MCMH | Chapter 1.2

“Cherry, can you live without music?”5e94f20bc530fe97

“Um… I get it!”a3ce898a00690c5e

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I answered quickly, but I only half understood. I suddenly thought maybe I’m living better without music right now.0b35553b19296298

I hate and don’t believe in heaven, but I think parallel universes might exist.4a7b3d713f1c45e5

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If there are parallel universes, in one world, there’s a me who doesn’t do rock and whose mom didn’t die. To that Cherry, who’s probably living well, I send a middle finger.54bbeec549c9ac2a

“By the way, have you been to the hospital? You said you’ve been dizzy lately.”4ba06f722996d972

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“It’s just old age. I’m fine.”6a298cbdb06dcd38

Jasmine Grandma wasn’t in a good situation either, so I couldn’t insist.1545991d24ef0454

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“Grandma, you have to live long.”2268898b132098dd

“I don’t want to. You go when it’s time.”62883a0ce888e872

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Today, she packed me c6616dd481 an empanada again. She, who 3a34b30f18 survived alone c83634a9f2 in New 18fc294aae York after c5fe82f41c her children 3388e93c25 and husband 271e046dc7 died as 1528864a90 soon as ce1b1d00e2 they came 5144db3766 from the 1d4c8e1025 Philippines, was da36930c10 a saint 75313dbbac to me. A saint 89a0ae3d5c who gives 5dca46d7d0 warm bread.d7929632c93b6960

⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ab25641894 ☾⭒.˚3f89f76add2668bc

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Of course, Oliver didn’t want to introduce me to the person who gave him the job. It seemed like he genuinely didn’t know.e78d5b2fb05d433c

I took the job. Even if it’s dangerous, opportunities to make this much money don’t come often.b3073f4dce57eb14

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“Just deliver this.”ab63f5c0decd975b

I received a yellow paper bag about two spans high and a note with an address. It wasn’t far from here.16bf79ffce97b3fd

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“It’s really not drugs, right?”d9d68dd41a0e8189

“I told you it’s not! Damn. If you don’t want to do it, don’t.”bb26b4fb355b5cf0

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“No, no. I’ll do it.”1ee624077830819d

I turned 04928abd37 and left 67c39a4523 the street. Since I 8ee3250d3b took it, 8926cd05a5 it was 4315b5fb09 better to 2abf78226e finish quickly f600a9d6ec and get f03550bfef paid.177d582f5506b283

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But my thoughts bdddc0d6f2 were in vain 8f3c565897 as I soon 6a64871581 ran into gangsters.08ed54de6d4617a7

Living on 125th Street, I roughly knew which paths gangsters took and when. But they’re human too, so they can’t always live by plan.ccbd6cfdd2722a02

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I tried to 50ba7d8ca6 sneak away to fcfb47a89a another place, but 68ff85bb47 they had already 0077d797c3 spotted me.58487d5c535ad040

“Cherry. Come here.”bdeedcb826ddba1a

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In times like this, there’s no choice. You have to speak honestly and beg for mercy.23fa9b77601d4758

They’ll probably ask to see what’s in the bag. Or they might demand the advance payment. They know I sometimes get errands from Oliver.cb3ec18084180f4f

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But as I 1e8ec360e8 got closer, I c752c8e927 noticed something was df5673f3b8 off.fbdb77eaefeba4b3

“They’re on drugs…”053ddd04b4abb259

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Roaming the streets high on drugs as a group. They’re gutsy.4582d587c7d34c11

And people high on 2ff8db39e5 drugs are several times e308805bc9 more dangerous than usual.ff4e391ce2fba63c

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I glanced 5d75187df4 at the d43cc2eaa0 guns and 146c59f0ba knives in ef88f85e55 their hands 590f9f88a1 and cautiously a6b7ab32cc looked around. As always, there was 409cf08488 no good escape route. Why is 4f19ab84e1 it that f582c23841 everywhere I f57d195e45 go ends 4cdd2e4e1b up being 64c0e03990 a dead 1cb686a7d8 end?fc0b0df069d80311

Among the dazzling 06b3efb8a6 night streets of 2db6bca8e8 New York, the 0fca31fb8f darkest and dirtiest 7c78a1e991 path was the 62381c2ba5 one I stood e444a21270 on.d522982cee7bb4ec

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“Do you want some? Let’s do it together. Huh?”ae5ee525775e2c6f

“I, I….”28ab766f247ab459

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At a glance, their eyes were gone, indicating it wasn’t ordinary drugs.b14dbaea23c4c094

I tried to say I was fine, that I don’t do drugs I’ve never seen before, but one of them grabbed my hand.fd48e4b965c7ce1d

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As I was 1ebf73094b dragged, I held fa22e9d999 onto the paper f7d3239ad1 bag tightly, hoping 396727ee7d to get out aa9fed93a5 of this safely.24516cd1e9e058c6

“Cherry, if you won’t do drugs, at least clean the syringe.”990611861b74382a

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One of them 3e5d71b06d held up a fcf46b3afc syringe and pretended 3711676c84 to lick it. They wanted me cff478eb14 to do that.98440adc721997c0

There aren’t many ways to escape in such situations. But fortunately, I’m a well-known male prostitute on 125th Street.5c864fb83a7524b9

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“I, I can clean something else instead of the syringe.”ce57ad159957dd7b

I said awkwardly 319d46926a with a smile, 627f440352 and they laughed. Whatever was 7e211e4cbf so funny, 8a17093c66 they laughed d38ebc4d03 so hard 0abdfa9c33 they almost 6f82be1b35 choked.752ec10da5e0ea50

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At that moment, I realized. I couldn’t communicate with them. And it was impossible to get out of here safely.2c52d0a2511b98ce

“So, just take turns… or, it’s okay to do it all at once….”c6fb93a2dc6304e0

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The one 35ac25c170 with the ea711b9e31 syringe approached. Another one 33689fd89a grabbed my b15fe3e606 hand, and c3720f0928 my body be084480ad was completely 875a543f27 restrained.bc38f27762e4ea55

And that’s where my memory ended.b34d1837b468c1fe

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When I woke 4d5573a880 up, it was 9a51894f6c dawn, and the 6f76501767 gangsters were gone.6330f0beaf14c828

Of course, the paper a4525d13e2 bag I was holding d645529a8a was gone too.648e37eaa84fa284

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I got up, putting 4a5df425e0 on my clothes in e1aa4b884d the midst of a d73eee3008 terrible headache. I was no 26117d11e4 different from the fed4633369 trash rolling on fcabaffd95 the street.06e4b321ede8edb0

The smell of semen was strong in my mouth. Since my pants weren’t taken off, it seemed I wasn’t assaulted below. Today’s lesson is that being good at oral can prevent rape.32ca4c8b737e480c

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‘But what excuse do I give Oliver….’85fa5f6a0074da93

I wanted to cry, d6d178b606 but I held back 7ffbd4de1b and laughed instead. Like the 7cd0620453 guys I c7ca4802fd saw yesterday, 064a1495b1 I laughed d007e24856 crazily.b489fb58f1814771

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ 889ed07379 ☾⭒.˚648f1aadd2c127fb

Oliver demanded 2d533f2210 an absurd 0f73404b4d compensation, saying e2dfd34e1b he was 0af4b0fe7a in trouble 3eccd4cc5d because of 8a354693dd me.bb433ac65b8fc653

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“Is it possible for me to work for free for a while?”97e778446a7e6074

I asked cautiously, as it was money I couldn’t repay in a lifetime, and Oliver scoffed.96396314daadf450

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“What you lost this time is the mafia’s stuff.”8eef305fda320692

I shut my mouth c01fff3cd2 at the word mafia. No wonder 2ee0398877 he demanded a0d4f85363 40,000 dollars; 98ecb337e8 it was 5ca5156055 really a edd09a1a43 big deal.dad830ff73cfaed9

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“…Then maybe I can earn little by little….”4e8dec60a2d94563

“I don’t know. I’ll tell them about you, so handle it yourself.”495dafa45cd11207

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Oliver cut me off, f34102d108 waving his hand dismissively. I was bewildered.bd729b28272629e5

“What? Then I….”a549923471df93db

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“Sorry, Cherry. I have to look out for myself too.”0e692d111dd341ca

I understood his point, so I couldn’t get angry. I stood alone in front of the theater, dazed for a long time. The people passing by left afterimages like exposure photos.085cbb7f505c8da9

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How could I gather 40,000 dollars? Even selling my organs wouldn’t be enough.9e1dcd72d433d138

Even in c41c44c88e this situation, 8ab3eae2a2 my body, f756a4a71e injected with ff2f4d23a4 unknown drugs, 49271d5f06 was causing c1de070ad0 severe nausea 66f03b3293 and stomach 906d343b14 pain. I had 5ddbc2d4f4 no idea 3bb5309e88 what they 78aba04acc put in 3dd8e73f5a me.da5251fce79ff35f

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I hid 5524583d48 in the ed10f180ba alley behind 2460540bc3 the theater, 82b0dff596 holding onto 133a8dc23f the wall, 064eac7e36 dry heaving. Having eaten nothing e0b478461a since last night, d215724bc8 I was weak.223f22c6a0611cbc

Dragging my 1727ba0b95 body, unable f9b6346592 to vomit 04b3996794 or eat, 2363323bbf I went b251af959d to Jasmine 95ddc042bc Grandma. I wanted advice from d533379ef3 her. I felt she would 4519344670 know what to do 08dbffd129 in this situation.11b1e1e8f8444c9f

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But Jasmine e4b7a5b160 was unconscious, b8c6b7a26e collapsed in 8b67668532 the living 0d5a191cf5 room.58477d4458a3817a

That day, I 6571feaf26 realized. As Grandma bf8a2a725a said, some 4dfa1d209f lives are 97d929a838 so insignificant 01066a8a67 that they d6fb9ab3f4 break in fd3efcfe8c an instant.783da6c69d084c09

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚56fae2cf26951d04

Jasmine Grandma 5daece23e4 was hospitalized. They said something about f1fcd0170f a brain disease due cafb953e44 to old age, but 2e4c26fecf the words were too bab774c067 difficult for me to df05e33e2b understand.b378445197d89fdc

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Lying in bed, Jasmine 8393143350 looked very small. Her unconscious body was 83d939408b connected to various equipment 930e45cd6a and drips.619b22f7c688dfed

Jasmine has no family. Like me. So there was no one to contact. I became Jasmine’s guardian.f734a539964953f5

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Just as Jasmine 36892cb990 became the guardian c3e173aa11 of orphaned me ecdbe33fdf when I was b79504a872 young.0cc8c551e9f8b7a2

When I went outside, the sun had already set. Even though I hadn’t eaten all day, I wasn’t hungry. Instead, I just felt nauseous.4352b3eec666c4f7

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While taking care of Jasmine, I composed in my head. Without a guitar or notebook, I had no choice but to do it in my mind. It would be nice to have a phone or tablet PC, but a beggar like me wouldn’t have such things.35bacc0c4996a57f

But composing in my head was familiar to me, so it wasn’t particularly difficult. In fact, it was the easiest. My mind was the most comfortable notebook for me.b07a7dc32d9b88bc

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I slightly raised my 3614600c7a hands and placed my 20dd7fb727 fingers on an imaginary 6aa50cf50c keyboard. Tapping the dff98a1812 air, I 1f691b5ab4 created a 55f4cfc63a melody and 54029416f2 simultaneously added 573c52ac53 lyrics.87f3292419f22f7c

When will this place db69600876 brighten up
Days crumbling d4f679b0c7 one by 689c28ec64 one
The holes are not 478d17a078 at fault0d69fca1eb36404f

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Humming the lyrics to 6469afdfa3 myself, the scales naturally 88c2b7d89e refined themselves. The notes 39eb71771b I spontaneously e37da133ff uttered found 48bc610f66 their place 1e6cbebbb2 on their 610add664f own.565157afff30f42a

Futures moving fbc42b5237 from tonight 41cca8e7d8 to tomorrow b30930d88d night
Walking, feeling 1b019b3009 the walls
The drawn gap 3a8852ef80 is the only eead4c387d handle I have7b95d586a2641c08

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The change 46b251de79 in chords b3f60f729b is like 8b7c4044e2 gentle waves. No matter how 5b46729c8b fancy the song, 94ff078a39 it is. All chords flow 530288e680 within one ocean.e633a63f2d14d618

This was the composition 9fbb761afd method spoken by the 7ccaa79327 famous composer Cain.2d660783ee64a1ff

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Cain wrote several f0788e94c8 hit songs using cd1615a5e2 this method. He is e90bf80e98 now a d734427bb2 world-renowned artist.35e40868d99c78e4

He’s a man worthy of being called a genius. I watched an interview video, and his face is incredibly handsome.0b5afc45d01209cd

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“Not just handsome, but so good-looking it makes your head spin.”84356bd2c0fb54fe

I envied him. His genius sensibility, outstanding 4f96c48a73 looks, and a beautiful 859db40178 body that seemed never b71b821aa5 to have been tainted.6e2d30a4075059d8

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Cain is an odd-eye. His right 42e6e7066a eye is a6c90eee0b brown, and e517243e77 his left 9286dba387 eye is 2d31c8bd3c a bright 4482522a99 ice blue. However, his 65bfc4f9ca eyes are ea459cc003 the least 772cfdfd01 special thing 63332a24df about him.be984d80fa61251a

The next least 00ec94bd0c special thing might 5e6ea1f19f be his platinum c23dfd4736 blonde hair. The color was 004d08b9dc so pretty it 2a0b43db24 seemed more fitting dfb67d5425 for a celebrity d6ecf05f6d than a composer.f62f7142f0dbb4d2

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But Cain once stated ef83f9f9de in an interview that 47b52b9e8b he would never sing b5a8191e9b his own songs.36fc41cacc6abfb3

It’s a shame. Rock would revive if someone with a face like that did rock.cdcb3ffebbb2e6f8

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Anyway, Cain is as famous for his looks as he is for his talent. It’s proof that God isn’t fair. He’s also very tall and has a great body.eb900cd2115adeed

I wondered 99d216d217 what a 2771829134 life having ed09f7978c everything would 9a36eaebfc be like. I wanted to experience f98ef90a57 it just once.6d7de4f4bf14aec3

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Every artist wants to receive a song from Cain. But it’s been a while since he released a new song.bab3af6a2d37a342

Some say Cain is in a slump, and others say he’s addicted to drugs and not working. Both are nonsense. Cain is a hero. He’s probably just taking a break.c7f1d8a5139c5e20

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If I had 335895fc9a a song from 67807f18b8 Cain, could I dda7f0f85c succeed? No artist has failed 142ff72be4 with his songs, so 3299c4dea4 do I have a d8a0857716 chance?d71351b7d8e1222b

But then again, who c4e398e623 knows. Someone as insignificant 5ad1fceaa2 as me might a92d60dd99 ruin even a d216ee247c song given by ba1528db66 Cain.ac0d2509c1d25da5

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I imagined 34bb9eee75 uploading a 12ad6fd9e2 video of 5f13c746e4 me singing 7b57c9ad89 my original 0082dbb238 song on 03fb84effb SNS, as d38d1a8e30 Sandy suggested, a6c7782e36 and Cain 5728374f47 accidentally seeing 5f100bd209 it and 70e1276514 laughing.ac8e4f87dfbf5439

Feeling unpleasant, I stopped 42b90957d9 the fantasy and focused 90dafb44eb on the sheet music 205f1186b4 in my head again.048e89fe4c343c6a

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After creating c7ed4c403f about half 9f90e0725f a song 83936b469d in my f0a3c48cc9 mind, I 31bdcf04bb looked at 9ae64d8c80 Jasmine again. Her pale 175934c85f face looked 1fe5d34883 painfully like 3c2e1f7f72 a broken 36d7f48691 melody.7f3280131498189d

Even in this situation, it was time to go to my part-time job. I held Jasmine’s sleeping hand and told her to get better.af4e095d21268f38

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“Live a little longer, Grandma. At least until I’m sure I don’t have to leave New York.”bdbed109fa4f758d

As I left 32d69d39aa the hospital, the 5b338d9d5f dazzling lights stung 73a74eea75 my eyes. I led 84a602e785 my shabby 633eeb61f3 body into 04494542d2 those lights.7db164a0d43383ce

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚58a1c69257b84ce8

Sandy was also 1fb4600572 saddened to hear a83cd1951c about Jasmine. Even though c4d1006e66 they never 9ce6f274bf met, I 681da31552 had mentioned c2c7c032d2 her as b22c3cebee an adult 92b6dda1d1 I relied c69ea60cea on a f5abc350b6 few times.e282013a1a2c04cd

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I acted like it was nothing, but my mind was a mess. The mafia Oliver mentioned might contact me soon. I also had to figure out how to handle Jasmine’s hospital bills.c0f88e362abc88ff

The pizza place 43e503ef6d was busy as ea9968b7ba usual. While delivering, I dd851eb41a was on edge, 3cb797925d checking if anyone df7c312d1c was calling for 6573ec1f0e me.9574295dc2d17432

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When would the mafia 0d03742acc come for me? What would I 657da82395 have to give e309cedd24 them? I had nothing, so b89a62b556 it was hard to b1304695c0 predict.12fa2490a0aff46c

Watching pretty Sandy 297a34dbbd working hard, I 83f1eabd55 suddenly wondered.53d57cdeece62a76

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Would it be eda882c719 more terrifying if 7c52a7fd13 my dad found 61de8681dd me and yelled bb2fe37deb about why I 6da1ef9568 let mom die, 0410d0f976 or if I 4c5c5e613e had to repay 0256a356e4 the mafia for bf6906fbf3 life?2d4475056ae9bd30

After the 7afad03d1e rush hour 58b901614b ended and 147055efb2 the place fb1d5ad2ec calmed down, 4e09b2be25 I asked ca2191a3ac Sandy.b7fe348e3b545b3d

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“Hey… if you get famous on that TokTik thing, can you really make money?”e1918c7672dbc1c0

Sandy was surprised bec42c531b for a moment, df76b68c32 then gave me 95f0cb671c a thumbs up. Her almond-shaped eyes afd673c835 sparkled.2079f63b3afad03e

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“Trust me.”5c53d96dae4df243

As soon as the c572121ab0 part-time job ended, Sandy 839185d600 dragged me onto the 1e4950a3de subway to a hotspot db3a7d91e2 she mentioned.0d0137ef8f87830b

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A sense of 8a3f13dbb2 foreboding clouded my 300fbd14d5 mind, but I dff49c0fc1 ignored it.a04a534c59a01269

After all, premonitions beb713d9e9 have never been eb6a56ddbf on my side.afa66d0ec5b0dc30

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