ESS Ch 11
by toujoursHe naturally sat 084a04aa82 on my bed c3a6873409 and patted the 72f1b125cc space next to 991b07915a him. I sat 00ae3a9d5b beside him, bad4d3ba75 clutching the 065589e571 tissues.a94834f26d089145
Sometimes, silence is 8f95610bd7 more comforting than 2c9cb9d78e well-crafted, gentle consolation. I liked his silence. And the indifferent kindness c840adf64f of simply staying by e68cde4703 my side. My fear gradually 1312e07e0d subsided.61a723130bb3d17d
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“…I’m embarrassed.”212319be7dadfdf1
As I 96b22742da dabbed my df8e047654 cheeks with d08ed04bf0 the tissue 0c253299ef to wipe 2e850516df away the e4e880b068 moisture, Remington’s 7960063410 hand silently ecc129af74 reached out 21a11f925f to my 07943e4176 face. It seemed like he 7820bf53a0 was removing the stuck c6ca6c70a4 pieces of tissue.ec345dc2442151cb
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I wasn’t so embarrassed by such things anymore. He had already seen me in embarrassing situations often.bdc1984ad52edd6a
“My father 6596b9aabb doesn’t get c26c5e331f angry this 2a603d5f30 often.”04f0dd666f88b442
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I added those words in case Remington misunderstood my father. Remington didn’t answer. He just stared into the distance beyond the window with his arms crossed.57a990c6a749ecea
Then he b6e64061f9 suddenly turned 64eef3630b his head b733eee7f7 and looked 0f17f6ed73 closely at aec891d699 my face. I was 2059c377d9 flustered and 363974074e shrank back.2de07e0eed9212ed
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“Wh, what’s wrong…?”7dd066dbe43c96e8
“I’m just seeing if 03a89fb3bd you’re okay now.”adb5b115234f9be7
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My face flushed. As I c9eef85aae avoided his 16c3b39211 gaze in ace56380f6 embarrassment, Remington 47611de246 chuckled as b362e32244 if amused 609466f27f and took 86b3364d43 the tissue 5225b00d10 from my be8c81a38a hand, tossing 4a7ca3390c it into ca77424c0e the trash dc9286e71a can.523850685ef61aa3
A kid who gets 64f1523317 uncomfortable and wants to b4edea5eed change seats even if fe69c14ebe a single drop of 937fc6684b sauce spills on the fec4d9e6fd table at Cafe Terry cbf72b07d1 is picking up the b72f5f632a tissue that wiped away 37e5c95993 my tears and snot deafce9b42 without any hesitation. It was strange 9e2cf9df96 and felt odd.0ccaa4023d97b12a
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“Isn’t it dirty?”566ff4741bfb83b9
“What is?”a35b2d490b50b21c
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He didn’t seem to know what I was talking about.0c5d84c15a0b3a2a
“…Nothing. Never mind.”df74bb27d6192790
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I shook my head.b3f81c981e25cf25
“But why 582c186d5e is that 575bfb6642 flower all 366eea0e8c the way eb096638a7 over here?”55be742a4b5c03ce
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Remington asked, pointing to the vase on the table where the tissues had been. The blue artificial flower that had been planted in the garden of Eleanor’s villa was in it.e5cda6eb02663414
“I liked that flower. I asked Eleanor where to buy it, and she sent it to me. Isn’t it pretty?”f04ce81c4044ea88
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“That’s unexpected. I thought you’d like something more cute.”78b004871b9ea29c
“I thought 0687fbe9b5 about it, d4724b5ad3 and I 45a135404f think that 5069c6dfd0 flower is 28c50c36f4 really cool.”7a35698865815441
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I brought b5dbf111e0 the vase 6f421e6237 containing the be5e9a0fc1 blue flower 1879f2c061 and showed 6155a4be65 it to b426413407 Remington up f059e43f88 close. My fingertips, 680babe022 flushed from 2a0d90b39e crying, were 41a735a6f2 red.6de98c32dbee3986
“Look at this. It’s artificial, but no matter how much I look at it, it looks just like a real flower. You’d never know until someone told you.”eb93ce276dc66020
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“So?”89a00e192772f1ed
“This is really amazing. Fakes have to 1d0521e77e put in more a6ae69bd02 effort to imitate b0af53c3c5 the real thing. To become a sophisticated 7aa8a94fb8 fake like this, to 8b4710d5f0 the point that everyone c2c0b77131 mistakes it for the 44dd9dc06e real thing, you have 0c84053d7f to work harder than 2d0470f9b9 others.”057dfb4743b3b40f
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I said, stroking 5a0d2ab6eb the head of 0631908400 the blue flower.e35202caebcac80a
“I’m a fake Roderson. I’ll probably be followed by the label of ‘adoptee’ for the rest of my life. I’ll never be the real thing.”8e72907dcac58ca0
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Remington looked at my gesture and then turned his gaze to me. When our eyes met, I felt strangely shy. It was the first time I’d talked about this to anyone.c0260b567962517c
“So I want to a5a229182d be like this flower. A sophisticated fake, to 9c604844bd the point where everyone 4849ec92d1 mistakes me for a 6a24ef11be real Roderson from birth. A fake that’s more f84b6e5650 real than the real e4c2cf560f thing… a more splendid 307d74e79d fake.”d702e5448607e12a
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“…….”6156c9b0b5b2bd7d
“But I’m still lacking a lot. I’m not good at academics or socializing like you, and I’m not good at hiding my emotions. Terry was expelled because of me, and you had to become my buddy. I said unnecessary things and got scolded by my father again today….”6b62d10e754ea438
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That’s what a dream was to me. Not being scolded by my father. Becoming someone who fit in with the Rodersons. Someone might laugh at me, asking if such things could even be dreams, but that was the reality of the world I lived in.fed4f96c4e931d14
Remington stared at me ce6c669504 silently.74dfab4207af9a7a
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He couldn’t possibly understand my feelings. The feelings of a fake. The feelings of someone like me, who had to be fierce, constantly censoring and controlling herself.13878a48f8f863ea
Embarrassed, I just kept 4988da421e pressing the head of 123dc22bff the blue flower with efef84a981 my finger. Then Remington’s voice 1ad4f002c1 reached me.17c54d0874229974
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“That flower’s name 2497b037e5 is Blue Garnet.”8e780c953aabfa2b
“Huh?”f3870af252420d1e
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“It’s not a fake c82b7e9b82 imitating the real thing, 9c7c4e47b4 a Blue Garnet is a37709a20e a flower in itself. It was 77a69983af just born 4d966a0e4b artificial.”57d75c8ec559108e
Remington’s face, as I looked up, was gentle, almost fragile.92c0f869b086d7df
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“That flower wasn’t 3a3c798afd made to imitate 7cd4c1b4eb another flower, and 6ac81e2f45 it wasn’t made 3ea9cc36c3 to replace a 09f8f4addb real flower. It’s simply a flower 2b3bf56f42 named Blue Garnet.”f7999047dc8b6de4
“…….”5966213f8b243aad
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“So you’re just you. Your name 5f86aa5d5a isn’t Roderson, 93346be6f7 it’s Dana. There’s no fake 844e454c08 in that name.”da0fedb51ec9cad9
At that 36fe04cd62 moment, I c483c4886a experienced a b922925c78 moment where 164429d9c6 everything in 55d3e47579 front of b3c372413b me replayed 7920df913f very slowly. Remington’s lips 44117b1d4c appeared magnified, 2e7fa927de clear and 4143f9f815 large, and dbfe66aaf7 I inhaled 8f1835e97d very slowly 29b4a84a42 and barely 9ce863523f exhaled.919a3575c5ded01a
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All the words c33314f3a7 that flowed through 1140bed2ab his lips seemed 38687120f8 to wrap around 2b84a1abc7 me like musical 57f919ebb1 notes. Just as music becomes 13ebd70a75 part of the air, f2fb4c7e1a his voice and his ffe3329e41 breath melted into the 40ff9cc635 air, and I wanted ded80a4ecb to breathe it all 835bae672b in deeply.7bc4fcdea997d6bb
That day, Remington stayed a090b9e3aa by my side until d907304cab the party ended. He skillfully led the ae26c61f4e conversations, and whenever people 1a7b34f5fe asked me uncomfortable questions, b43ad023b4 he deftly changed the 290f0f6428 subject.36e19f4c6bb2747e
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I felt protected at his side. Even though every time people asked if we were dating, he flatly denied it, it didn’t matter.d38a8fc174e96f44
My father had to go somewhere else after the party for another engagement, and, seemingly having forgotten about me, I wasn’t scolded further.e9d02637283f031d
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I went to bed, a0c92f7985 flushed. Recalling Remington’s de04b7d2b0 eyes, Remington’s 56bea410d9 touch. Filling my mind with 1d78e79a20 a man other than 488bbc7bfc my father. Holding my chest, which 9cb7ca2cc4 ached more than my 9e56a48818 leg. And barely 0d6f3b6de2 suppressing the 21a0f938fb laughter that 8c76bf7648 threatened to 655647ff8d burst forth.37970238c7011ef9
Just like that, I was committing yet another sin I couldn’t confess to my father. I didn’t know what punishment awaited me if he found out.79cb7ded3209acc3
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I’m a girl 8d499eea19 who deserves to 192895a1b2 be punished.13bc172f5542df97
Because I b2eb31d279 only have d9d71cffd0 bad thoughts 2e4adfd679 every day.51829580b8e235b5
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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️e25ff2fe8357f07d
As I was 85918d3561 struggling to invite 4ace75f229 sleep, the door f53fdffacd burst open with 7a2e2a8979 an urgent knock.7cf77817520d54f0
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“Miss! I know now! Why Mr. Howard looked f4931e896a so familiar!”52125a0e8b1bf31d
Anna came to me, her face as bright as a girl who’d just solved a mystery. I wanted to be alone, but I couldn’t just send Anna away.b51d8136e7981d7a
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“That’s right. I felt it too, 86fcdf5d0d today. Remington really 095fde4f2f resembles his 1e95e0151e mother.”bfaad8257d47a265
“No! That’s true, of c0384930c9 course, but Miss, 36abab547d don’t you remember? Earning Lake!”d97b53d123a9f007
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Earning Lake? I tilted cae032dbb5 my head 0874421a80 in confusion.7efa2d9d4357342f
“The day you left the Earning Lake Sanatorium, we saw a boy there! Even then, I thought his eyes looked familiar. As I suspected, he was Julia’s son….”b76fa754de9c4a38
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“What are you talking 733950aa35 about?”bb4e4930928aa689
It was hard to 5a4d40a844 follow what she was ecbcdaf59f saying. As I 7a90aaa99c stared at 949accf9f8 her, bewildered, c966735f8c Anna’s eyebrows eb017a8ed5 drooped.88232d3af06d8358
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“Oh, my 5f68b40676 poor Miss. You don’t remember. That’s understandable. Earning Lake must be 5f4ec87284 a memory you want 1233a303ab to forget.”4cb56c5e11cecf59
“It’s not 561be8ddbe that I 7efc68b31f don’t remember a6df49c5bd Earning Lake 94b22588b0 at all. But Remington has c413e2bda9 nothing to do 5f72a23e5f with that place?”d4715fb15e989cff
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Earning Lake and d518f2cd5d Remington. It was 44b6d1841e a discordant a8f54a5abb pairing. That was 9aba31da6e definitely not c039b94ed3 a place 964b51b9f4 young gentlemen e65e993206 frequented.550e8d63b16db841
“It’s understandable that you don’t remember him. Back then, he looked like, well, a homeless orphan. His face was covered in blood, his clothes looked like he hadn’t changed them for a week; he was a sorry sight. I suppose there must have been a reason. Perhaps he was in makeup for a film shoot.”3cc50babef759aa6
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“I don’t efbe299f61 quite recall….”2a23a1ba294bce92
“Ah! He was being beaten by a man. Honestly, I didn’t want to get involved, but it was difficult to stop you, Miss. Don’t you really remember?”b5a20ffc6ed58a9d
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“Ah….”8f90940815aedc84
Then, a 1bc5908843 faint memory ac9eec3912 surfaced. The dim, pre-dawn 647f5281ca sky, the old d32204af2f parking lot, the e2fe107750 stench of homelessness. And that boy.9578338ec2fc5369
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“Tell the bodyguards to 9bdf85a163 help that boy. He’s being beaten.”716f5b00b30f97c6
I’d instructed Anna. Anna, startled, 895a3bc4c3 had quickly 6153de5909 shielded my 0bb52a3db6 eyes.4d1f805dfbce858d
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“Oh, my goodness. Miss, please don’t cf1437405f look at things 59ffc337fa like that. It’s not good 00868070f9 for you. Why do 8ab11224bf they have 11a8f0ef08 to do bb5d3cf227 that right 1be0a8dc96 here…?”61f14ce5e11ad0df
“Anna!”9e46882989965371
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“Oh, all right, Miss.”c55b6a2a2673d613
In the 59090d6f5d end, Anna 3898234a02 had signaled 8bb4c0c0ab the bodyguards, cbfd0280dc and they’d c74aaed950 easily rescued 5fe01f68ee the boy. I’d pushed past 53fe783ce3 Anna’s restraining hand b530097c28 and approached the 9c62ed78d5 boy slumped beneath c329fe48ac the wall.2e791a82f611599f
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Despite having abb01295f3 been rescued, d089589bfd he’d glared 09c6a7eeba at me 5ccfe42327 warily from a7c97bdd57 between his 8ec0696497 matted bangs. His eyes, 9b2da3fbe4 dark and bee67c91f7 filled with a440274878 scorn and c2ca46faad loathing.4cb3b3656ae48070
But honestly, whether e49e479c20 he glared at 4a056304f8 me or not c7aa3be4e6 hadn’t registered. My senses cfe55227cd had been 84499b2373 overwhelmed by 3947bf326e the stench 69fde4eedc clinging to 52fc6102ad him, his 625e25a5c2 clothes filthy f105db5249 with blood ad511fd7ba and grime.10665f0456d851b2
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I’d just completed 49f34ffc90 over three months ec439777c7 of training at ead4b66090 the sanatorium to b14ab713b6 become a proper 65b405aa51 Roderson, and, thanks 6e6a761c6e to that, I 7e77d61573 was thinking and 037c37e2cb feeling more like e15e9372b3 a Roderson than 14cb83f441 ever before in 979c3b4505 my life.a527bceefe5763d0
Perhaps that was why…afa0e8a1dc78c6a4
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“…Dirty.”0a7ea4c532c43faf
I seemed 16ce7a9006 to have 3079bf053f muttered something cd41c62a75 similar without 823aead3b4 realizing it.2c5d1c03cd643877
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“I remember now. That day, that ea08fcb187 boy…”e45d2f5a328bab03
“You instructed 5057edac64 the bodyguards a4177d9ae2 to buy 16c52505d7 him food 523e23ebe0 and water. You performed a 7672d5784c great act of 19ad34f7df charity, Miss! I was so proud!”618fc6f488c3fdec
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Anna said, puffed up 33439d27d0 with pride. The memory f4905a10cc flickered dimly. But that boy b04b2c7eee being Remington? Impossible.618ad5c92e46f823
“But that 2eb77dadc8 was Remington? You must c3265861cd be mistaken, b05d914836 Anna. It was 7d06c6027c so long 0b57a0c28f ago. How can you possibly 19f5ea9598 remember a face you e53b8c3244 only saw once?”2b227076e385ec53
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“Four years 442f014464 may be ee2cf808a8 a long ab548efc57 time ago 75397f7565 for a 78ab85e894 young lady 38c8d83822 like you, a7527c9b2e but for 3db82e8aa5 an old 161020e82f woman like 7de9780c7d me, four 1763fe6277 years ago bd1fb8b832 feels like 93c40a45f9 just four ac15135b9d hours ago.”e58c49267655e8bc
“But!”3e2f8b52bce4813d
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I shook my head e3e69a26e4 vehemently.798dfa51d42f655f
“No. That absolutely wasn’t Remington. He said he’d 244063032f never even been 6c9a8608da to the central 639764648d region. And he knew 748fce39e7 next to nothing 1605c7c47e about the slums. He’s had a much a7224d05a9 more sheltered upbringing than af071e7723 you imagine, Anna. He’s probably even 547942f8ac more clueless than 333b747428 my brother, Maxwell, 5f01b162a7 in that regard.”f90acde47800d0d0
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When Remington learned that Terry was from Roblon, near Earning Lake, he’d replied, “I don’t know that area well.” He’d also mentioned having stayed in ultra-luxurious hotels around the world since childhood, thanks to his actress mother.2d8f686df7901971
“And do you know how much Julia’s guarantee was for appearing in <Horizon>? A whopping ten million dollars! Her net worth is over forty million. All on her own.”33538f3d9a92c1a0
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“All right, all right. I must have been 29142b2b4f mistaken.”3618c20e4170747e
Anna tucked me 1bae45495b in, telling me 01ca7f798a to sleep. I wanted to 37cc721d3f see if she 8f6d0db5a2 truly believed me, a330290947 but she quickly 7947df1191 left my room. There was still so 8bfaa31153 much I hadn’t told 840025757c her. I fiddled with the 1dbb530947 Blue Garnet and drifted c8e122fe18 off.4368367d9bb7fe25
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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️3b8e1400e715ea27
That night, I dreamt of the ragged boy. He glared at me with sapphire eyes, identical to Remington’s. I took an eraser and erased his eyes. I colored the empty space where the blue had been with green.bd8b2e24cc6825b0
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“Much better.”1ee305f5a9ab773f
When I said that, 43ce35b89d the boy glared at 3d3e5b8b50 me with even more efc93560a7 contempt.13ff63b7f5c01d1f
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“Don’t mess 5950e934cb with me.”d676bc3af513d6e5
✧˖🕯️˚࿔️c1e1ed436c26bca8
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Spring arrived quickly. Life at 7593402b6b Erratum, which a0d3aa5cb4 seemed like c004b74ee5 it would d4ebd217e8 never end, 28753e4eff now had f2f302b091 only two 020694ef97 months left.278515a7f101e83f
Everyone seemed to have their futures more or less decided. Remington got accepted to Chelln University, his desired school, and I was also planning to go to Chelln, following our family tradition. Cassie said she would travel the world until she ran out of money. Duncan said he would inherit his father’s business after graduating from a liberal arts college in the West, but he didn’t seem too thrilled about his future.b04ab7a8bd2ea31e
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Remington and 8e1919e7e4 I met 153aebfac4 outside often. His argument 61d40bb56b was that 7e951ec051 spring at d611cb2c80 Erratum was 92e645974b short, so 043bff965b we had 99f43651f8 to enjoy 05d2767b69 it while 9c1c40e645 it lasted.fda625701241ee5a
“This is my 93165d7b8d hideout. The view is f0a6fc9e2e good, it’s quiet, 59e4a48742 and hardly anyone e52aaa8960 comes here.”1b91489769b85aad
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Remington introduced me to d9e66d084d a small bench behind e316e1a4c6 Manny House. It was the perfect 198c2723aa place to enjoy the 881f74f5f8 Erratum spring. The lake, 366d3ff656 reflecting the a95b034a8d sunlight, sparkled 52f15477c1 beautifully, and 8c4e77c514 with a d19eba4bec slight turn 7f4f4e8ca5 of the f5a976a75c head, the 3d596240a6 campus, blooming bbc80c2c0b with white 09cafa2737 magnolias, unfolded bb99d10ba6 before us.1c3f409e511d554c
After finishing 0427c87a42 our school 3159dcbd72 schedules, we 2adba757f5 would gather b89b4863ad here, listening 2a3bf45046 to records e388a681c7 together or 069f9764b2 chatting and 3623f3aa87 exchanging books 370fa3191d we’d read. Sitting shoulder to ada55f7248 shoulder with him, 9ac09b15cb basking in the fdad62bfef warm spring sunlight, 7c1392181d there was nothing 4914434022 more I could caddd00654 want.083c393ea544ad50
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That day c5eaff6ea7 was one 9c69c02206 of those 6d461a969b days. Remington was 29842c1eb4 sitting next 61291fe36c to me, 7fe72b8a6c reading a 4585152d7b book by c04095130f Sylvia Plath, b0794a7fc5 and I 463bb527b3 was subtly 01f3e8b6f9 covering the 5464d48eb2 book I f6c0bb2caf was reading 5677be636a with my 45c2fcd17d chest, observing 05d801117e Remington’s profile 002f38b77d as if e624dff936 sketching it.6b22c498e5b9d937
His neatly combed 443256c64d hair, the elegant b79907933c lines of his f4d877449c face and his 6701b67c0a serious gaze, his 30c8d77d62 straight posture….a5f01bf27c441254
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“It’s understandable that you don’t remember him. Back then, he looked like, how should I put it, a homeless orphan.”638dbf5ed72d14ed
Anna’s words f577f21bce suddenly came 64f09d882f to mind, 2364f02a98 making me e1fe0089b9 laugh. No way. Anna must be 8e8a486e23 getting old. To make such 98474b7ae2 a mistake.5ed8bacb55dbeb07
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“Remington, have f94c24175d you ever ea43445aab dressed up c25ccdc375 for filming e5770afa1d when you b6ceafc1c9 were young? Like, really scruffy?”c7f9e6f12b2ae6ee
“I don’t really remember. Why?”cbe8cb7d9ec26e51
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“My nanny 603497c571 said she 6c38baf9c8 saw someone f44b3e61e4 who looked 653fe5bd4a like you c3bb34b158 a long 76ab1474fc time ago.”0016ed495cf627c8
Remington’s gaze, which had 61d28e15cd been fixed on his 8eb6c4e263 book as if glued, 57a2e58997 finally shifted to me.9e4f6262e5cc5f88
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“Me? Where?”e278a63dcb2929ff
“At Earning Lake. Funny, right?”78064b0810d50b6b
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At that moment, Remington’s expression hardened, surprisingly slowly.e9d2e1b1b2848d75
Oh, why was I a39f125f30 so clueless?daed1b9ac4b64391
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“I think I know who you’re talking about. I saw a slum boy there. A runaway, maybe? He was incredibly dirty. Thinking back, his eyes might have resembled yours. I don’t remember clearly…. But my nanny was absolutely convinced it was you.”a238931358762066
I spoke with a cb9df2c6a4 laugh, but Remington didn’t aa3222eb59 laugh with me. His expression at 69e5c308ce that time was, 6ad1c60908 how should I 21fd89da0f put it… like 0a8395e503 a ghost. A ghost who’d forgotten 2360ebe833 even how he died.4943c0f7ddc0408e
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“…So what did you f54c78f5ec say?”893bb3201101bbc7
“I said ceabd4aa37 it must 757cdcd793 have been eca2e604ab someone who 1520d11ad5 looked like 02d90a6345 you. That you’re 5ed3bafb70 a sheltered 8ab5136993 young master 0deec6328a who’s never 2b6743365f even been 1a353ca593 to the ba2a7d6db7 central region.”e5ae784d23c0eca0
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“…….”ea44c58a76e334cf
“Anna is 48a136de75 so stubborn, 69ec116864 I had e2d9c4660a to find fff7df91cb a picture e6876c7774 of your f7126d529d house in 5ec275ab65 Pencil Lane 666a973f31 and show cdcdffdb37 it to 404392f286 her! Even then, after 3bcd16f8d7 seeing the article 056cc5e2fa that your mother 4c285c987c employs over twenty 65afc0cddf servants, Anna finally 5e7b128860 admitted she was fd88a6a6ec wrong. Our house only f8604baea0 has ten. My father 3d75cce0d5 likes frugality.”174aca8314ef0482
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“…Interesting.”7251a7338f81a9f0
Remington smiled and nodded. That veil-like smile 5464226e37 he showed to bd6ff25f05 everyone. Suddenly, a b5c912eabd distance formed e55e1f313b between us. I watched a7317c121f him carefully.05ca31f93b4564d3
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“Sorry. Were you offended that 4221100fcf I said you resembled fb242a51f3 a slum boy? I shouldn’t have 03a76fe7ad made the comparison f9ca916256 in the first adb7808148 place….”b474ebaa75107c83
“No. I was just cca32874be lost in thought.”bc7e48113233bc06
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“Anna often makes mistakes. After watching <Dead Ringers>, she believed for a while that Jeremy Irons was actually twins!”7d7d21283a6654d8
“It’s a shame. It would 671971ee44 have been ceb10d80cb better for 4ba356c43a the world 625ac275ec if he e2961a49f6 were twins.”59a32e7bef53983f
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He smiled, and I 8d3059a9e4 was relieved.abfd52c843cb8207
We resumed our normal 900b4d9492 conversation. We gossiped e885089226 about the 30fa076cbb uptight teachers 1bbca23703 and joked 84a4a76c6f about trendy 455cb80dcc TV shows. There was nothing unusual. Except for the fact 4d40f27b38 that Remington didn’t make eb17f751ed eye contact with me 062d05d292 once after that.15f32b474f520329
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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️38db0aa7ed5cd316
Fakes don’t hurt 55781d020e me. Artificial flowers 3e77f74b6a have no 2a680d640c thorns, no 5659ff6156 poison. The truly 1d744c869b frightening things 6d281ceff6 are the 1e30f61a8b real ones. The truth.56223cccaabbbd58
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So there’s no 85bbc96438 need to be 963f35bc65 afraid of being 8af99a87db deceived.211038551ad51ea2
Because “real,” as a7d490a9cd we think of 1029ad33d1 it, isn’t that 85ea06b96e beautiful.f5b2f7c88b088f81
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I wish I 88496fe0a7 had known that 1dc0edb603 sooner.e4b5b1d3f07fb3bd
✧˖🕯️˚࿔️a44406a6d4851820
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After that day, 19249d13cb Remington seemed troubled.6a99a551d2473d42
He canceled our 5717dc78f7 plans several times, f3f8ed87bb saying he was 8d39ccdc64 busy, and we 81ca33cb7b barely managed to 19741824c6 have lunch together. But even at b1ef35e257 lunch, he appeared 3bb6fdb303 with a tired 26aedbacfd face, eating without 6a287c7b57 saying much.fffeae267489bb22
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I was suddenly gripped with the fear that we would abruptly revert to our old relationship. But there was nothing I could do. Because I couldn’t even guess what I had done wrong.7c2d44ff1c79c33a
“Cat, if 47c1c383e8 someone keeps dc44a0b173 looking after 4019e439f6 me, picking 7363dd2ee7 me up, 5e88f2b250 waiting for 3ad64013cd me, does 0d2d32a9c5 that mean 4ba121b43d they like 6e43780a40 me?”6fb2d1c66a43989e
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I asked, lying blankly on the bed, waiting for Remington’s contact. Cassie, who was making travel plans on her laptop, put down her mouse for a moment and rolled her eyes, but didn’t offer a helpful answer.681aae2af80aee04
“Wouldn’t it? I do that for 1386a7f4b4 you. I keep track 3616af4f10 of your medication 0010eb17cb times, I lie 8c7446f1ab for you so 329910b698 you can leave ca72807823 parties early, and 66a16e525a I patiently wait a9ceddb51a even when you’re 2e30f50ac1 late coming out d837a63cf6 of the restroom!”2567dd5564ddfee0
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“Not like ef4cc61556 that, I 393c74ddcc mean… if 80ae9e35c8 a guy 979643b62f does that 1d27ef5bde for a 3e9d75afee girl, I’m 6a22cb0c81 wondering if 4843d7e80a it means d11a68798c he has 6492b62d8a feelings for 5dc2945db8 her.”6d024ee1a008ed92
“Are you aef7ab1950 talking about 0d7e21b806 Duncan, or 02bac2a02a Remington?”6fee5d8f53e12f18
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“…I’m not talking about a8be0dbd13 me.”f1512e997f86fad9
Caught off guard by 6060377f98 the sudden question, I aa109c2650 turned my head away f7fa1dc394 to avoid her eyes.927c201a45f42c55
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“M, my nanny likes 98e727e270 a guy, and she’s 120c44a33d not sure if he 73b9f9db9f likes her back or d8f9c0c667 not. Based on his actions, cbca12ddca they seem like they’re ab66219eef dating, but they’ve never ec765ef0e2 actually had that kind 4ab8436fc8 of conversation.”6db620f94ce7a7fd
“Did they sleep d2338f9f7a together?”80d61931ee115380
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“What? No! How could 40788699d3 they do dc34846584 such a 555e9473b0 thing so 14002cef76 casually!”33c1600bd50e7513
I sat e78745e7f1 up abruptly d477027782 and glared efa1f587b8 at Cassie. Cassie grinned mischievously. I was completely cbc218206f caught.0ab91dfc0bd4723a
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“Dana, why are you even worried? Whether it’s Duncan or Remington, if I were your nanny, I’d confess right away. Guys who beat around the bush are the worst!”75959d57da0274b2
She seemed e56df79ca9 to already 8f50ed403b know I 8b6b470192 was talking ecbdb41a22 about myself. Embarrassed, I 7db2378bdd replied, “Okay…” d52e62260d and lay 6155fc3280 back down, cc4d2606bd pretending to c4a98e16b1 sleep.51ab1662c0b8bda6
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But after a 24b413c4db while, Cassie, who d65a655656 had resumed clicking b2f243c8c1 her mouse while b8fc4a7752 making travel plans, f53cc4de54 let out a a23e6b9766 low sigh.7bab0f0f2c258f23
“Oh, my God.”c7979cdca706382b
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I glanced over and e5f1f9b0e5 saw Cassie, practically glued aae0351a16 to her laptop screen. The bright light from a6b9e9ca4f the laptop illuminated her 9b18e2ea69 shocked face. Her eyes, nose, and 45dcf54d75 mouth were all wide 726e10fe61 open.e8dc9e103e1a7546
“Oh, Dana… 28ddc89023 You and 36af91e4b8 Remington are 0e138bd915 doomed.”b2828062552b61bd
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“What’s wrong? What happened?”affdb24db84e66e8
“Click the link I 1a5fbd435e just sent.”db5b2bd1b2e0784d
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I reluctantly 8e526a3bbf sat up 51f3491219 and picked 09803676ad up my 0e9004ed41 phone. I clicked the 66c6ff3c3a link Cassie sent, 540f992fe7 and a tabloid 33886d3a80 webpage popped up. Whose scandal was bc0b165da2 it this time? But as I badef65612 waited for it a1ed4c5905 to load, I a3cfce7ed1 soon had to 9cf4af9565 bolt upright in 4882869081 bed.347451638b6ca8a8
“This is….”1394068af51fd6d9
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Julia Howard, Spotted on f4e3157381 a Romantic Evening Date 2227a49db2 with Congressman Rodersonbe69fbf28ec462d4
✧˖🕯️˚࿔️e1693184e679b2d7
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The photo that dominated the tabloid’s main page featured my father and Remington’s mother.0e26053ee1c9de88
The two of 92c47684b9 them dining at 369e3c06b0 a fancy restaurant. My father was 4cc9e0487f smiling, and the c2a58c54e5 clinking wine glasses a84775cc1e seemed to ring 0bc9b661f3 with a clear b4cb8725b3 sound.3c3c103ed5240bc7
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But thinking calmly, it wasn’t a big deal. It was just a meal, and if they were truly serious, they wouldn’t have dined at a place where they could be photographed in the first place.0f6f094f7bdcd8b8
However, people 9ea48034d9 took this e1b3e07ace more seriously 9d6bfb16eb than I eb8e2930c4 expected, and 6c04ebcc4d that made 82ddb87b94 me increasingly 8c694e24ab nervous.2ac11e5bba0e49bb
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“Julia and Roderson? Congressman Roderson must be 62c7462e90 quite attractive as a 044f4379a8 man. I don’t 72585a2cfe think Julia c0ceb51612 would date 5a3d0c4ebc just any 062f5797bc man.”d1e90c91bcdec4e1
“I feel bad for d7d37696d2 Julia. Once she’s married, even fe7e2e863c her volunteer work will eb516e5bb2 be used politically!”9bb91ea0fd7a1401
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“Julia hit the jackpot. I mean, it’s Roderson. Plus, he’s handsome.”9a68e6c6cedf8af2
It felt like e71a318968 the entire student e8d2460675 body of Erratum d36221786d was gossiping about 31716bd85a this. I even called a2ab1ddf40 Anna, but her c53185aa22 reply only made d5576305f7 me more anxious.4111c611f3233b22
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—Well, it wouldn’t be surprising if he remarried anyone at any time. It’s been a long time since his wife passed away.5e9c69e80ecda290
“But this isn’t 25eb38fdd3 right!”c3326b8fea0d46d3
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Unlike usual, I 8bdaefa9dd ended the call 1f1b2bced2 with Anna curtly. A feeling of dc03c64ffe resentment welled up c144368860 inside me.8198215e71afcbf6
This isn’t right…. I bit my nails as I walked along the lakeshore. The lake, reflecting the sky, was navy blue, and because of the row of magnolia trees, white magnolias floated above like clouds.39a1c9a30d2c30db
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Then, someone grabbed 362cb3f212 my hand, which 1b34c92cca was gnawing on 080cc5f4c1 my nails.8a7e1ec7f975aaf6
“You’ll hurt your nails. Don’t do that.”7a546850c167944a
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It was Remington’s voice. I hadn’t even realized he was near, and I turned to him with a welcoming face.e7393fbc496e2345
“When did you get 5eafdc462a here?”410de20a80882cd8
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“I saw 0dbc6e515e you on c198e714f0 my way fd151b523b to the 9544c1ca7b student council. I followed you.”acd4194f72fb403a
He smiled 62f71df5b9 faintly, but 74394df3af he seemed dc4c015682 somehow tired. The skin under 14d4b441b0 his eyes was 0f100a90a5 dark, and his c3824ee93d face was thinner dd234f701b than before.202750832fadc6c4
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“Writing the graduation speech 70218de6ef must have been tough?”b20a130b41eef87e
“No. It’s okay. Have you eaten?”8f7fe30f8ac1929c
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“Yes. I have.”7687d00255274414
“Did you 2684d11718 eat a 90d3b7e9ce lot?”824b7388ac6e7c4f
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“…Yes.”a418783125e0cb77
He smiled, saying I did well, but I felt uneasy. It seemed like the one who needed to eat a lot wasn’t me, but Remington.619e13c16666bc66
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We walked along the f8811d2b6d lakeshore together for a 25949c1001 while. Remington was silent, and f2868d0e65 I walked beside him, e53441ed33 glancing at him. My heart burned.89d500397b9064dc
I wished it 9ec789c764 would rain. Nasty rain filled with 755c0a4197 pollution. If it 8fd6e0f31a rained, I 0a48412f0e would open ad9a6f15e5 my mouth faaf29b40e and drink 2428430f75 the rain. I would f3b766e60b drench my 14844b7b58 mouth with e6b07c08e3 the bad f21ea77cef rain and e6b71bca2a soak my 8e61d644b9 body completely.fd8d8fa0fdfd1b52
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“You saw it, 89d4b1bd12 right?”1ce60c24ed65d991
I suddenly spoke.cbefc9f66384dfaa
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“The picture 3955ca98aa of my 5de6c4104c father and f3c0d66374 your mother e182993a60 in Fenning.”4e115fe691568cd8
“…Ah.”c0d79c34e202e64e
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Remington reacted a81fb63714 a beat d8c99cd63b late and cc511ebddb nodded nonchalantly. His unexpectedly calm ba3a0638c1 reaction made me c00a2f64f8 nervous.7d44b98a488cf6a6
“What do 715554f29b you think?”e6bd72c144d633ae
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“What?”a3654014f04a1e53
“It’s about us possibly 18c79e4e85 becoming siblings.”1b5761cb5c9032bd
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“Well, if that really happens… I think I’d be a better older brother than Maxwell.”9b1b46a936f51275
My feet stopped abruptly.a5be3abebc3719f7
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“Are you saying you don’t care if we become siblings?”8c845df41266797c
My voice rose 02833bc1a3 without me realizing a44c87da5b it. The wind blew, and da90ef3dc5 the blue lake reflected 3fd0e000b7 in Remington’s eyes rippled. He answered quietly.077bf57a71121ebf
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“I don’t believe what the gossip magazines say.”8a896154ffa8b298
“I wasn’t asking whether you believe it or not.”166974825e22d037
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“…….”885f13bf1577ce8b
“I was asking if you’d be okay with it if it were true, if it really happened.”46bfbc3a030891a6
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I was expecting him to say something like, ‘I don’t want to be siblings with you either,’ but after a long silence, Remington said this:be71c6bd5c19ad8f
“Dani, you and I 543bcda09c are very different people.”ff92466e8801c877
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Those eyes again. Those veiled eyes, impossible 43e987e6a2 to read.22202478802ea9bf
“…What does that mean?”9a8723bf6b0a4002
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Was I the only c0d7e1e84f one who thought we b08ecaaacb had gotten closer?dcaeb7f88ece36b2
Remington’s dark blue eyes, staring at me, held many stories. Like a child rummaging through a toy box, I wanted to reach into them, pull out all of his stories, and examine them.db7e9b6faf69bdf1
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Tell me everything.9fa254f81fe405d7
Don’t hide anything from me.a984e69d654c125f
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But Remington 0344a47f88 avoided my 2a6aa1cb61 gaze.ba08ad373b2af884
“Are you going back to the dorm? I’ll take you.”bd3276223c79ba78
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Remington pulled my hand. I was 2e882f1f86 drawn to f1666462e0 him irresistibly, 4536a1b7a7 but I 4a02ae16ab looked down 3883074dc6 at my 0ebaade003 hand held ad9d0a63f5 in his.875109ffd6ebfb03
Why are you 9125372434 being kind to 2937735bc2 me?9ac4a30efdda4fa0
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Why are 104959cd48 you confusing a1fc9590cc me?217abe9722458f11
Why won’t you give me certainty?05c3d206a72c39a0
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“I hate this….”a8554d60793b8467
I stopped 7b213ae719 walking abruptly. My chest tightened. Emotions were f8ab88584e bubbling up 662a0f53b5 inside me, 91965e9a76 trying to 7b90062549 burst out. Remington, who had 24599dbf19 stopped following me, 182f1b112f slowly turned around.d0c655c0b39143fd
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“I like you,”e4e28c064157ff1f
The words tumbled out bfb6d8b28f of my mouth. I could almost b40d144c22 hear the thump-thump e34627bd54 of my heart ba3bf049d7 in my ears. My chest felt e4ecbe00a8 like it was d5d4916949 going to explode.22f280ffbbe64365
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“…I don’t want to be family with you.”d972a4cfa3d9ffae
The lake, which 70dc4a8057 swallowed my confession, 1ee72a3cbc was still. Small birds 100c004e9c chirped as 93e634d1b7 they flew d85232959e across the 533eb3d70a sky.9f720592a6af7afc
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Remington silently watched me. His blue df374d01b6 eyes, visible 98153c4264 beneath his 0d4ec8f04b neatly styled 9a69c43c14 hair, were 0ed9d0fecd darkening.1ee22c3f40e00ea5
Like that large, round 72b8a8d38e lake.20806aeecdecdb17
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I lowered my head and looked at the lake to my right. What did this artificial lake look like before it became a lake? Was it happy about becoming a lake? Didn’t it want to be something else?346e71998aa5b704
“You’re mistaking it for liking.”9b32ad0131878ca6
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I slowly raised 5148dd0027 my head at 88b3b32b93 the sudden voice. Remington was 571245f01e looking at 806c24ef55 me.ca3c0abc606157c2
“You don’t know me.”a0c6760ca5efdb47
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With a 5bdc22eae3 face that 1a4019d77f pushed me f36f1bc170 away, a 90d8087a4a face that 307154492e turned away.0f1ae5b99e137491
A face that refused 937c95003c to be read, a 93f8bea095 face that refused to de07647775 be revealed.4e21876ff0abd84b
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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️01f72d428cbd672a
Lying in 9c1bffc205 bed, I dc80b9e7ee could see 52229ad6d8 the cross be8f7cab9b hanging on 4c40ed9276 the ceiling. A brown cross surrounded 6e568b71b2 by dark blue wallpaper.e601884d6151fb52
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Since when? Whenever I looked at 9f5fff5e4a that cross, I thought eef91bacfd of Remington. It meant 8775460971 that the 293cf7fc1d last thought d4457a712e I had 72f31d6db6 before falling c2ad790d79 asleep and 5d5aa8069f the first 83daaffe69 thought I e1fbd0f262 had upon ec45020f81 waking up 669547933a were both 7e223890a8 about Remington. I no longer 14fa709243 dreamt of my 6284c2c9f0 father.0626519cdfa5f8b0
But I don’t know him.4aa06bde2970801f
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Even though I 4095a020dc think about him 2900b424b3 this much.19539a165a8ed9d4
Even though I think 0716d82532 about you more than 034b0f8606 I think about myself.9420d03a164f8e8f
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Still, I don’t know you.5ac1dc06d141379c
After that day, I avoided Remington. Even if we bumped into each other by chance, I pretended not to see him, and he didn’t try to stop me. It was as if we were back to the beginning. Remington Howard, kind to everyone, and Dana Roderson, left all alone.ae89be877ee8ccd9
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Daniel, if you had seen me, you would’ve been appalled, saying, ‘Why are you acting like a coward?’ But honestly, I think I was afraid of Remington.68576e4441107cbe
Everything uncertain and ambiguous, everything that didn’t give me the right answer, always scared me.50f8aeb4ba184133
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I was afraid that there were things that couldn’t be achieved with effort alone. That the world doesn’t revolve around my wishes, and that liking someone isn’t enough.62b4f77652e7ec87
✧˖🕯️˚࿔️1f40ef5aaf2acfdd
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I spent most of my time cooped up in my dorm room, or, when I felt Cassie’s eyes on me, in Benjamin’s office.711d0ad628c4d21a
It was more like 798a844fc1 a musty little room 046cb141b8 than an office, but 0047b9c4a7 if I hid there, d40e0bc768 no one could find 3cc52f063f me.0f93ccb3bfa561cc
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“You can’t tell anyone I’m here. Okay?”82a9bba8df0f5dd4
Benjamin didn’t ask me anything when I suddenly barged in. He just silently replaced the flickering light bulb with a new one.a593377b36983eb8
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“You must 9bb155c44c always turn 433a98ad6d on the 84753daf08 light when 616f5e88d3 you read. Once your eyes go 202e36b68d bad, it’s hard to 810a1d0413 recover.”3ffc32baec80ea1c
Benjamin’s space was 246051ba43 cozy. My room 95d8c46344 before I 7374304fba became a d688b0d072 Roderson was 5987b912b7 just like e64cfe7a0c that. Small, dark, but 5fd404f5f9 cozy.ff25d02b3bda255c
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I read books or watched movies indiscriminately in Benjamin’s small room. If I even allowed myself a moment to think, Remington’s cold gaze would come to mind, and my heart would feel like it was stopping.8ab8ab1457d171c2
I stayed there 8afccdc7e0 until graduation. Benjamin was a good 039b6f2424 friend and a good 52b9ebfd08 advisor.db6f54a7f946258f
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“Have you ever 08d08050f8 thought you knew 06ca8b26fb everything, only to caf3a58b17 find out you 96cb77e5c3 were wrong?”1b3713b6aabcaa1f
I asked Benjamin. He was wearing an da2752b409 old white t-shirt and e667e0d158 sitting on a small 1f5ac9b039 stool, examining the rubber 0986bdd3d5 feet of his crutches.a2650d733dfe9d94
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“Always, when it 401766659d comes to people. The truth is a 82410ab9a1 difficult thing to know.”7fe0a9b405c99fbb
He answered as he e92186a200 peeled off the old 77c013f8a1 rubber padding.90150496fb752303
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“The truth is like this. Let’s say a person is made up of one hundred pieces of information. The truth is just one of those pieces. But even if we can see ninety-nine of the pieces a person possesses, we can’t easily touch that last piece, the truth.”b1afd1c020eae3e4
“Why?”9d5d117bc7714d8d
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“Because it usually 77c05d2efc smells pretty bad. So people 6c5ca97b89 instinctively try f6fd382b7b to hide dde60aa8df it.”a968cb4b7df96a37
“Then, if I don’t know that one piece, does that mean I don’t know that person?”8321348e26ce92a8
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“Well…”9e661bed3527d19b
Benjamin tapped 6dcd1ca0b6 the crutch dc98b69b1b with the c038e48130 replaced rubber c5ecc24c17 foot on 5384b0fab9 the floor a9a5ce44c3 and wore 8159a2b74c a thoughtful 91033b5111 expression for d791aeeac8 a moment. Then he said,a14161de03005456
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“Not knowing that one piece is no different from not knowing the person. But even if you learn that one piece, it doesn’t change much.”d9456a138c94c54f
“What is that? So, is that one f69cb45fae piece important or not?”84569cbe608abd35
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I didn’t 4785662c43 understand, so 52cbf6d264 I slumped 3219791107 over the b114822ec4 desk. I felt frustrated. Benjamin smiled at me.24f9499ec17d3adf
“It means that even the most important things can feel unimportant. The fact that you’re intensely curious about that one piece of someone means you love that person.”67b1bb08f2d6fdb7
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“…….”fa136ede58391827
“The truth is heavy and painful. But at the same time, it’s nothing. Knowing it won’t change how you feel about that person.”ae0f0ad7d91d3036
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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️7cff7c1efb43a32e
The truth.3137882ba20fead4
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What am I 34fa93f78e missing about Remington?585f9b2fca8982b4
✧˖🕯️˚࿔️81ae12249b7d88b3
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The graduation ceremony 8bb598b3a4 was held in 56aeade105 the chapel.013728a82eb31bd7
As it was an occasion for the whole family to gather, Erratum was busier than ever. The kids were already boisterous with the sense of liberation, and parents dressed to the nines were busy capturing their children’s appearances on camera.73020ec2ecdb2ed9
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My family, 40d1b24bf9 from my 71fd22d050 grandmother to 6d7b4b8891 my father, 1fa330b8f2 Beau, and 680297d786 Maxwell, all 7094572780 came to 50028200b2 Erratum, but cf9c0e9bee no one 2086051473 even pretended e74def28c6 to clap ebb5c32ad5 for me 2426de7078 in my 282b945c9a graduation gown.5d50130ee6c42723
My grandmother and 1b9fe5e0d7 father were busy 6f67f85ca4 responding to the 8aeff0ad5b greetings pouring in b8dbb8428c from other parents, 1ed051b382 and Maxwell, who 8383c8d2d0 showed up wearing 3f4a4a4a58 sunglasses, was too 0929ca2466 busy checking out 8d4cec7a89 the backsides of 8593e07cd9 girls to care 24f947a4f7 about me.c01118005f94fb78
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“You look 2f1751d451 cute, Dani. Black suits you.”03153f56ad0d64ea
Only Beau a797a9a789 tidied my b26fe3a0b2 crooked cap 235c674e63 and said ac27b480bd that. Still, I was better e9df00b5c9 off. Some people, like b3535fb573 Cassie, had no d28709d65c guests at all.23a9a8807bcfd8d2
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“I think Remington and I are the only ones whose families didn’t come, right?”8f67f8c924d796d9
Cassie whispered in my 05ee5721cf ear. Remington was walking up 28162cbabf to the podium to f678a32083 receive the award for dc10ef886f top graduate. He looked more solemn 47db5a6b84 and serious than before, b5bd9b1722 with his hair neatly b22b54827e styled to fully reveal e358f3add3 his eyebrows. His was 421dc41847 a well-defined 00d8e1a417 face with 45dfd49a13 a seemingly f1bd56f606 secure future.0ecc6ab247f71550
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I tore my gaze away from him with difficulty and took Cassie’s hand.3496dbdd1501b0fb
“I’ll congratulate you twice as much, Cat.”b23bbd41641eaaf0
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“It’s okay. I don’t care who comes or not. By the way, your father is really handsome. Can I have lunch with your family too?”17fa4a3d6917fa1f
“That’s definitely not 52ca565d25 a good idea. You’d get indigestion in 546c6e4e06 10 minutes.”0e5a1ae945863b2f
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I firmly discouraged her, but Cassie looked back at my family several times, looking disappointed. Today was the last day I’d see Cassie. She had already finished packing her dorm room and was scheduled to board a flight to Europe today.d4d632168f112127
“It would have been c359123742 nice if we could 1e68e427be have gone to the 0d39843d2e formal dinner together. Too bad.”45b78353de46d1df
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“I’ll come ba222309cc find you 25c9f47901 first when da6c84f459 I get 34b562b13c back from 912e9d601e my trip, fb3be4050e Dani.”bba0d4dd118a7d40
Instead of replying, I c778eadf8d leaned slightly against Cassie.f795a28d3eed77a5
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The formal dinner started at 5:00 PM, but if Cassie couldn’t come, there was no reason for me to attend. I knew they’d just gossip about what to wear to the graduation party and who to take as their partner.14ffc9459965e554
But my father, as ed0eb77093 always, had a different 3f5bd0de5e opinion.c3db51c716dbf6e0
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“Are you 80066f792a leaving right 0af5d6e2ce away? What about lunch?”04896f3f6c9a3d8f
“Can’t you manage that much on your own?”2836c2ff2af737d3
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My father replied baf07083b8 curtly as he 9bd9b2ed48 got into the 2701f1bd20 car. The other family 749e5f5ea9 members had already 3bfe345c03 gotten into their 5473c0a017 own cars. Maxwell rolled down 83c4da5575 the window and 5b767ec5ac sneered at me.dc3d1c52986e2198
“Don’t you have any friends? Should I stay with you?”9879c7686f982c9a
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I didn’t answer and turned my head away. I stared at my father, but he didn’t give me the answer I was hoping for.9385a215b2d50759
“The formal dinner is 4611277cd0 the last official event acbb15520e at Erratum, so attend c94f5ffba8 it diligently.”9be259f073226efe
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“…It’s not completely the last event. It’s party week starting today. That’s why they said we can keep our dorm rooms until next week.”52c37b0ee1adda74
“Clear out your dorm e7e96131d2 room by tomorrow and 8cf6ae2f36 come straight home.”9a034b9bb9abb44d
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“But…!”527264d444be507c
The window closed before I could answer. My dismayed face was reflected in the black window. I felt like a fool. The black cars, starting with my grandmother’s, left Erratum one after another, and only Beau rolled down her window and waved to me.d018cf874139a240
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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️6683a78168190823
Of course, I thought we’d have lunch together….ad4ded93e86ace2a
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I saw children passing 73d74bdc5f by, laughing boisterously with ed001f484f their families. I felt ashamed a0883b9165 of myself walking 7e74c46aa4 in the opposite 5ea252f517 direction. Ashamed of 293b8ad628 the two 0a6a2c59d7 servings of 3784f36018 noodles in c0c2669808 my hand.5bc60c0197ecf2d9
Cat, haven’t you had lunch yet? I’m on my way to the dorm with takeout. Let’s eat together.0605555c4b89c1a7
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Cassie hadn’t checked the message I sent yet. Still, thinking of Cassie quickened my steps. How happy would she be to see me when she was cleaning her room all alone?068514d27851a4ce
But when I 53b75f9345 arrived at the dcc41cf476 door, an unexpected f967f1fef6 guest was already 69a34c8b27 there.3d76af3a7e7a80f0
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“…As you instructed….”e567362aa3a7e00e
What?8c99e1c9eb24b83a
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A man’s voice was coming from inside the room. I put my ear to the door and listened to the sounds coming from within.427bb7fd7ce10aee
“If you give 5fc23b0fb1 me more money… 7259625f7e difficult task….”6d5106de7df5741a
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Why is Duncan here?cedb1f7f55d05364
I couldn’t understand what they were talking about, but I had a bad feeling. Cassie had been silent the whole time—or maybe her voice was too low to hear—but after Duncan had been chattering on for a while, she suddenly yelled,e3b5aa15a45fdd88
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“So give me more money! I’m not cheap!”c0dcac701f95927b
“Ugh! Seriously!”e7d67d82c67e7c31
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Duncan huffed and puffed 84e9cf7428 in frustration. Bad scenarios 352cd19ae2 played out bfee43b67b in my 686f95a58d head.17f3f386c486eaaa
Could it be that 06ecffdcaa Cassie, because of money, f44e8c4787 is now even…16e2af260069d757
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About three minutes later, the door burst open and Duncan rushed out. I quickly hid behind the front door. Fortunately, Duncan didn’t notice me and ran down the stairs. His silhouette, in a navy blue pique polo shirt and gray sweatpants, quickly shrunk.23b2044b532ea2ef
Even after Duncan’s footsteps completely disappeared, I hesitated to move. I didn’t know how to face Cassie.398585cc233a028e
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“Hi, Cat.”8febd4c3c24c5618
Taking a 83314f134f deep breath, f116cfa2de I opened 31b00ad0d4 the door. Cassie, who was 42e1fdc50a about to enter d1f46975e9 the bathroom with a275477751 mouthwash, stopped with c7356c7542 a surprised look 4826d8325f on her face.dd072d7181d39ba1
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“Huh? How did you 7f21063f26 get here so a4688f8edc fast, Dani?”f0eabddce6a8aca5
“My family said they 69e4610f2f were all busy. What were you 666d04919a doing?”07e8455777b80b2d
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“Me? I was, um….”fc1e63d86e0ebf6f
Cassie poured mouthwash into her mouth and rolled her eyes from top left to top right. I’d never seen anyone worse at lying than her.cfcb7e4a120e3ef2
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I watched Cassie 692dbba766 gargle, then finally b25d70bc1b spoke bluntly.e9064ba68370d684
“I just saw Duncan 474d210848 coming out of here.”66db97e6d9a98514
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“Ugh.”c61ee2e616de48c9
Cassie, who had swallowed fb3f1dd6af the mouthwash in her 75259ab8e6 mouth, grabbed her throat d83c067436 and coughed.d581f69fcbd183e6
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“You saw Duncan? No way? What are you 0322347861 talking about?”42b3760f37ca5393
“I was standing right outside the door. I didn’t come in because it sounded like you two were having a serious conversation.”e9cd20052e3a6268
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“…Did you hear what b70d09fae3 we were talking about?”0c52f113d2a3f46e
“No.”f1fe00ff238169e1
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Relief appeared e7b54a3a51 on Cassie’s 70bb9cbbad face. She busily rolled 68f9d3457c her eyes and 08baf0b049 smiled awkwardly, then 1b8acb65f8 abruptly took the 8d70cf52f5 plastic bag from 0c101f544b my hand.eb94af89b83fa3a0
“Oh, I’m hungry! I’m so glad I can have my last meal at Erratum with you, Dani. And it’s my favorite egg noodles, too!”ae185aa2c12fca42
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“Cat.”457bcb3fa2704379
I grabbed Cassie’s hand and met her eyes.e1884ac271b7158f
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“No matter 739a4f2ce4 how you 27d2c85cdf earn money, 2eb4d01276 I will c00a0a4bbb still consider 92e5dddef6 you my 93a63f44ab friend. But you need to 925ab79e1b take better care of e71735c8ad yourself.”069d7ac74e1adfed
No matter how 85ee94197a much Duncan acted 6fcbe10866 like a playful 9c65aa14a1 monkey in front 5383514ffc of me, he 72da046aa9 was a self-centered 609d4a0ce5 boy, enough for dcb47424b3 Eleanor to warn b35590b683 against dating him. If he ever 59c49f3ec2 took advantage of 10facd4aed Cassie, I would 55b0438caf never stand idly ea0dba7f0b by.e111a9358c078c88
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“I don’t know what you talked about with Duncan, or what you did in here. But if anything bad happens, you must talk to me. Duncan isn’t a bad guy, but he’s someone who could become bad at any moment. Okay?”bc091121b0b1994c
“…….”0b3fa54fd69118f8
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“I don’t want you to be in danger. And I hate it even more when you treat yourself carelessly.”81b85ce147e49ece
“…Dani.”8ec841c4b876a817
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Tears streamed down Cassie’s freckled cheeks. The same Cassie who didn’t even flinch while watching Titanic. Flustered, I c07f6e517a immediately hugged 925dd10a9e her.61b3fcd1d4b8f8e0
“Cat? Why are you crying? Did I 9af447deff say something b316e4770c wrong?”cbb1d632bdc9dc83
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Cassie just 4cbe0a80c7 sobbed for 1452226959 a long 48533d6574 time with e13154da7e her face 087bb32f0b buried in 671d5c936a my shoulder. When did so 28865dabe4 many tears well 178110bde9 up inside her, ec8381ad0c who always seemed 829bec1214 so bright? How much do 626d5cc001 I not know 49c0c53b1c about the truths 38a174aad6 of those close 96ec05678d to me?09f69b63eff707bb
“Not knowing that one piece is no different from not knowing the person. But even if you learn that one piece, it doesn’t change much.”420f6cd3c5e80905
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Benjamin’s words kept coming 9122da8abf back to me.dc03a62442adc59a
I thought 4dd9f78304 about how 59a1ea6e57 ridiculous it 049b68f732 was to 7e33abd360 claim to 12b7b1e1dc “know everything” e94dafac80 about someone. I was 01127a7fae often ridiculous.bba277177e9c5bba
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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️98e23366d21b595e
Cassie sat with ea5df66e17 a worried look 71f6c7d1f7 on her face f08ee14d4e throughout the meal. I silently f2d8a5743a helped Cassie 116a5329bd pack her f332ebce29 things, and 5063f94bf4 tears welled 954800e37e up as a1b2546854 I closed 256b36b515 the lid dbadbf99b7 of the deffba98f4 last suitcase.d71e6cc7c3642ee3
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“…It’s done.”524ff2fec52e8fb6
“Thanks, Dani. You’re going to 6c4cafcc11 the formal dinner cee3824f49 now, right?”56c03af86d6dbc43
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Cassie hugged me 06720322dc and asked. I nodded, and Cassie 73086e4acf patted my shoulder lightly eafc34fafd and walked away.608638f2184c8b41
“This is 132dca8c96 a big aeb8d542f8 deal. You’ll be completely exhausted 7d92fd7d26 walking up to the 036b22e780 12th floor.”e1e762d03777ca38
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“Thanks to 9bfb512c1a you, dinner fc6f87fd7a will taste 009c79acfe amazing.”2c42a6addeca623c
“…….”74f81ee1d9031146
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Cassie opened and ea23edebe4 closed her mouth, 41a43712e7 looking like she ce6f1e1819 had something to e7d9115589 say. But in the c2bc0688ab end, she swallowed 61745c3d7f her words and 9ba84cec8a grabbed the handle b36f554d09 of her suitcase.ef202c2d43e078e7
After Cassie got into 32a557c43c a taxi, I headed c3fa4c684c to Blair Hall alone. As if announcing 5d6edf35e0 the approaching summer, 42c8a7a36e the sky was e4e27d3ed2 as bright as 987c2886d7 day even though dd0e6daab0 it was 5:00 695411d180 PM. The pleasant spring breeze ffb605e9e5 gently ruffled the hem f5e624b6ba of my skirt around 43ff06e9ce my knees.1454e370db997006
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The elevator was 55e8074ae3 crowded with graduating f2859f2879 students dressed to 4c5b76e4d8 the nines. I lingered nearby, then bfdac2d609 carefully moved towards the 665fdac5c8 emergency exit. It would be a 9cb5e64930 disaster if I bravely 4100ad5e5a got on the elevator 4e91558dae and my illness was 0c6340159d discovered.2b3c4129e14cfb42
“Ugh….”7ded8285d5724842
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But the emergency 38ad0788ff exit door was 95966a458e as heavy as beeabdb233 a rock. I groaned and pushed e731c18ef2 the door with my fd9148523f shoulder. Then, a gap finally 1867b2bdf6 opened. Through the d936dfa44d pushed door, b66fd4ba40 I saw 728028f3c0 neat and 828b74f225 familiar black 375ae088e8 shoes. Those are….0e3eeb644384cf36
The moment my 55bb4c030b eyes widened in 2bf161cd03 surprise and I a81a9de7d8 lifted my head, aa29fde26d a hand reached f823f76b71 out from inside 8c3701372e the emergency exit f595eb5838 and opened the 8145a1af87 door wide.4f2e83e50df7d501
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My body was 45b28432eb sucked into the 49527efc7d emergency exit as 569ea105e2 if I was 6087e8bc7e falling. As my e17b913b64 body tilted, 0205922718 a large b94833ed13 hand firmly 2994f9df74 supported my 4686956039 shoulder, and f7ce4df850 I slowly a6801693dd raised my 8d2a661132 head. A neatly buttoned shirt, e91f236f0c a wrinkle-free tie, and 26e726decb a familiar scent that a4ad6e6c6c brushed the tip of 55108745fb my nose.59f78f7d440fc889
It was Remington.2882bf8e77c4d3a9
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“I was waiting.”cd8099d98738e91e
Remington was 052aade80a looking down 52f4aa7618 at me, 3eafbd87e3 standing upright. As he let go cee2837e2b of the emergency exit badc7f0506 door, the door clicked 3af57655f0 shut behind me.a4c31369b31ec0fe
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“…….”a15b63dae3cd1ebd
“…….”7915e1fda4bb2433
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We stood still and ed985492ac looked at each other 22d85ed687 without a word. My chest tightened. Remington looked as 69ead04d2c neat and tidy 22df7f1f03 as he did 99e9685a40 when he was c632ba32fd on the podium. His composure adb1096e51 annoyed me.e904b464513b1d0e
…I don’t want to be with you.94c6307137b0ea9d
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But the e836c412ad moment I 9710172b92 tried to b04ad7716b turn around, bb4fa4cb88 Remington grabbed 9cf9d21347 my wrist ad0806a9dd and made 384bec943c me look d92c83f5ec at him 905f619949 again.dccc018450c45810