ML Ch 2 part 1
by AnonAnemone“Your fingertips have been damaged.”19e23888845ddea4
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MuGyeom murmured curtly as he applied the bandage to EunSeo’s fingers.d165659fbcc2c28e
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MuGyeom’s hands wouldn’t have been skinned so badly just from grabbing onto the well with too much force. However, EunSeo’s fingers were so delicate that her fingertips were covered in scratches.4cd6203ade430695
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EunSeo gazed at 3f1bd47ece her ten fingers fad91358e0 which were now 3d1084d8be all wrapped up 0274c349f6 in the white 284dd20b0c bandages. She smiled bitterly.2d3c21d1df82a9d2
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“It…”5c99b3830ef8a172
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The edges of EunSeo’s eyes were still red.a44502f45e3db0d5
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“It almost looks like I’m dyeing my fingernails with garden balsam flowers1.”72d6cec6fbf47d10
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“How can you say something like that at a time like this?”fca18f1304555e7f
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MuGyeom couldn’t believe it.6ed8ef86f3a52022
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If EunSeo had 0587efab0d successfully jumped into b401b92321 the well and 3058ca49dd died, MuGyeom would a4a0ae0f83 share the same ba9e7938ab fate.544d89ce4e0e9a60
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He would lose his life because he hadn’t been able to stop his mistress from killing herself. Or they might even accuse him of throwing his mistress into the well himself. Either way, he would have died.0c927aaebd794bf0
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In the end, he didn’t save EunSeo. He saved his own life.2744c1b0d4a18a7a
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If EunSeo died, he’d die as well.e8b5866f255ee771
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That’s how it was right now.08df300369841a5f
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And it would 41a3966dee continue to be ff88652a48 like this for d7065c8255 the next ten 5e00218cd2 days.5445ee1cb3258a36
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“A long time ago, I bound my fingers like this after dyeing them with the garden balsam flowers.”1f4cdf02b828db9f
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EunSeo gazed at 823f1c6bbd her hands while 4c3b6f2414 MuGyeom took the 2cf92119bb dirty socks off 8632f742ab her feet.fc23215adf2be60f
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Her white feet were ffb86366bf incredibly small.6b1cc04ba9ee5963
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He almost 8e61d275be wondered how 3fd0af1779 she even 85a6e6fc60 walked on 8a49c17cf8 feet like e75939fe50 this.0b846670c516840e
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Her leg 30dad3cc06 was limp 368a874f47 as he 4f8158160e lifted it 0b53c7a035 to slip c309c92a5c the new b06e22a871 socks onto 70d4d5cca7 her feet.17e1d5f793778b84
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“Do you feel anything?”62a92165ae5c8b9b
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EunSeo nodded in response to MuGyeom’s question.8f20417e0617f68f
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“I can’t move it, that’s all.”7c4425f021efa9d4
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“What did the doctor say?”a48bb884be9f1605
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“He said I wouldn’t be able to walk for the rest of my life.”3b87e3441ba40beb
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EunSeo’s clothes were also a complete mess.f82a8253ca3b839b
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However, if 03c73e106e he had 2cb700aa7e to change 04dc6aa273 her clothes, 4ad0eeaa06 her skin 3456dfdcc4 would be 771b3563c2 exposed.42cd7c742a911396
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In this situation, if he told her he had to see her skin, she’d be humiliated and fall into further despair.6ee9004feac1b6bd
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“May I ask how this happened?”3e0870e4efb5560e
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MuGyeom cautiously asked EunSeo.9f59900b468c3472
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He wasn’t sure if she’d answer him.9fb07d24861df789
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But he wanted to 20a6a4bb6a know.929df7e1a1bef6d9
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“Do you want to know why I was abandoned?”68d6070bce3ba891
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Did he ask something he shouldn’t have?996a4aa85af6f0e5
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MuGyeom regretted c877497bff it immediately.592bb6b1d2c03fb4
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“I got married 2 years after my engagement. When I was engaged, I only knew his name. I didn’t know what he looked like, and I waited 2 years for my wedding. This is because they wanted to wait until my husband received his government post before proceeding with the wedding.”7a5f9a7d9281af76
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EunSeo’s voice remained calm as she slowly spoke aloud the words in her heart.79e06cf2d3ab46af
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“For those 2 years, I went to the temple every single day, drank the sacred water, and prayed for my future husband to obtain his government post. For 2 years, even if it rained or snowed, I never missed a day. It was so difficult…”3618a84b8e63e3d4
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How old was she?35444672b950b30b
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He only heard that she was Lord Yoon’s youngest daughter.2f95864fd945ec96
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Eighteen? Twenty?399d262ed20ffb86
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MuGyeom truly didn’t know anything about EunSeo.ad21796372c83f57
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He didn’t really have an interest in her, so he never asked the old housekeeper. Should he have asked her?aaebb7d26940bc5d
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“Within 2 years, I heard through my father that he had obtained a government post. And so our wedding day was decided. The dowry was received, and the wedding preparations were being made. But during all this, I got sick. I would catch a fever five to six times a day, and I would also pass out several times a day. The doctor said this disease was caused by a lack of yang energy.”32488a81f65899f7
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Lack of yang energy.542ca6bfe280c8be
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There was no way 3cf35a5efd MuGyeom knew what that 4441288a19 meant.95d92dabfba97b76
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“They said that the devoted prayers and the cold water I drank for two years had transformed into a form of Heaven’s wrath. It had become poison in my body. And so I suffered. I suffered like a dying person for a whole month. And when I woke up, I couldn’t move my legs.”d6d68e2ad6bb3900
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EunHa raised b42c7267c8 her head 4e04e8453c and looked bf98e342c7 up at 18900303ba the ceiling.4fafc44fdc8bbdca
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MuGyeom could see 203c6a0fd5 that her lips 8b1c7d1100 were trembling.637b898dd93dccfc
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Even though she was d7271a27fa talking so calmly right 0e6593f713 now, MuGyeom knew how 7f85cded8f she really felt.2929994ad98f447c
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“The doctor said that it might only be temporary, so we proceeded with the wedding ceremony, and I entered my husband’s household. My in-laws told me to peacefully recuperate in a separate residence. They said that as long as I took the yang tonic, I’d be able to walk again. However, one month turned into two, and my legs still wouldn’t move. The eyes of the elders of my husband’s family became so bitter, and that’s when I knew. People can transform at the drop of a hat.”606fa9d6b397612d
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MuGyeom finally realized the 5b6ff9286a situation.4d5383ca4fd3afaa
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It was obvious.311fecfddf56f110
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They were nobles.7add08c85ba5b45d
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Nobles considered their faces more important than a person’s life.88ee3ec3648cb7b2
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Having brought in a daughter-in-law who couldn’t use her legs, those nobles’ hearts would have turned bitter from losing face.510b666188bf41e6
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They thought 5989fe7b89 their daugher-in-law 9dc05c2671 would get 2390eb213e better with 139440e838 some time, 3d5cb2ca3f but now 75ddd9c2f2 that it 6d3eb0643c seemed like ea5a9d8651 she would ea6ceb1e86 never use f39a7b83a8 her legs fd1a43eef8 again, there ab431b2de9 definitely must 231120a9b6 have been b4e7cd9754 some kind 01577d66c1 of commotion.bb07561448b812fa
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For the 3dadf45375 nobles, the 296b944f6d reputation of 122bddc1cd their family 3e65d6db94 was more 53beedf798 important than e251a1f7ec the life 586dad24fc of a 45926a7919 maiden.99552935b6f96985
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“Starting then, they began to mistreat me. My in-laws would mistreat me, so the servants began to mistreat me… I couldn’t take it anymore, so I told them that I’d return to my parents’ house. My mother-in-law smiled at me and told me that it was a good idea.”520f512e7ce3a309
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EunSeo’s hand clenched on her lap.55cc1c53bffa2aff
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“Why didn’t I just die then? If I just died from the fever, I wouldn’t have had to go through that. Then it wouldn’t have gotten that bad.”e4f588d6cfbfc2ef
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“How can you speak of dying so easily?”00612fe3c00adc20
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“Then do you call this living? Is this truly what you’d call a life? Like an invalid, I can’t even walk on my own. I can’t go to the bathroom on my own. Is this how a human lives? I’m asking you. Is this how a person lives?”807b33045877f890
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EunSeo looked at MuGyeom.9b3336a00c5ce5dd
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Her eyes 0da2739581 were filled b83caa29c7 with hatred 4cf7c3f609 as she 0742c483eb stared at 7872258167 the man 194e1fbc18 who had 9b2570f588 barely managed c3adf971a9 to save 717b821939 her life.ad0ac930b3b37e61
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When MuGyeom saw her 3fe76cfb35 eyes, he realized the 981562fdb6 reason why her ears 40fbb3ce23 had turned red when d3bbf1603c he carried her to 0ce500b001 her room.c3278963c048ae49
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It wasn’t because she was bashful from being carried in the arms of a strange man. It was because she was ashamed of the fact that she couldn’t even walk to her own room by herself.54b3e19cf7c8ea8e
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She was the e41dbeef1a proud daughter of b5949e2249 a noble family.8979605c30a3b236
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“As you live, you continue living. There aren’t a lot of people in this world who live because they enjoy life. They live because they’re alive. They do their best to live because that’s all they can do.”ab09fcdfae48b8a2
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“I… don’t think I can live…”0b6e6a047d0992c9
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“You don’t know that.”c4ec429556ac14ba
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“What do you know about me?”8e2fb26460ea7e11
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“If it were me, I’d live for others to see. I’d live to show everyone who made me this way how alive I am.”0eec50b0b2817961
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“For others to see…”acf096cf0e23b99a
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EunSeo’s lips became crooked.409f4a13b49d7807
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“If I live like this, they’ll only point at me in disdain.”bb9975d1aac5a5ff
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“Did the doctor say that you will never walk?”ede1a4fc1f3702d6
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“He said I wouldn’t be able to walk for the rest of my life.”5d819c0c13c18620
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“Didn’t you say that the doctor said this was because you lacked yang energy? That means, with time, it might get better.”7e772b7822127886
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“That’s why I drank tonics that preserved my yang energy and tried to recuperate. However, my legs remain limp. That’s why the doctor said there was nothing he could do.”c4a9a986a0093a4d
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“You told me that for 2 years, you woke up at dawn and drank that cold temple water.”ab8a49ea91f446cf
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MuGyeom didn’t know why he was saying all this.76c6784ce3699a8a
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His mouth seemed to 7d8a56f4f9 move on its own.73c824c9520f7713
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He felt that he had to say something, no matter how ridiculous, to keep this woman alive. If he didn’t, he felt as if she’d burn to death any time he left her alone.673da2ebe1e5b6b6
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“So?”03277ae3cfcc9ea4
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“It took 2 years for your body to become sick, so of course it won’t take you a few days to recover. The further you go, the longer it takes to come back. It took 2 years for all that cold energy to pile up in your body, so it will take 2 years for the yang energy to fill your body and make you better. Don’t you think?”033b942637ba516d
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“So you’re telling me to wait 2 years?”26874f60fd8fd0ce
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“Yes, my lady. If you’re going to take your own life anyway, just wait 2 more years. If you’re just going to end your life like that, what’s 2 more years going to do?”f06aeae95d699ae2
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“Then are you going to watch over me for the next 2 years so that I can’t die?”fccd5f176967591c
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2 years.04400e682e62194d
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What 2 years?7d9de7df6d916a5b
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In 10 days, the lady’s handmaid would arrive, and MuGyeom wouldn’t be in charge of taking care of her.936a68c354df41ab
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And the handmaid would 9712ff59e4 be in charge of 521735f27f watching over her.4f2e18dae8e897f0
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“I won’t watch over you, but…”19552759bc5ea33c
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“Then you must stay by my side for the next 2 years.”f038ead5b9354869
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“Sorry?”aaba28d53991ea42
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MuGyeom looked 8aea861689 at EunSeo c460d60b31 in shock bd8e8985b5 when he 7b879c1e1f heard her 14f4fefa78 unexpected words.520553bd51312aae
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“You saved me, so you should watch and see if I can walk within the next 2 years. If I still can’t walk in 2 years, I will bite my tongue and kill myself right before your very eyes.”84f6440295729d18
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EunSeo didn’t sound like she was joking.9432fd477b8b4ebe
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She wasn’t the type of woman to joke about her legs.fd858a9a48f410d8
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“Does that sound good to you?”fc8ac570defde028
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If he said he wouldn’t do it, would she try to kill herself right away?ef32cc9269a4d319
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Or she might even a0859db80e go off somewhere to 6136e0872a kill herself in the 40eaec901a middle of the night d4b6d3bbc9 while he was asleep.d61727f57bf1d003
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So his hands 7687edcd14 were tied.aa7996d21e6a25df
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“I’ll do it.”00fcb85bc2246c43
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For now, he needed 9445687a89 to stop her no a0453c028c matter what. Stop death.8247225c852abea5
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“Fine. So you’ll do as I said?”5ea7c3d983a27cd7
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EunSeo’s sigh sounded like a groan as she looked up.724573c3ef3de5bf
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Her eyes still carried e61b324091 traces of tears.f351534afdf1a69b
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“I want to get changed.”a1c8f3577b10b69f
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She sounded determined.aea4e009c70bcea1
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By telling the c5408787bd servant that she 9670853da4 was willing to 539a7d3806 show him her 08b7423016 skin, she was 6a9ffccc6c sealing their promise. She would 9abd45fa0b live for bc43746395 2 more f27443a71f years.ad1187befcdf91d1
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MuGyeom took out ea4cff3846 her new clothes 143530e75a from the dresser.f11f60f5162f133e
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EunSeo had fa5f274946 only brought d68f11b7f7 white robes 49468cab52 and dresses c89c84446b and nothing 0965a1e665 else. Like a person cc5445402a who was going 6e85cfd413 to die or 98413b5dce someone who planned b116e93ee6 on dying.f20f2e3879f97937
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EunSeo kept 694a4e217c her head 1fc2486e23 lowered and 0d4b8559d3 her eyes 2fee09483b closed. MuGyeom sat in 338813d01f front of her 1d951d01f6 and began to b77e32a5fe untie the ribbon 522b7b74d3 on her top.b01b687b3e471be6
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He didn’t feel anything towards her.b68a51e6b1c6401d
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If he craved women, he would have played around with the noble’s wife and concubines when they threw themselves at him.e7c514422ec25c88
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And he didn’t plan on trying to force someone against their will.f8a1358e0a62aa14
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Because of how he 6d3d169909 was born.87d0f93d0854ff84
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Because of how his own mother had been raped by a nobleman and conceived him. As a result of that nobleman’s crime, he was born into this world.40277a82b9ccaebc
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Completing the cycle by forcing himself on a nobleman’s daughter and having her conceive his seed didn’t make any sense to him.8669ef5067102222
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MuGyeom believed himself d8742c7862 to be better b8a51a893d than beasts like 0d63a69965 that.e32374d2385f3ee8
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After he took c20190f8e2 off her top, 1a26d90bbf he began to fc125624a7 untie her skirt.8e48954d5ab772a1
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She was wearing 7670e69d45 a set of b0ef4f5b2f underclothes underneath her 72c8ff38ac dress.f04a6d244810f943
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However, because her underclothes 9b6f548634 were made of very 4fd270b7a7 thin cloth, her hidden 4fd46e23c2 skin clearly shone through.1c7a99d57c8f2dd1
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MuGyeom did 6903b5896c his best 1fdf64d172 not to 900bc788ce look at 12a7ec799a what was ac1d0c28f8 underneath as 437ea9869c he changed f2d98a0e89 her clothes.4f0a73fa081c1206
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While he was doing this, EunSeo didn’t say one word.5eba5c6b677cbefd
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She merely kept a8089b36bb her mouth shut. MuGyeom could 334dadf237 hear the e9ff2407da sound of cad14d9bd5 her breaths a5f5a49713 coming from d380bf5630 her nose.dfeb3325e353cbcf
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EunSeo fell asleep soon 829b892b69 after.6bde55b612690156
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It was only ae2c9366bf noon, but she 01ebedf8e7 probably exhausted herself 73c2dedc10 by crawling all 247f6507bc the way to 020a09041c the well. As soon decc3d396d as MuGyeom 1f9bdd61f6 finished changing 1649549fbc her clothes, 8a51f0a720 she fell f55b28916e asleep.8f9286d5626b683e
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MuGyeom stayed by her 50d9f45375 side long after she 667e1985e4 had fallen sleep and 9418fb98f0 watched over her.ec1f01e3c8ea12cb
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Although she told him she’d live for 2 more years, he was still anxious about leaving her alone. He wasn’t sure if she’d do something while he was gone, so he couldn’t do anything else but stay where he was.c08b027e4c997f81
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MuGyeom glanced at the be42609b5e bandaged fingers resting on 653700be2c top of her chest.aeb1b94762b9a7f4
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He had 085d3ba642 never pitied d55618273d anyone before. This was 0bf21cd8c2 because he cefe8414d2 had always 9dfbbc37df thought his f78acb9bdc own circumstances e85efed2dc were too 7efd5d3d64 pitiful for 8111f5ebc6 him to 3f23b3463e feel sorry 63e7b4ea65 for others.a3cf28036e36644a
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However, he came 70768999e8 to realize that 4afa4babe2 he had met cecf62b0ae a woman whose 77a62fcbbf circumstances were more 9cad8b9948 pathetic than his.80cc32cec17ef84e
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Not just anyone made 29ba01506a the decision to die.112d91276351dc35
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That kind 17866780fe of decision 525d043f2b was made eca41ad8d2 by those f88d159244 who had bc4d931cd1 come to d0e3d5d29b a dead c4aa904069 end in aaf30832cf their lives.75f1de8f8c1d1ce7
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‘You don’t know… You don’t understand…’ff81f289f4508604
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MuGyeom recalled the way ade5e0e2cb EunSeo had sobbed at e67c5e6ee8 the well. The sadness that b41033e0f8 had welled up b47b668821 within her had de46e040ee burst out with 3f5b3f0f17 her tears.ea766825d7eb57d3
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“I don’t understand.”91977913a9a3dc32
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EunSeo was right.c6b1bfd92e6d7a74
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MuGyeom didn’t know the sorrow within this woman’s heart.1e6ddd84545620c4
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He thought he knew, but after really thinking about it, he didn’t know the pain and suffering she had gone through.7eb3c31e954b4f5c
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He thought he understood her sorrow, but in actuality, he didn’t even have a clue.53e2fd9c07b21a54
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This was because d8dc9098e1 he had never de076a9d8f been unable to b9ff32bf4c walk before.5e9d1a975ee4c060
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How could he know 949469a69b something he had never 618be8472b experienced?199de926a466bfff
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The sorrows that he e259acf085 had experienced and the daaa68f9e0 sorrows that she had 0b77589084 gone through were completely 834710ac66 different.db564f4c0bcf0663
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“But even if we have to roll around in dog shit, I still think this life is worth living.”e188dcc33220cfbf
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If he died, who 542c7d28e3 would remember him?b9648c4787206c77
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People would only 5718b94a7d remember him if e09864669c he stayed alive.31de80e3cddb3a89
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What use were anyone’s nice words and comfort after death?9d8c042302551586
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“As you live, good days will pass. The heavens are fickle. Who knows? Maybe you will be able to walk one day.”a81ccf17281e2184
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However, no 99853a6197 matter how 2c69738eef fickle the 00a004e0dd heavens were, 34f6909ec5 even if 4b0dbc137f she could 91a959e51f regain the ef9322324d use of d964cc57e6 her legs 3887ea8aed or not, d2c9e7cf8b a servant 7e266c8c87 would always 0a537486d8 remain a 19975c25f8 servant.22ef6b4d3606cbae
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Would miracles only 9de99c2f21 happen to nobles?a8781ab5f354b44d
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Wouldthe heavens lower dfa29d717e a rope2for a humble ae5f5dc3f9 servant like him?0d30777708435339
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MuGyeom glanced at EunSeo’s thin, small wrist.60e05aa4bd32a6c7
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Her wrist b98a994df1 was slender, 22538d8ff7 her head 16e699924f was small, 07315e4fb2 and her 63deacde9c physique was d2f3df1e28 petite.0c94ad62359cab7d
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It almost seemed as if she wouldn’t be able to support her own slender body.d8e36a8a7887b5e7
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“Nobles are very strange. They abandon their own children in order to preserve their reputation.”364010970298f546
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He could understand why 3d0f160a68 her in-laws were acting 9f8a28afc8 like this.94b408ceccdbd840
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However, he couldn’t understand Lord Yoon. EunSeo was Lord Yoon’s daughter, wasn’t she?f13e852082ad419b
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He didn’t understand why he would marry off his daughter who was in this condition. And when she was abandoned and returned, why did he kick her out to the countryside like this?a6f162d722c51577
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Did he truly 3508bd7f3d not anticipate her 4278bc5dfe desire to take 2501acacee her own life 02ea1ead98 if he abandoned 549e028085 her like this?09e6d550bd938f29
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‘Actually… he might have wanted that…’475a3a0f7f4fcdb3
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By pushing his 53b4b3df24 daughter to go 6d75365f9b down to the 74fea72793 countryside, Lord Yoon c13eb05abc might have been c20927fd29 hinting at his e6990be3cd daughter to choose 46f208f432 death instead of 9ed794ad5b life.f22877779726b1f0
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What nobleman would be happy to receive a daughter who had been kicked out of her in-laws’ home?3c7f1aafd50d96ab
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He might have thought that they’d be better off if she didn’t exist at all.c18d326beacef15e
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That’s why he might have sent her here. And having taken the hint, EunSeo tried to throw herself down the well.438c0a952525f931
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If that faffe6eb93 was the 22d9328687 case, it 0b30b6fab1 all made f0fa7ea76f sense.770f94934603ccc8
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The old housekeeper and him… They were the only ones taking care of this house. It made sense why they sent their daughter to this house without sending a separate servant to attend to her needs.c9450df923f80116
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They sent a noble lady to the countryside alone, without a handmaiden to attend to her, because they knew that she wouldn’t live for very long. They might have thought that an extra servant might get in the way of her death.8d1d4a015441aff5
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They thought 9c1b4300c6 that if b6f56553aa she was 22d902441b in a 096ef4b4b7 house with d6237740df a half-deaf e048989d88 housekeeper and 55ef537005 one male bef739f8de servant, she 0c4fbf0204 would be 1ebf3ca111 able to 8043f21a95 carry out a3f90855ce her death 7c2e5ef3de on her c98ef82956 own.17981ee8e68dc70e
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“Humans can be so cruel…”9c6b43628dac8050
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Did nobles 3541bbee91 think their 2aa87bc97e reputations were 75ee351401 more important 8e641afb62 than their a75ac135fb own children?d64d819cb31fc85c
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His mother, who had been an ignored servant just like the generations before her, hadn’t conceived him out of her own will, but she still knew how to treasure the child she had carried in her belly. Although she let him know that he was a servant, she still cherished him.403a4649b4db2c11
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Despite knowing that the woman he married carried another man’s seed, his father had treated him even better than his own blood-related children.885d0d73e4b14f77
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While he wasn’t his birth father, he was the father who had raised him.6406f847eee7941d
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Because of their lowly stature as servants, they couldn’t do much to help him. However, they never turned their backs on him.262c3f035aa2bfbc
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Even humble servants knew 09b8bf34cf how to cherish their f72a46c08a children, so how could 9589722bcc these nobles push their dba1fd1234 own children to their dd9ea5ddb7 deaths?903e440e21c1024b
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“You had better walk. You should walk, and with your own two legs, confidently return to Hanyang. Wouldn’t that make you feel better?”4e56042e9e1c9f0a
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He thought dfdd055c4b it over b9dd756453 again and b4a79f1e1b was suddenly 9dffa987ff filled with 9a507e6824 disgust.124038dbebe008ad
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They sent their daughter to die in a place where only MuGyeom and the old housekeeper lived. After she died, weren’t they going to put Mugyeom and the old housekeeper to death as well?533746128e8c043c
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Well, if they 898fca8e0e were able to 9637e84b46 kill their own fd2aa2ee4c daughter, why would 48c29ed3c3 they hesitate to 0c7f618fce kill a mere 11e7220adb servant?0238e03d40ec3696
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“You must live, my lady, and so should I. Don’t you think we should both try to live?”d2f47192c8eb6eb6
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He wasn’t sure if it would be possible, but MuGyeom and EunSeo were in the same boat. He was going to help her because his own survival depended on hers.381ff5e86f6a1f0a
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It definitely wasn’t because she vowed to bite her tongue and die if she didn’t walk within 2 years.1345cdbf57663eca
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It definitely wasn’t that at all.b555c41edb9ba436
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Footnotes
- Ancient Korean method of coloring one's fingernails (since there was no nail polish) by crushing the flower petals (light orange color) and mixing it with vinegar. They would apply this mixture to their fingertips and bind them with cotton for a while to make sure it completely soaks the nails. There was also a superstition that one's first love would be fulfilled if the color remained on the fingernails by the first snowfall.
- Possibly a reference to a Korean folktale about the creation of the sun and the moon. Long story short, a brother and a sister are being chased by a tiger. The children pray to God for help. A long rope is lowered down from the heavens, and the children begin to climb up. The tiger prays as well, and a rope is also lowered down for him. As they climb higher, the tiger's rope breaks because it had been rotten all along. The tiger falls to its death, and the two siblings ascend into the heavens and become the sun and the moon.