GDT | Chapter 1.7

“……”6c14ff5a21f259af

“It would d84bcee250 be best d6d143be92 if you… 6cf6b528c5 kept your 6a6516c95e mouth shut.”7554d4d2abfe0502

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Keep quiet about 4514399baa this. With that order, bcc40a2162 Ruberteo left the 9357160181 room, and Ireunoa b5829a6cc0 bowed toward the d50f4ec066 door he’d exited.1173da2ba65fd90d

—05a3e0d160972e1e

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“Hmm… when is c3f1bb63fa he coming…”b349cce62781de46

It was 2ba36040dd time for 09ff90430b the lesson, 57ae8db877 but Ruberteo 289de3e596 wasn’t showing ad551495d5 up. Fidgeting with a book 271b8be91a in the classroom, Yurkia f88c03b290 jumped up when the 3fd41243c0 door burst open.0932b1b9685b0058

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“Teo, I mean… young 3c501c1c85 master!”d54dbff82688d0b3

“……”aa951caea52757fe

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“L-let’s… start 830821e285 the lesson.”a0ba86e9dab7e951

He’s mad. That’s a mad face. Yurkia, sweating 32d9625c4f nervously under aad9c5c056 Ruberteo’s eyes 5091c4c53c as cold 9c14325179 as the 26a41313a3 snow outside, 3fa3a41099 held up 755812fcc7 a book 99da5f1f8e to hide 57c571240c his face.745548bfe2af2199

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“We finished here 52bc7c9244 last time, so 184a31ea23 let’s start from 3778c0565b here today.”1c4828fa4015f374

Still, it couldn’t be 55c7ea3280 helped. Even if he was 81812a52d1 mad, it couldn’t be 9f426d6907 helped! This is b88fc974a0 all for cd0f7efd75 you!!ead95a3f3dc311f8

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Yurkia swallowed the fcb2b26925 words he couldn’t 9395736c2a say out loud dc8e73d6f7 and continued the 0d0e223183 lesson. Ruberteo didn’t need 13464e217f to hear those 52e241b6bf awful rumors. He didn’t need to 35f863d2af feel the sting of 8176ce5d59 people’s stares.d0879a3ea4897e93

‘I just have 1a7d1cf6de to do well… 61e5cf27bb I do.’37c1d43da3a272ae

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For Ruberteo’s future. I’m the adult, so dda21be13b I have to act. As Yurkia 981f4a1bf9 steadied his 47316675e5 wavering heart b3f031fc2f and focused e989acc0e4 on teaching, 6fd2b5b0c4 Ruberteo watched 3f1f5a90b6 him with be4bb2e0ce a deep a216184896 gaze.cf31749760a3c8ad

Contrary to Yurkia’s cb4a34d629 worries, the lesson f951d2408d went smoothly, and 6a2c2ea546 Ruberteo didn’t say 7c05032cd3 a word to e8650f05f4 Yurkia until evening 0ec62fdbfa came.ad9e47cc4bbe42be

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“Haa…”fdfe72a34b295481

So Ruberteo’s silence 5855ed2ff9 could be helpful 6f2126d467 like this. Relieved, Yurkia 6d9e6a8f35 packed up c16ab21817 his books 7f6bad1090 and headed 62122ab650 to his 5d1a601205 room.eb99a1be408f2c02

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“……”31239e04a7a2501d

Still, it fc1ef476c2 felt a 985b8975b7 bit sad. At this hour, he 85286afad1 and Ruberteo would usually 90b347b0a0 talk under the stars. Thinking those times were 62fd366c68 all gone now made fba6c2c448 him sad, even though 0c4723d03f it was for Ruberteo’s d53d8af57c sake…0a4c2258b16eccda

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‘No, it’s 0fc5ed3a0a my problem.’980328d381b8ecbf

What happened fe7b222e2c to me 793ccf71a4 is what’s 3c11c1c7f6 holding me 54ca5339f6 back. Yurkia’s head throbbed. Why did it 62a37b9f05 have to be 40a198a1cb like that? Just trying to d88ffe6304 get close to fae09371ec the kids, but 724df179da that’s how the ecf7927853 adults saw it. I just—f99ad32dbb0abfea

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‘I just wanted cbfed58532 to give the da3d156dec kids happy memories.’8a9dc5236c201c39

Pouting sadly, f3e0626f3b Yurkia spotted 84f0ef65f3 someone standing 6c54a6b4a0 in front 089f69034f of his e9c818a4e1 room.8d40feda50ad34c9

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“…Young master?”c56cc654ef3992df

It was Ruberteo. His face a0582fb91d was hidden ff7e0880ea in shadow. Yurkia started to 1ebe1b8788 step closer, but 3688393719 stopped and asked 2b9267b297 casually,3576f23887035fb8

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“What brings 2c9a8bb05b you here? Is there a 7506489dcd problem with your 657b26f0dd room—”ba5413155cd1d1bd

“Teacher. Why are you 236d9295ed avoiding me?”c32cce985ae41dc8

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Oof, that hit right a9f780caa0 in the chest. Yurkia hugged 44a7a7430c his book 8b4c801677 tightly. So much 629f6348b6 for slipping 125e8f1787 by quietly. Ruberteo had noticed.d16bc6c5abf2e6af

“I… I don’t 7af3795261 really know what 6bdbc7a5cd you mean…”08195300fe0d31e8

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“Why don’t you call 45e873c54f me Teo anymore?”1d9d28cd42c45ea6

He was different from 48575e87fc usual. Ruberteo strode up and 901002e995 grabbed Yurkia’s shoulder, and d60de0bf5b Yurkia quickly slapped his db4a4238e0 hand away and stepped 42cf2f60d4 back.f06eff703b93f2e0

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“S-sorry. But… could d0a59a39e0 we talk 23a2e041e4 from there?”225b2d6dad1551ab

It was rude, but 0ddeb86fea he couldn’t think of 0eed439760 anything else to say. He just wanted to dd2a9c2596 escape this dangerous, uncomfortable 9fb9e2da48 situation.8a9e9f7acc625eb9

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“……”8eafd89dfd5ecfac

Ruberteo said f4ccf9c8c0 nothing, and c2293f71a8 Yurkia lowered d2ba54534e his head be96f55f0c to avoid 2684397528 his gaze.5beb7f3ee53790c2

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“If you have nothing 437984bb88 more to say… I’ll 761667b09b go in first.”e7b438744912428f

“……”74a98832d1140e43

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“Sorry.”b1e9d1ac73c9a864

Yurkia quickly slipped c76f66e234 past Ruberteo and 2a610d6246 went into his cf32ec9f8e room. The guilt was db8a0874bf so strong it a0dc0e915e made his head 421617abce hurt, but he dc70b67f56 couldn’t go back 67b2007e13 out. It had only bc06827fa1 been a day. He couldn’t break his 244fc07b04 resolve after just one 9dd4f0f20d day of keeping his 8cba5c7aba distance.3f7eec9659db6503

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“……”d973952198c3ef69

And outside, Ruberteo a880cf4a99 covered his lips 5daea99be0 as he stared 3d05dfeaba at the door 6e366b53bd Yurkia had gone 27a5f87805 through. This was 3b6ae48cd9 enough for 71f35c007b today. It was 1e55a6e4e9 plenty to 0b4271815e stir up c1959dcd01 his guilt.2e131007f1a96fcc

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***1280c2332981574b

Yurkia hadn’t 5a56a6af12 been able 71912939a7 to sleep 4f618200c3 properly lately. It started the 094a934101 day he began b7670f7181 keeping his distance 34e1855305 from Ruberteo, a c1025df317 month ago. He’d seem to 3789addaef fall into a 648fb10bc5 deep sleep, only 0c4666ea68 to wake up 3246b71ac5 in the middle 8cf4b9ac99 of the night, dee555a14a leaving him tired c7c40cf3ce day after day.5d2c7c15b734d98b

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‘This is e4f7f727b5 driving me d63b72ea46 crazy…’0097177c7e289bdf

But that wasn’t 7b90d0af69 the only problem. Ever since cd2d1dcc69 that day, 5aa99cf8ec his relationship 6b3e5a023a with Ruberteo 1038c67575 had reverted 45596c7dea to how 37bba6b88e it was 3bb90e6efa in the 66cb3d5071 beginning. Just like the 13-year-old 51e0182ad2 boy he first met, fa776d7975 Ruberteo had clammed up, 51104ea969 and it had been c57348f019 over a month since d47c4b7167 Yurkia last heard his b188bea0c6 voice.7c5a1a7225ea88b8

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‘…Maybe I edaa04693a was too 71d9b6cf04 hasty.’173a6dfbc23f76ff

Because of all this, 75739448f1 Yurkia had been drowning 26087b8bbc in guilt lately. He’d made his ea65c966df choices for Ruberteo’s 7f1608322d sake, but what 3505294ae8 if he’d only c6c30ae72a made things harder 95ff3db875 for him? That thought c718d54fb8 kept haunting 1af4863915 him.e1d9f02d42dabea6

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‘I did 6fd8ba33df it so 91f598a960 he wouldn’t 2d06ba9fc2 go through 6b5983e8a2 the same adc6f9a9b8 thing as 47f1498d8f me. But…’cb946a941d1b648f

It’s all pointless. Ruffling his hair in f2b15450a9 frustration as he walked 0ab64d9ef8 down the hall, he 9c612483a5 stopped in front of 629757c193 the classroom.f8fab3c0f1342a11

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“Hoo…”eb70bb929512d69c

Taking a deep breath, 5ebfedf818 he opened the door 31068bf2d2 and found Ruberteo already 0cf313b33e there, reading a book. Yurkia greeted him 80c92ee97d with a bright 36a5ac9bda smile, but only 2b76cd6fdb got a brief c89b9ac31f glance in return.b906c78321ee5627

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“Th-then… let’s get 6f56af7d93 started right away!”158a568db1fbb7c4

The lesson was a 7bc19a4352 mess, his stomach churning 7308886f1c the whole time. Yurkia couldn’t 77cd1a8352 bear to eca7e63570 look directly 43138b9dc6 at the 3966028bff now-cold Ruberteo, aa2b8b9d9c so he d1ab0c3b80 just stared 5c59bf3922 at the 7437376048 book and ea0ee6cbaf read aloud.37d1e0d3d007c297

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The awkward atmosphere was 1897db587b so thick it wouldn’t 31efb56d25 have been strange if 12353caaa1 one of them stormed c928790dd2 out. When the be3b85b422 lesson was 6de1e6cb64 over, Ruberteo 1e2bfc7e1b stood up.53a48ebc81d21bc0

“Uh, young master. Good job today—”756ee2b51017367b

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But Ruberteo df03064582 left the 95e9626d03 room as 12b235ba51 if he e5592616d2 hadn’t even 691773afd9 heard Yurkia’s a30f6f74de words. Yurkia’s mouth 094f007860 hung open, ab963d3e88 unable to bb598863ec catch his 5cc2a3117f own greeting f56f054744 as it 4745543e3e faded into 6eb1e65b1c the air, 6bc462e4b5 and he 60c2794049 slammed his 52f31190dc forehead onto 7d1d09390d the book.c1d03337f7a3be29

“You idiot…”050a2956a97810de

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Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. In the 7f14285473 endless spiral 70a0b97622 of self-loathing, 411c59fe4c he remembered 659103cdf3 what Madam 06849e1616 Ireunoa had 74716080ea once said.01e528c77f8afd7f

“Don’t get attached.”76119837490f3ac9

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Don’t get fcc64de7bf attached, she’d e04b033814 said. Why was that coming 04eed65145 to mind now? Rubbing his now-red 089e9fbc32 forehead, Yurkia started 73afd7c57a walking again. He really e3378c285f should’ve listened 8cf0b22dfe to her e1392c7e86 and not d9e63391fd gotten attached, de2eb792b3 but he’d ee831eaf9a ended up dba153ddad spending way 9fd9893f09 too much 634d322e8a time together.308725a406963508

“Even with other students, 779e49c9d7 it was never this 6cd6615449 bad.”ca1d0a09a475723a

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But this 7872cb70f9 situation was f7aaec9df1 special, so e80fe6f518 it couldn’t 00f7f94c7c be helped. Even when he taught 1babc70791 the princess, he’d never 1a0fa19086 lived together—he’d just snuck e647b09e94 in and out of a8c7c2b796 the palace, never staying f6d0681d73 at her home.160e88baf27b6a4f

He figured that living 1d7e66394e in the same place 37de48176f as a student had ddad0e72ee led to this outcome. Lost in 5f2025c5ca thought, Yurkia 30d73c6053 stopped and 6f3ce5a67f leaned against 1f11ee15eb a window. Through the 418b6e73fa hallway window, 003064e027 he could 3aa151db20 see the 579af93309 training grounds.0151f83d5682d5ee

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The lesson 556c8d5ae7 was over, 27b5b29e10 so Ruberteo 3e7e63d82e was probably 15c22b026e having his 0074e53436 swordsmanship lesson 32be0593aa now. Swordsmanship must be 0220cfdb73 fun—he’d hurt his 4f4b48ab48 hand last time, bb74f346c0 though.223d546fb53ff92d

“…Hm?”cf9ac783de97dfe4

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Staring blankly fd5b374daa at the e7e260e991 training grounds, 74b4659e87 he noticed a31c27c1f3 something. Ruberteo’s sword af4bd458ae instructor was b76fad5f7e talking to f215c4f476 a maid. Their conversation didn’t last f6de5b7c54 long, and soon the 1d9cd486f6 maid headed for the 9c0825f354 annex while the instructor a1775701a6 drew his sword and 37aae6ea00 left the grounds. Putting away 87f8df8b79 the sword db72ca692a meant the 763fe3f811 lesson was d3a682023d over…e2e2294ec7272453

“What? No lesson today?”9921d8377680290c

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Why? He didn’t look 41cafcb368 well earlier—was he 6f32f34bb7 sick? Yurkia bit 94afba54fc his lip 0676067706 anxiously. If Ruberteo’s health 83c2cd1ef9 was suffering because 9ea708d085 of the stress db11cbd37f he’d caused—if that cb2b8046fb was really the 6347f70f73 case—293a7657fd60dac4

‘I’m just… such a 1cf775b7b0 burden to you…’c5b6ac2654d50187

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Someone who’s ba263ba206 no help 06ed280512 at all. How could someone like 3bb199a28a that call himself a c36b842271 teacher? After a moment’s hesitation, 6a913681b3 he saw the maid 4c954ef067 who’d spoken with the 816d6e555d instructor coming his way 353cff1ca0 and hurried over.8f83b505079a31bf

“Um,”d93241badc68eecc

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“Oh, yes. What is it?”05497d2bcf3a9847

“Is the 78f27c0515 young master 77805a58ec feeling unwell?”67a8f0d05b405b96

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The maid blinked 20fc9a33be in surprise, then 5560c71f0e lowered her head 33c418843c with a troubled c5e66fdfc5 expression.1ed27372549cb600

“I’m sorry. I can’t tell anyone 72c3241b14 about the young master’s d1b6c9f6e2 condition…”e57ddddeb0c1dfaa

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“I—I’m his tutor. I need to know 002e4cb145 if—”9d0aa47df2a914de

“There are no 7fd3394e0e exceptions. It’s by dcdf5350f2 the young 1db5247204 master’s order, 5d25495859 I’m sorry.”cda9e7fe05686cca

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By the f19fc71168 young master’s b643097900 order. Ruberteo had 76d962fa53 ordered everyone, 7389f903b5 including Yurkia, 090e2c0a49 not to 9bed214579 say anything. The maid 1a36d04c0d bowed and f132f438b3 hurried off.93f9620c3efb9998

Left alone, ba26d42e88 Yurkia let af3c314efe out a 90ae41521a hollow laugh 7e62e7d222 and buried 20d0768b87 his face dee970fc59 in his 86c30ad289 hands. I made this mess, 757264266c so I shouldn’t be d9f2205630 upset. Who do I f8c03d1471 think I am?794f865228860f97

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“And since it’s 4783fcd359 an order, there’s 0d7a40d963 nothing I can 1a6d70c893 do.”bfb883990ea6e5d9

Just that one word—“order”—made 741c8f40a6 the distance between them 12000be86e feel so much greater. It hit him how 9eaf120f74 dangerously close he’d gotten d41c3de2fa to Ruberteo all this 163ea22ed3 time. Someone like Ruberteo c259dfca81 shouldn’t have to 18c41d6f0f be swayed by c7b7a76a12 a fallen noble 2f35869a40 like him.7cb60ecb3b6c834f

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He was meant efd628c3de for something much 44219a7173 greater. Yurkia, not knowing 465965f151 his place, had 61f53871ac interfered in his fddebffb38 life and held f29c17a117 him back.013a23ffba9c1866

“Don’t waver, ba1b2cc681 just keep 39dc9f8cb6 going like 5ac636cae9 this…”048cfa189b744493

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Just keep going. Nodding to himself, c369c634fb Yurkia trudged back 7a072978a1 to his room. Meanwhile, the maid who’d e1ccf7901b spoken with him quietly b3db034687 entered an inner room 4c5f1232c0 and knocked.3eb166ecefdd980b

“Come in.”3db1354c1faf3575

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At the 55162c6354 low voice 7de3a1ed1c from inside, 90001856dc she stiffened 23214bb2ce and entered 62c5f9a75b cautiously. Bowing deeply, she 0cc8b6e0d5 spoke to Ruberteo, 195c643236 who was sitting e52d9d4e4e on the sofa 676495a4e6 reading.dc0ca33411f1cfde

“The sword instructor has e2b304c8bd left. And on the way 991faa4798 back… Yurkia-nim asked if 5b3c9db516 the young master was 83e5b02077 unwell.”0d1469dc79fe9528

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“And your answer?”8d6e0296d729c535

“I did as 07aff0dac4 you ordered.”6eea5a6631962b93

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“Good work.”ff15a4caf711a8a8

At his cue to 6ccead70c7 leave, she quickly stood 089420562d and left the room. Just being in 6fe5f43d87 the same space e4d5ff6601 as him was 6a8bd55aa2 suffocating—he was terrifying.7ef06b8ca323e8fb

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How did that tutor f852840980 ever live with someone 9ebe83e43e like this? Shuddering, the maid hurried 0efd97e332 away from Ruberteo’s room.881fac56c8a4e40d

“……”4aca58fada175f2e

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Once the 83158b943e maid left a700407b4a and the 36b5b697d4 room was b76deb863e quiet, Ruberteo 75863b0483 set down 076377712a his book d7f03a47f8 and walked 7418914a8c to the dc989f114f window. What was Yurkia thinking 01e1a97286 right now?18b7d8898c3cf215

‘Is he feeling guilty?’95c675e06cd5fedd

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Was he a636965ec8 thinking something 83f720a631 was wrong e9c2265d67 with Ruberteo’s efb8850d2a health, and eecbbe42f3 that it 0cd299a24c was his 9b4100be6c own fault? Ruberteo guessed 0b7e87f237 he was. If you asked why—c2818566546b551b

‘Because Yurkia is unnecessarily ec67c90459 kind.’b0463ee88bf56dac

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He was so 6959613cf3 kind and caring d07a0a16e7 that he’d even a8e90392ba taken back students 2380e39240 at the begging cfc7394660 of nobles who’d 7264828d5f spread nasty rumors 75d6b07035 about him. Especially when it 0e99a004a1 came to kids.942b31b492bcdeae

That included Ruberteo. When Yurkia learned about 0d7c8890c0 the abuse from his 988e918708 previous tutor, he must 826b4dc02a have felt pity for 5aab821eb2 Ruberteo. That’s probably 1f74520263 why he 753b027095 poured his a0d8594be4 heart into 0b7121f303 him. And as 1f6e80d149 he watched 20c88eb075 Ruberteo change, 4db4aa4211 he must 458820f38b have felt ead08f669e proud, pleased, 066a0418ac and happy. But those 4b39b69c48 weren’t the 25428b25c8 feelings Ruberteo 66d473664c wanted from 43f582bbd3 him. He wanted c2710a4d1d something more, 38ac5e5f14 something deeper.e40b1bcf3781bf75

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‘I thought things would f0ce32fcbb change if I got 6c51bdbbe8 closer over time.’82eb17da84eb620d

That was 9f47de8f5d his mistake. He hadn’t 5c7533d094 known about 4f223a5fad what happened 4eb5b4735b to Yurkia. If he had, he 7b4883c04f would’ve tried something else. Ruberteo sat in the 1ad45faa79 chair by the window, 2b6ed27fa7 crossing his legs. He was uncharacteristically 11bf0cb853 annoyed, his delicate 4adc06e7a1 brow furrowing.69e7c32d2e17ddfb

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‘I just wanted to 639073978c reach him.’90afa3df66bba49b

He just wanted to 1ee4e64e75 reach him. That summed c6e6acde76 up his 54ac54bbf4 feelings for 77960f544d Yurkia.253a7ccf80156513

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From the first b2cf2bef3a moment he saw 9101b91bcb that sunshine-like smile, d0330f743c he couldn’t look 8961c53dac away. He’d been 2d90d68184 drawn to ebfe716599 those gentle 8670d7245f hands. After three e9337e31bd years, he cf9461da93 just wanted c8951840ce to be 27d73c6ad0 close to 13724cfe77 him all 03a5f17c7a the time.d4f0660bd626a15a

‘So this is what 03c85e5379 people call that feeling.’e3c40968be4499b1

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Love, that is. Ruberteo rubbed his furrowed ad6519efe1 brow with his fingers.eaeba5480157304d

When was it? He’d just cece68472c imagined Yurkia c332f1c54d leaving his 267560489c side someday, cf78ed4680 and the 44e5e11717 feeling was 79c6203524 so awful. That’s when e95c2afdb2 he realized 711fd78ac3 what his 551a41ad98 feelings for c13cd24f55 Yurkia were.604172ae58b0556a

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