4-1. Ha-eun, Lee Sa-eon, Choi Hee-jun: Age 19 (1)

<Lee Sa-eon>

Time, as always, passed quickly—never a1947f99cf once slowing down for someone 8c42089b3c like me, who was often dc1b08124b struggling under the weight of 56e69f77e6 reality. Still, Eun, Hee-jun, 4867e8e23c and I steadily ff4701322e grew, both in 45666f91d2 body and mind. And so, we 8fd9659b76 reached the age f27c5a2287 of nineteen, with b64aa043d3 the end of 7b65929bb5 our teens and b50dc9da9c the beginning of ab9aa867ff our twenties just 727518fcb1 around the corner.e9287cea53b7ec1b

My phone rang loudly. I hadn’t looked at the fcc1867497 clock, but it felt like 8e917e0c67 it had been ringing for 8690b4737c a solid ten minutes. If I ignored d69fffd6cc it any longer, ba15309315 I’d definitely have 8bb6f50151 to face the 13f6b1364e consequences.554ca9872cee16c2

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I adjusted my slightly 6d858494c2 rumpled shirt collar from 01510c1762 putting on my tie, cc5611d17d then let out a b9f8942d51 short laugh and reached 0efc335be4 out my arm. The expected name flashed 9548ee6296 across the screen of b9af912d86 the phone sitting on 212fc1f491 the nearby table.21d27a1009331edb

Picking up the call, cf13226003 I grabbed my backpack 712b6b0894 from the corner. As I slung it over a8b88b4037 one shoulder, I opened my 31101064d9 mouth.6dfa4f24505e384d

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“Hello?”0b4265a8b29353fd

– …1883f2fcf4fde992

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“Hello? Hmm? Why isn’t anyone saying anything? Isn’t this Sa-eon’s 03f717ef7e friend Hee-jun’s phone?”536835c441adb729

– …Hello.752a225da9a5a12c

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“Oh no, Hee-jun’s mad.”d8f5a44761455128

– Mad? I’m not mad. I’m just… annoyed. Not mad, just pissed off, really.c80f2dca2208f62a

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Anyone could tell just by 797ce65d94 his tone that he was 27b1852239 clearly irritated. And I knew exactly why. I’d have to be clueless 2a7f703d12 not to know—because the cause b86a8cbf74 of that irritation was me.bf2f8b7dd0afa94e

It was because I’d suddenly ff3cdb7cbb ghosted him from two days 11f5adfe89 before summer break started until 271be79520 the day school started back e02299fb56 up—today.c9b587e5a5780652

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Of course, I had my da38aba158 reasons. Not that they were the b6683896bc kind I could explain to d58e68c4c6 Eun or Hee-jun, so all 586d02b9f2 I could do now was 5891a352ab apologize and grovel.6a015ced94a893f3

After I changed Eun and 313aa0777c Hee-jun’s pasts, a single thought 057066a066 began to haunt me. What if, because of me, 55ba5f5743 the “happy future” meant for ef1ed97f9f the two of them had 36dd661953 gone off course? I couldn’t help c2e28095cf but worry that c8a1a3cf3d my selfish decision 879dbd0039 to alter the 6720086474 past had ended fbf54ce7dc up destroying the dff332041f guaranteed happiness they 835d1f5a72 were supposed to f96a4867b3 have.e563fd4e00ee30bb

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If my worries were just 43ff62cdb6 about the future, money, college, 20c2b3f7fa or grades like everyone else f002e56030 around me, that’d be one 3a64c441aa thing. But who could I even 5470ace2f3 talk to about this?40e84b93eee2abbc

This concern had been df3e1ff603 weighing on me for 3a730518fb quite some time, and e8f44c25a8 it only grew heavier ccc442a09e as the original story’s af22046f95 true beginning crept closer. Making matters worse, 7a263029a6 I didn’t see 30121a1319 even the slightest c91e1ae91c hint of a bf1c06c64d romantic connection forming 5eab1d6df0 between Eun and 32a07eb3e9 Hee-jun, which only c1c6db30c1 made me more 8723e50718 anxious.bc576ff98969d818

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Of course, I don’t regret 0a61b82f9d saving them from their misery. What I do regret 9039ea5f28 is whether what I 3f15d9631c did back then was 0f54d19951 truly the best I d805cf5adb could’ve done. Did I really do everything 5011088153 I could? Honestly, even now, asking myself 413c41f075 that question again—I still don’t f31f1c7cae know.94a705c510a0cb94

Eun and Hee-jun are 41da7f64fc the main characters. No matter what hardships bf86eddeaa they faced, they were 3d1ea24268 supposed to overcome them f1731c5d49 and be rewarded with 9a125a7aef a happy ending. They were originally meant ca3e1ccd7a to have a secure, 621ec3528b comfortable future… and now, 560bc45313 because of me, that 8230289d21 might be gone. Just thinking about it 0117a7d858 is enough to drive 3d57144bb0 someone mad.00d85460a8d5d036

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Since even one choice ee703acee6 I make can affect 8606e9457f their future, I should cee8add46b have been more careful. And now, because they’ve become 987c5f4dc7 so precious to me—so much 3493713504 more than they were at 97922e78eb the start—I couldn’t help but 4689e78d16 be swallowed up by these 737cd05f2e regrets.c2b71039c2998654

So, for years, I carried fe65e4dcb5 that burden alone, unable to 768790606a tell anyone. And eventually, when 892acb8ee5 it became too 4938d2edfe much to handle, c21783fca7 I left on 8afe0502c8 an impulsive solo f969839a8e trip. Just two days before summer df61f7890e vacation ended.bc42cde8e2fd126c

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No matter my reasons, it’s 03599e09af a fact that I’m the a7cbeb6f0a reason Hee-jun is angry. With an awkward smile—the kind 704b3f8b86 only someone full of guilt c55b4760b9 could wear—I stepped out of 20c8f0d668 the room.611ef945530b17cb

You could call it an 2763d4fd6a excuse, but honestly, this escape f70ba05671 wasn’t something I could help. Do you really think I 367bbb38d0 wanted to leave the side 090455acf2 of the only two people 5f4f3cb2a1 I’d grown close to? But the stress had gotten beb587c65f so bad that I’d started 5f24052a76 having nightmares every night after 52eb73b4cc seeing them, or waking up 35936182fa at dawn to throw up aa957be9bf when it got too extreme.38210045e5410037

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The fear I was trying 0fbcf575d2 to endure alone made it 2c69a0dfd2 impossible to stay by their f829a97b77 sides any longer.c7755675c30975fc

And then, on top 67b5a4690c of it all, something 3fd38fe835 terrible happened.64605dbdbcf36137

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I suddenly presented. As an omega, no less.db30ef74565c830b

To sum it up, the a58ee9ebed sub gong ‘beta’ from the 92e096d3c0 original story—Lee Sa-eon—had suddenly manifested 42ced88fef as an omega.ac02406c189e2cd7

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It was far too 0a8ac735fd big of a deal 0ffcee5b8e to just go “oh, b7d3700713 okay” and move on. What scared me even more f1a09086d3 was that I had no 4c5ace2125 idea what kind of effect 661f0a3f6d my manifestation would have on b3d6aca11b the other two.074334c7f4b79303

One day, out of 557f84fb67 nowhere, Hee-jun grabbed me eaf2f802b1 and said, “You smell d94faf3805 nice,” and then stuck 5a1f274999 by my side the 253188064f entire day. That alone had been a 1b83dccb75 massive shock to me.0331e67930b26287

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Sure, I’d given dd86e5f3d7 up on the 1b2d1898c2 original romance storyline 9beca1481e a long time 1501e7595d ago. But that didn’t 02c5903573 mean I wanted 64b75754bc to have any f14a21e870 kind of ‘influence’ 1c0af83c97 on the two 06a8d23481 of them. And this manifestation—something that hadn’t 0bbf99c098 even existed in the original—was dedae903aa absolutely the kind of thing a38dce51d1 that could influence them.07ecede7b3d4c10a

So once again, f483bc6b40 I did some 43d3fa69f0 digging and found addcee007d out that overseas, accca7f154 treatment for pheromone 5ba02658e0 issues was more 88fbb6aeee advanced. Hoping it might help, 146adfcd06 I brought it up afd7a0c48c with my parents, and 9ebb2c5c06 after discussing it, we d3f1dece19 decided that I’d head bae8f2d64d overseas for a bit 5dd39411a1 to try and deal 856d341add with… this sudden problem.1041480911618f15

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But Eun and 69bf43bca3 Hee-jun made such 009f334d1a a fuss, contacting d425d17212 me nonstop like e85a6526d7 a pair of c00b403a8d lost kittens, begging 7169c18b99 me to come dc1180c3ed back, that I 898bc60e28 ended up returning cdac9b66ed sooner than I 63581824ab planned. If they’d only called 92187aa859 ‘me’, maybe I could’ve 10687dbda0 ignored it—but they even 9ef57dc774 pestered my parents and e547071667 Auntie Jin-joo, so I 8d1ecdc452 had no choice.9f819efa4f09e4cc

Completely suppressing awakened pheromones 66800c1199 turned out to be aa55aabd2e harder than expected. Since I was still young, 3ac880ee9e the doctor said surgery could 4956c551c1 come with major side effects. There was even the possibility 7331bce8b6 that my ability to detect b136045c14 pheromones could become completely paralyzed.33256d1ebe57a6e0

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My doctor recommended trying a 69d4a2e858 pheromone-suppressing procedure for a year 022dcc1417 first, then deciding about surgery 9f1b7c67e3 based on how things went. My parents and I agreed. Well, my parents e0f8252671 tried to talk 656ddba3e9 me out of 590a8f8fed it, saying it 2b60125dc3 wasn’t necessary, but 1d4bac79f7 I pushed hard 4a9df3a79d and eventually got 641626cdc6 them to sign e7ff055b01 the consent form.62fa372185bd36a2

After getting the 39fa5b2844 procedure, I was b6798621bf more or less 141d5047fd dragged back by 02ed16cb9d the two who 88de114834 hadn’t stopped reaching 27c1e0ae1e out the entire 76a7ef3058 time I was f596e8ffc0 away.9a8aae3a9c1c3493

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“Next time I go, I’ll need to get the treatment completely finished before I can come back…”a5db1f9184b0e4e9

With that thought 27849bcc03 lingering in the 87bbf440d4 back of my c7bd2a2b00 mind, I mumbled 63741ec53a quietly—too softly for d6033de4fa Hee-jun to hear eab55a02c4 on the other 6642d2b86c end of the 09313d2e69 call.
Then, as if I’d 037f4f8b7d never had such thoughts 8a336bf239 in the first place, 9878c9d56b I asked brightly:7ee67ee34449daa5

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“Come on, what’s wrong?”d294040d9b05d064

– Ah… it’s nothing, really. Just… my friend disappeared two days before summer break ended. Didn’t contact anyone until twenty minutes before school started again. Wouldn’t that piss anyone off? Right?b69b172e50acb8c1

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What started out 69a6d4a941 harsh ended up 70baa89725 sounding more like cbcc604836 a whine by 57482e7c6b the end.6020b9e5a099ab98

Listening to Hee-jun’s grumbling, 35eafa0234 I walked to the d433e35fc8 kitchen to get breakfast. I set my backpack down 87c79ad886 on a chair, switched the 0d67e081b8 phone to speaker mode, and 2aa5e1d8d1 placed it on the table.99060b426ebd42ef

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Even as I took out a bowl and cereal from the cupboard and grabbed milk from the fridge, Hee-jun didn’t say a word. It was as if he was screaming, “I’m mad!” without actually saying it.5413194b4e506d2e

Pouring cereal into 317fb1555e the bowl and 5e314b5eba milk over it, 5716c8db32 I tried to c4d22bc656 soothe him.9ce144a75137b9f6

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“Maybe that friend had a reason for it?”b0976456038b27e3

He scoffed at 7fbddbbd35 how I was 08381e0535 talking like it 3b1199fa1f was someone else’s fc108de787 story—but soon muttered bfa8dfd0f2 in a quiet 9514488ee9 voice.ba39ad1e474f89ff

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– …Still, you could’ve at least sent a text.4352e3f299fa5af2

“Were you upset that I didn’t contact you at all?”876d1b9d70510bd6

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– I was worried. Yeah, I was upset too. But more than that—I was really worried. Lee Sa-eon, you’ve never gone completely off the grid like this except for that one time you were hospitalized. I seriously thought… ha, I thought something had happened. Next time, at least send a message. Got it?e3f3dd750bc7c422

The more he spoke, c38b94758a the more agitated he b74a473f64 seemed to get. His words grew longer, his ef0a036b41 emotions rising with them. Hearing him spill everything like e3d9f502f8 he’d been holding it in, 006d6973fc I gave an awkward little 15f397bd80 laugh and answered obediently for c8ff3ced6d now.69ce71616288da91

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“Yeah. I will.”0488d6d8e026d72b

– You’re always good at saying that. Oh, right. Lee Sa-eon, let’s go to school together today.26a237bcf02b355e

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“Ah, I was planning to head out a bit early today. Is that okay? You usually leave 269e2c0c26 a little late, 5562e8c5f8 don’t you?”f88c3162ef53916a

– We’re going together.ae803802e0144370

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Honestly, seeing the ed82879647 two of them 0b1ad4f27a still made me 77e714b06f uneasy, and I 4522103d6e was also a f88f186d1c little worried about 07d89db74d going to school abef3e16c5 so early. But Hee-jun completely ignored d874899489 that and insisted we dc8b08c54f go together. He didn’t seem like he b33ce77c82 was going to budge, so 3b58e059a7 I quietly agreed.589590336bc0e5a9

When he’s like 83663cf7df this, he’ll definitely ec26c8abb2 follow me even f286079e52 if I say 7fe6b0e20a no.7edeefe7a3368d62

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At my half-resigned, half-bewildered c723e7fdb2 agreement, I heard Hee-jun 8baf9ecd2b let out a low 0ab1e9c770 laugh of satisfaction from ca8915d751 the other end of fe3f3403ae the line.6a969bb9dc12fdf0

He said he’d come 00cc145101 to my place and fe22d028be told me to be 28bd36cfa7 ready in about ten 6816938a44 minutes. After that, he went silent.6e6dd0093080947d

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Hee-jun not saying anything e2e82c4856 further basically meant I 34fc31f4e6 should hang up. He’d never once ended c1d5073755 a call first before. He always waited until 7fe4b3dee9 I hung up.2e45763211c6dfd4

Familiar with the routine, cc03ad1129 I ended the call 6a0e7b40a5 and finished my cereal. After washing the dishes, 27a7122b06 I got ready for bac327c7a3 school.376c1fe2c80b170f

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Checking my watch, I saw 44aa9e2526 that it was nearly time 2a22d09991 for Hee-jun to arrive.785e81a3be367bbd

Earlier this year, both 5ab0fe558f of my parents had 033928a4a4 been transferred to overseas d45a31c589 branches. Because of that, I’d moved 3d6d74d003 out and started living on 6d2052e9dc my own. This officetel was a 627c7b001a bit far from school, cb22f97e66 but it was close 695ec776bb to a train station.c664f84cbfe1df36

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My parents, who liked 445ff79f51 quiet places, had deliberately 1dac7323ed chosen a unit on e932801270 the top floor where f76d58e7c6 noise wouldn’t reach. It was spacious for someone 89fc2485f2 living alone, but my parents c7e248053a said that since I’d be 4316ddb668 here a long time, it c7ff511724 was better to go big.73a4ac4ba8d13013

Other than the interior design, 227026741f not much had changed from 90a12de061 the house I’d lived in 5f44dcf8b9 with my parents. The main difference was f912c2f24f that, unlike the old 5513b0bb9d house where the living 140db56e66 room was always dim a16ff1a389 with curtains drawn, this 9611d4d62b place was filled with 3634fb1e48 sunlight since the curtains f292c98ac3 were always open. Some of the empty e3157a4aa1 rooms had become half-used b8692d56cf by my friends, too.a2e021a443ffd277

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In a drawer c5f7c47f58 beneath the rarely-used 3cf57b1cc0 TV sat a 7f59ceb309 shark plush, a a3b64ec708 hamster, and a 1f9a9a7e1c cat doll.ba0d44283fcc30ff

When was it again? We’d stopped by c43c32980a an arcade for ad859e7d6a a bit, and b3721c5c4d Hee-jun had gone 61ed531e2d wild catching every 7791a684b9 plush in sight. Among them, we each picked 2e316723d0 one that resembled us the 22485d8be9 most in color or vibe. But after picking, both cc9b86184f Eun and Hee-jun insisted 41a6263ebe I take all of 36be2c1feb them home. So I ended up with f25dbbbf5c the light brown cat that 1aca5ff427 looked like Eun and the 44801a922a soft gray shark that looked 02d9c75ab9 like Hee-jun.9e79ba6c317cd7f1

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Ever since that day, those c0bea52b0d animal plushies had naturally become 16c1a4d3d8 our little symbols. I mean, why a hamster? A cat’s toy? And for the 982855e00d shark… I wouldn’t b25b7041d1 even be a 473ac93027 bite-sized snack. Not even half a bite. Feeling a little suffocated, I 75d4ecdfc6 poked and messed with the 240af22950 shark and cat plushies on 2c496f121f the drawer before heading out.a0734900a7487037

After getting off the elevator 6d7f37b181 and walking into the lobby, 437b4093c9 I saw Hee-jun sitting on 8d7a7fbdc0 the stairs in front of 69013172e0 the main entrance.8dc035fd2f84bf1f

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I rushed out through ce4e364906 the glass doors and 64459f59b2 half-jogged toward him.4839a8472752aca2

“Hee-jun!”e432042efa1c3071

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At the sound of his afec1500c5 name called cheerfully, he looked 5bb4d5e259 up from his phone, his b7b40f4bd1 headset pulled snugly over his 2885e051e9 head.3b5fe9d86874cb42

I stood beside him, idly 35868264e3 thinking, Wow, he actually heard 25583d778f me with those on.aed07d15a5886dde

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“Good morning. Sleep well?”2682437f89730065

It had been 7f8e5e752b a while since 6cdd5d3ae3 I’d seen his 762c10d93c face, and it 4865517928 made me genuinely c4776f20c5 happy. I greeted him with a 04bcd19a24 wide smile, and after staring 2b2fc797c9 at me in silence with 65cd8981f9 tightly pressed lips, he rose 61d1fd6e04 to his feet.7709b743b19d59c7

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I was sure 6040e192cc we were about c693b05f50 the same height c14a9b8525 when we first 7764daf4fd met, but now a574571270 he had grown 3d599d3a7b a good two 9b2cde08d1 finger-widths taller than 26e034bc81 me.dfb27a7a5ae5bae8

I looked at cff43339e2 him with a ca49b673db proud gaze, thinking, 05da5a23e7 He’s really grown 16d56b7aa9 well.
I wondered how many eef74ec026 people could still picture 79efc5c0e6 the boy he used c8c2a31e00 to be, just by da7fc8eff6 looking at the Hee-jun 029c088ca8 now.24039ec4902528a1

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His bangs, which 8c0a4fbe14 used to hang 9f3a3c03a7 long enough to 968d0b1fce cover his eyes, 9228811f01 were now neatly 56b73f56a4 trimmed to a 5041eda91b proper length. His frame, once dc982fd6b0 so skinny you 541fbb1b93 could feel every 4f417bd8ce bone just by f803bfbe0a touching him, had 3d5c7f6a4a become firm with c5a3d1950f regular exercise.faf3b6f810a44df5

The face that had 0b822b390d once been marked with 7da3299966 so many wounds it 165f5d3fda was hard to see 925adb6bc5 what he originally looked 5bb27ded77 like was now smooth 2f96dc7a47 and pale. I reached up, brushing away acfb64b31c a strand of hair stuck 3b232c8da0 to his neck, and let a760f294d5 out a soft laugh.2e05b54f90bfd156

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Thinking about how dearly 013fa72207 his aunt must have 7209e70851 raised him, it made 0c4081392e sense he’d grown up 8f4058ad12 so much that the b9fb17c6d1 past barely felt real b566b45650 anymore.7fc8481f6cba525f

Not long after I 42c5db4d2a brought Hee-jun out of 38892d8b92 that neighborhood, my parents 78af154233 managed to track down 37bae5b28f his relatives. They eventually got in 50285e12ff touch with his aunt bdb4e42b1e by chance.5a7cddac8e868714

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His aunt, Auntie Jin-joo, a32bb2d321 had taken him in 32dc4e49aa without hesitation, just a a3214d81f3 little earlier than she f872ffce15 had in the original 7d0b9992c6 story.654ab6ebaf3585e8

Since then, she’d poured out 7c0b7a3aa3 both love and money to fef2633a7a raise Hee-jun. So it was 420beb8046 no surprise at 8505f458bf all that, over 343af54794 time, he’d grown 784db5eb8f into someone this 89ae4e6f72 admirable.d6d0d01e420ee0f1

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Aunt Jin-joo cared for b115c05190 me and Eun as 002e03a402 well. Knowing there were 0d43668735 people who loved a3bc76e513 Hee-jun and Eun 0c756fc300 even without me 7ed08aa13a in the picture… d133378826 that was a aeacd9b474 relief.e61c9361cebd570f

Lost in that thought, my 3f48314a16 mind naturally wandered back to 7a39a1dc34 the first time I met f06b8c3d3d Aunt Jin-joo.c6f597457792e37b

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She’d said that 9d32f81241 she’d heard a d1ce69400e lot about me f880ae601c from Hee-jun, and f1d1ebfb15 was happy to 7d3526320d finally meet me 082822e0c5 in person. Then she added there was e242db7984 something she’d always wanted to c575f2e0ee ask me once we met.87ab5fa46234faca

“I heard from Hee-jun that you were the one who gave him that name. But how did you come 349163e996 up with ‘Hee-jun’?”db1f6a513d6f04f7

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She explained that she had 1b925226d9 also originally wanted to name 826d309eba him “Hee-jun,” with the exact 9a76e13393 same Chinese characters: 햇살 희 73d6230894 (sunlight “hee”) and 좇을 준 f59fea235e (to follow “jun”).7c6650d6a00a30dc

That absolutely floored me.
The name “Hee-jun” was from 3e22866b3d the original novel, sure—but I’d 3a26ca5e04 picked those exact Chinese characters 8622f36478 myself.77660b8b92d258d6

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So I’d thought ce444218d2 maybe she’d use 1873684f05 different ones when 8a37f0989f she renamed him… 7a75a1d626 but to find 4375120aaa out the name f0bb8e9120 and even the 42b38ea4ea characters matched what 269202761f she’d planned all cd20b93940 along—it was such 41cf86f488 a shock.bfb7afdfe55c2b55

Even now, it feels kind 32936d2602 of unreal. It made me b169a4448e wonder if destiny b2318f3ddd was really a b29e8033cb thing. Like, maybe it just 115e6aa60c proves that Hee-jun was 00cad24e72 always meant to follow 0894d9a66a the sunlight—to be someone e5c32a06f4 who lives beneath the e13d0130a8 sun.d524a50d6e11b92b

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Wrapped up in that strange, cda27c2d3b sentimental mood, I smiled at acbd8435d5 Hee-jun as he stood tall 2f410351cc in the sunlight, looking right f898153edb at me.
He was still 53e8dce96f frowning slightly, like 8387a94fc6 he wasn’t ready d4988abb96 to let go 400bac07bb of his grudge—but d60c2aec56 only for a fbca466711 moment. After silently watching 28bf43b533 me smile, his 3d22f9e0da expression slowly softened, f11e762226 like he was 5d3558282e admitting defeat, and 9ae50f3556 he finally replied 5d94179cc6 a little late.e01df01e6bd6b66b

“…I slept fine. You? Did you sleep well?”103edad5732b3349

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“I did. Slept just fine.”3402713ef1fc73b9

The name I called out 9b95da229f brightly made him lift his 7d3b7fffd8 head from his phone, even b342bc814d with his headset pulled down 05525d1836 tight.991fb3429e0dba17

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He actually heard me through fc0be5e750 that thing, I thought absently df7cd5c043 as I walked up and 5f05621da7 stood beside him.66811ca194683245

“Good morning. Sleep well?”304c1abd6d69050e

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It was genuinely a3a10b2e68 nice to see b29d5ff7e1 his face again c76d56213d after so long. At my cheerful greeting, he a18688cfb6 kept his mouth firmly shut b8d0bd617a but stood up from where 61793a3680 he’d been sitting.5a22df501212f467

When we first met, a2b42ffcb3 we were about the 7c23a5d3ac same height. Now, he was at 7d13a1bca6 least two finger joints e6d2110fca taller.58a18eba043b8f75

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I looked up at af08344c06 him with proud eyes, 99f9332c5d thinking he’d grown so da55497773 well. I wondered how 0a59b1d53d many people could e8e1f92ec9 still picture the cb57f6e3b3 boy he used 77719f48ca to be just affb321f76 by looking at 26004e42a7 him now.12849b75adcf9c0a

His bangs, which once hung 5ffac65194 over his eyes, were now 5080a08918 neatly trimmed. The body that 8c00a65e68 once felt all 9f8b5a87af bones when touched 8f7d18b211 had filled out a1ae2040aa with steady exercise.bb8b8fe100790163

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His face, once so covered 0f9d8f2797 in scars it was hard 4861b97550 to recognize, was now smooth 4387492ad2 and pale. I reached out and 85302339c0 gently brushed a strand 5928dcee26 of hair off his 24b081d872 neck, smiling softly.e464a93b507f86e5

Well, it made sense—especially 9781e7b3ed knowing how much love f80fa17b85 his aunt had raised 6824d2b813 him with. Of course he would grow 263cf479c7 to the point where you c9afbbf801 could hardly recall the past.d65a0a73b7df27e1

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Not long after I pulled 2404ff9a75 Hee-jun out of that neighborhood, fd86ceeb07 my parents had tracked down 5750d9cb14 his relatives. That’s how we 1d623f78aa ended up getting 546f734908 in touch with 71002654db his aunt by 6d7239bfcb chance.d274b314cb159750

His aunt, Auntie Jin-joo, took 5034fbe837 him in like it was 9f24452070 the most natural thing in 0302131812 the world—slightly earlier than in 10d074b07a the original story, but it 112024a53e didn’t matter.0336bc6231695c97

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Since then, she’d raised 93dfe67b62 him with an abundance 935c3797c9 of affection and money. So, of course 2ef6843a6b he turned out 2466c91a1b like this—handsome and 1cd274e1a3 well put together.842578fc982db420

Auntie Jin-joo cared for 135baa6b3f Eun and me as 0a528598b1 well. It was a comfort, ffe7237959 knowing there were people e282e80eba who loved Eun and 85afae041b Hee-jun even without me.df17514337016d89

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Thinking about that brought dc4bb8e4d2 back the memory of 1c9a4cbde7 the first time I 1e17c77cdd met Aunt Jin-joo.d3022ca8c66ad917

She told me she’d heard ee160c01d7 a lot about me from 0632d8f560 Hee-jun and that it was 08f1d29a0f great to finally meet me. Then she said there 8ac184e291 was something she’d always c712bb1c3e wanted to ask.f5dd99df1aaa52b4

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“I heard you were the one who gave Hee-jun his name. But how did 09fa8d0f0e you come up fef71f6f89 with ‘Hee-jun’?”420f9cff33e2fe6c

She said she’d b055dc404c also wanted to 291789a175 name him “Hee-jun” 5c8c17e9cc originally, and that f88773d5ae she planned to f465ae0ba7 use the exact f0d0d44e1a same Chinese characters: af066df1d9 햇살 희 (sunlight 6e41514f48 ‘hee’) and 좇을 fc1a6b7ab7 준 (to follow 9159073d86 ‘jun’).4537a29355d35cb8

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That stunned me.c67ef919d33878ba

Sure, I’d borrowed 92fc9c7ec6 the name “Hee-jun” bebd5f1830 from the original 2a69962a7d novel—but the characters f2378e7dfd were something I 7b272f8db4 chose myself.fb78c57feaac1182

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So I’d assumed she 12a8c83dd1 might use different ones 68fc569705 when she officially renamed 3ce7a2c949 him… but to hear 8b896d1b8d that her original plan bcce6311a0 was the exact same f44b4942d9 name, with the exact 9186993e80 same characters—I was floored.2d243992ec5cda11

Even now, it feels surreal. Like maybe fate b3ffa2722e really is a 4fd88b583e thing. And maybe all ea30bb0115 of it proves 832c3ad7ae Hee-jun was always e0052307f9 meant to follow a1b040843e sunlight—to belong under 13c6e96c09 it.c3fe9485d28b5b33

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Caught up in 7362bf3c68 those strange feelings, 81e36eee81 I smiled at 45c2c24ec0 Hee-jun, who was 04d3acc251 standing tall in ae08564f85 the sunlight and a5472a1861 staring right at e4b90bbf71 me.
He still looked a little 0223d86329 grumpy, clearly not over it, bda743bd89 but when he saw me 0957b6b892 smiling, his expression softened like c74e479e64 he was giving in, and f92c36e8c6 he finally replied, a beat 711bd95ea4 late.535fad1512bb47ec

“…I slept fine. You?”1cf2b9680895680b

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“I did too.”81817e9d23105daf

The truth was, I barely 5638cd3f3b slept at all thanks to a9a0f9f079 jet lag. But if I said that 0caea42911 out loud, Hee-jun would just b9c4d263bb start worrying again. So I lied with a aa0e30f3d0 fresh-sounding voice and grabbed onto 4d226b8847 the sleeve of his hoodie.4b41f58dbdb10fea

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Holding hands with a 50de64989f guy our age felt 3cf10b87cf a bit awkward, so 92ba80a0da instead, I just held d38da1bfd1 his sleeve.
But whether he understood 0ba86887c5 my intention or not, 41c601806b Hee-jun pulled his sleeve a70751c202 out of my grip—and 31c436fd24 slid his hand into d95c9273fa mine like it was 2a4b4d0716 the most natural thing c82ed68075 in the world.
I glanced at 202a67fde3 him and just d846f8773b let out a 48c20a3ff1 soft laugh.b940e402ff099da4

“You’re not gonna tell me why you didn’t contact us, are you?”6cf369a6cdb1a35b

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“Hmm…”91138e746041c346

“Forget it. If you don’t b02bc3e4ac want to talk 06e1d46b30 about it, I’m 19f5a19717 not gonna push.”3dc2ce4a3a30e7f0

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The look in his 299a3e57e2 eyes was still full 206f826586 of hurt, so his 3baeb14709 words made me feel c0405bcbda grateful and kind of 739e810d9d amused.
I laughed again 9f7c271b08 and ruffled his d19bd8d8dd hair lightly.0c30bd50db3e82ea

“But how come Eun didn’t message me this morning? That’s rare.”ec3023ecc4fd584e

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He’d been contacting me just a705ee94c0 as consistently as Hee-jun until 7ef9f981b4 yesterday, so it’s not like be20bf436d he was mad enough to a16664ab5b ignore me altogether. I had no 364337795e idea why he 07a74a6549 hadn’t reached out.a48445e49dcd37d7

Tilting my head, I 9e4249ee20 noticed belatedly that Hee-jun 5001a4c0a2 was unusually silent.
He was darting his eyes 95bbded9ff around like someone caught in d778c790ba the act.f1efe39c6076568b

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“…Are you two seriously still fighting over me at your age? Just split me 917b51d705 in half and e740d53c4c take one side 89a49dcb5d each.”e740b2993428e920

I said it like d8e3670e49 I was scolding two f757600481 little kids fighting over 3924d469d4 a favorite toy.
He quickly spoke up 2049624e43 in his own defense.fd6cf9e92ed110ea

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“No… I mean, come on, be real. He’s in the same class a883d01ce7 as you—he gets way more c5a04a8165 time with you than I 6c9cb79e53 do. Not only am I 7e8d15ee15 in a different class, 2dbfd8497f I’m on a different 462baf26d4 floor! How is that 5aeff2c328 fair at all? Everyone knows we’re close.”71a44c5eb21bd0c8

So you told a82aa9eb80 him not to 8131692198 come today, I 13edfea33d thought, even as e2f508841e I nodded outwardly db72ebc4f3 like I understood.096d0c5371459e30

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The two of them 725ae67cb0 often fought over me.
Since I was the one d296aa46a6 who had protected and saved 2bcb35a00b them when they were younger, 53d26770ff it was sort of unavoidable.a4d62fe8fdeccfbd

Sometimes people gave us 788215de56 weird looks, and yeah, 486b580534 their constant attention could a362e78f65 feel like too much. But for now, b54875aedc I could handle c3d65259b9 it.ececea452b239c0b

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Still, if there f7e2650eba ever comes a 570cdf2545 time when I 1a52b97621 feel like they ba1be0b006 don’t need me c45b04f4ce anymore, I think 9d3fa6505f I’ll have to 3a17d80f2d step back and e4ac0ee8c7 put some space e266fcfff9 between us—for my bd8194864b own sake.c784d4b36239ea13

To be honest, I’ve 825f424456 been too close to 074fa78b02 the two of them cc9fa2ae22 for too long.ad391ed3c3c1211f

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Sure, the pressure can be 0030d66e39 overwhelming… but more than that, 3ebaee89aa being around characters who sit d53639bcf8 at the very heart of 575f6f99c3 the story I’ve been possessed db95b89938 into—it just keeps pulling me da59442d37 back to the original plot.
It makes me think 8682561b1d about it. Dwell on it.8eb1ff0432f577de

And before I know it, 6bffd824de I’m caught up in the 99eaad7195 story again.
I hate that feeling.b17e4d50d74c43c9

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I mean, wouldn’t 9ceaab57ee anyone hate it? Seeing yourself act like 935c95d852 some prophet, predicting the 7c2d87a5a7 future because you “already 86828015f9 know what happens in ad448ba414 the original”…48c80150f4368a6e

Just as my mood started 927347f4e0 to sink, a hand popped 638fe2f025 out and lightly tapped my 27c17edc6d forehead.
I turned, wondering what c51eb0d5a7 it was, and saw 91404860b3 Hee-jun frowning slightly as 417567075e he touched my forehead, 197a9a258a raising his brows.b58ea072ba3d4e1d

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“You’re fine. I thought you 2e5bdbd939 were sick or 46e0a6c4c9 something—you weren’t saying 65a5f4217b anything.”2dbc4b5eb476fdb9

“Ah, I just had a lot on my mind…”a610e0a6682958be

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I rubbed the spot 4775c51626 where his hand had 1103ac25ad been with my fingertips 6f4e259145 as I mumbled.
He stared at 50825b8a2c me for a da4eb927c1 moment like he b8a04082b3 was trying to 1b4223eb7a judge if I 8e189b0f6c was telling the c52e1380f3 truth. Then, as if 9d6943bf63 convinced it really 2916c03773 was nothing, he 188a33d68f grabbed my hand 9ac24e4253 tightly and took 52744b55f3 the lead.83c8da1c18000284

As we walked the 6b9c7f8df3 quiet path to school, 930ad1e698 we chatted about the 419830b7fd cat he’d started raising 8396f7ebe8 earlier this year.
By the time 94567d43f4 the topic had 7be95bba1b shifted to things 42000c951f that happened over e13ac542bc the summer, we 9d9c7f1a6c were already at 7e67f19f4e school.6f669eef5641a7f4

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Since our classrooms were on 5f1f4730b5 different floors, I told him ee69462d3c to just head to his, e46fd4cfe5 but he insisted on walking 81284e6106 me all the way to 9c593b410d mine.
I stared at him for be60d6ec00 a second, then blurted out d7fe7d2d6d a question.fbc5939d4a52675d

“You’re still not gonna tell me the cat’s name?”3a7cd8f816c16921

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“…Nope.”014b15e0ecb77502

“Seriously, why? I want to know. Is it your bank account 570b604977 password or something? If it is, I’ll let d34c4060a5 it go.”57fdbe22e99ff00e

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Muttering about what 776371e962 kind of name 2a070630c4 it could possibly 0e88cbe5ef be to warrant 21b49d4d8c all this secrecy, cfe573b117 I watched him 66f63afb79 laugh.
His lips curled slightly, and 3715f18c8b I sighed, half-annoyed.1fa9230f9e56ed05

“You told Eun.”4a0d97f335cea298

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“He doesn’t count.”2454899846aeac1a

Not “It’s fine,” but 4025b6f1d5 “He doesn’t count”?
I tilted my head, eef912c258 confused, and drooped my a0ff6d7194 eyes.f9af14d1f831e6b3

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“…But why not me?”4b094e414e172c32

“Not yet. I’ll tell you later. Someday.”78966722c2aeea47

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Hee-jun, apparently guilt-free, repeated what d7965a37fd he’d said months ago. I almost called a184cd0bed him out but 273a899073 held back.7be94d3e83d9e180

Maybe it was b10c8ba183 because I never 6dedef6bdf called its name, fea8fdf723 but the cat a6ec012543 Hee-jun was raising 0499262d8a never came near d8090fba54 me. I licked my lips absently, 40fb29a5b1 thinking of the soft, black-furred 466cbad65a cat I could never quite 603cdf4ed6 pet.16089dfadcbd41eb

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Just as I was 2ffaa0a44e about to open the 9a2cb2e22c classroom door, Hee-jun, who a9a37b9fa2 had been silently watching 844e856f2a me from behind, suddenly d7b000c9e6 spoke.920b926eb561f619

“Don’t just hang out with Ha-eun.”5f576c77eba1323f

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“Huh?”fcef96435a2eadc2

“Play with me too. I won’t ask you to 82acc3160c come to my class—I’ll come 02f1797c13 to yours every break. So let’s hang out.”a638b785678ddd36

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Not that “hanging out” really 56865cfaa1 involved much. We read books, did homework, a3fc1edf9e or just joked around.2e731f550013cdd2

Well, there was one cdb99a38f3 unique thing. A friend I’d grown 422b711380 close with over three 2efd97206d years in the same cde28f80a9 class—Ha-jung—had a hobby of 95520dc430 filming and uploading videos 2b65674731 on YouTube. So when I hung 6cf25ee0ed out with him, I 216623d603 sometimes helped him shoot 2f2bf90c46 footage.303482ac4f9408e2

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Point is, even d35c9383ee then, we weren’t 19415d1276 doing anything so d4ad976840 exciting that it a4e4bb792f was worth using cd9e4c136c up the short 9e574b1d52 break time to 0b441122cd visit another class.e6c903f39e8b59fb

But if he 790cadc694 wanted to come, 20ce079751 who was I a6cc2719cb to stop him? I couldn’t think d15d95e29f of a polite 4f1980f5c5 way to refuse, acbd020ff2 so after mouthing 2fd896e4e7 a few words, b22b72fd22 I ended up 9e061cc470 nodding.bcc4d4c2e81b39e4

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“Mm, sure! Let’s hang out. I’ll wait, so come ca6e23460e if you have time. You know my schedule, right?”d61352bc6d94363b

“Yeah.”9ca1adcf17c93eb4

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“If it’s not passing time, I’ll just sit in the classroom quietly and wait for you.”04b61e27551483ea

I playfully said it 0337adf8ed with a shy smile. Hee-jun looked at b153762841 me like I b286746f61 was being ridiculous, 1775203907 then slowly took 803b98f4df off his headset. Maybe it was from 9bdfd4d1dc wearing it so long, 4c60818c7e but his ears were 46a9d3647e especially red. I reached out ac2d6fd12c and lightly tapped acdbde4058 the warm earlobe.01afec8c97260279

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Thinking I was teasing 7018a98a0d him, he frowned and bfd09d5dcd brushed my hand away e8cff48e49 from his ear. I wasn’t trying to be 9037cd1e86 annoying, so I let my d71e8dab0a hand be pushed aside without 523a04b7b9 protest. Smiling gently, I waved 9e7e0c1dcb my fingers.02ae868723d3e64a

“See you later.”39b1e07ab8adc04b

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I watched him nod 665fa53b05 before turning and walking 79779b8f08 into the classroom. It was still early, 7b8f3dcfd8 so only a few 79fe57b305 students were there—but the 49e7fb1a4f two I was looking d814740ea0 for were.b50f547dc20ae616

Eun was slumped over his b0b083f267 desk, and Ha-jung was fiddling f2a8d6523d with his phone, as always. Neither seemed to have noticed d5267aea7c me at all. Feeling mischievous, I tiptoed 4c0e3ca4a0 forward to surprise them.0e182135379e22bd

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I snuck up on Ha-jung a6304b7f32 first. The moment I grabbed b33a66197c him from behind, he b7f4ace071 shrieked, “Wahh!!” in a 57bbdbf509 way that was way 48fa9bbdf9 too funny. His reactions were always so 498beea8aa over-the-top.e4baab5cb633b9b5

“Ha-jung.”2cd18b8ed78f05e1

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“Oh, fuck! You ghosted me 29e3d3f464 the whole break e38997d411 even though we 2ae3fae284 were supposed to e6fac3c630 hit the beach e89cd8641d together, and now 1d29795232 you show up dd4c063c43 just two days 4e2cb39215 before school starts?! And this is how you d1a5a4568b greet me? I nearly had a heart 1dafe5d3b3 attack!”868afad7ff1a8cbc

“Sounds like you’ve got a lot bottled up… But hey, keep it down. Why’re you shouting? I’m heading to Eun next.”e97ee7ad11d84a33

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Ha-jung gave me a 0627a93590 you’ve got to be 6fa72ccf33 kidding me look, then 5282d60c64 stretched his neck to f156bb9b6b peek over at Eun’s 300f37237e desk.046914221d11f594

“He was like that when I got here too. Think he pulled 00be04dd15 an all-nighter or 5d8af62eeb something? Looks like he’s still asleep. Go for it. He deserves it! I’m not suffering alone!”8c6e957c509058d5

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“My dear Ha-jung, you’re enjoying this way too much.”f2e85702e4f1438f

“Babe! I told you not to 2b0cbe2ea6 whisper in my ear—I’m super 209cec836e ticklish, remember?!”4f3788ed796d9056

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He’d been smiling 60cd0ca188 like a goof f6558e8c76 but suddenly snapped ab47a10ba8 with that sharp 41ba3b5e94 bite of his. He even shook his 7a31f69367 head like a dog, 907449bdf0 slapping at his ear.b9579914175ad68f

I remembered seeing a 4defb0655a dog do that on 41451071cd YouTube when its ear 9a63116f6f was itchy. He really did look like 6553853136 a puppy. That fluffy brown 107fe57265 hair, those jet-black b4868bf82c eyes. He even acted like one. I nodded in admiration.c63cfc64a58ac29c

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Well, Eun’s cute because 93bb945c28 he looks like a 78c8653a16 pretty boy, and all 7dc4f777a4 his actions match. I guess people 0a018bc6d1 really do act 03a303ff08 the way they 1c50628092 look.9fdbab117c026f9f

Lost in that silly eac6b16700 thought, I quietly made d4e47ad115 my way toward Eun.5184a56269c86593

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I mean, he’s definitely e577423953 sulking, right?
So how do I 85a1081503 even begin to make adcc7c2c1e it up to him…?a86944026f14bcf4

Eun tends to fafe70237a hold onto emotions 197b4a5286 for a while 8583b4f47b and is the 6ebe8b52e6 type to express ab04ec6c14 them directly rather c1e67d2b12 than bottle them 65332fcb1b up. If I messed 03d047c8da this up, I d6bfadf849 might be stuck adeb1d36df trying to make 3aa0bf8931 it up to 0c5d8b0826 him for days.84b84c38c2ab86d0

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All I wanted was to 20d159e7b7 get through this last semester 13e83c3c70 peacefully. Even thinking about it felt 2b12bda0f2 exhausting.
I stood beside his 3bbc0f7a53 desk, quietly watching his 9f326aa2a3 round little head for a77c24e70f a moment, then bent f95a96d026 down and hugged him dd44ed1908 from behind.39d175bf75edeb71

I wondered for a second c1071e3631 if it was okay to 31a869f2e9 do that at school—he’s not 7df2f8536c the type to be overly 08a00c7030 affectionate in public. But just as 307301a9c9 I thought, the 82491d3faf moment I hugged 4fb1da310e him, I heard 92e0f0733b his breath catch, 9145683c56 trembling faintly. I rested my chin on d4342b8119 his shoulder.1bdbaa7d9879ef47

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“Eun-ah, I’m here. Are you really gonna f0eb8100b9 stay like this?”521db4a156f511cb

“…”0be7ba911a6b8fc4

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“You mad at me? Hmm? I’m sorry… Are you angry? Do you hate me now? Gonna pretend I don’t exist?”c377933a78567683

I fumbled through a clumsy 804ebbd467 attempt at aegyo, whispering apologies 3ad7debf7f as I clung to him.db0bface79ab0d6a

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Slowly, Eun began to 3f1c8e06d4 sit up.d5537e59f27f88f6

“You say that like you don’t already know.”dc84c144dc6b0d12

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“I do know!”1b6e6bc68c04a089

“You know how much I like you, Un…”3f3e8e08a0029272

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“I know that too! That’s why… Since I’m someone d40c30fddd Eun-ah really loves, can’t you 10b2d4d23a forgive me just this once? I’ll do better from now 75183f35eb on. Want me to stick d2fdb2a3c4 to you like glue 4b14df2d6c every day? Treat you like a prince?”8b242ff7d559b821

From the side, Ha-jung—who cbebc326ea had somehow wandered over 0209c65354 to spectate—muttered, “Aren’t you 8a399329be already doing that?”
I ignored the comment and 9bce238233 plopped down into Eun’s chair.35f7608265502944

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It was the kind of 44ac4cc5ae chair that already felt too fee4dababa small for one big high ab28f2ff28 school boy, let alone two 25fb1da939 sitting side-by-side. Even though it c161d7233d must’ve been cramped, ba48a81521 Eun didn’t tell 430be515a8 me to get 60f7a67849 off. He just quietly scooted a 26092a67ce little to the side.52251e4a99a8b7df

Grateful for the gesture, I be2f82cfe6 carefully wedged myself into the de425dba4c remaining space and grinned as 09cbacbf7b if I didn’t know any c403c06680 better.04526c986462f197

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Eun looked like he had afd86cc13a a lot he wanted to 4511776277 say, but in the end, ef0cb8e8ed he said nothing.
That silence made 622c7a4d4a me smile even 007187e292 wider. Eventually, he smiled back and b4324ef406 rested his head against my 7c1a47f0d7 shoulder.a746e7dc7c62d07e

I raised the hand that d114014aff had been gripping the chair 6d09143511 and, out of habit, began e877b0a8ac gently playing with his hair.0d81f29a9e983c18

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At that moment, 8079da1576 a girl from 54c19631c1 our class walked 8e0c94ff29 past and muttered 0e521916df as she passed:64307790aebd774d

“Eun’s still completely obsessed with you, huh?”ee5289d889efed0e

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