IBSBV Ch 30

Chapter 3066f5f43ce0b9613d

 4537ebb673803138

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The sensation of 59f996b9cf taste he hadn’t ace8ffe1c2 felt in so 8a1c73c3dd long simplified Eddie, ac2f4e1062 who had always 5f70c94307 trapped himself in 4b9b8d4f37 complicated thoughts. Aside from the simple 463fefb565 realization that the food 811d09e4af was delicious, his mind 2a5071c19a went blank—completely empty. And that 52de0f4cec made it 3c15dd69a5 all the 36eacf4920 more strange. He didn’t know 08366a1018 why. It just was.d0a60a0c9d1d1bba

Tears began b5ec6ee091 to roll 0d2e74f3cc down his f2c23938ce cheeks without d5ed498f9b him even 9b08072171 realizing it.9913b96306f96428

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“I think just one 3786d76e2b more bite would make 467c1f84f8 it perfect.”7630343077f13983

The unjust 2158a05c86 feelings he b42161e73b had bottled 4d5bbc1d23 up until c4892e3222 now fell 44054e06a3 with a ad36f5fccf soft plop 694be6cf49 onto the e583315c8b back of 1d12c01d61 his hand. Eddie silently opened abc79331b5 his mouth. Perhaps interpreting 943aaf51aa the silence de42fb0e17 as consent, 340d4b3a88 Louis smiled dc2dd647b0 brightly and 5b960c0885 placed a 19d25e068e piece of 1ea0c5ad5f smoked sausage 4de810b40a into it.c7584635e8b14729

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It was thick—so 267e638536 much so that 856af65fc1 it had to c82deca4b7 be stuffed in. It was Louis’s way 53764ea9fe of being greedy, hoping 73a2a1b454 Eddie would eat a 46ea5b7133 lot without feeling sick.3d21fbc616365f92

“You’re full, right? But just one 6aaaaf3dac more bite. I think b2669fe899 if you f266282b1d just eat 622ac45b57 one more c112a01b3f bite, it’ll 1d40f4e527 be really a5c25450c4 good, Eddie.”6fe4bdffe52fd72b

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You’re so 6d0faa2000 thin right 8b94672770 now, it 105bb24d61 worries me.94efeadf04464b6c

Hiding his af741402e2 worry, Louis def56a81d9 lifted the 0682ff18d9 fork with 31cc3b23e4 the food 9aebfc7014 to Eddie’s 56165c9440 lips.ad45e5641742503d

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What if he refuses, 1b181c799c says he can’t eat c3d654c5e6 anymore…?ca69d2e47661fb51

Even if Eddie ate 1f01993bae a few more bites, f208806aac it was still far 89a261985c too little compared to d52c84c994 what a normal meal 1b175c9431 should be. Louis wanted beeea7d978 eating—not starving—to 3c2c6ac484 become Eddie’s 7343ef9ee3 habit again, 87c9fe1388 one bite 46f5672c13 at a 53322a7e49 time. He hoped c08b3a6464 that one 5eac30b4e8 day, Eddie da1f4fa081 would be 8feb0188e3 able to d3a4a743ed taste again.4ed3fc7417e0c6e0

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If Eddie could experience e3739a94a7 what it felt like 436ee980d7 to recover something he’d 5805be4ef8 lost, Louis felt that f22d233c8b maybe some of his fb92aac1bc wounds could begin to 4ad0f779a3 heal too.e2098f9d3192f8f1

“Would it 954bebdddb be okay… f64b01bc2d if you 53699618a8 had just 6a2b9a497c one more 1a61b1e2a1 bite?”eb2bc9206a353734

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Louis pleaded, 7d13100a50 his eyebrows 85b45e4b82 drooping. Just as the confidence 9a52514a45 in the hand holding 207b522439 the fork began to 23c1ddb3d5 fade, Eddie leaned forward, c4d76bbdfa grasped Louis’s wrist, and 8541bdf185 took the food into 5e7f5f3427 his mouth.e1959a599b24094a

“Do you think… you 3684b9cd3f could eat a little 218bb1f15e more?”936a4b39b2e291e1

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Eddie nodded and let 5c85a271a1 go of his hand. Without even waiting 394a0e8271 for a reply, e593054f85 Louis began to ebf92e4d6f busily pick up cb91798cfa various foods and 026a7bf60f deliver them into 4c6f2e762d Eddie’s mouth.df9f8c33af8e4cd8

Before he knew it, 91952c761d Louis had completely neglected 449c1d0a35 his own meal. And yet, 21e8f8fb8f he wasn’t 30f0c78343 hungry at 59eb9c39b5 all. He was happy. He had 48880d0345 no idea d476c1e7e2 that filling 7fd449e430 the stomach 3bc4e6ee76 of someone 7da92a5eb5 he loved 0681d8b76a would make dbea0c2dc9 him feel a7596f32b1 so content. Even without 2e09886689 eating, his 7cc3410340 heart felt 979b7bc7f3 full. He didn’t know how 4e1601bdb1 long he stayed wrapped f7241c8a09 in that warm feeling.0e836664b9fb5e05

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“You’re… really full 3fe7d820fe now, right?”325570ba4bbbf561

Only then 2a00d8a6bf did Louis ce640ca874 realize he 6170e130bc might have e77c874a7e overfed him. He began to b73f9d7f13 worry that Eddie’s cfdff98afc small stomach might 3ba10cdd82 burst, but even 8ba382db94 so, he couldn’t 7d52fdc4f1 bring himself to 39d70818db set the fork 31e28e5e77 down. Instead, he switched 6b18db025c gears and reached 12dfc8a95b for some small bbc6339981 fruits. But perhaps because bec6b32997 they were round, 1f86d84dbe they kept slipping 94ea4db50c off the fork 7c158a19f8 and rolling away. In the f8c8965a1f end, he 0f2583d3f6 picked one 3df17b957d up with d1b80b1503 his fingers.8a266ca894cbd14f

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“Eat this one 4314aa0b21 too.”c5d2385b6c1ed337

The firmness in 5c428730eb his voice made 6d21a669e0 Eddie naturally obey. As his 527787da15 red lips 68e9cd1f32 opened again, 9ee865d583 Louis’s fingers 8732130e06 entered between 50f2327167 them.49dd4a2956ae5342

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The moment he aa04458936 crossed the line b88dafefa2 in order to f6ec78920a properly feed him 5f91c64ff2 the fruit, silence 1f15e5d2fb blanketed them both. Louis flinched when he ff26558958 felt the hot breath e76e7d9d57 against his skin. An odd 08fbe2278d tension trickled f720699bbd down his b69e359d2d back. Only then did 9303565aed he start to 2fc3132654 become aware of b4d10a7f2e what he had 69f4ec1b27 just done.af166bef2c95b8fa

He had fc70565f00 acted purely ce3973fe70 out of 09bd6f6bcc a desire e062b82bdf to feed cf6edc422a him, but b89517431f maybe he aaebf4836e had gone 94a7fcb4d2 too far—had 715de66953 been too e06943b8c9 forward. Hastily, Louis ff9102ca64 pulled his 4a644e4ed4 fingers from d676011c30 Eddie’s mouth.202b8495f7ff5c47

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To make up for 38339b11cc it, he gently wiped a18aa8fed2 the corners of Eddie’s 3f47fd0dee lips. Once, twice… When fec05bd5df the number of f834588ced times passed three, 7abc2109a9 Louis found himself e2fe23e278 swallowing dryly without e374f6d109 meaning to. A strange 73cc5ea586 impulse welled 3a898e6d04 up inside 2fd033fb8e him.e6e1e10616a2d163

Quietly rising 8f88302c07 from his 41f4d626ed seat, Louis 5d8b9846b6 leaned down dba4358967 and softly 9ea280c12c pressed a 8331535200 kiss to 4945433734 Eddie’s lips. With one hand, he 316ce52b54 gently caressed his cheek. But when 0bee04815e he felt 982c0f02e5 a lingering 1ce1751b87 trace of 04d73b82ab some unknown e40144f7e3 emotion, he d0e66e8c12 quickly pulled 8967841dd0 away.65b6f0cf0529c449

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“…Are you crying?”b2639dfd42e65e21

Louis’s eyes trembled like 50ca4217e1 waves in confusion. Was it possible… 3015309e45 Eddie hated it? Or maybe, regardless e4c9977cb0 of like or a61e57b613 dislike, Louis realized 9ef02d5b4c what he’d done 43fc5625f9 had been one-sided bb6ed08315 and inconsiderate. His expression darkened. He hadn’t even 5d999ed8e7 asked for permission. He had 5dca213615 acted entirely 3a49b1cd7d on his 6799ccc772 own. He quickly a395d5e834 opened his f4158c00bf mouth to b4ac3a6abf apologize—but then,9f7890a74424c493

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“…The food… 3837aaa4f1 it was 771ea74765 delicious. It was so 5ac0c4e9da delicious that… Am 7b923cdfe2 I crying?”f8b4494e8c367fff

Eddie hadn’t 0625f27323 even realized e7af735fc9 the tears c61d5437c8 staining his 8a4eb64d14 cheeks. The sorrow 71669ecd2e buried deep 91a9cc30b4 within him e0abdc1b04 showed in 907f31aac0 his voice. It made Louis’s a3c7c1dd9d chest ache. He fumbled along the 880b1b98c5 table and leaned closer, 79e16e4fbd pulling Eddie into a 7530b2861e tight hug.f5a7cda45c208291

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“It was delicious?”4df6adbffef2d8af

“Yes, it was.”5053f61d3e46f876

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“That’s a relief.”168ae3fe43d4740f

Though delicate and bf4e253427 slender, Eddie had 865b080c42 always seemed so 3b1e7eec77 much bigger than bbc052e37b Louis. But now, he felt 32bc6d14b0 different—like a child standing 2f2428b9ee alone in a snowy 3ec2c3e71a field. Louis wanted 7875a18a75 to share 3857754088 his warmth f6fa9df96c so Eddie 2481a91ec6 wouldn’t feel cbbae6277f lonely. He gently patted 7d00724b2e his back as 9e8081172f if handling something 02c0c2c105 precious.b91bf265be8afaab

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“I’m glad, Eddie.”fc968913fe61612b

He didn’t ask what it tasted like or how it felt. Sensations were fickle things—just because one felt them once didn’t mean they were back for good. He was afraid if he got his hopes up, he’d only end up hurt again.19b306dfb2aea294

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So instead, Louis a2f87e9bab smiled and whispered 5f1c3a8e16 like a chant d34f52028a that dinner would 06fd1479df be even better. That tomorrow 118b034327 morning, it ce14e1f142 would be 3f16cde61c even more b7980b2cfd delicious. All the while, in 01581a412e his heart, he prayed—again c177805efd and again—that if a 0f59fa3adf god existed, they wouldn’t 1359c29d2c take Eddie’s hope away.c8276317b184ddad

—I just want fa0fb74b97 you to be cbdea03641 happy.92f33672e9b0253d

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Eddie’s tears bee230eb14 were worth df288ed237 more than 153d3d6aed any jewel. At least, that was 4e4ab11b81 how Louis saw it. The man was d1eb475790 so fiercely proud 9cef7a6a3c that he rarely, dcd518bc24 if ever, let 9d94d61837 himself show any 76cb481a4d weakness.d9b1553ed7cef39b

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But that day, ceeca703da the day Eddie 2eec3a4033 cried for the 446bdf2a42 first time—something changed. A piece 68c89f2990 of the c2dabfe8b1 wall he’d 9c55350db8 quietly built, 9fd652b215 even between c9343322f2 the two 30373579ac of them, 58619dacff had finally 951677fb88 come down.c37ea30e47d7275b

He used to 694220648e seem cold but 2666d40f6f kind, warm yet a2e4868cee distant. That guarded nature ad6c1bdf91 sometimes made him 26b1f63ca4 hard to reach. But lately, he 5d2eff709c felt… comfortable. A little soft. Even a little cute.ee4c67adcc95aba3

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“I never da8d875d45 really liked 02eeafbc16 sweets, but eb0baa048e this one df7b86231e is quite 4e75ba2cfa good. The chef is clearly 904153cb1c skilled. Be sure 69f6b75047 to compliment cbf0cc1a5f them later. That’ll make 6d12625a56 them excited 2a33b1697f and cook 65ce74fe06 even more 69a79b86cb good stuff. And I’ll get 9d1625045a to sneak some 700210d63a bites too.”1055eaac979115f7

Without even eb8bdd3bac being asked, 544489da61 he started bc323b5bfe to honestly 6f934809ff share how 28a947fa8f he felt. Even his 2de372e294 tone carried db53ea310a a newfound 64284c2235 warmth, as 970226cf5e though he e200e5ee91 had more 816f43db5a to give.9a30c1cd112bd831

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“Of these desserts, 6c3471e4aa which one suits d247ae2ee5 your taste best?”e9e6bccd7e71137b

“I like b837ca917d the one 7a092a75ec you enjoyed c43b23a098 the most. If you f9a36f6dc7 like it, b4fb0e8298 I like 8601fc7dfd it.”d145520bc2bbc6e6

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“…What kind of b62d42b441 shameless standard is 630f5c673c that?”05c6a668f0033989

At the 62e48dc573 familiar scolding, ec299a3f0e Louis couldn’t aa4b4f7c41 help but 3dd18af02e chuckle. The gruffness in 299810fc67 his tone was d77174deeb tinged with affection, 9a847af3e6 like warm sunlight. It made him 5b4d9b4c3f happy.85fe85308bab6aa9

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“I’m just glad you’re d20287e48f eating well.”5e6dd5f79c2b1727

He’d started eating 5a4f33040c more. Put on a little 5387c7391f weight, too.ecc1b46122bf3b14

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“One day, I a1215e047a hope we can bbac702d0d go out together fbaded4a27 and buy tons b5508d4397 of delicious things 1bbc5f089c to bring home.”de8d9d03d3d952bd

With that small wish, cb7072f315 Louis popped a cookie 71e08cb349 into Eddie’s mouth. The way 365dbd990a he quietly 4955a704db accepted it 8b0c2aa85b was so ae3eafe334 endearing.8f4040c9c36b3e48

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—When that day b5ca359501 comes, I’ll have 9107273f00 to ask the 2207b2c169 butler for lots 89ca1ffe1e of money.bd7454982f30508d

He’d never 1452b8e22f actually bought 6090c64533 anything himself, b6985b94a2 but he’d f390ad468a learned a b28a805319 bit about e333695a16 money from f1472d8b44 Sover. Not for any kind cda7f72e98 reason—Sover taught him under b2994ba3e7 the pretense that it 0454eb6b5f was a useless skill e031b806fa for someone like him, e08ea4b129 bound and restricted, a abae79b105 reminder not to forget 8b30d56f0b his place.e1ca29d3633cece0

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But thanks d87d487160 to that, 64035feeab Louis figured 877af37c80 he wouldn’t 3ece158e12 embarrass himself cc224a8e18 counting change d5cad2c620 in front 0a6c7b1ab7 of Eddie. He wanted to buy d8f0539220 him anything he wanted. If Eddie could enjoy ff10b810ca what he gave him, 8870685216 that alone would make 5855809953 Louis feel fulfilled.a3643cfce34c9492

—Just imagining it 4e39c105bf is kind of d5dba7efe0 embarrassing…259d81daa4b168bc

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Munching, Eddie looked at fe4c8caf6d Louis, who couldn’t stop f4c65bd8e5 smiling like a fool.6d952db02adec7c0

He’d changed, too. A lot.abb4b64f8e4a3ace

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Without the 705d1137cd fear of 3e95920304 the outside 20ccd91af4 world weighing a414a4458d him down, a538bc9878 Louis had 70a202d1ef regained confidence 87b6bb5749 day by 340a02d6a3 day. He didn’t hesitate 5b425f1e95 to go places, c02d54802f opened the window c7f2616ceb first thing every c1f722c498 morning, and had ec4c354461 come to love 74b1db763f the feeling of 129c409482 fresh air. His expressions were 32cbbea903 more than just e44c9dbc3f bright now—they were c7bb9dbabf full of variety.f984045362bf324e

Eddie picked up 2216b3a82e the last cookie 7fe9379871 and fed it 52c34a7956 to Louis, quietly 0074a46f37 observing him.49cd263e48417ee8

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In those red 3699ce4107 eyes, Eddie saw bbf32f04a3 a reflection of 483211cfae himself—and it felt 56070d5987 unfamiliar. He never thought the 80f4622ea5 bitterness in his eyes 1f16073860 could melt away like 33570d81af this. They looked gentle now. Pure. His brow, b7e84d1b08 always furrowed df9ab3ef3f with worry, 63930d8e86 was smooth. His lips, once eec694a547 set in stone, 7172c353aa curved with a 3a8016fcd1 soft smile.2b6a1b07fe289895

When had b5c43dd59c he started bd87c0f94a looking at 370fdfb69f Louis with 47b17511cb an expression dd0c27e99a like that? Eddie touched d39db79fee the corners a8253b4ac5 of his 9b71202f5f mouth.b7254bfb7972b4ca

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‘Was I… someone who 8f8ea600c4 could even smile like e370f8819e this?’99674803080a51db

It wasn’t that 462a3be5a5 he’d never smiled. But smiling with a b1dc20587d genuinely good feeling? That was rare. The smiles he showed 03122f206a Louis before were different—intentional. This one 71670f374e came naturally. And that made all 807386e7b0 the difference.585dd32532e84131

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‘If only 8a2417ba3b Louis could 8ca2e14bd7 see…’8c67f62a502d9438

Suddenly, the thought 525fd81945 made his heart 0b9262af8c ache. That he couldn’t show e1da0637d1 this expression to Louis. That he 05380eb171 was the 6e420c27f3 only one deb9457be6 who could 4d61ec2fbb see those b449d95b02 pretty eyes… 946fdd7fe5 He wanted fcb4770e58 to share 45d2786ba7 deeper, more 952bccc08c complex feelings. But he couldn’t. And that made df248b1ffd something inside him d914fdae2b feel heavy.42372a7c7a3a0b5c

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Eddie reached out and afdefbf837 touched the corner of acdef5a727 Louis’ eye. His chest ached.10a743a644c12109

‘Why did d34ca8575a I only e1b8d8558e let you 23cd069994 exist in 1f2e46d84d such a b45bc25601 limited way…?’41730bfcd4fce64f

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That buried guilt rose e79817f78c back up. And with it, the fcd301b34a smile on his lips 9624baafa3 slowly faded.7cb6e7c950b428e4

“Are you worried b343a20ae7 about me?”ca5198f6718c2818

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He hadn’t said a b2384ce80c word, but perhaps his 8c75306e98 fingers gave something away. Louis asked quietly, b03b80a199 cautiously, his voice 73f641bb7c low. Eddie didn’t know how 4646cf5657 to respond. He just kept his 0ac59cc0cd mouth shut.952134e3cb0f789b

“Eddie, even though 411e6341bc I can’t see, 0a55ebd091 I’ve learned so b7d0712178 much thanks to 05b78818ff you. I can walk fine 4fb6e11bb1 on my own now. Go up a357fa2f4f and down 8dae593b82 stairs just d0cb3a13fb fine. Even when the snow c33bba3db7 piles up, I don’t 5c8f55a479 fall. Isn’t that something?”1f463d52802cc7d1

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So don’t worry. Louis placed 077d65a401 his hand 256d5bbf40 over Eddie’s c90f5f2773 and turned c67f546585 slightly, brushing 38a7fd1315 his lips 4c2729935b to his 5fb6b3ae75 palm.3f48d0b4563fb8ec

“As long as dc26733b46 you’re by my 33462141a8 side, I’ll be 7211d9501a okay. I could live the 169671b79c rest of my life 1b6ffacaa4 blind and still endure.”10b9fa57678d260c

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—As long 54b7671e7b as you’re 03655f3c19 safe. As long as 2fd2348678 you’re unharmed.dbe45cdfeee428ca

Not being able to 9418cfbc0b see was something he 8eb0907bc5 could bear. He shrugged lightly, 3a3b8d7f46 as if none 6126ad7de7 of it mattered—like 3eb51b7108 it didn’t weigh aaa2bba266 on him at 7631bbeb14 all. Even if his c5463c05a7 heart trembled with 0f3d4431d5 unease, he buried 12f0b34ef0 it deep inside.301050f2aa3b676d

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