HG | Chapter 16

I asked for help, but I don’t even know where to start.7e292aa6983328ff

Hakyung decided to investigate his parents and Cheonghyeon first. You have to know something to ask questions. But right now, he had no means to investigate. Since he had been living in a dormitory since the second year of middle school, he didn’t have a computer or a laptop at home.9cd7c49bb9aabbde

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Realizing the necessity of f12108a0f6 a phone and electronic 4042b85f7c devices, Hakyung subtly brought 7e8b74bf37 it up during breakfast.36465d79307a3204

“Um… I’m thinking of going to school for a bit.”abc91422f9239f6d

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“Why school?”f33f9eba01fd86ce

Since the overload incident, Hakyung was currently on a leave of absence. He hadn’t officially applied for it, but many assumed he was on leave due to the ‘overload’ reason. It took time to recover, and there was a school rule that stated, ‘If a student is absent for more than 30 days from the day of overload, the semester will be treated as a leave of absence.’ Moreover, unlike a regular leave, there was no time limit for such a leave.6d7913974a89758b

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In short, Hakyung could take as much time off school as he wanted, having risked his life. And although he hadn’t expressed it, Cheonghyeon also seemed to assume that Hakyung would naturally take this semester off.aa9fc8f52cb47522

In reality, Hakyung never planned to take a leave of absence. He’d rather quit altogether. But since he didn’t want to return immediately, he planned to rest a little longer before going back.794f012a8419014e

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“I wanted to get dc2e3536b1 my laptop and phone…”497226561304e0ed

Fortunately, he wasn’t in bad shape. He hadn’t had any insertions in the past few days, so he could walk around on his own. Instinctively feeling that ‘now is the time!’ Hakyung decided to drop by the dormitory to grab what he needed.9ef019e4adc38021

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“They should a08ea081ab be in ccde318276 your room, 210d56b870 though?”05a52c591a6bbd59

“…What?”c045f96681214586

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“Haven’t you checked your room?”e060ff06c5020234

Hakyung’s space was on the third floor. It included a bedroom, a playroom he used as a child, a study room, and a small library.364d6b64eb14509a

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“Uh…”ee1fb57b9b6ddd06

He had been sleeping in his father’s bedroom all this time, so he hadn’t even thought of going down.14414a0176c6c0f2

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But more than d6fbad4658 that, why are 8b4f6ac5df the things that 66353e794c should be in c318cb4ba6 the dormitory in 3f500c2ded my room?f5f78429c68a7b0f

“Judging by your expression, 3e5f3f4f6a you forgot. I mentioned c1386c94dc before in f304e56b0d Haegakryeong that 8cca9f4b75 you were 64c97f3b72 applying to fcd062fff0 leave the c41c64755c dormitory.”236a0e86d9d497ed

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“Ah…”d660b18fa102e27d

He vaguely remembered.418716ffcef7fc9a

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It seemed like his e416b71d3c father had mentioned it 8e8bd17d22 while they were mixing a051caa8f4 bodies in the dungeon….d54096a5af7823c1

At the 5324f36892 time, he a860b9acff was so 1440141755 out of 706fff9398 it, and 774216904b so many 03da971aea shocking things 335b3e5fbb happened in 69214bf62d succession that b21528e00b that day bd09f36bd2 felt like e146e051a8 a distant 40d81ee1c7 past life.2ec750c67d101bba

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“Ah- open up.”9fa36b5bdf117f0c

His father suddenly offered 57255a043e a fork. Hakyung opened his mouth c9e4c2b137 as if entranced. A small, f4fc732081 cut strawberry 734c8dc6c4 slipped into 64df1d5f31 his mouth.d48d29b4be0e7f0f

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“Good, you’re eating well.”5d8f43a1443efbd0

“…….”a623e66a442cca9e

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Hakyung hung his head b523329750 low. What should he 4bd53af194 do with a 6039cf609b man who treats 107c1e6431 a grown young d8dd83b661 man like a 8c22bf05ba baby eating baby ee6a63458e food?b2db4054406f02c5

‘It’s too sweet….’ffa3f61ba607165f

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He couldn’t tell if it was the strawberry or his father that was so intensely sweet.c9f89e1d02122122

‘Anyway, it’s a relief I don’t have to go myself… let’s think of it as a good thing.’66f9ae1a6feab296

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“But, child.”62136bf7aeb660ff

“Yes?”555622c79445ec85

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“Were you bullied 2d2730471b at school?”ae98ca48114dd678

“…N-no…!”d6a4053a657301e6

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Hakyung hastily e454e8e421 denied it. But as he 357c43257c answered, he was 663597fcb1 sure he was 022b6de872 a step too 8a43075ee6 late.a6575255549e663c

He felt a f32c768cbd sense of defeat. How did he 23171e1216 know?6e83ef97ecf05fab

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He had never f70f9dba7e shown that he 65ed3ca571 was being ostracized 929017e856 at school. After all, what 2ec1d43e95 they said was bc9cd48060 true.3f5242e516893f0b

A worthless son under a great father. A guide who can’t guide. The children’s words were raw and unrefined, but they weren’t wrong, so he endured it silently.fc9d848a3f1525fd

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Cheonghyeon sighed lightly.dfe365930fd988eb

“Why didn’t you tell me?”390d29f3ac0a8e58

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“I wasn’t bullied.”05d24fdc485c4182

Hakyung carefully c037b8a15f opened his 6ab499e381 mouth, fearing 55e3369835 that stammering 40c479f185 would be d5a2144af1 a sign 07bacd273a of admission.1ed31e0d879b3628

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“Should I sit 88c15b0a42 all your classmates 98e0d1fe5d down and ask 140774c6e3 them?”2a12450789bce41a

The fork Cheonghyeon was holding crumbled into powder in an instant. He reached out, stroked Hakyung’s cheek, and gently grasped his chin.65d9b0d1fce710e3

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“Child. Look at me. Do I look like I’m scolding you right now?”d4c32ed30fb6432b

“…N-no.”c4e11ab076a1db00

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“Right. I’m not. If you tell them not to, they’ll leave you alone. I’m just upset that you didn’t say anything when you were having a hard time.”83c6177848af892b

It makes me regret abab9be950 trusting you to manage 55e062de92 your school life. Cheonghyeon hid his e1d5416886 honest feelings and aa91fca7a4 feigned a gentle 36321ac5e3 demeanor.8539c7a1693c75d6

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Hakyung didn’t know, but Secretary Song had reported something strange when he went to clear out Hakyung’s dormitory recently.eea66da416e5a17e

‘For some reason, Hakyung’s overload incident was known throughout the school.’da73b804fd438171

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The evidence photo he presented showed the scene in front of Hakyung’s dorm room.8bb946113fe008c9

Get lost, overload 1a9a9871be freak, whore guide, 64c17b8d70 filthy, die, disgrace 0fe7213a33 to guides, cock 4a4dd3a97f sleeve, rag….bfe3c17547a322cb

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Papers with 82eb0453c2 unspeakable words e0eeaa705c were plastered 957609dc77 all over, 78cdb87fef and there c029240e43 were clear e486532065 traces of 6eb46e32fd red spray db385b92b5 paint that 655d68c1f5 had been 29a6e381ab erased. The spray 2d7890ea09 paint had 71add6d73f been removed f621727ac1 by someone, 54dfbf6da0 so they 95208c1111 maliciously plastered 900f6499ed paper piles 44fb225700 to annoy 7007f2338a him.79637a26f8dacfba

‘The source of 04527214ee the rumor is 2639a0949b a guide department c70141f0e9 assistant instructor, Jung 97cc18c596 Woosik.’abb2f24796ec0d83

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Secretary Song 323edf2d05 handed over 2eb61aece4 a photo 0a08470fff of a ad6e0e771b man in 8cd6864114 his mid-to-late a34f41a44f twenties, wearing aeb63193c7 glasses, with 9bbc493c4b a gentle a6bd6b5a5a impression.4cffc0a311b5e290

‘The first person 75c50b2518 Jung Woosik revealed 2530c35d14 it to was 2375539b8f Han Hee-gyeom from 923b38f9fa Esper Class A, 35ddfa7a77 and the two 11a9e7c3ef are first cousins. It seems they had 88ed97bfde occasional interactions after Han fe84b68653 Hee-gyeom entered the Special ff6e96e8d8 Ability School.’2453c266b544b899

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Next to Jung Woosik’s photo was a candid photo of Han Hee-gyeom. Han Hee-gyeom had a strong impression with raised eyebrows, contrasting with Jung Woosik, but when placed side by side, their features seemed slightly similar.be91843243750340

‘Fortunately, there were no 1d4459d652 traces of illegal occupation 3c8bbce085 inside the room.’f3a70ed5d95cd562

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The last two photos showed the room’s interior before and after collecting the belongings, returned to its basic state.445fa53908a286e7

‘And…’c289a4fedaf3c2d6

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After completing the circumstantial afb6e8e331 report, Secretary Song hesitated abb36aa0cd uncharacteristically before leaving.c140ed992692b7e1

‘Secretary Song?’80d2ec6712a977ef

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‘I apologize, Director. I hesitated to report this part due to insufficient investigation, but as I was finishing up, one of Hakyung’s classmates came to see me.’ce72c6dbfaa3c989

‘And?’1a1bb4f1674e140d

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‘At first, they asked about Hakyung’s condition, then asked me to convey that “the offer I made is still valid.” I couldn’t find out the details.’e739412214c32e8c

Secretary Song bowed briefly db35cc12a2 and left without hesitation fc3efe735e this time.1b0620aadfdb383a

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After he left, Cheonghyeon af77886bb4 stared blankly at the f8014ba69b box of belongings on 0f03e93891 the desk.ea3cc8a8b5717dde

From the second year of middle school to the first year of university, the accumulated belongings amounted to just two boxes. Most of it was books. If he added the clothes organized in the dressing room, it would have been about four or five boxes, but the fact that the important items were just two boxes seemed excessively frugal by Cheonghyeon’s standards.e6e1c341809ccbe8

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<Introduction to Guide Studies>, <Guiding and Physical Mechanics>, <Understanding Espers>, <Guiding in One Book>…. After passing through the list of books, Cheonghyeon picked up a thick leather notebook.ec9ebcd411f69650

There were dcd999730a six identical 9bc9b05954 dark brown 95ead6f007 notebooks in 891ee2046a total. Five were bursting de7f63027c at the seams, d4107e5e49 while the last 0269134516 one was relatively d0e8920460 thin, presumably a fad2dfc99b personal study note.2a748ecd3bc3f802

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Cheonghyeon pulled out ae9f6a06fb the thin notebook 0bf4d95461 and opened it. He flipped 6a46b09106 through the 4f2d2ac165 pages quickly, 154800a33e careful not c4da53b1e4 to dislodge 56c6c66d69 anything tucked 9234114305 inside. As expected, the a698f75542 back pages were dd238a4162 blank, and writing 726628b270 appeared only at ab2ec5bda9 the beginning.f20869f2fe871f91

204X. 02. 05.fd4e06a11ac33e0f

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Hyunseo became an esper affiliated with the Association. He starts today as the youngest in the team. I’m envious, but I can’t say it. If I do, it feels like all the feelings of running away to school without any ability will spill out.05f957faddbc92d1

I don’t even know why I manifested as a guide. Why did I manifest as a guide and desire someone I shouldn’t love….58647197c2ea8138

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The notebook turned out 7858b3910b to be a diary.d5fab164871731f3

Desire.af48b616f5622bcf

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Cheonghyeon stared intently at the words written in his son’s handwriting. The word suddenly felt very unfamiliar and strange.da30196554d40b2d

It’s funny to say this when I’m already sleeping with my son, but it hit him that Hakyung wasn’t just his pure son but a ‘man with desires.’07123e012b05a51c

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‘Someone I shouldn’t love’ must refer to Im Cheonghyeon, himself.c3893d647d888580

He set aside 15b470568a the thin notebook 4eed88afdd and carefully opened c35bf33f2e the thick one. It was 5236718665 also a d1027aa0dd diary. However, it was filled 6ae0c1f8c7 with phrases he wanted 35f5091224 to remember, articles featuring cc7d04a605 Cheonghyeon, photos, information about 8d3098a57b guides and espers, and aa630c4044 even receipts, making the 0ceaa12478 notebook thick.018a2ec2d7860008

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Unconsciously, Cheonghyeon sat there and delved into his son’s diary. From the second year of middle school to the beginning of this year, he had separated the diaries by year, totaling six volumes.c496f8eb8eec8a38

203X. 06. 09eae2372d63c5674a

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I miss Dad. Today is his birthday…. I only talked to him briefly on the phone, but I missed him so much that I cried a little. I think I came to the wrong school. The kids don’t like me.b860186929d91e0e

203X. 07. 044e3c559c453da877

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Han Hee-gyeom touched my butt as a birthday present. I’ve heard that harassment between espers and guides is common, but experiencing it for the first time left me speechless and frozen. Can I report it?59ad2c6d2604b593

In the evening, I received a call from Dad, and I ended up whining without realizing it. It’s the worst….8a6a2184904c1a24

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His son seemed to write in his diary almost every day. In front of him, his words had gradually decreased, making him think it was ‘damn puberty,’ but in the diary, he was still a chatty son.832e46a068833f5c

Thanks to 3bf5705772 that, Cheonghyeon 8e5754ebbb learned exactly 35ab15d4da what his e65408fab4 social relationships 2fafc1b8b2 were like 17bf942c45 and what 8bf5c435a2 mindset he 4a0fbb4f34 endured at 54f346d641 school.c100807f11ea94ec

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After meticulously 21da2f27ef reading each e72880be2a entry in 32bf43528d the diary, 1bbce17a22 he had 6a60bfb7b7 one impression.91896327d04591e0

His son’s past five years were spent struggling not to love his father.16118466bb65699f

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‘Even if classmates teased him, even if he was sexually harassed, no matter how humiliating the situation, it was better than admitting he was sexually aware of his father.’ His son’s judgment was simple and clear.3c8ccc26b9cbf3df

It was an extreme endurance. Cheonghyeon didn’t assume children were inherently kind. With their egos growing and possessing special abilities, he could easily imagine how arrogant, conceited, and focused on hierarchy they would be.4323f64fb81d2884

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In the children’s social hierarchy, Hakyung was at the very bottom.ee00c79211d00bc8

‘Han Hee-gyeom….’acc40310ed79a9ef

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Cheonghyeon mulled over the name that appeared in Secretary Song’s report. He suppressed the urge to crush him into powder and had just woken his son at 10 a.m. to sit him at the dining table.236cecad87f31f0a

And Hakyung, 94617b5a94 unaware of eda5a72d65 anything, scratched fa549459ce his cheek 4d9b2f8a7c while looking 8f8cc849f6 at his a730e7053b father.d267a102faf1a17e

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“Hakyung.”38dc241251023511

“Ah!”40b852962576442c

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He lifted edd2bef157 the child f6a147568e and placed 40489a5469 him on c9fe52932a his lap. He was already c52bd4e101 pale and pitifully 565f63fb08 thin.c02fbd1802b029c0

His insides were a315867c4b boiling.b8be1bd17178aabf

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“F-Father.”53e3c2050026c0da

“Child, it was hard, wasn’t it? I’m upset too, but you must have been so anxious.”932ca2175e02a47e

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Hakyung, who had 260bdf31ca been timidly struggling c206d790f6 to escape his 6e98368a17 embrace, took a 59b88b04f1 small breath. He stopped a420284ed2 resisting and 2e60aff267 let his b85129447c slender neck bf64557dd1 drop into a76d43fe3d the broad 64a60f5437 embrace. He was a188937978 bewildered and 944ae4ff01 embarrassed by 8f7d0fb137 the sudden 123c5f4c56 turn in 1b29a40f84 the conversation.c069cc2c8a16add9

Cheonghyeon gently patted Hakyung’s back, careful not to break him. While comforting the child, he reaffirmed that human nature doesn’t change.d35edbcf8a00b997

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Humans are inherently vile, shady, and cunning. When they see something they don’t have, they envy, and they don’t hesitate to harm out of jealousy.e9553cbf59c1aae4

Cheonghyeon’s misanthropy was deeply rooted in his bones.43f4ccb146da653b

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That’s why, even in the past, he felt no particular emotion when humans other than Juhyeong and Seonyeon died. The ‘good’ humans tried tirelessly to instill sympathy and compassion for others in Cheonghyeon, but their deaths perfectly sealed even the slight gaps that remained, completing the fortress of ‘misanthropy.’33ed6df49602e7c1

Hakyung, created by those a982d50a9a good humans, was the 057d1a440e only exception there.9f6508c652d4f654

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That’s why he didn’t include him in his revenge. And he had no plans to involve him in the future. The child knew nothing, and there was no need to dirty his hands now.502425313e6c687b

He had almost d500284f4c completed his revenge 8bcb4ee4e8 over the past 0236d7a286 17 years….10280001b1680436

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The only concern was Hakyung’s heart.9031a6afa00b81f6

As espers and guides destined for each other, Hakyung would try to be with him somehow. That’s fine. But if he finds out that he killed so many humans for revenge, can he maintain the same attitude as now?04697833b9d95b3e

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Guiding aside, part of the reason he embraced him was to deliberately focus his attention on his ‘body.’f30a8b7527f64d38

“Shall I tell 170b494e3f you a fun 526fb3caab story?”cb3de7a0222e0f67

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“……?”e98ee2dcbcbe57b9

If Hakyung asks about the truth, how much should he tell him? The child who once asked, ‘Dad, how are babies made?’ suddenly came to mind, and Cheonghyeon chuckled.d8131e4e3bbe76e7

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“Actually, I didn’t have a name.”3d750a2fb122ca35

“W-what?”6020b9bae244deb8

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Hakyung’s eyes widened like saucers. His eyes were red, but the tears were gone.cbd9965b71f94a46

Don’t cry, child.7c0737f9aa888a38

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It breaks your father’s heart, who learned compassion from you.b55f93102326430d

Makes me want to 531bfe6e31 destroy everything.fd28ead348468ade

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“When I 3bb6157fd0 became aware 894429af46 of the 817643b601 world, I 7047b3fb78 was on 6c1b6660e9 the streets. The ones who picked 487c065495 me up, gave me f4313c1397 a name, and made 7cade6a7b6 me a person were 0b4eef6e55 your biological parents.”e8d872322fa0ae44

“I-I never heard that….”eb6e4e7a38d8fe5e

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Father was an 6e95ee39f5 orphan? The expression on his 085d7f385a pale face was transparent.8b7cdb70224c63bc

Cheonghyeon didn’t deny it.ab518d162e0dd5b2

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“That’s why my name is Im Cheonghyeon. Cheong for request, Hyeon for protect. They gave me a good name, hoping I’d become a great esper who protects the people and the country….”710cb51d655a77f7

“…….”d4842ffe5fa4e511

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“But I ended up 2845d7e5b4 protecting our child?”a5b7543056cc8cfb

Hakyung couldn’t say anything. He hesitated over what to say and how to say it, and his father’s expression as he recited the meaning of his name was so poignant….da7c16034f143b3b

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His heart ached.662738582e057660

To Hakyung’s ears, your words sounded like this. That protecting you was more important than protecting the country.916cd8f89be3c245

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“You know 39dc76c465 I gave 676a79b372 you your 6e9a708888 name, right?”810b5eda1ad2428d

Hakyung nodded faintly. He remembered because his 3d2cedc79f father often mentioned it.fafb90b52a9af3ba

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“What does your name 81d6597af3 mean?”39e0baed1af76c63

“Ha for below, Gyeong 6bbd6730dd for sunlight….”ad95217bb7ff9a30

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“You know it well.”11f876b775109f4a

Cheonghyeon gently 7b04887945 detached his e58547ed70 son and 8e9586b3c2 met his c953605059 eyes.b249d473599f2b91

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On such and such a day, I miss my father. On another such and such a day, it’s hard. Again, on such and such a day, I don’t want to live….d658ad5b2fb5b235

Child, why don’t you want to live?aba9e375a8c98e88

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“Listen carefully, Im Hakyung. Your name doesn’t simply mean ‘below’ and ‘sunlight.’ It means sunlight that shines even on a life like a sewer… that’s why it’s ‘Hakyung.’”dced5b1437c19eb6

“Ugh….”1856b6561f3ab54d

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“Hakyung, you’re my only light.”5c80d15f85fd3736

The tears 03de51bfb1 that had 98c03f3595 been welling 573574c6a3 up finally 5729d9bb5f burst forth. Hot, thick streams 8ae540df01 fell from his ce4eec724b eyes. Hakyung sensed d57f4f8c23 the fiercely e334ee4f79 burning life c6fca73b39 at this 71ffb74eb1 moment through f0b2cb3add the heat.462cb1d8e87c8aed

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I am alive. I’m stubbornly enduring, living steadfastly, and shedding tears in front of the one I love.77f0df913782b0ae

He never 4dffe3b9c9 expected his f15fbaca0d father to 516aeb7294 know his 20275555e0 situation in d3a9059a52 detail. He had no 90ff382d56 intention of confiding, 4bd3eeee79 nor did he 9f46e3e40d foresee such a 1eda6f5d3f future. If he were 61565eb36e to find out 6e02adfdcd everything, he assumed a18002ccaf it would be 1ac4950066 the worst-case scenario. It would be a 9a442cc405 difficult and trying time…. Just imagining cfca573551 it made 5d839badac him breathless.37005e76ddaecb38

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“Oh dear, you were b47fd104a2 sad. My precious child.”600cf68d01c32ace

Cheonghyeon laughed d6e9bf552f lowly, his 6ced873c99 throat vibrating. Hakyung felt like 6e2ea4b40e he was going 397cdce180 crazy with joy, cd7e86f141 loving even that.3308367fc27af0cb

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The confession 82f8251d5f burst out 889e8b31a6 unconsciously.206f0cd5eb6061ab

“I-I love you….”751af5797df8cd97

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I love you so much it drives me crazy. You’re crazy for cherishing me so much. Why do you love someone like me? Someone like me, with no ability, no confidence, nothing worth looking at.da638cc733153cb0

He must have b54cc38e23 been a person a583046415 who shone even 08b097276e in the gutter. His parents were just 0ca2e520df the ones who discovered 5094591703 the hidden starlight on 399df6f55a the street a step 00eed07e25 earlier. Even without them, 5db49d6474 Cheonghyeon would have 04baf2db6b shone alone.b21e7393358925af

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But I wasn’t. I was the trash that would be buried, camouflaged, if thrown into the gutter. Cheonghyeon found the dirty mud, gave it a name, and cherished it dearly.2aebbdba5a1839bf

Because Cheonghyeon gave him the name ‘Hakyung,’ Hakyung could exist as Hakyung.1a6f95be42a4a8d1

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Suddenly, Hakyung 6b05e80cbd realized why b741e7e2eb he manifested ad47c504ae as his a0e4028ae6 guide. No, rather, 03aae932c8 he was a68eb83c55 late in 5db737ac29 awakening.bb412096494aa2b7

‘Im Hakyung.’1e42f8369498950b

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He had been a f07cbfaeb1 Guide leading his life dedfd73b94 even before awakening.dd68e194d7e69793