MLCD Chapter 5.2

“…Mr. Lewellyn.”85fd7adfea549a98

“Lewellyn.” He tried shaking him, but still, there was no response. Even when he shook him roughly, the result was the same.d0b12cfe27eafe5a

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Suddenly, he noticed that Lewellyn’s face was pale. He had always been pale, but this was the first time he was so pale that he reminded one of a corpse a week after death. It wasn’t just his face. Even his lips had turned blue.85a53853ed2a488e

Could Lewellyn be…0093bb2bead11a10

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‘You could die if you’re not careful.’9f231b0613917c41

Turner’s words came to mind. His jaw trembled with fear. Cold sweat poured out. It ran down Shavonne’s nose and temples. With trembling hands, Shavonne searched for Lewellyn’s pulse. Is it here? No? Is it here…Because his hands 31d55e07ed were shaking so f2716884d1 much, it took a1cff68dfb a while to 0115eaf4ca confirm the heartbeat.2a8c89b087012cf8

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He was alive.8e35c7a310c11c2a

He picked him up 244cc37a1d on his back and c9ac0aee6d dashed out of Room f084bbc238 303. As he 107715a83b ran down 5cc04d9d29 the apartment 8e96996af5 stairs, he 9135df0a4d staggered. Fortunately, he quickly regained c6b7ac41c0 his balance, or he 6fa50da0a4 might have tumbled down. In the process, one 94e5edaf8a of the indoor shoes 195373133b he had hastily put f512e00bc6 on came off and 28c9be8833 flew into the darkness. He could probably find 1e2fd1b9b4 it if he searched, f967c161fb but there was no 321a17168b time for that.1da373a274066357

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Limping, he hurriedly left the apartment. At the entrance of the building, a giant platanus tree stood in the form of a huge, black shadow. Until just a while ago, it had been gently swaying whenever the wind blew, but now it didn’t move at all. It was as still as death. Just like Lewellyn on Shavonne’s back.6b3741edc1d58994

Shaking his ominous thoughts 82b2ceecab off, he adjusted Lewellyn 6c4d273302 on his back and 4dfb2c37be started running again, limping. He threw 5d08256424 away the 7abaa41f29 remaining shoe afa7726568 that was 3a1d8ab093 hindering his d1082d1955 running. As expected, 74b0825ee9 running barefoot cc0f07b9b9 was much 901626927e faster than 7ebc4457a7 running with e68c378b61 just one 01c93c212f shoe.017df429b1696d78

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The rough cobblestones scraped Shavonne’s bare feet as he passed. A stinging pain soaked his feet. His feet were bleeding from cuts and scrapes all over. There wasn’t a place that wasn’t wounded, from the soles of his feet, the tops, between his toes, and even his toenails.e04e097ce2545e09

All the private hospitals located on Ira Street were closed. He shook the doors, knocking hard with his fists, and even shouted to see if anyone was inside, but no one came out. He realized it wasn’t business hours just before he was about to throw his body against the door, when he saw a small sign saying the doctor was out on a house call.175114f6822f0728

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“Damn it!” Shavonne cursed out loud. Why do these greedy bastards only keep the hospital open for three hours? No wonder you’re scraping by on Ira Street. If you were open all the time, you’d be more than qualified to be a doctor at the Royal Hospital by now. No, forget the Royal Hospital. You could’ve been the Royal Physician.5f8835b72d54795a

Shavonne recalled the time when a drunk house-call doctor, with a bright red nose, broke his toe. What did he say back then? Something about mistaking Shavonne’s toe for a tree branch? Such doctors made up 99% of Ira’s medical professionals.db9cd87c7728af77

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By now, this doctor was probably pretending to be on a house call while actually hanging out at Blase, drinking with just about anyone. And then, after drinking, he’d try to suture a wound and end up putting the scalpel in someone’s stomach. You fucker, why 57b5d82709 would you go 753f6a96b8 to a house a11e4a4c60 call? Who the 7cdb0c9dd5 hell called 8a2a4074d5 for a 177c03a740 house call 84006529de at this 89ed19955e hour?d1858b1403f70690

Shavonne wanted to cry, aa03798f96 but there was no dcd42538a1 time for that. Emotions could 70a9070938 wait until 35d9ab3564 after waking b9d052c6e8 Lewellyn. Just then, a5fde181bf Shavonne remembered 0f78d86c66 that there 3540add30f was a 6c3381e44d clinic nearby 6738c6880f that was eb5f3ee6fa open all dcdec6ecc8 day. Shavonne hesitated before heading 1bc65d0df2 straight to the clinic.19f9ed4260ce6eb4

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Among the medical fa0673113e facilities in Bunch, b05fe448d7 that clinic had 905964dff9 the worst conditions. Except for the Royal 6356daf6ee Hospital, which was practically 2ab0165692 exclusive to the upper 08307bbe51 class, the only medical 80d287d964 facilities Shavonne could access 97dd4ccd8a were private hospitals and 18fe80bc09 clinics. Compared to 9400f7a5c4 private hospitals, f50e1e0c47 which were f86878b01c no better e05f7ce9ed than poorhouses, d97786263a clinics had 9415a5506c even worse 476c71743c facilities. There was even a 47b1015e35 common joke that it b0f95ae484 was better to receive 44981b49c8 quack treatment from a ec0046b9f5 Caucasian fortune-teller than to 5cb2722659 be treated at a bd89de3d7e clinic.ac5bf96c9067d699

Should I really take 9b7c7cd882 Lewellyn to such a 1301d3e96f place?2408b1aa4b2d43ed

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The weight of the choice churned in Shavonne’s throat like nausea. But Shavonne’s decision was already made. Before going to the clinic, Shavonne glanced at Lewellyn, who was being carried on his back. Lewellyn was asleep. Perhaps in a long sleep that might become eternal. The breath on Shavonne’s nape was so faint it seemed it might stop at any moment.bad656a024615ca5

The clinic door b73554b4a5 only opened after 81147463d9 three loud knocks. Despite the sign saying 0efab24c71 it was open all 0e04f78bf5 day, the doctor looked 03b5f6b67e like he had just 6220d5f1f9 woken up. His messy hair, sleepy 1eb4d1edeb eyes, and lips twisted c579a2f473 as if trying to a498395d1d suppress a yawn were 732fe11c13 evidence of this.0fc1ff2ff2554a3d

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The doctor quickly looked Shavonne up and down, taking in the sight of Lewellyn on his back. He seemed to be considering whether to treat them or not. Fortunately or not, the doctor’s deliberation ended the moment he saw Shavonne’s limping leg and bare, injured feet without shoes. The doctor said,faea4cecc4858987

“Go somewhere else.”39c03bb79111d299

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And with that, he slammed the door shut. Before the echo of the slam could fade, Shavonne violently opened the door. The doctor, who had been about to leave the doorway, stopped and turned to look at Shavonne with a surprised face. His eyes were as round as a rabbit’s.9d17c67aac295561

“What…”9d0cadeaafd68a7a

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Shavonne didn’t let the doctor finish his sentence.da10d7012b2dce49

“Listen here, doctor.”6d45d6919a1f57f2

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Shavonne had to make the doctor treat Lewellyn. Of course, Shavonne wasn’t dumb. He wouldn’t appeal to the hippocratic oath, which had become mere scraps of paper, or to emotions. The method Shavonne would use was much faster, more certain, and more effective than appealing.954c5387aeadd675

For example, bef7258b29 a threat.dd9ca890caa59b04

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“Have you never had an inspection in your life? Don’t you even know what the inspector Allium Cepa looks like?”a1b9f792909c12a1

The doctor’s expression became bizarre.5a91998d9dfacb4a

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“You’re saying you’re Inspector Alli… whatever you said?”bcd0d1741015fac3

“If you don’t believe me, check with the inspection office. Of course, by then, I won’t be speaking politely as a patient like I am now.”ac39158753bfce52

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The doctor seemed uncertain whether the man before him was a real inspector or not. Shavonne didn’t miss this hesitation and shouted loudlycd13a9da9250ec59

“What are you waiting for?!”de969b0c2bd1c059

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Only then did the doctor hurriedly start preparing for the medical examination. Shavonne tightly gripped and then released Lewellyn’s limp hand that was draped over his shoulder. It was a cold hand.2ef6f2aab8eb0ab4

Inside the clinic, Shavonne silently looked down at Lewellyn lying on the bed. Whether in Room 303 or here at the clinic, Lewellyn was still sound asleep. Not panting, not shaking or twisting his head. Not even moaning, ‘Shavonne, don’t go.’2fbd679556a2bcd1

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“…”47bac4f1a62f9ddb

It was unbearable to look at. Shavonne closed his eyes. But if there was one thing Shavonne had overlooked, it was that fear could never be avoided whether one’s eyes were closed or open. Fear slowly began to dampen the nape of Shavonne’s neck.dd2563bc0a28b3ed

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What if Lewellyn never opened his eyes again? If Shavonne could never eat the onion bagels or onion steaks that Lewellyn made, never hear Lewellyn’s morning greeting of ‘did you dream of me?’ or his nightly ‘dream of me’…7991155b39f03e74

If Shavonne were to lose Lewellyn…de8ac3e9e579a03b

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―Mr. Shavonne, can’t I be the only one in your world?3401b2e4505a4e31

Shavonne recalled something Lewellyn had said once. What had Shavonne thought back then? That love couldn’t become one’s world, that love becoming one’s world was just an empty romance for daydreamers. Not knowing that someday, Shavonne would be afraid of losing his world, Lewellyn.0096570d45c0c531

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Even Shavonne didn’t know when exactly Lewellyn had become his ‘romance’.9ab33ec500a61da7

Maybe it was after seeing Lewellyn’s scar-covered body, or maybe it was after waiting all night for Lewellyn when he ran away. If he were to meticulously search through his memories, he might be able to pinpoint when it started. But now wasn’t the time to do that. He was afraid that the memories he shared with Lewellyn might turn into mere ‘memories’. He was afraid of the pain, afraid of the loneliness.f383484cb65ee507

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They say that as love deepens, the world becomes rosy, but that was all a lie. As love deepens, the world becomes full of dangers. An empty corridor that one would have barely noticed when alone becomes frightening, raindrops that one wouldn’t have cared about when alone become scary. The silence that one would have taken for granted when alone becomes terrifying.2cb51dc25984be98

Why does life become 9f5eb48155 scarier the more one e15e1fbbf6 loves?1018a665b78c7626

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Shavonne buried his face in his hands and hunched over. The world pressed down on Shavonne’s back. It was overwhelming.0c2cdbaeecff14a1

The doctor said that Lewellyn would wake up soon. When asked how soon ‘soon’ was, he replied, “Anywhere from five minutes to twelve hours?” Shavonne frowned. How can that 96edaa425e be ‘soon’?0364d44c407255e7

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Shavonne planned to take Lewellyn to Dr. Fawkes’s hospital if he didn’t wake up within an hour. He didn’t want to reveal the existence of his ex-murderer lover to Dr. Fawkes, but if the situation worsened, he had no choice.309a790b4ec8d01b

Dr. Fawkes’s hospital was said to provide treatment on par with the Royal Physician. Of course, they charged astronomical fees that would cost an ordinary person their entire fortune. Since Dr. Fawkes himself had told this story, there was no possibility of it being a lie. Although Shavonne had never been to Dr. Fawkes’s hospital, he figured that given its famous reputation, he could easily find it by asking around Rewood Street.f9baca26d491faef

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As Shavonne repeatedly rubbed 94dcd269c8 his face, the doctor, 0a4054a4c5 who had been glancing 7717fb36c9 at him furtively, cautiously c9912e1e40 asked a question. It was 133b6e4eed already the 7cc86b7e89 fifth time 022c659784 he had 60c2e16d2d asked today.47a66f267c3fde45

“You’re really an inspector, right?”f2b4e8a558f8e2c9

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“If you ask one more time, I’ll write in the evaluation report that you might have dementia.”9dc59e01365f8963

Shavonne replied without taking his eyes off Lewellyn’s sleeping face. Shavonne’s face was dry and devoid of any hint of a smile.13ac924be3341317

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“I’m not asking because I don’t believe you. It’s just strange.”d84eee04dd75ac0e

“Keep your strangeness to yourself. Don’t tell me about it.”8f08e90ed7f811e5

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“Well, it’s not that you’re strange, sir. It’s that the… patient you brought in is strange.”4d10aca836714495

Shavonne turned to dd8de9f7b2 look at the 6014ee2b94 doctor. The doctor asked,002ca0d903fa5772

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“What happened to this person before they lost consciousness?”7db4095b4a6e6ac0

“…They took sleeping pills.”ace66ea45bf4c9a9

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Shavonne swallowed be160e994d the words 8c5fff9478 ‘It must d7625c6029 have been fb2d4ec78c due to 644d470129 side effects.’ 4c14bb49d1 The words cf41c86e70 ‘side effects’ cf26121732 felt very 94a5fb4f6d uncomfortable.d330d99b910c88c7

The doctor muttered to himself, “Sleeping pills, sleeping pills…” and then spoke up.86b045263acfaf9c

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“Could you bring me those ‘sleeping pills’ next time?”2cf5a72592635ec0

Shavonne said he would. He showed 5967161578 no other 9293bf086c reaction.6d64dc7649810413

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After the doctor left, 5c3a7dd8d9 only the two of 07cb3b380e them remained in the be20faa91b empty hospital room. Despite it dcf07df801 being dawn, 2a6c8b2bec it was 24fe757d72 still dark 34714a4bdc outside. Daybreak was too 8297661cac far away.3131e67800eda3e0

***5cdcd40c42850813

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There’s an end to everything. Love is no exception. Whether it’s death that ends love or discord, there’s no such thing as endless love.77299a7abdb48f96

Shavonne wanted to die the day before losing Lewellyn. He didn’t want to see the end. Shavonne was too weak to endure the end, and he lacked the strength, courage, and will to not become weak. Shavonne simply didn’t want to hurt.879249c4bb0e3864

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He remembered ebb48eaeb0 a certain 6976602904 evening when 005832c65e all of b22827f9b0 Bunch was 7f213a13b0 dyed in 9d2c6b1464 a romantic b93e9a9741 purple. Twilight, spring. The cozy cee37663db dusk of ef099402e9 the moon 6c5a1b0af6 and stars. And a 9a01ed4a07 gentle darkness.dcb33bd68c9f84db

He shouldn’t have gone to find Lewellyn then.f3d69219f1030c3c

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He shouldn’t have said, “I like you.”074f6afb211a63a0

He shouldn’t have said, “Would you go out with me?”a1a819ced9753b6c

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Even if it meant dying buried in solitude, he shouldn’t have done anything.3fe1b24cfb447b0d

Shavonne regretted it. It was the ad9a9e0203 first time since 05bbf54163 falling in love 49636b36ec with Lewellyn.1c20bd37f0595943

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He shouldn’t have loved.e28671b42b0ab550

He shouldn’t have created a situation where he could lose him.7d179cf4bb1f6924

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Lewellyn.457ba38fcd4d183c

Don’t go.acefb4303b30e29e

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Words that shouldn’t be said swirled in his throat. It stung.e31d7d2ac81d6eed

Lewellyn opened his eyes.1a18fbd934330f29

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Lewellyn regained consciousness around dawn at five o’clock, as the early morning light began to stream through the window.decdbe9acf6e68cc

Despite having kept vigil by the bedside all along, Shavonne didn’t see Lewellyn wake up. He had been curled up, his head cradled in both arms. Shavonne had been regretting. Everything was a matter of regret.9da23c4a08d354de

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Starting from‘I shouldn’t have given him the sleeping pills,’ to ‘Why didn’t I say anything? I should have at least hinted that I was going to give him sleeping pills. I should have done that!’, ‘No, I should have refused Turner’s offer to give me sleeping pills. Yes. First of all, I shouldn’t have told the truth about not being able to sleep.’61645cdd49d2982f

While Shavonne wasn’t looking, Lewellyn opened his eyes. His previously still eyelids trembled slightly, then opened to reveal his golden eyes. His haggard gaze slowly moved from the ceiling to the wall, then to the bed, and finally rested on Shavonne, who was keeping watch at the bedside.7fdddf1a882077a3

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Lewellyn just quietly looked up at Shavonne, who was curled up with his head in his arms. Shavonne’s face wasn’t visible due to his arms cradling his head and his fallen hair. Instead of calling out ‘Shavonne,’ Lewellyn raised his hand and brushed aside Shavonne’s fallen hair. Their eyes met. Shavonne’s eyes widened belatedly.2f9a1245fa68d3b4

“Lewellyn, I’m…”838928e04fee742c

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He was about to say he was sorry. That it was Shavonne’s fault for not telling him in advance, for giving him sleeping pills without saying a word due to the childish desire to give him a ‘good sleep’ as a surprise gift.e2d9fde9a431adac

However, before he could even offer the apology he had prepared, an unexpected response cut off Shavonne’s words.2930692ed450d141

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“You didn’t leave.”d61d6784dc5d480a

His throat ef245b4af7 closed up.37e5053e8238f01c

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“That’s a good thing. For you, of course, not for me. If you had left, I was planning to chase you down immediately and put shackles on your ankles.”517c4f1d8868d429

A faint laugh. Perhaps because he had been unconscious for over ten hours, Lewellyn’s voice was hoarse and cracked. Shavonne couldn’t say anything. It felt like there was a thorn stuck in his throat. Every time he swallowed, a stinging pain jabbed his throat, stopped, and then started again.fa4c5f576b4f5270

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“Are you not going to say anything?”6be0b79ca9991f46

Lewellyn’s hand fidgeted with Shavonne’s face. As Lewellyn’s touch caressed his hair, pinched his cheek, and lightly brushed the bridge of his nose, Shavonne felt his mouth clamp shut even more tightly, let alone speak.5c643b5dc5e65b05

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“Really?”72fa07faad746b98

Lewellyn pushed Shavonne’s fallen hair behind his ear while maintaining eye contact. As if all of this was no big deal. Shavonne still couldn’t say anything. Regardless of his intentions, Shavonne had given Lewellyn sleeping pills without any warning and had nearly sent his lover to his grave. What could someone like Shavonne possibly say?67cf7e6b805100ca

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Lewellyn stopped his 13aad226da hand and quietly d27e12e73a observed Shavonne. After a 50136375cf moment, he c005de99ac deliberately narrowed bfb14c2e3b his eyes 325291fa8c and wrinkled 7296b12ad6 his nose a62352b1d3 playfully.fbdcbc46bd7eb9ab

“You’re terrible. I already knew it, but you’re really terrible, Mr. Shavonne. So mean.”063038d0f6dc2c66

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Finally, Shavonne had 669796ea3d to force out 727bd63b45 some words. His voice was 00cf9717ff harsh.ee0d4de4ef03259a

“…I have some sense of shame.”ed84844139f42ec8

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“Do you? I had no idea.”63033faa76ece957

“…Lewellyn, what can I possibly say? No, what do you want me to say?”ca2c1c3ff8c5cb60

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“I don’t know, anything?”4715d9fe2fe9db76

There was only one 7d9f1728c4 thing he could say.2ff1f814b9ec6243

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“I’m sorry.”a3e0b3b7ab591f6e

“Not that. Something else.”e89283a29350f7e0

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He could only do that. Apart from ‘I’m sorry,’ there was only one other thing Shavonne could say.0e3c96afa34bf4cb

“I want to apologize for giving you sleeping pills without any warning.”180a1fa6c145ed66

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“Not that. Something else.”c33d6b7a813b006c

Lewellyn made fbc5913874 a gesture d4a3c961c4 of waving 30149fb437 his hand 3d6bf292aa dismissively.05557984616e95fe

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When you do something wrong, you should apologize. That’s common sense. But is it really right for the perpetrator to apologize when the victim doesn’t want it?The question flashed through 27db405926 his mind. Shavonne closed 2ff0d00698 his mouth. His throat 230c209441 hurt as 52fd3f6395 if the ce67579279 thorn stuck 93b3369bd8 in his 0217f3f5d8 throat had 44f18e9d60 grown larger.68a37b67cdc32aa3

“…Shackles, you said.”ce8e9767acfc60f0

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Was it because his throat was strained? Shavonne’s voice came out hoarse. Lewellyn laughed. He seemed to find it amusing that Shavonne had mentioned the shackles.06c19507d10443a1

“You don’t like the idea?”b8ceb261f537c5eb

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Starting with putting on shackles and ending with demolishing all the stairs in the Ira apartment building. Lewellyn recited all the various ways he would keep Shavonne from leaving, whether they were feasible or not. Shavonne thought that maybe Lewellyn wasn’t speaking because he wanted to, just as Shavonne wasn’t listening because he wanted to. Perhaps Lewellyn was doing his best to divert attention so that Shavonne couldn’t blame himself.bcf8d6756e3c70be

As he looked at Lewellyn, gradually all the sounds in the world faded away. It felt distant. He could see Lewellyn’s lips moving busily, but he couldn’t hear his voice.14b4626c646f1505

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Shavonne wanted to a8b6070106 hold onto Lewellyn 8da76f0c82 by any means df23522070 necessary. He wanted 03e56842eb to put 68374b7286 shackles on aceec5dacc him as 484e3a6c17 Lewellyn had 2cffa49c26 said, and 4da9ad7bdc he wanted 732c2d1058 to demolish 20c4029a79 all the e6cfeff38e stairs in d0a44d4f01 the Ira 0cdb55c753 apartment building. But in the end, 81dd48b170 he knew that Lewellyn 9adad2e3f8 would leave someday. He knew he 90b5ccb127 would.a6ce0a9e5c2a891d

I know I 4403c5a314 will be left 73e5fe01bf alone.b09aa68aa7ecf91c

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The growing thorn blocked Shavonne’s airway. He couldn’t breathe as if a transparent, enormous hand was choking him. Beyond the window, five in the morning was breaking into a blue dawn. A silent suffocation enveloped the room.78894164e3d5112e

***d77aae617c0bad57

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After going to a clinic, you have to pay the clinic fee. Shavonne only realized this obvious fact just before leaving for the Ira apartment building with Lewellyn. The doctor, who was standing as if to say ‘shouldn’t you pay the clinic fee before you go?’, had a face that had never even considered the possibility that Inspector Allium Cepa might have gone without a single penny.c1592d37b41c12bc

What a fiasco. Shavonne’s face stiffened. He didn’t have a penny. In his haste to leave the house, he hadn’t thought to bring his wallet. Under normal circumstances, he would have identified himself, said he’d come back to pay later or asked for the bill to be sent to his home address, but now that he had lied about being an inspector, he couldn’t do that.0628f0f39588f38d

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While Shavonne was at a loss for what to do, the doctor said, “Don’t you have cash? If not…” and then handed him a piece of paper with a pen on top. It seemed he wanted Shavonne to write down the home address where the bill should be sent. Shavonne held the pen awkwardly, not knowing what to write. If he wrote a fake address, an innocent household would have to pay it, and if he wrote his real address, the doctor would know he was fooled.4ab76ecaa5bfbb82

“Inspector Cepa?”8150a558bac537c2

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The doctor tilted his ed46857fab head. A puzzled look was 1dba204e57 spreading across his round 8306ad878a face. Just as 86919be4a5 Shavonne was eeb28b2200 wondering about e5b7e58422 what to a1185f00a3 do, a 4a0d6a52aa hand reached ca2b05d2c0 out from 60cf23adce behind him 6a270fe1ce and snatched d68b324cdf the pen 1dd9007b2b he was 93c2ea3ad4 holding. It also took c73140e705 the paper he 73aa28b4c7 was holding. Then.9b20acc5cb6af589

“I’ll write it.”c97b4a4823dc0806

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It was Lewellyn. He started writing an address on the paper. As Shavonne had hoped, it was an unfamiliar address. Judging by the name ‘Iroph Storage,’ it fortunately didn’t seem to be a private residence.d7cacdadcae6e743

Lewellyn told the doctor to collect the money there. The doctor, upon receiving the paper, showed a questioning look, saying, “But this isn’t a private residence address?” Lewellyn replied in a casual tone while putting the pen back in its holder.c17fefe418ef29fd

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“No, it’s not.”b3c30bcdd895737e

“But you need to tell me where your private residence is so I can…”02cd2fbf51dc9469

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“‘You can’?”c0e134399be93b65

Lewellyn raised an eyebrow. Flustered by the blunt question, the doctor hesitated and couldn’t continue speaking. Lewellyn took his hand off the pen holder.c7c70dfcd880ddeb

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“I can’t tell you. There are too many sketchy individuals coming to seek favors. As you know, our Inspector Cepa is too busy to deal with all the visitors personally.”caaffe6272d67251

Lewellyn’s pronunciation of “Inspector Cepa” was smooth. Glancing at him, Lewellyn looked completely natural, as if there was no problem at all. A faint smile filled his face.ac502c42001c8eb0

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“I’m sure you understand that, don’t you?”62fa7b29e244ed2a

It would be 890bd0f399 impossible to say bd1a17c798 he didn’t after 76a3788b87 the way he 308ce488e9 spoke. Like most people dealing a5d18b21a3 with Lewellyn, the doctor, ff5228ea43 caught up in his dca0e267fb pace, reluctantly nodded in 25a4dd851a agreement.28dc7f0416b08bb5

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“Let’s go, Inspector.”360a5973834b7736

Lewellyn led the way. His face had a slight smile. Shavonne couldn’t smile back. He realized that without Lewellyn, he would have been caught red-handed.eac724376708b7fa

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If Lewellyn wasn’t there. Shavonne wondered what weight Lewellyn’s absence would carry. It would overturn his entire daily life, like losing an eye, or the nose, or the mouth. The thorn in his throat, which he thought had shrunk, began to swell again. The thorn’s presence made his throat tighten.acfdb3a38c39cea6

As soon as they left the clinic, Lewellyn took off his shoes. Shavonne wondered what he was doing, but it turned out Lewellyn intended to put them on Shavonne’s bare feet. Although Shavonne hastily waved his hands in refusal, Lewellyn paid no attention. He bent down, lifted Shavonne’s bare feet covered in scratches, and put the shoes on. “An ‘inspector’ shouldn’t be barefoot,” he said, playfully emphasizing the word ‘inspector.’396de23372d1ca8b

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Shavonne was so e03b844085 surprised that he 6b69f08cc1 stood stiffly in 1a8d0e40df place, but only 1f6504518b for a moment. Belatedly coming to b7bc7ed2f0 his senses, he 45a5d826bd quickly rubbed his b0e04360b1 ankles to take 5a26fafeef off the shoes. Perhaps because he had 9f4c02c27e sprained it while running a00f029c9b with Lewellyn on his 4d98fcbeb3 back at night, his e917c8174c ankle throbbed severely.bf684ad2e50d5d66

“It’s fine. This kind of consideration isn’t necessary…”bf61d50669577a6d

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“If you know it’s a consideration, just wear them without complaining.”833ec4d14b3f419b

Lewellyn raised and lowered his eyebrows lightly. Unable to face him, Shavonne lowered his gaze. Fixing his gaze on Lewellyn’s nape, he replied.84a4a476cc002d05

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“…It seems more logical for only one of us to have scratched feet rather than both of us.”fdef10940d5a893f

“My goodness, I didn’t know Mr, Shavonne was the type to only do logical things. I thought you were definitely not that type, given how many irrational things you do.”ec15c0a4938e2de1

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“I haven’t done anything irrational.”f6d1698449f3aeb7

“In case you didn’t know, the things you’ve done today are typically called irrational actions, Mr. Shavonne.”83bb1a32e0ed392d

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“‘Actions’?”c8a26927df6982b4

The irrational 9b429ac20c action Shavonne 874a32cd96 had in d48b5a9041 mind was 43225e71ce just one: 5a6202233f giving Lewellyn 95b900b532 sleeping pills 9462ca6de8 without any ccd62429a9 warning. When he asked, 89427a9840 Lewellyn counted on c282ff572e his fingers and b075cb900b listed them one e9dc0a8bde by one.96c412d0bd785674

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“First, giving sleeping pills without any warning. Second, coming to the clinic without a penny. Third, lying to the doctor about being an inspector. Fourth, rejecting the shoes your lover personally put on your bare feet.”05780e5698b8c426

Shavonne couldn’t refute. Lewellyn smiled faintly.e93c93f0c5ef94ce

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“Now that you heard all that, don’t you feel like you should wear the shoes?”f034239210fdacbe

“Well, I…”d576971f2b173833

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“If not, don’t say anything. I have no intention of listening.”2f1e25ef85a711e9

So stubborn. After the brief argument, Shavonne said he understood. Lewellyn said, “You should, after how much I’ve tried to persuade you,” not giving an inch, and smiled brightly. Again, Shavonne couldn’t smile back. What would happen if Lewellyn wasn’t there? Would there be anyone else who would give up their shoes for Shavonne, knowing they would end up barefoot themselves?969f674449938c3b

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He couldn’t be sure. Shavonne silently lowered his head. Lewellyn knelt down and brought his hands to Shavonne’s bare feet. The feet that were always clean were now covered in wounds from running through the streets all night.2554dd523aa9e7b7

Lewellyn’s face, which had been staring down blankly, became quite serious. He slowly pressed his lips to the top of Shavonne’s foot and then pulled away. Shavonne flinched at the unexpected action. Noticing this reaction, Lewellyn looked up at Shavonne. He was smiling.f7169d001951b226

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“Because you’re precious.”64ffec606441bf36

Once again. The thorn pierced af011d24b3 his throat.0cbe099e17e4d1ee

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“There’s nothing as precious as you, Mr. Shavonne.”513459b4bdb7f8a0

Precious. It was a word that had never been associated with him from birth until now. Shavonne wasn’t precious. If he had been precious, his parents wouldn’t have abandoned him, and he wouldn’t have been unloved or unadopted at the orphanage. He wouldn’t have been scraping by as a ghostwriter in Ira Street, the poorest slum in Bunch. He wouldn’t have been a complete loner who had never invited or been invited by anyone. He wouldn’t have been lonely.d7bef2ca166f985f

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However, at 0f8bc67d20 that moment, 7a05a20e19 what Shavonne eee42f7366 focused on 27e90f1117 was not 4a2b48b0c7 whether he 9c1edb8116 was actually 9be46ecc23 precious or 5a05d2a799 not.960b8239d53d74ef

If Lewellyn wasn’t there.63249bbc1d731955

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Who would call Shavonne bb09f70842 precious if Lewellyn wasn’t 5c63f22ad7 there?74f139036b0733c4

“…”cce5b68a261812bd

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His throat throbbed with 3f57eaa17e the sting of the a626099cd0 thorn. Despite knowing 0f6d1c4bbb it’d be a5d68ec66f impossible, it 780e383945 felt as f80b024078 if blood 44dbacd437 was flowing 42f08cb19c down his 64ff1c66bd esophagus. Lowering his gaze, the 85f70223f4 shadow cast on the 89dbff3698 floor appeared long and b651d8b5ab thin. Dawn was breaking 3cfd52c0db faintly in the 6cca755c79 distance, but where 323859ccca Shavonne stood was 2af59945ef still dark. It seemed cb658ea155 it would d496918e55 never brighten.3c99b8c22cb6a109

Anyone who has ever 41ccf2c3e1 loved something would know. The deeper the 8a9a6d54ab love, the more 4ba820b1c1 deadly the wound. Wounds made 6c19fcbaa7 the soul 36056a10c8 fester, rot, a8f601c15e and eventually e9e717ca85 had to b7c79ab483 be cut 6845ae33b0 out. There were no exceptions. The evidence 94b3c1c14d was the 03ab3fd80b people all 2dfef0e179 over the 8d95e64dbf world who f03a223b26 had become 89cda0d118 disabled in 3465134618 this way.9be083bdd7f62a3b

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Shavonne decided to love a353372691 Lewellyn less. No more and no 69630156b1 less than just a 4379b07469 little bit a day. As it accumulated, it d7d241f85f would eventually become a ede2ea69d1 far enough distance to 57dbcc46c1 not be hurt even 06a5ef3646 when their love ended.030b5061b37f29b9

He knew he 29d503acb6 would be lonely. But he also b95bc67c7d knew that becoming b25b317f44 lonely was more 927d4ea6e5 painful than being 200ed38250 lonely. Shavonne lacked the 1504f6387d courage to endure d87fe1ee53 the pain. He was ccf443cd5c a coward.0ac70bfdf51e8cf5

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It was an inevitable choice even if the whole world pointed fingers at him, calling him a coward. Because the world wouldn’t ease Shavonne’s pain. It was only Shavonne alone who had to bear the burden.567a3182e422095b

At night, Lewellyn was sound asleep, holding Shavonne. Not panting, not shaking or twisting his head. Not even groaning, “Shavonne, don’t go.” Lewellyn’s explanation was that he didn’t have nightmares when he slept holding Shavonne, or more precisely, when Shavonne’s scent was at the tip of his nose.35abe41ce094a5d0

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He didn’t know if it was true or not. One thing was clear: right now, being held by Lewellyn to sleep, or more precisely, with Lewellyn’s regular breathing in his ear, Shavonne couldn’t fall asleep.0c9920795372eae4

Shavonne lay awake all 79d3cf322a night. It was bdbf9a96f4 the same 29a7a12fb5 the next 66c388c0ea day, and c25cb5825a the day 0193817075 after that.d2d468e6086be973

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Shavonne developed insomnia.2b25f97c904900ce

Anyone at the age of 29 would have experienced not being able to sleep. Shavonne was no different. There was a time when he couldn’t sleep for three days straight, anxious that the publishing company that had commissioned him for ghostwriting might run off with the money. But that was it. Years later, Shavonne was alive and well, sleeping every day.fe3355063916e8cd

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Sometimes he had bad dreams, sometimes good dreams. Of course, there were times when he didn’t dream at all. Insomnia was a temporary pain. It would dull over time and be washed away cleanly like water after several years. Insomnia couldn’t kill a person.64299637a33a5b75

However, there was 47ece19d5d one thing Shavonne c662f313fd overlooked. While insomnia b7651343a6 might not 1b5e23993d be able 97a8b38d58 to kill e34aa0d160 a person, 2b05842387 chronic insomnia 4116e252ad could.dfe975a63c09be41

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He thought it would pass in a day or two. But when it had been a week since he couldn’t sleep, Shavonne had to change his mind. That it might not end in just a day or two. That what he thought was a cold that would go away in two weeks might actually be pneumonia he’d have to live with for the rest of his life. The fear that he might never be able to sleep again like this forever swept through Shavonne’s mind.3849030870f6508d

On the first day of not being able to sleep, Shavonne suffered from extreme drowsiness, and from some point on, his head cleared as if he had become alert. It felt like his brain was racing. ‘Mr. Lewellyn, something’s wrong with my body.’ He was about to say, but remembering his resolution to love Lewellyn less, no more and no less than just a little bit a day, he tightly shut his mouth. This is 734da30deb the first a99e56dacf little bit,he repeated to himself.725eebd35e0642a1

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From the second day, his vision began to shake. The ceiling collapsed and the pillars bent. The typewriter melted. The letters on the manuscript writhed as if they each had life. When he came to his senses, he had dozed off. 3 minutes. Shavonne slept for 3 minutes. As he later found out, Shavonne slept an average of 5 minutes. No matter how much he slept, he couldn’t exceed 20 minutes.214e25aa0dbde864

That day too, Lewellyn, who had slept soundly holding Shavonne, saw Shavonne awake as soon as he opened his eyes. Not thinking that he might not have been able to sleep, he stroked Shavonne’s hair with an alluring smile and whispered,cec8be6bebe0322c

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“Did you wake up early to admire my handsome face? You’re so sly.7b5c45a51b668773

Shavonne was about to say that it was true that he was handsome, but that wasn’t why he woke up early, that he just couldn’t sleep, but he just nodded instead. This is the second 415d90942c little bit,he repeated to 29a5596911 himself.0d05c830ad3305a5

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From the third day, his brain began to turn to mush. His head and body acted separately. His head thought he should do something, but his body wouldn’t follow. One example was when Shavonne cut his finger while slicing bread. Blood flowed, and the blood from his finger even soaked the bread he was holding, but he couldn’t do anything. Because no thoughts came to mind.443729cb4df15034

If Lewellyn hadn’t rushed over calling “Shavonne!” he would have stayed like that. Even while Lewellyn sucked Shavonne’s injured finger, applied medicine, and put on a gauze, Shavonne had no thoughts.5a53c0aababca972

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“What’s wrong? Tell me.”6cc891ecda9e9392

Lewellyn said. Shavonne suppressed the urge to confess and replied, “It’s nothing.” This is the third f167471c1a little bit,he thought to himself.7c852e2a840685a6

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From the eb28ff80b3 fourth day, ac29f32c43 his thoughts 7690853853 began to 3daf5836c4 disintegrate.Sleep, was fd00853833 the first d5b5b7c735 letter of e72eb79dc1 LewellynR or L¹? Is it winter? I should 2e6f6cd9de write the e3c0e4104b manuscript, I ab4ef89171 need to d05a590455 sleep, can a9eb36beeb I love 0de3c40237 Lewellyn less? Will it snow? If this manuscript wins the royal competition…, I need to sleep, feels like there’s a thorn in my throat maybe it’s the typewriter sound, it’s an L, right, if I have money and honor will I get better? What if a homeless person freezes to death in front of a communal housing? There was a corpse in front of the communal housing whose corpse was it? A corpse Lewellyn killed, no, was it R, I can’t love Lewellyn less but I have to love him less what was my name, manuscript, I need to sleep…c4bd01fbde84d6fa

It was around this time that Lewellyn gradually began to notice Shavonne’s insomnia.8046ba398e263692

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“Shavonne, you can’t sleep?”72c1750ea63bd4d7

Lewellyn was worried. His face was pale as if it was Lewellyn, not Shavonne, who hadn’t slept for four days.7c5998ee6598da26

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“Is it because I’m holding you while sleeping? Do I talk in my sleep?”b48b77e0581cd9d6

“No. You don’t.”d7ae3ec54d15d9e0

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“Should I stay awake until you fall asleep? Should I read you a book? Or sing you a lullaby?”d07df833e01a7a5b

“It’s fine.”b9571d554df8a234

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“You don’t like 《Cous Cous》 or 《Yellow, Yellow, Yellow Squirrel》? What do you want to hear? I’ll sing for you. What would you like me to do? No, how can I help you?”68dd63da18dce393

Lewellyn was desperate. Shavonne was about to say he’d like Lewellyn to do everything he could, but stopped. Sharing the burden was no different from enlarging Lewellyn’s place. The larger Lewellyn’s place became, the larger the empty space Shavonne would have to endure when left alone in the future. Shavonne looked down at the floor, avoiding Lewellyn’s gaze, and then spoke. “I’d like you to do nothing.” This is the ae59bb6d85 fourth little bit,he thought 05fc83cab9 to himself.9a3d253b995c714a

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From the fifth day, having a conversation became impossible. If Lewellyn said, “Shavonne. You look sick,” each word – Shavonne, look, sick – would be input into Shavonne’s head. Then it would tear. As if someone had ripped a piece of paper to shreds.b49ef0ef0248d797

“Will there really be a war? The Daily Bunch said so.” Shavonne answered. Lewellyn silently looked at Shavonne. Perhaps because Lewellyn hadn’t been able to sleep since realizing Shavonne’s insomnia, his eyes were bright red with burst blood vessels. Shavonne pretended not to notice. This is the fifth ae7725b357 little bit,he thought to d521fa4d99 himself.9400b328a80cf6b4

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From the sixth day, he couldn’t write. To be precise, he only then realized that he couldn’t write. To be clear, Shavonne hadn’t gone to work for the past six days. He had sent a telegram saying he would be writing at home for a week because he had to take care of a sick dog, and Turner, although reluctant, had agreed.279facd1668fe475

It was a strange thing. It was Turner who had said the reason for writing in the multifamily residential was due to security issues, but he didn’t object at all as if he had forgotten it himself.fcc3262d31e44a53

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Shavonne dismissed c68f4bad10 it as c911f53263 consideration. He only 1bb501ee95 thought about eb4d581516 repaying with 7d0da7f330 an excellent c92c55e657 manuscript in 74c2edd46c six days. But now, the manuscript b16f638101 Shavonne had written for 835f6b48ff six days had become b3f761e739 scrap. Not only was the c0627eadb9 content so incoherent that 3f986dc6d0 it was incomprehensible, but bbc6b58484 all the sentences were 3a366366ff wrong too. It was a mess. When speech disintegrated, writing 6d66b792e6 was impossible. In a 560fb2a8ba way, he c9e871ff7a had already bd764b1e2c expected that 15118e6d65 result.b20c420704bce2c5

From that day, Shavonne began to make desperate efforts to sleep. He took a lower-body bath and drank a warm glass of milk before bed. He couldn’t go for a walk because he couldn’t control his body. Instead, he circled the house three times, groping along the walls.89978a95b47ce8a8

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Despite all efforts, Shavonne couldn’t sleep. Wanting to at least faint, he banged his head against the wall when Lewellyn wasn’t looking, but he didn’t faint.cd28b421ddda4b4f

He couldn’t get sleeping pills either. According to what he heard, because the price was astronomical and the distributed amount was minimal, only nobles or those connected to nobles could get them. He was about to ask for advice from Lewellyn, who was unexpectedly knowledgeable in various fields, but gave up. This is the 1b1ada4478 sixth little bit,he thought to 9ca7bcec05 himself.18f8c4530951028c

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On the seventh day, Shavonne tried to go out. “Look in the mirror. If I don’t accompany you, you’ll surely be mistaken for a severe drug addict and locked up in jail,” Lewellyn insisted on going together, so Shavonne snuck out of the house when Lewellyn wasn’t looking.5b343f8baae7298d

Of course, knowing that he might not be able to control his body, he drank ten cups of coffee to help with alertness. Just in case it wasn’t enough, he even borrowed and smoked a cigarette from the janitor.d8e3fbbf4479d202

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It was effective. It couldn’t not have an effect, as he coughed so hard his face turned bright red with each puff of the cigarette. Throughout the walk, Lewellyn’s pale face kept flickering before his eyes, but he pushed it away. This is beae9def96 the seventh c55b590cff little bit,he thought e7b9be17ef to himself.18216a92babac7e3

The place Shavonne 6a5890cda6 went to was aed97caa74 the multifamily complex.5a7e04f229c136c5

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“How come you’ve shown up to work without notice…”7000c166afecb1d5

Turner, who was ca2db4b4c1 absentmindedly opening the c76a0a2b53 door, stopped mid-sentence. His disheveled face, 4ea92d255f as if he 5da3405ab9 had just woken 5a742bf04a up, showed a 8f08ac907d hint of bewilderment.4a1c1a245ef62938

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“Why do you look like that?”03136cbf4d9218a8

Sunken face and eyes, c1290414ac bloodshot red from lack f3885e6ad3 of sleep. On top of that, 8ab6d12371 Shavonne had become extremely 57b9a1a70b thin in a week. He was 21e1173c6d so emaciated 74ee4c7bdf that it 289f7d82a1 seemed like 3d356c09d3 his bones 318118263d might creak 1cdcb9578b with the 2b7033a825 slightest movement.7ddc4ea3730642f9

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Shavonne didn’t feel the need to explain the circumstances in detail. He didn’t have the energy for it either. The effects of ten cups of coffee and the cigarette seemed to have worn off, and his consciousness was already wavering. Terrible drowsiness. But he didn’t allow himself to sleep.5167784994349913

“Mr. Turner.”8833ec5bc9708671

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His voice was so 2639f5a4c6 hoarse and cracked that f4fb3ff9b8 it could hardly be 6ea1aec535 thought of as human. Turner adjusted his posture baa981099b and looked at Shavonne 9c1dfff535 as if to say, e7c90003ee ‘speak’.f05fadfd42cc5bff

Shavonne felt his vision blurring. A week of insomnia had driven Shavonne’s mind to the brink. It seemed as if wind was blowing from somewhere. Below the steep cliff. The wind of death, blowing from a black hole so deep its bottom couldn’t be seen.09565b8fd6453bdd

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“The sleeping pills you gave me last time…, do you have any more?”fbfc9a42a9a9a9b8

While insomnia might c350b47157 not be able 15c45951ca to kill a bcf7a5a5a6 person, chronic insomnia c307d5057e could. He had ec4bf85f07 already had 9e11163b59 enough.6d0144cf13307024

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***dca9526206ae27fc

Of course, he hadn’t asked for sleeping pills without taking any precautions.3d9519601bfe7fa0

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Those sleeping dab9a878c8 pills had d0150259b3 almost killed 496f13e6ff someone. If it had been c367163497 something he had just 57aeb5ae6c heard as a rumor, 3e03110750 he might have let 21ec1fcb24 it slide, but not fbca356534 this time. He had clearly seen 41372ffc2e with his own eyes bdfd8a0d5d Lewellyn unable to open 9b8430bca1 his eyes for ten 0e923d7d4b hours after taking the fc3ab6ea76 sleeping pill.7fec900857a0fe77

Turner wouldn’t have given Shavonne the sleeping pills to harm him. There was no reason to, and if he had, he should have shown some disappointment when he saw Shavonne still breathing normally. There were two possibilities. Either the sleeping pills were strange or Lewellyn was strange.be7906955f713bd7

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Tak.Shavonne came to his 9e1ecbe1bb senses at the sound b7ea29720e of something being placed 6be00cc2b8 on the bedside table. He must have dozed 42aa9872c8 off without realizing it. Whenever his body b3298d486d stopped for even e19c178d2f a minute, a d715fc98c6 terrible drowsiness would a84741790a come over him, 9f23063a21 making his head 752019deb0 feel soggy.5b716e03aac157c8

What was placed 3d1bded3a1 on the bedside 2aff24ad94 table was water dd2166d227 and sleeping pills. He recognized them as eecca04ea0 they were the same 105a6b7d7d ones from last time. Before picking up the cdab092f24 medicine, Shavonne asked a 46b8feebb4 question that he absolutely 3e90dbb671 needed an answer to.b75731e46cfcd4c5

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“These pills… do they have any side effects?”b3700b09df6bbc5d

Turner frowned. As if the word “side effects” was as unpleasant as death, war, or ruin.e25918ebf9ba8d75

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“No. Not for normal people.”1fa7ab40890f42b0

He didn’t seem to be lying. However, Shavonne couldn’t hastily set aside his suspicion. The image of Lewellyn unable to open his eyes for ten hours was too vivid to shake off his suspicion with just a word from Turner.affdfd56b8f45683

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“You don’t believe me?”e8f4e7a8930d0fbd

Turner was perceptive.ad1d57e96a1fc3e6

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Shavonne nodded. If he didn’t believe it, he had to say so. There was no reason to lie. “Hmm.” Turner raised his chin and looked at Shavonne. His thoughts were impossible to read. Every time the gaze swept over Shavonne’s face, an indescribable, uncomfortable feeling crept up.d2c53b896b29eeba

“Are you allergic d3c63b3f73 to seafood?”70d7990c69ea7c51

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“No.”fd912d0b28f0da64

“How about peaches?”f24f5a471c22b23c

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“No.”1089cb1aa0cfc8f9

“Walnuts?”6a7dccc73d49c69e

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“No.”e66218c0d8f5af7e

“Do you have an abnormal physical condition?”84144df22cf38f43

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Abnormal physical condition?3e3ec4f5662274b9

“A condition where you have hypersensitive reactions to all medications. I read  that when you have it, you can’t develop ani intolerance. It was in the newspaper. Don’t you know?”e03baa820bb36bf3

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An abnormal physical b3cb19ad2a condition. A condition 136f46c3a0 where one e34d62ac5b doesn’t develop cf510a14d6 any tolerance 1e99172d57 and has 1e7a549b91 hypersensitive reactions 462d05e232 to all 1603e88dca medications. Far from not 67ccbaadea developing tolerance, Shavonne 5a3678fc2e frequently was in 7fc3908ca2 trouble because he 9bdc276acd developed tolerance too e7409506f0 quickly. Of course, he had 11b4f8666e never had a hypersensitive c208247f90 reaction. Shavonne didn’t have 7ff69a9da5 an abnormal physical a697c67d9a condition. Like 99 percent 1def7084d9 of people, he cd085f105d was normal.c53df62cb0bdd8f8

But what about 7aba98a608 Lewellyn?fb4da0d4fe4fcb45

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Could Lewellyn have an ‘abnormal physical condition’?755caf3fafa00e88

“Do you have an abnormal physical condition?”393055722b658a85

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It was then that Turner’s question wedged into his thoughts. Shavonne answered that he didn’t.17febe74f5874328

“Then you can take it without worry.”4088ca13edf1dc21

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Turner concluded. When Shavonne didn’t respond, he shrugged his shoulders as if seeking agreement, saying, “right?” Shavonne just stared at Turner with a cold face. Turner let out a long, audible sigh.4e11101abe418f0d

“Now I understand what kind of assurance you want, Mr. Shavonne. If it weren’t you, I would never have gone this far, but well, since it’s Mr. Shavonne.”75e798af5b8a7eb4

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Since it’s Mr. Shavonne. It was a familiar phrase. Until meeting Lewellyn, he was used to the world’s judgment of “It can’t be done because it’s Shavonne,” and after meeting Lewellyn, he got used to Lewellyn’s boasting of “I’ll do it because it’s Mr. Shavonne.”bf34b0ae51811cef

Shavonne had never thought that boasting was irritating. If someone does something nice for you, a little boasting is fine. He thought he could get over it with gratitude. That is, until now, before facing Turner’s arrogant boasting.ca296ce43f417a88

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Turner’s ‘since it’s Mr. Shavonne’ sounded like ‘since you’re as incompetent as an animal, I have to help you’ with the tone he used. Far from feeling cared for, Shavonne felt like he had become something less than human. Even in the terrible drowsiness that made his consciousness flicker, he was clearly offended.90993bac0a1d776a

Turner picked up f2560bf130 the sleeping pill. He split it, mixed 557f2da19d it with water, and dc954aee21 drank it. The glass, emptied cleanly 48395583fd without a drop of dc20206293 water left, was quickly aab240c3c0 placed in front of 685638b445 him. While Shavonne was acb223c77f dumbfounded by such 8d9fb185b4 unexpected action, Turner c0bda107bd smiled and spoke.55d461aa4651f4ba

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“I’ll wake up in three hours from now at the shortest, four hours at the longest.”854bef999bc70fce

Am I mistaken? Turner’s finger brushed past the back of Shavonne’s hand. Shavonne stiffened, startled. It was just a brief touch, so brief it was embarrassing to even call it a moment, but the discomfort persisted even after the finger left. It felt like a worm that looked like Turner’s finger was crawling up his skin.c237d72ec2ea36b4

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Shavonne swallowed hard, trying 4fb174cb60 to suppress the rising 8c9c082515 anger. Maybe it was because e1a828c7a4 Shavonne was oversensitive from ecf3344c10 lack of sleep.Right. Right now, Shavonne’s condition was so bad that he wanted to curse even at the sight of a window or fallen leaves rolling on the street.b7f0ad9f9b5ddbce

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he tried to suppress his emotions. Shavonne desperately reminded himself that Turner was the lifeline that would give him money, honor, Lewellyn, and a future where he could be happy. He couldn’t afford to be on bad terms with his only fan and only editor. Moreover, wasn’t Turner the only person giving him sleeping pills? Getting on bad terms was even more out of the question.1d60a21db752a96b

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Endure it.Shavonne thought 4c975f6bd4 that was fd58a94588 the best 0a9a158224 choice for bd0704f985 himself. Unfortunately, he did.7dfb2d1722f5495f

“You’ll wake me up, right?”e6603619fd2b89c8

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As if they were secret lovers, Turner gave a secretive smile. Shavonne didn’t respond. His Adam’s apple just bobbed painfully.ef41a679d687d429

While Turner was asleep, Shavonne searched for and read the newspaper article about the abnormal physical condition. After a week’s worth of drowsiness, the letters seemed to be shattering in front of his eyes, so he couldn’t easily process the content. Shavonne read the newspaper article aloud to drive away sleep and clearly grasp the content of the article at the same time.ccedf5f46377ea02

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However, when reading the middle part, his mouth was shut tight without him realizing it, and by the time he finished reading, his heart was pounding. The throbbing sound reached to the tips of his fingers and toes. Although he couldn’t understand the technical terms, the words “total or partial pigment deficiency,” “body coldness,” and “abnormal hypersensitivity to medicine” strongly penetrated his mind.5d9eb96b69fa00b0

Pale white skin and golden eyes, a body so cold it made one startled when touched, someone that couldn’t wake up for ten hours after taking 3mg of sleeping pills – these images swept through his mind one after another. A chill ran through him.ac635af3ee39b1f1

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Just then, the bell rang announcing twelve o’clock. Before Shavonne could even go to the bedroom, Turner woke up at the sound of the bell. Seeing Shavonne at the doorway, he joked.da993bd33334fe4f

“The bell woke me up. I truly believed you would wake me up, Mr. Shavonne.”2c3e49eac3a6e290

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Good complexion, clear eyes, and except for being slightly hoarse from just waking up, his voice was also nice. There was nothing different from usual in Turner’s appearance as he lay in bed. Either the sleeping pills were strange, or Lewellyn was strange. It was the moment when a wedge was driven into the thought that had leaned towards the latter after finishing reading the newspaper article.54d7b44f90b051a5

Turner gestured for Shavonne to come closer. When Shavonne did, he suddenly said, “Will you help me up?” and held out both hands. Shavonne felt the discomfort he thought he had swallowed rising again. His Adam’s apple bobbed.ef98a4b875df5fd9

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“…Can’t you get up on your own?” Even though he spoke without hiding his displeasure, Turner didn’t seem to care and just said, “I took sleeping pills that I didn’t even need to take because of you, and you can’t even help me up?”0f4df7b8978eca21

Shavonne didn’t want to argue, so he silently helped Turner up. Disgusted by the thought of holding his hand, he grabbed Turner’s wrist, which was covered by his shirt. An unpleasant warmth touched him. It felt sticky, as if he had touched rotten plants. Hw thought for a moment how he wanted to wash away the persistent displeasure.5a3fe85cabb9f2cd

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After returning home, Shavonne took 0.5mg of sleeping pills. He slept for 30 minutes. When he took 1mg, he slept for an hour. When he woke up, there was nothing unusual. If anything was new, it was just the refreshing feeling. 2mg, 3mg, 4mg… Gradually increasing the amount, that night, Shavonne slept for eight hours without any dreams. It was a sweet, deep sleep.f9c01684357f725f

Starting with the good night’s sleep on the day he took the sleeping pills, Shavonne’s discomfort due to insomnia began to gradually resolve. By the time he had been taking them for a week, he was back to normal. His vision didn’t shake, his head and body didn’t act separately, and his thoughts didn’t disintegrate. He could have smooth conversations, and writing flowed easily. It seemed like his condition had improved even more than before taking the sleeping pills. Even if it was only for a moment.7a2fca8c6baca7b9

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***faba5d8baa255ec8

He was busy.b39d0338ae045b67

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The royal contest was right around the corner, but the novel wasn’t finished. It wasn’t because Shavonne had failed to meet the schedule. As a former ghostwriter who would be immediately cut off if he didn’t meet deadlines, Shavonne was skilled at adhering to schedules. He even finished the manuscript two weeks earlier than scheduled, considering the possibility that the schedule might be moved up due to unavoidable circumstances. The problem was elsewhere.b5c3699e9dda2aba

“Hmm, I don’t like this page.”a7f7026d644db06f

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Turner pointed to one page. Page 272. It wasn’t possible to ignore the advice of Turner, an 8-year veteran editor with a sharp eye for writing. Although it left a bitter taste in his mouth as it was a page he had put a lot of effort into, he decided to revise it. As Turner demanded immediate revision, he couldn’t return home on time. Shavonne told him that he had to return home on time because his pet was waiting, but Turner just scoffed.17f38afadacf4d82

“It won’t die just because you’re three hours late.”a40bf8d1640914af

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Shavonne said nothing. A thought crossed 5be56d9468 his mind:are all people who d1020f4c64 are both fans and 05d0818d32 editors so harsh? When he finished the revisions and hurried home, it was ten o’clock at night. As expected, Lewellyn was waiting for him. He must have come out when it wasn’t dark yet, as he was dressed lightly, walking around the front of the apartment building in that state.df0cc8e324b1a89f

Shavonne bit his lip. Anger welled up. Anger towards Lewellyn, and anger towards himself for making Lewellyn wait. Without warning, he grasped Lewellyn’s wrist tightly and led him into the building.72806cfc310d9ff1

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“Come in.”d585bdcc8ea66644

His voice cracked. The veins stood out on his neck as he tried not to show his emotions. As he held and led him, Lewellyn’s arm felt like sand in his grip. Sand that seemed like it might slip through his fingers at any moment. Perhaps it already was and when he opened his hand later, there would be nothing except for the red and blue marks on his palm from clenching his hand with all his might.6a5feaf60b3de493

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The image of empty, scarred hands wouldn’t leave his mind. Shavonne spoke in a heavy voice.eaf9291b0c500fa0

“…Don’t wait for me.”26fbd0699c61a559

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There was no answer. He hadn’t expected him to simply say yes, but when there was no response at all, his lips burned for no reason.49df0f622b102e9c

“Work has gotten busy. The royal contest is the day after tomorrow…”d02d77994c178f2c

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Shavonne trailed off. It suddenly occurred to 66aacb617a him that he had 0f481b794f never told Lewellyn about 77389352dc the royal contest before.Should I explain 6dfb3c5fb2 the situation in e439102320 detail or just 87fd8fc3bb give some general a8edea808b information? Which one will f0242ebd6f make me feel e5c97b15bf less pain when 6becf5b3eb Lewellyn is no c3f942c6ef longer by my be913ab81f side in the e46b956f66 future? His steps slowed as he thought. It was then that Lewellyn’s response came abruptly.c2967d6877a71abf

“Alright.”937ebda564d65c8f

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His steps halted.6ffe0dfae06d780b

“I won’t wait.”d6abb686cf6e74d0

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He tried to turn around, but couldn’t. He felt that if he turned around, all the efforts Shavonne had made so far to love Lewellyn less would come to nothing.46f63161c34f6a29

One bit, two bits, three bits, the thirty bits of distance he had painfully created would be closed in an instant. He would hug him, press their cheeks together, kiss his lips, love Lewellyn, and then… a future without Lewellyn would come. Shavonne knew that future would hurt him. Shavonne would be in pain. To an extent he could hardly bear.6a8f4774f5412b26

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He deliberately reminded 1fd93214df himself of this 2921b3b6a9 fact. He needed to avoid b463c71970 loving Lewellyn blindly. Shavonne knew that 8d7e354f86 the more blind 49238bfd3d the love, the 0bcdd8fd42 greater it would ae6015c25c hurt. He must e791a23850 not become 5d98207645 foolish.5ad2e7ea5ba00bef

“Alright.”5a15ebb200a0688c

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Shavonne’s voice ec36571e03 sounded robotic 7242f5fc3e as he e5ad64b881 replied.0c269fd558d2f201

What if Shavonne had turned to look at Lewellyn then? If he had, he would have seen that Lewellyn’s wrist had turned pale white from being held too tightly. If he had let go, Lewellyn’s wrist wouldn’t have swollen red in the shape of his hand. If it hadn’t swollen, that night, Lewellyn wouldn’t have spent all night touching his swollen wrist. He wouldn’t have tried to find Shavonne’s warmth in his swollen wrist, not daring to touch the sleeping Shavonne.fb9f8b1b8dd0849b

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But Shavonne didn’t turn to look at Lewellyn. Not even his shadow did.f97b75a86fc57927

***1f7941f7c591ccfe

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A stack of manuscripts was thrown before his eyes. 272 pages. The page number scribbled on the front page was clear. Shavonne looked up at Turner with an expression demanding an explanation. Turner began, “I’ve been thinking,” What an ominous beginning.c3c120c882540435

“I think it’s better unedited than edited. Let’s go with the version you first wrote, Mr. Shavonne. And.”fc5eec0c394d7816

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Shavonne looked f6193dd8f3 at Turner. Turner was busy turning ec64e0c3c9 the pages of the 6c494974ab manuscript, wetting his fingers a1b2da2cae with saliva. There was 562f7cf85d no apology cbb8c45c09 for making 40928002d8 him work d46940b9d2 in vain.fe74b91904f95022

“Chapter 3 has a very poor quality. How should I put it… it’s old fashioned, cliché. The princess hosting this royal competition detests old fashioned novels, and I’m not sure that this writing will be worthy of a ‘meteor’.”38dc930a07e6e86a

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Chapter 3 wasn’t just a one or two page chapter. It was the longest chapter in the novel, spanning a full hundred pages. Ignoring how the words ‘poor quality’, ‘old fashioned’, and ‘cliché’ dug into his bones, Shavonne asked,77d45eec0af86b74

“Which part of Chapter 3?”c02282d30ed62487

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Turner shrugged his shoulders a89da47447 up and down as ae6c55d005 if to say‘you don’t even know that?’and answered,d8971bcb98f3cb6d

“All of it.”2f82b5a152c9f8ea

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There were only two weeks remaining. To revise ‘all’ of Chapter 3 within that time, the given working hours were far from enough. Shavonne looked down at the stack of pages of the manuscript. He saw the letters crammed in without any margins. Over that, he saw an image of himself returning home at midnight. The image of Lewellyn alone until midnight also flickered before his eyes. He didn’t notice how he started biting his lips.26b24d4b7f560eaa

“Why don’t you eat, sleep, and work here for a while? I’m sure it will help you cut down on your work time by a lot.”c9fede6e46ac2657

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Shavonne refused. Only after seeing Turner’s face turn red and blue did he have the belated regret of ‘I should have pretended to think about it before refusing.’Turner immediately questioned 917832dcfd him. His tone b2f8698dc6 was accusatory, 53036bc728 as if 393deb8ec5 Shavonne had 1fc9dbea20 said something 46a84629bd wrong.7108d4dc9debc2d0

“Why? Is it because of the dog? You can just ask the neighbor to feed it.”cf225fffd0a4b9d4

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Shavonne didn’t bother to mention the fact that the ‘dog’ had nightmares if Shavonne wasn’t there to hold him. Instead, he said,ebf16a67ae219f06

“I don’t know my neighbors, so it’s not like I can ask them for favors.”5f5c823cd79ed5db

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Returning late was better than staying out all night. Shavonne insisted on leaving work at midnight. When Turner grumbled something, he said he would come to work two hours earlier if he judged he might not meet the deadline on time. Only then did Turner close his mouth. His sullen expression didn’t disappear. Shavonne pretended not to see and buried his nose in the stack of manuscripts.2c9a92b625501b2d

At midnight, Ira Street changed. It’s quiet, and devoid of people except for prostitutes looking for night customers. The only lights are the gas lamps standing here and there, and even those barely work properly, leaving the street dark. The shadow of Shavonne walking home was filled with fatigue.32af5a3fbb338cb6

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He thought ‘Maybe he’s…’, but the front of the Ira apartment building was empty. There was no one loitering, waiting for someone. Shavonne wondered what the ‘maybe’ he had unconsciously thought of meant. Was that him expecting that maybe Lewellyn was waiting for him, or anxiety that maybe Lewellyn was waiting for him? He couldn’t tell himself.f370ecbe2e94051e

Room 303 was pitch 507de50009 black without a single 5d53cd64ea light. Whenever he came c9a606a412 home, Lewellyn always 4e2cf5fdf4 used to come b81571c231 running out breathlessly, 8ad4624f3c but today there 54eba4aaa4 was no sign 92468e71dd of him coming de568475b7 to greet him.He must be sleeping. Surprisingly, there were no sounds of heavy breathing, as if he wasn’t having a nightmare.f248ae5a90765ee7

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Having made this premature judgment, Shavonne muffled his movements to avoid waking Lewellyn. He didn’t turn on the lights. He walked slowly to prevent his footsteps from making noise, and carefully took off his coat to avoid the rustling. Even when he bumped into the corner of a piece of furniture while moving, he didn’t let out a groan.76aab8a24ff1d877

Then…4757746aeefc073c

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“Doesn’t it hurt?”ad6d5dc7cbbb9098

The voice came from a place that wasn’t the bed. It was dark and there was no movement, so he hadn’t noticed, but a familiar shadow was standing in front of the work desk.c72ec19a5fbafca0

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“I thought you were sleeping.”88a2641daaa9b7a3

He spoke, unable to hide his surprised expression. He hadn’t particularly expected an answer, but the shadow hesitated for a moment. An unexpected reply came a moment later.714b3ef45aec45b4

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“…I’ll be careful.”359755a17421a2f9

He was perplexed.No, that’s not what I meant…, he hurriedly e5bde021b3 waved his hand 7faf217a34 when suddenly a 52fdb7761a possibility struck his 1e577f3e35 mind. Shavonne stopped.Maybe…f9440be7a919fb2e

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“Were you waiting for me?”ed7ff33c1c34ee99

He saw Lewellyn quickly shaking his head in the darkness. “No.” He said deliberately, as if trying to look certain. “I wasn’t.”640ce09a9fb52a27

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When Shavonne just stared silently, Lewellyn added again. Like a child afraid that everything would fly away with one word. In the same voice that had answered ‘I’ll be careful.’dd544992d221752c

“…Really.”3d99abc4d73e0ef2

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He couldn’t believe him, but decided not to point it out. Shavonne turned on the light. He took out a cushion from the bag he was carrying. It wasn’t as neat as the cushions in Turner’s house. It was closer to a rag patched up in some parts. He had bought it from a textile shop just before it closed, and perhaps because he had stuffed something as big as a three year old child into it, it looked quite shabby.309c41a391c09c51

He was about to hug him, but instead leaned the cushion against the desk next to Lewellyn. Lewellyn showed no interest. He didn’t even glance at it, though he might have. Lewellyn was only looking at Shavonne. Shavonne fiddled with the edge of the cushion. The boundary between the patched rags and the cloth felt rough.58ff37d275529fc0

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“When I’m not here, hug this while you sleep.”4bc6309446c2883c

He wanted to avoid creating such situations as much as possible, but he thought it might be necessary if he had to stay out overnight due to work. Shavonne didn’t want Lewellyn to have nightmares. Especially if it was a nightmare where he would mutter in his sleep, ‘Shavonne, don’t go.’ He couldn’t be sure if the cushion would help or not, but he couldn’t just do nothing.c26327f8cf3bf539

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“Okay.”2cfaf53e0b0f68ab

Lewellyn’s voice fell from above his head. It was heavy.02586d0cf8a9f548

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“I will.”65954468dbc92424

However, Lewellyn’s eyes were still fixed on Shavonne as he said this. Not even the edge of his gaze touched the cushion that he said he would hug in place of Shavonne when he wasn’t there.2796ca7074379cde

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Shavonne let 544706f54c go of 07a80df339 the cushion. The rough sensation was c2a8e963b7 gone. As if he 8c451df8a4 had never touched 68e0ae215e it at all.63a1c8ccdf3556c8

When I’m not here, hug this while you sleep.d77bc5f93d361894

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It was as he 9be98550d4 had expected when he 680bb35feb heard those words.5e536f64dc8ae46b

Shavonne’s return home got later each day. Starting from ten at night, it passed midnight and extended to three in the morning. Sometimes he even returned home at dawn. When he came home, Shavonne would check if Lewellyn was sleeping, take his medicine, and sleep for anywhere from four hours at most to one hour at least.e85bc6a6dbce0a47

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Shavonne would gaze down at the sleeping Lewellyn. That was all. In the past, he might have stroked his hair, kissed him, or hugged him, but now he didn’t. As if he shouldn’t touch Lewellyn, he would only vainly fiddle with the edge of the blanket covering Lewellyn, and that was all. Even that happened maybe once out of ten times.f0e6bf66413c0c6a

Every time, dec22b13e9 Lewellyn wanted 7b44792d9f to ask.Why don’t you stroke my hair? Why don’t you kiss or hug me? Why… are you cold, then warm, then cold again? But he couldn’t ask. Because Lewellyn was always sleeping. Or to be more precise, because he was pretending to sleep.71d1049e32fddbee

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Lewellyn pretended not 01eb268150 to wait for 9222fe2cc8 Shavonne, pretended to 600a4d292b sleep hugging the 7c4ced61ae cushion. Because Shavonne d49588a7ed had told b4b0bcfca8 him to. If Shavonne had told 6a2d95b2f3 Lewellyn to burn his cc3e144c9b own face or cut b08a14744e both his wrists, Lewellyn 02c2268759 would have done so.a68a580e6a01a7be

A warm day, a cf512b981d cold day, a warm b3a8e76204 day, a cold day.f5be028191845f06

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Lewellyn knew that 3845775ea0 it meant the f0c7f71e72 black universe was ed0377cf75 approaching.31fe8fafddf66760

Never.803bdbf5296e8584

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Not even once.d8ba0339bd58a726

The sound of rain. Blurring vision. Shavonne’s back gradually moving away.1fae0a8d497baa2b

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And the black universe 7716ba367c that swallowed it all.7f34c91e403a1f2d

Now, the a14a496052 only thing 5648acaf1d Lewellyn could 74d1cfc22d do to 629c72d998 avoid being 63e8778469 swallowed was ceff02018d to find 83f9225a2f the cause 71c2f293f2 of the af14624ef5 black universe.d5a2055dc327e2ed

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Just as the night lengthens when darkness lengthens, the longer Shavonne was away from home, the longer “Viscount Allium” spent circulating through the publishing houses.85557a0e00f641ee

Recently, Lewellyn had developed a habit of gently touching the places where Shavonne had stayed before leaving the house as “Viscount Allium.” The bed, the dining table, rarely the desk where the typewriter was placed… Shavonne’s warmth couldn’t be found. It was cold. Lewellyn would stare down at his empty hands, unable to retrieve even a trace of warmth.fec0ea9118cb8f8b

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That day was a2207ab0e6 no different from 6f61427176 usual. Shavonne came, left, 824db53673 and Lewellyn stopped 4c758b6344 pretending to be dd46abbcca asleep, got up, c21320c033 and touched the 64e7d17647 places where Shavonne 4cace4f7c3 had stayed. Everything was the 8ca654473e same. Except for one 6db13f1ebd thing.17565c254cdf6c6f

‘…’f7c7e4732e711e74

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There was c2bc348dd3 a hair.1846d4cf34750594

Lewellyn’s hand, which had been touching the bed, stopped abruptly.a34259fc77d7004f

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It was a single strand. A black, shiny, curly strand of hair. Only the color was the same; unlike this, Shavonne’s hair wasn’t shiny or curly, so it wasn’t Shavonne’s hair. Then it must be hair that had stuck to his from outside.66c36cd69a2ba012

He knew. That it 71adbaad57 could be 45c98245d1 hair from af598ef469 a complete 7769254aa9 stranger. It was 1e816c1007 common to 9a9d45832d bring back 257ac59603 hair that 6d427b59c8 had fallen 2a90caf946 from an a115cd1284 unknown passerby 16059c8abd bumped into b7ee45cb14 while walking, e4e04a063f or from 1555856067 a customer eb3c9841ac standing close 99143c84da while waiting d114dfe5aa in line bae9615e55 at a e093ac8f76 store.2110ee1acd6bfb9a

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However…76b40b4cc227e112

Lewellyn closed his mouth. He couldn’t be certain with just this. Not just with this.b8edf158ed6aa90b

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Was it 7701892faa luck or e239655927 misfortune? Lewellyn became certain 1a64720c8d after discovering ‘that’ 0379ef1a95 hair again three 48ed460b56 days later. This time it was 375a12d596 inside the coat. Inside the coat that 7626423c40 was only taken off 828ba2b4f1 at work.ce08e352f7d91134

The origin of the hair was certainly his workplace. The question was ‘who’ at the workplace. For security reasons, the multifamily residential didn’t allow companies or households of more than two people to move in. There was also a rule that you would be evicted if you employed errand runners. That’s what Lewellyn knew. Unless there was a big variable, the owner of the hair would be ‘that person.’ That person. The one who said to be Shavonne’s fan.90a4736669b3bddb

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As Viscount Allium, this was a welcome development. Until now, the only clues Lewellyn had were the information about multifamily residential, male, estimated age in the thirties, a publisher and editor with 8 years of experience. The mention of a “wealthy publishing house” when Shavonne first received the scout letter was also a clue, if you could call it that.48b21548845c4d63

Lewellyn didn’t doubt that he could find that person with just the current residence, gender and estimated age, occupation, financial status, and hair color. Lewellyn could do it. Just as he could kill people with just a name tag, just as he had survived, just as he had finally met Shavonne again.14faaac821d6b61d

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Did that person 0b2b925bb2 know? That the longer he 7296cc69fe held onto Shavonne, the f3536dd4c9 more time Viscount Allium 3fcf792ae8 had to track his 73cef4805b tail. The curiosity rose e340a1b068 and disappeared in 6451d45b69 his mind. Even though it was 72e596e50c daytime, the world was 3ce0acb962 gloomy and dark. Winter was beginning.644c9ee85ee2138d

***c0795849272b5ba6

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Turner’s words and actions became more intense day by day.5c2aea4e7c3e1f87

Postponing sleep and meals, Shavonne rewrote Chapter 3 at an almost superhuman speed, but it was rejected twice. Even when passing the third draft, Turner didn’t seem pleased. As if reluctant but having no choice, he said, “Sure, let’s go with this,” and sighed through his nose. He glanced at Shavonne and clicked his tongue in a barely audible voice as an added bonus.a0c42709e72510e6

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Shavonne felt the urge to snap back. Excessive work, reckless schedule changes that made his plans meaningless, and dissatisfaction with the revision guidelines… There were countless things he wanted to point out.8fae2bbb24fab972

The guidelines were especially so. Guidelines should be simple and clear, but Turner had written them as abstractly and metaphorically as an oracle that might have been popular in an ancient country 1900 years ago. It was astonishing that an editor with 8 years of experience didn’t know that nothing made a writer suffer more than vague guidelines. However, Shavonne swallowed the impulse down his throat with effort. He had to endure. Enduring now was the only way to secure his future as a writer.6c92836e929a91e5

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Less than three hours later, a request to revise the ending came flying in. Shavonne said it was impossible. Shavonne’s argument was that to revise the ending, he would have to tear apart and rewrite everything before and after, and if he did that, he wouldn’t be able to meet not only the deadline they had set, but even the final submission date for the royal competition.84008b64191ba86f

The answer that came a00e534fe8 back was the same.5b81fd1a6dc6994d

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“So you’re saying you won’t do it?”8a480f47c87e57b9

Once again, Shavonne 7b70237b8c swallowed the urge 5d63f60f3a to snap back 906b3fb2b6 down his throat. He reminded himself that 66d8954f3d he had to endure, c31a7c487b that enduring now was 4bb8d49ea5 the only way to df03b213be secure his future as 8579875985 a writer.f6e51149a7b41ec5

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Shavonne’s return home was delayed. It was natural. To meet the unreasonable schedule set by Turner, working until midnight was the norm, and on late nights, he had to stay until five in the morning.22128c2acdb1fc5e

Five in the morning. Just before leaving work, as Shavonne was tidying up his desk and rubbing his sleepy eyes, Turner abruptly offered to lend him his bedroom. Knowing that Shavonne couldn’t fall asleep without sleeping pills, he also handed him some. Although he had no intention of staying overnight, seeing Turner acting as if he was bestowing a great favor made even the desire to politely refuse disappear.9e8800cbc1c3391b

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“I’ll sleep at home.”ba97e4f1774787bf

Then he turned his head abruptly and finished tidying up his desk. After checking if any foreign objects had gotten into the typewriter and placing a cover over it to prevent dust from accumulating, Shavonne stood up. After packing and shouldering his bag, he was about to pick up his coat hanging on the coat rack when Turner blocked his way. Along with the words, “Why at home?”8050c5fd43b0d403

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“It’s five o’clock. Since you start work at seven, even if you go home right now, you’ll only get to sleep for an hour. Considering the time to wash and eat, you’ll barely sleep for thirty minutes. You might as well sleep here. It’s not like I don’t have a bathtub or bread here.”a9576507357adced

Turner was right. Even if he went home, he wouldn’t be able to sleep for even an hour. If it was for rest, it would be much more efficient to sleep here. Especially if, in addition to a bed incomparably more comfortable than the one in the Ira Apartments, there would be a luxurious bathtub and thick meat, tea, bread, and eggs…21e458ae5f3ed232

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But…4b82b168cb953515

“I know. I know that there’s a bathtub here and bread too.”e234d946962c9e6b

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Shavonne replied. Turner’s face started to brighten as if he understood he would stay and sleep. Shavonne didn’t want Turner to misunderstand. He immediately cut to the chase.0784f4ed18c0f8b8

“But my dog isn’t here.”f1cec9c6aa9facae

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Turner’s face crumpled. Regardless, Shavonne stepped aside and picked up his coat hanging on the coat rack. After putting it on, he said goodbye.33776cd630aeea7a

“I’m leaving.”5c0df5dc9d8210a2

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“To sleep for an hour?”64359e994e4419a6

Turner sneered. Shavonne suppressed the 8ca0531f84 urge to spit 7ff9bb7e8b in his face. While desperately reminding 9ab872a220 himself about his 8863f029d2 future as a b9b0416a8f writer, the answer 566b961214 came a moment 94f293a3b5 later.b4fd165a654ce9a3

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“No. To see my dog.”78889c90cd7b50a5

“Shavonne, you shouldn’t be so obsessed with your dog.”1325eb046a71b089

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Before he could ask 45042b477b what he meant, Turner 25c03efccc continued.322acb03994beb38

“To my eyes, it doesn’t look like the dog can’t live without you, but like you can’t live without your dog. What will you do if your dog dies? It would be fortunate if it died of old age, but being a dog, it could die from disease, or be beaten to death, or be hunted and killed, couldn’t it…”7423f43fdd3467d8

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“I’m leaving first. It’s already 5:07.”d7229874c1c1f0e4

“I’m not finished talking, Mr. Shavonne.”4baae9803994eb0e

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“I’m sorry, but my work hours are over, Mr. Turner.”0e54cf7303b8a91b

Shavonne left the multifamily residential quickly, not giving Turner a chance to reply. He walked and walked until the shadow of the home apartments was no longer visible, and only after turning the corner did Shavonne stop. The urge to go back to the multifamily residential right away and slap Turner’s cheek muddled his mind. This time, he had to remind himself about his future as a writer for a very, very long time.426b9d9260ddc8a5

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As he walked alone through the night streets, Shavonne thought. More precisely, he had to think of something to drive away the “What will you do if your dog dies?” that was ringing in his ears.c772b107100896a5

However, neither the newspaper 73dbc4ccde stand he managed to 85857c5107 think of, nor the《Daily 6f4d3d60ac Bunch》saying that war was 756c161723 approaching, nor the《Stories of d05253e1f6 Arun》calling the《Daily Bunch》a tabloid e9c7e80119 were of any use. What was useful, ironically, 6153b6d8bc was the voice of d536e98299 Turner himself.b7770c6eef824db1

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― Why don’t you eat, sleep, and work here for a while?cced3dfa38612f5b

― You might as well sleep here. It’s not like we don’t have a bathtub or bread here.a99a5c1a0a19b212

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At first, he was tempted to snap, saying, ‘Mr. Turner, you shouldn’t be so obsessed with me staying overnight.’ But as Shavonne thought more and more, he realized that it might not be a snap. Turner was really obsessed with him. He remembered the image of Turner using all sorts of tricks to make Shavonne sleep at his house, and when he failed, unable to contain his anger and throwing a fit.dfabc4f1cd2ee39e

But why?a688f6c4ff96659d

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When he asked himself, a certain speculation flashed through his mind. Circumstances supporting the speculation also came to mind one after another. Changing into loose clothes that revealed bare skin for no reason, complimenting him with a “you have beautiful eyes,” insisting that he stay and sleep… An ominous feeling welled up.4f1e8a0970c3738b

Shavonne was a writer and Turner was an editor. And a veteran editor with 8 years of experience at that. It couldn’t be. Yes, there was no way he could have the thoughts that Shavonne was worried about.36cbd78c12d7bf0f

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All Shavonne could do was pray for his partnership with Turner to end soon. He was anxious because he hoped nothing would happen, but it didn’t seem likely.27106b37f9080d6b

The night wavered. The anxiety 6493407c27 silently disappeared.34f1f62c3a234586

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***462cf7ae5609e0b7

Frost had b7c3905082 fallen on 6c10cf4cc9 all the 056fac3ea9 streets. People selling winter a9c0ebf4eb goods appeared, and fc235d5d37 flyers for fireplace 5b473c8b85 repair were everywhere. Garbage that could c9a33c4f5b be used as b49013efb1 fuel had disappeared. The season a1018aee7c preparing for 2570370a32 the long 03baaf5b32 night had 42e1e54446 already seeped 0d77d62a4c into the 440dddfcb8 neighborhood.7a001bdb5d2f3985

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Today, the manuscript b876a427bb for the royal f9bc1a54a8 competition was completed.a13c813455f85718

Tomorrow was the final submission date, so it was a very close call to meet the deadline. Well, it would have been unfair if he hadn’t made it. Sleep and meals weren’t the only things Shavonne sacrificed to meet the deadline. It also included enduring Turner, who constantly clicked his tongue, calling Shavonne foolish and pathetic for not staying out overnight.f64a9a1ec65539d7

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As with all news, there was one piece of good news and one piece of bad news today. The good news was that since the manuscript was completed, there was no need to commute to the apartment complex anymore. The bad news was that Turner had proposed a drinking session to commemorate the ‘last’ day.b33d7274dc6a3e97

“You’ve worked hard all this time, so of course I should treat you.”715797da47a32440

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Worked hard? More like 6128385a5c worked like 119b9d62ad a dog.Thinking about page 9760f6f37e 272, where he 822189e3bd said the unrevised 4200934559 version was better 09f5726ebf after making him 19a7246cb5 revise it, Chapter 17fe525c89 3 that he d966e59f62 told him to 55564557ec scrap, and the 94b32d6830 ending he wanted e3911e7917 him to completely 38882d0c81 rework, Shavonne unconsciously 9102829baa applied more force a1bc1d3b5d to his hand 5065c5f04f as he wiped f20d5f1394 the water stains e4f30fd844 on the glass 8d9647b88f desktop.A drinking session? What a joke. I don’t even want to share a glass of water with him, let alone alcohol.9641de790c7a1229

“I’ll have to decline. I want to go home quickly and…”f62cffcb46749983

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“See your dog?”cabc2d90e3d8029f

A sarcastic voice cut off his words. Turner would show blatant hostility when things didn’t go according to his plan. It was the same now. His voice was so thorny that it wouldn’t have been strange if he had said ‘To see that bitch?’ instead of ‘To see your dog?’. Shavonne tried to ignore it.b10d3145898ca3d3

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“…I need to catch up on sleep. And eat something too.”4f74a539a5f5ed82

“And then pop a toast?”b57dc8f2226c0995

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I thought I had made it clear enough that I didn’t want to drink together, but apparently not. Maybe he had noticed but was pretending not to.4434da1db9e5c4e9

Instead of 510040074e answering, Shavonne 64c38225a6 wiped the c351b965c9 water stains ef703d24c6 on the d86bed2ab1 glass desktop c97a300139 with force. Every time f40ded017e the cloth 78a441ceb2 rubbed against 86f6b2e83d the glass, 0be6fa2708 there was df5b75a7e4 a squeaking 8308d8f6bd sound.It would be wise not to ignore it. I shouldn’t create any excuses for him to pick on, big or small. If he found fault and called me in… it was something I shuddered to even imagine.6429cc3f0bea9485

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“When do you think you’ll drink?”66a74f3b776a90cb

Turner was persistent. Shavonne removed the cloth and examined the water stains on the desk. They weren’t there until yesterday, but no matter how much I wiped, they wouldn’t disappear. They didn’t even fade, let alone disappear.262f547e8a910356

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“I won’t.”8770acd50c007bce

Just in 4f276a8e14 case, he dfc3c3a907 felt the 41f51bf28d water stains b558ef2ab4 with his 4050038be3 bare hand. He didn’t feel a9cb6c6cf4 anything, only the c3e9ac9ccb smooth glass with 35e2555201 his fingertips.Surely not…d721aed5a7e33330

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“How can you not have a celebratory drink when work is done? I can’t wrap my mind around you.”eca1f06190651bdd

Just as he feared, it wasn’t a stain on top of the glass panel. It was a stain underneath the glass panel. Shavonne bit his lip and released it. There’s no way Shavonne could have lifted the glass panel and made the stain without realizing it. It must have been Turner’s doing. He didn’t know why. To provoke Shavonne? Or to delay Shavonne’s departure time by making him clean the stains? Either way, it was unpleasant.5adf0d1c28ea5d63

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Shavonne folded the cloth 1a3e51d846 as if throwing it 49e26ef74f away. Despite trying to 9bf4f7acc9 remember his future 64154d5df4 as a writer, 2bb38a6b49 his head was 3e150818bd burning hot. His voice b78516ddb1 was too.3424f82b22ea1f85

“Then keep trying. No matter what you say, I won’t drink.”1cfbf9a9c990d36f

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“Then I guess I’ll have to visit your house so we can have that celebratory drink, Mr. Shavonne.”bbea5af794fb9140

Tak. Shavonne’s body stopped as he gathered his things and turned to leave.3ef297eb6e73bab3

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It didn’t matter if Turner came. The problem was that Shavonne wasn’t the only one at home.5358a33f447c32e5

Lewellyn.8d8e3baf8a30930d

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That name flashed 67370c12ad through his mind.0a802de4d7c5df4f

He couldn’t let Turner and Lewellyn meet. Of course, initially, it was with the intention of protecting Turner. Since Turner was the first to say that Shavonne and Shavonne’s novel were the best, he didn’t want him to get hurt.37f05531f4c5fd79

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Now it was different. He didn’t want to let Lewellyn do any harm. More precisely, he didn’t want to let him do something worthy of execution. He knew it was selfish thinking, but the thought of living without Lewellyn was scary. It was even more so because it wasn’t solitude chosen by choice, but solitude imposed by others.52342f484c4bcf71

“…Don’t.”df6ffb0ddf3142c9

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He said, sounding 692685e4c5 harsh.02bd1b1bb230d2bb

He thought that 398e685993 once the work 3f9a97eec1 was successfully completed, ff9278039f his relationship with 9de918732c Turner would naturally c0f554908c be settled. Of course, 4ddb8c1f34 he thought d1fd8c97bc there would 3c015e290b be no bb0c30545e chance of 7751171f4a Turner visiting c3a6374f3f his house. He realized too late 90ab57245b that it was a e4536d9013 miscalculation. Shavonne bit his e96b17fdac lip. It was e035962c04 a mistake, fe67ba6fde if anything, 3a70673669 to think 8c6314f503 that Turner 2dba4fdfc3 would be a05b78912c a reasonable b5ff943ee1 person.f05f43ecd43509b1

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“Why? Are you afraid your dog might bite me? And then be put down?”058241a03aa3d553

Thinking he had gained the upper hand, Turner smirked. Shavonne’s lips tightened. The veins on the back of his hand holding the cloth stood out. The feeling of being blackmailed was rock bottom. Blackmail…The word that came 9a5f75b7b8 to mind unconsciously made 3e61bc4a2c his heart race.Blackmail. Yes, this is d009211446 clearly blackmail.6794eae78d249b7e

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“Let’s just have three drinks.”2ec3a91e6ea66f85

Turner showed ae536caa46 three fingers 10edacf626 and waved 18b9fafd84 them. A smile formed 6c27c3135e on his lips. It was an 41f0fe6457 arrogant smile that f1db7201a0 only someone who 824bb0e3f6 considers themselves a ea87ad140e victor could make.4f77a5df29628904

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5da67f781cbdb5fa