MLCD Chapter 3.1 || Psyche

If loneliness is the 6eae90c85c start of love,bfc87cbd6a0b8eaa

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As the autumn wind blew, the fallen leaves cascaded from the massive sycamore tree standing in front of the apartment building. Unfortunately for Shavonne, who was walking down the street carrying a basket of onions to gift to “anybody”. The leaves seemed to have it out for him. They fell on his head, shoulders, and face, sticking to him as if they were determined to cling on.7f8935411f4f5f99

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So unlucky.Shavonne grumbled to himself. He knew that collecting 8dfa90c0fe fallen leaves before the 8e3edaf53e first snowfall was considered 9c2ab502c6 bad luck. He remembered the a000d701c6 myth the orphanage f5ee125070 director used to 1f57cfa1bd tell him every 3931f84e75 autumn. But those thoughts 92e77f9bdc had faded away 247ccd80bb with time.029865630544009e

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He blew with his mouth to remove the leaves from his face, shook off his shoulders to free his clothes of the clinging leaves, and shook his head as hard as he could to drive out the fallen leaves that had been stuck in his hair. Whether he was covered in leaves or not before the frost didn’t matter; his 29 years had been filled with misfortunes, leaving him wondering what cursed him.afe76e5e4e5e44a3

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Shavonne also brushed off the fallen leaves from the onion basket. One leaf, two leaves… As his fingertips touched the leaves, they crumbled as if they were dried out. Finally, he tried to get rid of the remaining leaves, but a gust of wind blew them away. Autumn rustled throughout the street.8966754ed4b3853e

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Less than 467e89df35 a month f4582a7919 had passed 531f20c2db since the f2346624b6 end of 1da5330e46 summer, yet 1450534755 autumn had 2a349afd2a unmistakably arrived. In two weeks, a2114fca8d frost would appear, 5472d24c7d in four weeks, 3a02d00f0b snow would fall, 51bf2c71ba and eight weeks 066c260cc9 later, homeless people 969f0cd23a would freeze to 21cc5b3652 death on the b4b23b970b side of the 80d8f833f3 road. Bunch experienced de861fbde2 brief warm 567008f056 days and 0187036630 long, harsh a595dd1219 cold days.eed7d5222f021c71

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After entering the apartment building, Shavonne checked the mailbox out of habit. The mailbox that had always been empty was now filled with letters after a long time. One, three, five… He lost count. However, Shavonne’s expression remained lukewarm. ‘Probably advertisements,’ he thought. ‘If not, it’s likely a wrong address.’51f1800f27a05d3e

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And this wasn’t just a groundless assumption. Was it three or four years ago? Suddenly, Shavonne, who had never received any letters except advertisements, received dozens of them. It turned out to be the result of a false article published in a cheap gossip magazine called “Truths,” stating that a popular actor lived in Apartment 303.1a00aa3fe22019e1

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Carrying the mail 90617fa318 half-heartedly, Shavonne headed 0f85fccf5b home. As soon ccdb60d262 as he fb6c258954 entered, he d9fb1028bc heard a 5682c86988 familiar voice a7ab8fca96 coming from 693fb21601 the kitchen.5aaf57dfec3761ff

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“Mr. Shavonne, you’re craving onion bagels today, right?”01c01f93ead7ec5e

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It was Lewellyn. At some point, Lewellyn had made himself comfortable in Room 303, as if it were his own place, and Shavonne didn’t mind sharing the space as long as nothing unusual happened.fd0cc1de39a06101

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Shavonne, who c811e9400b put down ca9b60df84 the onion bdcdd4a49b basket, answered d759afc901 while unbuttoning aa3d0665f0 his coat.9a73fa30fd5eb320

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“Not at all. I’m not on the mood for them today.”8ff5386019e876ff

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“No way. Even if you say that, I know that you want it. I can tell what Mr. Shavonne feels.”0b086c8fd516997e

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“Have you ever really known what I’m thinking? You’re really something.”35174226c556a2d1

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“Of course I know. Now Mr. Shavonne wants to give me a crushing hug, make out, and then have onion bagels cooked by me.”d9ad26f548f9c60e

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…It was clear that the onion bagel Shavonne had to eat ‘after a crushing hug and making out’ with Lewellyn was already made. The fact that he had to eat an onion bagel, whether he wanted it or not, remained unchanged.5e595f08ee506050

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Shavonne let out a silent sigh. The dish Lewellyn cooked wasn’t to his taste because it always contained whole green onions, and the onion scent and taste were too strong. Shavonne offered to cook it himself, but Lewellyn didn’t eat it at all. Every morning, lunch, and evening, he hugged an armful of onions and went to the kitchen to make a dish with onions as the main ingredient.35717acd601544f9

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“Don’t make it.”54fe215d5d07c556

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He used c04b6f2cbf to be 2dbbed2013 that angry.4ef07da60ad45fad

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“Why? Is the food I cook awfully bad?”bea24112e30a7517

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Yes! Exactly!Shavonne, who was going to answer that, saw Lewellyn’s face darken and kept his mouth shut. When he opened his mouth again, he could only say with a murmuring voice.1f8c8cd8a40b2a53

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“Mr. Lewellyn, that’s…”fdbb70dc6a107b05

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However, Lewellyn dd77d60eb1 did not 2bc6dc92e5 seem to ed68b2a711 be willing dfc04c2424 to wait 692d8624db until Shavonne cefdc8c3fe found an fe44184e9f appropriate explanation. He dropped his bf1471b86c head helplessly and 21bb8aa122 spoke as if 4761fe420a he was holding 4c6c0443d0 back his tears.e6253a694db33873

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“I know. It’s my fault. I won’t bother you anymore.”4b2fa4419fe5b193

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Shavonne was shocked. He was too out of his mind to notice that it was really effective, and he was somehow not sane enough to realize that what Lewellyn had said was really familiar. The more he thought of Lewellyn’s face, the more unrealistically handsome it was and the more he got stuck in his mind.e834da62ac2b0737

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It seemed to be 2e3bfc1390 true that you had 00272fa121 to sacrifice something for 26513d44f7 it to be true b291ae4b91 love. Taste. It must 73855ad064 be taste 9ad7eea44a that Shavonne 769ba28fee had to 1bdaef20ff sacrifice. Shavonne hurriedly a38dc3898c soothed Lewellyn.0579affbd069b70a

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“I’ll eat it. I’ll eat it…”7ffd1a652fe048ea

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Only then 08677d23e1 did Lewellyn 5814e3f37d raise his 6d7d2710ec head and 0938977707 look at df28866d93 Shavonne. He had 1a03add752 a bright 3930a86d73 smile on 439dd2a3fa his face 877b6c82f8 as if 4c06f0476f there was 60f3cb97f3 no sign d2e6f333a4 of darkness 430fcd3109 from the daf3d1aac5 beginning.0f45f0b28c576f46

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“Good idea!”c9fc9288efdb7e0a

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For a 750da945d6 moment, Shavonne ced27cc3b9 belatedly recalled 9ee6709c62 that Lewellyn’s 6ef39fcc8b acting was 2dd5effbd2 as good 14c5387dda as an 43917eaf6d actor. The famous actor Mr. Lewellyn said a59e8f6ad6 with a 101a905acf big smile.451501eb771e8b6e

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“I knew it would work what Mrs. Banshee.”46f3811c32d3b2f3

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“Mrs. Banshee?”e862a54ffcfe52d7

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It was a 00984bc28c familiar name.No way… Shavonne’s face was distorted.7cffa9e639c384e1

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“Yes, the main character from Adam Isle’s novel that Mr. Shavonne has ghostwritten.”e50ca635431cab02

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“All right. It’s my fault.” It was only then that he could see why he was familiar with what he said, “I won’t bother you anymore.” Shavonne tried to laugh, but only both corners of his mouth were raised awkwardly, and he could not laugh. That fucking novel…Shavonne thought.a0f6ed569b2d5751

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In the end, the two agreed to limit Lewellyn’s cooking to less than five times a week, with Shavonne being fed precisely. One out of those five times was now.30f54ea701f265fd

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“I’ll just check the letter first.”6e7dcc380f474b20

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“I can’t wait even a minute more.”53f7dc12326d0dcf

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“It won’t take long.”68e50a939d9e1126

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“Mr. Shavonne, you should know that my patience is at rock bottom because we’ve been away from each other for three hours.”666ecb034eaf624f

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“Let’s see if it’s really at rock bottom or not.”7b8234060c20ac90

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He picked up the mail carelessly and quickly scanned the fifteen envelopes. Private horsemen’s associations, grocery stores, brothels… Not surprisingly, they were all advertisements. Should I think it’s fortunate that at least no letter was sent by mistake?Shavonne sighed.d7988cdca2037c10

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It was then. Shavonne, who was 9bdea63e72 checking a letter f602167813 envelope half-heartedly, stood 1840426a3b tall and stopped 563e4e15f9 his hand.19a408fdb9b119ba

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There was a letter 107546e65d from Krainer Publishing. Shavonne frowned. Krainer Publishing was a4d85b2af0 one of the 8881c20909 top ten publishers 4a2484ebc1 in the whole 6ac59b2612 Bunch.7c2db76c2e9ea13a

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Right. It can’t help but be one of the strongest. The founder, Viscount Krainer, used all his connections with the royal family, nobles, and up-and-coming businessmen to sweep all the patronage of Bunch. Talented people follow where there is money. It would be strange if Krainer Publishing, which brings together only talented people in each field, does not succeed. But why would a publisher like that want Shavonne?d902ae35560d3321

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He opened it. The letter, which started with ‘To you whom I respect’ and ended with ‘Chongchong¹,’ was full of words. However, Shavonne, as if it were like his major, was very familiar with the format, as he would increase one sentence to ten paragraphs. Less than 10 seconds after opening the letter, Shavonne got to the point. It was simple.72b014068511bdeb

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『 We would dbda46f648 like to work 2bda72b206 with you. 』874931f5f9e91878

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Shavonne clicked his tongue 1edeefe57b out loud. If you 673d500ee3 want to ec65792f0a do a 5e4a348a2b scam, at 175c75cfcf least show f491fbc5b8 some sincerity.8a15ac1ccd356212

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Krainer Publishing couldn’t have wanted to hire Shavonne. Exactly, they couldn’t hire a ghostwriter like him, who had no name and had a “good price-to-performance ratio.” If they were the real Krainer publisher, they would have hired a famous and talented ghostwriter at Bunch.edb54ef6503097de

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“I guess the ‘it won’t take long’ of Mr. Shavonne means a year?”8738534124f12f5b

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Lewellyn happened to be calling at that moment. Shavonne was deceived by a fraudulent letter. He crumpled it as the crunching sound echoed in his hand. “Your patience is weak. Severely,” Lewellyn teased. “You’ll be surprised to know how patient I am. Of course, I won’t tell you,” Shavonne replied playfully. “Yes, yes,” Lewellyn chuckled.a1fb56f5852c26d0

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Shavonne tossed the letter into the trash can before heading over to where Lewellyn was. “Don’t leave me alone for too long,” Lewellyn scolded him. “That’s mistreatment.”ad9ff3f44c99bc8e

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Shavonne halfheartedly accepted the comment, not wanting to get into a verbal confrontation. The promise they made to each other about “a crushing hug and make out” was fulfilled. However, they didn’t get to the point of eating the onion bagel as planned, as they both ended up going to bed. It was just another routine day, and before he knew it, Shavonne had completely forgotten about the letter.a81ad5a99bff286d

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But a week later, when he found a letter in his mailbox from Turner, an editor at Krainer Publishing, Shavonne’s memory was reignited. He wondered if it was another fraudulent letter, but upon opening it, he discovered it was very similar to the previous one. However, this time the focus had changed somewhat.7360cd8d1e61d727

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『I would 47760bca41 like to d0b75f8f12 work with d111ba3eea the author 1e091fe523 who ghostwrote fe36d55427 《The Life d63b150187 of John 9bab2f89b6 Gray》by John 2f47c1a8bd Gray and 3f97427652 《Banshee’s portrait》 6eb3c099aa by Adam acd0dafeec Isle. 』78c613b2ae983055

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Shavonne’s belief that there was no sincerity in the letter was proven wrong.92f7b7febb423c2d

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Even though Shavonne knew that Krainer Publishing wouldn’t hire him, he was momentarily confused by the sincerity of the letter, wondering if there was a possibility they could be interested in him. ‘Is it even possible that they know me…? It can’t be real, right?’154eca0c41e115ae

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Lewellyn helped him sort 72287f50f1 out his thoughts.0d258a7c7a36fecf

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“You think it’s a scam, right?”d0fe2d55144ad571

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“There’s no way it isn’t.”b2f67c8a017a1986

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“Why would such a wealthy publisher want to use me? Even if they did, I’m sure they have motives other than just work.”d2df18b24c59d5a1

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“You’re right. Think about it. Why would they offer so much money just to work with you? There must be something else going on.”6c915ea5cc9612a5

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“… Stop talking.”064c30ae1cb8d4cf

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However, three days later, when “Krainer Publishing Company” visited the apartment building, Shavonne had to reconsider his thoughts. This time, it wasn’t a letter; it was a real person.038e33e0719268d7

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A person.fac5d5cc4e8f993f

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“I’m Turner from Krainer Publishing,” he introduced himself. “I’m a fan,” he said with a smile. “I really wanted to meet you.” He asked for a handshake.5d8832ad6297b1d2

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He was a 6ba85b1179 real person.5998d6385f80c04f

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Ninety-nine out 3b0c092998 of 100 a76541e778 orphans raised 610b8688eb in orphanages 11aae5cf86 are illiterate. This is because 1f9d2cf6c0 unlike the monastery, 6837aca07a where personality, sociality, 671544d183 and knowledge are 265dc3a466 thoroughly taught so 7e4113e4e9 that orphans can 617d843b92 become workers of a3c4f23ced the monastery, the cba94f8718 orphanage provided only 493ded37d0 food, clothing, and 5ead9137ba shelter and provided 15a3ed34c4 no education.43150cb7f7c7746a

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In such an environment, Shavonne was able to avoid being illiterate by one in 100 because he liked reading novels. He didn’t just like novels. He liked anything if it had a story. He enjoyed street plays, puppet shows, and playing alone in the attic of the orphanage, avoiding people’s eyes.9a5fd054394ca63d

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However, plays on the 8a4b81c25a streets have not been dfc82aa0ad seen since the ban 3a34b8fac0 on performance disturbance was 58ab535aa0 passed, and he couldn’t 043ac034f8 do puppet shows since 48671805c2 the director closed the 16576952a6 attic of the orphanage. He had 8c812d5ed8 no choice 50d82c37f0 but to 875f29115f read novels 4874252abf to satisfy 73fb24971b his hunger 1881215e61 for stories. He had no 67aa37359f choice but to 67bcd90892 learn to read.60abf31c63f89820

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― You want 194d60dcfd to learn writing?49716285b8544aad

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People laughed their noses ee9f86ffca out. Some grabbed their 77e36a9c65 stomachs and laughed db4bd04b7b as if they 3181790335 had heard a ee35282f8c joke.b4eb9f06e0a248c6

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― Wouldn’t it be better to learn etiquette? You have a handsome face and a flawless body. As long as you learn manners, I think you can get a job as a servant in a rich family.358e38c80195d718

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― Learn how to make alcohol at a brewery rather than learn to write. Writing can’t fill your stomach, but you can with alcohol.1b3f28f61d027415

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― Why don’t you go to the auction house and learn the tricks? Dreams? Hey, you’ll starve to death if you follow your dreams.9f8b2721386aefb2

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How good would it 4218ce5954 have been if they c7ae910ba4 had only stopped after b679044d51 a good laugh. People laughed 6f269aad65 at Shavonne, cfb3c07b63 teased him, 6a1c522cc7 and cut 57458d9102 him down, 57b186a188 asking if 31978caca5 he could cd2c491038 learn to a3f232b077 write, and da30a6471b spat.af0b2aa27bb17717

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Shavonne didn’t give up. No, he couldn’t give up. He had a story to tell, the story of a child who grew up 15 years in an orphanage and defied the odds by not getting thrown out into the streets. He wanted to share the story of being adopted and finding a loving family. He wished to write about a boy who became a servant to a rich man and demanded to be respected as a human being, regardless of his looks, or someone who defied expectations and became a skilled potter in a brewery. He yearned to create characters who weren’t defined by stereotypes.0206e28c44678217

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All the alphabets he knew were S, H, A, V, O, N, and E, but one day he wanted to write a story. A story that defied the odds and didn’t lead to a tragic end. A story that didn’t end with ridicule and mockery.36907cf68fea6001

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However, the reality was not so easy. If the initial problem was that there was no way to write before learning to write, it became that no publisher accepted Shavonne’s writing after he learned it. One, two… A mountain of rejected manuscripts had piled up.e2a47c79d920aaa1

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On the 12d6299c7d tenth day 6e7c4cc8bc of rejection 36a5cfb437 of the 1799ada9a3 manuscript, Shavonne 67f5a3180c stood by af34cad540 the window fe217dfa76 and looked 8e1e88cab5 blankly at a9ec9c1dc5 the clear bdcb08b710 sky and c4df8a160b thought. What if bc0ee29d4c he had b4dd798025 learned etiquette? He might have 9c1f80cba3 become a servant 9e7a372e26 in a rich 49caf98bb4 family by now.1b1e174b88e41afd

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On the 4e4146e2c4 11th day 77367e5dd3 of rejection ca4275f4d8 of the b49a9b7444 manuscript, Shavonne 6dfedcf4f2 stood by 457805daf7 the window a4aaed293e and thought ec74f687ca blankly at e6a94fde04 the sunset. What if he had 9aee4ad351 learned how to make 85f33cd92e alcohol? He might have 00a5363d7e owned a brewery c3eb68fbdc by now.a5d2da8bdcc25169

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On the 7bfc4bbab3 12th day 643ed1018f of rejection b80da5972c of the f54b5d499a manuscript, Shavonne 99e88d7a20 stood by 2a85e0a6b5 the window c583b2470a and looked a7e5cac605 blankly at ff3d3e9d0b the night. What if he 441bd1c7dc had learned the 4670fdd3aa tricks? He might 836843c1ca have become 4d833d2b84 a successful 57201d6fb2 businessman, receiving f83297fbae 2,000 dollars 699123856d every time 1cf1e68d80 he made 49e5fc5f6b a deal.4a643561180e0b82

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But Shavonne was 27e58d9682 Shavonne. Not a f02717e04f servant, not 276a65416f a brewery acc30d229b owner, not f44909397e a tycoon. He was just a 7d709a8fee man, living in poverty 6f5835172a in room 303 of 531d5566ce Ira Apartment House on 8e9e8d3a72 Ira Street.7bee2c161edb1557

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So he gave up f429ebe978 on creating his own 44e57e942c stories and devoted himself 3e80dcc520 to ghostwriting. He got 24355fbb7c paid if 57ac13a520 he wrote ad8ecd1c8e what he 82f10dc01d was told. It was bdfe725547 a small 78e70359b1 sum of a1d009d59b money, but 68ca630b06 it was 9fd56c815a enough to 920c56b198 survive.5da5377212575ef1

 802eda79b3c13c26

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“The Life of John Gray” was written by Shavonne, but John Gray was the author. “Banshee’s portrait” was also written by Shavonne, but Adam Isle was the author. Quotes, commas, periods, lines, words, and scenes were all out of Shavonne’s control, and he was not acknowledged as the author.c6650baab3b72f69

 acd326e91ad0dd8a

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While looking down at the book, Shavonne gazed at the word “author” engraved on the cover with his fingertips. He wished it said Shavonne. If that happened, he might be able to like his own name for the first time in his life.8617ce00d1bf4536

 1f4774ca763d9a22

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Would the day come when Shavonne would become the “author”?6f804c56f3ce28d4

 c17caa00ea11095e

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He didn’t know. A young Shavonne at the age of less than 15 might have been sure about it, but now, at around 30 years old, he couldn’t be.e03ea552729dfea5

 13e4297bd54c2b8e

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Dreams hurt people. If there was anything he had learned in life, it was that the less he expected, the less desperate he felt, and the less he dreamt, the less painful it was. Shavonne didn’t want to be hurt anymore.6e96fa2f070a12f1

 6f3e21ce8fcf3f83

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But…e118a25121366e9a

 67938d39119cc5a6

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― This is a4cade3606 Turner from Krainer 7d4fd587fd Publishing.b6b2f8cf9e5047a5

 5c53ab44113a70a9

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― I’m a fan.f70c690e3b6463e9

 ae09a27a5b28ffbc

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― I 263383606b really wanted 115b1056dd to meet ed69f5e08c you.24f9d4556fc1ce3d

 ea2244d76b0f9eb6

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The “fan” who suddenly appeared in front of his eyes was shaking Shavonne’s resolve.7a770141a75aad52

 c4d9a67ef535f648

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Shavonne was taken aback and didn’t know how to react. This “fan” appearing in front of him disrupted his certainty about the situation.a1207963744a8b95

 deaa8fb01d594d22

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“It can’t be,” he muttered as he stood in front of room 303. “I can’t believe that someone who’s never been published could work with Krainer Publishing,” he said aloud.1548a34378d3afc9

 1b8127193b8166c5

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Shavonne was right, and he stepped back without even realizing it. He couldn’t accept the idea that Krainer Publishing wanted to work with him as an author, not just a ghostwriter. It all felt like a cruel joke.30aa8c6e1f1c5b6d

 44f7aa45ba90f56a

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If he said, ‘Okay, let’s work together’ and nodded he felt like everyone would laugh at him, punch him, spit and say ‘Did you really believe that?’. It felt like a dream.0b34695bdbd3797b

 24661b6a617469ef

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Shavonne just.. opened the door. He had been napping with Lewellyn, and upon hearing the knocking, he woke up reluctantly. He didn’t expect to meet someone who fulfilled his long-held dream after opening the door and asking who it was.60786639db94f6e9

“You can do it.”6b543fdc24cd2310

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 71abbb8d0b3bd631

“I can’t.” b542ad96a27e773f

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 d4c7c43e41045218

Shavonne wasn’t used to have good fortune at all. To him, having sudden luck was something that made him confused, not happy, so he was rather suspicious. Fear overshadowed any sense of happiness.4988ab83c14ac1cf

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 6e951eb5c343bc5f

Stepping back, 569e8eb9a0 a sensation 7b12a2b6b7 brushed against a19692b1e5 his back f4fbb91126 – the 9718e481b4 door of 87465db4ce room 303.b8eb46865a5c7cad

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 c0b42ab043e4f1c5

“How can you be sure you can’t do it?”0986b9ee480e4ce2

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 d4b9f4694555e20c

“How are you sure that I can do it?”6a087d6e6030ca8c

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 d375b4d7e32ae5e0

His throat f204659a56 was sore.5b5e3af1485b5a25

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 90860f30a24675f8

“What you read is what I wrote based on the publisher’s guidelines, not my preference. Go find John Gray and Adam Isle, not me…”def5f3c9b2e65614

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 0194bb361f461854

“No.”2eb671c28bb6fdfd

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 71c6bf66cf80c529

Turner cut 1c5982ee63 his words f36ccd2166 short. The eyes 31777c3577 that stared 1ece6618a7 at Shavonne 9f4989ea80 were cold.656c0be011663fc8

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 9c2daf1688290a27

“It’s got to be you, Mr. Shavonne.”4bf8b2150ff8cb4c

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 c15c71df44e41929

Shavonne looked 82ce09ca98 at Turner 4e432c9905 skeptically but aaae20d274 remained silent. A sigh escaped 2c6146e746 Turner.fb5ba7d25accab5a

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 3c5b6dc31682e340

“I can’t help it. It might not be the most pleasant news for you, but I must inform you.”563e4384586de8ee

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 2088325cd4dca6a4

An unpleasant story? So there was an explanation, as he thought. Just as Turner had indicated, it wasn’t shaping up to be “pleasant.”9100083925157011

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 75be7f9e6f48a1fb

“I happened upon the three novels you submitted under your name to a publisher – all rejected. Yes, they haven’t been discarded. These manuscripts have been rotting in some editor’s drawer for at least three to seven years.”da20b2d06d46d90e

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 d31891c2a07b2711

A furrow appeared on Shavonne’s forehead. Turner had knowledge of a manuscript known only to Shavonne, Dr. Fawkes, and the ten publishers who had received the submission. While Shavonne attempted to protest, Turner granted no opportunity.90ebba46c2b54886

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 9f806bc7205a266f

“I admit it was impolite, but I couldn’t resist reading it. I was engrossed from the first page and read through to the very end. My presence here should demonstrate how serious I am.”493335b939accc1f

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 1e42fb9dfdd1e7ff

Turner’s deep eyes turned to Shavonne..42a044c42787470f

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 9a669d32713ca1d8

“I’ve been an editor for eight years alone. I’ve never read a novel as good as yours in those eight whole years.”7464f0edd7b08701

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 269c1636d9806825

Shavonne blinked. It felt unfamiliar. He didn’t know how to react. Should I say, ‘Don’t lie?’ Or ‘thank you’?20ab8e10d8cfdbf1

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 ea6a44a8342f9577

Shavonne was less 6cd4e8637b familiar with praise bbf1fc72b1 than he was 6998441f10 with luck. When he did 35ee6a2620 proofreading, he was dc8b2b11bd told,“It’s not bad, but you have no sense,”and when he completed c0725ac529 the ghostwriting, he was 227cca9f2f told,“It’s old-fashioned. Not sophisticated at all.”4fbccbe7ea200dac

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 ef760141bd13c3c6

It was not just 4d595976e1 with writing. When he 80484ccdae did chores 4f7f64432e at the df152986b4 orphanage, he ff5095865b cleaned but 0528fdd149 was scolded d09c2396b8 for taking b5f56f2315 too much 1c00ef2087 time, and 47eefe3452 his efforts 408ce102c0 to soothe 6683a0311a whining toddlers eb016f03d2 were misconstrued 2ee484e78f as aggression. So it was natural 109ac93d7d that he thought he c1c4445cfd was lying. But…3fe1f0c2b6a06829

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 cd7603bd8ab0f82a

“You’re exceptional.”8103be579901484e

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 1e841d9debab6135

Exceptional. That wasn’t a word that went well with Shavonne. Shavonne looked down at the floor. It was somehow burdensome to face someone who said Shavonne was exceptional..9f38798d31ed08ed

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 bd33214c3db77437

“That…”0352eae404c97d61

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 b942bc9f3fd51a6a

He hesitated a9bbba6d4b momentarily before f6ff24d7c9 continuing. Suddenly, he 09acf1570c heard something 0273e5fa3c breaking in 33fb8c1812 the house. As if the sharp 5a5fa3ae63 sound of something breaking 0eb6f4d351 made him go back ca52731c71 to Earth, Shavonne came a8bebc8b4e to his senses quickly.Is a plate 621686b9fa broken? Or a glass?He didn’t feel the 4d2095ba4e unrealistic sense that he 2437c1283b was still dreaming anymore.1a259b67d0ba8a2c

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 f5b8f7a4548593fc

“We’ll talk about it another time…”85c1464d58152301

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 a4545b834e52e10f

Turner grabbed Shavonne as he hurried into the house. It was unbelievable how hard he held him, as if he wasn’t an editor but a gangster. Turner took his business card out of the pocket inside the coat and handed it to him. When Shavonne didn’t take it, he forced it into Shavonne’s hand. ebcc967b15dd91ff

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 a9434924323f4740

“Call me.”e91bfb0c0654f53b

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 82e9b961398765ba

Even before aa65f679ff Shavonne could 5b53709e23 answer, he 991826bc75 heard something 97dce8b0ca breaking in 50f86ce2ae the house. Shavonne hurried in.10d9463747811c6b

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 96d5168b478371d0

Lewellyn, who ba6957a75f had just ab0ba77eda fallen asleep, 4210667fab was not c3c11766e5 in bed. He was in fb1af88d96 the dining room 9f4c85802a connected to the 27796175c5 kitchen.e4f4984203093e99

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 df86aefde2443798

It was so 0fb0658d3b messy that there 2636337c12 was no room 940d02dd8a to step on fa365043cb it. Tables, chairs, 6eb38a7e18 and trash 9505e2bada cans had a18e0ae18c fallen down, 8b0908be44 and a cd0f00ead3 bowl broke eb221c8e72 and rolled 0b62fd8725 around the 52c328233d floor. The fragments of the 73c2809269 bowl sparkled finely under 6170596fa9 the afternoon sunlight that ecbec1a3e6 deflected through the window.c3a298f8fb42d959

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 17fc2206fd6a397a

“God.”16863d96a0f682a4

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 e85fb652cf26cb93

Shavonne sighed. Lewellyn looked back on Shavonne late, as if he had only noticed that Shavonne had come. “Oh,” he said in a short, hoarse voice. “I’m sorry,” he added. “It was a mistake.” A flat, dry voice. There was no emotion in it.bfc47478137c08ad

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 fac1816e3c4a7a92

Shavonne felt a sense of difference. However, there was no time to know what was wrong. Shavonne saw something dripping from Lewellyn’s hand. It was blood. Shavonne’s eyes were wide open.db1d6eac24e0def2

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 624e4d2eb878c52a

“What’s that?”78c8e6999d0b161a

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 a5fb9055b222996f

Lewellyn looked down 35d7d5ce72 at his hand. He answered right 374547c792 away.d48531e8491e7a1c

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 b94b94b26cfda8c7

“Blood.”ccbbaedfa9bb57d0

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 371814681a0df00b

“No, I know it’s blood…”1c0e60bece13689e

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 03947356c16c8143

Lewellyn didn’t like blood. Like what happened at the restaurant 《Golly》. Even when Alan, who was overpowered by Lewellyn, shed blood, Lewellyn seemed unhappy. He frowned and clicked his tongue as he piled napkins up on Alan’s face so that he wouldn’t see the blood he had shed.7a7f47646b14b5d1

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 eb5723262e8ba08f

But now Lewellyn got braver. There was no expression on Lewellyn’s face, as he looked down at his bloody hand. ‘Don’t you have any thoughts on your own blood?’ A question came to Shavonne’s mind.3e6649b32f6e64dc

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 548a3e4d571cb999

“Let me look.”00fac92edcb5fb24

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 47281594b7257e20

He approached and checked his hand. The wound was on the palm of the hand. To be exact, ‘the wounds’. One, two, three… There were as many as five cuts. The blood didn’t stop, as if it had been cut deep. Shavonne clicked his tongue.fbbd0527bd0d4fca

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 f939ecf4284d0d2b

He picked up the cloth and pressed the wound gently. He wondered after he had been doing that for about three minutes if the blood would have stopped, but he was still bleeding. Shavonne pressed the wound again. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes… Lewellyn remained calm like a child.9e89f23fc6b7c658

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 7318cb830d8a9afa

The wounds stopped bleeding after 20 minutes. Shavonne brought a new cloth and wiped the blood off Lewellyn’s hand. Of how much blood he shed, he didn’t even wipe half of it, but the cloth was already wet.7a103c4c39f39b94

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 3191ba82bf971dcf

“Didn’t it hurt?”d2ada39262b2b411

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 f8780bf229c54e58

Suddenly, Shavonne asked. Lewellyn, looking down at bd42982ac2 the floor, only looked 97ea9397e0 up at Shavonne. He kept glaring.a03948e9863ba9ed

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 1518d5ea262f3e09

“It hurts.”0c3ef2405c1d9521

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 822bf14bc162125e

A pitchless, dry voice. Shavonne felt something was different. He stopped wiping the blood off Lewellyn’s hand and looked up at him. Lewellyn was still keeping his eyes on Shavonne.df0d0cf0b78044bd

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 663fbff626d8bc56

“It still hurts.”5404f94f5a9839d1

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 8a664f7c3929314a

Then he laughed a little. Before he knew it, Lewellyn’s eyes were back as usual.d3b827a3d0411f1b

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 9aec177f08dfce29

***c57d454b86703258

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 baa4a0b7224884f0

-That…1ecd6c326d78666c

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 d3195168d7879740

Beyond the 48b601d23a door, Shavonne 0e8bc86bcb hesitated and 6477d5da7f spoke. Lewellyn, who 6b51610a29 had been 0982b9d1d0 listening to 3b2a77d435 every word d9013bda75 Shavonne and 622b90c73e a man 8db7f4ff1d exchanged, decided 37dd19db13 that he a1dcfc407e would no 80c2eda45b longer stand b4479bf688 by and 477bede70d watch.4fb973c42e2c050f

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 fbbf788fa9909f27

He kicked down the table and threw a bowl to pieces. He picked up a handful of scattered glass and clenched his fist with all his might. A sharp shard penetrated the palm of his hand. When he opened his hand, the flesh was torn into a mess, and his palms were covered with blood. Tsk. Lewellyn clicked his tongue. He hated blood, but he needed a distraction to completely take Shavonne’s attention from him.b74f4cc2e482aaac

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 543fdf899ebace2a

That man…432b4846a6b776c4

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 cdf3fa06b5415721

— It’s got to be you, Mr. Shavonne.c7404f2fb8cb7aed

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 a089b0144f5c0c1b

— I happened upon the three novels you submitted under your name to a publisher – all rejected. Yes, they haven’t been discarded. These manuscripts have been rotting in some editor’s drawer for at least three to seven years.4f39ab84e9f4d985

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 c6207157b7c95503

— I admit it was impolite, but I couldn’t resist reading it. I was engrossed from the first page and read through to the very end. My presence here should demonstrate how serious I am.c938c0d4a69f98af

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 3776ad8634098684

— I’ve been an editor for eight years alone. I’ve never read a novel as good as yours in those eight years.f832c3c1cb87ad8b

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 93bcc8807904147d

— You’re exceptional.59e3de7a64d68f8e

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 c7eda1d695134309

Lewellyn didn’t know who he was, only that he called Shavonne Mr. Shavonne, read Shavonne’s three unpublished novels (that Lewellyn never even knew existed), and praised Shavonne and Shavonne’s novels as exceptional. It was obvious that he would hurt Shavonne.fff05c17346bfc49

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 e49dca98ff42d2fb

‘I alone am enough ee10c3cee6 to be the only 6e14f19627 harm to Shavonne.’6d23014c33d91152

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 0e08d8a0eb4357d0

Lewellyn looked down at his hand. The wound was not as deep as he thought. It didn’t bleed that much. Lewellyn pressed the fragments on the palm to worsen it. Now it was better. Blood fell on the floor, and only then was he satisfied.8317de976860a043

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 0b101bcc2724d54d

The problem was what 838395a794 came next.c7723ae8a1a862ee

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 166d2ff13b54fca5

“God.”451044cf49cf7559

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 5a114559bfc70199

He heard a 06801a6278 sound made out c156254066 of surprise and 25f6f294c0 then a sigh 4f39a94a1f at the doorway. It was Shavonne. Pretending that he had c84ef4b506 seen Shavonne just now, a4c32c0ac0 Lewellyn looked back at f27efb3fe5 Shavonne.Why are you looking for a God? When I’m here. He tried to talk back as a joke, but he couldn’t. Before raising both corners of his mouth to smile, he saw it.a668b8379b627dbc

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 d260691251e61dc2

Shavonne’s ears were red.1be2144af0ad66cc

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 ac5ae9e9feb2bfb1

“…”3bd432e056d25ac2

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 7e3dbd015406c1d7

Lewellyn couldn’t open his mouth. Shavonne’s ears rarely turned red. “Mr. Lewellyn, I like you.” The day he said that, it was the first time his ears turned red, and it hasn’t happened since then, even though Lewellyn tried doing things to see Shavonne’s ears turn red again.355a3346203658cb

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 8897dd014b1972f3

When Shavonne just woke up, he’d said something to embarrass him (Mr. Shavonne, can’t you stop seducing me? I want to take a rest, too), and had sex. Talked about what Shavonne’s condition was like (What should I do, Mr. Shavonne? I guess you don’t want it to end this way). Remind him of what Shavonne, during sex, was like (Don’t you remember? You just cried under me. Didn’t you ask me to bite your throat?).dba97ab7c9d58013

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 c010cfbb6bc14372

However, Shavonne aab42cd5f3 only turned ec55721a67 his eyes, 9df63369e0 scolded him c0a0b93c98 as he 9ae5b18398 went to 35b9e17529 sleep, or 5a727f59d4 talked about ec22ae6f80 the weather, 74eb1f33df meals, and d73eb3b6b8 money, but 2fec12eeb4 his face de30c9d57e was not 0d7d8b8a58 red. His ears ec726f553b never turned 3607f9eebd red either, 9d57897b13 of course.74e2a15b45662dd9

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 723bc3a58e551b7a

But now?d229a3500b6c5943

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 a4879b6623bd6b4e

‘Mr. Lewellyn, I like you.’ was the first time Shavonne’s ears had become red, and it remained the only one since the day Shavonne said so. The fact that Shavonne’s ears were red because of “the man”, not because of Lewellyn, was too much for him.09e2cd5eb09a98bc

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 bf78574e3de437ec

Did he 3a2808efe5 see you 163b09b3da too? Did he see 1527bd26f4 your ears burning 3d6e8ef43a red because of 666061169d all that sweet 15dd6e7fa5 talk? He saw it. Yes. He must have d6976fa45b seen it with bf22a5ae7c his own eyes. I’m not happy. The fact that that man’s memory could not be extracted even if his two eyes were pulled out, and the fact that Shavonne, who had red ears, would still remain in his head made Lewellyn unhappy.f33a27b9890e4b7d

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 c6d0acce4480074e

Does he even know what it means to have Shavonne’s ears blush? He doesn’t know. How would that bastard know? Huh? I guess he was just thinking about how happy he was to receive a compliment. You idiot. He wouldn’t know that he saw inside Shavonne’s heart, something that he never showed, even when he sobbed while having sex.14760d9d1d923023

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 cbce96eb2fecccc2

It’s unfair. I didn’t know why luck only goes to people who don’t know its value. It shouldn’t have been him who saw that. It should have been me. Yes, it should have been me.6cd70e37433b27bd

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 ef88b18d390af7b5

But, but…2af0130b06f7c856

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 2e500afb470f9e7d

It felt as if he had been hit. A heavy lump filled his neck with nausea. He wanted to break Shavonne’s ankles so that lucky moment wouldn’t go to someone who didn’t know its value.ec90118145c6ce5d

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 4f7df307a0bf0fd5

No, I can’t.Even if he 0e52ce2cc1 broke them, his 15bb523ff8 bones may stick 010c05ddd0 together again someday. He had to cut b1dd701641 them off. Would a knife be d92a3b0bbc good? Or saw? Neither a knife ed6532cec9 nor a saw d35c87e4fd were bad, but 390320aadc the surest way db9bd7f5cf was to crush 5e77f5d0ca them. Unlike cutting with a d5e189086d knife or sawing, there 393fd30a48 was no variable in 2f5b6225a3 crushing. There was no such 2d93a9a039 thing as an emergency b4173b383a situation to prepare for.a3fbfc37b03d9b00

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 c8797fedd5c596c0

But Lewellyn couldn’t break, cut, or crush the ankles. He couldn’t even cling to him and tell him not to go. He couldn’t dare to do that.2e0a195371311ca4

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 bdd2f74627bc2072

It wasn’t because of ethics. It wasn’t because of morality. It was because he lacked the courage to do it. It was just because he knew that if he put his low desire into practice, Shavonne would abandon Lewellyn.f4916b48cbeef2b0

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 ef9af74a7ec751e5

He wasn’t afraid to be hated. It was Lewellyn’s idea that if he could not be loved, he should be hated. Whether it was love, contempt, or hatred, he liked whatever Shavonne gave him.6f5efd96a5dc096a

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 6f39235317f3a518

But not d388c471b1 to be d66853592f abandoned.70003bb9c2c92715

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 8c8a2c830525df71

Lewellyn wanted never bcc90d98f4 to be abandoned 622e3033a0 again, again, again, 718f2ac02b again, again, again, 27f3bc7f2c again, again, again, b284bce42b never again to 0bd4357747 be abandoned again.884cc104f5f4ac69

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 d2c68edde7974286

“Ah.”b2e5ba90d464eeaf

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 27a27898efc3f0cf

With a short, hoarse voice, Lewellyn said. Lewellyn’s voice was flat and dry to hide his overheated head.6cdf1c9ff118e614

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 ecd2a2ce40905dd6

“I’m sorry.”7574d91c0b785a0c

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 d3769e8e90c16c9b

He added.4acc8345b3e0b9c9

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 13138ad17e0e8287

“It was a mistake.”1766900197a59ebc

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 6d7a3a9a4a83538e

Lewellyn grabbed his hand c23e1d6b7e briefly and let go. He dug into the efcb2fa13c palm with his fingernails bff901f0ac and covered the wound c67f26f21e that had already been 24951e1d1f stabbed by the fragments. Blood flowed down his 9e5221fe31 hand and onto the 8640b8b49c floor.d62b11ebe318e494

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 30e08ca936d07fa4

“What’s that?”819ff7b0281e702e

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 af7bca79069e2691

Shavonne’s eyes were wide open. Blood was really helpful. In no time, on Shavonne’s face, instead of remembering the meeting with that man, there were only signs of concern about Lewellyn’s safety. It was a bf4a6d5b30 wise choice to f508a0eab3 hurt myself, Lewellyn b2c52c8a03 thought inwardly. He looked bbc8a39980 down at 3788a7ad75 his hand 955cc09c4e to answer.3a2467ba6de7da12

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 ebf22994cd03e92d

“Blood.”15f3971fc88d5a7b

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 e1c09c55afc0855a

“No, I know it’s blood…”9d228ac57122a994

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 e1d905597dc7229e

Shavonne came up and checked his hand. “Let me look.” He liked Shavonne lowering his head while looking at his bloody hand and clicking his tongue after seeing the five cuts.159bdc5afdc91291

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 dedbed1c65ac4f61

Shavonne stopped the bleeding. He liked Shavonne’s touch of pressing the wound with a cloth. It was warm. His mind, which had been overheated, gradually cooled down. The desires that emerged at the surface of his consciousness also subsided.aadc7c5e7701fc04

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 ed8f6af3b309f620

How long 60d424a85c have we 7dc564a5a6 been like 68595fc9d5 this. “The bleeding should have stopped, right?” Shavonne took off the cloth. Shavonne’s hand, which was pressing Lewellyn’s wound, left. Lewellyn was determined to flinch. He was afraid it might have stopped bleeding already. A belated regret came to his mind that he should have covered it with more fragments or pressed his nails. Fortunately, however, the blood didn’t stop. Lewellyn gave a sigh of relief at the sense of blood flowing down his flesh.7a8d0ffd03c24a85

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 657ef691eddb3a3c

Five, ten, fifteen minutes… Lewellyn had to tremble with anxiety every time Shavonne checked whether it had stopped bleeding or not. He was afraid Shavonne’s touch that gently pressed the wound would leave, in case the blood had stopped.d857ced9564a64a5

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 f075e930c98baf32

It stopped bleeding after 3e37b68726 20 minutes.The blood has already stopped… What can I do about it? He felt bitter again. Thinking there might be no more blood, Lewellyn looked down at his hand. Thumb, black finger, middle finger, ring finger, and small finger caught his eyes. Small finger…Lewellyn’s eyes stopped on it. The thought that it might be okay to cut it quickly crossed his mind. Lewellyn was a fast-paced man. At the next moment, if Shavonne had not warned, “How did you make such a cut? You don’t even like seeing blood… Be careful.” Lewellyn must have put the idea of cutting off his small finger into practice.720e0e1a891318fc

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 6452f99667ed40aa

“Didn’t it hurt?”ca8ce314df4e6055

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 ebfdea937d598c5e

Shavonne washed Lewellyn’s hands and asked. Lewellyn, looking down at the floor, raised his head and looked at Shavonne. Did I get hurt?It was ee46942cef a strange dbfda980f3 question.Did I get hurt? Was I hurt? I’m not sure. It was something f3c59b30d9 he had never 1103c1cbab thought about.28191331d8aa2471

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 db65b8e8d3f9896e

“It hurt.”95dfa1125928ac40

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 d123dff850d44689

But he answered like 8a2bf06f6d that. If he said he ceefaf47f8 was hurt, Shavonne would 1c63942773 take care of Lewellyn. If he didn’t, f6b655f0d2 Shavonne would take b19005fa54 away all his e801f2ef19 attention, pity, and b70dd9806c compassion.d86e90ae9b2faa54

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 0a255b710188e1fa

“It still hurts.”13a21398c28a506f

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 750908f2353d0919

As his red ears 7d3e22c269 cooled down, Shavonne looked df679e7631 as usual. Lewellyn finally regained 9f72d0392d peace of mind.b75ee175ce4e93f7

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 e6a9f7f2faa57bac

“Oh, by the way, who was the person that stopped by earlier?”bb43757ea0ecaf9f

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 5d849de1e1982a78

It was 7471cd0d92 a question b4597e7fc8 that had ca2db9741e been hovering 6c7be7e020 in his b9aea77490 mouth all 13cc000352 the time, 0267c0530a but he 2d0f1206ad pretended it d95372739e had come 9c40842902 up by fa3d66f7e2 chance. Shavonne explained it c7a65f4c36 without any doubt.0f33b54f705e4e31

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 19220814c015e169

“It was the editor of a publishing company. Remember that I told you recently that I kept getting scam letters under the guise of a publishing company? I guess it wasn’t a scam.”1e556a8acb269bc5

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 cd223db349e6cab3

There was a faint sign of excitement on Shavonne’s face as he was speaking. Lewellyn chewed on his lips. Lewellyn wasn’t the reason he was all excited. There were different kinds of happiness an editor could give and happiness a lover could give.9353f85a65247b2e

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 7f4400c827897eb5

‘If he were c1cc630c0e really the editor 3d550b3be0 of a publishing 93760f195c company…’fb00c780711b53fc

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 180426eacb744a5b

A thought flashed through 7575ebdf61 his mind.0861a37522df906c

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 723c0e5d4edbd6f4

The judgment that he was harmful didn’t simply stem from jealousy. If anyone asked what the evidence was, Lewellyn would answer it as a hunch. A hunch. I mean, a hunch to recognize his own kind.b681acf2349bb93e

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 7a29537d7fb22f88

The way he approached him was the same as the way Lewellyn used to. Digging into the opponent’s weakness. There was only one difference. Lewellyn sought Shavonne’s solitude, and he sought Shavonne’s desire.edfa4ec24093fa6e

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 2ecb6e430092d774

– What you read is what I wrote based on the publisher’s guidelines, not my preference. Go find John Gray and Adam Isle, not me…422d5c97c9451d67

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 83be32ee92ba00cb

So when e2e192c7eb Shavonne said ffde06e7e1 that, he b1cd0862e7 replied.b1f74485ac0a71e8

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 d3d2d22fc906a7da

— It’s got to be you, Mr. Shavonne.b78d2ec6e976fd63

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 c999a41affd9ec73

Shavonne had always been hidden by others. John Gray and Adam Isle were the ‘others’. If you tell Shavonne that you are not a shadow, that you are not a person to be hidden… It would be quite effective.44d2832f43c93ae9

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 1baee503a2fe217f

— I’ve been an editor for eight years alone. I’ve never read a novel as good as yours in those eight years.ee797e66b48516ec

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 d9b821640358b9cd

Shavonne’s manuscript was repeatedly rejected. If you tell Shavonne, who must feel like shit because he thinks his manuscript is crappy, that you’ve never read a manuscript as good as his… Yeah, this works pretty good as well.ee88ef5f838ab04c

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 492a7d35b33afa33

— You’re exceptional.6c8ae7f26e41215c

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 8d23d1a3d1ed7a3f

If you tell someone who has never been called exceptional that he’s exceptional… This had a really high effect.1d8df7e13020c8fa

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 0401662aaade5cba

Of course, Lewellyn may have been wrong. He could really be an editor, he could really be in love with Shavonne’s novel, and he could really think Shavonne was exceptional.028cfd22fe7ca195

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 6ec60f894be6a0f6

But what if he’s not?15cd782831427709

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 34ae9cb06480f0e1

What if he pretended to be the editor of a publishing company that fell in love with Shavonne’s novel and praised Shavonne as being exceptional?d149345ac2c34918

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 7d0e2535c6cb896c

When he learned the truth, he couldn’t even guess how deeply Shavonne would be hurt. The higher you go, the more painful it is to fall. Your wings would be broken, your bones crushed, and your blood would burst like a waterfall. He couldn’t allow anyone to do that to him. That was why Lewellyn had to check his hunch.a05a3c3a98cb6038

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 b4dbd23e685c5937

If he were for real, he would congratulate Shavonne. Of course, no matter how close the relationship between the two would be, he should also be careful that they don’t get too close.fc086cf9448777db

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 da9e70c1dca0d372

But if he’s lying…800f789d41be5a32

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 223fc5fc37781340

“An editor?”01de489173018da4

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 1bce0c942f1854e3

Lewellyn pretended 5374f7e914 to be 80c4b605b8 interested.34a313f40be5c93f

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 9497bb7ee2db0e9f

“What kind of publisher is it?”7a965d9eb77f1440

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 d9a1cdda8f94de5d

Lewellyn naturally asked the question so that it would not be seen that he was wary of him. But the following answer… was not good.80860105eee6ab4d

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 d33fc4590e383b0c

“You wouldn’t know even if I told you.”d4b7df29fc363c14

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 49c92ebe2c676c86

There were two c45c6202ad chances left. If he dug 3316168fe4 more than that, e2c24ece81 he would figure 55103ff985 it out. Lewellyn said it 4b208f2879 with a nonchalant 7e1b168960 attitude.9b4919ab60d9ce03

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 4ea5b24f260f118d

“I might.”afdcc65374f327c6

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 f6a9c846bdc0cc54

Shavonne laughed. As expected, b202d2340e a bad aa48616820 answer followed.52846c36b519390b

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 f53e11c24c9783ce

“Huh, you mean someone like you who has never touched a book?”c82170c585e5970b

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 4fdb6365065065a7

One last chance. Lewellyn frowned, pretending to 90fdd93a60 have been hurt.4fbcdc3cfc705fe1

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 dc4113d4d0adae9c

“It upsets me if you look down on me too much. I love books.”3e1061502e754c80

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 eee4ec9d0e343ae1

Shavonne laughed once again. As expected, a bad 7740cf4fe0 answer followed.327fd59248791bac

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 6245165b35b01372

“Does a book lover write New Year as New Yeer?”0fb49ef0f1f9fccc

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 d394d0299787b396

He was 55b7846ac5 convinced that cb794fb4b7 he would edb5774539 not be fa8015a76e able to 77bc95c6d0 find out 57788f4705 who he 44efd9ad08 was through 372d66da69 conversation. Lewellyn gave 68ecf1bbb7 up on 2a8c0451c8 the questioning. Even if he 22fe979591 didn’t ask, there 5f79ee5456 was a way 6df5cd80df to find out 83549b48b1 who the person 5e653c6f22 was.f220427d938d1bc9

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 8dfae7d8709661ca

***afc5e254622b6540

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 59b932b48acfdc1e

“How can you say you want to have sex when your hands are like this?”48e55a2b43732cf7

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 8a75309a42b42514

“When did I have sex with my hand? It was with something else.”6ae85ceeced22aa7

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“No… Anyway, what will you do if you can’t use your hands…”cc29f5999fe844fa

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 27c1c47cce5d585a

“I’ll do it with your tongue instead. That’s a good thing, right? I remember Mr. Shavonne liking how I used my tongue more than my hands.”564c8506cee13133

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 6cdbd503651ba7f8

Sex was rough that night. Usually, Lewellyn used to be considerate during sex because of Shavonne’s pace, as all the exercise he did was sex, walking, and going to the store, but today he wasn’t.cc38a51e016a5220

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 e69277b86fdcd807

“Five minutes… just five minutes off.”473511a31a69b1de

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 7ece561853651c04

They were in a dark room without a single light. In the darkness, Shavonne gasped. The sweat flowing down Shavonne’s cheek shone faintly and then disappeared. Lewellyn laughed.4bcd8fdfe0ea230e

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 7e505aa3f75a47c5

“I must have been in heat, as Shavonne said. I can’t stay still for five seconds, let alone five minutes.”7843f3518b361d00

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 9adc588bac183d82

Then Shavonne spoke 0857c9a2fb quickly.8fd4aacdfe09ead8

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 637c7e22f3314daa

“Slowly… do it slowly.”bf45bec13deb3600

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 26d211121c6fba5d

“I’m already doing it slowly.”a9d8d146e1675198

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 8e87166495342c5c

“I-I’m… at the bottom… of… of my energy.”f613de6ae5c76fe9

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 4a989cca61f68336

“My weak Mr. Shavonne, don’t you think you need to improve your physical strength? Mn? Am I wrong?”e3d02f672bbd62dc

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 255a87952346371f

Then he 016df7167d bit, sucked c79cc8f975 and licked.fecf074aa345a407

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 ba87aca2ea45507a

Shavonne was out of energy when the sex was over. He couldn’t even lift a fingertip and just lay around. Even when Lewellyn called him, he didn’t even open his eyes nor answered. He fell asleep as soon as he was done having sex. Lewellyn smiled faintly. Just as he expected. And, just as he intended.c4b6c2eb82730c0e

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 4df4081c192ae06e

He lay in bed side by side with Shavonne. With his chin on the pillowcase, he looked down at Shavonne. Shavonne’s face was dimly visible in the dark. Closed eyes, nose, closed lips… White forehead with messy black hair. He thought of sweeping his hair, but didn’t. Lewellyn’s hands were cold enough to wake up a sleeping person just by touching them. Like a corpse, or a hand colder than a corpse. That’s how people used to call it.c15df4d266cd3b15

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 bd23591ed2b9577f

Looking into his lover’s face was never boring. Ten, twenty, thirty minutes… Looking at him for an hour, the sound of rain began to come from a distance. It was a drizzle that soaked the night99b877f125e73d62

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.7c0fad0c23c55f5a

He rose from bed without making a sound. He was careful with his footsteps across the house and lit the candles carefully so that Shavonne wouldn’t hear the rattling sound of candlesticks. It was a small flame, but it did its work.55c634d356d776c4

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 41beb89b755873c3

He searched the trash can for a letter from the publisher. Letters from private horsemen’s associations, letters from grocery stores, letters from brothels… There was a rustling sound and it soon permeated into silence and disappeared.58a3e90fc3a360cc

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 c47120c41898657f

It didn’t take a long time to find the card of the publisher. The paper was crumpled in a mess. Lewellyn recalled Shavonne, who was crumpling the paper and throwing it away, saying, “There’s another scam letter.”b8c5969f2c0e80dd

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 6660a9c18eaea536

He tried to spread the paper, but there was a loud rustling sound. His body became stiff. Fortunately, Shavonne didn’t wake up when he quickly looked at the corner. He seemed to have fallen asleep so hard that he thought that he had been too rough during sex.7197bb223bcf4e4a

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 6e3689dcb3aa7dc4

Lewellyn grabbed the e4a34529e5 piece of paper. He quietly left f50507cd8c the house, putting bcfb871921 his heart and 0698f46405 soul into making 289b300e5f sure that there b853aa13f0 was no sound 920aaa0045 of extinguishing candles, 3fae67f03e footsteps, or closing b42918e0d7 doors. He left 1dbde1cfda the apartment ea7bbe83dd house and b088aabdf2 stood under f34c2418e8 the eaves. The dull lights 420759698f of gas lamps 14bb3a5094 installed at the 4e5ce9b998 eaves of apartment 896f731305 houses lit up 583fc72bc1 Lewellyn.75203f816062aeae

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 65954cd74bc7393f

It was night c197ba3a74 and it was 36f32bc5fd raining quietly. Grass, trees, 60b53ddb5f and fallen 350d3f8080 leaves on ed847935a2 the side ea8e8b640b of the f540cde04c road, which 6806e554c4 he could 8af32f69d2 only see 36fa788048 its black b7904000d4 outlines, were 457a3dedf0 soaked.241f3b79c8b016b8

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 4bb320607a813bb4

Lewellyn spread the 1f97b529fd piece of paper. No matter how messy eff1570965 it was, it had 30fe6df83d to be unfolded carefully. There was a rustling b01ad2d12b sound, but it was 776cb04933 faded by the sound 3b0232dd55 of rain.123a5238e92c1adc

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 1d76d1e15736d3e1

The card was filled with words. Not only the card but also the letters were wrinkled, making the words “Dear sir” look wrong. If he read it, he would find out which editor of which publisher sent it. It was the moment he was about to read the next paragraph.1b3f6ebcff752893

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 4c7a5c609a928768

“Mr. Lewellyn?”cf645b75b62246ea

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 8276643de0dd5dcf

The hand holding 78b70a582e the piece of fd06ac35cc paper stopped.c408456aa2b35f5b

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 9a68ea1c7e14acf8

“What are you doing there?”3911767a602ac920

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 b7117f1c93ace67f

He heard a familiar 3bbb78032b voice from behind his d8bab9cbf3 back. It was Shavonne.d3421239d25abcf5

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