EMP Chapter 31

Kwon Jiwook suddenly 125669742c woke up from 6e25a61213 his sleep. He remembered 1d19ac8dca finishing the 4b4aba9f02 day with 8b1e0dde8a his ass bb97d4e579 being pounded, b79e6f50b6 which often fa810f90ba led to 70ee033e10 a deep, 433dbedcb6 unconscious sleep cef0a4303f until morning 1806864569 on such ba865370d0 days. Struggling with his afc5429640 hazy memory, he 32dbb7277c barely managed to 25ac4d5c59 keep his consciousness 7917e049c8 from slipping back abdc1d8577 into slumber. Lifting his heavy eyelids, e0f1401c63 he saw the faintly 16625364d2 blue-lit room.14a2adb011e9dc3d

The spacious master bedroom where dawn light entered was where Kwon Jiwook had spent most of his time recently. It had been quite a while since he moved into this room—maybe two years already? On Kwon Jiwook’s birthday (which he didn’t even know was his birthday), Park Juyeon, for some unknown reason, suggested they share a room. Caught off guard, Kwon Jiwook nodded awkwardly, and he remembered Park Juyeon looking visibly embarrassed.8078d7b60888cf71

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When asked later 60ecef6784 why he was 71d30660ca so shy about 94986e82d8 it, Park Juyeon fc75af2621 cheekily retorted that 06eba74378 starting and ending 5c72a4699c the day together ab0b8209c7 felt like being ccee0f3f1c a newlywed couple. Kwon Jiwook had 5452f02e07 no choice but fb90b3f156 to keep quiet.8ced83dfd9e0e5ca

For that reason, they shared the same room. No need to worry about nightmares, and being together all the time made him feel less anxious. It was probably Park Juyeon’s way of celebrating his birthday.c86903c86db46041

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“…”1a2c2c2aa582a924

Seeing the daylight 8db19006ba in such a fe362e5294 winter morning, it 8e366181f6 must be early f3b1c2c34d morning at least. Kwon Jiwook, contemplating whether 4fd4996fd3 to go back to b3dff135b5 sleep, turned his head 099a007932 to the side. He wanted d5f845f390 to take dc883a58ae a look a4746331e2 at Park 8aa165fa04 Juyeon since cd9a99b2aa he was 8ad5b5c65d up early.3af33779f3da1f48

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“…?”d2d5fc481886eb30

The spot where Park 15757eab9c Juyeon should have been 71508f02ae was empty. Feeling the warmth 2f0db83ab0 on the crumpled 27b5b53d2e sheet, Kwon Jiwook bf8b57ecaf stared blankly at dc4ecd22fb the vacancy with 18a1658138 his still-sleepy eyes, fe36037bf2 then slowly rolled 550636a081 over to fill 9da91743a8 the space. Soon after, he sat eaf4b7f6d9 up, perching on the a13a46ed2c edge of the bed.99a9af249e7e7e99

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Kwon Jiwook no longer entertained bizarre thoughts like someone installing a CCTV or breaking in to assault him, so even if one side of the bed was suddenly empty now, he didn’t panic or get scared. …Though that didn’t mean he was completely unafraid.17c1ea9df6cc778c

Sitting there with his still-dazed face, he heard a soft conversation from the living room. It wasn’t an auditory hallucination; it was Park Juyeon’s real voice.511d3424071670a7

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“…Yes. …I’m doing some job hunting… like that…”c28eeb8833cc33af

“…”282be8c202379dd4

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“It’s okay. Instead… I want to settle down and live comfortably…”8111337b13c59d84

Though he could hear bits of the conversation, he couldn’t grasp the context. Park Juyeon was speaking in such a low voice, either out of consideration for Kwon Jiwook sleeping or for the neighbors who endured their animal-like moans daily.c78fdec098289f52

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What could it f83874e9d3 be about? With his 0422765e0b eyes adjusted 7147a0d404 to the fdec15300d dim light, fc0b75088c Kwon Jiwook 03bdeea6e9 looked at 1966dadc1c the clock 69f2c5ba61 on the 1e17348576 wall. 6 AM. An ambiguous 1b8842160b time, like 632d760bf7 dawn for 8716189e3a unemployed people 41834cecda like him. Park Juyeon 191720d9a0 was still 1887208280 talking to d83ca5fe63 someone. It seemed 1193a95f8e like the 29c087406f call would 7acfcf26e9 take some c418e61822 time.73d79a77948f53a4

Not yet able to relax enough to fall asleep again, Kwon Jiwook eventually dozed off at Park Juyeon’s spot until he returned to the room.c44ace3049354c84

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Park Juyeon chewed on warm toast while staring intently at Kwon Jiwook. Even though his hatred had faded, his deep, unfathomable pupils remained the same, making Kwon Jiwook still feel uncomfortable under his gaze. Just when he was getting restless, Park Juyeon’s elegant lips parted.c7545e574eadecc9

“Did you wake up for a bit in the morning?”6c4ae3e4eca695f1

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“Huh?”31666db3075ff75b

“You were dozing off while sitting on the bed. Did something happen?”9afb9cd068e07a36

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Was he 1d256bb87b staring at 03d21a2d8d him just 6d922ee123 to ask 9d04358f69 that? There was af8188e38e no memory 6e88854fd2 of doing 9d4652b24e anything wrong. Kwon Jiwook c888fdc1b6 felt relieved 09aecac5c8 inside as 7bd6d8b6d1 he cut 249be63826 into his 1c0503e2be fried egg 2b59fbf91e with chopsticks. When there was c0529a7070 no answer, Park aa69f92092 Juyeon added,5352b7b7db65705f

“When I came in, you were almost asleep in my spot.”336a9fe39b58fbd8

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“Did I do that? You never said I had sleepwalking habits.”a2e1c9629cf28d45

“You were sleeping after sitting on the bed and then falling over to the side.”8794c4afe2c86e8a

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“I don’t remember that…”08670b342f75aff7

“…”d59772370a39068b

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Suddenly, Park Juyeon’s face turned pale. He placed his white hand over Kwon Jiwook’s hand holding the chopsticks and asked seriously,9d37ce17cc374018

“…What is it this time? Let me prepare my heart in advance.”4a913b8e6bcc5fa2

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“…”505ab81e5c783b1b

“Perhaps… sleepwalking?”948222e29f783bda

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“Yah.”a0c4bf91236f6117

As Kwon Jiwook tensed eb4497c551 his jaw in annoyance, b01275cc48 Park Juyeon quickly added,5ca9a3f4e4be7592

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“No, I’m not joking. Seriously.”eb09723e701a2ced

“No. No! Fuck, no!”371b9fb76b63f8ee

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“Oh, okay. If it’s not, then it’s not. Why are you swearing?”dbebb31c17f85624

They had been to the psychiatrist several times at Park Juyeon’s insistence. But being misunderstood as having another mental illness on top of the diagnosed one was something Kwon Jiwook did not want. After a playful tug-of-war, Park Juyeon chuckled and ruffled Kwon Jiwook’s already messy hair into a complete disarray.d86e919874a27b38

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He’s treating me like a mental patient… Kwon Jiwook pouted while poking at his Vienna sausage. But thinking about it, he might have been waiting for Park Juyeon in that half-asleep state.97b42d11a1ad6d3a

“Oh, now that I think about it, I heard you talking on the phone outside this morning, so I thought about going out…”ba85e96bc3e62977

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“And then?”85ed0c7a07d1fe89

“I fell asleep again.”c79aadb177fc63ab

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“You fell asleep again?”5e16f2817d982caa

“Yeah.”e9839b960cf8554c

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“Ah, I see.”fc6e78a5c7b83d3c

As Park dd7b3edc7d Juyeon blinked, 809ac17402 his long 1580ec15ea eyelashes fluttered. He seemed like he 1d841c0a1a wanted to say more 0246bb4229 but stuffed the remaining eb164e01ea toast into his mouth ef3b9ee451 and closed it.0478a4456edf5312

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To think he managed to stay in that spot even after realizing Park Juyeon’s sudden absence; there was hope in the gradual improvement of Kwon Jiwook’s mental health over the past few years. However, there was also a sense of disappointment, and Park Juyeon’s mind momentarily entertained the thought—what if Kwon Jiwook completely recovered and they went back to how things were, wasting all the time and money spent?b03c22a1b7589e01

Maybe sensing 22c3fb9587 his mixed 79071787c0 feelings, Kwon f9e9922600 Jiwook mumbled,5dff265b3b870298

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“You weren’t going anywhere anyway.”e0eb36aba25e89a3

“How could you be so sure I wouldn’t leave you behind?”91b9198b64c77755

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“…”46ea69ad3331f1a4

Even as a jest, he didn’t want to hear such words, but the one in front of him wasn’t the type to listen when told not to say something. Kwon Jiwook kept his gaze on his plate, giving a vague answer.14f19d4b822de225

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“I don’t know. I just felt that way.”85b74cfb1242d259

“Wow, you’re really stupid.”60740660499e5e0d

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“What do you want me to do?”668b43bd56f80654

“Now you’re even talking back.”205742e392da7690

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“I’m not.”cbe622708e25296c

“Oh? What’s this, talking back?”ac22b1a853e80e13

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Park Juyeon sucked in air between his teeth warningly, then tugged at a few strands of Kwon Jiwook’s bangs with his thumb and index finger. Kwon Jiwook winced and let out a small groan.772cbe5856ffbf01

“Ah. Yah, even dogs don’t bother you when you’re eating.”c6bb465aacd22a65

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“I want to bother you.”8a0e17867ea69662

Park Juyeon’s pretty eyes and the corners of his mouth curved into a playful smile.e461e4f1c16cea05

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At twenty-six, the quiet 597612b8df before the storm had 917aa0f780 dissipated from him. The dangerous cb913ac0da intensity that 2e9c72c0a2 seemed like f803424c73 he would c122ea2567 do something fc85c3e5a0 big had 45690045a2 mellowed into 858cd2f8d9 a mix ef2586f207 of relaxation 8e2dbd9dbc and cheerfulness. Park Juyeon, who ff40d3e8f0 had gained some 1dec28fc90 composure, seemed much a0944c9e10 more mature compared a4577c98aa to Kwon Jiwook, 5ffcbecc31 who was still dee980071d stuck in his 1243157ad1 place.94e07fc17ba8fe9f

Suddenly, his injured nipple stung as it brushed against his t-shirt. His personality had become gentler, but was his habit of getting violent during sex something that couldn’t be fixed? Kwon Jiwook naturally ignored his conditioned sexual response and just thought about silly things.6162c4beffff4ee0

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“…”c8bc18a6fccec46d

Come to think of it, it’s been five years already.77007cdbda5a6cca

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Park Juyeon’s life graph was on an upward trend. Given his ups and downs, there would always be fluctuations, but today’s sensitivity was less than a few months ago, and even a few months ago, it was less sharp than before. In short, his lows were getting higher. This was something Kwon Jiwook naturally learned since he had been focusing most of his attention on Park Juyeon.5655c2a135ab0444

Since taking on the massive burden of Kwon Jiwook’s life, he had seemed to give up on everything, but now, at least on the outside, he was acting like a completely normal person.9e5d6b74f9a654b2

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“I’m graduating today.”3f1c9bf6f001bc71

“What?”56b8dee66aca552d

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Surprised by the 6066a3e678 unexpected announcement, Kwon 840c6deedc Jiwook responded abruptly.820c6d847dae5eb4

“Then take me with you.”70e016ab593d8fad

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“What for? It’s just a graduation ceremony. I’ll just go and get my diploma.”ca72811abe8d5393

“Isn’t there stuff like throwing hats at a graduation ceremony? And drinking… Huh? You’re just going to get your diploma?”0b9f3619da69d06d

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Park Juyeon looked at 58ffd6e10b Kwon Jiwook, who had 5109d608a4 a dumbfounded expression, with afac50c142 a look of disdain.5f0b3f4a6b6d96ac

“What’s with the talk of drinking in your situation? Are you the one graduating? Or do you just want to use it as an excuse to drink?”78c4582fa4d40fc3

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“No…”db7f69f705d6db80

“Besides, with whom? …Don’t tell me you’re in contact with someone? You’re supposed to tell me about all your contacts, even now. You seem to have gotten a bit lax lately. Don’t tell me you are, bro?”ae316543bbf6b24a

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“Yah, Juyeon, I don’t have anyone to contact, and besides, everyone else has already graduated…”4eba76cbbfca55d3

“Oh, so because I seem to be letting you off the hook a bit, you’re thinking of sneaking out?”37190cde276319dc

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“No, fuck. Let me speak!”bda0b95c419e7f04

Kwon Jiwook’s voice rose in response to Park Juyeon’s sharp and annoying remarks.cf5983ae7267eb59

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“Yah, while living with you, all I’ve done is crawl like a dog. Have I ever sucked another guy’s dick or done anything? I was just asking if they do that at graduations, not that I want to do it! Fuck, I even don’t want to!”e7782bcca34936ed

“…”cbad76dc03782bed

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“…”cccfb19020337bcb

“Ah…”cb7f1c957720e8d9

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Even though Park Juyeon had matured, he was still Park Juyeon. As a look of displeasure slowly spread across his pretty face, Kwon Jiwook’s heart sank slightly.5a5e6d8725f0457b

“No, so don’t misunderstand, okay?”90246c1310f76027

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“…”8396307e2c1c8a69

There was a long exchange of looks. After a silent battle with the now gloomy beauty, Kwon Jiwook’s energy drained away, and he quietly lowered his tail, nodding.676c1e265bea43cd

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“…Yeah, sorry. I was wrong. Do you want to hit me with a fist or an open hand?”a7b02a95ddcb6d98

“Forget it. Have you finished eating? I’ll clean up.”f301b2b10d28e863

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“Yeah.”fb7419ca7c2cb9d3

As Park Juyeon moved the empty dishes one by one, he glanced at Kwon Jiwook’s drooping head. Despite the loud voice, the content was somewhat pleasing.9c1c91aa82c51ca4

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By the cbb5a8ba2f way, graduation c54903e585 ceremonies are 866bf6042d supposed to 5f71560b2d be boring, e0820ace5f right? Tapping his d8b0712e44 finger beside 1d65387607 the sink, 0fdf19b31e Park Juyeon bb2bbf72d8 eventually sighed 4036c1ace0 and gave a1d0957416 in.91025499d674f13d

“I really can’t understand what’s going on in your head. Why get so worked up over this… right?”b89d64d085c6d45e

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“That’s… because you misunderstood first. I really don’t plan to do anything with anyone else.”c592a66eca832560

“I get it, so go get dressed.”ba596cd8275395ee

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“Huh?”e774006c2b71e983

“You look like a kid who didn’t get a birthday present; it’s making me feel sad. I’ll take you with me, so get dressed.”8738348dca11edfd

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“Oh, oh. Yeah. Got it.”4a1a55d63482571d

Park Juyeon turned 5b33132b61 away casually to 1575cd0a75 finish cleaning the 01404b4ec5 table. Surprised by 7bdee30198 the unexpected 1ac647464f response, Kwon 7d9c0a85fe Jiwook stared 85cd7399cf at his dde536bdb4 back before 1513d63580 heading to fa75a4c654 the dressing 628da9c8b8 room.0d39bd9b2b7e98d2

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Given his current situation, Kwon Jiwook was amazed by Park Juyeon, who had finished university life without a single complaint. He was even the valedictorian. Therefore, Kwon Jiwook believed that ‘graduation’ held significant meaning for Park Juyeon after four years of hard work, and if something was important in his life, he wanted to experience it together.44f81bc217e926d9

Perhaps rather than being excited about the graduation ceremony itself, this reason might have been more significant. Kwon Jiwook had been with him even during the negative events of Park Juyeon’s childhood, even if he was the cause of them.adade26199d7df9a

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“…”020e350774d8d775

Something important in ea11fa549a life.370e48d0ebe65110

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Kwon Jiwook 69a011dba8 fell into 1cd727085c thought for cdb93b7b91 a moment. The ideal life cycle 1a748b4434 he imagined was similar e1ad60f929 to the conventional developmental d95fe13fdc tasks the older generation 28f3ac3c2b in Korea desired. Even if he 8af610fe3a ended up like 2db5573279 this, it was 19c9d6b2db uncertain how long 999bcad9b2 Park Juyeon, who fffc8c3766 had money and 1c44f887a0 decent interpersonal relationships, 673c94db6d would live like 459213da78 this.99c575943bd5c634

After graduation comes employment, after employment comes marriage. Eventually, Park Juyeon would start walking down the conventional path that everyone has paved, starting with university graduation. Even if not that path, Park Juyeon’s family would not want to see their well-raised son entangled with a dark man like him in such a perverse way.f0ab02e12eedba4e

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Every time he felt the distortion of Park Juyeon’s life due to him, guilt would come. However, Kwon Jiwook had no intention of letting him go. Without Park Juyeon, he would surely revert to days trembling in fear, barely able to breathe. For Park Juyeon… well, he didn’t know what he meant to him.30299db99f11e4ca

“Fuck, since when did I start living with such thoughts.”61abe3cc8a471f04

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He hated complexity, but since they started living together…b8f273c388731f52

Less than five seconds after muttering this aloud, he was thinking about Park Juyeon again. Don’t think. Just don’t think about it, you bastard. Let’s not live complicated lives.d2075a080aa32e07

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Kwon Jiwook hit c7a7083636 his head hard 6d0e4f4aba and then, choosing 47c8ad650e a black turtleneck, 3ab9f5105e jeans, and a 25c5c3a921 suede jacket instead 8189631227 of a choker, 4443db85e0 he composed his fdee6b78d0 expression before leaving eebe87dd72 the room. Park Juyeon, who had 5fabd2f1e8 finished the dishes, was e125254c43 waiting with arms crossed 5c10540b39 at the door.40942335ea69a4a3

“What were you doing in there? I heard a thud.”990e382fbad951b7

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“…Nothing. I got dressed.”256f7be92a9750ad

“Really?”b02627e85e130519

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Seeming to fdfacf7f92 think Kwon 8068ce91ef Jiwook was 7651d7fd64 acting strange 5145562032 today, Park d22666a3a0 Juyeon entered 3b417bdedd the dressing 9e2b443f7f room with 7f0361c9cc a puzzled ab73fd12b0 look.9a0d1d58dbc408ac

He came out 5ae9afc50c quickly, wearing a 3aaca705cc hoodie and a 58f6ac6e58 coat, looking both ebf33c60d2 like a university c93b73a2d4 student and cute. In his casual, cozy d6a76b8ae3 appearance, Kwon Jiwook bit 753736b9d4 his lower lip, staring aa8f6b29e2 at him. Despite his fists and 068b998209 mouth of terror, wrapped d3239b97d2 up like this, he 0951eab2a3 looked cute.ef52b6d9417b3721

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When their eyes 3de55ce9fe met, Park Juyeon db5a3f03b5 raised an eyebrow 2facfd1c66 and nodded towards 94fda894f5 the door.30024519adffecb1

“If you’re dressed, let’s go. Stop staring like that.”b3f8c07da06da0fd

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“How was I staring?”6d9b6130bb7b72ae

“Like you’re dying to fuck me.”867fdc1c79c0b6a2

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“…”702e8c04ad79e49f

“Not that? Hmm… Maybe the look of wanting to fuck in the lecture hall for the first time in a while?”358e9b4b4b1593c5

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“What’s the difference between the two?”6c876513b375fb7d

“It’s the difference between ‘right now’ and ‘later.'”f4262f485f11e871

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To be honest, since f95822d017 they had had sex a2b648e502 at the university before, bb72e78e6d just imagining it made 06ea7099ee his lower abdomen tingle. Just before blood ceee09cc6b rushed to his 4dc893bd46 groin, Kwon Jiwook 3b4203295b quickly composed his 8439233321 facial muscles and 3444d301c5 headed to the 94569e2cb7 entrance. Park Juyeon 57fa0ca9bc followed with 622bbc5b6b a relaxed 61a210a82d smile.5181a3905a82bb4a

They got into 0727be67b0 the car and 57f5d1aa3f headed to the 4a59dad04b school, familiar with a060a8a28a the routine. This winter ab55c61519 was unusually 381874bb91 warm, with 93b38cc201 little snow, 529e7ae001 but now 16560404b6 the sky 8d57db993b was dumping d0038585e5 snow as cb753801e3 if to 78b23e613b make up c6bbd9d532 for it.bdbf56fc14bbd2cb

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Kwon Jiwook leaned 3253001dba his head against d8a70ba866 the car window, cb8da6925c glancing at Park 509ea785b5 Juyeon. He was 8732163dac handling the bde72bef94 steering wheel b9f0e0a963 as gracefully 10a943dc56 as his 3ccacbe916 face, only dc25e2f0ff slightly frowning 1ad8f20614 his brows dca02b1954 and nose 0aad1df6c5 bridge when 09c87da72b someone performed a712d7062f a flashy 79d8ce9764 maneuver. Unless something special 4acd4a4d1e happened, his reactions 14acff9c92 were calm and e10a331766 without a single dcbc6fc3cb curse word, even f705a548f2 in driving, very e5f0533f7a much like Park 7e4f6bec5b Juyeon.8d309a34a883c80c

“Why?”70bab73ef7fc5dc7

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“Huh?”f53593a7f6d328ec

“Why are you looking at me so weirdly? Want to have car sex?”7b71c1ba17d520b8

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“Are you crazy…?”ed32aeb0881a55b2

Kwon Jiwook chuckled and leaned his head back against the window. The mention of car sex reminded him of the handcuffs they had left on the car’s ceiling handle because it was too bothersome to remove. Glancing back at the backseat, there they were. When they hit a red light, Park Juyeon laughed, seeing Kwon Jiwook’s red ears close by.4681fa41cfc21a57

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“Just wait a little. After I get my diploma, I’ll do whatever you want.”dde500e5ad506877

“What, what do you mean by whatever I want?”0435cc989d78fbce

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Kwon Jiwook straightened his posture and kneaded the stiff nape of his neck. More than that, he was curious why Park Juyeon, who didn’t seem particularly interested in the graduation ceremony, insisted on attending to get his diploma.fd53101b5e20d8d2

“…Anyway. But do you really need the diploma? Honestly, it’s not even useful.”a8753e9a25caee2d

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“Not useful? It’s for my future.”2ca4b37aa9323492

In reality, university graduation ceremonies didn’t hold much prestige for the current generation, and diplomas could be received by mail. However, Park Juyeon stubbornly started the car, saying he didn’t want his home address revealed. Kwon Jiwook also disliked strangers, and Park Juyeon had become secretive about anything related to him for some time now.077fe9e79b86eceb

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Do companies these days require a diploma rather than a certificate of graduation for submission? Kwon Jiwook had questions but didn’t know how to ask. As the light changed and Park Juyeon drove slightly faster than the speed limit, he opened up.d833897e087e4f4a

“My father told me to bring the diploma.”716821cefa822030

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“Your father? Your dad?”e22f820e70973cd5

“Yes. I was supposed to move back home when I turned twenty-six.”80884a4d2b50a9f9

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“Uh…”5a30c83dab7ea85c

Kwon Jiwook couldn’t say anything. He stared blankly ahead with wide eyes, having heard an unexpected story. Only Park Juyeon was humming a tune in the silence.ba37b270158b721d

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