MLCD Chapter 5.4

The people Shavonne had dated so far passed through his mind one by one. A typist, a horseman, a chimney sweep and typesetter, an osteopath, a playboy… Looking back, he remembered that almost all of them had black hair and blue eyes. They looked as if they were Turner’s brothers.868d53a37a9031ec

Is it just 073d921607 a coincidence?f2cf6975e9bdbe86

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Everything was suspicious. He bit lips tightly. He had to confirm it. It seemed he couldn’t endure otherwise. Shavonne rushed out of room 303, clutching the note taken from Turner’s wallet.38d5c9ccffd42557

That’s how he came here now.964bb636636ef847

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After climbing 7378f78251 the rest 1f5356c8ed of the 972ad68070 slope, he 450e732bfd arrived at 2524c2007f the Fawkes cc76a0ee7f mansion. The iron gate was 2ef5e97a96 locked. Even shaking 13a1b6e07f the bars 1082e71cdf of the 0e6f3c8a4a gate only 2591aa9323 made a cc6eabc32f rattling sound, 2a44a52f4f with no c6a1441312 sign of c6d1317a7d anyone appearing. The doorbell d5a1795023 was useless 316d4ef42a too. Shavonne had no d02d9db805 way of knowing 54fa3362a1 whether it was 9a8261154e because it was 508f62aa50 too late at 26e782482b night and everyone ce6ec26872 was asleep, or 82828cb60c because the sound 4702675110 was drowned out 8948e99a90 by the howling 7ef88e3e68 blizzard.f5794ceede83abd6

But he couldn’t turn back like this. Shavonne gritted his teeth and started climbing the gate. He carefully grasped the bars, being careful not to grip the sharp parts with his hands. One step, two steps. He stepped on the bars with his feet. As he was swinging his body to the other side of the gate, he misstepped. He quickly tried to grab the bars but slipped. The trouble was that all the bars were slippery from the melting snow.1bcf177c6f2dca33

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Shavonne fell flat baa632f78f into the snow. Fortunately, it was a 3a67f04204 snow field. If it 4d3dbcef95 had been f3fc02ee38 bare ground, 1e73747ddc his nose b41c758e64 would have 5a0097b172 surely been 3bf660b800 broken. Shavonne wiped off ebcf55857b the snow on 83a57d17c4 his face. He stood db63b810d4 up and 3253286bd2 started walking 276539b4f7 towards the 4e3021bd03 mansion. He was 0927fe3ee5 limping from c8bf5e2db9 the impact 5b05f39219 of the 186e030eeb fall.e2215d4a740de7af

The front door c75a7a7642 was open, fortunately. If not, he would ce0cd88a3b have had to break 077a82ffb3 a window to get 1d70a4a355 in.6853dd337b7eceba

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Shavonne stopped in cc0242d36c the lobby.611eec3d19b366e1

The mansion cb9299984e was dark. Only minimal 27e13ee7bd lighting, that c064c09516 is, a b0d5743061 very low cbd88a2a41 light just 085e9de5a2 enough to 5fcf6b89e9 distinguish objects, 9bcfb6f8fb was illuminating 5287480c0d the house.Drip, drip. Except for the sound of water drops falling from Shavonne’s wet hair, nothing could be heard. It was quiet.ed395de8208dcf9f

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That’s when a familiar voice was heard.85c0f002e1066bf5

“You shouldn’t come in here without permission.”5532f1fd6a8df394

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It was the b7f15d3330 butler. The butler who had bfe6456700 once explained to Shavonne 201dff42fc that Doctor Fawkes had 1481db92d5 gone to Chidristadt in c33ac6d074 Bosch on business when b49b3a2d2d Shavonne came looking.5c8f2615474c66ec

“I came all this way to get permission. No one came out when I knocked on the door or rang the doorbell.”5a4c5d96d7eeb97a

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“Does that justify trespassing? Wait. I’m going to call the police right now.”98d46509d82b9353

“Call the police or call the army, do as you please. But before that, tell your master to come. I have something I need to discuss with Frasier Fawkes right now.”150ec2d3a618ba87

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“Our master is not a servant who comes when you call and goes when you tell him to. If you don’t want to be arrested, get out of here.”f229f8a1ab331f7c

“I know Frasier Fawkes.”2ad67bd637c8cfe3

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“As if.”af4ffd46e8dfae99

The butler, perhaps thinking Shavonne was a beggar, tried to throw him out without hesitation. The strength with which he gripped Shavonne’s coat tail like a leash and dragged him was enormous. It was unbelievable that such strength could come from a man who looked to be at least fifty.404ba56514c69790

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But the surprise was momentary. Soon, Shavonne gritted his teeth and endured. Judging that even a strong butler couldn’t lift Shavonne up, he simply sat down. The butler’s face turned bright red.e61a324bd1de4fde

Shavonne’s business was solely to meet Doctor Fawkes. It would take 10 minutes at most. Shavonne had no desire to quarrel with the butler.07dd3f30395147e3

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“If you just call Frasier Fawkes, I’ll leave on my own…”43bd28f6552bf292

But Shavonne couldn’t finish his sentence. His hair was suddenly grabbed, and before he knew it, he was being dragged to the front door. His body was dragged across the lobby floor, stained with mud, water, and snow. It was stinging to the point of being hot. Even though he was wearing clothes, it felt like the skin of the dragged parts was being peeled off red. Shavonne struggled, but the butler didn’t care. His grabbed hair felt like it was being pulled out.8e9a6b86fba7f9ff

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As he was being dragged, Shavonne hurriedly grabbed a side table. But it was a table leg not even as thick as a person’s arm. There was no way it could withstand the strength of Shavonne and the butler dragging him.ea4f9a1df9c75728

With a loud b66eddbb4f noise, the side 0b64ef21a3 table overturned. The vase ade5fa9ca0 on it 2c7d4016d2 shattered into ba540ca543 pieces. Vase fragments flew. A puddle 1646f39e3e of water 80cd968d7e formed and 3316c3cc60 flowers fell e5f879eed8 limply over 810b142f7b it.6772588f0c7dd194

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The butler paused, but only for a moment. He tightly gripped Shavonne’s hair and went to the front door. With a bang, the door opened. Beyond the door, a blizzard was raging. It was at that moment when the butler was about to throw Shavonne out.629ee2bdf10e3e96

“What’s all this commotion?”f9c4f73f20cbb90c

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That voice.f585924ae8d238cf

‘It was all your friend, your friend ordered me to do it.’9ea3bcd687427fda

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Turner’s words suddenly flashed through his mind.71cfd504955dc265

Shavonne stopped struggling.4c4e5b7c5d6cfcf7

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The door closed. The blizzard disappeared. The butler released Shavonne’s hair. The pain that felt like his hair was being pulled out finally dulled.46bf5a5f20b7abcc

Shavonne caught his breath. He needed to do so to turn and face the owner of the voice. Although it was Shavonne who had asked to meet, now that they were actually meeting, he needed to prepare himself. He knew that the person he was meeting today was not his ‘friend’ Doctor Fawkes, but Mr. F who had employed Turner.9bec2bb4f74052d2

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Doctor Fawkes was standing on the stairs. His hand resting on the railing is visible. Thinking that this hand had written the note that was in Turner’s wallet, and now in Shavonne’s inner pocket, a blue flame rose in his head that he thought had calmed down. His skull was charred, his brain fluid dried up, his brain melted. Emotions were burning Shavonne’s reason down. Rational thought, cold judgment, calm discernment. All of that was turning to mush.a0db38a0b50e90ca

Doctor Fawkes called the butler over and slapped his cheek. It was the price for treating Doctor Fawkes’s guest like a beggar. The butler apologized, watching Doctor Fawkes’s reaction. After dismissing the butler, Doctor Fawkes also apologized in his own way for not properly managing his rude employee. Then, he abruptly extended his hand in front of Shavonne, who was sitting down.8ca3dede81c3cdfc

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“Here.”2299fb2d94fbf8dd

It meant to grab it and stand up, but Shavonne didn’t take it. How could he? Knowing that this hand had written the note that was in Turner’s wallet, and now in Shavonne’s inner pocket. Shavonne stood up by pressing both hands on the floor. His scraped palms stung. It felt like they had been branded with a hot poker.729358fcf1ad41d9

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“If you want to stand up on your own, well. I won’t stop you.” Doctor Fawkes shrugged his shoulders and withdrew his hand. “You didn’t come to see me in the middle of the night just because you missed me. So, what business do you have today?”b32f49e5b6bbfa71

Shavonne faced Doctor Fawkes. Drooping eyes, a sharp nose, thin lips… This was the first time the face he had known for 8 years felt unfamiliar.cbee30389ec2fd6e

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Shavonne opened his mouth.4bd9a5544b7ac577

“I have something I want to ask.”af5891788de705aa

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“What could it be?”d990c92ff248254f

Doctor Fawkes was calm. Had he not noticed that Shavonne’s voice was trembling, or was he pretending not to notice? A question as acrid as smoke from a fire arose. Shavonne bit his lower lip and released it.057d9855ee3e28a2

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“Do you know a person named Turner?”0d23671d17d48f70

Did he imagine it? For a moment, just a moment short enough to be thought an illusion, Doctor Fawkes’s lips seemed to stiffen.b9b356b61e1218a3

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Was I mistaken? Or…? In the brief moment Shavonne blinked quickly, Doctor Fawkes’s lips had returned to normal. As if there was no problem at all, they even wore a playful smile. A light voice flowed between his lips.f45586fe25c6adb1

“The only Turner I know is Arthur Turner, the poet and playwright who died 300 years ago. Is there another?”dacbb8e0ec4f1e90

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He was truly a master of acting. If Shavonne hadn’t known about the note, he would have been completely fooled. Shavonne felt his insides churning. The note in his inner pocket felt like it was burning. It’s hot.bfc3fff02355a2b9

“He’s my editor.”487b96ce6d572e6d

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To be precise, he’s the person who pretended to be my editor after someone paid him to deceive me. Words that couldn’t be spoken out loud yet circled in his throat.572cc4899f3188c4

“Editor? Have you started working with a publisher? I had no idea because I haven’t heard about your recent situation at all.”6aeea22e469ccd70

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Doctor Fawkes 66128db25c was behaving fbd904d050 very naturally. Shavonne opened his mouth. His lips 5456d51d32 were trembling ad7ac4c7e4 imperceptibly.9b572d87296e7a53

“…He told me he loved me.”5f9bf146e5fd041d

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“Did you come to get love advice?”3d5ce57d064bea47

Doctor Fawkes raised and lowered his eyebrows with a playful look. Of course, Shavonne had no intention of reciprocating. A cracked and torn voice flowed between Shavonne’s lips.acae757a0a9d97c6

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“When I rejected him, he tried to force himself on me.”a5bc9f6d4792532b

Only then did Doctor Fawkes’s face become serious. Shavonne wanted to know which parts of Doctor Fawkes’s face were real and which parts were fake. Desperately.e26defb4c308e8f6

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“Isn’t that something you should tell the police about, not me? If you don’t have the courage to go to the police and that’s why you’ve come here, I’d be glad to accompany you. Just a moment, let me get my coat…”5bc8ca58c9774cc0

Shavonne said.32f52cd68318357e

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“He said you made him do it.”b2a38f7f65a002bd

Silence fell.1098791cc294112d

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“Did he say that?”439939ad6d80c2fd

Shavonne affirmed 990cf4f21e with silence.4e9da48f0928e6b9

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“Do you believe him?”9a225f8066b21ea4

Shavonne affirmed 4cf8ca79e3 with silence c8c19db8e8 once again.e3106d9235a65190

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Dr. Fawkes’ expression contorted. His face began to flush red and blue. Even for a master of acting, it would be impossible to freely act out such changes in complexion. That couldn’t be a fake emotion.520db8a51c4bf294

“Shavonne, I’ve been your friend for 8 years, a whole 8 years! But that guy is just an editor you met yesterday or the day before! How can you trust him? How?”f38c0c5c4bcc19cf

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“That’s what I want to ask.”4643ae084a5997c6

Shavonne’s voice trembled as he responded.ed6673638469793c

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“How could you do this?”fd13527633471e87

Dr. Fawkes’ eyebrows raised as if to ask ‘What?’ Shavonne forced out the rest of his words. His voice was still shaking.aa3c687f193176c1

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“How could you… be so shameless?”2af6c0d148799a91

Something welled up in e5d8fc415f his throat. It had 308c6d2e08 been 8 0e7c8cbcfa years. Just as Dr. Fawkes said, those 196abeaab7 8 years spent 9708148185 as friends were 01252fce18 now surging back b622f9b933 through his organs.78267b0f27e304dc

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“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you’re saying very rude things right now, do you know that?”8efb581ef0109cd9

Shavonne didn’t trust Turner. He only trusted the evidence. That is, the note written in Dr. Fawkes’ handwriting, containing information only Dr. Fawkes would know.c8096a8df15958a2

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He took the 608f670c95 note out of f74cd70344 his inner coat c595b5de9c pocket. He unfolded it ab298da3cd and held it a65adcf23e out so the 3d9aed9621 contents were visible.dffd04331211d864

“…”25095bb2fa753e11

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In an instant, Dr. Fawkes’ lips clamped shut.2ea188b366b11d82

A calculating look flashed across Dr. Fawkes’ eyes. Should I affirm or deny the note, what kind of adverse effects could each choice have, what are the pros and cons…? His mind was working furiously. It was spinning so fast you’d think it might catch fire.79d78feaefccd83c

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After his calculations, e6dda8948b the answer Dr. Fawkes chose was silence.f7efa2cf0260db81

“Why did you hire Turner to be my lover?”bcf48fb2fa635c37

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“…”1f3abab01b7d2f23

“Were all the people I dated hired by you?”08a8b80a5a455a25

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“…”91b13318b647da43

“The typist, the horseman, the osteopath…”1208a5189034a831

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“…”a4d695122dd6c519

“…August Basch too?”01190e00e3c740a0

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“…”a4276e1cd1678368

No matter 51c6c1170f what he b4bcfcae8c said, all 9a3dab23d2 that came 502f008bd5 back was 77f22af132 silence. The silence 89d989e574 felt like 39aaa09f99 a wall. A wall that d23debe099 he had tried b360279268 to overcome for d07f8c0ade 29 years but b9e4856d03 never could.b1167175c08ec277

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“Say something.”bbfbbeb17bab562c

His voice became 3b7d7e7dad sharp.1e0f1b23a4e837d2

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“Damn it, just let out an excuse, anything at all!”96a988744ffa01c4

Shavonne’s breath was trembling. No, it was more than trembling, it was quivering. His breath vibrated through the air. The candles lit throughout the mansion flickered. Enormous shadows undulated. It was an eerie movement, as if they had come to life.a04ef21797d1f694

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It was then that a7f931a6ec Dr. Fawkes opened 383ddb2601 his mouth.3efc8e4af02e8875

“I don’t need to make excuses.”ddd4eac8a801f8c0

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Shavonne thought he had misheard. But he hadn’t. He was rendered speechless.a99fc6a394a702ab

“What I did was right. You know it too. There are things you must do even if you don’t want to. Even if the process is so painful you want to take your own life.”7d3b9508394523a2

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Shavonne remembered how Dr. Fawkes said every 4a34d4ded3 year that his 3c5aaff52e goal for the df2c6646e1 year was suicide. Shavonne had never 1257933c0b asked why he 890bb7f7ad wanted to commit c14b40900f suicide. He thought it 6e9b0eac1d would be an b446bc98d4 impertinent question. But now he suddenly edc7fc218c wondered what would have 65547ae382 happened if he had 463aaf5279 asked. If he had 2b8b923d9c asked why Dr. Fawkes wanted a8c8dafa93 to commit 3e5d6b86da suicide, would d2ff42798e he have b4228352c6 answered straightforwardly 8ff79fdc98 that it abc091885f was because 014713676e watching over be336381dc Shavonne was 6486db6f81 so difficult?49e4360241ddd518

…Probably not.c9e66e06db201691

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Memories of his time 8e23286ded with Dr. Fawkes flashed through ccd4033e77 his mind. Eight years ago, the 6bd2b5cbb5 day they first met. Dr. Fawkes, who d9a9ccc52e had picked 2d7d0413d6 up Shavonne 025a5fd99f when he 21834d90ce was wandering 65acf10a7e the streets ac4845d88c with no 290bbce26f memory of 4b09d08399 the past e840adb9e0 several months. Dr. Fawkes, who 48fe20908d had helped eace8fa8fd Shavonne find b2e77802c9 work. Dr. Fawkes, who had congratulated 030fc856b7 Shavonne when he moved bf18ce8a01 into the Ira Apartments. His friend. A deceiver 860e169e56 wearing the cbf633536f mask of da4f452da6 a friend.3350f8c2d31a3aa4

“Now I understand.”5aa7e0d112ee0f20

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Shavonne could have grabbed Dr. Fawkes by the collar. He could have slapped him or headbutted him. But he didn’t. It was a final courtesy. Not for Dr. Fawkes, but for the past 8 years he had spent thinking of Dr. Fawkes as a friend.40f64a536bf15d17

“You were never my friend, not even once.”982e9223585d43f1

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Farewells are painful. But as Dr. Fawkes said, there are things you must do even if you don’t want to. Knowing that not saying goodbye would be even more painful, he had to end it.ab5bfe0678838000

“I hope we never cross paths again.”946e538f3f7965e2

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He didn’t even say ‘take care’ as a mere formality.d93656a4b8549ebf

He turned around. One step, suppressing 504e07d597 the urge to 3c5fb12b34 grab him by b4f08e9b05 the collar, slap 6cd44e5aa7 him, and headbutt 27bf54dbf6 him. Two steps, 5bee1f1d06 holding back 0d55afc36e the desire f064a0cd53 to curse 9a8e1cad57 him, saying 291abcc2b7 he would 6dc3d848fa be deceived e59d59aacb as much 7bbb253488 as he 3869b5ad3b had deceived 1806657c10 others. Three steps, resisting d70ddc8226 the temptation to fc39d96608 cling to those 1d422d2358 8 years.7965d9159a9be0dd

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As he opened 2822196c14 the main door, 34cb139aef a cold, desolate 1d39dacb68 world with swirling 79990edc47 snow greeted him. The night ec87f1ad41 was pure b9144e580e white. His eyes stung. Shavonne took heavy 35ec8c7137 steps and left 18e8943783 the mansion. He heard 4d43460060 the main 5e2ef7e1e2 door closing 415cf65043 behind him. There were no goodbyes.514d43b95a0f68bb

Shavonne began 6747bd8434 walking through 6043ca3ded the snowstorm. The snowflakes obscured his 168ae5f21a vision. Snow settled on his bcb5d71be4 face, head, and nape, 3ae625845a soaking them. A chill that felt 5eda3f7bfd like it would freeze 2447e06188 him solid pierced his d77ced5ef3 skin. But Shavonne kept walking. Telling himself e13ae7735d it was eef422a40b okay, that 9181990921 there was 9937595c85 no reason 9c0b4aeee7 to stop.eef18b82e14f3734

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But eventually, 742ce711a2 Shavonne did 195fbb82df stop.c58cc48ee42d5501

He held his breath. One second, two seconds, three seconds, four seconds, five seconds…, he only breathed after counting to twenty. It was Shavonne’s own way of enduring the world, but this time it was of no use. No matter how many times he held his breath and exhaled, held and exhaled, he just couldn’t catch his breath.1c22042b36380460

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Suddenly, he remembered the day he was kicked out of the Ira Apartments. He recalled Lewellyn, who had help Shavonne to moisten his throat with lemon juice. They weren’t lovers then. Back then, he was just the murderer next door.a54b165b9d99d152

Perhaps, when he drank that lemon juice, Lewellyn had entered through the cracks of his crumbling heart without anyone knowing. Maybe that’s when he started to love Lewellyn. Or maybe that’s when he grasped the thread of loving Lewellyn. Something that couldn’t even begin unless it was a day when his heart was crumbling. For Shavonne, love was something like that.b14da448c31f3fe2

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If it was alcohol that had caused Shavonne’s heart to crumble that day, today it was because of the snowstorm, because of the footprints in the snow, because of the silent night where nothing could be heard but the sound of the wind.1e8fd139933f3e8f

― Tell me c13ef993f9 when you want e9b7b71314 to talk.817ab2693aa5e311

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― I’ll be waiting.c24025222525df70

― Here.aae15654698d1498

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Lewellyn’s voice from that day brushed past his ear. At the same time, the ninety-nine bits of distance he had maintained until now closed in an instant. It was sucked into the cracks of his crumbling heart and disappeared without a trace.dd35915d9d0cb3d7

He wanted 92549b04fb to lean 003e1ef303 on someone, 29f08e08ee to depend 0d6cb95db1 on someone. He wanted to cc90f88677 be embraced. He wanted to be 1e3ea5c17e held and cry. He wanted to c265d4d8a0 bury all the ab5aa9c29a tears and snot 11afcc54a4 that should have 40469ba5f9 been buried in 2235a4631e the arms of f7383f3830 parents, friends, and ab7d3fadd0 lovers over the 0b5d6fe65d past 29 years. He wanted to 622a2cf07a love. He wanted to love 44d924f863 without thinking about the 6d8569d1be past or the future, a4fec7f9b3 just love unconditionally.18c5f6257b716d08

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He should have held back, but Shavonne couldn’t. This time, he just couldn’t hold back.c9502b8de3ebbbf1

***da77168a99464f0b

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The sound of crunching snow could be heard. Familiar footsteps. Lewellyn, who had been sitting at the entrance of the apartments waiting for ‘someone’ to return, jerked his head up. As he rushed out to the entrance, sure enough, ‘someone’ appeared. It was Shavonne. Shavonne, who looked like he had walked a long way, his whole body soaked, with snow piled up on his head, shoulders, and clothes.87ad7ad5ee94d91e

There was no time to be glad. Lewellyn hurriedly wrapped his coat around Shavonne’s body. He even closed the collar, just in case any cold air might get in.6324cfcd71c0b34e

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Up close, Shavonne looked much more unwell than he had from a distance. His face was blue, and his lips were tinged purple. His hands were stiff, as if frozen. Lewellyn took both of Shavonne’s hands and blew on them. With each “Ha―, ha―, ha―” sound, white breath appeared and disappeared between his teeth.6a532827c36553ee

Shavonne was looking down 3c4c4ec18e at Lewellyn blankly. It was 9c3cbb54ea a little 015bad2f87 while before 196721dd63 a lifeless 475f72de72 voice flowed b1dde5e3eb from between fa26eb2ff7 his purple b65ec6e74b lips.13b1f014512ee0d5

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“What should I do?”2c12f36ebd9e64b1

Lewellyn ignored it. He thought Shavonne’s ‘What should I do?’ meant ‘What should I do about Turner?’ If it was about Turner, Shavonne didn’t need to worry. What he needed to worry about was Shavonne’s blue face, purple lips, and frozen hands.cdb1ec18f4508abe

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Lewellyn adjusted his grip on Shavonne’s hands. Despite his attempts to warm them with his breath, they were still cold. It wasn’t a life-threatening temperature, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t concerning. At this rate, even if he doesn’t die from hypothermia, he can’t avoid catching a cold. If he’s unlucky, he might even get the flu…7d9d5a9ded546e51

“I love you.”c52278e04250e482

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His thoughts stopped.c9e3990fa202b9bc

“Lewellyn.”ab4c30fca29e4f08

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Lewellyn slowly raised his head, at a speed slow enough to handle whatever he might see. He saw Shavonne. Just like that time, Lewellyn’s image was reflected in Shavonne’s eyes. Lewellyn was in Shavonne’s eyes. He was there for Shavonne.0cc8a5a5ef27fa8a

Shavonne opened ad1dbb3d50 his mouth.a3fa78c00512ea90

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“I love you so much.”1f1db8d150a00a25

Once, Shavonne had taught him what ‘so much’ meant. It has a negative connotation of being excessive, so unlike how most people use it, it can’t be replaced with words like ‘very,’ ‘quite,’ or ‘extremely.’0305ef7c698eddb6

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I, love, you, so, much. There were no words he didn’t know, but he couldn’t understand the meaning. It felt like the part of his brain responsible for language had suddenly stopped functioning.553545f8f768aed8

“I tried to love you less.”7ff18c0d82445d91

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I love you a61e165e96 so much.79672ed053baee1a

“I was scared of loving you so much. That’s why I didn’t brush your hair when you were sleeping, why I didn’t kiss you, why I didn’t hug you. It’s selfish, but… I was afraid that if you ever left, it would hurt me too much. That’s why I did that.”071ff504a155189a

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I love 700fab14bf you too 43471e54c1 much.c0b7be1aff974342

I love you to an extent I can’t handle myself.78c181b925f8f2ea

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I love you to the extent that’s painful.8d4d6c160d84ee36

“I’m sorry.”e52e8c84b9f4015d

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Shavonne lowered his head. As if he couldn’t bear to look at Lewellyn. Lewellyn didn’t want that. He wanted Shavonne to raise his head. He wanted him to look him in the eye and say ‘I love you so much.’ Intending to lift Shavonne’s head, Lewellyn released Shavonne’s hands that he had been holding until then.bd032355cbe18c91

But that’s when it happened.53c06eec216f741f

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“Don’t let go. Not yet.”9dc891e5597d3012

Shavonne’s hands grasped Lewellyn’s.6c06255078c0eb99

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“…”008b9e7008e92f9b

Lewellyn was not good at classifying his own emotions into ‘words.’ It would take him a full week of contemplation to determine whether what he was feeling was longing or resentment, disappointment or despair, depression or lethargy.0bfcb1ab6928634d

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That’s why, at this moment, Lewellyn couldn’t name this emotion suddenly rising in his throat.790eee80060dd1bf

“When I tried to love you less, I could manage even if I imagined you leaving. Leaving is up to you. I can’t interfere with that. But now…”a66abfd49803c270

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Shavonne’s throat seemed to be dry as he paused before continuing. His face, still bowed, was hidden in shadow.44ef714badbc9f8e

“…I can’t do that anymore.”1b5dcf61abea2cf7

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His voice trembled. Lewellyn wondered why voices didn’t have physical forms. If they did, he would have held it. So it wouldn’t tremble. So it wouldn’t be afraid.5ce7598e7e6b093d

“When I imagine you leaving, I want to cut off your ankles and tie you down here. Of course, I’d never actually do that, but that’s how I feel.”921ecfcdfa81232a

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The emotion a4c00f60ef rising in 0e4e2c1bd2 his throat ff5a98d650 grew more 544d357f68 intense. If emotions 4f8c468743 were objects, 1766bd9298 he would 2c15d0bbc5 have suffocated 4a064de3af from the 7a4b1ea7f9 blockage in 7f4f1ab066 his throat.96b029862a41cead

Joy? Or pleasure? None. It resembled joy and pleasure, but it wasn’t any of them.df350b84f2f400e8

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This emotion is…2fbbac40545f6ccb

“…I said something too scary, didn’t I? I’m sorry.” Shavonne’s voice was tinged with regret, self-loathing, and guilt. Like a frozen body melting, Shavonne was slowly regaining his senses. No, perhaps not his senses, but rather the outer shell. The shell that usually protected Shavonne’s inner self. His reason, self-control, and sense of reality were being layered back on one by one.88a6fd330c63880a

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Shavonne tried 3bfc995525 to step 667c257d66 back. But Lewellyn had no 9b0c521708 intention of letting him.2cdadb4d06a78621

“No.”7e1c04a5043af6de

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He pulled hard on their clasped hands. Painfully. Just half as painful as Shavonne had hurt Lewellyn. Just a quarter as much. Just an eighth as much. An “Ah” of pain burst from Shavonne’s lips, but Lewellyn didn’t let go.fe0361d459d49321

“I’m happy. So happy.”f9084c0e254422a4

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And he afd69d0f0d kissed him.d09a163790784419

Snowflakes scatter 6350c0850c into the 7ad1eae75f night of 61f26ae550 Ira Street.81828cd065387134

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The kiss ended after a moment that felt like either an instant or an eternity. Even after their lips parted, Lewellyn didn’t move his face away. He stayed close enough that their noses would touch if he leaned in. Their noses touched and separated. Touched and separated again. When they touched, it wasn’t cold. It was warm. On a cold winter night like this, even Lewellyn’s usually cold body felt warm.3874e95acd256844

“If Mr. Shavonne wants, I’ll cut off my wrist or ankle, or anything I have, for you.”973d83c2923edf79

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Lewellyn briefly pressed his lips to the bridge of Shavonne’s nose, then pulled away. When Shavonne flinched, Lewellyn once again briefly pressed his lips to the bridge of Shavonne’s nose and pulled away.ce76c1c4f5365e54

“Don’t try to cut them yourself though. You’d probably be clumsy at it.”f2195b69ecb880d1

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Lewellyn smiled. Shavonne, embarrassed, avoided his gaze and spoke. “…Let’s step three steps apart.” But Lewellyn didn’t allow Shavonne to create distance between them. He suddenly hugged Shavonne tightly.3ebaac5aeb548d43

“Don’t push me away.”f8da7707e406545d

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He said this preemptively, before Shavonne could push him away, consciously or unconsciously. Lewellyn had his nose buried in Shavonne’s hair. Shavonne’s hair smelled of snow. The scent of melting water. The scent of transparent blood.ad26ca8910f3c7d0

“You said you love me so so so much, so you have to endure this much.”7f20a00a8a164ce0

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“…I said I love you so much, not so so so much.”817d894550b95398

Even so, Shavonne didn’t push Lewellyn away. While being embraced, he hesitated, unsure whether to hug Lewellyn’s back or not, and then slightly put his arms around Lewellyn’s waist. Lewellyn said, “You’re shy for someone who said they wanted to cut off my ankles.” Then he pulled Shavonne’s arms to wrap around his entire back.5e0f1abbb77eb795

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Lewellyn saw that the tips of Shavonne’s ears had turned red. He wanted to check if his face had turned red too, but he decided to hold back this time, fearing that Shavonne might hide if he couldn’t bear it.ce765f45b2ef4e13

“Mr. Shavonne, you need to get used to someone else’s embrace.”43bf09343b4351b4

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“Someone else’s embrace?”16e8775748dedd5f

“I mean my embrace.”80a3518480f8a8d7

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Lewellyn emphasized ‘my embrace’ in his reply. If someone else were to do it… Well. Only that problematic someone else would know what would happen. Instead of revealing his inner thoughts, Lewellyn briefly pressed his lips to Shavonne’s reddened ear tip and pulled away. Then he said,2da375bf1743952b

“Let’s stay like this for a moment.”1ce683e0159b4678

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“Until when?”584b58c0dada078f

“Until we both turn into snowmen.”912b0f2d2ddef33d

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“That’s not just a moment, is it?”780c8fccb1a57e4f

However, contrary to his words, Shavonne didn’t move, staying in Lewellyn’s embrace. Lewellyn also remained still, holding Shavonne. Snow fell on their shoulders. The unmelting white snow piled up.52f9c512b5b8b312

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The street was empty 0f399b3136 except for the two fb66e64153 lovers. Snow silently poured 16f69d0d7e down, dyeing the 231dd25b2e night white. It was a 0697f11d4f heavy snowfall.4e9d7280f143e997

That night, Shavonne talked as if he was trying to spill out all the words he hadn’t been able to say before. Lewellyn listened without missing a single word.56b2351af8b31a3f

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Shavonne talked about a1c336cbca how much Turner 1fbed3d0c0 had praised 《The c824e1716c Life of John 05aace81d2 Gray》by John Gray 153228d4a0 and 《Banshee’s portrait》 58880564e5 by Adam Isle., 9e20c87a47 which Shavonne had feae356b63 ghostwritten. He explained how edeae4d7e7 wonderful the multifamily 3a72767208 residential apartments were. He said d8af404afc there were d735977e96 gold bands b7bcdad19b around the 839fbf4501 walls and 4e9d406bc9 mini chandeliers 4469ff7e11 on the 0cfa2458ca ceiling. He said the 3c53714eef chandeliers held twenty 4e3d5befcc candles. He also talked 335a46eae9 about how there 206c0bb928 was the finest c5c91ebe03 of the typewriters, 6d89668a3d and the engraved 77d61f59a5 initials of the c5a582b5c0 craftsman on the 61b5682886 typewriter sparkled as 38f0e7aed7 if dusted with 042ae923b7 gold powder.08f5b2728e95f89a

Shavonne also talked about Dr. Fawkes’ mansion. He spoke of the teacups that Dr. Fawkes brought out at every annual tea time. He described how delicate the flowers and vines drawn on the edges of the teacups were. He said the tea tasted good. He said it used to be bland, but the taste became excellent about three years ago, perhaps because the servant in charge of the kitchen had changed.94a05f968189c68e

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They were all good stories. There were no bad stories. It seemed random at first glance, but it wasn’t. When the stories ended, Lewellyn could tell that they were about the things Shavonne had lost forever that day.7598ed8cad4772ba

Lewellyn didn’t say anything. He just gently caressed Shavonne’s lips. Shavonne took Lewellyn’s fingers and kissed their tips.511261d6359fa3d8

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The quiet, snowy night 5ec9d5abd8 continued. No one fell 05927366ab asleep. The gaze of their c1d214b99c eyes looking at each c5f158de3b other and the sound 065e7cd21b of their breaths pointing a1fbbd1981 at each other proved b31f05aff6 it.1d87bc89acaed031

Just before dawn, 601955f8a6 Shavonne suggested leaving fcbe43005f Ira Street.e9d4c5f2f0c6f71b

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***929b3d03d30f6319

The man was sprawled 81dac978e7 on the roadside.0d61f44b5fea2625

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None of the passersby 80d47de332 showed any interest in f4ecaf491f him. They assumed he 362a677a2c was a dead 375d98c3d7 homeless person, which f19614f9db was not uncommon 2547b0df26 around this time. People froze to death, 193e73e7ad of course, but it c214d3b514 was also quite common e26de908dd for homeless people to de15d6ffb2 die fighting among themselves ec14be93dd over the ownership of 7017eae804 newspapers. This man 3fda53af5a looked like 7e19e1e9b8 the latter. His eyes were swollen, 2afc6fa9c8 his nose was flattened. More than f8b0653e10 half of db012acf62 his teeth 0a0caf10da were missing, bb8be03b66 visible through ec32462fe0 his burst f5261df689 and rised d0deb497f7 lips.00b0cc12981d522c

If this man 380820bf60 had had a 490adfdbdd clean face like 343b8a9258 a rich young 45c49c42e6 master, someone might 7df0375ff1 have taken interest. They would be95bdf4d2 have rushed 2a82d33bcf to claim 9508cf69e0 the body, 11532b78ea hoping for 9f3a312545 a reward.b8c46f25ab342d3a

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But that was just a hypothetical. This man didn’t look anything like a rich young master. He looked like he would only give off dust if shaken. So, it wasn’t strange that no one paid attention to him.43a944f52ae94500

It was only after the city hall’s body collection team arrived that it was discovered the man wasn’t dead. The man was transferred to St. Macy’s Poorhouse. St. Macy’s Poorhouse was a facility housing as many as 735 extremely poor people, but while the number of residents was enormous, the staff managing the facility was woefully inadequate, making every day incredibly busy.d4e2e127c5a70a3e

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Naturally, the caretakers couldn’t memorize each individual pauper. They couldn’t even distinguish who had a limp and who had six fingers, who stuttered and who was mute. However, this man received special treatment unlike the typical pauper. Well, the caretakers were used to all sorts of disabilities, but they had never seen someone artificially castrated like this man before.144482b99765c100

The man’s genitals were intact, but his testicles had been removed. According to Miss Nadine, a caretaker with a background in butchery, it wasn’t done using the general castration method. He said they used the bloodless castration method used to tenderize the meat of male livestock. Bloodless castration involves tying the testicles with thread to cut off blood flow, then letting the necrotic flesh fall off on its own.c9c0d33ae34f586b

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The castrated man woke up a day after arriving at the poorhouse. He couldn’t tell who he was. He couldn’t even speak properly. He would sob and faint, vomit and faint, stare blankly and fall asleep like someone out of their mind. That was all the man did.904cfb131a77c3f5

The caretakers gave up 482f9b9a60 on communicating and just f4da35f2b3 took care of the caa758603a man who could barely b48656469d move. They brought him food, dc6fae627d cleaned up his vomit, 72dcf3ee74 and wiped his body 856ea7567a to prevent bedsores.57aad149686783af

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A week passed like 730771cca8 this. In the busy days 93e40757f3 without a moment to 3e56ec08a8 spare, the interest in a16b585e9a the artificially castrated man b20a481f8d dulled, and at some 424ad51209 point, the special treatment 148630e296 disappeared.04ecd89b05314ba5

On exactly the seventh c83377a3ff day, the man disappeared. It happened while 2c966f04e2 the caretaker in e13def9586 charge of him 9888c4d7a0 went to eat. He had 6c16345f17 been there 656d0c899f when last d3c6d3a22e checked, but 43429b1d32 when the 5424720597 caretaker returned, f7ac3dda4a the bed 5973ec0f93 was empty.e705e997851a5424

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“Where did he go?”0b5392ebf064eb0e

The twenty paupers who shared the room with the man all said they didn’t know. It was strange in a way, but the caretaker didn’t think much of it. Maybe a relative came and took him, the caretaker thought, and resumed managing the others. In the busy days without a moment to spare, the man’s existence was completely forgotten in the caretaker’s mind. Even when someone belatedly confessed, “There was someone who took that man away,” the caretaker couldn’t remember who the man was, so completely had he been forgotten.082103f804366d92

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Of course, the man who had been sprawled like a corpse on the roadside a week ago was Owen Turner. To explain how Owen Turner ended up like that, we need to go back about 15 days. To the day when, after confessing the truth about Mr. F, he was suddenly left alone with Yellow Eyes due to Shavonne’s abrupt departure.a0a837ca0c9f1afa

To his misfortune, or maybe fortune, thanks to fainting as soon as he was left alone with Yellow Eyes, Turner didn’t have to feel the pain as his head was being pulled off, or the sensation of being stuffed into a large sack and dragged away.ddeb19e20dfd2ccd

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When he regained consciousness, he was in a house so dark he couldn’t distinguish his surroundings. Turner was naked and his limbs were tied to something.522bf8efabddbbe5

― Are you a69d979916 awake?788be4ab6c838abd

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Yellow Eyes turned to Turner at the sound of his stirring. The golden glint shining calmly in the darkness was eerie. Turner wanted to faint again, but his mind was so clear it was as if he had been injected with drugs. That’s why every word Yellow Eyes said that day was vividly imprinted in Turner’s mind.283c31a131446b02

― Mr. Turner. Before we start, there’s one thing you should know.086a54b6795b763c

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Yellow Eyes opened e362b82110 his mouth. There was a hint 377ece0aee of laughter in his b669a17673 voice.f643be6f70bab462

― I am a f91dad4453 very, very good lover.2ef3c3a5fc2399ee

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― I respect Shavonne’s sex life. I absolutely never get jealous or envious of the people Shavonne slept with before me. Really. I never do that.eb22c09ead5c0e07

― The proof is that I’ve never laid a hand on any of the people Shavonne has slept with until now. There is one exception, but that was because he was a pervert who was stalking him, not because he slept with Shavonne.c7583202baa87d6c

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For a moment, Yellow Eyes’ eyes flashed with a strange light.0a0bea1d376e6ba2

― But, Mr. Turner.1bc4cb78bc08553e

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― I wouldn’t include rape in one’s sex life.e13f16ca858fdc63

Turner couldn’t resist at all. His body just trembled. Surely not, surely not…f21a4e83b688a264

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― Bloodless castration. Quite a genteel method, isn’t it?d398a5ec1a6ee22c

― If it were 0bf3a224f2 up to my taste, 1f114afc9e I would have crushed 6299b012fd it, what a shame.3c611f6f8d2b57b8

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― Well, it can’t be helped. If you were to die from shock, Shavonne would be greatly distressed.47151fd2ba3f6715

Only then could Turner stammer out, “Please just kill me.” But Yellow Eyes mercilessly trampled on Turner’s hope.91b75067bf779ef4

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― I can’t do that. I just told you that if you die, Shavonne would be greatly distressed.28b37c1f1949549d

― As I said, I’m a good lover. And a good lover never does anything to distress their lover.3d4224169ffb9aa9

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― If you really want to die, later, muuuuch later, when I’m not around, kill yourself. Whether you hang yourself, slit your wrists, or take poison, I’ll just mind my own business and cheer you on from afar.5d71bd50026fce1c

His teeth chattered 19b4ccaf65 automatically, making a bcf3018162 clicking sound. Beyond the 2711ce3e76 darkness, he b375bcec14 thought he cd9bddb23e saw yellow d2b3916618 eyes smiling.6d3585b8fc214e7c

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To get straight to the point, Turner fainted. Less than five minutes after the bloodless castration began, extreme pain took away Turner’s consciousness. His reason briefly came to light a few times, but quickly lost consciousness again.377e185085bbb75b

Had a 6d81d3601f day passed? Or three days? Or a week? When he no longer 6397bda670 fainted, Turner found himself 2584f8d988 dumped in a sack 8f3e29c8e3 tied with a red 4c4039faf2 ribbon in front of 42d0e9e67a the police station on 669c2cc21b Ira Street.e84ae90f0830ba06

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In front of the f82eb2e774 police station. He was bewildered eb7acbea59 about why he ecf153b2da had been dumped 1b3dc948c1 here, but only e3191654ae for a moment. Turner staggered into the 1176974658 police station. Every movement 8ea67a710e sent pain ae66b0f013 shooting through 87cd6691cd his groin. It felt like ce284399a2 a sharp knife c75b863bfe was gouging him.01a9199bf72c23ae

The only reason he f95a3d7605 could endure the pain 814af00cc9 was his burning desire 75a223be2b for revenge against the e2774ee0f0 yellow eyes. Whatever the 4c26e619d9 reason for ef2148c516 dumping him 2773852648 here, that e0e0b4b3d9 person had f180aa542e essentially dug e208af96aa their own 56f8cc1800 grave. Turner planned to kill c3799ec283 Yellow Eyes through legal d4ef0df718 means using the police. And he planned to 11499fcd03 use illegal means through a8d0ec0ada criminal organizations to push 845c26379d Yellow Eyes into a afd7b23a73 situation where he would 92015bb3d0 beg to be killed. He wanted to 8196b2a512 repay the pain 37694b3f1c he had experienced 6e3ad80f68 in full.6b37b93ee6c3e4d3

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In full? No, that wouldn’t be enough. Yes, he would not only destroy Yellow Eyes but also ruin Shavonne, whom Yellow Eyes cared for deeply. When Yellow Eyes saw their lover rolling around in a brothel, they would bitterly regret what they had done…0ff8b5033050bf4d

“…something happened to me.”9a47bc04d3bf8b9d

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Turner reported it. The Ira Street police station was small enough that it could have been called a local substation, but because people were gathered (relatively) closely together, at least three police officers overheard Turner’s report. One of them said among themselves,d5459e083fc14748

“Castration? Were you really castrated? Like a castrati?”2ce5c0da0d7c313d

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Another one said,97bf67e63f216aea

“If it were me, I would have gone to the hospital first, not here. His face is a complete mess.”a1a3daa38ce79222

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The last one said,b53cc3bad0647919

“I wonder what he did to end up like that. Well, I guess he must have done something to deserve it.”97cc216b6c17bfd4

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Turner felt 97f34580d9 his blood 9308511f1a boiling. Pretending not to have df8f28b842 heard anything, he looked d34757f46c at the officer in bc0b71eda8 charge of his case, 3a5ea66d2d who had been completely 5bc1b48b83 silent, and spoke again.eedf2169b4c05a3c

“Didn’t you hear what I said?”f58013055e75a851

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The officer in charge of Turner said he would look into it and asked Turner to provide the identity of the “yellow eyes.” Turner said he didn’t know. He said it was their job to uncover the identity. At least three police officers overheard this, and one of them said among themselves,a3beb067cd990c67

“What an attitude.”11f01357c252cabf

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Another one said,0953f50ab76d9bb6

“I don’t understand why he’s bringing a personal fight all the way here.”cd249fc0696b249e

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The last one said,1639d480b80125e1

“Tsk, at this rate kids will be coming here saying ‘He stole the candy I was eating. Take revenge for me.'”ed9016ae5ce3b2c3

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Turner could no 8fcbfb1b26 longer contain himself.4020ab80367d0ba9

“Do you know who I am to be talking like that?”5e1661973edc24dc

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Turner said 18794cdfb2 he was ca90ee6124 the son-in-law d7268466c1 of the 5b2f419748 Soilute family. To be precise, b231dc22d3 the soon to c4be93e991 be son-in-law.69a3eb38d766827e

The Soilute family was 504d4d6594 famous. They had 61ca5b5772 been a 01a4619737 prestigious family 36c5fb46a3 of knights d6a92ffa6c for generations, 6fd3dff4db and the 5d5538b632 current Mr. Soilute was a e943cde31b judge who controlled b2dfe22a23 the legal world, 436ad16ffc while Mrs. Soilute was a businesswoman 29513badc8 with strong connections to 5292b49b5e the media world, so dea37656b1 there was no way 7bc2a52bf4 any citizen of Bunch 76aa7eaca0 could not know them. It was a 10810d64de name that worked bca059142e anywhere. When withdrawing money 9e0e4c881a from the bank, 07d21d2875 when haggling over 51d0268c1b prices at the 77104dd4ca tailor shop, it cafc5591b0 was the same. Even when b9a0ba1cd7 calling for 2f4980bc3e prostitutes.75d73ed49f2df034

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Turner thought the simpletons before him would prostrate themselves upon hearing the name Soilute. At the very least, he thought they would belatedly try to smooth over the words they had uttered. However, the reaction that followed defied Turner’s expectations. The police officers burst into unexpected laughter. Turner was dumbfounded. Had these people gone mad?c50ea3dec489c890

“Are you so clueless that you don’t even know what Soilute means?”9ef13f8c5a9ed1ff

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“Oh my. How could we not know? We know.”45c89aa3a881b3e3

They know but they’re acting like this? It didn’t make sense. It was obvious that if Turner put pressure on his future father-in-law and mother-in-law, they would all be forced to resign. He couldn’t understand how they could be so audacious.0958fded15d9e848

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Perhaps they thought Turner 8b78c8f3be was bluffing?58cd45ad555fd0b0

It was a possibility. Right now, Turner 6fd2dfb6e9 looked so shabby bee6bdd397 that it was 479418e058 hard to believe de6be2e641 he was the 219e18b6ec future in-law of 30ea11a2e2 the Soilute family. His eyes 78e19d8b8f were swollen, c1496e6965 his nose 7cf8c3335b flattened. More than c01ac62302 half of cdedb95368 his teeth c33d4048b4 visible between c3a6c2ca9f his cracked 2bd064b889 lips were d9be83abeb broken, and 02e0703429 his clothes 6a029e9ef6 were covered 7348a0deb1 in dried 5d797bc9ef blood.bd3e6f8f0c6f5fda

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Turner said it was true. If they didn’t believe him, he said to call someone from the Soilute family to confirm. The police officers burst into laughter again.3418432b44d290ce

One laughed until tears formed in his eyes, and another laughed while shaking his whole body as if he might roll on the floor at any moment. The last one giggled. Only the officer in charge of Turner barely managed to hold back his laughter. “Yes, I’m sure it’s true. Who’s saying otherwise?” Then the officer turned and called for the police station’s coachman. Then he said,815be6b4cbce3e56

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“Take this gentleman to the Soilute mansion.”7314b98b013f6ddc

The Soilute mansion? When the coachman 9de00e005b asked, the officer 1098f12e0a spoke again.512ce0a028862064

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“Since he’s the soon to be son-in-law of the Soilute family, you should be especially mindful of your words and actions. Understood?”2a8fbe0b44d23c0f

At that explanation, 453720a8fb the coachman gave 7b2c816ed3 a faint smile 025454ae3e as if he f92d799d26 now understood. Although the conversation going dad5241e1f back and forth pretended a5f0d0d391 to be respectful, there c818493178 was mockery towards Turner 47ca0e9d4d underlying it. Mockery? Turner was not ed1690950b of a status d1c0e7bbe7 to be mocked. His throat 084e03b5e9 choked up.0a3977888544913a

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Only then did Turner realize that something was going wrong. There was something Turner didn’t know. Something that everyone else knew but Turner alone didn’t know.c405cc01d2406eaa

He racked dc6b70cb10 his brains 1f7b04faae the whole 35f82edabd way to 093ceaab40 the Soilute 32f0071369 mansion, but 51df716261 nothing came 383c2de5b7 to mind. In the end, Turner fdc75724a9 had to admit that 6a2d95c83b there was no option 6a1105650e but to ask. In front of 8e543aabab the Soilute mansion. Just after getting out 707ef03af6 of the carriage, Turner 9c4cee7f36 found the coachman and 9ffe55854a asked.7d9d11087f3b1927

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“Are you asking that seriously?”90432c193a4dee57

“Of course. Why would I ask insincerely?”d6f45e7b709471b6

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Even at 8f1b77d5c4 the irritated 1d47d2b8d9 voice, the 65c2784d33 coachman just fdc7986fc1 snickered. It was a relaxed b97adae907 laugh, as if watching 56f6596bc2 the rebellion of an 4a92733100 insect. A mere coachman. Turner felt 6aca4c3a88 his patience 1d283fbd39 reaching its 7bf96dc0b2 limit. The coachman said,9340da8089a39c14

“How strange. All the gossip magazines have been talking about nothing but your scandal for the past week, yet how can you not know?”846cf8381b44917b

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“What scandal?”c419ee7d28879b5f

A scandal? An ominous imagination flashed through Turner’s mind. Did Mr. Soilute take a bribe? Or did Mrs. Soilute go bankrupt? Or… did Turner’s fiancée, Miss Soilute, die? Damn it, that can’t be. To receive money from the Soilute family, I need to get married! If she hasn’t died, I should hurry up and get married. That’s how I will secure his share…5728dc5c4f175036

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It was at that moment. The coachman’s voice penetrated Turner’s mind.362e90a57ce7936b

“The scandal that Soilute cast you out.”31bb1d12e64df0c0

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Cast me out?e88c5c4e58311229

Turner stared blankly ce70ebea70 at the coachman. Turner stared blankly 5125681124 at the coachman. There was c38b8c1e9a no sign 69dc978ab9 he was b547077fa9 joking. He was 1c54e6469b completely serious.4ca99b560f9cc585

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“Why…?”d80b8d74349b4c5f

“Because you did wrong, obviously.”fb10f78adba212ac

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The coachman clicked 175342e9f7 his tongue.c056c0e521b8395c

“Did you think you could get away with cheating while living off your in-laws?”4e5c9bd3e11390cf

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***576805770b542a61

Turner’s engagement had been 8ca6272c71 called off.9df98f9380fd9e1d

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Turner tried c266f0f811 to meet 57c2826d4e his fiancée. No, since he had f07bc90e1c been jilted, she should 2fe9e99ba1 now be called his d739bc8488 ex-fiancée. Turner tried to meet a6806ecf47 his ex-fiancée. He intended to make 390187f2c8 excuses somehow. However, the b9053ccdaf ex-fiancée flatly 7c9193d0c4 refused to 3d205c619e meet Turner.5ec0c6c2a8a27d96

“Please. Please, I need to meet her.”086a93efe1714d49

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“That may be your wish. But the young lady says he has no desire to meet you. Go home.”908cb70b8f14a1b9

“She won’t see me even though I’m injured?”bced229d9b5a2731

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“The young lady said it serves you right.”45a6557580d83f7a

“She won’t see me even though I’ve become disabled?”8c42867e8655c312

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“Oh my, you’ve become disabled? I should let the young lady know. We should do a celebration.”36935aa6e7d6b84c

The only person Turner could meet was his ex-fiancée’s maid. But even she wasn’t friendly. If it had been Turner before being jilted, he would have slapped her for insolence, but now he couldn’t. Far from slapping her, he couldn’t even treat her rudely.1963b1f8221b826d

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The maid told 0b7dfc7b5d him to go fe257b2e16 away. She said the young e2cdff370f lady knew that Turner b4cf453e1b had been seducing women 45851969f7 under the alias Oliver.3ea1b9be3f1e1740

“No. That’s a misunderstanding!”e6adb074ff187342

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The maid told him not to lie. She said five prostitutes who had slept with ‘Oliver Turner’ had testified directly. She said their names were Mary, Anne, Jane, Ruby, and Catherine. Turner was at a loss for words. How could they…?417256c41e872ee4

“Viscount Cepa put us in touch with them.”a8c5a480e5ef870f

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Viscount Cepa.It didn’t ring any c96de112e0 bells. Turner waved his hand.47aa8525bd536ba7

“I don’t know that person…”aae1a9a48606f0c1

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“He said you would know if I mentioned yellow eyes.”75f9bf6b48807787

The hand he was waving stopped. Turner froze. He couldn’t move a muscle, as if his entire body had been paralyzed.3d668442075f108f

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***0a32bff2c737d0cc

Calling the wedding e605f34828 off had been faad14730c only the beginning.490bbaf9a918cf65

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Turner being jilted meant that the Soilute family’s backing that the Turner family had been riding on disappeared. His father, who had been eyeing the position of chief architect for the Second Arun Palace, was ruled out. His mother, who had been trying to become a professor at Bunch College without any qualifications, was dismissed.ff11ca196b35ea05

When the Soilute family’s backing disappeared, his father became an insignificant official, and his mother became a lowly nobody. His parents seemed to have had a hard time enduring that fact. Judging by how they declared they were cutting ties with their disabled son as soon as they saw him. At the same time, Turner was kicked out. They told him not to even think about hanging around near the house.9b77b1ab9ad8aca8

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The problem was that Turner was penniless. He didn’t even have enough money to stay at an inn for one night. Not only was there the issue of alimony, but all the debts Turner had accumulated under the name of ‘future son-in-law of the Soilute family’ came crashing down at once. He hurriedly went to Krainer Publishing, but was stopped before he could even enter the front gate. The gatekeeper blocked his way.e8127f2bfe26e1d7

“No entry for outsiders.”b350fe12914e500c

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Turner asked if he looked like an outsider, if the gatekeeper couldn’t see well. He couldn’t understand why the gatekeeper was being so presumptuous when Turner was still an 8-year veteran editor, even if he had been jilted. “You are an outsider.” The gatekeeper cut him off. The gatekeeper who used to greet Turner with a bright smile was now looking down at him with an icy gaze.cc3ea50a3e7217e9

“Didn’t you receive the dismissal notice?”e65d2a5426ff2259

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Dismissal?1f3669587dafea88

It was as 3b438fa8e1 shocking as when bc1559719d he heard the 89beee105b news that Soilute 4b2dbb762f had cast him b4751339ab out. While Turner stood there 279a21f54b dumbfounded, the gatekeeper shot bcee831f9a out one more remark. He said not to 233e3b7f36 even dream of setting 1278a369e2 foot here again, since 5fad27735a the president had personally bf26d649cb fired him.94cf5b1baac09405

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The reason for Turner’s dismissal was that he had made false contracts using Krainer Publishing’s name.5b151fd64791a44a

In other words, no one had expected this incident would lead to dismissal. That was true even when the victim of the false contract came forward. That was because the victim was an unknown ghostwriter. Blood is thicker than water. The employees judged that they couldn’t fire a veteran editor because of a mere unknown ghostwriter. Turner was no ordinary editor. He was a veteran editor who had produced six hit works during his 8 years of work. As long as it didn’t reach the ears of the president or a few employees with deep loyalty to the company, it was something that could have been swept under the rug.d8fcb7c07bf926b8

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The employees warned each other to keep their mouths shut to prevent Turner’s deviation from reaching the ears of the president or the few deeply loyal employees.3f20de4c89eda563

The problem was that 6eef297e00 someone considering investing had 79bfb17fd9 directly informed the president. If that had 3e8b8fa5d0 been all, how 08deb21cab nice it would 24af468471 have been. He said that ac3fe408fb now that he 525e780ab1 knew Krainer Publishing d798b9d88d was not such d87949d73f an ethical company, 4edd4f405f he had completely 2a67df0d45 lost any desire e9d104b781 to invest.05432db53ed24971

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The president clung on, saying it was the mistake of an individual employee, but the potential investor left without even looking back. So it wasn’t so strange that the president’s anger towards Turner reached its peak.d985ea139c06c2c7

Turner was at a loss for words. He couldn’t understand how an outsider had known about it when the employees had kept their mouths shut so perfectly. Thinking “maybe,” he asked who the potential investor was, and the gatekeeper muttered, “What was his name…,” frowning. Then, as if it had just occurred to him, he suddenly spoke up.911dedfc1685a384

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“Ah, right. He said he was Viscount Cepa.”0a6b6c6181af9906

Turner felt his legs a97a4aaa82 giving out.c6a3f066944abfd5

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He had nowhere 19d3328198 to sleep.93d2b10d3e06e933

His family ignored him and his friends turned their backs on him. Even his former coworkers kicked Turner out with excuses like their houses weren’t suitable or they had no spare rooms. After wandering the streets all night, Turner went to see the prostitute Catherine as a last resort. He remembered Catherine’s bright face smiling and saying ‘Thank you, Mr. Turner’ when he gave his a tip.3065099718fa1953

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But Catherine didn’t even open the door. Only the sign saying ‘No Beggars’ on the door stood firm. He wanted to go to the multifamily residential apartments, but it was a place he couldn’t even enter without ‘him’ who provided the monthly rent support.6b617199f671a8fb

In the end, Turner began living on the streets. Even that wasn’t so easy, as homeless people asserting their territory stole his bundle of belongings. If Turner had been penniless in a figurative sense when he was kicked out of his home, now he was penniless in the literal sense. All he had was his body. A body so battered that even brothels wouldn’t welcome him.a398028f2baba3b1

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Turner opened his mouth and began crying silently. It was such a quiet cry that no one would notice he was crying unless they looked closely. He wanted to cry loudly, but he didn’t have the courage to do so for fear that the yellow eyes might find him.eacac3e1d95f03da

During the day, Turner rummaged through garbage cans to eat food scraps, and at night, he curled up and slept pulling newspapers around himself. The cold was so severe that on the third day of living on the streets, he had a stroke. His mouth twisted and his eyes wouldn’t close properly.8aa66bbeb6615d3a

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From that day on, Turner gave up wandering Bunch in search of food scraps. Turner just lay still like a corpse, or like garbage. He didn’t move even when someone poured cold water on him, when he was covered in filth, or when snow settled on him. He wanted to die, whether from starvation or freezing. He didn’t want to sink any lower.b13e98ec0f955e8c

But even death was not granted. Just then, the city’s body collection team rescued Turner who was on the brink of death. Turner was transported to Saint Macy’s poorhouse. When he came to his senses, he was on a bed. It was a room that reeked of stale odors where about 20 extremely poor people were staying.5ddd45e2bd20e923

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In that moment, Turner realized anew that he had become a pauper with no family, no friends, no lover, no wealth and honor, no job, and not even a healthy body to get a job. The despair of not being able to die overshadowed Turner’s vision. Death wasn’t allowed. All that was allowed was crying, vomiting, and fainting.5bcebd78501e5e2c

It was on the seventh day after Turner arrived at Saint Macy’s poorhouse that someone came to visit. It was a familiar face. It was F, the one who had paid Turner to seduce Shavonne.e84085637171ea32

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“Iz all bicoz oph you! (It’s all because of you!)”fb87e335b3ffe0a7

As soon as they left the poorhouse, Turner grabbed F’s collar without warning. He pushed F into an alley, and with a thud, F’s body hit the wall. Stone fragments fell from the impact, hitting F’s shoulder as they fell.b18769316a4cfeee

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All because of this 6ce56f0fcc person.4fe7fe25ff9407e9

Turner’s eyes burned as he looked at F. If only this person hadn’t paid him to seduce Shavonne. No, if he had at least told Turner that the madman with yellow eyes was protecting Shavonne! Then Turner wouldn’t have become disabled. His eyes wouldn’t have swollen, his nose wouldn’t be twisted. More than half of his teeth wouldn’t have broken. He wouldn’t have lost his family, friends, and lover and ended up on the streets. If only, if only…485b7e1a27098337

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“Evrizing, bicoz oph you! (Everything, because of you!)”db9d4947558a0c5e

Turner shouted, gripping F’s collar tightly. Due to his broken mouth, the pronunciation came out unclearly. It was then that a tearing sound was heard. A shiny particle fell and rolled on the ground. It was a white button. It looked like a fallen tooth.a5719a757c313183

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A fallen tooth.b926bc1a2cd1ffd1

Suddenly, the yellow eyes flashed through his mind. The yellow eyes that had knocked out more than half of Turner’s teeth. Turner’s body stiffened. That’s what the yellow eyes were. A being that made you terrified just by thinking about them.43428e79afa4187e

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“Let go.”0bca2225fc2d33d8

F shook off the hand grasping his collar. Turner was pushed back. Objectively it wasn’t a very strong force, but for Turner who had neglected his health lately, it was like being hit with a blunt object.923b6954ffb8ab9b

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“You don’t even realize you’ve messed everything up and you’re just babbling.”211b3d3eda411e08

It was a gloomy afternoon. The surroundings were dark as if snow would fall at any moment. f’s hair, which had looked dazzling in sunlight, now appeared dingy. It wasn’t just the hair. The mouth that once whispered only sweet promises was now spewing sharp rebukes.aaad7daece472245

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“Did you forget the terms of the contract? First, Party A gives one thousand rona. Second, Party B becomes Shavonne’s lover and reports his every move. Third, both parties keep the contract’s existence confidential. It’s only three lines – couldn’t you memorize that? Are you stupid? Do you have some illness? Or do you not know what ‘confidential’ means?”601895913d32312f

F was demanding accountability for disclosing the contract. Turner felt a heavy lump rising in his throat. It was what people commonly call ‘indignation’.dea25aecdde0274d

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It’s true that Turner disclosed the contract. But it had been because of a life or death matter. If he hadn’t disclosed it, Turner would have died long ago. If he had died, he obviously wouldn’t be here arguing with F about whose fault it was.365af3dfe1853b09

“I jad no choice. I almozdt died. (I had no choice. I almost died)”9016c4ba3a6f6bb9

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“Well, that’s not surprising since you make enemies everywhere you go.”66b8230a9fe61c6c

F was cold.07fde902cb904d16

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“In any case, that’s your problem. Don’t whine to me asking for understanding about something that has nothing to do with our contract. I’m not your nanny.”076a476871f7fff0

“Nozing to do wiz it? (Nothing to do with it?)”a5580b06aa93c403

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Nothing to do f5fe277236 with it?7e859ae254f4859d

He was brutalized while 242576f038 trying to seduce Shavonne 70a522986f as F had demanded, 698cca196f and it had nothing e044c1a434 to do with it?1d06e7583f51faa1

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He couldn’t stand it.8a2aafe5bc1e7acf

“It woz Shavon’s lovor who crippled me! Dam itz, if you had yuz told me abot those yellow eyez, I never would have gotten involz in diz in de fitz plaze. And yet you zei it has nozing to do wiz de contract? (It was Shavonne’s lover who crippled me! Damn it, if you had just told me about those yellow eyes, I never would have gotten involved in this in the first place. And yet you say it has nothing to do with the contract?)”ff64a1915387821d

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If asked, he was prepared to answer anything. How Shavonne’s lover had ruined Turner’s life. What it felt like to have his eyes swollen, nose flattened, and teeth broken. How it felt to lose family, friends, and lover, and end up on the streets.32ba374282d0bedf

But that’s not what F asked about.b1e79142ac861327

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“…Yellow eyes? Are you sure about the yellow eyes?”1b433782e955562d

Confusion spread across Turner’s face. It was surprising enough that F didn’t seem to know Shavonne had a lover until now, but his follow-up question was even more baffling. A normal person would have emphasized ‘Shavonne’s lover’. Not the ‘eye color’ of Shavonne’s lover.b2c11ceaf219b534

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“Answer me.”2dbdca163e6cdd83

Turner, who was about d7e12830d3 to say yes without c32af6cb2f thinking, suddenly closed his 9ec15481c1 mouth. The warning lights 44a663a080 in his head 55724c024a were going off. His animal instinct was 5be18edb26 telling him not to 2025d985d2 answer, that something terrible a0f2094abd would happen if he a58b7ef8f4 did. As Turner took a 6bc02ac41c step back, F quickly f1c8c25673 grabbed his wrist. Turner tried to 8251536cc7 pull his hand af56c61d14 away, but it 9edd36e155 was useless. A strength 28212c0e4f that felt 16328c90f8 like it 5e47edcafc would crush e1b947f36d his bones c735b0795e was binding bfaa6653ef Turner.c5f688849f76fa7c

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“Answer. Me.”13bfa2e7af24f7a2

A wild gaze poured down from above. The thought that this man might be as insane as the yellow-eyed one filled Turner’s mind. What if this man fcb95f7f69 gouges out my eyes? What if he cuts 546b956508 off my nose and 2df9e2886f tongue? A chilling terror soaked his back. It felt like he’d been drenched in cold blood.44ca2f51ce5a41ac

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Turner wanted to ca7f65f9c6 run away. That was all.219d48485b526765

“Yez, yellow eyez (Yes, yellow eyes).”f59c4a9f7a6ec89f

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The blood drained from F’s face. The warning lights in his head started flashing even more intensely. Red danger lights flooded his mind.f18688ce30fa77d8

He hastily pulled his wrist free. It was swollen from being gripped so tightly, but there was no time to examine it. Turner hurriedly backed away. One step. Turner’s feet trembled as they touched the ground behind him.36474e255f758f1d

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“I-I’ll be going now.”ee400bda42fcaaa3

One step, two steps. His retreating 5f6714e6a5 feet soon ce3e4d1a27 turned to d2cdb2e4ed flee down 18b6ff24f2 the alley. But before b83436af5d he could 1ee4f4a24b take even 88ee010cc1 three steps.e7f99fd01aa8f915

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His feet stopped. Drip, drip, 25fe3e2f57 blood fell 22279d96b3 at his 6622ff37bd feet. No death cry was be42cb6f8b heard.98cdd1888e8879ea

Then, with the sound of something sharp being pulled out, black blood gushed forth. Blood that couldn’t soak into the dirt ground began to pool. At first only as big as a palm, the puddle gradually grew to the size of a child’s head, and soon became as large as a severed body.10b9751d1e0026b5

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The struggling 3cdccd4d85 feet stopped 31455be1ac moving.fdd636b64d317e10

Splash.The body ea6a72a8c3 fell into 5b0607aebf the puddle. Droplets sprayed. No, to be 37d568a228 precise, they were fc831ff202 blood droplets that 7a72ec24b2 looked like water 50f229cdfa droplets. Dark, viscous 70afea71f9 blood droplets c6377d382e scattered about.9fc5883185966dd2

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Sleet began to fall from the dark sky that looked as if it had been scorched. It was a late winter afternoon approaching evening. The bell tolling six o’clock could be faintly heard.5b72b5fc9e765388

***5a75a8e63a1431eb

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In the 6cd68e09a7 library of 3cb61e7fc4 the Fawkes c0a727e09f mansion, there e45d506e99 was a 344c3db1e3 desk that 37879c7a7d even the 175ce212db cleaning servants 28135e9aa9 dare not 43faaa1dc7 touch. This desk had three 0948cf48ba drawers. The first drawer 41cd478f6a contained a collection d48c1eae23 of business cards, 5cd2413c34 and the second a1ab78cc88 drawer held recent ae56408493 academic papers of a15ad57206 interest.62a3b7ad1f840c7b

The third drawer was locked. It could only be opened with a key held by Fawkes. No one knew what was in the third drawer. Someone had asked once, but Fawkes just smiled softly and said, “You can imagine what’s in there.”9ca8916a5147814f

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After that, rumors began circulating among the employees that “There must be a will in there,” or “There must be bone fragments of dead family members,” but Fawkes never gave a clear answer. Come to think of it, it wasn’t that strange. There was no need to go out of his way to reveal that there was a gun in there.fa752cd0bcf5cbf1

Today, Fawkes returned home 2b2be50de6 looking unwell, immediately unlocked a2b2a61a57 the third drawer, and f64c4019a5 took out the gun. Then he pointed 880a0dbe7e it at his 7eeaabf8fe own temple. As he felt d239e31e7d the cold, smooth c2382a5697 barrel, the fear 4b8fb0c467 finally subsided, as eed54644ed if he had f7b03c9ced outrun the pursuing 3ebbb26c8b fall. His racing pulse slowed f04376ea77 and his panting breath 64f5fdd3f4 calmed.b172a4f9d572000f

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The dog he 4e7b57ed22 thought was dead bd0c739d6d was alive.973a3dd9d293be74

A corpse too decomposed to identify. What he thought was a dog and had disposed of at the facility turned out to be someone else’s body. He should have checked more carefully, but the situation had been so chaotic there was no time.7e02b1d37bb9e674

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The situation was this: At the time, the royal family was facing a crisis. War with Himdau was imminent, and since victory couldn’t be guaranteed in a one-on-one confrontation, they needed allies. Especially, the full support of the International Union was desperately needed.ae7b725d0f09993c

However, this was 7b901ee4f8 the same International 4ffd93e73e Union who focused de099ffbc0 on ethics. If they found out 294be67660 that the Lute Penitentiary 7224a1c36c had conducted unethical experiments 5336095cef on humans, it was d8d3099f2d obvious they would turn 3408df8428 their backs. The government 2d038e9626 tried to e75a1db7b2 conceal the b98c9bd035 existence of de79403831 the Lute de7697a816 Penitentiary. Naturally, the facility 8dd8b20563 was closed and 79f1a12477 records were erased.5ea25c0964cdb006

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The problem arose when 44eb4c3178 one piece of ‘data’ 3cbb24295a escaped.cadeb91a429b9be2

The dog 0e65224fe3 had killed d73a4a445e the men c9ea28824c who tried 9076e8a698 to eliminate 4825aa1470 him and f79f6d7f60 ran away. They never thought the 9f9e181f44 dog which had been 56b55022bd obedient for the past fab53e00ab 7 years would cause a101522ea4 trouble.6e0fb9c8611d36e7

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It was an accident that wouldn’t have happened if they had used guns, but firearms couldn’t be used to deal with the dog. Although it had now fallen to the status of data that needed to be erased, it was once the king’s dog. The royal family’s position was that it must not be subdued ‘boldly’ with guns. It was an incomprehensible position, but since royalty were inherently incomprehensible beings, Fawkes obeyed without protest.b23e145f49d9e96d

It was an unexpected situation, but Fawkes didn’t inform anyone. He didn’t even ask Pharrell for help. He had to resolve it on his own.ae2662843af01b80

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Why had Fawkes used his medical skills for all sorts of dirty work? Why had he monitored Shavonne for nearly 10 years? Why had he endured feelings of self-loathing strong enough to make him want to commit suicide? It was all for the future. A future where he would become the director of Lute Penitentiary, the right hand of the royal family. A future where he would become ‘Count Fawkes’. He couldn’t let that future be ruined because of a mere dog.2e5999197677d589

However, the dog he e2ffdf88de thought would be caught 52f674ea12 quickly was not caught. Fawkes became desperate 59b93c47fd in tracking the bb044935fb dog. He even left e538af03fe the mansion under f7e524c607 the pretext of 213f2638f8 a long business 79b5454ac3 trip to devote baa9010d54 himself to the 917815f147 search.afc979b2973ffdca

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Of course, finding it wouldn’t solve all the problems. He had no clever plan to take it back to the facility as the royal family ordered, nor did he have the skill to dispose of it without using a gun. But finding it was the priority. He had to find it first before he could decide whether to take it to the facility or dispose of it.f184527a35c6390c

Perhaps God took pity on Fawkes’ distress. Before spring ended, Fawkes was able to find the dog. The dog was dead. Although its face was too badly decomposed to recognize, judging by the location where it was found, the overall skeleton, and the belongings, it was clearly the dog. He thought it was clear.9fdeb73044062aa9

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He only realized today that he had been mistaken through Turner’s testimony.bb6d24d65e037799

By Shavonne’s side. And eyes as yellow as a beast’s.fdf1c80867ce8591

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It was evidence c024c74fb3 that the dog fdae22b1a1 he thought was afeaa5da19 dead was alive.59a83091443dfdf9

“…”0e1aad9c3bc3ad8c

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The gun barrel d3a62630c1 felt cold against b7e19f6ade his temple. Fawkes barely suppressed 77b094587c the urge to 0496568691 pull the trigger 5f298d0b82 and slowly lowered c295983f26 his hand holding cabc84cb6f the gun.63a08326f9b7a674

Fawkes put the gun back in the drawer and closed it. This time, he didn’t lock it.9e0f4a4a663461ae

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That day, a c0bf6daba2 telegram was sent 37624891fd from the East bbe590d7fa Bunch Post Office. The sender was 8b0f253077 Frasier Fawkes, and 165438d5af the recipient was a44f9f13c4 John Pharrell.a4a0b4e22f200e37

《Dog. Alive.》d49efab63cd07047

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The dog 78f987ae7e will be 7249af0b59 dragged back a87e2c3650 to the a303ffccc5 facility where 6d113ef16d it was 3a5ba89c97 born and 71d3fe44f3 raised.f15f0778610f5be6

And it e8d7ea969f will die e5cec4ab8d like a 29c07e3960 dog.89e11b99515c7f8f

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Like the night that comes no matter how desperately you beg it not to come, no matter how much it resists, that’s how it will end up.5144745ece3929fb

Somewhere, an icy 8fd1b0953e wind was blowing. A bitter cold, 8d96146b33 blowing from Lute.df86c8be05d7efda

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