side of the entrance, the complete opposite side of Lee Kyuwol’s room and mine. I’d only see her in the early mornings when her filming schedule overlapped with me leaving for school. She seemed very cheerful.

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When the sun was up, her husband was usually at the university where he taught. Although I didn’t memorize his schedule, he rarely came home early.

Whenever my mother was away for late-night filming, we were left alone in the house, but it wasn’t particularly uncomfortable. The place was large enough, so we never had to worry about the other. He also usually spent time alone in his study that was next to his bedroom.

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When I returned home from my tutoring classes, I’d go into my room to study. I’d sometimes get up to grab a glass of water. Whenever this happened, I’d hear the faint sound of classical music flowing out of his study from time to time. It was as if the soft melody of the cello was gently caressing the air. I felt that this kind of music suited his personality.

Whenever this happened, I wondered what the common denominator between him and my mother could be. However, no matter how many times I mulled over it, I couldn’t figure it out. In the end, I’d turn around and return to my room. It had nothing to do with me anyway.

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To be perfectly honest, I quite liked that I didn’t have to see my ‘family’ members on a regular basis. The face I saw most often was that of the housekeeper who came to the apartment four times a week to help out with the housework.

The only times the busy family would all get together was when Lee Kyuwol returned home, but they weren’t occasions I looked forward to.

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Whenever my mother heard that Lee Kyuwol would be coming home, she’d tell the housekeeper to order a variety of foods, and I’d have to reschedule my tutoring sessions for the sake of having a family dinner. That was enough of a reason to find all of this disagreeable and unpleasant.

“I heard that you just finished competing in an important match. What are you plans for this summer?”

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Professor Lee asked his son in his characteristically soft voice. Sometimes I wondered how he lectured a class with such a monotonous voice. It was the perfect voice to put a class full of students to sleep.

“Once my birthday passes, I plan on getting my driver’s license. You’ll buy me a car, right?”

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On the other hand, Lee Kyuwol’s firm, heavy voice sounded clear and precise to the ear even when he wasn’t raising his voice. With a body like that, does one’s voice also get stronger as the body grows to be more fit? I wondered in silence.

“Why do you need a car?”

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“Of course I need one, Father. A round trip from JinCheon takes over three hours.”

I could hardly believe that a very average, timid man like Professor Lee had produced a son like Lee Kyuwol. It was a complete mystery to me. I found it surprising that Professor Lee had some kind of passion that motivated him to go through with an international marriage with a woman who spoke a completely different language and came from an unfamiliar culture.

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“Omo, now that I think about it, it’ll be your birthday very soon, Athlete Lee Kyuwol.”

My mother, whose body was wrapped in an apron that had never been used, turned her eyes to the calendar. I could bet money that she had just realized that my birthday was last week. She looked at Lee Kyuwol, and her eyes gleamed.

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“Just get your driver’s license. I’ll pick out your first car.”

“There’s no need to go that far, Mother. All you have to do is get Father to open his wallet.”

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“Jeez, that’s completely up to Professor Lee. How can I meddle in something like that?”

“Because my father is especially weak when it comes to beautiful women.”

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Lee Kyuwol answered in a calm voice as he flashed a smile, laughing politely.

“…Lee Kyuwol.”

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Professor Lee must have felt embarrassed because he called out his name with a clear voice. My mother giggled pleasantly at his side.

This right here was what I hated. Lee Kyuwol acting as if the four of us as a family was the most natural thing in the world.

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“Is there anything in your studies that is giving you a hard time?”

I had been quietly moving my chopsticks when Professor Lee suddenly asked a question. My hand froze. I was the only one in this house who studied, so he was probably talking to me.

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Once Lee Kyuwol graduated the athletic high school he was currently attending, he’d probably become some large brand’s ambassador and receive various sponsorships to support his career as an athlete. Universities would probably accept him with open arms, but for Lee Kyuwol, an already accomplished athlete, he’d probably be more comfortable focusing on competing.

His future was set, but when I compared mine to his, my only option was to get accepted into a university.

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“…No, it’s fine.”

I forced the rice down my throat and answered in a strained voice.

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“And your tutors are adequate?”

“Yes, they’re good.”

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“If there’s anything that’s too difficult, you can ask me for help anytime.  I know quite a few entrance exam specialists, so there’s no need to stress out by yourself.”

One of the first things Professor Lee did after marrying my mother was check my grades and hire some of the best tutors in Gangnam for me. This was something neither my parents nor family members ever considered to do for me. Thanks to this, my grades went up exponentially, and I even got the best score in the mock exams.

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If everything proceeded well from here, there was a high chance that I’d be able to cross the threshold of my top pick for university. I thought about this for a moment before replying back to Professor Lee.

“Thank you for your thoughtful consideration.”

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“She doesn’t have incredible athletic abilities like Athlete Kyuwol, nor does she have an outstanding face or body, so all she can do is focus on her studies. Our Dayoung.”

My mom’s eyes crinkled as she pierced my weak spot. Nothing she said was incorrect. I remained silent and focused on cutting my undercooked asparagus into thirds.

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“But isn’t she outstanding?”

Lee Kyuwol, who had brought his cup of juice up to his lips to take a sip, lowered his arm. I felt it brush against my right arm. This was why I avoided sitting on his left, but he had already been sitting in his seat when I arrived, so I had no choice tonight.

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He was wearing a white t-shirt, so his bare skin grazed along my arm that was exposed under the hem of my summer uniform. Even though it wasn’t even wintertime, a shiver ran down my spine.

I flinched and frowned in shock as I turned to him. Lee Kyuwol’s gleaming gray eyes met mine.

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Because I had been avoiding meeting his eyes, it had been a long time. He had a smile on his face as usual.

Our awkwardly shared gaze came to a quick end. After putting down my knife, I stabbed my fork into the long asparagus and brought it to my mouth as I began to chew it.

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“Hmm? Who? Our Dayoung? Doesn’t every school have a student like her? Isn’t that right, Professor Lee?”

“Dayoung’s grades are certainly outstanding.”

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“Ah, that’s not what I meant.”

My nerves were still on edge from the minor collision with Lee Kyuwol, so their words went in one ear and out the other.

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After that fateful summer day in my junior year of high school, when my mother caught me and her ex-husband on the sofa and I was treated like an animal thereafter, I began to avoid men to an abnormal degree. It was so bad that I shamefully had to reject my math tutor’s hand that he had offered as he said, ‘Let’s do our best from here on out.’

“Hm? Then what did you mean?”

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I would never forgive my mother’s dirty look as she stared at me as if I were a disgusting girl who was trying to steal her man. I focused on chewing the food in my mouth. Next to me, Lee Kyuwol placed his cup of juice down on the table and began to stretch as if he were in the middle of a yawn.

“She’s pretty, our Dayoung.”

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When I heard ‘our’ come out of his mouth, I could only frown. Lee Kyuwol’s voice sounded relaxed as he repeated the way my mother called me out of habit. However, no matter how much I thought about it, Lee Kyuwol and I did not have a relationship where we could call each other ‘our’ anything.

After the dinner when we first met, we had never shared a proper conversation.

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“But completely different from the way you are, Mother. I don’t think she’ll have any trouble finding a boyfriend.”

He laughed as he murmured.

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“Quite the opposite, I think.”

He propped his left arm on the back of my chair, and his hand grazed over my back, almost touching it. This behavior was too strange to be called an accident, but it was too natural to be deemed intentional.

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“Omo, Dayoung is?”

My mother laughed as her voice lilted up towards the end. I could tell how she truly felt from her short reply.

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Unfortunately, my looks were a far cry from hers. My presence was insignificant. The more people were around me, the smaller I became. Those who approached me would end up distancing themselves once they saw the darkness within me that I could not hide.

Unlike my mother, I did not know how to smile and light up a room. Even if I stayed still and did nothing, I did not have any charisma that drew people in.

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“It’ll get better once you’re older and start using makeup. How is it that you didn’t take after me at all?”

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I hoped that my mother wouldn’t continue to make note of my tacky looks with her disappointed voice. I wanted Lee Kyuwol to shut his mouth.

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“Yes, she looks like a doll. She doesn’t have any expression on her face, but she has a cool beauty about her. I feel like she will blink and look at you if you poke her.”

He tapped the back of my chair with his long index finger. I could feel the vibrations on my back. The nape of my neck grew warm.

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I bit the inside of my cheek and leaned forward so that my back no longer touched the chair. I turned my head and glared at him.

What are you doing right now?

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“Don’t you think so?”

Lee Kyuwol ignored my silent warning and merely met my gaze as he laughed.

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“…You shouldn’t joke about something the listener will not find funny.”

I felt that the only normal person in this house was Professor Lee. My mother mentioned an antique doll from a classic horror movie and compared it to ‘Our Dayoung’ as she snickered.

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Surprisingly, I saw that Lee Kyuwol didn’t say a word about my mother’s joke. For a while after that, the only sounds coming from the table were the sounds of people finishing their food. I stared at the salmon on my plate and wished that I could disappear and leave this uncomfortable table.

“Dayoung, I’m sorry to bother, but can you hand me a napkin?”

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Lee Kyuwol asked for a favor, but it sounded like a command. I didn’t care either way. I pulled out three thin tissues from the dispenser next to me and held it up to him without looking at him.

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“Here.”

“Thanks.”

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Lee Kyuwol answered in a bright voice and took the tissue from my hand.

Crackle. An electric shock came from his fingertips.

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He deliberately held my finger and stroked it. Then he gazed at my scowling face and grinned at me. That’s when I knew this was not purely an accident.

“…What are you doing?”

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My strained voice burst out of my lips before I could think.

“What’s wrong?”

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He asked so naturally, and his face looked so despicable. In no time, the thin tissue was in his hand, and he was wiping his mouth with it. When I saw his languid movements, my mouth ran dry, and my heart began to race as goosebumps formed on my skin. Even though I couldn’t see his mouth, I felt like I knew what kind of expression he was making right now.

“What’s wrong? Do you feel unwell?”

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I was sure Lee Kyuwol was mocking me because I always reacted like an idiot whenever we physically touched. He was teasing me. I glared back at him and whispered back to him.

“Don’t touch me.”

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“Hm?”

I wanted to smack that innocent look off his face. I bit my lower lip and spit out each word in a clear voice.

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“Keep. Your hands. Off. Me.”

Sitting across from me, my mother raised her voice as her eyes widened.

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“Omo, what are you saying right now? Please understand, Athlete Kyuwol. She’s usually quiet, but she’ll have outbursts like this from time to time, flustering everyone around her.”

“Not at all. I must have made a mistake.”

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I felt my forehead grow warm as blood rushed up my neck to my cheeks. A terrible feeling began to bubble deep inside like lava.

Jerk.

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I swallowed the curse that threatened to leave my lips and stood up even though I hadn’t finished my meal. The heavy dining chair scraped loudly along the wooden floor.

“Jung Dayoung. What do you think you’re doing?”

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My mother looked up at me in disbelief. She was doing her best to keep her voice steady, but she was glaring at me.

Even though I was the only one standing at the table, I did not have the courage to look my mother in the eye. It was a reflex and a habit that had formed because of the way I always walked on eggshells around her.

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“I asked you. What do you think you’re doing?”

I could hear annoyance in her voice. I picked up my plate and lowered my head to my chest. My black hair spilled over my face. I hid my unsightly, red face and mumbled in a soft voice.

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“…I have an exam tomorrow, so…”

“My goodness. Do you think you’re the only high school senior in the world? Is it some kind of government post? No manners at all…”

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Professor Lee quietly grabbed her mother’s arm. I gulped before speaking up.

“…Thank you for the meal. I’ll take my leave first. I’m sorry.”

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“I really don’t know why she’s like this.”

“Hurry back to your room and study.”

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Professor Lee spoke up instead of my mother. As if she were satisfied by my deflated tone of voice, my mother changed the subject.

“Professor Lee, would you like some more wine? Would Athlete Kyuwol also like a glass? It’s a bit late, but think of it as a way to celebrate winning a medal at the Presidential Swimming Championship.”

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“No, I’m fine.”

“Don’t be like that. You’re supposed to learn how to drink liquor from the adults.”

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“I’ve just been hearing some talk going around. We might suddenly get tested at random, too.”

I threw the half-eaten salmon into the sink as the conversation continued behind me. It was as if my sudden outburst a moment ago hadn’t even happened.

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“Is it because of that Chinese athlete’s doping incident?”

“Probably.”

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“But how can they doubt innocent athletes as well? Is this a body that can be achieved with a mere shot? Our Athlete Kyuwol was born with this marvelous physique…”

I silently cleaned my plate and turned my back on my mother who had changed the subject to the doping scandal that had shaken the sports world. I hurried back to my room. After the incident with the gym trainer, my mother deemed all athletes to be ignorant fools. However, there was no doubt that she had done a quick thirty minute search online for the sake of this dinner with Lee Kyuwol.

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Click.

I closed the door. Even though there was a wall between me and the three of them, I still did not feel any better. My mother felt more like a stranger than the other two strangers that I was to call ‘family’, and I wasn’t sure if my poor mood was due to my disappointment in her, my anger towards the mysterious Lee Kyuwol, or a sense of shame at the way I reacted when Lee Kyuwol and I physically touched. I wasn’t sure which of the three was the reason.

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I let out a deep breath before sitting down at my desk. My hands were not gentle as I flipped through a textbook. My heart didn’t seem like it was going to slow down anytime soon. The faint sound of my mother’s piercing, shrill laugh continued to taunt my ears.

I pulled out a pair of earplugs from my desk drawer and crammed them into my ears. I gripped my mechanical pencil in my hand. The words would not enter my head and seemed to spin in front of my eyes. This time, I couldn’t focus because I could still clearly feel the way Lee Kyuwol’s arm had brushed against the back of mine. 

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His fingers almost grazed along my back as they tapped against the back of my chair. He had slightly held my hand as he took the tissue from my grasp. In that single moment, I felt his warmth, and it caused my throat to run dry.

“Haa…”

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While those thoughts were running through my head, I refused to acknowledge the slight tingle of sexual desire coming from between my legs. To be completely honest, the reason for my over-the-top reaction was exactly this. When our hands touched, my throat had run dry just like now, and my lower abdomen twinged. I felt my heart racing inside my chest.

In the past, when my mother’s lovers passed through, I had long lost the ability to have sexual dreams and fantasies of the opposite gender.

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Of course, just because I was repulsed by men did not mean I did not have any sexual desires. However, all of the subjects in my sexual fantasies were imaginary.

They were usually fictional characters from the classical romance novels I’d read or those that I had seen on the television screen. Some were foreign pop stars who had already died. In other words, they never revolved around living, breathing boys of my age who walked in front of my very eyes.

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But to think that it was Lee Kyuwol of all people…

I blamed it on the fact that it was merely one of the symptoms that seemed to flare up before I had my period. I brushed it off and opened my reference book and began to write furiously next to my dense notes.

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‘Lee Kyuwol. Fuck. Son of a bitch. That jerk.’ Once I wrote these words on the edge of the page, I recalled what Lee Kyuwol had said during dinner. My face suddenly grew warm, and I covered my cheeks with both hands. The warmth traveled from my cheeks to my palms.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. My heart showed no signs of slowing down. I slapped my cheeks with my hands before burying my face into my reference book.

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