LM Chapter 4

What changed with the vacation wasn’t just my part-time job starting at 7 AM. The person I used to take over shifts from now became the one taking over from me.

“The cash count matches, right?”

I now asked about the cash count that Cheolsoo hyung used to ask me about. Since I sometimes got the cash count wrong, I was curious to see how this person would do. However, from mid-June until now, for a month, he hadn’t been wrong even once. Of course, you could say it’s because he has been working here for a long time, but beyond that, he was accurate in everything. His ability with numbers was especially good. Even the store manager acknowledged this.

‘Ah, Cheolsoo is a human calculator. I once tested him with a four-digit multiplication, and he got that right too.’

As someone who barely remembers the multiplication tables, this was hard to believe. Of course, since the manager tended to exaggerate, the multiplication might have been something like ‘3000×4000’. Anyway, he never made mistakes with numbers.

“It matches.”

He replied and immediately prepared to leave. He said he had been working at this convenience store for three years. That meant for three years, he always worked nights on weekdays. Even for someone in their 20s with good stamina, it couldn’t be easy. But whether I met him in the morning or at midnight, he always looked the same.

Except for today. He still had a poker face, but something was slightly different. A somewhat tired feeling. Were there many customers last night? Just thinking about it lightly, I checked the shelves visually. Then I discovered several types of jellies were completely empty in chunks.

“Oh? Did the jelly mister come yesterday?”

The jelly mister was what we called someone who would sweep up jellies when drunk. I only experienced it once, but he said he usually came in the early morning to sweep them up. Cheolsoo hyung didn’t even respond, but since that was his usual self, I muttered to myself.

“What makes him so happy that he buys jellies like that?”

“It’s the opposite, actually.”

He blurted out as he came out with his bag. His plain t-shirt suddenly filled my vision like a wall standing up. That shirt, a Prussian blue, was always the same, like a uniform. His shoulders seemed especially broad today.

“What do you mean opposite?”

“He buys them because he’s not happy. To try to feel better.”

Ah, that could be true. I nodded.

“That’s fortunate.”

“Fortunate?”

“Whatever his reason for being sad is, if jellies can make him feel better, that’s fortunate. In this world, there are many things where no matter how expensive or precious they are, they can’t make you feel better.”

Cheolsoo hyung looked at me for a moment before turning away. I quickly called out to him.

“Cheolsoo hyung, wait a moment.”

I quickly grabbed a nutrition bar from the shelf and rang it up. Then I held it out to him.

“Here, eat this.”

“Why?”

“To make you feel better?”

He stared at me for a while before lowering his eyes to the nutrition bar in my hand.

“What if it doesn’t make me feel better at all?”

“We’ll have to test something else then.”

There’s so much here. I gestured around the convenience store like giving a tour with my palm. There must be something you like among all this. Without hesitation, Cheolsoo hyung took out a pint-sized ice cream container from the ice cream freezer. If there had been a mirror in front of me, I would have seen my eyeballs swinging like a pendulum. Häagen-Dazs? Not even a mini cup, but a pint? The expensive one? Is he crazy?

“…I didn’t know you could joke around like this, Cheolsoo hyung.”

“I can’t.”

“Oh, you can.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to acknowledge that.”

“Okay, I acknowledge it. Ring it up.”

Me? I barely held back from asking. And once again, I realized something. You shouldn’t meddle in what’s not your business. While Cheolsoo hyung might not be able to joke, he certainly gave life lessons. I needed to be careful about who I messed with.

“What are you doing, not ringing it up?”

I roughly took the ice cream and scanned the barcode. My hands were shaking. This one item was more expensive than my hourly wage.

“Here you go, make sure to be happy.”

Unlike my words, my voice trembled as if I were cursing him, wishing for his unhappiness. In contrast, the one taking the ice cream from my hand turned away with a somewhat refreshed face.

“We’ll see.”

We’ll see, he says. I’ll see about being happy too. I was dumbfounded. I stared at the dark blue back disappearing behind the glass door until the end. Fine, let’s consider this as a payback for helping me during the cult incident. Just watch, I’ll never accept help from Kim Cheolsoo again.

***

‘Minha! Help me please. ㅜㅜ’

The day after I made myself miserable from forcibly trying to make someone else happy, I received an SOS from Saebyeok.

‘Since it’s vacation, we decided to change a small space in the gallery for children, and I agreed to plan it. The original plan fell through suddenly so I’m stepping in as an emergency replacement, and even though the space isn’t large, it’s still the first job I’ve been given while learning gallery work. So, the idea I came up with is…’

Saebyeok was excited, which was so uncharacteristically of him, and poured out those words in a rush. Hearing his enthusiasm, I would’ve run to help even if he’d asked me to clean the bathroom. Plus, the gallery was only a 15-minute bus ride from the convenience store.

“Since it’s a project for kids, I thought it’d be great to have something they can take photos with. You can’t take photos in galleries, right? And I thought it would be more fun if they could become part of the artwork when taking pictures.”

Saebyeok grabbed me as soon as he saw me and started explaining everything. As he said, the small exhibition hall had several large prints reaching the ceiling. They were enlarged prints of famous paintings that anyone would recognize. The peculiar thing was that the figures were missing from the middle of the paintings, leaving only the backgrounds. Noticing my gaze, Saebyeok quickly explained.

“I filled in the missing figures convincingly. During the actual exhibition, the original paintings will be displayed next to these, and people can stand in the empty spots to take photos mimicking the poses. What do you think?”

“Sounds fun.”

“Really? Do you think kids will like it?”

Saebyeok asked desperately, making me laugh softly.

“Of course they’ll like it. I want to try taking photos too!”

At my answer, he let out a sigh of relief and smiled for the first time. The guy who was always so neat and tidy looked terrible from preparing all this.

“There aren’t many paintings, but making this was really hard. Creating convincing backgrounds wasn’t easy. Since I’m not very skilled with graphic tools, I got help from a friend majoring in design. But the bigger problem was printing. The colors wouldn’t come out the way I wanted, so I struggled with that a lot. I can’t even count how many times I went to the print shop.”

While listening to Saebyeok’s complaints, I looked around the interior and guessed what I needed to do.

“What about the frames?”

“Ah, that’s the problem. I specifically ordered antique frames, but… haah… this is what came.”

Saebyeok held out a frame sample. It was a plain brown block—clearly cheap plastic.

“I wanted to give the whole room a classic feel, but with frames like these… I know most people won’t notice, but it still bothers me. I’m thinking of painting them. I need to finish everything by tomorrow morning to show my mom, but…”

Saebyeok pointed to a pile of frames stacked against one wall. Next to them were paint and varnish cans. But I was more concerned about something else.

“That wall is empty?”

“…The prints aren’t ready yet.”

Saebyeok paused, then suddenly clasped his hands together and pleaded.

“I’m going to the printing shop now and wait until they print my pictures. But if I do that, I won’t have time to paint the frames…”

“I’ll do it.”

“Minha-ya, thank you so much.”

Saebyeok hugged me tightly. I patted his back while making it clear that nothing comes free in this world.

“In return, please keep helping me with materials for class next semester too.”

***

When was the first time I picked up a brush to paint? I don’t remember exactly, but in my childhood, my hands were always stained with paint. When I was young, both my parents worked, so I practically lived at my grandmother’s house. Grandmother was also busy working, so I mainly spent time in grandfather’s workshop.

Grandfather was a painter, but his paintings rarely sold. He would humble himself, saying he was just a mere painter. Since my grandmother was responsible for supporting the family, grandfather had long taken charge of household chores and skillfully took care of me too. Thanks to him, I also became a painter too.

So what couldn’t I paint? I confidently picked up the brush, and when I came to my senses, it was past 2 AM. I don’t remember how I got home and fell asleep that night. Still, with the satisfaction of completing my assigned task, I slept well and returned to the gallery the next afternoon.

Although Saebyeok hadn’t asked me to come, I wanted to check the results of my work. The exhibition was only days away anyway. But maybe I was just being nosy again. There were several people standing in Saebyeok’s exhibition room. I stopped just as I was about to turn the corner, so my view was blocked and I couldn’t see the people inside clearly. I could tell how pale Saebyeok’s profile was though.

“Prints? Hah. How tasteless, really.”

Unlike Saebyeok and three others standing nervously, one woman looked around the exhibition room while clicking her tongue.

“Who is it? What idiot thought of hanging prints in a place meant to showcase real paintings?”

She turned as if asking. Even from a glimpse of her face, I could immediately tell who she was. She looked similar to Saebyeok. Her voice wasn’t loud, but the coldness in it made even me feel frozen. I could see Saebyeok hanging his head low.

“I’m asking, who’s the one behind this shoddy work?”

I unconsciously looked at Saebyeok with concern. I knew how much he had looked forward to and prepared for this. Seeing him frozen like that, as if terrified, troubled me.

“Manager Lee, you tell me.”

Her gaze turned to the young man standing next to Saebyeok. He glanced at Saebyeok and spoke hesitantly.

“Director, uhm…”

“Manager Lee said it was fine. No, he even praised it as a very good idea.”

Saebyeok suddenly interrupted. Manager Lee turned, surprised, to Saebyeok, but Saebyeok kept repeating the same words while looking at the director, though tensely.

“I didn’t know much about it, so I just asked what he thought, and Manager Lee said prints were fine and told me to go ahead with it…”

Manager Lee’s face filled with shock. He tried to speak, but the director settled the situation with one word.

“Take it all down.”

When she left the exhibition room, I quickly retreated and hid in the bathroom. No sooner had I hidden than I heard footsteps heading toward the entrance. I waited a while longer just in case. Having seen something I shouldn’t have, I was reluctant to be seen by others.

But perhaps I should have left right away. A moment later, stomping footsteps approached the bathroom. It seemed like two people entered, and then a loud voice echoed.

“I said it was a very good idea and to go ahead? Saebyeok, I didn’t think you were like this, trying to make me look bad in front of your mother.”

“When did I ever?”

“When? When did I ever say such things? I clearly said that while your plan wasn’t bad, it didn’t fit with this gallery exhibition. But you insisted on doing it anyway, right?”

“If you really thought it didn’t fit, you should have stopped me more firmly. Or prevented me from doing it altogether. Or did you just watch on purpose to make me look bad? To let me get scolded by my mother?”

“Ha, I can’t believe this. You’re really something else.”

Manager Lee let out a bitter laugh and added sharply.

“You handle this project yourself. Whether you mess around with those shoddy prints or whatever until the morning after tomorrow, get the consequences you wanted so badly.”

His footsteps faded as he left, but between the steps, I clearly heard a curse.

‘Fucking bastard.’

A moment later, I heard the sound of running water along with quiet sobbing. I remained seated in the toilet stall, continuing to hold my breath.

“Oh? Minha-ya.”

Saebyeok, with reddened eyes, recognized me and blinked in surprise. In response to his look that seemed to ask ‘Why are you here?’, I held up the bag in my hand.

“I thought you probably hadn’t eaten while finishing up, so I brought some food…”

I trailed off while looking around inside. The prints that had been on the walls were all on the floor.

“Ah, the concept changed. Uhm, the prints didn’t fit with this exhibition…”

“Really? Then we can make something new.”

“New… how?”

Saebyeok’s voice sounded so desperate that I couldn’t even look at him. If I did, it would reveal that I had overheard everything earlier.

“This was meant for children, right?”

“Yeah.”

“There was always something I wanted to do when I went to exhibitions as a child.”

Next to the fallen prints were framed images of the original paintings in their regular size. I walked over and picked one up.

“I always wanted to touch the paintings so much. You know how the paint is colorful and has texture? I was really curious about it. Kids probably all feel the same, right?”

Saebyeok still looked at me confused. I casually suggested an idea.

“Let’s let them touch the paintings.”

“But these are prints?”

“We can paint parts of them for real. Even if it’s just simple large brush strokes, they can feel the texture of the paint with their hands.”

I smiled at Saebyeok, who still hadn’t gathered his thoughts.

“Hey, we’ve painted so much at school that we’re sick of it. What’s a little more?”

And that’s how I dug my own grave.