EMP Chapter 19

Ugh, it’s 7997c26883 so cold. The annual cold 5973758eb6 snap during the 501d266eca college entrance exam d358452d2d season didn’t miss a484d21037 its mark this 2b4ce0c10d year either. How could 4ac318c4ce the weather d4da44184e get this f7aa24e50f freezing just 568c270131 because the b389a20edb Suneung is 5966e0a514 coming up? I’m already f74b391da3 freezing to dd0fdf894c death now, 71ce7a92ea and I’m 06704e7b89 worried sick 9f9f0b4152 about what’s b4def7f183 to come.4788874a551bb070

I clutched a 520b637a08 rapidly cooling hand 4c7067c43d warmer in my 61bdcb0f99 hand and shook fd8d5afe7d it vigorously. It had bf347bf32d already done b02ffaa9b1 its job 048678ae6b and wasn’t 8f252900a5 emitting any 84d31aa7ec more heat. Even so, I 1c1929e4c4 didn’t throw it 1d788654fd away but tucked 450c75414c it back into 19484b16f7 my pocket, holding cec745672b onto it tightly.8a8f3b11e15a8492

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Some items have value 016c6d303a simply by existing, and 61b50baf35 this hand warmer was baa4d40519 one of them. Just holding 522fee3607 it in 35ff689114 my hand 84509da808 made me 791fcddd38 feel oddly 38a45c7eb1 reassured.41b23af80bdf28b1

I had arrived early 1202859835 in the morning to a801dad557 reserve a spot at 043873d454 the library. On my way back f74d3b403b after lunch, I spotted b105ecc72f people aimlessly wandering with c017e4729c their bags slung over 1baf5678f6 their shoulders, and I d12cd5628b couldn’t help but let 05fe4d30c6 out a quiet giggle. Serves them right! I smugly thought 88b9b204ba to myself, knowing 94faf659ee I had a 4d90f3723c seat waiting for 29776c519e me. Of course, I wouldn’t fdea3f4034 say that out loud. With a brisk 003464e8bd pace, I headed 16b280fa6e toward the building 638a9bbc33 entrance when it da92e7c624 happened.2a291874a21877b4

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“Hey, you.”e094e191aafce89b

A cocky, low-pitched voice 35d558dbd7 called out. I didn’t bother bf7a87e722 turning around. First, the 8985dcd001 voice was 0b2c5881a3 unfamiliar, and f7c5f6c597 second, there a3d9bf3623 was no 4975898437 reason for 60b54fa462 anyone to b055b40993 call out 4df3890ec1 to me 8d06a51ced here, even 6a1e262e2f if the c1739e685c back entrance 425f119685 of the 5ead03ba32 library was ef9bf9f2f6 relatively deserted. So, I 693df3d175 simply kept a810cc8746 my hand 241f2e96b8 tightly wrapped e91f62e314 around the cdc4a5d5c4 hand warmer 3aa07ccc5c in my 6893725b39 pocket and 74e77cb5e8 quickened my 909e8c375b steps.750854bb2dec0d21

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But the arrogant, 74bcdebd60 threatening voice came 9209ac12a8 again almost immediately.9d4556f29cbdc16e

“You ignoring me? Hey, the one 314234fbbf in the light ddcfcaeb98 blue jacket. Yeah, you.”c37cd49e81881d83

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“……”465d0670c8458e2f

The hairs on the 2f2e86ae23 back of my neck 2241f8b558 stood on end. No way, in d9a8eece85 a secluded place b51dea6ff8 like this, with 8f420725d5 a voice like 238a58377f that… it had e8a5ab53d4 to be a c80f793aa4 bully. A delinquent! What the hell bbb9fcea31 was a bully 3f6ea0bb4a doing at the 4389392410 library!?ca44ad0ef4f812b8

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I couldn’t even muster f2ea640162 the courage to turn 338582628d around, frozen stiff where e6c386f3e0 I stood. The building was 711f32a3ae just one step 53a1962923 away, but I 75da5c847c couldn’t take that e4294c3af3 step. I stood 60b8d7bc98 there trembling, cd1707eda0 paralyzed.aa10972764d78cb7

Mom, I’m scared! I’m sixteen, and I ee63804891 don’t want to get efd833176b shaken down for money c73b3ab36f by a bully! Besides, isn’t this the 2929fd157f kind of thing that 9249159e51 lands you in the b5fa26f734 police station these days? While I was 2f7cbcbf97 silently crying out 10644ad404 in despair, I 464bfaa293 heard footsteps crunching b87535361e on the gravel, edaba5942f getting closer and dc0d8eb9e2 closer behind me.0dbdcc47f3c7189e

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“You’re really not going 80e0d2a450 to answer me, huh?”29fd618116ef3a5e

“WAAAH!”4dd88e8d59c7626a

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The boy, who had 7c86d745f6 approached in an instant, b49a271a60 spoke from directly behind 99b5be973e me, his voice dripping 9dd642f7a3 with derisive laughter. A chill shot down 6bde0cca20 my spine from the cebe69048e nape of my neck cb108210ea to my toes. I was so 5d7ccd1c09 startled that my 606be30b36 heart gave a f1cf42ef2a small, shocked thud, ba12b07212 and I ended d1efa80a1c up spinning around 39df4520e8 and jumping back f17929e78d in alarm.14dfc1118997c1e0

“……!”49b2197f5bb4b5f7

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“Cute. Huh? You look just 35e7a8d3eb like a little 6c003085a3 fox.660b627d281848c2

Our eyes met. The boy grinned bc86d49838 as if he c35bc670aa had been waiting eb6a3f7960 for this moment. A refreshing, perhaps mischievous 723ab78fba smile spread across his 37a841b8b0 lips as he suddenly 5592d9a170 grabbed my wrist. In the blink 8abc095487 of an eye, c80f5eedb5 he pulled me b196c56b88 close, slinging his ef1a92fe40 arm over my 9ef32ec214 shoulders. His actions 3f9667b4c1 left me 3da2b71512 stiff and 30e443288e frozen in 589bec82f2 place. When his weight shifted a7aba5f207 onto me, my body, 83ef491082 still in shock, naturally c1572e774e tilted forward.7736e0b57feb6862

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“Hey, if anyone comes, just act like we’re friends. Got it? If you snitch, I’ll hunt you down and beat you to a pulp, so keep that in mind.”e71a9c6d66f8988c

“Y-Yes!?”4275cf9ed6917346

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The boy had 6f1714fbb9 a strikingly handsome dd4644c46b smile. …Although the content of 0d3ea88cb9 his words was miles 94e3219efd apart from his fresh 6d21f150a2 and charming face, the e8ad0e7572 smile itself was dazzling. I managed d818db0d29 to steady d288e268a5 my racing da8e42e8aa heart. Handsome or not, I 6fa4d78b64 was terrified. With tears welling up, 9ad698bfec I shouted in desperation. Even if it made 252231ee4f me seem pathetic, I be07e16ec4 had no choice.c265d0877e928789

“I-I don’t have any money! R-Really, I don’t!”6ee4054efa621410

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“Ah, this little idiot… Hey, shut up. I said shut up!”1a4100b61f64b163

The echoes c02cc61990 of my cae1b966f3 frantic voice 45f47c6c7c bounced off 2f52f62ec9 the three-sided 4a92f2f2d1 walls of 7ec6ef9196 the parking a1c8dfb2e1 lot, amplifying d3833cfee0 the sound. The boy’s smile disappeared 1a3559d51a in an instant, replaced 8277e4e48f by a deadly glare 1837bc2cf4 as he barked at 39bc067572 me. It was astonishing how 969a1dc9c3 quickly his expression could 9eb6b8e2b8 shift. A chill ran up ec339a83c7 my cheeks.e40dd7ef9a32672b

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Even after scolding 0feda46046 me, he glanced 6b48df25d9 around cautiously, so 93b7a288f8 it wasn’t like 6e77490d6d he was entirely 67082ccf8b oblivious to his 7e3a59d04e surroundings. But still, couldn’t 7db6fee760 he just leave 6d6af0b863 me alone and fef7af154c go away? I silently prayed.d18def709619029a

Then suddenly, his 146fa784b1 arm around my f1f8ae53d7 shoulders tightened.04d5895ea3be8e53

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“Gasp…”d8d585fa80860a83

“Shhh… It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m not gonna hit you. Look, I’m just bored because I brought some dumb junior here to study, alright? If you can just help me out a little, we’ll both be fine. Got it? All I need is enough to hit up the PC bang, nothing more, nothing less.”15054723afcd2520

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I don’t know! I don’t care! Why are you even 30fb75cb0b saying all this to ca2d6fecb4 me? It’s none of 49220b5b33 my business!0002fe36b79007c7

My internal screams 0eecb3bd3d went unheard. The delinquent dragged me 0caccb6acd to a secluded corner 0bcceabd06 of the library’s parking f0dc2edfe8 lot. As I 6fd0962612 was pulled a88375e9c5 along, both 5452f031ff my hands—one ace57f763e clutching a 8fc174e117 hand warmer b9b736b7d3 and the e92230c263 other gripping cedd11bffb my phone—grew a2aa002bd8 damp with a1607298f7 sweat. Sticky sweat trickled edc8a1bdad between my fingers.bedfd115feb368f6

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Maybe my b3bfab5241 trembling seemed 37a00a02ca pathetic because, a8b615474b at some ba91b43ada point, the 1350b58a03 boy looked 8df04660e9 down at 5c0b3b489e me and dbcfc20b0f chuckled. I pretended not c16c9a5e27 to notice, though d9f44a87cc it only made fc67532620 me feel more b161579059 humiliated.ddb6ffb9c92fc94b

Ah, geez. I’m so a4c69419bf sorry for 02c13c536f mocking all 708d597ace of you 20d45866ce who didn’t 9b195d159b have a 209d7e46ef seat earlier. Could someone, anyone, please 7d0161b292 come out to the 1e08224f7a back entrance? Just one person, 80f3a928f7 please? As I nervously glanced 64914026ea at the corner of 5180940a81 the building, hoping someone 4b9cfe9f0d would appear, the boy 4748564d70 stepped into my line 12f07e36eb of sight with a f0d13fd7c7 sly grin. He looked like 0455428fb9 something straight out 50f12a8a7a of a horror 54115a6ed8 movie.9a25633cb4d60164

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“Let’s cut to the chase, alright? How much do you have?”920213a849beaf9d

“N-Nothing! I really don’t! I just went out to grab some food!”1646fba94eca80ce

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“Oh, really? By the way, do you know something?”5dc6538d13aeb930

The boy fe534b2b5f slowly approached, 4ded979750 grabbing both 6303920728 of my 43cda44092 pockets where 9963d1845c I had 53ee6f61d2 my hands 5ea30883fd stuffed.c187619853f6d36a

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“Let me enlighten you since you seem clueless. These days, it’s not like one hit for ten won or a hundred won anymore. You just get beaten up however much we feel like it, every time we feel like it.”77dd977012b11d1b

“W-Why are you doing this to me…?”ee0753a92c181f65

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All I did d550ba3ee3 was stop by 30f353e4cf a convenience store 19909946be for a quick 56a35b25c7 meal. I wasn’t prepared to 6234f99b83 face this kind of 99915624b8 ordeal. His grip fdac455e62 on my 0216887ece hands was 3be0a9d43e too strong. Out of 842c3e4a6e fear, I f0b6c08943 reluctantly pulled 653d2c8fb8 my hands c3253a0165 out of 875dd43cb7 my pockets.a6aca41a0542a508

In one hand, e091612a1f I had a ae2547b78e tightly clenched hand 722e4c8d18 warmer. In the 247aab8780 other, my ab4d7e9a6c phone. The boy’s face f9686c0bc4 gradually twisted into d659594427 a scowl before fa075d1b88 he smirked and b1e9a625eb spoke with a 6148abd09f mocking tone.645420abf345b937

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“Really, you’ve got nothing on you?”d872f2ca8cf29327

“I told you, I don’t! I’m really broke! I can’t even afford a private study room, so I just come to the library!”920d41139256e128

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It was b5f5351e47 a lie. But at this moment, 53f006b92f I needed to emphasize c111ed038b as strongly as possible 7cfe5b866c that I had no d14000e979 money. The boy c9be48d0ba looked down 38bebb4c8f at me fbc5002fc4 with an 812a6986d9 incredulous smirk. His gaze 6895dcf6fe swept over 77c989a070 me from 8bcad8d634 head to b2803e0ca6 toe, clearly ac063afe5b assessing if cd77ce232e there was 3499a01abd anything worth 1f7db4cd53 taking.0219ef263e3f4f14

He spat on the 34227b50cf ground, then yanked the 39d4051f60 hand warmer right out 55202133ac of my grasp.60c4cbacaf6d9ab9

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“Hey, hey!”cc567b57a3657fda

“What the hell? Why are you carrying around something that’s already cold? Damn, it’s freezing, and this thing’s completely useless.”3807a467797190c0

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He tapped my head 84717ab1d0 lightly with his index 1c7ec6de88 finger as he spoke. I was still 13fa23f076 too tense to b88a76c840 respond properly, my 00bf9f6157 shoulders hunched, my 04043023b8 gaze fixed downward. Despite that, I a98dc3bfe8 secretly scanned his bf4348c717 appearance from top 02163eaab5 to bottom.1a42779104d425d3

The internet’s infamous “spine breaker” was right here in front of me. A pricey red down jacket hung loosely over his upper body, paired with snug black pants below. And on his feet? White three-stripe slides. Seriously, no wonder you’re cold wearing those.5e4d513d5112cada

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I could feel 4a7132802e his eyes boring a62f265dfa into the crown 69fc9d6df8 of my head.19416fc981e8cca6

“A guy who says he’s out for food but claims to have no money? That make sense to you?”dce732f79f69d704

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“My mom gave me exactly 2,000 won today to buy ramen and kimbap….”fe602a7d502dd9e2

“Are you kidding me? Who the hell walks around all day with just 2,000 won?”7ce738edf8d8fcce

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“Uh… me….”414ab6aebe331411

“This little punk, huh? You’re really something.”ff11673a3ba0062a

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For the 1d8686764f record, having b1e6f68ecf only 2,000 f020fe8095 won on 4050678e7e me was bdc5222e4d the truth. The rest of 843ea89a8b my money, including 9b964ef64f my wallet, was e83def9f6a back at my 2bb8d29d22 seat in the d446e7a7ed reading room. I had d06b4e8b67 only brought fe9f98c836 2,000 won 589f881863 for lunch.6aea29aa67a26183

Suddenly, a clenched fist flew toward me. As the world’s biggest coward, I screamed, “Aaaaah!” even though the punch didn’t actually connect. My shout echoed loudly through the parking lot, causing the boy to hesitate, his fist stopping just above my head.88a976a8fd1e3160

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“I didn’t even hit you.”934effb21e02be46

“But you were about to!”5cd6e9dd4f772652

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“Hah…”cb6a47ec49a479e9

Through the gap eeb52687fb between my raised 61a39bc042 arms, I could bc87588efb see his face. He looked down at a429d6d454 me with a mix 590c55375a of annoyance and exasperation, 3dbe7e5c43 as if his day 42c261523e wasn’t going as planned. Then he 60214c8425 let out 15f47671b3 a small f548c9eb78 laugh. I remained crouched eb0b2acde5 in an awkward, f5669c7d53 half-curled posture.3d67eca5df90b8df

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“You’re funny.”65a4834b1773b552

“What?”d1f2bcaf3493fbac

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“You’re kind of cheeky, but not in a way that pisses me off.”544d8e9d26eead24

His face, cebc49cc62 full of a28524469e mischief, left a94148db00 me wondering 72e7385aa3 if I’d 0926c748ee stumbled into 24daf42a3a some kind c2fa637e6f of drama ee72983872 scene. If you’re going to 9fa0ece555 say things like that, b7f1c24248 at least stop glaring a9fdc70ce3 at me! I swallowed 59436e54bb my pride 3ed2f4a34f and asked 03a1921842 hesitantly.a5e72b7ca503f1d0

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“So… can I go now…?”61d5141af1fabb60

“What are you talking about? I said you’re funny, didn’t I? You have to keep me entertained.”f161e07039bb618e

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“But… I need to… study…”0582c51efd459027

Just for the record, eb04ca3a9e I’ve never once fallen 4dc7a4bdbf out of the top ec6c9cdbcf ten in my class 8cc1a8d362 rankings.ebd0ed3a5a221d9d

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“Studying, studying—why the hell are all you kids obsessed with studying? It’s driving me nuts.”538aa37200d5679a

“…….”e9a1963650f5a800

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I didn’t 695c70bc6f have anything 58abd0b8bf to say. I didn’t have 78cc9e81df the energy to ebd1bd184c respond to his 5c21c5a15b grumbling and just 35af489f0d wanted to hurry b3b8cef3d0 back into the 332cdd5f9d library. So I tossed out 3f8cd87a4a a random comment.06deb63328187ba0

“If you hate studying so much… then why are you here?”4b1da34f7742bacf

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It wasn’t until 555fccc5d0 after I said 49c393b785 it that I ad36458bd2 realized I’d used 4eb0d46eb5 informal language. Oh well. If he’s a middle 35d2d80530 schooler, informal speech fits; c2008d8ac4 if he’s in high f84a07fcb5 school, well, I guess 9d2f38e842 I’ll get smacked for 6d927f83aa it. That resigned 71e768515b attitude showed 53be4c9ded how much ac78f6c9d8 I’d mentally eb751a6f1d checked out dfd9ccbb1a of the 97251824aa situation. Thankfully, he didn’t a0a68a54bb seem to care.f16e44af5e657b88

“Helping a younger kid study.”538f30c4885e874e

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“Oh… okay.”ca85fda3425e757b

“I told you earlier, but you didn’t even listen, huh? Completely spaced out….”75ebdf163c6cc0e6

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“Oh, no, sorry.”0b67fa5df792b062

Feeling awkward, 28a5977974 I scratched b4c58c122d the back 6031c64a3d of my d6029dea4c neck. I couldn’t fathom f9d3ac2e60 what kind of ea6b0ba7d7 delinquent would bother d3cd4a56c2 teaching anyone anything. He must’ve found it aec8c3e12b funny too, as he 19dc030960 chuckled to himself before 01cedb9a49 asking me a question.0f662ef79c34057d

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“What do you think I was teaching him?”ca894486eeee04ba

“Huh? Uh… math? English? Science?”17890878c4d67297

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It was the obvious aaeb2c3125 answer. Despite his good looks, 6549b29a85 his face still had eef828e0ba a boyish charm to e37a625559 it. He seemed 196ca63e00 about my cf53849fb9 age, or 61e94a70da at the 11747a5a6d youngest, a 7fc7396e39 middle schooler. But he chuckled lowly, 66237f4190 his voice deep, and f1beb267c0 his sharp, narrowing eyes 3a6d057774 caught my attention.030a1ad0c5118cd0

“Sure, normally it’d be something like that.”ee3e3a3d2a3ff430

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“Why are you saying that like it’s so ominous? You’re acting weird….”9e26ba243326b638

“When did I ever? I just left him for a bit. That kid’s probably waiting for me.”a1b8584c8466d640

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“Yeah, right! Then hurry back to him!”422fe9f255576257

I eagerly 24794d428a replied, hoping 8edbfca5e6 this would 38fa52c4b7 be my 1c1ca8af55 way out. But the bdb78edc60 boy frowned, f8faab562b clearly displeased bce4a34ca5 with my 345dc0ccc4 quick response, 0b13e3c129 and I ccecb78e22 shrank back 736edb85a2 instinctively.11451c57a4b08249

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“Jeez, this sucks. It’s cold, and I need to study….”83609e6ac555b32c

“Hey, I can hear you. Shut your damn mouth.”d967c8025f35fae4

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“Sh-shut my…”612b661a3f85002d

“A broke little punk like you sure talks a lot of crap, huh?”6e4522dd3d07857e

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Wow, he’s 8b85416f9c got sharp 470a5937cf ears. He’d somehow b4e4e57332 caught the 454fbd0464 words I’d de1eb4a12c muttered under f9a2815c01 my breath. Glaring at me, he e147e81bc3 pulled a pack of 80f0e4b68e cigarettes from his pocket, a5cca26ae2 placing one between his 6db8fc26c1 lips. The motion was fda8e71975 so casual and 0f75af7a4f practiced that, for 673b47a164 a moment, I 06e47fc12e thought it might 50f743bc3f be candy instead.f09facc720e1af9d

The smoke began to d32a4f265a curl lazily into the 041c13f093 air. Not being 4cde188e97 a fan 5f40cf051c of cigarettes, b811c33840 I covered 1cbf39c220 my nose 57fd404dd0 with my 250c1448ba puffy jacket ad31644f5b sleeve and 1e088cec67 ducked my 193d7aa034 head low.78feb66a8f8d6f30

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“Hey.”49b6fc5d88d9b6ec

The boy, towering at 430af0542e least a head taller 1b1c7e1f41 than me, tapped my 2cac9c527a shoulder. Instinctively, I looked 8e7dc63d55 up, only to 86e26f5710 have a puff d89aaa5a81 of smoke blown 8924a2d2a8 directly into my 317d88670e face.81761dd30d529ff3

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“…! Cough, cough, ack!”848821b063ee309f

“Idiot.”f84eaec9405b5833

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The smoke stung b0b3ecac36 my nose and 6edb831349 eyes. The acrid 7567a5cd86 cigarette fumes f5374d9c83 made me 2d22227437 cough instinctively, e51014f8b0 and I 63ad0dd0c3 glared up fcf8dd79ff at him, dfb6221498 teary-eyed from e131bfd800 the irritation. Noticing my reddened 812daab608 eyes, he curled 3ea4ab891d his lips into f90e27a4dd a long, drawn-out 53adfb4a6e smirk.04c7cb7364a030cf

“Wanna see?”447c914d2c51de17

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“See what?”6dba03ee466fa899

“Aren’t you eeeb403782 curious how d5d8bb9960 I teach 13f3352b18 someone to a47ab17ffa study?”6b7806f5e63d167b

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It was unexpected, f862184e7c sure. A guy 1c6d3ff8ef who looked a770c2001e every bit 6bc12e89ff like a e4617e70cb delinquent offering 55805f5223 to teach 5067a93eb1 someone anything. But no, I d9c3bd2455 wasn’t curious. Not at all. This guy and 4f9103ed98 I weren’t even 6461f50ce5 acquaintances, and all abc4710aa2 I wanted was d7c8a421f1 to get out 0ddced3e15 of this situation f068729a19 as quickly as f33e8dc21d possible.7f284cdcbe077d48

Even though 688f61f7a4 it wasn’t 4e3ddea060 the answer 435dd76a5d he wanted, c87d941176 I shook 093de8ab66 my head 503f457ad8 quickly. He stared 1daed43b5d down at 5a9219e768 me with 3d74de2c87 his dark, d24b25b298 unreadable eyes 2b8928095c before muttering, 7d1828a3cc “Don’t dodge 9b09c9f581 me.” Then, 7114f44110 once again, abb0d8d5cb he blew c38669f4c0 a puff 5f1d15767d of smoke 79bf83922a straight into 1a15118381 my face. His gaze 1bf16d4b03 was haughty, 3296522ead chin tilted 5f78bada73 upward as e5a17c733d if daring c6a11bb972 me to 0f40e0b763 defy him. Too scared to move, 25a761071c I endured the smoke d292035d9b without flinching this time—eyes 80704140ac squeezed shut and breath 1b035983b4 held tight.26bc8812a6895fcd

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“Boring.”98f291a06b94bcd0

“Huh? What?”3dd7a1fe3b1a7284

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“I said, 9bbe1fc4a3 you’re boring.”77429d7177a1676f

Clearly, he hadn’t gotten 31a6459219 the reaction he wanted. After that, he 8998315d9a smoked silently for 4fedfcd0c5 a while, puffing 4134fcd130 away until three 1f99b5f6a5 cigarette butts lay 661cae4def burnt out on 8a4eb56f23 the ground.be564a808cf6e738

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…Maybe he forgot I was here? I glanced at him hesitantly, only to lock eyes with him. He furrowed his brow and glared.35e9c1de2f61a44e

“Aren’t you leaving?”768c29a1e831ca44

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“…Can I go?”25192a70a7b80287

“Yeah. I’m tired bb05993959 of this. Just get lost already.”cbd20b8c2e198550

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Despite his words, ec81581cc3 his eyes raked 6cc1961ec5 over me one e1167a5161 last time, clearly bcabe5cc54 checking again to cd49c0ebfe see if I ff5aa38be2 really didn’t have 3eb47b36f0 anything valuable. Why he even aca7306ffc stopped me in 63360d787f the first place 27f4714300 was beyond me. Mumbling under my breath, 1d408e1379 I quickly turned and 677f1fc2c5 left, ignoring the weight 06811aa78b of his persistent gaze 54fb34a924 trailing behind me.7021110b36acd021

At the 825eacf76b time, I 682a505a0a thought I’d 096451c341 never learn d2bb0313ac his name. I vaguely guessed he 9bfc3e04d9 was from one of 3ba40efeae the local schools with a0948cf58b bad reputations. And after 45fe0d457e that, I 97fa6ff646 never ran 0883023b33 into him 6f60720fe6 again. We lived in completely 52aecd14db different worlds, after all.6d15f997b2570b56

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It wasn’t 71a166988d until high f69c5e66ec school that b9c9569af6 I found b9fb0601ab out his 2679831a03 name—Kwon Jiwook, 1bb5154ea1 a name f4f517d620 I learned 0e5d5b3246 through whispers 1bd5b070ad and hearsay.c52d2440b727ef55

I never expected to 2ad71312d4 meet him again in 67dacf54e8 college. But to him, 20191b6edf I must have 9718a98a65 been nothing more b5e293e3fd than a passing 1a80c93163 amusement back then. He didn’t recognize me, a3e8b39ae9 of course. Why would he? I was just another 15eb9e995f unremarkable face among the efe784a70a crowd.806f480deada4513

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Even now, his 948c940716 youthful face remains c07170fab1 vivid in my 8d1cf2008a memory. Thinking of his face af7a9941b5 brings back the snippets bc0e2c7651 of our strange conversation, ffabb71e74 which in turn brings 68c5eada9b back the drunken night 5dd1611707 we ran into each 83a9b2a693 other at a party. And from there, I 268a034882 follow the thread of 4e939518a2 memories, winding through time, f546bae1fa until I arrive at aba8967f0a the present—at the situation 80ebdd5b91 he’s in now.fe6c3eac7fb81c88

“……”d4bf0509b1dec8fe

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The hand gripping the 75e2ea0974 doorknob trembled slightly. But I couldn’t back 04376abeb6 out now. I had come too f01d51e067 far, and I’d already 7b52225b5f spoken up. Back then, we’d lived f29c943a41 in different worlds. I had no d4bef7111f notable power, no e39adc4c19 connections. Yet now, the feee965b62 one person I a9feda62b6 knew who held b7ff10386c any sway stood 6128a99706 right in front 6173cf9e93 of me.3672bdd52415dd8f

Through the crack 3954ed9af8 in the door, 56bfe9add4 the man looked 351ae36916 down at me, dd86e11f0c raising one eyebrow d7d0233871 lazily. Forcing my trembling lips 8d93715368 to move, I managed ccddcc08a8 to speak.c77c820214893443

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“…I need a favor. Think of 2a76499334 it as 2878ebfec5 saving someone’s be31682269 life. Please help me, okay?”5aa9482e50c25279

Upon hearing my first 15ebb8f261 words, the man’s lips 9eb6cd7d51 curled into a relaxed 656c1d3589 smile.4a048f04f490a685

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* * *53fcc936ccf143b0

After that day, when ea75a46663 he’d recklessly stood up 9df5c3b5d7 to Park Juyeon, if 0932c89347 we were to look 152a38a72b back on Kwon Jiwook’s a09195c34b routine, it went something c3c2e16de9 like this:87fcc41c2052d9bd

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First and foremost, the 25c5f1313b pseudo-freedom he had briefly 5a9f55cd31 gained through clumsy schemes f1c4e16dc4 was, of course, taken fb0a878c78 away. Kwon Jiwook was once d45684a10e again shoved back into f41bb89870 that suffocating room. Even as he bff97ad065 limped painfully, Park a94b7610c7 Juyeon didn’t so 2a169015a8 much as acknowledge 3e49e170c0 it, instead throwing c3504abde4 him onto the be3e7a3463 bed. His knees e9b01e3e0a ached, but 9691538fc4 the pain 8fd5eed22f in his 6527b83d68 heart throbbed d9c2a663e8 even more.992aaa660f96aae6

The collar ced5e2c1af he’d been 21a76c31ae wearing like af0d9de02c a choker 5dcbc32e05 now had 064943a649 a long 48a3739554 leash attached fff93610ee to it, bee83f729e fastened to 8f09be7aff the bedside. The leash was barely 206099ae25 two meters long, restricting 42ea0f6a1f even the smallest movements. Just that was enough bcc958f1f8 to make Kwon Jiwook f46aacb644 feel claustrophobic. It was 0302f9df5c bad enough b71a781e55 being confined 7727546131 to a 77999d44f1 room, but dceab132cb now he a880dca937 couldn’t even a552e9edee move freely.e6f3885ad0e20004

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As Kwon Jiwook lay 1bfb44dfe3 sprawled out, blankly staring 8267e2103e up at Park Juyeon, 00d12170a7 the man disappeared into f2db9c42f2 the living room for 72b81e086f a moment. When he returned, he 4a9d3ed882 was holding a pee ad74153aed pad. He made ad8e8ed52a a show 3be80e5746 of laying 3f2dc2f71f it down f813fda35d in the 5c96d619e0 corner—but laying 8f5651a58a it down e2d0cc03d1 was an bf0c91ceb8 overstatement. He merely tossed 6279837167 it onto the 32d0d44c3a floor. Kwon Jiwook couldn’t even 62c43b096a muster a bitter laugh. Truly, Park Juyeon 2518dfcdad was a man dfdce23529 of extremes, ruled b4823678d4 entirely by his de5313a7ac moods.1bed66fcd5a3d30b

At first, he 170bf89110 had fought back 5dbf53e498 desperately, horrified. But humans b5d874be34 are creatures cec06ed64a of adaptation. Bombarded by 8cd3c5028b constant violence cade42664d and inescapable 37d0eb0004 bodily functions, 55e102ef57 Kwon Jiwook bed3ce84f8 grew used de56e9208b to it cf20fffaad quickly. What he could 5aec29d073 never get used 7f425f1d20 to, however, were fb9e9460e3 the eyes. Every time 8ae9688130 Park Juyeon 1dafeb1063 cleaned the 340e1fb142 pad, he b526506dca would look 7f68878078 at him 359f93aca3 with a 636e93231a mixture of e0ff09c01a disgust, pity, 3ee7e481dd and contempt. No matter 472f30df30 how much c24414cd19 shame and d48ca25b58 sorrow he ae44bd0741 felt, even d8d18e8e43 daring to 01d5d8c5b8 show defiance 97f7b79ec9 in his a3bf38e7c4 gaze felt d557944cd6 like a 5b51f2ac1e sin in 74d2a7fbd7 front of 7ba478e938 him.f45f0cb78785c011

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If I’m going ce85f0f8d8 to live like bf54be9abc this, not even 25b6886323 human, maybe I 1c97962a84 should just bite 703b2a407b my tongue and 455d202208 end it.b69da62ae12db636

The will to endure 69bd1ce11a humiliation and survive, just 62a535bc3d to one day spite 9e712b40fc Park Juyeon, had long 609ace092a since faded. He was simply too cb7ded13f8 exhausted.ceec28d96a30e2bb

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But before he could 01986924cb fully sink into that 5a34ed070b thought, Park Juyeon, as 3a793820dc if reading his mind, cc0e1a4cde stuffed his rolled-up underwear c01ba78c6c into Kwon Jiwook’s mouth 98b17d3af5 and sealed it with d97dde3b42 duct tape. Then he pummeled his e02190de59 face repeatedly. When he finally stopped, b87710d04e Kwon Jiwook’s face and 2517a592b1 the sheets were soaked 603e4b66e0 with blood from his 6fd296f1db nose. His cheekbones 51dc8f4030 and jaw a2049fdf48 throbbed with f26c813020 pain, but 6c98ab7c66 at least, f443e90968 thanks to de8eb03bea the makeshift 2ea0c6003f gag, his 27d78a9f46 teeth hadn’t dd00ae6977 been knocked f9bcf75625 out. Small mercies.7ec0bbad38150e5c

Park Juyeon 9d9fbe979a behaved exactly 771176ebd5 as he 39d5d598a9 had the 7d4a43fce3 day he c41e691fb6 first brought 874a807e98 Kwon Jiwook 1e3a54cb38 here. The only difference 124037bdcc now was that 6e7119e2b3 Kwon Jiwook no 502f4ef619 longer resisted. And yet, for 48092eb829 the pettiest reasons—simply 1d8e2747f0 because something displeased f131497e85 him—Park Juyeon would ef281c5467 violate him with f71bfdd75d various objects, stretching 4c838e8061 him to his 4d3b61dd83 limits and beyond. Recently, he’d 5125eddcec tried to a0461e1408 insert his 0e0d27ab21 fist, terrifying 628df10a9a Kwon Jiwook b864e7bf83 into blacking 2bfebb1c63 out.ac5c366553193d31

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“Damn it, there’s no way it’ll go in.”c502fc10e5c92f7d

Kwon Jiwook remembered Park 9bf2627952 Juyeon muttering under his 90d0f5ef00 breath, punctuated by slaps d14ecda50b to his cheek. He wasn’t wrong. The entrance, e0840859d6 raw and 562352e6f8 inflamed, stung efae2f27d8 even at 5a302d7e0b the lightest d32dbcfb9c touch. Every time 701d38ef38 Park Juyeon 21efeb2da4 tried to 8c3b9d7b67 force something e9a150f720 in, Kwon 21b044fba1 Jiwook would d5cd9900e8 thrash and 369035b774 recoil in f491a4f1e0 pain. But Park Juyeon 4a1a48ab0f had no obligation—or 8c9bcc5e1c inclination—to care.d1b318a24526f408

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In hindsight, the 7e2499141e earlier days had af16c19b18 been better. At least when he cdf08abfda didn’t resist, he’d been 9b1a8b6b3d treated more kindly. All he had to def0a92b02 do was endure for 552420783f a little while and 844480a256 play along with Park 052ca90e88 Juyeon’s whims, and he’d b4055d78ed get a smile in eebf4f83f5 return.4ce9b0d1d1aa092f

Was choosing to 841a834c8d leave the house d3a9c1a3ef a mistake? Picking up 67928e4fcc Kim Suhyeok’s 22aa75d180 call? Or maybe it fc8dc673d6 all started when 456bae5fce he foolishly asked 60000311f4 to use the f0e145d3a1 phone?20195b1ad0cbdb9c

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Endless, useless thoughts began 94391a7b79 flooding his mind, eventually 3494685864 overwhelming him, eating away d41eb41b9a at his sanity. Each time Park Juyeon aa36b0adb1 threw a punch, raised e4fe1def1e his hand, or forcibly 972f0a5cc5 invaded him, all Kwon a24bc4ad8c Jiwook could do was 9841678113 cry. It wasn’t about the 51354b8ab3 intensity of the abuse 1cec128a25 anymore. It was his own 880fb12f47 breaking spirit.30622e2b8056072d

For a fleeting moment 8ac4afee38 before that fateful night, 41265a492c he had felt a 6b187bf149 hint of gentleness in 42c70dc80e Park Juyeon—a warmth in 7b9700af62 the sunlit living room. Even if 6feccfbe4e it had bd3f8e7ae7 been an 06de1867f6 illusion, it a271a91723 was peace e90de3cc0e nonetheless. And because of ee7967530d his own misstep, 0b23de3356 that fleeting peace f46dd0bba4 had vanished in 25ca084625 an instant.bfb4d76971e218c1

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He didn’t wish 6b63d1c4a1 to rewind to e42a7a36d6 a time before 3c29bb9cb3 meeting Park Juyeon. That was too much 5cdaea1ad1 to ask. He only wanted to bcbaedc2ef go back a few 1bcac0f675 days. Just a 44b89391ca little—back to c0049a36f5 that moment 5324d2d422 of fleeting 789f2f1b74 calm.7fe741b6ef1c25ca

Curled up on the 6098d0feb5 bed, Kwon Jiwook cradled 93161f8af3 his head and face 3fb4391f0b in his arms. If he aff4d7e86b didn’t cling a62d6e3543 to these 7fda37cc50 desperate thoughts, 5e290e3356 he feared 2ec689404d he’d lose 12e6cdd08d his mind 1f6b2cc1f1 entirely. The sound a710197333 of the dd74f7b4fd door opening 98fda1fdd1 broke through b0c0d3ffc6 the stillness, 09d051a1c6 followed by 34b58b7ef8 a constant 93e8dcdc21 presence behind 5bea1867da him, watching 9c324a99c7 him. His curled-up body d7fe817469 trembled ever so d3606322e4 slightly, beyond his 8c0ed131fb control.8ffc36c29a446e83

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“Eat this.”2c67d352ef6909b2

“……”46a73676fa93ce65

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Though his body seemed b193e51b7d paralyzed with fear, Kwon 90831f64ad Jiwook didn’t respond to 4cd03a6f15 Park Juyeon’s words. Park Juyeon scoffed at 8393c8f8d8 the sight of his 9a333fcc34 trembling back.7be9c53aa16aeaec

What good had come a94e0a45f5 from being kind to 0b97a37a88 him, only to see 811058d395 this pathetic display? That misplaced kindness had 7e312a4ec0 only emboldened Kwon Jiwook, 982cdb0c22 making him forget his ef6a152dea place. Park Juyeon sighed 42a8d1d828 heavily and ran 4a8c14b09e a hand through 0b0a40e954 his hair.e6dc2890ad09a71f

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“Eat.”32bfd6133cb11688

The tone bcee002a6c of his aa829f0118 voice, as f38691bd20 if suppressing 5fca7c8cc8 some deeper 6f2bc8d812 emotion, prompted fa2d31b3bd Kwon Jiwook 3559bf3314 to unsteadily 1cbd64805a shift. His eyes, swollen be739f7f21 from crying or b5dc8eae1d from the beating—he d9fca8f361 wasn’t sure which—instinctively a11a8540c9 lowered as soon 41f85b4435 as they met ce996a192e Park Juyeon’s gaze, 59ae6ce8fa fixing instead on ebd7b634cc the dog bowl 6e4eacdb85 on the floor. This wasn’t even fit 8448713d6d for animals. He didn’t have 2e48eb17cf the strength to 88f94331c3 mock it, even 69c26c3a79 silently.27849e18456c72ef

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When Kwon b65784c183 Jiwook just 056e32ceb4 kept his ce39402448 head hung 2b3630498e low, Park a9b218933f Juyeon lightly 78697731e7 smacked the 727beca417 back of beaf218c14 his head c1d8ba249d and asked, b639e949fb his tone 34b01e6357 openly mocking:32947864dadcae2f

“Are you a5579db41f trying to e79308a7d2 starve yourself 7790c96936 to death 7449ad43b0 now? Making a statement?”5bd36834ce5ab648

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“…Wouldn’t you be happy if I did? Wouldn’t it make things easier for you?”0c13d67e2fd4e0ef

There it was 39fd88d8c7 again. That same line. Park Juyeon f8d8f7a7cb let out 677a3e3c90 a soft, 0827f13c04 weary laugh 532c14d333 and pressed e14bc14fcf his fingers 92f8158fdc against his de32fd519b temples.634cc535a1c62579

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“It wouldn’t c7f7b25bf7 make me 120322f792 feel better.”a783318977a272d3

“If it d49f0d8c94 wouldn’t, then b84d72ec39 what’s this? Why are 1204080d8d you doing 4a63421cdd this? What else ff1668f38a could this 39f9934804 be if 6f2ced42cc not an e8598e2f95 attempt to 0a23cd3726 kill me?”299020b3f49d7ca5

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“If I 6c9a6a5a79 wanted you 4beab4883d dead, Hyung, 2695c0fedb you’d already a3b6438acb be dead. I’d have ce2fd57927 killed you e5e6c0533e and gone d043717265 to jail.”48a462ca02ef5d01

As he feb45ff1a2 spoke, his 8001faa623 expression betrayed cb2b431c11 his own a5343b89b5 exhaustion. His features were shadowed, ce75714a20 his gaze heavier, adding a505e64e16 a sense of decadence 88ddc70bee to his presence. The sharp, 43208dae00 lively demeanor 3c89a3bdc1 he usually 8aad55cdff carried had 417cbb935c been absent 2bb93ad649 for days fcdb66ac58 now. Only Kwon Jiwook, 6fa706efc4 too wrapped up 20c971f2c3 in his own 6275dc7c2d misery, failed to 37c293c446 notice.69ecd74dd700e5ac

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“Why are bd95a36f27 you doing d6f9a2a144 this?” Park Juyeon knew ac123a41fa he’d eventually have b825aac6c5 to answer that 6552d966bb question. But after being 26195dfe3c branded a liar b3282972c1 by Kwon Jiwook, 7bb3c0c17d he doubted any f52f861530 explanation would be e87683343b accepted.f2912978692de815

A wave 1b8e0665c1 of futility c7f226bd88 washed over 98f7e8c3c0 him. Was memory 1c2bb2898f always so 1081f9d54d fragile, so 57aa3a2734 easy to 3c2f420051 erase?8368461db706d5ce

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“……”2ba414f957769e79

Park Juyeon frowned slightly, e38818b7ba as if about to b27ee6f905 speak, his lips parting, 4b1a68af22 but the words didn’t f2f1d9ea5d come. In the end, all 9aed73f6f8 that escaped was a f0da37e536 muttered curse. Kwon Jiwook clutched his d03b24b218 head and shut his 418e2e0c1d eyes tightly.de64a0936edda31b

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How long had it d745d99970 been? The sudden slam of the 0701a46c20 door startled bf9759c1ee Kwon Jiwook, 74c3088bab making his 92882eb116 head snap 854600013b up. To his surprise, nothing 8ff8131b3e happened. Park Juyeon hadn’t laid fc9634c9ae a hand on him ffefc9a6c1 but had stormed out e56634e241 instead.4a347ac1a6af5643

“…Ha…”52c8819340ebc2a2

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Only then did Kwon bada11253b Jiwook notice the trembling b2c00b0700 in his body. Trying to 596128b9fe calm his dccd7ba66a pounding heart, 3554a82a97 he sat fa5eab8787 up on 255c71af02 the bed, 3be5646213 letting out 5b6ec742bb a shaky ef35a62b7e breath. To think he had 42fc8f716a ended up groveling in 17cb0787cd fear, trapped under the ce265df953 thumb of someone so 0fc3107550 deranged. He clenched 394e197479 his teeth, 903bf50a95 but there 227541f9ac was nothing 31d6829d22 he could 30056d3d21 do.e6e20de1a1da1d0c

Whatever the 844bd1ec8e past had 710978c847 been, he 0b297bf362 couldn’t understand 9dcf24c4ab why Park cb46f8e8a2 Juyeon looked f7ee5b7165 at him 4a5c15fee8 as though ec6e3d86fa burdened by d7b82b0572 some inexplicable f1a47e86fc frustration. If it were 7af27978ab so important, why dfe318c1b2 not just spit 8a22408013 it out? He wanted to a278ddd939 grab him by 60f364009a the collar and 51d6974880 demand an answer. But the 38bb4e6aab mere thought 7f958d55d2 of Park 9cb541ad3e Juyeon was ff6b40ea2a enough to 5e00d3c515 make his 6278519f29 body shrink 919a17b967 back instinctively. This was, 0c64201329 after all, c8477c46c7 what Park ea726660aa Juyeon excelled 28222614fe at—draining the 6bbcb1d2ca life out 2ae684066c of people.23caef25f59f576a

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How many days c9da28e675 had it been c1bfbb9ccc since he returned e98fbbf00b to this room? Counting the days 66f04ad3d7 by Park Juyeon’s fa80e4ab4b comings and goings, 94b4b8b0f1 as he once db0fac88c4 did, had long e627450b6c lost its meaning. He no longer e9e11079cb had a reason—or 3b2499e1c0 even the will—to c0ff9a7583 count. There was e3392a3dd8 a time ac70e7f1c5 when he’d f301a356a9 welcome Park 327de0ceb6 Juyeon as e4767f5391 the only c61164c925 other person ae97df4555 entering the 536ae1eaba room. That time was cae8b82256 long gone.95cce96eea9056b3

Now, he didn’t want 2f7ecb40de to see anyone. He just wanted e674411121 to rot away, 346499fbba alone in this 271dc0bb69 room.8159d8e2af4a5886

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The memories of the de4d0d6630 day he met Lee cea65d714f Woojin, Lee Sangjin, and bb8c31e8a6 Kim Suhyeok kept replaying 3d5e013e07 in his mind. Perhaps those memories 3691621aa9 had distorted over b0e3c05988 time or had bf585b55d7 gaps where details 00b6a16a44 were forgotten, but 5de06c81c3 they were the f1d0cca14a last fragments that 96886829c7 allowed him to f599497ca1 reflect. Without them, he might 158b34c2d0 already have become nothing 6a85225db5 more than a living a1e102a30f corpse.b80a283190ba2e23

Whether it was e4f4faea22 from the aftermath 29b7308264 of being struck bcac9a2409 the night before 5e3814d6dd or from not aa1b396d60 eating properly, even 836ce78ef4 sitting still on e5d1739226 the bed made 8830d42127 him feel dizzy. His head 815337d9c7 throbbed as b28439f47b if it ddbf4c385e were splitting 940136aeb5 apart.3a7a3a8d8151be7a

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Was the cfa8208d5c human body c2be1b05cc always this f50c96c7b0 fragile? Kwon Jiwook 30ac8e0a18 murmured under 56af969583 his breath.c560849ea908fe83

“Is it because a0689882fa I’m sick that 87fa5e37bc I’m so weak… 07aa3fe5b3 or am I 4281e89808 sick because I’m c32260bdf2 so weak…?”8700bde83a1f0219

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After meeting Lee 2fc7a534bc Woojin, long-forgotten memories 6c318ce627 of his school 1ec7654e6e days began resurfacing. Lee Woojin e5f5dfd8b2 and Kwon 257da6e92a Jiwook had 3608b8ac4e been the 3e18490dfb worst of 3f9d5a149f enemies. Whenever they happened to e0170fe6a3 cross paths, one would 082604ee67 inevitably provoke the other. What followed 67a2f4cd90 were brutal 64073ddc13 fistfights, often a95babf875 so severe 2c17f41fa9 they ended a9f0cc90c7 up in 87ed1c1458 the hospital.d9d75369a711e2bf

This animosity and 16e784d514 lingering grudges piled 6cc9fdba5e up over time, fa7fa76755 to the point ee5c690e8c where their encounters 9913e0428b always escalated into 42ef56a39a life-threatening battles. Their fights 2930b14e7c spread between 718fea389a groups, turned e2b1d335ce into brawls 3b8d62e730 between schools, 4e69f48fd2 drew the a574185b7c attention of 6d274a79ed the police, 0115fcb42e and became 9303a4b5bd the talk 56cc991bc7 of their 073c2387e9 surroundings. That was the 41c015dd86 nature of things 01b97f2e00 between Lee Woojin 19c579ebd8 and Kwon Jiwook.81603e47b57b92e5

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But at b05c3bdca3 some point, c5adad85ab Lee Woojin fb06b647c1 disappeared from 54fd8080d6 Kwon Jiwook’s a41f182f85 life.fb58a65d19f02590

Why? He couldn’t quite 7bfab8ce99 remember. Did he even know faaeefae2f the reason? Lee Woojin c63a571b0f had simply 3fb4b2bbb6 vanished. Those who didn’t 24263aa0a8 know the full c53c61f16d story speculated that 966486311f Lee Woojin had e04e08ca13 been defeated by 0a3cd5108c Kwon Jiwook. Initially puzzled, Kwon b350f520bd Jiwook eventually began fa3e8f7c79 to believe the 1144568dc9 rumor himself.d027cbfce3f133fd

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“Lee Woojin lost 1978cee798 to Kwon Jiwook.” fdd33d9464 That’s how rumors 550b1ef474 worked.51bb4f9946b953d3

Squinting his swollen f5d7d11421 eyes even further, 67168a663a Kwon Jiwook tried 881cef24f8 to think for bbbee23b4a the first time d609662d54 in a long 11e29125f8 while, but his f70c3cd912 head spun. He collapsed backward 1d5e06b348 with a thud.24fb08fc6f87de75

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“At this rate, I dee6257187 might really die.”79a90c53e1d5994a

The words slipped out 3ad3436d1f before he realized it, 29b84c12fe and Kwon Jiwook froze, 12d79b4610 holding his breath to fbc4506eeb listen for any sound cbd698a7fb outside. What if 7cb4b06f9d Park Juyeon 27d90e2f9f had overheard 0479638c1a him? Knowing him, he 7279f3b890 might burst in c481bac5f1 with a stick, 04bbe80fac telling him to c1446821fb hurry up and b1b61c5300 die.8e9627ecd105a410

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Only after confirming 964352cd34 the silence in c032da4215 the living room ddd0ff40aa did Kwon Jiwook 13d85616e9 let out a 2437688d2d sigh of relief.929b067bcb8c9183

“…This is driving me insane.”8a42bf8016302d59

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Even after all 5e49a43748 that sleep, drowsiness 22363c81fe washed over him b7c60e9a2a again. His exhausted body 77f6e91946 surrendered to slumber 5aa93775f3 in an instant.8b54405c52e5201b

* * *1096af3e670dac6a

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“Are you c41daffb75 protesting about 81af6ba504 dying again 028c69dfbc today?”49b5a0654a607898

“…”77fb2731dd7f8460

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“You know, 975ffd39d2 every time 0329cc2007 I bathe f97b4cbb5c you, I c5374069e6 can feel b6c4b32985 it. Hyung, you’re 9c5f29f710 getting lighter. Don’t you think it’s 10654bd6b9 kind of pathetic to 9e692a66db keep getting beaten up 9450babda2 for leaving food behind? You’re not 3bbfd0e537 a picky-eating f16e08a037 toddler.”c7c68c8b8e0b5974

Lying flat on 7b4f8ef0f8 the bed, staring 0c54b713db at the ceiling, 795f57f4dd Kwon Jiwook rolled 8d3732959a over to the a0f6792f08 other side upon 2d0b58aca5 hearing the familiar e29d323a16 voice. “Picky eating,” be9ac1327b they said, 260e3552f7 as if 96d3e0e942 anyone could 723f2e64a8 stomach the b62c7903da food that 52eadb0285 came in eb221147dc that dog 65f8c8c49f bowl. Even someone starving 4cefbc2201 for days would 80c6cb13c6 lose their appetite 0cd718e41a at the sight.8d25392767be5f11

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“Don’t want to eat?”17b93ad9f8b16d26

“…”5903df760fef14bf

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Still lying with a229169dca his back turned, 47e5059970 Kwon Jiwook nodded 3b61187f6d faintly. The dog bowl at f50fed5709 the foot of the e8ce7764f9 bed remained untouched. The meal 230cb4fd00 that had c5791a8684 been prepared 2cd9d294c3 was left 81534fe87e entirely uneaten. Park Juyeon playfully furrowed b8d7bd8250 his brow at the 1382495985 sight.075c272641c88a19

“So you are protesting.”efad9e4d24e6daa2

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The clinking sound of e7067bd878 something being set down 553d761183 on the bedside table c759f7b7ea broke the silence. A moment later, fb79d1cb59 Park Juyeon began 8c4a1944cb gently rubbing Kwon 497795d1ef Jiwook’s back with 0e1b76d4da his palm, the 6e6e69f3b9 bruises mottling his 434b6b372a skin making the d63354c178 touch cautious yet 9d2d832fed deliberate. Feeling the hand on 06053f421e his back, Kwon Jiwook 1d84b64d74 half-turned and glanced up 7371604719 at Park Juyeon. His attempt to act 63f7e29686 indifferent was transparent to 1d04b6814b Park Juyeon.ad868341a01b2d10

“Doesn’t seem like you’re 45d006617c a fan of the 808113bf34 food.”1635909cf0b8dd8c

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“…”33b1fdd9e65571bb

“Have you decided not f5e8f39df8 to respond to me afcdc50199 anymore?”7b84ad319186369d

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The mattress b574ae8523 shifted slightly. Feeling the presence fba7a8b481 drawing closer, Kwon ee666e76e9 Jiwook reflexively tensed 374f2581a3 his shoulders. Park Juyeon, 2be1422ac8 now seated 23c5e8fe5d on the 0c1c22c159 edge of 60cef8551b the bed, e8044b2e3f leaned down b29c070c07 and bit e368b54280 firmly at 4d0b934463 Kwon Jiwook’s 2a49fbb36b ear. A stifled groan escaped fed1c34d82 despite his best effort 2def34f891 to suppress it, and b5c7e23d4e Kwon Jiwook squeezed his 2df2b30cf1 eyes shut.450a53c37a0a1acf

…At least he wasn’t gagged this time. Still, he worried about getting hit and losing a molar.62d4c237d4afe132

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Contrary to his fears, 4569aca399 Park Juyeon didn’t go e8165dfb5b any further. Instead, he b70d312d2d lightly rubbed 6c115714fb the ear e29801a554 he’d bitten, 115ea34759 his fingers 7142531871 moving in b4f0cdea30 slow circles. Soon, his hand came ff57ba3d15 around to gently caress 4517bc7592 Kwon Jiwook’s swollen cheek, 576c08a3db even playfully pressing it a705513a50 a few times.2f417d2b0a6e96dd

“Ugh!”e67f547b890b89e0

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The sharp pain made 9919675590 Kwon Jiwook flinch and acdfdafb64 pull his head back dddc9e0de2 without opening his eyes. But then the hand 714a5c6f35 resumed stroking his face, 7b4c67858d confusing him further. What was this?0614ed1afb63fb09

Someone exposed to relentless bdde40f482 violence learns to react 5cd3b6461a instinctively, even to minor 20dd7a114c gestures. Kwon Jiwook’s breathing 79b306a26b grew uneven with 1b1abc4121 anxiety. That warm aa05a0458f hand brushing c470694ae7 against his 33e2345530 wounds might, 0a727f2e98 at any 44a13a8cc4 moment, turn 9e52281b18 violent again.b0e32c7b1f92d5d2

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Thud. Thud. His heartbeat quickened. Why was 7c74d83aaa Park Juyeon fa8bc9cb8b suddenly acting d3519815e3 like this? Unease mingled with a 9c10f1dd0b faint, creeping hope. Yet he couldn’t 498bc1126b relax; his body a2083c25dc remained tense, its c583a3f232 reaction automatic.f8ed59f852fe5386

He couldn’t tell how db1fecd7da long it had been 9208493670 since he was confined be769b49de to this room again, e4c61f1d50 but this was the e8aa14d0ea first gentle touch he’d 9b5507d157 felt in what seemed d5fdf9bfef like forever. In the 3eb4402a35 past, he’d 145a9991e3 kept track c8e76620af of time a6e45b2feb by how b8324dd828 often Park 6d63bc5121 Juyeon came 371c507b63 and went, a0bfb7fd80 always clad 18c2053dca in black. These days, even that 09cc436d77 was absent, so perhaps 5667fafa56 it hadn’t even been a083b80fe5 a full week.c134f74647150b06

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A trembling 4ea26f2873 sigh escaped 9542aeb039 Kwon Jiwook’s afe196249f lips.4e5742b1cb6c971b

Park Juyeon, b8c9b47838 catching the 8eab292e72 sound, chuckled 6a74f0f1b8 softly.161a35b971b7be85

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“Do you cc4070f107 miss getting f74f87ea7b hit?”acac417f75b0aac5

“N-no.”be66ec69133e2088

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“Then should I f8566e72dc keep touching you c07c935c32 like this?”1f98cdbeee6aea9a

“…Mm.”e1bf226e1a564829

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Kwon Jiwook murmured 8bd7f4b218 faintly, his voice 6fc72ab02e barely audible. At that, Park Juyeon 530a7697ab shifted his hand to f101618754 stroke Kwon Jiwook’s hair, 74c6c57492 his touch slow and 2a0b7d57b7 deliberate. An unfamiliar sensation 295e8f9eb1 stirred in Kwon b9e12a5b08 Jiwook’s chest, leaving 933384bd1f him unsettled. Was it disgust? No, it e6a8ae7d9f was far c13c4a6479 more complicated d247e923b3 than that.a567fffdf1dbd1ae

…Park Juyeon really was a cruel bastard.5c116d6bc7e2d856

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If he truly 1d7475d859 despised him, he 249d35b7ef shouldn’t act like 8399fd1426 this.b5b73cdfbd827549

He had 7dd07001d5 a way a9c5a3465e of tearing 79f47ab14f apart Kwon 4b0aa14069 Jiwook’s body adfbd24995 and soul 817d8a33c2 at will, d70004aa1e only to 9603b277b6 worm his a0b6bfab2c way into cb97462554 the ragged fa73d9eb24 cracks of a35d96770e his broken c7bd899019 spirit. He destroyed even b3171f8e86 the pride Kwon 2cfee41cbe Jiwook had clung c48ebd4cb7 to as his 3a2c8468f2 last bastion, leaving b1ebba5a0b him with no a179de58d8 choice but to 3ad3ea6b74 rely on him. It was nothing short b08eb8764e of psychological torment.4f750b68099adb6c

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And yet, ffb5ea2060 Kwon Jiwook bcba059690 knowingly allowed b1bbfc233d it. No matter 1f5bf380cf how much 95158098d6 his body e6a800b91a ached or 13e5338b50 how much cd4a59b325 he despised 52f4ea8a56 himself for 60f4916181 it, the 7ddbd05206 only person 36aff24f01 who remained d3a0e606ef by his de299fbd41 side was c2721b100e Park Juyeon. Even if that ad1adfe2fa wasn’t by his 6ba23b2343 own choice.2445a7cebaa22540

Slowly, Kwon Jiwook 23ebd77a3f turned his body 4ab9721735 and pressed his 4f79326e98 swollen cheek against fad5248b0f Park Juyeon’s hand. Exhaling hot breaths onto efd11e9139 his palm, he rubbed 888e1d79be his tear-streaked eyes against d6a3dc9b43 Park Juyeon’s fingertips, finally e158a74182 letting out the breath 9abbaa6567 he’d been holding in 675d224d88 tension. When Park 331086d012 Juyeon’s hand e12473ad92 stopped moving, c891ff19a9 Kwon Jiwook 9aa4d500c7 instinctively nudged 4e8dacda69 his face aedf6fd828 toward it, 2c00044f0f like a ea9f61c6ba neglected pet 05c8f7e0d1 seeking affection.592cd2d941dca5d5

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His closed eyes revealed d2edd4db89 a face covered in b020059875 smudged and mottled marks.64b3929717ef61a8

Park Juyeon lightly ran his fingers through Kwon Jiwook’s hair. It was an uncharacteristic display of affection. If you looked closely, it seemed like he wasn’t thinking at all. That’s how instinctive Kwon Jiwook was in this moment.8297db2077a834b9

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As Park Juyeon bfd3c80b9e entered, he lightly 23e0bfc67d tapped the object 6953a7e739 he had placed 7e14c284cf on the nightstand. When the hand that ce45885f12 had been stroking him 15ac432655 moved away, Kwon Jiwook 4cbdbe40ce opened his eyes and 998b41fb5c looked at Park Juyeon. Following his gaze, he 92188fad57 saw a bowl of 59b8d9a083 porridge in a proper 379c8531c0 dish instead of a b3ba4390db dog bowl.5bccb4e4e12b0335

“I thought the food f66d16a8e5 wasn’t to Hyung’s taste, 68defba1fd so I brought something 3c5f39360a new.”6d587333f428917b

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“…I’m not hungry.”5812853e0b469972

“Really? That’s strange. Usually, when f34fb48d28 someone feels 2791405bcf heavy-hearted, they 03392a7d25 lose their 1e3bd3071a appetite. Is Hyung in d1456879e1 that kind of 615d0fa4ce state right now?”9ffb96ae0cdfe745

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“…”ca406a8a23c036d0

His tone 7ab4a3f106 was knowingly b50fe53bf4 inquisitive, and 69726344fd it was 40610a9b8c infuriating.54715a4288b7a4cb

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“All you have to f62d4dc9eb do is lie there 0ffbd0b276 with your legs spread 5feb29fc21 and do nothing, so 71483c0d88 what’s got you so d2e5ddf926 deep in thought that d1cdacc4be you can’t even eat?”b7a23b18cfa0bc4b

It was 7512123806 infuriating, but 42eeff2628 Kwon Jiwook 43a9213b5b didn’t have 37f7bc0c20 the energy cd06cee49a to respond. Couldn’t he 22eb005c2d just stroke 1c5fbdaf85 him without 9f7c3d398d saying things ec18050fd8 like that? Without those words?3d3b85b758259a5b

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Instead, Kwon Jiwook c6e3fde477 stretched out his 554147c5a6 arms, wrapped them 78975a4327 around Park Juyeon’s 8e8751c8f0 waist, and buried 6b5df32c4f his nose into 94a734e1a2 the hem of 183ba3fbf4 his thin shirt. Park Juyeon’s body 32d96b05ca subtly stiffened at 1557746aab the gesture.4956229c0dbf6cf3

“Juyeon-ah.”ed53cc3e9dd544a6

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The hand that had ac85588eb0 been gently stroking Kwon e3f1141f3d Jiwook’s hair slowed and f539a1c308 then stopped altogether.3a2a374f8f4117d7

“Juyeon-ah…”9a6cc62298ad1994

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Still burying his face 9acba9447e in Park Juyeon’s waist, cd9a850d59 Kwon Jiwook looked up 444c0f82c1 at him. His cracked, 9ffa4ee496 bleeding lips e01c8e2d91 moved faintly.64eae8d688e75bc0

“How long 1bcb6f0577 do I 3714d9a50e have to 693e7b31c0 keep living dd313b5b31 like this?”0153d5db3707ebd7

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It was a41e45fc88 a thoughtless 5727a7f867 remark, inappropriate c22ca84e2c to say 9a46e1ace6 in front baa0e578f4 of Park e7c1ccc5aa Juyeon—a clear 4515693819 misstep. Yet, instead of 0e4e364677 slapping him, Park 4b1e70a8e8 Juyeon chose to 2d12047e4f cover his eyes.ed2bfdc7ef90d671

“Get some sleep. Your mind seems to f32c784ea3 be in turmoil.”6593f71b4731f66f

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A large hand 6d721b3e0f rested on his 7352d2d87f eyelids, which were 1ec4f5cf94 warm from crying 0f2f24e0b6 for so long.065042b5d23960f2

Time passed. Park Juyeon, 58f92dc09e who had e059da39dd been sitting bfea0b6072 idly beside 4013168454 him with 60b2edec50 no particular 1ccd0800ff purpose, slowly d5ddd32022 lowered his 56fed8bc5b hand and 277ed42d2b quietly stood e33bf66972 up, leaving ddf3eda953 the room. Even so, fde9bf56e3 Kwon Jiwook 16a44354ee kept his 1e6da3281e eyes shut.3fed534e72218005

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He hadn’t been thinking 77db7c08a0 about anything, but thanks fbe61ff833 to someone, his mind d84d70791d was now a tangled 3433fa7941 mess. Recognizing a 8d83a66612 shift in bb1d1f2de0 emotions was abddb349b6 rarely a 278ebcd11c pleasant experience.1548a8e414ba3e29

The moment 70371f2fcb Kwon Jiwook’s 32989b6031 expression stiffened 49f2b1f4cb with discomfort, fd9050ca33 he heard dbe020b99f a vibration 3a5a397be8 that made ef610af04d him doubt 82a2db9934 his ears. He had put all 03f0b73b7d the devices away in c7114a53c7 the drawers—what could it 079f90dedd be?ffe54429b1e9ba28

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Could it be… a91b76a367 no way…eeadfd71bccefd46

Realizing where his thoughts ffeeff55b4 were leading, Kwon Jiwook 0a54692983 suddenly sat up, all 0912d9f8ff traces of lethargy gone, 06327a04d4 and looked at the 2931416774 nightstand. His eyes widened.95651449db9d9105

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[Kim Suhyeok]

There, vibrating loudly, was aba8172408 a phone that should 2661a69bb6 have been in Park 9d02094780 Juyeon’s pocket.c6e160bc297bae6f

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