DWWWB Ch 8 part 1

“Ah, Sunbae-niiim.”

I had to do my best to persuade PD Han.

“Ah, I said no.”

Today, PD Han was being especially stubborn. In this program, it was the PD’s job to shoot the interviews. In this episode, we were going to evoke the emotions of the viewers by cross-editing Gong Mujin’s interviews in the middle of the video.

“I failed the last time I interviewed him in the Ferris wheel. Why are you asking me to do it again? The interview that Sunbae did at the beach that afternoon was better.”

PD Han repeatedly shook his head. Then he called me to a temporary tent set up on one side of the parking lot. PD Han sat down in front of his laptop and showed me the video of his interview and then the video of the Ferris wheel interview. He motioned for me to look at the screen.

“I’ve already seen this a hundred times.”

A week has passed since that day. Filming was scheduled two to four days a week, taking into account the schedules of the staff and production crew. I was locked in the editing room until yesterday, editing the footage from last week.

This educational variety show, which received solid support from the parent company and was fully pre-funded, was completely different from the usual rushed broadcast production environment. The pros and cons were clear. The pro was that I could put a lot of effort into the program, but the con was that the desire to make it perfect also grew.

As a result, I stayed up all night in the editing room every day. I was probably the PD who knew the most about Gong Mujin in the world. Well… as long as he never dated another PD besides me…

Anyways, I wanted to put out something that looked better, so I watched footage I had already seen and then watched it again. Then I re-edited the video I had just edited. His eyes, the angle of his head, his voice, his speech… I watched it hundreds of times. I thought about what kind of subtitles would be good, and I also wanted to film more. I considered which direction I should take when I filmed in the future and modified the plan little by little.

But not this.

“If you’ve seen it a hundred times, you should know. How could you not?”

“I don’t know.”

I didn’t know what PD Han was trying to say.

“Look. When I interview him, Gong Mujin seems like the epitome of an athlete who has taken PR lessons.”

Gong Mujin was also excellent at speaking, as proven by his high intellect. Having lived in Germany for a long time, he was fluent in German. His French was good, and he could communicate in Spanish to some extent. English was a given. Even during his college years, his English was almost at the native level.

In another interview with PD Han, Gong Mujin’s appearance was the epitome of elegance. He answered questions without hesitation, and the vocabulary he used represented his refined insight.

“But look. When he does the interview with you…”

He stared at the screen with sunken eyes.

“Here, he’s just a normal Gong Mujin. He doesn’t try to be perfect.”

PD Han was a person who had the insight of a director. But now, I wanted to say that this wasn’t true.

“Sunbae-nim, I only had one or two questions back then. As you know, the situation was a bit special at the time. Athlete Gong Mujin…”

I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘fear of heights’ because I was afraid that other production staff members would hear.

“What did you talk about after the cameras were turned off?”

I kept my mouth shut as if it were full of honey. PD Han sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Then he suddenly got up from his seat and went out of the tent. I was getting anxious, wondering what he knew.

“If you refuse to film, then quit working on this program.”

“What?”

It was like a lightning bolt from the sky. PD Han wasn’t the type of person to be this stubborn.

“Sunbae-nim, what are you saying? This is something that can be adjusted.”

PD Han insisted that I had to do the interview, and I insisted that I absolutely could not. If there was trouble between the co-directors, the entire product team would become uncomfortable. Fights on set are common. However, this kind of stubbornness was not reasonable to me or PD Han.

“Sunbae-nim. Just this once, please?”

I began to follow PD Han as I spoke up in a pitiful voice.

“What’s going on?”

Gong Mujin was wearing a yellow jersey over cycling bib shorts (shorts with braces worn by road cyclists, including protective gear that covers important areas). He approached us while holding his helmet and cleats.

The video we were going to film today was the Samcheok uphill climbing where he’d ride up a high-altitude uphill area. The bike was going to lead the way followed by a car. There would also be a drone filming throughout.

This was originally supposed to be filmed last week, but as the schedule got pushed back a little, we ended up filming it this week.

A pair of mirrored goggles reflected the light as it sat on top of his neatly combed hair. His pale skin suited the yellow jersey awarded to the overall winner of the Tour de France quite well.

“Ah, Athlete Gong Mujin. Are you ready?”

“Yes, I’m ready.”

He replied with a cool smile.

“After filming the uphill climb, we’d like to do an interview at the top.”

PD Han spoke first. I stared off into the distance, trying to hide my bitter expression.

“We asked PD Oh to do the interview, but she keeps saying no. Did something happen with PD Oh on the Ferris wheel? If you are uncomfortable with PD Oh, I think she should be removed from the program.”

I never expected such a direct question to pop up.

“No.”

Gong Mujin gave PD Han a firm answer. Then he looked down at me as I stood next to him and asked.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?”

It was a cold question. The indifferent question, sounding as if nothing had happened, pricked my pride that had been trying to escape interviewing him.

“No.”

“Then is there a reason why you are refusing to film my interview?”

Gong Mujin’s gaze was fixed on me without a single tremor. I stared blankly at Gong Mujin. The events that happened at the Sokcho filming location last week flashed before my eyes.

“No. I didn’t film the Ferris wheel interview properly, and I thought PD Han’s interview was better. So I thought it was only right for PD Han to do the interview. PD Han and I just had a difference of opinion.”

His gaze shifted from me to PD Han.

“Even though he interviewed me, it seems that PD Han dislikes me more. Are you uncomfortable with me?”

Gong Mujin asked PD Han the same question he asked me.

“No. I thought Gong Mujin felt more comfortable with PD Oh. I thought my interview was no different from a normal TV interview. Of course, Gong Mujin’s answers were great. However, the interview with PD Oh was different. Didn’t you feel that way too?”

Gong Mujin stayed silent for a moment at PD Han’s questions. He didn’t say anything and just stared at the steep road he had to bike up. PD Han and I exchanged looks. In front of his heavy silence, we had no choice but to quietly wait for an answer.

“I am uncomfortable.”

Gong Mujin muttered in a gloomy voice. PD Han and I looked at each other.

“I would like to do the interview with PD Han.”

My face involuntarily hardened at his answer. My heart sank. My rejection and his rejection felt completely different. He then told us that if we were done talking, he would go and prepare for the trek up.

“What is it? When you rejected him and when he rejected you… Does it feel different?”

PD Han asked me, reading my exact thoughts. I nodded slowly.

“Aigoo, how fickle.”

“I’m not being fickle. The subject is uncomfortable with his director…”

PD Han nodded and muttered.

“Think carefully about the sin you committed.”

Did he truly know something? PD Han’s words stuck out to me.

PD Han urged me to hurry and set up the slate. I was going to watch the uphill climb footage on a monitor in a temporary tent we had set up. PD Han got into the car that was going to follow Gong Mujin. The drone director stayed in the tent with me.

He wore cleats that made a clicking sound every time he walked. He also wore a helmet and goggles. It wasn’t the first time I was seeing him in person, fully dressed for a competition, but my heart was racing. In the past, he had the fresh look of a new player, but now he had the overwhelming aura of someone who was at the top.

With the clap of the slate, the starter bike with the attached cameras departed first. He was going to climb a section with a gradient of 10%. The average gradient of the beloved Seoul uphill climbing section by the Han River was around 5 to 6%. Today, the 10% he was going to climb was a section that required considerable physical strength and power.

This was a scene that had to be filmed in one shot. Repeating the filming could strain his body. After finishing the main filming, he was scheduled to participate in the Tour de France, which was to be held at the end of July. So the program was also scheduled to be uploaded in early August when the Tour de France was in full swing.

If he does well in this Tour de France, the program would also be a success. So his good performance was a win-win situation for both parties. In such a situation, protecting the athlete’s condition was something we naturally kept in mind.

As soon as he put his cleats on the pedals, he started off. The scene of him climbing up the hill was a work of art through the camera lens. Road cyclists use the dancing riding technique when climbing hills. It is called as such because the way the bike moves from side to side looks like it is dancing.

His dancing was so captivating that he appeared in various ads for famous sports brands and was plastered on billboards in Times Square in New York and the Piccadilly Circus in London. His appearance, as he sat on the seat, his upper body lowered, gripping the handlebars, and breathing heavily, was sensual, if not beautiful.

But no broadcaster had ever filmed him climbing uphill outside of a commercial. I was completely captivated by the energy he exuded, which was completely different from what I saw on top of the bed.

Even the broadcasted footage of the competitions couldn’t create the same atmosphere as the one now. The image of Gong Mujin, who seemed to be challenging the limits of the world rather than sprinting for the championship, was perfect in itself. I was completely captivated by the sweat dripping down his sharp jawline, his hair fluttering softly under his helmet, and his panting face. Not only me, but the entire production team seemed to feel the same.

When he finally reached the top, he raised his upper body and stopped pedaling. He took his hands off the handlebars and pulled down his jersey zipper, instantly revealing his solid chest muscles. With each breath, the muscles of his chest expanded and contracted.

“The picture came out well.”

Writer Park, who was standing next to me, slowly clapped her hands as if she’d lost her mind.

“Cut!”

PD Han’s voice rang out from the walkie-talkie. The drone director quickly monitored the scenes he had shot with the fly-up (a technique in which the camera rises to capture its subject) when Gong Mujin set off and the tracking shots (a technique in which the camera follows the subject in the air) he had taken while Gong Mujin was moving.

I relayed the results of the drone footage to PD Han via walkie-talkie.

“Drone okay.”

— Did you get the surround (a technique of taking pictures while moving around the subject)?

The drone director standing next to me nodded and answered back.

“I also got the surround and the fixed tracking (a technique of placing a subject in the center of the screen and following while maintaining altitude).

I nodded to the drone director and added to the walkie-talkie.

“Did you hear that? I don’t think we need to do any additional filming.”

— Okay, now let’s get to the interview at the top. Tell Writer Park to send a message to Jinwon if she has any additional questions.

The interview at the top was conducted without monitoring from the tent. The filming was over quickly. Filming was the least time-consuming part of program production. The planning and editing stages took the longest time.

The staff gathered under the tent and busily moved around. As they finished with the various arrangements, the group that had climbed to the top had come down. However, Gong Mujin was not with them.

“Who are you looking for?”

PD Han asked me as I wandered around.

“Where is Athlete Gong Mujin?”

As I looked around the staff, I felt PD Han’s gaze on me and looked up at him.

“He said he’d go for a ride before coming back.”

“Alone? What if he gets injured?!”

I raised my voice without realizing it.

“Gong Mujin doesn’t seem that foolish… Aren’t you worrying too much?”

PD Han remarked casually, but I paused for a moment because I felt like my hidden feelings had been exposed.

“There’s still a lot of filming left, so it would be bad if he got hurt.”

Although it was something I could easily say as a PD, I felt uneasy because I could tell PD Han was observing me.

“Okay, okay.”

PD Han nodded his head with a smile.

“We’re having a company dinner today. The filming was finished in one go, so all we have to do is film at the restaurant tomorrow.”

“Why do we always have a company dinner every time we film?”

A loud outburst suddenly poured out from PD Han in response.

“If you don’t like it, then leave. Last week, the staff had an ordinary dinner together. How can you call that a company dinner? Gong Mujin will be here today. Since you’re so tired from filming one thing today, why don’t you go inside and rest, PD Oh-nim.”

Even when there was a tough shoot, after it was over, we would gather in small groups and have a get-together to relieve stress. Since we were a very fast-paced group, we often had drinking parties. Although I knew this, I felt awkward even at company dinners because of Gong Mujin’s overwhelming presence.

You should say it straight. There’s something bothering you, right?

As I recalled my visit to his room last week, a dull heat began to surge in my lower abdomen. I shivered once and tried to shake it off.

Just go. You should go. How can a PD excuse herself?

After arriving at our lodging, the production crew gathered at a nearby meat restaurant now that we had some free time. The menu was surprisingly Heongseong Korean Beef even though we were only expecting the usual pork ribs. The production crew’s eyes lit up. The drinks served were varied, from Bokbunja wine to Gangneung Brewery beer.

“Sunbae-nim, did we get some kind of raise? Did we sell our soul to the company? I want to keep mine.”

I made an ‘X’ with my arms and pretended to wrap them around my torso.

“Why would we sell our souls? Today, Athlete Gong Mujin said he’d pay.”

Writer Park sat down next to me and smiled. Gong Mujin, who usually sits with the production staff, was nowhere to be seen today. I looked around the table where four or five people were gathered, and Gong Mujin’s bright, smiling face caught my eye as he sat between the young writers and the AD. All of the people sitting at that table happened to be women.

“PD Oh, have a drink.”

“I’ll have to decline.”

I didn’t take a sip of liquor despite the camera director’s insistence. While everyone was getting drunk, I glanced at the table where Gong Mujin was sitting. They were all laughing and causing a scene while playing all sorts of drinking games. Gong Mujin’s smile was so charming that it almost made my heart ache.

They’re really having a blast.

How many times and how many places had Gong Mujin oozed that much charm through the years?

I decided not to let my thoughts get the better of me, and as soon as the beef was cooked, I put it in my mouth.

“Oh my, our PD Oh is eating well. Because of PD Oh, Athlete Gong Mujin is going to have to spend a lot of money.”

I glared at the teasing camera director. Even though I didn’t like the atmosphere, I was surprised to find that the food was going down smoothly. I used to stop eating whenever I was nervous, but today was the complete opposite.

I have to eat. I have to film tomorrow, so I have to eat to live.

“Still, let’s have a drink.”

The camera director kept pushing me to drink until the end. I had no choice but to drink a couple of beers. Normally, I would have been able to drink a bottle of soju, but maybe because I was stressed, I got really drunk after the two beers.

“I’m going out to get some fresh air.”

As for Gong Mujin? He was so busy talking with his table that he didn’t even realize I was leaving. I got up from my seat and headed to the bathroom that was located in the hallway next to the stairs of the building. In the bathroom, the writers who had been sitting at the same table as Gong Mujin were chatting away.

“Does Athlete Gong Mujin have a girlfriend?”

This was asked by the maknae writer in the group. She was in her early twenties with long wavy hair that reached the middle of her back.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”

Another writer, who was no longer the maknae writer in the group, answered her.

“I should ask him. If he has a girlfriend or not.”

Hehe, her unique, cheerful giggle sounded jarring to my ears.

“PD-nim! Does Athlete Gong Mujin have a girlfriend?”

She threw the question at me after I exited the stall and began washing my hands. The maknae writer blushed and squirmed.

“I’m not sure either.”

I replied nonchalantly, smoothing out my bangs with my wet hands. I met the maknae writer’s eyes through the mirror. She hesitated as if she had something she wanted to say.

“If you have something to say, say it. What is it?”

The maknae writer smiled at my question.

“Nothing, just…”

She seemed to be very drunk. I was about to ask the other writers to help the maknae writer into the lodging rooms first, but everyone had already gone back into the dining area. The surroundings were empty.

“Yew seeee, I rea-uh-lly like PD Oh. I’ve aaaalways wanted too work with PD Oh. I luuuuuuuv you, PD Oh!”

The maknae writer, who had been fine until just a moment ago, was starting to slur her words. She was cute as she drunkenly drew a heart above her head. I took the staggering writer out of the bathroom.

“Waaa! It’s Athlete Gom Mujin! I rea-uh-lly like Athlete Gom Mujin. I’ve aaaalways wanted to work with Athlete Gom Mujin. I luuuuuuuv you, Athlete Gom Mujin!”

The writer leaned back against me and raised both her arms over her head to make a heart shape. I stumbled under her weight.

“Be careful. You’ll fall at this rate.”

Gong Mujin held the writer’s arm and supported her. Thanks to his help, I was able to straighten up, but for some reason, a corner of my heart felt uncomfortable.

“I’ll take you back to your room.”

“Thankyuu, thankyuu.”

The writer bowed and leaned forward. Gong Mujin supported her with both arms. My head began to spin, and my scalp grew hot. I watched the two continue to chat and turned back towards the restaurant.

I hadn’t been aware of it, but it seemed that Gong Mujin lived this kind of life. So I didn’t need to attach much significance to that night.

‘I’ve only buried my body inside one woman. Only one.’

His soft, trembling voice lingered in my ears. People could say anything when they wanted to seduce someone into having a one-night stand. Had Gong Mujin always been such a player? I guess people can change… I continued to walk as these thoughts whirled in my head.

“PD Oh-nim.”

I heard Gong Mujin calling me from behind. I slowly turned around and glared at the man who was supporting the writer.

“Is there a staff member who can take her to her room?”

“Weren’t you planning on personally taking her to her room?”

The twisted question popped out. My pride was bruised. I could have just told him I’d find someone for him, but I was picking a fight without realizing it.

“Should I?”

He asked back. His hardened eyes were staring at me.

“Go ahead.”

I answered him in a clipped voice and turned around.

“Oh Milhee.”

He called my name in a low voice.

“Come here.”

I kept my eyes away from him and stared into the distance.

“I don’t know what kind of misunderstanding you have in your head, but don’t leave without resolving it.”

“Why do you always say I’m misunderstanding? You don’t even give me a proper explanation! What do you plan on talking to me about? You never listened to me from the beginning, Oppa. All you cared about was your schedule. How I lived, what I did, and what sacrifices I had to make to see you didn’t matter to you at all.”

It wasn’t a sacrifice worth my life. I wondered if it could even be called a sacrifice. Every time I met him, he listened to me. He hid every one of his worries from me.

But wasn’t it true that I made a lot of concessions for him? Were the results of his competitions important but not the things that would determine my future?

No one could dare judge how valuable one life was compared to another. My life was just as important as his.

“You said you had nothing to discuss! You said you had nothing to explain to me, right? See? You didn’t want to talk or have a heart-to-heart conversation with me. You just wanted to have a physical relationship. Wasn’t I just some kind of backup where you could relieve your urges every time you came to Korea?”

His face hardened terribly. For a moment, I thought I had gone too far, but I couldn’t take it back. Since I’d already exploded, I might as well just let it all out.

“Well, the backup period has expired. It was a one-time thing. Since you’ve used it up, let’s end this now.”

The staggering writer looked back and forth between me and Gong Mujin with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

She must have returned to her senses. The writer bowed and hurried into the restaurant.

“Aaah…”

I sighed and swept my forehead and my eyes with my right hand. He slowly drew closer to where I was standing.

“Don’t come any closer.”

I muttered out a warning.

“I said don’t come any closer.”

He ignored me and snatched my wrist. Then he briskly walked away.

We stood facing each other behind the restaurant building, surrounded by stacks of liquor cases. He didn’t say anything and just looked down at my face.

“Are you jealous?”

I was taken aback by his quiet question. I burst into laughter because it was so absurd.

“What?”

I scowled as I asked.

“I asked if you were jealous. Because I was sitting at a different table and showing concern for that woman.”

“Not at all!”

I even shook my head vigorously from side to side.

“Then why are you so emotional?”

Gong Mujin dared to point out my attitude. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t even laugh. I threw Gong Mujin a fierce glare. I glared so hard that my eyes felt like they were going to fall out. He strode over to me.

As the gap between us closed, I had to tilt my head back to look up at him.

“I thought long explanations were no longer necessary.”

“Why? Why is it no longer necessary?”

I thought an explanation was necessary.

“Oh Milhee, what do you want to hear from me?”

For a moment, I was speechless. I wanted to hear that you missed me. I wanted to hear that you yearned for me. I wanted to hear that you had a difficult time with the way we broke up.

But what was the point?

That night last week may have been a mistake. Didn’t I promise myself I wouldn’t get caught up like that again?

But once again, I foolishly ended up being the first to show my emotions.

“Then why didn’t you explain back then?”

And now I was even bringing up the past.

“Because I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Ha!”

A hollow scoff flowed out of my lips.

“There were so many things I had to deal with that I didn’t even realize a weird article had come out. When I did want to talk to you, I couldn’t get in touch with you. And then…”

After pausing for a moment, he opened his mouth again.

“But even if I did have a chance to talk to you, I probably wouldn’t have said anything. My mother, who abandoned me and got remarried, died. I ended up taking care of the younger sister she gave birth to. The person who is supposedly my father was threatening to sue me for assault. So if I won prize money, I had to pay him back as a settlement.”

He spoke of the past in a calm voice. Although he had a lot of media exposure, his family history had never been revealed. And I didn’t know much about his family either.

“But maybe there was a chance for me to tell you. I once heard news about you from Heesu, and I also met Hyunho-hyung.”

“My brother?”

Perhaps it was my instinctive attempt to soften this cold atmosphere. The question regarding my brother suddenly popped out of my mouth.

“Yeah.”

He smiled faintly when he saw my reaction.

“After my mother passed away, my younger sister had a hard time. That’s why I couldn’t… leave her with other family members. I wanted her to grow up to be a bright and smart woman like you, so I tried to be a good older brother like Hyunho-hyung.”

I couldn’t say anything and merely chewed the inside of my cheek in silence.

“I don’t know if you saw it, and so maybe you misunderstood, but… the photo in that article was of my sister.”

“I don’t know what difference it makes now.”

I was the one who brought up the past. However, I also knew that it was useless.

“You don’t know?”

He ruffled my bangs.

“I didn’t want to break up with you. I just didn’t have the opportunity or the right to hold onto you.”

His tone sounded indifferent. Instead, I was the one with tears in my eyes.

“Then…”

I opened my mouth, not knowing what to say.

“Oh Milhee!”

I heard PD Han’s voice calling my name.

“PD Oh!”

“Where the hell did she go? She even left her cell phone behind. So you’re saying she was fighting with Athlete Gong Mujin just now?”

“That’s… Just now…”

I heard Writer Park urging the maknae writer to speak. I left Gong Mujin behind and ran to the restaurant. My heart was pounding.

“I’m here!”

“Hey! You!”

PD Han put his hands on his waist and shouted. Writer Park also sighed and looked relieved.

“Well, our maknae came in and suddenly started crying.”

I smiled awkwardly and waved my hand, indicating nothing happened. I just hoped Gong Mujin wouldn’t pop up from the same place I came from. This was completely different from when we roamed around campus as a couple back in college. Gong Mujin was now a sports star recognized by half the world, not to mention the entire nation.

“Nothing happened.”

PD Han nodded. Writer Park started talking to me as he walked towards the restaurant parking lot.

“Nothing really happened? Our maknae was saying something ridiculous. She said that Athlete Gong Mujin was really bad. That our PD Oh was so pitiful. She keeps crying. She said that the two of you were yelling at each other outside.”

It was a mess. I was worried about Gong Mujin, and I was very concerned about the chaotic atmosphere among the production crew.

“It’s nothing like that. We were just talking, and I think our maknae misunderstood because she had too much to drink.”

“Well, then that’s a relief. There’s still a lot of filming left to do… Go in and sort things out. The vibe is absolutely ridiculous right now. From the beginning, it seemed like things were a bit awkward between PD Oh and Athlete Gong Mujin. That’s why people started talking. You know how it is. The people at broadcasting stations catch on real quick.”

I nodded, indicating I understood.

“I don’t believe all the strange rumors, but Gong Mujin has been involved in a lot of scandals. So I wondered if something happened with PD Oh, too…”

“It’s nothing like that. You know how I am, don’t you? And you don’t believe in strange rumors. Athlete Gong Mujin is a good person.”

I felt frustrated because there was nothing I could do in this situation other than to raise my voice.

“Let’s head inside for now.”

As I entered the restaurant with Writer Park, everyone’s eyes shifted to me.

“I’m sorry! I was a bit stubborn with our subject. I’m sorry! I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

In the end, it was concluded that I was being stubborn in order to create good footage. The restaurant, which had grown quiet for a moment due to my arrival, became noisy again. In the meantime, Gong Mujin also entered the restaurant.

“Athlete Gong Mujin, even though our PD Oh may look like this, she’s not normal.”

The veteran camera director spoke to Gong Mujin with a smile.

“Yes, I’m sorry for being unusual. Since I’m not normal, our program will also be an extraordinary hit! Let’s all do our best!”

I stood up and raised my glass into the air. The atmosphere changed in an instant. Thank goodness. Everyone quickly filled their glasses and raised them high.

“Let’s hit daebak!”

“Let’s hit daebak!”

I always got goosebumps whenever I made a toast, but today was especially intense. I gulped down a glass of soju.

It was cold, so I felt even more dazed and sad… I hoped that the confusing conversation would fade away with alcohol.