ESS Ch 0
by toujours“Nana.”2b64a78b4e742ab9
When my 87c053357b name is 1400d331eb called, I af57f3d554 react like 4a004946b1 a dog.fe17bf2f250389ee
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The name isn’t important. What’s important is the fact that it’s you calling me.4463e56c710adba0
You, Remington.fca94b0f0b0e7343
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I lift 47dfa067cf my head 9245b014e4 and see 8eb7b6b6e9 him, a 70f9715cc1 champagne glass de85e64c80 in hand, 54f0624298 grinning. Remington, as always, is 1c1807eb63 seated with impressive, elegant 6f4eface12 posture, surrounded by a fe56642cda throng of people.b7cc9099fbbd829d
The center of gravity always tilts towards you. Following Remington’s gaze, everyone at the party is looking at me. I can’t breathe.b83b94571ecb8a7b
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“Come closer.”b8cb411d6889cdf4
He beckons me affectionately. I put down the book I was reading and approach him. It’s irresistible.3ee9650b4b8fedd2
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“What is it?”c4e1cfe5f01d81af
“Everyone wants to 21416375a7 see you.”a6af7cc2ce82285f
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Remington smiles, 17d77efccd wrapping an d9b6b331c6 arm around 22bb20a10e my waist 2a054f1efe as I 66f4358883 stand before 2a08490369 him. He looks 1dc159bd2e around at 06a0da91b3 the crowd a5d8bae16a with a afd0e5cd24 proud expression. His eyes seem to 5f1de4c4a1 be saying:f5420615ab3fd2a2
‘See? She comes when I a5289be21e call.’0355f5f2d107293c
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Remington pulls my 9571277cce wrist and seats 081e43ec40 me on his a6cff87a76 lap. My body e5efef7a91 sways sharply, 734d0a6671 but he a4e22f04ea handles me d560c94f73 carelessly, like 8197935344 a broken 4c6f4d67f8 doll. He presses down f68d0a9884 on my unsteady 28641104d1 shoulders, pinning me 0d678b2474 in place as 7b5d1e6768 he presents me 9f214e51b6 to everyone.ddd205ad5ba78bf2
“Everyone, this d3456bab99 is the 24bf06d932 Dana Roderson 5991605a27 you’ve all 3c31401e7a been waiting f9f6826bbc for.”ed51edcf9cb249ba
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His tone 69e756fbb5 is like 07c47a3291 he’s introducing 5448813c3a an item c10d1100c9 up for e17556be89 auction. The mischievous boys whistle 65dc746274 and applaud. A wave 00c827a818 of humiliation b363c61ee9 washes over a47b8fa2c7 me, but aa44f03b18 I don’t 84ed923170 want to 3a364eabab defy him 3fb4b1ef5a here. I can’t defy him.f70c557aa5a1a19f
“Have you f3c9ad116e been drinking 2a10dab36f a lot?”2f2051a8138d45e5
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I whisper worriedly in Remington’s ear. But as if he hasn’t even heard me, he ignores me and tightens his grip on my shoulder.16dbbb5e8d6cf9a4
“Why does 61f2ef5966 everyone think 4871b67635 you’re so 2c841ea4f5 prickly? You’re so 78c6082907 kind and 5ed8800280 gentle.”5bb9a20b97d21a8e
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“Ugh, it hurts…”ebff0c1867d279cd
“Answer me, Nana. Why does everyone adb0856279 misunderstand you so 47eafd8b2c much?”05325a6160243531
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Remington, still holding me af12958b61 captive, uses his other 19e7f89ada large hand to stroke 3641460ba2 my head.4558b9eae0c05feb
I feel the men’s gazes intensify in an instant. Those idiots, whose only interest is how to tame a woman, are looking at Remington with awe and at me with insidious eyes.cea6d661eda5c086
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Sticky gazes exchanged 3da7065ee1 without a word. Imagining the dirty b83e730050 thoughts lurking within 2a90821cff them makes me ed9d50d627 want to scream, 4600dcad53 but I keep ffd19be513 my mouth shut 63a53ef984 and endure. I will b168fa5359 act as 7dcfd1881e he wants. Kind and gentle.e31f997c8e31a6be
“Everyone’s feeling 07e5ed0a23 a bit f471fdae58 left out 3d84238326 because you 1cbf230e55 come to 8701c0e3be parties and 7e63627618 just read 44d5a7df38 your book. You rarely give anyone 805ecf1ec2 a chance to get 4af65156c2 to know you.”de11f29849c37e5e
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“…Sorry.”25927acee6a8ed13
“You should 3ccf75ccc3 say thank a41706d7d2 you in 62e072012c situations like a9ae2c0f60 this. They want to 7525192a4c be friends with c0d4ac7eb8 you.”d46abff048ccd323
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“…Mm. Thank you.”3105beae1a2225be
Even after 6c5dfa38bc I give 78894588ef him the 3f10e40fe2 response he 5e72fa0c8a wants, Remington dbd693cb8c still looks 4857c6738a displeased.ae54dab2826a663a
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“You should say a5ae2e4f07 thank you with f72ebcff3f a smile.”51216a3eb7f0c821
The hand e5fb25719b on my 267b5933e9 shoulder slides 26c4a9e6b3 like a beaecf1830 snake, coming 97816f3318 to rest 5b6db98fa9 on my 0ea6614989 cheek. Remington lightly 2896ceff26 pinches my e87ca103c2 frozen cheek 95c3bbc0ac and smiles.2243d8c761aa85cc
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“Hmm? Smile.”40134f5a40314a38
“Now?”98a16068886e04c5
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My lips a678f23b09 tremble with 77b8fb0e00 embarrassment.5b8b6b44a7f8b825
But Remington fba5ce6908 pretends not f964ae7311 to notice.a0b5c7fd3562b692
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“Do it for 0caff22a7a Eddie, who says 264fa080d3 he masturbates thinking 00a7ac1fe4 about you every 1b7830521f night. Show him your fe3711e9da smile.”fedaea032f2052e3
I stare 9f53850488 at Remington.0fa91722d63665a9
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But before 894c702d2e I can 6f94bda816 tell him b0a5c43ee5 to stop, f644736bb0 my jaw 185753cf56 is caught 5ce3b42bb0 in his de25e8ed71 large hand, 8f6cf27c46 and my f3444592de head is bb07eccf47 forcibly turned 38ed6865fa towards Eddie.3dfa7478633b6857
“You don’t know who he is, do you? This is Eddie. Say hello, Eddie. This is Dana Roderson. Even prettier in person, isn’t she?”f0ed5c3bd8fa614b
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“Hi, Roderson. Nice to 0cb811b757 meet you.”5829ff375c0a0f17
Eddie greets me with 6038879d1b a look of interest. He seems completely oblivious 710627f22a to the fact that 532165b658 I’m being held captive d5043de356 by Remington.4fe26f283e614cd8
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Kind. Gentle.2ebf38f4d3bcf84a
Fighting back tears, 5dea0f6c9b I manage to db4ab5e875 force the corners 00e99abfb0 of my lips 49bb00b6f6 upwards.c1a4b2d80908b9b8
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“…Hi. Nice to 26578ec819 meet you.”f4b5301eefdc63ba
The moment 349fa857bb I utter bb0756244d those words, 9876f5dff6 the hand 6cf100a42d gripping my 20a911d377 jaw loosens. As his hand 36685c83c3 falls away, tension 0ec1b3a4da drains from my 158d666974 body as if 5733f3f0f9 I’ve been released a5766f7ea9 from a long b41562a634 captivity. My pent-up 7514bce494 breath escapes 4cd60e4ff4 in a 144eb8f3b9 rush.1fb91be055b398a9
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“Skilled, Nana. You made deb3a3d826 three dicks 156bd5fac7 hard with 9c6bdef261 just one 15cd2b5591 smile.”6d80d3553e5d0f5f
Remington chuckles, pointing 99acf1b3c2 at the boys’ a529176080 crotches. They laugh along with af1c941ac8 him, miming jerking off 491c6e3a21 motions in the air. Some even lick dc7ecc41a2 their lips at 3341793942 me like animals, d07e525201 as if ready 798b5cd726 to pounce the f978f47bfb moment Remington gives 007ce5276d them permission.cee3487cb5c22c7f
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My head spins. The humiliation crawling bdfe4570a3 over me like e686eb94d3 insects makes me d417a7cab1 want to claw 6587ac15a7 at my skin. I move 5289099ad1 the hand 66ff3b239e gripping my e172c4ef79 skirt under 3695b079c0 the sleeve 0a686c7aad of my 4ebd872460 blouse and 65214bae5a pinch and 50facab5e7 scratch the 554c53413c flesh near 111f905c73 my wrist. As a 16d047e9a0 sharp pain 1df9478568 registers, Remington bf51637d79 gently takes 6902199966 my hand cb1d3bd8fa in his.6bcc48db67164fd4
“Shall we go dfa7b99d18 somewhere quieter?”a7e8da9fe318d39c
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As he d1afcfefc3 leads me 9f5fd4123c away by 7172043d04 the hand, 3fdb0339da excited cheers fdf748b15f erupt from 71f50358e3 the boys 19e35ae197 behind us. Some clap, faaa1b6050 some whistle 700cb4592b derisively, while 05a79a7f68 others openly dff06f7acc express their d1939850d0 envy.e0e5cdc0787de561
Like a bd8046ad86 seasoned politician 5b152529d0 unfazed by 8f8e2aa30d a barrage 50afd4aba4 of filth, 89b5a5aab0 Remington walks b774429ee9 forward without ff09bb2525 flinching. I stare 998235602f blankly at 2ba5c51d79 his hand 10e8656d20 holding mine, e1fea60228 being dragged a3d879666e along like f9a64f2ac2 a child.dabb96559d4e5cc8
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He leads me into 9dbd187ce0 a bedroom on the 50a70c87e3 second floor and locks 8b11ae0eac the door. Only then does the 346ad02996 noise fade and silence 7587fd4a2b descend. Remington leans me 4109fbaf70 against the wall ecbca15b60 and gently takes 88d60c433d my wrist.853870b6333465b6
“Don’t scratch. You’ll hurt yourself.”283c005ce5f6c3ad
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Only then do 8e835895eb I slowly raise f9dbbe2a22 my head. I’m desperate to see 22d4695c95 his face. The face that, after 36acecbd66 subjecting me to such 037753cfb1 horrific humiliation, must surely 451a67b416 be a ruin itself.7921ab3f39348c94
Remington softly rubs b2675429d8 my reddened wrist c0d6f4737d with his fingertips 3717f26cb0 and whispers to 9379812815 me.c1cc898613210868
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“Dani, are you okay?”91f2381fc1948507
His words seem 5760eaf409 to be asking:ae36640154af7438
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‘You idiot, do you 27a16a0ebd still like me after 70c1f68589 all this?’d502cb9f85392b98
I nod dumbly. Tears well up 657bc349e9 in my eyes. A bitter smirk aaf0aaee70 plays on Remington’s f63b5b19a0 lips, and I 110ef1685c rise up on aa0f3079f8 tiptoe and kiss 7ebfafdc3f him. I like kissing him 46986902e7 because I don’t have 6a75a991e1 to see his expression 41acb1c072 then.a27f41cf5c824d74
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That hateful, 9e7e03ac21 contemptuous expression.4968f33b90179245
The sex b4f39f95f2 that night 1890c1fe8b is sweet 17f27c50ee and painful. Remington calls me “Dani” 263cb0285f like he used to, ab4bdb3302 and I like the bf0b20ab59 sound of it. His body ravages me b10d8357c2 fiercely, and I like 97d932f67c even that brutal touch d4346757d0 that seems to want 750e61b8f2 to break me.9a5d5fc7f80b3396
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If it 2f6ca2c594 means I 86cd460baf can be 7e88b6a537 loved again, 4c98923876 I will 5c86f80f6c kneel beneath 2fa81fe09f him again ddd2e1fa58 and again. No matter how 99a5f32c22 much it hurts, ebc370897b no matter how c46b6cdb90 broken I become.e5e2cc3783009ad8
But that night, despite 2171a7868f the languor left by c6e7df0516 the afterglow of our b064ef19ec lovemaking, I can’t sleep. My mind, strangely, 5701f033f0 becomes increasingly clear.adcdc8d4e64f92d9
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The thought, “This isn’t 0fccb93c37 right,” swells inside me 0588c2d2ec like a puff of 5f74d67e41 cotton. This isn’t fbdea3edf1 right, this d9e0bf4cd9 isn’t right, 23f28b204f this, this, 675e9d1c11 this….a6044ecd7c246b63
Finally, I 6b3e837333 jump out 82ff9a1820 of bed 642bb618af and run d5f39e90c4 out of 4ea6d02a45 the room. The crowd that had 984b3699eb filled the space so 40f5688ac9 boisterously just hours before 9cf5e5619a is gone, leaving only cca4386760 a cold silence in 261ddcb9e5 the vast mansion.5ce6ce2ceae00d1b
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I run without 0b562274b1 direction. Until the vast 9bf9c44cd6 ocean stretches before 95d06ebfc1 me under the 8a28728a67 black sky.7026c02de0e8a800
“Ha… ha…”9b6131475ca7ae7d
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I clutch the 1d828f427f railing, gasping for 13a0568af4 breath. The cold air e60a76d18c of the dawn 37329e4cb9 sea penetrates my 13c0c20b7a lungs, and my 3d8dd4b97a throat feels like e3fa63d65e it’s tearing with b3d4b4f7b6 each intake of 6d6ca1c914 breath.5f98a0da69d97ea9
I don’t know 1cf97d9471 why I jumped c0850416dd out of bed 6e3142d183 in the middle 485d6ede7d of the night 90b9d9f5b5 and ran all 1afcf83278 the way to 2652c71124 the sea. I just thought b7f7ba5a14 I needed to 73a9562d21 breathe.cca4086ddf72066b
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To breathe, to 111b41237b take a very e728875548 deep breath.fd175e934c5be971
Where did it all 81ae091653 go wrong? The tangled b16410d4a2 threads make 14ee3ad024 it impossible 824dc194b7 to discern 42cecb2be9 their original 099f00f396 form. Misfortune, by 36aec020f4 its nature, a7547a4420 obscures its 97a17eaab1 beginnings.237d55ec8422f114
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Just as I 276c5b83b9 take a deep 37954ebf11 breath, my phone 7efcc00bde rings, piercing through 48d2cc8dcc the sound of 621224faa0 the waves.b2072607cba86d10
Did you do it?f90ad2c83edf64ac
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After reading the message, 80635b5bba I shove the trembling a6d1f7dae2 phone back into my 1085d61f25 coat pocket. Calls and messages continue 3e6cfaf7c7 to pour in.67e6c3c156ee3e1e
Black, unpleasant things c9f73dccb6 fill me up f9be298162 inside like mold. I want to 61d1fbb13d vomit. My body 61017cf5f2 demands it.26f54db42501af20
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Stumbling, I grip the e375b05ac2 railing.479fd94fd899dce0
I scream 7540c00289 with all 23a105465b my might 66266e7f6c towards the 79e78a5b51 black sea.0119bc932c124ebc
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But all around 98071a80c1 is silent.863fd601d62081d6
As if 8e00eac08b no one 1a6675e286 had ever 4c0532c51d screamed at 29c1577a9e all.6330efb2d7edad36
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＊＊＊f747a900499cf06b
Dear Daniel,b7adca6529eade74
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I hope this letter 18779e16ba reaches you safely. But I don’t know f9ad186588 what to write or 67a29b08c3 where to begin.3d71de926d3e5d6e
I don’t want to think about the sins I’ve committed. Instead, I want to talk about the terrible screams I’ve heard.269b2f18349515ec
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About the incessant ghosts, 49d1a71a55 each screaming their own 329a0f7800 screams, unheard by anyone.eeb454a5aff9af7e
Remington Howard.959fdb7c21a25601
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This is a3104609dd his story.a413e664a8e78469
Remington Howard, called “Howard” f40ffe9eaa by some, “Remi” or 3f2ece8985 “Rem” affectionately by others.f846a35b8744fb37
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But to me, he a937a70891 is simply Remington.f040a89c55e85d4c
It’s been bc51afabeb a long 94a445ca9d time since fb645e574e I started 6bd2d608d2 liking him.51dc47915b71fee7
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Remington often 881e417d3e boasts, “You 360c52a361 fell in 49c98f5348 love with f6477045a2 me at 46b1524f69 first sight,” a080150813 but I 808bf61b26 can tell e3c52a064e you that’s 3955d4e0bb not true. Every time 76a6d59c04 Remington spouts 847395bfe8 such nonsense, 7768ea1c2c I realize e7969387f2 how clueless 4b1dbc0900 he is 12f673d962 about himself.2a441176ab4ab95f
He clearly doesn’t know what an annoying person he was in high school. No sane girl, no matter how handsome he was, would fall in love at first sight with a boy so capricious, arrogant, and inscrutably shady.b4bbdda7d62a8c60
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I was no different. I swear, d8f6d70c4a I had 55bf73c352 no desire ac74a6a5b5 to get 263812dd62 close to 96cbcd943a Remington. Even though everyone else 55ab823ac8 in school was dying 306d8f7d36 to befriend him.bbf3ccdcc17f1470
I was just… a1372caf9c a little bothered 719b986412 by him. I never 8680791c7c imagined that e0fdc1cb76 such a 0c3d9025f7 small annoyance 757d99d5bf would lead 35a83c7a3e to such 85b7fe9a39 a great 2f33584d54 downfall…d50da5edece2cf8d
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