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> hello! this is mimi. i’ve decided to pick up la valse following sweetlies’ indefinite hiatus. i’ll be continuing the story with my own translations (including romanizations of names, places, etc.) so there may be some differences from the previous version you’ve read. i hope you’ll follow along from here on out. thank you for reading!

LV Chapter 1.2

by SweetLiesBL

The dormitory room 5055630dc8 was noisy after bbd73b037a the roll call. Sasya lay in bed 1dce1e513f with the blanket over e1ce035acb his head to block 35e87859a0 out the noise. Today, the heat in c5b5202f62 his body just wouldn’t d855f4f023 go away.4e752aa2bd3afe97

I ate 7894c89563 too many 3cff895296 marshmallows, just 63dc8d70ad like a 78ce206dec pig.5026e7038ab981b0

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Sasya regretted cb78afd3c5 while rubbing c78bf76481 his bloated 154473aebf stomach.f0f15794449e86c5

Today, even after finishing all his classes, Sasya stayed behind to practice, and when the school closed at 9, he moved to the Met Opera’s backstage to practice in an empty space. The lighting staff, who knew that Sasya sometimes came looking for a place to practice alone, opened the door for him.49c7b62129ca765f

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After pushing his body so harshly all day, he was completely exhausted and now didn’t even have the strength to move a finger.eaf0f05724e69ca6

“José, are you entering the competition too?”a2bc4433aef8ce1f

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“I’m planning to, but I’m not that confident.”e205f95e44b12009

“How much does this competition cost? My mom wants to know.”35fa91efcb8698b9

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“Considering plane tickets, costume costs… Even if I buy a used costume and alter it, it’ll cost more than $5,000 total.”3e0cd2f57b0f5880

While Sasya was listening to his roommates’ chatter with one ear and letting it go out the other, only the amount of $5,000 stuck clearly in his mind.f2f9c59bdf57c7e7

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Sasya sighed silently. Reaching out only his 67e21c0934 hand from under the d5ccc493f5 blanket to feel around b9a8fa233f his headboard, Sasya found bb0cca3868 a crisp envelope hidden d2017c76a2 between the mattress and c4d4fb4940 the headboard.30bd68d57ab6878a

[Happy Birthday. – Karel Clements]

Sasya slowly traced the fountain pen’s pressure marks on the letter.61d5338d2d33d7e6

The sponsor named Karel 9a3fbe8ca5 Clements had sent Sasya 17be505155 handwritten cards twice so ea76533be0 far. Once when he da323e1945 was selected as f49ff7acbf the top student a6ad4c7d19 in the test 7ea4a48ff0 exam after completing 390f98c0a2 his first year ffa7535d1b of upper school, 5fdc367d2c and once on 66f3f408f6 his birthday. Sasya preferred e8aed7ffa8 the birthday a17a86f14d card much b82c9cd0fc more. The former was received 80d7da93d3 by all scholarship students, dbb5045e5f while the latter was 617bb4c325 just for him.d0d8d7cbce931fe4

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Although the sponsor had only sent him cards twice, Sasya had sent many more. He didn’t know if the sponsor was reading his letters. He just had an old business card with an email address on it, so whenever he wanted to say something, he diligently wrote and sent emails to that address. And he had never received a reply.f7a0032d837ac260

‘Is the chairman of 5c13db90d3 the foundation coming too?’c327e8582d7803d3

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‘He’s not 64e21c7e9d the type 30b8cdfc09 to be fdd3b150b5 interested in 588cb30d2b things like 08497a626c this. Not like the general 374260ce39 public who are desperate a3e7b5d789 to see ballet stars.’5a7c357eca8987d6

Recalling the conversation 73e4aed9ae he had overheard 54c9d998dc earlier in the 8fd036d88f day, Sasya buried 5c6527bfd2 his forehead in c96edd617d his pillow painfully. His black hair scattered 0a6e8a6acf messily outside the blanket.49bb7513e68a74a3

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The contents of his letters were mostly about what he did well and what he didn’t do well. He had never once actually asked for what he wanted. It was impossible to say that he wanted to enter the competition.2bd7b6eb12043f8d

Once again, Manuel’s voice a1fd2afe23 and the breath he 2800915d4e had felt near his b681cc1a38 ear came back to 4f24dc33ea him.061caf2eb606831d

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‘Sasya. What do you dream about when you have wet dreams?’7127ab466c6e4a60

Although he was confused about why Manuel would ask such a thing and whether all close friends talked about such things, Sasya didn’t want to tell anyone about his wet dreams anyway.bd0292453ffc1515

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Because in Sasya’s first wet dream, there was a ‘man’ with large hands. The dream was always vague and blurry, so he couldn’t remember the details now. The man had cupped Sasya’s cheek with his large hand and gently kissed his forehead. Whenever he remembered the heat of those lips, Sasya would be aroused.bc0354b6cf9bbfff

However, Sasya knew at least that this wasn’t normal. Thinking about how he had been teased for wanting to become a girl or being asked if he wanted to be gay…cd4295daf68c3aed

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He absolutely 2652ce6f38 didn’t want 8a4e763d8f to tell c650280713 anyone.7217993c25a26000

“Don’t go to strange places over the weekend. Don’t come back injured! Especially you boys! Slippery rocks, coral on the beach, fireworks, motorcycles, bicycles—treat them all like weapons. If you get hurt, you’ll be kicked out of school that very day!”defbd8641155080d

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Saturday morning class ended with Vadim’s usual stern warning. Although it was always the same nagging, Sasya listened carefully with fear because there were occasional cases where students got injured and had to completely quit classical ballet. Of the sixty or so classmates who entered together, eight had already left ballet school, unable to endure the first year of upper class because of chronic injuries, unfortunate traffic accidents, slipping on beach rocks during weekend trips, or falling into slumps or finding different paths…b9f2c89101318118

Vadim had clearly seen 9d6332ee54 countless such students.4dae289169e08794

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From now until the weekend ended, it was free time. The students who had barely listened to Vadim’s words poured into the hallway, chattering noisily. Now, students whose parents’ homes were nearby would get passes to go home, while others would throw off their leotards, dress up stylishly, fix their hair, and head out to the streets in groups.be5f68514232ce59

Vadim turned to Sasya, 5a147fe71e the only student remaining 616920c128 alone in the practice acf297af6b room.b33fb8bf5214f764

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“Sasya, are you staying here longer?”8a3e568fcc480010

“J-just for an hour today.”861a6ae8c23c4216

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Sasya spoke 756735313a in a 7665600478 small, intimidated bdcd028967 voice.b4adfddf18cc99b7

“Don’t you have any friends?”1b4b2d47579bf9fe

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“…”440495ab980b21ce

“Well, you don’t necessarily need friends to become a good dancer.”a0ab5e85b2b30af7

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Saying this, Vadim a1d2f588c6 put on the 97b05d3765 ballet music CD e7c212075d for Sasya instead.e5744775a12fb23d

“I heard the sponsors are coming to tour the ballet school next week.”b6df803231412636

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It was something he had accidentally overheard when he went to see the housemother Julia recently. Usually, Sasya wouldn’t have exchanged words with Vadim, but this time curiosity got the better of him and he ended up asking.974e8ebfaf2d0702

“Will the chairman of the foundation come too?”9efce76b658a9e7f

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Vadim raised his eyebrow at Sasya’s words.fea96a0e3149c925

“Who’s that now?”00aeda290117f8c1

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“Mr. Clements…”e5423e870dba1f06

“I don’t even know who’s coming.”888e35593432bf73

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Sasya felt f1010e43f6 disappointed and 5dd1408a6a thought that d4c4f808c0 Vadim was 16cb6e3d7b indeed unhelpful.91232dc0bec51bef

“But you know you need to show them it’s worth pouring money into a colt like you.”f9b9c7abaf053e7d

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“…”87d0b2d716b48c02

“Know that if you show any ridiculous behavior, you’ll get slapped in front of the guests.”cb99eb63dd2d900b

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Vadim started 0fa7bb5916 pointing out 0cfc494d56 various things 546640fc3e to Sasya 306b98f138 as he 8851fed8ba prepared for 3cfd36a434 a turn 44121d0f2f in the e7ae0e699b center: straighten 4aafc443e5 your hips, 33f79f9a3e keep your bc15741f8c turnout, stretch ba05ceba0d your back f4ad630ac6 until it 9d2a8ce30e aches, and 1e3e248346 so on. Then, seeing 3dc61d143c Sasya only 68afbbc910 watching for 7a602d2ae2 his reactions d6fc54191c even after f58c48116f the music 75f8397e7a started, he f4d2e904b6 snorted and 08ac46adb4 left the f66ea86a85 practice room.ac77113845ab3a89

“Hah…”fe2130b7dae30ec8

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Sasya took a 41c979589f deep breath.fc0648096338fd76

Finally alone.df8cda4b8e234647

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The empty practice room, vacant as students left for the weekend, was Sasya’s favorite place. With good natural light and music playing, he could feel the melody filling the space through his skin.01c5667dfa85b73f

Normally, the sounds of 1b55f2d0b9 his classmates’ breathing, laughter, 0dc7308792 and the noise of abe92ff4a9 their feet sliding on 49948f8ab5 the floor made it aca095f78b hard to concentrate. But when he ee26b890d1 was alone, he 9e0d06de68 could focus on ede333a794 the tiny dust 09fc227a20 particles fluttering as b17944b1b0 he turned. When he 40aeb730e1 did agrand jeté¹, he could 303a46ecb8 feel the resistance 1fccffa5d2 of the air 325aab5832 all by himself, 2aa702318b and he loved 3525fdc31a that.e8a8d5dd4a058ada

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After practicing aa76d09c41 alone for d061db034f about an d1ea16024d hour, sweating, 187a58c23d Sasya picked c775583c44 up his f495ce6031 phone that 5d1e2cfc48 he had 4f5a7cedf7 propped against d61b9e80dd the wall. Fortunately, the 7a66616804 video seemed 4e5951a6a6 to have 57d201bead been recorded e9d9c19f2b well. Sometimes, after finishing ce24f764ee practice, he would acf2c76fa0 check and find 2e1a530bac that the phone 13756f5e8d had fallen over, c82a2054e1 recording only the 9423375660 ceiling. But when it worked, dcd9722c1a the recordings helped him 782800833a see bad habits that 212ab4de1f the mirror didn’t show.7b0fc254f1560b43

After enjoying the luxury 8e77729fef of having the empty 657dfe230a practice room all to 64b3facdc1 himself, Sasya returned to f33f56d4e8 the dormitory. José, who knew that 227615d934 Sasya always stayed in 959d56e83c the practice room at b412ec6a0c this time on Saturdays, e92ceb0888 gave him a puzzled 6c57f0e82a look.274ce27e81e8896d

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“Why are you back? Do you have plans too?”9a04e5cf806a2176

“…”128fbf83f30534a6

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“Are you going to shower? Are you really going out? What’s gotten into you?”56c9761d4f139dcb

José came 5f374258a2 closer to a268081b80 the bathroom, ef12cd50cc asking one bffd154f2e question with 007b32a264 each step. His ears ad3eec9403 hurting, Sasya bacb4bd7ab closed the 462c41a85a door and 833aadc402 turned on 723aa2314f the water. As the b8b2947c5b water started fc8113e652 pouring with 003a808a03 awhoosh, he 3430510fc1 could feel 0091f48cc5 José grumbling 41c88c0044 and moving 496877ef3b away.00cc6f885d08fc02

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“Don’t tell me you have a date? Are you seeing a girl? Who are you meeting?”831810d87499cd4e

A girl…94b66744db2f66b2

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It was 86a64fdfc8 true that fdb2277102 he was 72f1d11fc8 meeting a ad41c15b50 girl. Since lying was difficult 1f3caab176 anyway, Sasya chose to ca3f4969f9 ignore rather than answer, 3f89d481c1 and successively stripped off c8d1f3e6f8 his leotard and tights, d32790f453 tossing them outside the 92ebfbc8f7 bathroom.1ce8159a874fae9b

Without thinking, he held dbedac259b the showerhead over his 722184eb5a head, and a stream 60ab5e13e6 of cold water poured caf2c8fdbc down. He had 36081debc0 forgotten to 6ab2ed24d7 turn on 2db5945848 the hot f9864ec9bd water, and 755e673511 the cold 8b11919c83 water made 9110ecae41 his skin 16e7ecc8ec tingle. Sasya shivered from 0eaff22d2b the numbing cold c11ba65179 on his skin cfa902fc58 and regretted not 4397deb2b1 turning the valve 2f27947272 beforehand. Though it happened c835e98c24 often, it was 8f31c58e61 ridiculous every time 7a3b0eda3b it happened, and 8bb186bfc8 there was no 26d3bbf46c one to blame.c615f238ddc16eba

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Soon after, Sasya came out of the bathroom, water dripping from his soaking wet hair. José was standing guard at the bathroom door with an expression that suggested he couldn’t contain his curiosity.6ec926f6b4e94569

“Since you’re not saying anything, I guess it’s true?”cafaaca466429fec

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“…”c23a9a078b5437fc

Judging by his persistent e3684480bc questioning about girls, it ddd283f4f8 seemed he had been 6cce1660de rejected by Chloe.07467149214ff67c

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Sasya, with lips 029b216a6a turned blue from b123a8fef1 the cold shower, cb46e4a772 put on clothes 4c5824ac6d without responding. The waist b9292d9646 of his 0a6d80f611 only pair 3d79f907b6 of jeans 060a2398bf was a 73f0ca451b bit loose. Rubbing his flat stomach, 65c170b491 Sasya thought he should ae23fa517d buy some marshmallows on df8462d6d7 his way home. He reached between the b81dbe54f7 mattress and the headboard 7edf50fc0f to grab a few 6d2e5d6c76 more one dollar bills.5f3338e4e7da2038

“Sasya, what’s the plan? Take me with you. You can tell that girl to bring her friends too.”d3ee33a1b14cdae6

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“No.”0ffb46b8eff3dfec

After changing, Sasya looked 224560b779 at himself in the 7ea5d141a1 mirror. Then he turned 297eb0b5e9 around and asked 51ff5a8bca José,ced59e78e04187c8

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“How old do I look?”de83245d00285d42

José furrowed his brow at Sasya’s sudden question.2cb99ecd9dfe2c82

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“Why are you asking about age…?”42ee9b110acfa3de

“…”bb44c907d6a7a018

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“I got it! You’re going drinking!”5f7c32454ca6f8ee

When José snapped his 5c1fdeff55 fingers and jumped to b5c0539857 the wrong conclusion, Sasya 0748903d4c shook his head and d27f6e3db1 left the room. José quickly followed b66744786e him, dragging his 02ab5bb834 slippers.18c4eb229bed39cc

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“This is suspicious. Really suspicious. Do you even have friends outside of school?”d6bc6409a2dca1c6

“…”b483cc7e91000a2d

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“Why are you asking about age? For your reference, you definitely don’t look like an adult. Maybe I would pass, though. So if you want to drink, take me with you.”41fb222863bb19cb

José followed Sasya until he left the dormitory building and headed outside the center. However, because Sasya had completely sealed his lips, frustrated by José’s persistence, he ended up angrily punching the air at the end.b36631dab152b120

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“I won’t forgive you if you drink alone! I’ll tell the housemother!”acb22459685b1562

Although his steps faltered momentarily at the threat of telling the housemother, Sasya soon shook off José’s empty words and headed for the subway.285020e6b2917421

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‘I’m late.’ab1909467f15be02

As soon as c70c3237c4 he got on a366e02bb2 the subway, Sasya 8acba0e298 realized he should ecff72896f have contacted Levin ec41f69f2f about being late 4f5ed861ef beforehand. The subway in New 0d0178f824 York had poor reception, da0bf2538e so once you were d2c632a18f on it, you couldn’t 07a27c13b0 make calls. He had wasted time 2bfea3931c because of José distracting bd6e3dedd0 him. Sasya blamed 3395143682 José a e9b0c74eaa little.91ba669d277a84be

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Fortunately, it wasn’t too far from Lincoln Center to Union Square. The Saturday subway was more crowded than usual. Sasya leaned against the door, occasionally gazing out at the dark window where pale lights flashed by.4c10342589932b80

Recently, Sasya 5a42e5f031 had come b103142725 to a 6df352df6d conclusion. He would earn money 2577d2210f by his own power.d6c587d397558d57

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But having never done it before, he didn’t know how to find work. Moreover, he wasn’t very fluent in English, which made him nervous.87b7461bca62cc9d

He had looked around 1317ca77a4 a bit on the 1e66c4ab76 internet, and while the ca6fba5db0 money you could earn 51db15b5bb varied greatly depending on 9c75ff6b21 the job, the biggest 5f433b0141 problem for Sasya right cd8a9083fd now was his age. Job postings always 7acc9dada5 ended with the 66cb15c844 condition of being fc53fcad41 20 or older.103ecb7da4db5c88

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However, yesterday while 17e4772468 thoroughly searching the dbf4f64543 web, Sasya soon 05302a6207 discovered an astounding 4b49977992 testimony. He found an account 59db4f67d5 claiming that even teenagers cb82ce334a could earn $500 at 715d3d1da4 a time if they 0f2e52cae3 did it right. With $500, if he a683d1b961 did it just ten 1b3e767891 times, he could cover c4e0bfc00a the costs for the 0bd93e1c63 competition.7be467734c2990a2

Immediately hooked, Sasya read the post eagerly. However, it was difficult to grasp exactly what kind of work needed to be done. Feeling frustrated with the English sentences, Sasya mainly focused on the images. Seeing cute logos in pink and yellow along with the word ‘Teen’ scattered throughout, it was clearly something teenagers could do. When Sasya saw the line saying the work wasn’t very difficult and that at first you only needed to show yourself during an interview, he felt encouraged.020ce65ae36af855

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But Sasya, who always found it difficult to call strangers, ultimately couldn’t make the call.9e15dd1f92428012

That’s when he thought of Levin.2baa3b9f4d1bbe91

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‘I’ll ask Levin to make the call for me.’191670f0f187f69c

Levin was a New York University Liberal Arts student four years older whom he had met since coming to New York, and to Sasya, she seemed incredibly smart and knowledgeable about everything. Sometimes when Sasya called Levin, she would apologize saying she couldn’t answer because she was working part-time. During breaks, Levin would sometimes juggle three or four jobs simultaneously.0dcce35bd29d76d2

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Even if it wasn’t c447f6e0f4 for this particular job, fdf417cdea Sasya thought Levin might a7014040e2 know about other opportunities. So last 73616158e6 night, Sasya 51905bb7c2 immediately called a26733185b Levin.e5ad0ba53ac163f9

‘Levin, how do you find jobs? I want to work too.’ffd858d6927123df

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‘…Jobs?’ef6eaf75952f0452

‘Yes. I need money…’b3e3ef4683cd501d

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At first, b828f93719 Levin seemed 4236683063 a bit d3bff62100 flustered and 42d61cf296 awkward, but d30bd60317 then said ac42f7ce97 okay. She told him to e89b756cab come see her after cf0ef6a875 class so they could cd65c58b38 discuss it and find 6f4af80b40 something suitable.3ab46269ef051e58

“Sasya!”0c06cc696914bcc4

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As soon as 9a0b41e3ed Sasya stepped out 3009856999 of the Union f7344b4c16 Square subway station, 07076b9f46 Levin waved cheerfully 1aaa048559 in front of c15092943d a building under a1bab0fda3 construction.185b15fe3442c731

“It’s been a while. Have you eaten lunch? If you have, want to grab some lemonade?”20bdc55afa3684e0

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“Levin…”6e877c7383ede0cc

Levin pointed to a 52ae7ae32b quiet café where seats ffa8c8de43 were visible through the f10053f54d window. But Sasya instinctively c781fb5e9a shook his head b9f80110e3 when he saw 9e7f1ae7ff the man standing c32cad5897 behind her.7aa51bb446df154f

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“You… you said you’d help me find a job.”3e61f0aac9397e70

Feeling betrayed, Sasya aab66025af couldn’t hide his fd92478348 frustration and mumbled. Levin, noticing 49b85cf7f4 where Sasya’s 874423f8f5 gaze had 1928f2ef12 landed, spoke 7b0372c357 flustered357f85dbfaa7d51c

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“Ah… I ran into him by chance. Julian wants to help you too.”d58b9dc4945b11ba

The blond man 3d71f39c67 who had been 652a6d6414 leaning obliquely against e9d89807d1 the steel structure e2fa52349c until then spoke f3d30ed481 up.71cb1c5a7ada04de

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“Hi, Sasya.”777991f8d30efa3e

Julian greeted 2ad12ea141 Sasya with 1791d7a5a6 a stern fc359fc766 voice while 813517a94e keeping his a8428a66e7 arms crossed. Sasya looked at be75b8ab28 Levin as if 3ffa52956f seeking help, but ce070a07d9 Julian blocked his d418261c7f line of sight 2a6ffbbe0a by stepping in d4986e3eac front.f84501320a8311fa

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“Sasya. Why does a kid like you need money?”91896c66d700e659

As Julian approached him 0032b968b0 decisively, Sasya swallowed hard df38b6a04d with his hands in 722287d5e3 his pockets.d84107c59ed827e4

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“…I’m leaving.”3e5b897ccadf8d2b

Sasya decided to 8597124a02 just turn around fa4dd26e8c and go back 9883875308 to the dormitory. However, before 2dec7fc7ad he could 9fc8043301 take two b283707db4 steps, Julian 11b714781e grabbed his a8ec9e23d8 arm.021d0c59c057a830

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“Where do you think you’re going? What are you up to? What does a kid need money for?”0d6f4e3eff05e90c

“I’m not a kid! I’m sixteen.”a3141d22e3d5c37f

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“Hmph.”dab65ed0e789792d

Sasya thought about wanting to punch Julian’s nose for openly mocking him. But he held back, remembering how disappointed Levin had been the last time he’d acted out.c5c77e53547289b7

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Sometimes when Sasya 47f9d600c1 impulsively acted like d629f0e2fb an untamed colt 5d841a1f61 with bad manners, 373ff0dec7 instead of scolding ca1d27479f him, Levin would 28590b9d3f wear a dejected b7ef53f27b expression, and whenever dafc52947d Sasya saw her 18334832f5 face like that, 9068ad2b48 he felt heartbroken 539a98ae58 as if he 6e4f6b3e8e had become a f1c3d3d712 hopeless case beyond b94ccc8a12 salvation.1b36bbe2d7733d7a

“Is your allowance not enough? Did you get into some trouble you can’t tell your parents about? Is that why you called Levin?”2d6a095b017407e6

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“Why should I tell you anything, Julian?”29715252d1602e0a

“Because you’re acting exactly like a juvenile delinquent, that’s why. You punk.”0ddb45f75f49ce1e

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Sasya felt anger rising but kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to tell Julian about needing money for the competition. He didn’t want his pity either.82f72686a3598236

Actually, there was a time when Sasya had been attracted to Julian’s tall stature and his platinum hair that shone like honey.65cc4fef977c4efc

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But not anymore. Julian didn’t understand anything. Sasya had never received an allowance from his parents even once. Of the $400 given monthly to scholarship students for shoes and supplies, he split it in half, sending half to his mother and using the rest for groceries.41964d73190d01cf

‘He doesn’t know anything and yet…’7fe5690925db463c

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As Julian continued to 5076319974 reproach Sasya who kept ecb00c722a closing his mouth, Levin ef5b86416d stepped in, unable to c526c6733f watch anymore.9bce448972d2f61f

“Julian. I told you not to talk to him like that.”da80b694febd56fd

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“Anyway, come here, Sasya. I need to hear why you need the money.”554b8d287c9e154a

Julian firmly grabbed 68ee5d2526 Sasya by putting 190dc40d97 his arms under fc1528e686 his armpits and 7bf4de5927 pushed him toward 6f28e705bf the café. Sasya planted 540f3d58e0 his feet c58a685a57 firmly and ef759cd75c resisted.6bb840ecd01f3eef

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“Good grief, this brat. Why are you so strong despite being so skinny?”6bd50928cb6a48fa

“Julian! Don’t be so rough. If you treat kids harshly, they’ll just shut down.”19fa6d6329cb1d68

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“Ugh…”aa218139000e9e6e

It was just 6dcb156c66 for a moment c0813a5766 when Sasya, who 67c9fe78f9 had been resisting 56af3a948d with all his 2cbf7345ed might, lost his 7c3e739e6a balance and stumbled. In that f3450a00b2 instant, Julian e8940be9c5 easily lifted d8ddd2102c him up.7200e757df2968aa

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“Let go!”6b68343efa7ef4ab

Sasya, who had been kicking his legs in the air, felt his heel touch Julian’s hard shin and quickly drew his legs back in surprise. Having been hit in the shin dozens of times by his partner’s toe shoes while doing pas de deux, he knew well how much it hurt there. When he turned his head to check, sure enough, Julian had his brows furrowed, presumably from the pain. Just as Sasya was starting to feel a bit sorry, Julian whispered just loud enough for only Sasya to hear.cd3fadffc0afed20

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“Just you wait, Sasya. If Levin weren’t here, I’d flip you over and spank you.”93cc9d5695f16315

Sasya trembled at the bc27cea742 two-faced Julian, who acted 780f10b450 differently on the inside 8f7d83fcc7 and outside. He exploded again, shouting be32069e02 in Russian.3a8c77475d2ccab8

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“Let go! I said let go! You thug! You deceitful liar!”037caa284750e05c

“That’s why I told you not to be harsh. I said Sasya must have his reasons.”b3fbd6841111e98e

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In front d234b2c320 of Levin, 8e92f09383 who looked 62f856c0a7 down at f91b1b62cd him like c4b80800b0 a kind eaa07740c7 older sister, 96295d59f4 and Julian, 5d3d0f926a who coldly 6266f06134 interrogated him 02fca4a27c with his 680d0c56d0 arms crossed, b6e641a49f Sasya had 16bbec7ce4 to confess f873797351 why he 2745de3bc9 needed money. While talking about 3c763da5f2 wanting to enter 227bcc88cf the competition, he 6520ee60a0 ended up dropping 104e684da9 tears that had 8489f2002d welled up in 7f288c0092 his eyes. As tears ran c6d9d28baf down his chin, 60e00b7765 Sasya bit the cdc69703cd inside of his d13acd5054 mouth until his 53340dce03 jaw hurt.9ae1cb74284e7179

It was 3b254156b8 absolutely not ba8f6140c9 because he b76ac4507e wanted to 2284e91897 gain sympathy. He felt ashamed, feeling dd331b3dab too young and useless c3b5a3e8dd as he spoke such e67c06611b pathetic words in front 78dc972ce8 of Julian.b867c641b2414ed0

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After hearing Sasya’s story, Julian, who was now embarrassed, stroked his chin and muttered.86461919ebc670e4

“About the competition… Are your parents against it?”e2cb1fd5c8e4a2fa

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Sasya glared a5b17b457a at Julian 80893d9ac6 with tears 17dc80396a still pooled c6977a942b in his 5d203ac959 eyes. His resentful gaze was 9c5f899f36 ice-blue.26aa96f493ae9a25

Julian still didn’t understand anything. Julian, who majored in violin, struts around with a violin worth hundreds of millions on his back, and whenever he feels his lessons are insufficient, he flies abroad for private tutoring that costs thousands of dollars per hour. Although Sasya didn’t know much about music, through Julian he learned that whether in ballet or music, wealthy people had the advantage.3c53634ba07ef914

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“That’s not it, Sasya wants to solve it on his own. He doesn’t want to burden his parents. Right?”a53409bd530c0700

At Levin’s words, Sasya quickly nodded while sniffling.439f1f94e03070b6

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But Levin was different from Julian. She was someone who could understand his situation. Levin also came to university on a scholarship, and because she wasn’t in a position to receive support for rent and living expenses, she was making ends meet by taking whatever part-time jobs she could find.453d43841b753c37

“That’s why I only wanted to tell Levin about it.”fe177cd29d764ee1

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Julian sighed in front b4f38c2246 of Sasya, who was 4c3400b02a wiping his still-wet eyes f500d49ffa with the back of 26bf0910f8 his hand.b9cfc68daf80cba5

“Well, Sasya. I understand what you’re thinking, and I get why you need money. But I don’t recommend working. Didn’t you come here on a student visa? If you get caught working, you’ll be deported. You’re in a position where you can’t be legally protected, so it’s easy to be exploited.”c8ee6974a1877c32

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“…”ca3fc64be6d29ba2

“And that job you looked into… This… Hah, I’m embarrassed to even say it. This is something you should never do, even if you hit rock bottom. Got it?”0196825173d07ea6

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“…What kind of job is it?”109851d84e2f037c

“You wanna sell your body?”67a5b7541aa123e5

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Sasya stiffened at Julian’s words, which he spat out threateningly while leaning forward. Beside them, Levin was sighing with her hand covering her eyes.17a476bec7b829c4

“Huh? Are you saying you want to make porn videos?”8f09f10a0f93c4b0

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Shocked and at a 436615b788 loss for words, Sasya 23af8f85dd quickly shook his head. The explicit 937b6b23a0 language made 86d1f13beb his tears 2613def99c dry up 82681f5355 instantly, and f6ff535ca5 cold sweat 78300a7f8a ran down 14ffa19f11 his spine.346988bd936a7f67

Just then, Levin suddenly ff2383ec1e cut in, as if e15931adf2 something had occurred to f0cf6b23cc her, changing the subject.efa828efbd903229

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“Ah, speaking of videos, I just thought of something. Sasya, would you like to try YouTube?”ade3f07d29aa2dd6

“YouTube?”e87024c00d32b07d

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“I watched some videos before, and a lot of ballet school students do that kind of thing. There are videos teaching ballet moves, school life vlogs…”e17b894da64b16af

“Hmm…”f5e930bec7b156c0

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At Levin’s words, Julian quickly moved his phone to search for some videos.9be4f6ec08b53751

“This looks good. Seems easy.”4ba46934e5d52bbc

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Sasya tilted his head toward the video Julian showed him. On the screen, a girl who appeared to be around Sasya’s age was displaying her various colored leotards and explaining how each one fit.6191058041977ecc

After watching 8769f0d127 intently, Sasya ce0dad74a6 spoke in 74a6871954 an uncertain 4cca6d7104 voice.5502cdaf8a9148be

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“I don’t think I can do it. I don’t have many leotards.”8da3b7f51671d662

It was impossible for him to show off leotards when he couldn’t even properly maintain his ballet shoes, which were essential, because he was using the money to replace his shoes for food expenses. The shoes he had were all worn out with holes due to excessive practice. Recently, José had thrown him a new pair of shoes saying he didn’t wear them anymore, but they were too big for Sasya, requiring him to wear two pairs of socks inside his tights.e2b7da55430828c1

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Seeing Sasya’s dejected expression, Julian spoke in an exasperated tone.c606bc30d1ebba2e

“The leotards aren’t important… You just need to talk about anything. Since ballet is your major, we’re just saying to make content about ballet.”f72d3555e5bf487e

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“Will people give me money for doing that?”1a752d06b108d1d2

“Yes. This definitely makes money. You’re pretty cute too, so you’ll gain subscribers quickly.”eebbe8e3a68fa0f1

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“…How? If I write down my account number, will they deposit money to me?”d6f9be735f9e4189

Julian patiently explained the mechanics of it, but Sasya still couldn’t understand how to make money from YouTube. Julian sighed. There was no way Sasya, who couldn’t even understand the concept of advertising revenue, could create and upload videos by himself.5d46303665f964ad

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“I expected too much from you.”693bcde4d190f7dd

“…Sasya. Still, think about it slowly. Your friends might be able to help.”abfe9ba9a5c8d446

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“Okay…”70f95fa7681f1d20

Sasya became 8c95f80db7 depressed after 8325dde9fe an unproductive 88a2e18914 day.4e85576a49e04eb0

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Before Sasya returned to the dormitory, Levin and Julian wanted to buy dinner for the dejected boy. When asked what he wanted to eat, Sasya thought for a while and answered ‘marshmallows.’33320e45b10d659f

Sasya was 9c4c703091 returning to 9d0185e4a7 the dormitory, d25b918e44 gently rubbing 498fcdb863 his full 1eba0b23a3 upper stomach. In one 3e6846fc10 hand, he 45e42a64c1 held an 20fd7f38ec elegant department 8bd5cef645 store paper b207d33f8d bag filled 5439070a66 with marshmallows.2eebbd43f8bd3c2f

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After eating an enormous steak that was too big to fit in his stomach in one meal, Julian bought him more cookies for dessert. While eating as a dessert marshmallows and chocolate sandwiched between cookies, all the trivial worries that had been filling Sasya’s head disappeared. Maybe it was because Levin had been continuously encouraging him.31d46e8370af174b

‘Doing competitions isn’t mandatory, you know. What if working to earn money ends up losing your skills? Don’t worry too much about it. If you just keep working hard at school like you are now, you’ll be able to join a ballet company right after. I don’t know much about ballet, but Sasya, you definitely have potential.’ad9b60626ac3c69c

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It was true. In fact, until recently, Sasya himself had thought the same way. He believed that if he just maintained his excellent test scores every semester like now and didn’t cause any major problems, he would easily pass a ballet company’s audition.bed61b52633196e4

Sasya let out a silent sigh. It gave him chills thinking about what he almost did for $500. If his face became known through something like porn, it was clear he wouldn’t be able to get a proper job even as an adult, let alone join a ballet company.b1bd681d9b781dac

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As Levin said, the competition wasn’t everything, yet he almost made a mistake because of his dark thoughts.7d32eb6c1deaf7e1

‘Why am I like this?’c51e07e7034e886f

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Once caught in 0f2ba3f851 worry and starting 8c84fdcf44 to have ominous a2fb93bff6 thoughts, it was 7b28d92bd0 hard to escape d52a59b6a9 from them. He would only imagine f69f84eb2b the worst scenarios. Sasya himself was be05589443 aware of his 507c1de8f2 excessive anxiety, as fd045fecf4 it had been 7f8717975d pointed out to e9acdf7cbc him before.26a3827aeb9cfd81

His father’s voice thundered in Sasya’s head. The voice that used to shout that the kid had mold growing in his brain was still vivid. His alcoholic father divorced his mother when Sasya was ten, and now they no longer lived together or had any reason to meet, but he was still Sasya’s source of anxiety.d73fb06b7cb68317

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His steps toward 5a1d25979b Lincoln Center gradually 9b8969dc27 slowed.fbd4130b47f9d40c

“You’re back earlier than expected?”52dc28a6d601c611

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As soon as 870ffea168 he turned the 8a3cf9e870 doorknob and opened c817af5bd2 the door, noisy 6e7ce044b8 sounds poured out f478e41bf7 from inside. It was Manuel who 14f473da95 spoke.699ad799d45a5657

“José was saying you went drinking with some girls.”5209bba8696f274a

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“…”63c02c0a0f09d3e8

“Said you might not come back all night.”f09d03316a8e3dc9

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Sasya headed to his bed and opened his single-unit closet to carefully put away the marshmallows. Manuel’s voice, following behind him, somehow sounded gruff. After hanging his coat on the hanger, Sasya turned around while unzipping the track top he was wearing underneath.a5b4c7319f45a0c4

“No, I didn’t.”539301cffc04f358

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“…Really?”724b30a802fd5bbe

Manuel’s gaze fell on the bare chest revealed as the zipper came down. Sasya looked back at Manuel, who was staring intently at him, while continuing to remove his clothes. Unable to understand why he was staring like that, Sasya looked down to check if something was on him, but there was nothing noticeable.0e3da272d68b278d

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Hoping that perhaps he had grown some hair, Sasya was disappointed. The kids who hit puberty early often went to waxing salons regularly to remove hair from their chests, thighs, and all over their bodies. However, Sasya’s skin was still as smooth as girls’, with no difference.04db44e7874abb9f

“I had dinner with Levin and Julian.”1dc95e0d394c96ba

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Only after saying it did Sasya remember that Manuel didn’t know those two people. But soon he thought, ‘Does it matter?’d69ffd775663a9ce

And when Manuel realized that the names that came from Sasya’s mouth were names typically given to men, he asked again in a softer voice.0ced9aaaf478e48c

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“Are you going to shower right now?”510ae4f65f645fcd

“Why? Do you need to use the bathroom?”f89d8c4a0a664820

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Still half-naked 1fb253b425 and about 25cde19760 to take c6a7e8c4d9 off his 9e120e7d6e pants, Sasya 94f15f146f momentarily stopped 86d55601a2 with his 71511a9fbf hand on 832d742804 his stomach. Unlike earlier in d925e4e4f6 the day when 75acca77ce it was flat, c80658c312 his upper stomach 7d8bcf3e8d was slightly protruding. Ballet teachers 17d454ce6c always emphasized 93887c756a that everything a81fce24f7 eaten that 53595a6534 day should e72866859e be fully 849b2bd23c digested before 75910b3645 going to 5ad9bd684a bed. If not, fat 0869022452 would tend to 062f196823 accumulate in unwanted 88a890c8c6 places.a7ff2f12ba93a04f

“I think I should do some stretching before bed because I ate too much. Can you help me?”171b8de36640d35e

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“Of course.”b7cf5f36e452a49d

If he 6cad96a5d9 was going 6474322356 to shower 7408d74429 anyway, it 753f941d4a seemed better 3f16bf38a6 to do 477e234936 so after de34e27274 sweating. Sasya went out to c5348eeaa0 the hallway and did 90a3bb377b jumping jacks while facing 79bef8a2e8 the corridor wall. When he thought 6e69dbf045 his body had 593a6e04d0 warmed up enough, e59c976313 he sat with 44158f589a his back pressed 7819d22680 tightly against the a6ae1e4af0 wall, and Manuel, 8b1da0345f who had been bde63f0d0e waiting, approached.a04c8d2b83ac415c

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Sasya tried to spread his legs horizontally as wide as possible, close to 180 degrees against the wall. Manuel sat down in front and placed both feet on Sasya’s thighs.e13239efc0768d1f

“Should I push?”405047ffa03242d6

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“Yeah.”154f03efacd9c601

“Tell me if you feel like throwing up.”8770160e08961264

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But when 37a8f936fe Manuel started ee16773987 pushing down 4ca5f8c2b1 on his 3eae183ffe thighs with 3a35b66909 his weight, be334cded9 Sasya was 7e3b2047cd already too da2a2a6d5a pale to b1f84f7e19 say anything. As he felt 9e517609cd his muscles stretching fb1724816e achingly, Sasya tried cc90757f36 to relax the 9dac042b9b strength in his 8a04b45381 hip joints and 67330f7adb legs. When his upper bafb4a7ccc body threatened to 9bfc9368e5 fall forward from da2cddf5b3 the strain, Manuel 7c8a010fcd would push his bdd95f323e shoulder with his a883e16b5e fingers to keep d2f2ca7609 him against the 1094490bd0 wall.ef365a6a8bfe85b7

“Haa, haa…”d575993d0e915238

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“Does it hurt?”ecf88969e59adab3

“…”0e6d10aae0b4abd0

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“You’re really strong, you know.”e0f7a5cbf8a16edf

Manuel gently stroked Sasya’s cheek. Although the caressing touch was annoying, Sasya was too exhausted to brush it off. He just slightly turned his head to the opposite side.edaba034c6207ccd

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When he was younger, he could stretch his legs as he wished, but as he aged a year or two, his muscle mass increased, and sometimes his flexibility couldn’t keep up with his strength. This stretching method that Vadim had taught him was like torture while doing it, but once stretched, the quality of movement would be noticeably different the very next day.dbdbb3ede7e05c96

Manuel clicked his tongue watching Sasya, who didn’t ask to stop even while breaking into a cold sweat. Guys who were forced to do this stretching when caught by Vadim would leave the practice room limping and crying. Sasya was the only one who voluntarily did this.80856a60f930c9f2

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“That’s enough, now…”004e8451623d997f

Even after Manuel stopped pushing, Sasya couldn’t bring his legs together for a while and just lay collapsed forward, breathing heavily. When he stood up while rubbing his tingling thighs, his entire body was wet with sweat to the point where it was dripping down his spine. Manuel’s gaze was peculiar as he watched Sasya getting up with groans.6077a3a312124ff9

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“Can I shower first?”105afbe16a6b29e4

Sasya asked, thinking Manuel 881bdd8c2d was watching him without 5a40287a14 going into the room ecea108136 because he wanted to e65dc28164 use the bathroom. Manuel nodded and went 9f81bbc570 into the room.3b93c1965ff0f316

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That night, someone crawled into Sasya’s bed.1ff1a4f299adac17

“Who… It’s cramped.”9d6ecf15e8e3bf03

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Sasya mumbled and turned over under the blanket. The intruder seemed to have snuck in from the feet. Someone’s hot breath scattered around his pelvis as they crawled up, rustling under the blanket. Sasya turned over on his stomach, passively avoiding the hot breath he felt on his bare skin.6c528bc7d0ac6a40

“Don’t…”3a86255f1675798b

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“…”44f5d3360af045f2

“Mmm…”4b40a9acd55654dd

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Half-asleep, Sasya 39eb44e78a felt a f9038745a2 hand groping 1d10c035e1 the sensitive ad457ad0f4 inside of 7906b223fa his thigh. The person’s palm db41ab2c1e was slightly damp, c97025bdd2 as if they 6fe6ffd9de sweated a lot. Still buried 3a76e92e99 under the 135a4ec334 blanket, Sasya ab943aca0c blinked dazedly 3d7053371a as the 6d4fc433f3 hand slipped 51351ceefb into his 80a29dad8b underwear. His vision was dark, 60f4129fe3 and he wasn’t fully a8816f82fe awake, so he couldn’t 92f39114fb tell if this was 024392101c a dream or not.ef6f601488019979

This might be bb2848b2a4 just another wet 1ab12a4154 dream.d91f0dbf4842423b

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A very pleasant dream.4e4b42c76e5a662b

Sasya waited fa4416152a nervously for fc546d56ed what would 7b3f7cd3ab come next. In the past, he 051e0fb6a7 had been excited just 1c0b1df932 by the feeling of bd376d9a59 a large hand cupping b294c99d7b his cheek and a ec43e843e4 kiss on his forehead. Could there be something 0ab792a07f even more stimulating than b700e81bd2 that? It was 32ba63c4b1 both exciting 3fda24104f and frightening.7b1511baaba0a042

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At that moment, a moist palm boldly slipped into his underwear. Then without hesitation, it grabbed the head. Caught off guard, a moan escaped from Sasya’s lips along with his breath. Startled by the sound from his own mouth, Sasya covered his mouth.7d43bfff6c03f66e

That’s when it happened.5621603778eb46ee

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“Who’s talking in their sleep? Just sleep!”06817aa01e9409a2

José’s irritated voice, heavy with sleep, was heard.ea04e298984473ba

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In an instant, all 6f28617d81 the sensations in his 38b82ee6a3 body became vivid. His own hand 49a3c08534 covering his mouth, af62b3dc12 his rapid breathing, 6453f5544f the slightly dry 3fba8c99cd edge of the 05999a5708 blanket… and the fcae4feca3 stranger squirming beneath 812296f985 him.1ed7a63bb0215557

This wasn’t a 580c94cdae dream. It wasreal.f61882d492be0788

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Sasya tried to b29ce08860 sit up in 99119e8ba4 shock, but someone f0f314a79a was faster, covering aaed019bca his mouth with 07c7107f05 both hands. Pressed down by the de354017ef strong grip, Sasya looked 37bd7fa94f up at the man 29b8afd480 who had pinned him.c377dd61f454b98e

Manuel.9c5ce7d6688b7f2f

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Their eyes 62ab0a8a27 met under a329a1293d the blanket. Sasya, overwhelmed by 71f4c732e7 fear and confusion, 963fc7ea25 silently stared up 9cf3534ca4 at his friend. They stayed like a89a084f43 that until José’s eaba7d7534 restless movements subsided.cb5e05d4ee008f46

Shortly after, when the room fell into silence, Manuel quietly slipped out of Sasya’s bed on his own.db6ad0ad192aa28b

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Even after 0d96a6edb2 Manuel had a50dd0e0af left, Sasya’s 096247f00b mind was 03459012d4 too chaotic e051d6fafe to sleep.ff74399cba5984fc

Unlike the f66ae5cbdd dreams he 507dad0371 had about 6373ecb95c a man 3eb6d1925c with large 799b439674 hands, Manuel’s baed06e2c9 damp palm 2c610142f2 felt disgusting ba49ada116 and sent 9e162c71a6 shivers down f1a6b00542 his spine. He also wondered why 38365fdf2b Manuel had tried to 03e0ae50a0 touch his private parts.e8ebe62750da3913

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He wanted to ask 903bff18d4 when he got the bc43b40787 chance, but starting the 0137a7759b very next morning, Manuel 0aae5cfac5 acted as if nothing 805fbb6942 had happened. All weekend, he c25f01fd13 laughed and chatted 7e339272bf with the others ea5f8933a0 as usual, behaving 7a1c340f83 no differently than 4e7f5dfb25 before.93d938e776e18447

Sasya’s mood, which had improved considerably after meeting Julian and Levin, plummeted again over the weekend. It wasn’t just because Manuel was avoiding him, but because he discovered a bruise on his thigh before going to bed on Sunday evening.19301be4b375e66b

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Sasya sighed as he 230bb289da looked at the large e9a7137c90 bruise on his inner ec2bfeddc1 thigh. The lingering ache had 5e1d9c7334 ultimately resulted in a d5efdc4fad muscle tear. If it 1d62679b3d got inflamed, 6b9440cd79 it would 413e2645cb be a f0d889674a nuisance for 08eefd4891 months. Leaning one hand on fe397decbf the closet door, Sasya 4fb842bb5f tried a high sidedéveloppé², then forcefully f8cc3b8a7f swung his leg 251f94014f intoderrière³. As soon 6532173196 as he 3f2d614024 bent his 6e52400b6e waist slightly, 5bd0c72977 a sharp f0bc0b3226 pain shot 2602276236 through him.9ed43f7d27158cfb

It’s torn.b54b218afc312dad

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With a 722516cca1 gloomy expression, 46056ee787 Sasya berated 00741f033d himself and ba461872c6 piled hot 1a078f87b7 packs on 052b067a2a the bruised e7d75f7183 area.1fd3e6ed06185ac1

“Who took d75528c8ef all the 29e9dbf4ab hot packs a8ecb3f0e2 that were 30339f21fc here?”fa3efa74128f16ec

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Someone shouted in disbelief, 25ccf77340 but Sasya pretended not 9c1e0bb53e to hear and covered 0c7517c19c his legs with the 60c161a521 blanket. He fell b244c70eaa asleep, praying 15e32f174b that the 9fdde1f7d4 inflammation wouldn’t 59b9cb4790 get worse.324121be324231a1

But the pain was f468e9c332 even worse the next 0147a0e154 morning.f0c1934a088c383b

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I’m such c76a649336 an idiot.7e04845d1d363770

Sasya gloomily rubbed his 3620397715 thigh. The heat packs 9440f45496 he had greedily 61f33d7289 taken and placed 573e891d35 on his legs a1285efd86 the night before fe77bac1db were now scattered ac835c0285 everywhere after tossing 6b39e18eaf and turning in 3e87bad222 his sleep.ce4089e8fb994acd

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If Vadim c9bbb570a0 found out 4ec2e08df0 about the 34644e7dbc muscle tear, ca3fc55d22 it wouldn’t 2723ad318c end with fec7cf5303 just a 4d5e546256 scolding. He might even 89d6e85310 get slapped in 4dcade12c3 front of everyone.3eb6aa8d33553c83

Sullen, Sasya arrived at 34d5b7d6cc the locker room later 1a73da7b57 than the others and a46a2b3313 secretly undressed in the f4542f31f3 corner. To hide 1525955f47 the bruise, 5bffbc6ffc he opted 982c2840ec for dark e199d15fc6 tights that b41d97079f reached his 14dde6bf7e ankles instead ef16b52952 of his 3178dcc23d usual shorts. He also cdd8700328 didn’t forget 08d38d430d to wear 43a78f802c two pairs 28a6740818 of socks 2864e2daf3 inside the 9ecbe0870a oversized shoes 6fe43085f1 Josée had ab68d01a26 given him.78e2c87b1c41c520

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Just as a516fefedf he was 53f09b5b5c about to ab5c85253c roll up 056eff8c95 his clothes f989b56a10 and lock 5b97157711 the locker, 88d1b771dc his gaze a903b5b648 landed on 53f6320871 a small e4ab6ea0d5 note stuck 18389bc8bf inside.bfb6fd7d898b9be9

[Don’t skip breakfast!]

Sasya’s gaze lingered on the small note stuck inside the locker. Inside was something he had no memory of storing.96007aaab16f01c8

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Sasya took 873d9d34ce out the ea72fec4bf small package 6aa5171319 with the cdf08116bb note attached. Turning the transparent package 3adeb56b9e around, he saw a f4c41f583b chocolate bar, a carton 86630aec14 of milk, and a 63cc7d051e bagel sandwich wrapped in d5de091c89 plastic. The bagel, cut in c826e5b08a half, revealed creamy cheese 8ecf0b4c07 and bright red salmon 5ca3a5f459 spilling out.9dfccd020e314cea

Did Manuel 2188428eaa leave this?9329fff755c27739

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Maybe he did 729ffb29be this as an 9b34dcc899 apology.df4edc336b04bb53

Come to think of c53bd7b18b it, Julia had told 54f9ce9b76 him to gain weight 6b466267ed just last week. He felt embarrassed 40df899361 realizing he had de673d495c almost skipped breakfast fbc6e108fc out of habit ae3a88d42a again. And salmon? Salmon was one of 580036801a Sasya’s favorites, but it f8ad031803 was hard to store, 2484145520 so he rarely got 067524d902 to eat it. Feeling a b968bed39e sudden hunger, a0b8e017a4 Sasya took 91ae9e5765 the food 6d2648fe9f package and b9a28eee55 stood by a3d30e228d the window.0f231faeb4405391

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As soon as he b7d07afc35 opened the plastic, he 09d6994889 stuffed the bagel into 8866cf02b7 his mouth, swallowing it 5dde2056a8 almost whole before washing e1b4dd4947 it down with milk. The bagel was 12f4c5da92 delicious. The salmon b2833dfa5c was fresh, d906b36d7f and the 0737a8db07 cream cheese 474652c45b had a f3d4b9bedf rich, milky 54607f726f flavor.eb350e7d2813d953

Just then, some girls dffa9c6286 passing by for their 6a2e588807 morning class glanced at 6e7e898cce Sasya, who was quickly 910fed6850 eating his breakfast, and fbbac22905 whispered. “He eats so 3e3802f77d fast.” Light laughter a7cd6e88ff filled the air 0060a9c94f as Sasya’s ears e0335b9e82 turned red, his ecf2add8c8 gaze fixed outside a07e26b8cc the window.681f89f52cbc21a2

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In less 33404b8443 than five d9be5286ba minutes, Sasya 912370e32e had finished e59dad7b80 all the 33e27ca628 food. He stuffed the c55ff71669 trash into his 1ee20037f4 gym bag and 54d83afe73 headed to the 1bc6ca7c89 studio. He felt 5f107afd5e a bit 5fd4b5901e queasy from c58f14ac9b eating too f37abada9f quickly.525c2fdaa7852414

Inside, students 24c7d41664 who had c12e8704e3 arrived earlier a462429a30 were scattered 2553554e18 around, stretching.7ec3823da5d16909

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Sasya cautiously moved to fc6fd3a4b3 an empty spot and a31baa6d2f tried stretching his left 8cc51a35aa leg, which had the 2583cc8ce1 torn muscle, by pulling 6727b22ef8 it back. But in bd8504c320 his haste, 1587d78bd3 he overdid 82d6274070 it without c85045fce8 properly warming e230d75a47 up. As soon as 2b3c234ed1 he lifted his 8b1afad388 leg to the 8e7c087104 usual angle, a 41a0e7b299 sharp pain brought 6213bd2a64 tears to his 6a7003e493 eyes.0dd88d75f0678b59

The inflammation 54f84570e8 wasn’t getting cc2d161106 better; in b1bf443dbc fact, it 1a5cfcf7a4 was getting fa87d7147b worse. He would 95c0204c52 probably have dccaa1f8a8 to visit 95b4445614 the physical 35011977de center in c4b1191ee1 the afternoon.e9d870187c7be9f8

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“Good morning, everyone.”7ab48ca4cc4ade9a

Julia lightly knocked 94f5ff35c2 on the studio acc1304e3c door. Sasya and the 0b08df7237 other students turned 56bdee6e29 their attention to 469c899617 her.cf1f9213171ab353

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With a bright ba01bd017d smile, Julia announced, ae583311e7 “There will be a1d2174c24 guests observing today’s 0270becd77 class. As you 5b62e86169 all know, 244a68e2c3 our school 2f0d4f846b operates with f6e466fa5a the support c1fcfd9ad4 of many 0b3b642285 sponsors. Some of those who cbe8f3bd57 enjoy watching your growth a836b0eecc will be visiting today.”1b469c810f72b8b6

The students murmured 1ef2cd6c3b excitedly. Even though e9574edec4 it was a4bad120e9 the same a0a8aa29ae routine practice, 0088146f44 having guests 5c79d70749 made it e4ef2329fa different. A lively effcad07d3 atmosphere quickly e36d47f8d7 filled the f0588b88d6 studio.8b17860761dd2377

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“They won’t 33f9c7d836 disrupt your 241fe258dc practice. They’ll watch 28469703b4 through the b09a312d90 windows outside f799c5df23 or check 931ca96f29 the school 8cb41ee13a facilities. Just be the df03b7c965 good, hardworking students fd8796a379 you always are.”19e57e6fbf3b0450

Sasya stared 8ae9a29ce0 at Julia e1c93d3476 with a 5d5c770f67 stiff expression.282e8c2bb4089d16

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It was today?He finally remembered 81fbf3bbd6 Vadim’s stern warning 3447e5f476 from last weekend.3b66754761a86138

Vadim then entered the 4bf5034e7c room, not giving Sasya b1a355a7a4 time to recover from cbbc8914b5 his shock. The music df24236007 for the badcbbec24 first exercise,plié⁴, began to play.7bd0e1f3f1f742b6

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“First position! Start with pliés.”ce5d24b6d104e953

Sasya shook his e3d7fbc112 aching thigh and 38492537a6 assumed first position.fc5939e04f11f33f

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‘He’s not the type 047c229f90 to be interested in 126274dd25 things like this. Not like the 60371d2638 general public who f40081c2d3 are desperate to 0bffa8fb2b see ballet stars.’04b3d823c8e73d8d

‘Mr. Clements? Who’s that now?’a8a8efe36dd19da1

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Sasya took a 7b646a38ff deep breath and c3694f5395 gradually calmed down.a4819ef4b10b3e45

No matter c855041446 how he 66b1b54805 thought about 1903f7f0eb it, the 7949c48666 chances of 4aa1e25e5f Mr. Clements coming to bf06f79790 see him were 2cdc74d84b slim. Besides, there 8fc1fe736e were 60 a6c0268c6a students in 18f622f688 the morning 1e727fe933 class, and 6df71c2e60 it wouldn’t 811421ce68 be easy 17c33b3b82 to spot 8699b42ab7 him among 88f2ea4d17 the similarly 16b523cff5 dressed students.3a89aa5840ad33ed

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Sasya shook ca591807b1 off his 86c9a369f8 distracting thoughts 8f36c13d47 and quickly 0f81b1350f focused on b19ebc781e the movements. Soon, he forgot d021437d40 about the presence 2cc202d0be of the guests.aaf97e68317b7f5c

However, the pain f5f066d39d he had forgotten 326dd3ea2a returned during agrand battement⁵. As he lightly kicked 952092ed4d his leg, a sharp, b06c669e57 unbearable pain shot through b9dc135146 him. Biting his 59aec0111a lip, Sasya 2bf40c37da continued the 47b45470d7 movements, hoping dc0e55223f Vadim’s gaze 532d8ed467 would pass d40132db80 over him.360c6b2e8cb8f276

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“Now, the af8667bf44 other side. Let me explain again. From fifth position, 014af371e5 three times forward, 18a692fb6c once to the 25267e2b18 side. On the third 18567b5c8d kick to the d4df749690 side, sweep your 33c79576ee leg and derrière…”c7dd19961f059e22

As Vadim explained, some 81b7c4796d students glanced out the aa721d3d73 window. Sasya, wiping the f3779b06c6 sweat from his 754e332b6d chin, followed their 05dc2b12d6 gaze. Outside the long rectangular 555703d5b3 window, a group of 8cfa881a1d men in navy, gray, d6b225910e and black suits could 61fbf5c6fe be seen. They were likely the 0b9c2da6e5 sponsors Julia had mentioned.d1caf1c960da3c3d

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“Préparation!”d4c51e39d46d48b3

At Vadim’s shout, Sasya e03d120fef prepared inen bas⁶. As he lowered his e136079393 gaze slightly with his 9a826ca666 hands, a golden blur f9dbb6ec6b passed through the corner 1816c0da9e of his vision.67abed6371f44932

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Blond hair?0dcfe376b282459e

“Forward, with power! Higher!”67283ef4192c0d9a

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Sasya looked edae40bca6 back out 1e572c0c95 the window. The blond 5db23f1852 hair, faintly b2db169f32 glowing in 288e321111 the dark 69dd3698b8 hallway, immediately 4a4e38e179 caught his 788f608ed8 eye.7019b512ff3a96c6

A tall man, f8f7d83ffc towering over the 1dfed59a89 others, with broad e660e34891 shoulders wrapped in ae02b1f768 a dark suit.9f17afce33a0228e

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Karel Clements.dcbb1100ac3c8eab

He was standing with 9f5c3723c8 his back to the 5b729b8eaf studio, turned away.2fd29974e3ddba75

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Sasya stared c7cc8725bb blankly at bb65a624b4 the man’s 0fd18e2625 back. Unlike the other c0df90f45e middle-aged men in 7f2013dc92 suits who looked 7aa6c6682c somewhat shabby, his ae1b1ec7d2 sponsor stood straight, 8c25b9dc57 his posture impeccable. The back 2643198663 of his 4b3bcc2499 neck, clean 63dfd28fb8 and austere, 145b48e3ff showed he ba47f13af6 was listening c2d92edd23 intently to 177cedc58f Julia.b82aad849993f1a2

It had been 613e518e8e a year since 4d7939d4f4 he last saw 386a2328b8 his sponsor.85054137117ec8ae

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When the 67e7e3a70b man turned 4c46b43c15 and looked 94ef7a2ef7 through the b7ec8ba199 window, Sasya’s 5f0bc5216a heart raced d2022c6442 wildly. It might 0623aa0f34 have been 9911f2413d his imagination, 19f682438d but their 4ccac9f804 eyes seemed f86d467015 to meet.fa9ed7a4cf9a4efc

The sponsor’s gaze ade0f7d9aa swept across the 021be89616 studio in an c6c6d248ee instant. The illusion a32d0706ee of eye b418df8467 contact was 6b243cb598 likely because 41e250c99d Sasya had 30f2f9d1eb been staring ac0deb4d3c at him f972a54691 intently. After slowly 64b11edb21 scanning the e6e95ee08c room, the 5ab3c4aede man turned 267ca6c6bf his back 11dd91a934 again. Leaning slightly to d0b66b27b4 listen to Julia, a624f37472 who was much 8744c8920c shorter, his sponsor 2e537b32af looked as kind 677835c5e3 as he had 9488b9ae5e during their first 94d82abcec meeting.9010b6953f86a1a8

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“Sasya! Where’s your point?”53c0f876855c05f1

Startled by Vadim’s voice 87d2e20d89 close by, Sasya quickly db9d5dd648 extended his arm higher 9632e49732 inen haut⁷.3aae20c2d5164317

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“Strengthen your back, lift your lower abdomen!”c6561df620f8c641

Vadim slapped Sasya’s back 077ed2cc8b and stomach as he 154e851db6 spoke, his strikes as f4445c5d0c sharp as ever, bringing a92f83f79f tears to Sasya’s eyes. His momentary lapse fb5c4724ca in concentration had a797ea58d0 been exposed by b0983776ac his sloppy posture. Sasya tightened his chest, 9f57959a94 took a deep breath, f9edbaeddd and tensed his body 43610dae35 again.f4dbd2c8ca92e506

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Fixing his gaze forward, afcf1f15be he saw his own 8b09ed486d red ears in the caa0cd2dd0 mirror. He felt 2f77d2840c deeply disappointed aaf09cac05 in himself, a1a286d164 thinking his 947114b000 sponsor might 55b8fb2298 have seen bb7a36b3ab his weak, 19ab459ba9 sloppy pose 6787c23a39 with a d226e5d986 loose body 2f1a5f7b84 and sagging c965e362c5 hips.60d45af6d1e64f86

With that, the barre d999237454 work ended with a bcb5c08741 battement, and a short 90fa1d35e2 break was given. The students leaned against ba0b269407 the barre to stretch c561a547c7 or drank from their 9a17145ad1 water bottles. Sasya also a286b182a9 staggered to b48499aaec his bag 41bf2a6337 by the 2897fdadfc wall to 8b40aa7860 find his 9b3c8934b2 bottle of a56d109634 water. But all he felt 02923b550f at his fingertips were 88c358d258 the remnants of the 75e92e28fd bagel sandwich he had f3b3fa054c devoured earlier.dd06918ad8e9a8f0

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While Sasya 9a1d4ec89d was looking 201b51982f around wondering d650516b98 if he 2f7a836da2 could get bb4bab3621 a drink 34b0925545 from someone, 727554ca59 Vadim clapped d147f353c7 his hands c8f2574b2f twice in 0d47b0e942 the air. At that signal, c470ba1ebf the students paired 6ada783084 up and swiftly 330cc44f34 lifted the barre, 524af0a520 moving it to d64bbd5ae0 a corner of 126ab2b730 the practice room.368258bc6223f564

“Starting with adagio. Fifth position.”24e1f530371044ce

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And so, cb0b29aa2e without even 376c9f24e8 a moment fe0558ca0e to take 7772a3cb6f a sip 777f659b68 of water, 040a0f5271 thecenter work⁸began.8985a3f620114445

Sasya sighed as he stepped into the center. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that all barre work was merely a warm-up for center work. As the real practice began, Sasya stood behind Vadim, who was demonstrating the adagio sequence, and memorized the movements with his eyes, while trying to ignore the feeling of his hastily eaten breakfast sitting heavily in his stomach.3463ab1b6e9fe11f

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Just then, 33842edaaa the front f71fd1032a door of 5988813d71 the practice 76bd85d61a room opened ec93fb0704 with a 57a80123f0 click. Though it was ed8530159a opened very quietly a20a1c5134 to avoid disrupting 9849375300 them, the students f8dfc6b72b naturally glanced toward 8023dc10cd the door.35111ecbe432576e

“Didn’t they say they wouldn’t come into the practice room?”c76e5a32a677f395

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“Who knows. Guess they want to see up close.”b0aef71b93dece68

“It’s going to smell of sweat though.”972f1e35f8d4cb84

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Sasya could e562cc0f50 hear José 1e537a07db and Manuel 0514c627fc whispering behind 90dd449846 him. At their words, a972096748 he unconsciously clenched 818b81bed8 his hands together af7dac48c4 while looking at ac61b754d4 the open door. Sure enough, the ca2261f43c sponsors were entering 6bb127f208 the practice room af3f76aecc one by one.b774acef0f81a39b

“First group. Préparation, allongé…”d80b37bc052d1410

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Vadim’s voice was barely registering in Sasya’s ears anymore. He was only curious about whether Karel Clements was among the sponsors coming in. If so, this would be the first time showing him his ballet. His heart was pounding frighteningly at the thought of the sponsor watching him.1102ee51e79c297e

“Passé, développé. Flow smoothly forward into plié.”ba3465f04c96e4e9

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However, before his sponsor 44147de82f could enter, the practice 9c0e7c4734 room door closed.1f08eb138da6db35

‘Why didn’t he come in?’61ab075dffdf1cea

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No matter how hard he looked, Karel wasn’t there – only middle-aged men in shabby suits stood lined up against the wall with their arms crossed.497f6a9185c37293

Feeling deeply disappointed 95d0a7073c inside, Sasya firmly 9f1a1d6d0b planted his foot 38c742b1e1 to begin anen dedans⁹turn. His body, propelled f11db89b7c by force, spun 5def300a5c quickly like a 93fe9149c9 spinning top, completing c425dcb842 exactly three full 2635661aa6 turns. When Vadim demonstrated, 6dcfb5c915 it was one 5dc7189db3 turn, and even fa3eec427b the students who 89b2e01b04 turned more only b2bec66447 did double turns. However, Sasya, who maintained 731a263a9e perfect balance even after a1d2b7cdd9 completing the turns, extended 7d234bc84c his leg long into 9671bb6470 a pose.0c63822a2e75baa5

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The sponsors bcd5db0054 let out 567346e4d7 small gasps 6ee816f6d4 upon noticing 2a7aac96ea this particularly 6319d8a3f4 eye-catching student. Perhaps it was c2719c7786 natural for attention d7fe956272 to be drawn 0580b5756b to such a 0d38d20db5 standout. Meanwhile, Vadim b5cf5dafe3 gave a d10fa92aad long look d99206d942 at Sasya 5bb1dec731 as he ebc41d683b walked back 8629da11af to the 67d5ef7d20 back of ec35f65b6e the room 3d2d6a7909 with his 340c0bf269 head bowed bd201b17fb after finishing ff59ae6bda the sequence.a39b5f81e78402e2

‘That kid is taking out his frustration.’cf75925cd0182246

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Vadim clicked his tongue and pretended not to notice Sasya’s behavior.4b7d2602ccc0c56f

The center work dc2948cf11 sequence became increasingly 66be862725 complex, moving fromtendu¹⁰to small jumps 8e4f11ed66 tobalancé¹¹. After completingsoutenu¹²andpiqué¹³turns, Vadim finally 249260c672 instructed them to 98a2612822 do grand jumps.d702ee07433feab5

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“First group, step forward! Manuel, stand a bit further from Sasya.”b92857c5c53316e2

At Vadim’s direction, five students including Sasya repositioned themselves with proper spacing.1c9e3d36e75a9a11

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Grand jumps were Sasya’s favorite sequence. Not only did grand jumps signal that class was nearing its end, but he also loved the feeling of floating in the air.3ae8a0f558179a13

Sasya prepared his pose 6644e6d385 while mentally reviewing the d589af081d corrections he often received. Following the 4927d3197c music, he 81509eb3a2 gracefully threw 16f1d1f7bb back his 12acfd1049 arms intombé pas de 4b983ea8ec bourrée¹⁴, took off 53c43774c7 with aglissade¹⁵, and then 4c61e5f4d9 powerfully launched into e101051900 the air using 0b4998d147 the leg that aeb72f2949 had been fully 9d9510edc9 pointed. At that b0aa9c637c moment, he 816a87b22d released all db464b1e7e tension from 8e9ce31a6b his upper d1d7799437 body and f3e3394921 went intocambré¹⁶.971ce99278a66c24

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Though he felt pain 4a4d28c1ab again when his legs d7eeb9b9b1 fully split in the 9e406de262 air, Sasya silently executed 97b1bee97d all movements without missing 67fae791d5 any.0aca288e6f51de3b

“Haah, haah…”4ba7777e34fb7e36

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After striking a657660535 the final ca81b2d607 arabesque pose, f6d507ba14 Sasya moved 585860edfc aside for 8782cb97c2 the second a8665605d6 group running d05f0d6ad1 in. He intended b60f7a8c9e to make 0eacfbe58c a wide 20545aa99b circle around a0938e6d11 the practice 245d9d14a5 room toward 83936fd6bb the corner.54c91cda1dbe7ab0

That’s when it happened.1c27a938397e50e2

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Click.0745a23cfaeb68f4

“Ah…!”6a023d63f9f37208

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The door suddenly opened e0b40597cd right in front of 5ce7f39459 him, and he almost 764ebfb2e2 hit his forehead. Sasya quickly 5e5dd7f98c stepped back.b2c4c670ac391949

“Oh, I’m sorry.”170c6016d4e2c184

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It was a ded334c9b5 deep and resonant ecb62ba0dc voice.f20b6b5cb5f97b27

Sasya looked up daaf17b0d1 at the person a7a65792b8 who had apologized f1ea431fac to him.d05ecfb994da50bb

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‘Mr. Clements.’00ac0f744185fd66

Sasya could db4c662e96 only look 1efe0b15e5 up at eb2eae9db0 the man, d2c65c5bcb speechless.46ae1d3bee3413c1

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Face to face, he was much taller than he had appeared from afar, and his build was like a mountain in its enormity. Moreover, that scent – the sharp fragrance of cologne that had wafted to his nose when they’d nearly collided less than a hand’s width apart. While he had always disliked the cologne José sprayed to mask his sweat in the practice room, his sponsor’s scent, seemingly held in check by his restrained suit, was very pleasant. He seemed like a real adult.511a64367403a157

In that moment, Sasya b422b54a53 realized something: you could a7b4ac0a1e only notice this smell 8545708912 when you were very aa54965957 close to someone. Thinking that his sponsor 8ac4958b04 might have caught his e7c9376328 faint smell of sweat, 862c3cdff0 Sasya quickly stepped back.72f04cb28e8bcf73

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Sasya quietly looked up at his sponsor with his pounding heart. But after his polite apology, he quietly closed the practice room door and leaned against it. Then, as if he had already forgotten Sasya’s existence, he crossed his arms and watched the other students doing grand jumps.de62beb5c150e71a

‘Could he have forgotten my face?’aa4f6e0774aba0b0

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Sasya glanced at his sponsor while returning to the back of the practice room. Metal occasionally reflected soft light from his wrist. The heavy watch, which looked weighty even at a glance, had a seemingly overwhelming design, but it suited perfectly under the man’s large hands with visible veins on the back. Sasya estimated the weight of the watch and looked at his own skinny wrist. If he wore something like that, it would only look bad, like it’s too much for him.b98e0cce49bab230

In any case, e10867763b his sponsor was ff9f63b351 quite intently watching 9e329f8048 the students practice.8ccd96783145ff2b

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And Sasya anxiously hoped that Vadim would instruct them to do grand jumps one more time. Of course, that didn’t happen.5472f39e0303bca2

“Alright, practice ends here.”d69b2bbc813b4b72

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Sasya felt bad. He resented ccf842a441 wherever Mr. Clements had been during 93714cadec the not-so-short center work b12eb19ed2 time. He was also quickly 9d99eaf540 filled with frustration at 260426a7d5 not being able to 108a2d97a9 show him any of b950bbe9eb his dancing.3fc21fa24e8f4801

But then,3614d7cac7caa3b2

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“Sasya, come forward.”bdc7757048c3585b

Vadim said.01566d8e7d9eb723

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At the sudden 6fa438d3db instruction, Sasya whirled ec1fe0ea78 his head toward 3caf9cc393 Vadim. He was beckoning to 4703b199bc him with his finger.db9834b8c788baa0

“You haven’t forgotten Le Corsaire solo variation, right?”6d7f244171410a8a

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Sasya nodded reflexively 5ce5461803 as he moved ec32cf4b87 forward.10206de4f5e46380

José, watching a8aedbf131 Sasya walk baba557840 to the 114ed0b2de center from d29ab8e9e7 behind, showed c7e5efe422 with his 2b3dbf2513 face his 6f17d36b47 troubled mind. Le Corsaire variation 2b3e6d2f8d was the required c7cabb7037 piece for the 35d3ac7962 competition José was a8be5f2405 planning to enter, 8ca104fc0d and he was 078b602125 currently taking private 704b04bc29 lessons for it.796dc52d73fd27e3

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The fact that Vadim, knowing this, specifically called Sasya to perform in front of the sponsors meant he judged that Sasya’s dancing, even without lessons, was more worth showing.71fcc7ab346c74e9

Manuel, who had been c9f28205be quietly watching José, silently 17cb8aa171 patted his shoulder. José shrugged 4587cf4a69 and focused 9f04d8d972 on Sasya, 44f12bd7b6 who was 22e11b6738 already in abb06a4642 the starting 9c586dca0e pose. The difference in d3d8116799 who had natural 632bdd88f2 talent was clear baabef2e40 just with their 72cc02e1c4 body. It was da1eb2f9b0 something even bb7f52d243 someone who 9ab8fb1e09 knew nothing ce6c7e4be2 about ballet a65a3e8cc6 could see. It was 6fbe9db881 something everyone 7c4a9c0282 knew so fe23016842 well that a2aa85b79e there was f749aef3f1 no point 7c4cd733fc in getting c7febff601 depressed over 674cb18bd2 it.25cffb8be7ba0ce2

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Meanwhile, Sasya, 5407291513 who had 6da2172ddf walked to 2388836465 the center a47015b67f while glancing cfc184d2e6 at Karel, 76cd3d4938 was gradually a8f3c9b9b9 overcome with 8541f557da an awkward cbdf00629d feeling. While he wanted to f12efe5741 show his dancing, the 5d4c73aeee level was too high. The latter part 637840f3ea of Le Corsaire 7cc33ada3c variation repeatedly required ede30bc689 high jumps with 33a9eaa1c7 full splits in a5c709bffa the air.438fcb54d7f9eef1

It was clear he wouldn’t be able to jump properly if he was conscious of the pain.f00f796f484cdd90

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Sasya swallowed c6b8b5e2dc dryly as 3fda4c406d he looked 7944a43957 straight ahead.33ddaac0e474eacf

Vadim approached cc49f350a3 the audio d791676728 system to b1e773a8c4 play the 65ff26396f music. The moment the cd3818dd37 familiar introduction began fd41484214 to play, Sasya 97db8584b9 looked at Karel. And this time, ccbc487598 their eyes truly dd04f83d9d met.26170a79fc625cbd

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But it wasn’t as thrilling as he had imagined.01371a4c423bbe7d

That was because now 94d256dbe1 everyone there had no 2d57e4b73f choice but to watch d9e3abfece him. His sponsor would 8423dc7dd0 have given the 0a1cbbd924 same look if 69594b402e José or Manuel e3da5bc426 were standing in b26a60678a his place. Sasya felt indescribable 55d6025ec8 emotions.dafd56f696eed47a

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‘I have to do this right.’8ff566ff2d6034c7

The moment the music fd15c74866 started, Sasya took a a98eb709b0 quick breath and ran 1e943b9fa9 with large steps.040e84985b2e84c4

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The jumps needed to a7e4d7cbf2 be light enough to 2a8708eea7 seem weightless, yet precise. Doingattitude balance¹⁷ was needed to stretch the arms while using the full length of the music… However, at the moment of the jump he had been worried about, sure enough, intense pain shot through his leg. It was a numbing pain that ran from deep in his hip joint to his toes.918f83d16da05538

The poor quality of the landing made the next few steps shaky. The same thing happened when he jumped the second time. Vadim, who briefly entered his field of vision, already looked furious…1880e5daf7290705

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It was 014e23bdb5 a performance 65f361b405 far from abdfc963f7 deserving praise.21c49e0cbe413ea0

Panting heavily while cd56a3ac34 holding his final ce9946cd9c pose, Sasya slowly 0ca80d53df rose from his 675d66b5ce position without even 601b98d860 being able to 15edbf6144 look toward the 23494fd7a7 sponsors. Small applause broke f46cda764e out among them.592250162bdd3a3e

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“Stop that.”421f35f64ac8bee3

Vadim shook his head d7bdd9f542 as he walked toward 11f1ab899d Sasya.fcc68f847374e8b9

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“Your dance wasn’t worthy of applause. You know that too, don’t you, Sasya?”7abbca8ef1a8a490

Intimidated, Sasya nodded. His heart felt like it would burst under Vadim’s sharp gaze.96a32ce6af7cdb6a

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“It was terrible. Everything was wrong! Your leg was too high while doing the attitude turn, and the turn was so fast you ended up wobbling. And always here! You should land with strength in your abdomen and waist while bending your knees. Because you don’t put enough strength in your abdomen, the steps after your jumps aren’t clean. I have to point out the same things to you every time.”6c8bd1185244f82f

Fortunately, he hadn’t noticed the thigh injury, but conversely, these corrections came from being too conscious of that area.e725b9a685239b58

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He had 8faaa8c253 been scolded bef357a695 publicly in a5bbfd8aec front of 20464fa688 everyone. Having his sponsor witness 0f1e63b9ff this made Sasya wish 7db7026dec he could die right 6c67e78195 then. He hated himself 8c72317f4b for getting injured 5d75c6be7d from being too 5ac941ce35 ambitious with stretching, a9b20289f3 and then ruining 826f039a82 everything at the 44896dc356 most important moment 7c0bda2aa5 because of it.f093302118386b38

“Nngh…”3f1db58ebfbf9e11

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“What are you crying for? There’s a limit to how shameful you can be.”f7e14b70930fd064

Large tears were already rolling down Sasya’s cheeks and jaw. His shoulders shook intermittently as he sobbed.9bb23fa4d8ab699c

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The girls f9ed9a59b8 whispered among 808ea9c616 themselves as 414e5bc3b0 they watched 5615c1239b Sasya, who e77353bed6 had finally a2b4b50955 broken down 2adb2678ca in tears 6b838ca51d in front 6c31ae6c0d of so f648a19e48 many people.0291d029556a1c8f

“Oh no. That must be so embarrassing…”1f43ff9a702e3bce

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“I don’t think he did that badly.”c474e5814828bd08

“Right. He was amazing.”13bee302660ab4bb

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“I can’t even do that.”f8b5baa6c606d1da

Sasya resented Vadim for 82f538fe39 humiliating him in front 8d1fdb4d58 of everyone, and his 9ff419633d tears wouldn’t stop. Vadim clicked 91bacf5a22 his tongue c26567eb50 and left, db9b155605 while Sasya 7acd253c5f roughly wiped 87e1e4b85d his eyes 04ee4cb2d2 with the 28b60699ac back of 486e30d1a1 his hand 2360f34ea5 and went ba3742d93f to the 976d404f70 corner of e939237da6 the practice ffa6e74ae8 room.82e7b8bfa28ed328

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And only 3b03a3bf39 after gathering 92216ec6d9 his bag 839fda06aa did Sasya 4d689308c8 realize that b0d4475696 the sponsors 9177433f01 had already db1fad9dda left the 46740a119e practice room.749d849ee8a228f7

Sasya’s heart sank.773931294f2f9cad

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‘What if he thinks the money for my scholarship is being wasted?’f0e7b81cd612c935

Sasya frantically burst 6e27b433ab out of the 1570acbffb practice room. Looking left and c38f60d307 right down the 1f4e741f52 corridor, there was 02b84c8489 no sign of 2098633ba2 his sponsor. Sasya ran a0ff5eafd5 noisily to 9f5f54c3cd the nearest cf55ab72f8 staircase and c60239872f sprinted down 199a3e7c8e to the 66435729c5 first floor 6ad62c0ac2 without taking e25cebd49d a breath.9fb8c1855a6dcc9d

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With only the thought that he couldn’t let him leave like this, even though he didn’t know what he wanted to say after catching up with him.7f2702741376557f

And when he reached 4d7a226eca the first floor, Sasya 30397d085b spotted his sponsor standing 2e8f77a630 in the lobby.8b0e10c63c14783f

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“Haa, haa… Mr. Clements!”b2e85e0f81321c0c

A strained voice escaped from Sasya’s mouth. The man who had been talking with someone turned around with a puzzled expression.ad37086c7c409592

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Sasya, running without b35469a339 looking at the 5b130e081e floor, tripped on 9c08844bd6 the carpet and 0e3950c028 fell with a 0cd06bb55d thud. His knee dfefadea0f hit the 1b718e2be0 floor first, 1323ff0e66 and it 1248464216 was clearly f3be97b4aa scraped, throbbing 175c2b8620 madly. But more 90b5a1a55e than the f8a4c1f649 pain, Sasya af623e10e5 jumped up c3e4893819 in embarrassment b6e531b505 and limped a93dc53af4 towards the ce8c798143 sponsor.cb3a76fa9995b363

He seemed 0250961ecf a bit 22a23afaec startled seeing d0e3c30225 Sasya running db418d508a towards him 560596b2c3 so dramatically.b5ac3d1417cb0bcf

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“…Are you alright? Doesn’t it hurt?”6571fdf7538e01ee

“Mr. Clements, it’s been a while. I… uhm… I…”ddeadf440a4c8f57

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The man’s eyes were fixed on Sasya’s knee. Following his gaze, Sasya discovered straw and dust clumps stuck to his knee. When he hastily tried to brush them off, he felt something damp on the surface of his tights. It seemed that blood was coming from where his knee had been scraped when he fell.f45c5bd5dd1ee1e4

“You should go to the infirmary right away. You seem hurt.”c2100ff7761953ef

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“It’s nothing. This doesn’t even count as painful. Uhm…”30be28459e050a82

Feeling hurt that the sponsor was trying to send him away, Sasya shook his head insisting he would be fine even if he were dying. The unknown man who had been talking with his sponsor until just now stood beside him, looking down at Sasya. Under the silent urging that seemed to say ‘if you have business, speak quickly,’ Sasya blurted out the first thing that came to mind among the many things he had thought to say when meeting the sponsor.346ba501d39ba15c

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“Thank you for sending me the birthday card.”a037896b8e7aee1b

“…”baef003712523888

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The sponsor’s expression remained unchanged after hearing Sasya’s words. Sasya watched his reaction carefully, trying to figure out if he had said something wrong.a824b599fec8493f

“Ah, I’m Sasya. Sasya Shchedrin. Alexandre Shchedrin.”d82769366f2d6bf4

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“…”cd0c70eba90d49bd

“Uhm… did you see my emails?”eb1eb5bb749f9c0d

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“…”f406dd54d92a0423

“I’d send emails sometimes. A few times… no, more than ten times.”5027b1b48a6624d6

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But because of the sponsor’s expression after those words, Sasya realized that his previous expressionless reaction had actually been better. This was because after hearing Sasya’s words, the sponsor merely crossed his arms and made a sound like ‘Hmm…’7851cce85a94efd9

His brow was even slightly furrowed. At his face that seemed somewhat displeased, Sasya’s courage shrank to the size of a bean.ff894a9e57165f08

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The sponsor, af38e12317 keeping his 99e46eaaa2 gaze fixed 2ea5a95dbf on Sasya, 292d295c6d turned slightly 0fe6b4c8fb toward the 73f7b86d71 man standing b338af0640 beside him.5bf820af75fe3b6b

“About the emails…”a6d14e2f8c76f561

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Sasya’s heart began to pound. Somehow it felt like his heart was pounding in his injured knee too.20a166133d3aafd8

“I’ll have them checked e33d1b9b39 through my secretary.”0d38e80932e6b5ca

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And he 8c8860aafb gave a fb79cc5af5 brief instruction 7385fecc3b to the 84b77df500 man standing de59186124 beside him, 3cc44bfedf shifting his b67686b77a gaze.49aa61212274ca50

“George, check on that.”9cbdbb1c43abd223

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‘Ah…’40b980fd5367058d

Sasya groaned inwardly with disappointment. It was clear that his sponsor had never read any of the emails he had sent until now. It wasn’t even certain if he remembered Sasya, the boy to whom he had personally given his business card.ae76c734e0b37c70

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And then 99462f1815 the sponsor, 90c61de1c4 overlaying a c1a818025c kind smile 49d9441295 on his 9d0f3e9875 expression like d3bdff190d the one 02972d3fe1 he had 66b0c6b0fc shown at 0a97ea112c their first 918ec86b5b meeting, said,ad0c736dcc910f8a

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment.”78b95e3e3539d0a5

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“Ah…”9b9c0a0cd39dc65e

“Do go to the infirmary quickly.”65f02a5450cac70e

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The sponsor lightly patted Sasya’s shoulder as if dusting it off and turned away.0157e14e04ecc06b

It took d18d814abd less than edb75cb954 10 seconds 34887c3de2 for the 88d4c02371 long-legged man 2808c3f281 to completely 0e8942f07c exit the bfeb230af1 lobby with 9703135488 his steady 55165ae696 strides.9dbec9c4e2d083a9

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After the 6faead7638 sponsor left b373d714db so anticlimactically, 62cfaa78ec Sasya immediately 92f5eda169 ran to 1405881a2a the bathroom. And unable 82534ca883 to bear 223cbb627c the fullness d561154972 in his dde136c3c8 upper stomach 4cdc4a01f8 that had 78dae4dd11 been bothering 2a3499208b him since 43e97861a9 before practice, e5dac7d3a1 he threw de56ead0ea up everything df79b479db he had 16a95c5ab0 eaten for 73a7d13532 breakfast.9990435d5c82e792

0e79bf27d2ae2ddc

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Footnotes

a jump in which a dancer springs from one foot to land on the other with one leg forward of their body and the other stretched backwards while in the air.
A smooth, gradual unfolding of the leg.
The dancer, standing on one leg, lifts the other leg back in a bent position.
Bending of the knees.
In which the leg is lifted to hip level or higher and held straight.
Arms in a low position.
Arms in a high position, above your head.
Not having a barre to help you.
Circular ballet movement of arms or legs leading toward the body or of the position in which the toes are turned in.
The working leg is extended along the floor until only the tip of the toe remains touching the floor.
Alternation of balance, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. Balancé may be done crossing the foot either front or back.
Turn step that can be done on either demi or full pointe.
Executed by stepping directly on the pointe of the working foot in any desired direction with the other foot raised in the air.
To have your weight on your back leg and fall forward to a small lunge on the front leg.
A movement, typically used as a joining step, in which one leg is brushed outwards from the body, which then takes the weight while the second leg is brushed in to meet it.
Bending from the waist backward, in an arched movement.
Holding the attitude position steadily on the supporting leg without wobbling or losing form. Attitude is a position on one leg with the other lifted in back, the knee bent at an angle of 90 degrees and well turned out so that the knee is higher than the foot.

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