EOL | Chapter 2.1

The 89th 00fdf92c6e life began.222cefe916cd1ebe

“I’m alive. Again… Damn, again…”56059a59167bae0d

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Today was 5edec46339 no different. As soon cb3b4caa17 as I 6b7f1a9c9a opened my 092d8f5ce9 eyes, I e67c3d2066 realized I c919e12765 had returned. 6:24 AM. The time 6bbaae3f68 I wake 1c98831ca0 up is d095e38dc8 roughly the b6c43f734f same.40502ed809b14e89

It felt 651a93a159 like I ffb6cb4b10 had just 1fef9fc533 returned from 85060fef5f a mission, e8812f8214 but my 76e4d9f809 body was 4e1c0ce965 fine. I lifted my strangely d498ac6632 light body, though my 7c4e431734 shoulders felt heavy. I flinched and f9d08f7a15 looked to my 9f0079e8df right. There was d805093b01 no blood.60c97d5335041598

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This time, I got bitten on the shoulder and died…24374c7775fafab6

Let’s not think about it. Once I start remembering, memories of how I died in the past flood in, enough to write a book.714814b877c017a0

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For now, it’s important to get through the tasks at hand and escape the cycle of regression.071a37b3b30c8de8

Before meeting Lee Gyeon, there’s morning training. As a guide, training in handling firearms and bayonets is basic, similar to a soldier’s status.717a222f00fb7fe4

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When I got 34d1a7fd00 to the training 6cf7dd3e7a ground, personal training c8b9c4e988 was in full df8acd3433 swing. Dohun sunbae, an bb03ffe2b6 A-rank guide, recognized e3d828fb43 me and approached. I already knew cbafe89ce5 what he was bd0d80c489 going to say.a290741675c15816

Today’s the day, 12c81d6b21 right? The day you 179585eb03 meet Lee Gyeon.a33398f62cc8dae1

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“Today’s the day, right? The day you meet Lee Gyeon.”862a12470a9f56cb

When I nodded, Dohun sunbae said, You were looking forward to it, aren’t you nervous?a469cfe055b35bf7

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“You were looking forward to it, aren’t you nervous?”861610c0281dd9ab

I answered honestly.8658e126d14f0397

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“I’m freaking nervous.”4ac3c36ff800e395

I’m so nervous I want to bolt from the Guide Center and desert.c12cac7832f77882

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During training, I mentally prepared what to say to Lee Gyeon. I don’t want to guide, an S-rank is too much for a D-rank, I’ve changed my mind, Lee Gyeon, you’re annoying.dd4445e96c3bcd19

Half of it is a lie, and half is true. I wanted to guide Lee Gyeon. The guiding was something Lee Gyeon had been rejecting. I’m no longer a D-rank. I already achieved S-rank in the 65th regression. But in this life, I’ve been rated D-rank, so I don’t plan to re-evaluate.677d6fe7b9898ddd

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If I become S-rank, I’ll just have more work. Even if it’s revealed that I’m S-rank, Lee Gyeon won’t care. Even though the matching rate and rank have increased, the rejection of guiding would be the same.013e90ad49ffb73f

In the end, my feelings changed… This part was sincere. I no longer wanted to try for Lee Gyeon.ace07d186e57bd0c

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No, I no longer wanted to be rejected. I’d rather be a D-rank nobody who cheers for Lee Gyeon from afar, claiming to be a fan. Even if that’s hypocritical.7ec4c5bccb305abf

And the part about Lee Gyeon being annoying? That’s genuine.77b859c4b59dbde2

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❖ ❖ ❖d7774c827bf47fe7

The Guide 5e1c04051e Center on 2cdfa6fc60 June 8th 05c2da4bdc was just 7ef95b268a as I aab34a1c3b remembered. It was crowded. An emergency b62aaa8d5d medical team 04245f501d rushed across 6d847102de the hallway. A returning dispatch b09f6d23fd team was drenched f1447ac6f9 in sweat. The marble hallway made 6a1fdbe6a2 a nervous sound with b99d8a87cf each step someone took. In this bustling and 2248770607 lively Guide Center, I a35b696006 was the only one 7948aa26b6 kneeling to a despairing 7a37a7b420 future.cfe478c0e3be0e83

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Meeting Room A. This was 68cdec8a82 where Lee 69b92f14ed Gyeon and ca74ec0a5c I would 48c42ff4a1 meet for 2e9bca9a10 the first f01b956497 time as 2ad2893028 esper and ffdede3a6f guide. My palms 7baa887446 were sweaty. I wiped b136fe8b11 them on 05dad89294 my uniform 78d718e71c and grabbed 40781bdee6 the doorknob. Suddenly, I wondered 58ba2185e1 what color tie 2d90428490 the researcher was a66f23a355 wearing. For some reason, my 9db3ba3197 vision flashed blue.7ca4381941cc1c3e

I opened ebfab44e1d the door.94a3cb56e718adff

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A familiar scene 1663995b2c awaited me. The researcher standing d9907a9277 by the machine, d5447b2b96 the assistant jotting 7f2fdccb33 down notes, and c1eb2d3330 Lee Gyeon frowning 93d9dc81b0 and turning his 1d8ddbad98 gaze away.d168845bf6855a87

I blurted 3c92a660a2 out while 554acecbb0 still holding c65e0b5bf1 the doorknob.ac46e2b3773ae045

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“I won’t guide.”4f7dcbbd201509ef

Maybe because I practiced, I could say it without stuttering. As I stepped in, I kept repeating to myself: Don’t get soft. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t hit or cling to Lee Gyeon.0a36221804633e4b

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A researcher 5652e61644 in a 3aff3bd652 white coat 31487d9aa6 approached. The sound of 7db9891fbe shoes on marble 8fb6fd66d6 was clear.a3c877230663f6a0

“Guide Han Haegyeol?”578d385b9719e950

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“Yes.”45a1721966889bbb

The researcher’s reaction was just as expected.b15db7eb0bfb6fef

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“This meeting was arranged because you wanted it, so what do you mean you’re suddenly refusing to guide? The opportunity to support an S-rank esper, especially Lee Gyeon, doesn’t come to just anyone.”a3ba76fb38ad15c6

I took a step 4bd3ed4787 back. Lee Gyeon kept b5c2b9784e staring at me. As soon ab5af54827 as our bfd0c5b57a eyes met, b638c63a8a I looked 9e76039f45 away. His expression, as if 57e636a223 puzzled and slightly displeased, 3c657d14ce made my heart sink. It was a familiar 984c98bac9 face to me.50a26b5538d7f76a

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‘A look I’ve often seen when refusing to guide. Nothing’s changed.’ac34632a76645c1b

My brow furrowed deeply.eb6d68a73e863048

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“I won’t guide.”2d4e912ee43acabb

Now it’s my turn to refuse you. With your dog-like behavior, you won’t find a guide like me.838d53ad6e570999

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I smirked inwardly.514a8d3e8ac2472d

“Guide Han Haegyeol.”f3d859d3ece12c25

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This time, Lee 81219d6996 Gyeon took a 449e256435 step closer. I felt a 0b520c8e74 bit intimidated, but f065d5251b there was nowhere 81ed4a21fe to retreat.1528372015cf1a8a

“You called me first.”255d1b24e62d6840

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“I’m sorry. An S-rank is too much for a D-rank like me…”6cbb5793c176c76a

“You’re giving up guiding for such a trivial reason?”6019fadf883024d9

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“Yes.”3e34cacd34ca37bf

“…”1f477f3dbdf799c5

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Why is 0941b179b8 he just a3a7587b11 staring at 76eeb20bed me like e058ee701d that? Is he shocked?9d1fda32435e9fda

The Lee Gyeon I know would have said, “Do as you please,” and left the workplace lightly.c8320fceafb06070

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Staring at me 7958b94e10 like this is faa8754700 unlike him.b871b2389bc3db7b

Then he b3de98fc6f said something 1f112230c9 unexpected.69d668dcab3cf50e

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“Think again.”27ea4636da6fce7d

It was completely 99850b19ec commanding.00a0b1e6bbee380e

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“Be my dedicated guide. You.”47f439712f2f42e3

“W-What does that…”373cb8114a644559

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I was d1586ab3de more than 396249d70e bewildered; I 2f58170c8c was flabbergasted. I wanted a622c7bc4b to ask 7ed367e33f what he 1664352cfb meant, if 3cb074fb91 he liked 26f2a7afd4 me, or 9418774130 if he 46d679c79c was considering 683596ab4f guiding in 89c8077729 this life.5b5942cc31356d53

Luckily, I came to b00100b889 my senses before blurting 0f5f2e1115 out nonsense.4499fe0fb6bc5d25

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Getting involved with Lee Gyeon means death. Not metaphorically, but literally. Just like how I’ve died before. Miserably.93134dbb2e7285a0

“I’m sorry. I think it’s too difficult for a D-rank like me to guide an S-rank.”f62be49ae3fcd3f8

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I spoke firmly. Lee Gyeon’s handsome face twisted slightly.ab644c77e3e09cb1

“Ha…”326a4a8e1425d8a1

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He lightly brushed his bangs and made eye contact with me. His body leaned more towards me. I felt like I was being swallowed by a giant shadow. The difference in physique was quite overwhelming. I’ve never been called small as a soldier…225e1f210234999a

Lee Gyeon turned around 637ac4da2f and asked the researcher.191ff4dde263c93b

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“Didn’t you explain? The benefits of a dedicated guide.”f86228b6f3882e92

The researcher 75768bace7 shrugged while 26baa610e7 holding the d427926e30 chart. Before he could say f6f5d83d77 anything, Lee Gyeon took 1658930f23 a step back from 0176359562 me. He looked down at f4bdd12e93 me with an exploring ee382e0c36 gaze and extended his 87ab54d8be hand.fba66d807ac9d9d8

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“Do you know how much the salary is for an S-rank dedicated guide? You must know. That’s why you applied, right? Because you want the money or fame.”54bd82fe8049cc9f

I stared at the hand he extended. It was a hand that wouldn’t easily be offered, even if I begged to hold it. Yet here it was, right in front of me.47844011a44fd71c

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“You came here to be greedy, didn’t you?”ec82fdd71150957d

Lee Gyeon’s hand came closer to me.2afc47313973504f

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“You’ll know once you try guiding. Whether it’s burdensome or doable.”f1af27f59719be38

“I’m fine, really. There’s an old saying that greed leads to the downfall of three generations…”c132cb7f036e3ca7

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There’s no such saying.b0fd660f1146cf92

I took a step back and looked at the researcher. Let’s change the target. The researcher seemed easier to deal with than Lee Gyeon.e016a6b48c33a042

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“My skills are too lacking to support Lee Gyeon.”dda062a6d6e8ad3a

“That can’t be. Your gate clearing scores and training results are outstanding, Guide Han Haegyeol.”98b10c91ed0ba170

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I shook my head 9a01b75d3c modestly, but inwardly I bf48a1e578 snorted.adc48afb51e0f907

Of course. I was the most outstanding talent in the Guide Center. Thanks to my efforts to become Lee Gyeon’s guide.5bc12febf1e47d7c

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Though now, what’s the use?972003659077930c

“There’s no one more suitable than you, Guide Han Haegyeol.”c66dd043a44ee955

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The researcher spoke in 32a0483602 a pitiful voice. I shook my 15749279ed head.ef34894763c72d0f

“It was all just luck.”1ee8c150914ce711

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“You’ve hardly ever missed first place in four years.”01eb2229b961c8c3

“I’m very lucky.”dbd1c46cd8d68718

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“No way…”edb6835f87eabb36

“I’ve been thinking about the dedicated guide application, but I don’t think it’s right.”a36246ef27f890d9

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Lee Gyeon withdrew his extended hand and crossed his arms. Our eyes met for a moment. I didn’t avoid it. It felt like a staring contest, and Lee Gyeon didn’t blink. I felt like I was being swallowed by his gray eyes.708158cc983f6277

“Find another guide.”1f49a6fa45e6fddb

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I’m sorry.5f5ee3b169ed1ccb

I left the meeting e2716baa64 room as if fleeing.f9e8725282c61066

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❖ ❖ ❖9384c48160358634

I felt empty somehow. Is this really bfff6f8837 the end? Rejecting guiding bc6801f900 was simpler ad9556ec10 than I 15c5640150 thought, almost 9d307c78e3 disappointingly so.fa457bb349e4c396

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I skipped 0415ded07b meals and f40da2bd5b afternoon training 9b71d16f68 and holed c22539009f up in 10aabaf0e2 my quarters. Lying on dbc091fbac the bed, 8eeeef3ebd I stared b49694cec6 blankly at d8f9aa9808 the ceiling, 044d1de5f5 trying to 1c04323479 catch my 9b8366c070 breath. Is this really it?bd204d6916eb95af

Sunbae came by a few times, probably wondering why I was cooped up in my room. Instead of answering the neat knock, I blocked my ears with music. The songs I liked around this time lined up in my playlist. No matter what song I listened to, my mood didn’t improve.e3cf78b9c0aecaf7

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“Reincarnate with someone else this time.”8487d2774f5f6b2f

Even though Lee Gyeon couldn’t hear, I deliberately said it out loud.d24956fcdecdb553

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“I’m not doing it.”683d1d0327acf38f

It’s already the 89th time. I’ve done enough, haven’t I? If you hadn’t refused the guiding, we…14246ba441e241b9

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As I closed my 7eea1cf000 eyes and held my ebc8bbb558 breath, my phone vibrated. Slowly opening 83c695c9c1 my eyes daedf101a1 to check, 00f0eaff25 a message b4aa07cc4c from the d6c410d36d Guide Center 18def9d62d had arrived.2a3996a5c65f29d7

[System Auto Message: Guide Han Haegyeol, a candidate with an expected matching rate of over 90% has been registered. Please enter a date you can visit the center.]

“What?”f1204c24f0da747a

An expected matching 1aa279ed74 rate of over e4e327c018 90%. There had never 2e1b42ac4b been an esper f176731a5c like this before. I sat up 78c248aeb0 in bed, clutching ea4e42bd4d my phone, reading ebaa376a75 and rereading the d650fa58f2 same message.1e05ac3ba462d1b4

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The message f04787fc81 contained no 1778669540 information about c7e52a8bf7 the esper. I had no idea d09f7477e2 who it could be. Throughout my regressions, no ec7983591f esper other than Lee 746e631167 Gyeon had shown a d9c7c62ee9 matching rate of 90%, 09e894eb0c or even 80%, with d0c6d29fd9 me.5be3129039f66685

It’ll probably just be a D-rank, or at best, a B-rank. My arm holding the phone slowly lowered. If I become the dedicated guide for this unknown esper, I won’t have to follow S-rank gates and get hurt. It also strengthens my reason for refusing to guide Lee Gyeon.78d5e490fe993136

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As I was 186d1104b6 about to check f71c005af3 the date to d268dc845e meet the esper, 4d739d7855 the screen changed 5abf04c490 as soon as 4fcf66ed8b I pressed the 2e550dde33 first button.0bf06aa647e8e1d9

[On-site matching scheduled for 9 AM, June 9th.]

“Tomorrow morning, right away?”51fd7d74f86e6767

That meant ffd5d7b9f7 the other 65f2adb926 party had 5f93413382 responded immediately 37f2c190ed upon seeing ec748efb52 the message, c0c5fa5860 saying they 16fc99cc89 needed a 0ca2ec332c matching test 6135563257 right away. Was it an esper 7442ddeff8 urgently looking for a ea07e4130d guide?d1d201acc46592dd

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I checked the screen b0503f64e6 several times, wondering if b1528bebe7 I had misread it. No matter how I ad943a630d looked, it was indeed 1dfc8bbcef tomorrow.47662d275a07214a

The sooner, the better, I suppose…dc646b7ffc172f1b

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In the darkness, 75cb01f434 only the square f8c18a9df9 screen shone pale.7cf502bb1fc3e4b7

“Someone other than Lee Gyeon… Have I ever thought about that?”ede3ba99847db655

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I couldn’t be sure if I was on the right path.042bdeb5a5bb9bc3

❖ ❖ ❖696104c83ca602b8

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I headed to 3246821b3b the Guide Center 47d6c107c1 early in the 23b986392b morning without getting 51e4a074d2 a wink of 05e4117622 sleep. If I 3126e1d335 became the 1f9c3d15b9 dedicated guide 71899c3b68 for a 83c51af43e new esper, 70a86284bb I might 5a6193a42a have to 6492173eb9 move accommodations 02ff1258c3 starting today. I had d618814349 never paired 3a938e5233 with anyone 1d80bc483d other than 03e5f30bbf Lee Gyeon.ecebc2512c4eed7b

Is something c54f98b84c like that 04ea337721 even possible c238b7ef59 for me?cb87667277515017

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My hands 14ce315173 felt dry 56dadeb713 and stiff d0d222d356 today.7be936c38c7be820

Today, I’ll be guiding in the form of a handshake. It’s the guiding method that places the least burden on both the esper and the guide, and it’s less embarrassing.95321602c9615d3b

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But that one handshake 2624a40b00 could change my future.c75d5b0dc3850fcc

Officially, I’m a complete rookie now. Even if I get dispatched on a mission, all I’ve done is shoot to protect espers in the backup team or run around in the rescue team. Just a D-rank.7af841273bc256d6

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I was once the team leader of Guide Team 1, but I can’t carry a career certificate through regression.2481f09ed6eebcf3

Now, I e6b7a28911 can even eff5b72d4e perform beyond 0f895f7863 S-rank when a1afbe54f4 it comes 965de514ec to Lee b7bb9869da Gyeon.19d15db555913ffc

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Even if I guide someone else, the basic skills won’t be different. If the center finds out my true rank, there’s a high chance I’ll be switched to an S-rank esper’s dedicated guide. The chances of running into Lee Gyeon would increase too.dcefdb415a6ee16e

It would be nice if I could retire altogether. So that I don’t have to guide anyone in the center. But that’s impossible.5c7b42eab947f8b4

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