DWWWB Ch 7 part 2

“What the…”

My brother asked in a low, hushed voice. I was very rarely afraid of him, but right now, I was incredibly afraid.

“Yeah, Oppa. I didn’t have any afternoon classes today.”

I tried to answer as naturally as possible, but my voice sounded awkward like a kindergartener reading a storybook.

“Who…?”

My brother asked the same question Gong Mujin’s aunt had asked, but in a much more sinister and threatening way.

“Hello, I’m Gong…”

“Gong Mujin. Yes, your name was Gong Mujin, right? You’ve met me before.”

My brother was smart and had a good memory.

“Yes, that’s correct, sir.”

“I heard you quit school to cycle.”

He was beating around the bush instead of asking why he was hanging around in his little sister’s room.

“I came to Korea for a bit.”

My brother repeatedly looked at me and then him.

“That time… You didn’t go to school for two weeks because of this kid, right?”

His memory was good when it came to useless things, really.

I frowned and bit my lip as a way to tell him to stop.

“You two have been together longer than I expected. Come out. What are you two doing in this room?”

My brother was someone who seemed to be helpful in my life but was actually not.

“Why did you suddenly come home, Oppa?”

“I had to work outside the office today, and it ended early.”

I wondered if his body had a sister surveillance sensor attached to it. I don’t know why he only appears when something like this happens.

“Eat dinner before you go.”

I got upset at my brother’s thoughtless remark.

“There’s no need!”

“Then I guess I’ll personally tell Mom everything I saw.”

Ah, seriously, that jerk is such a big mouth…

I turned to Gong Mujin as he sat next to me and flashed him a helpless look. He gave me a faint smile as if to say it was okay and patted my back.

My mom, who works in the product development team at an insurance company, didn’t have time to prepare dinner. My brother ordered various delivery foods and prepared the table before my parents came home. He’s a good brother who is good at housework.

“Is someone here?”

My mom asked as soon as she walked through the front door. She must have seen the unfamiliar shoes.

“Hey, Mom. My school hoobae.”

From now on, Gong Mujin is no longer my boyfriend. He is my brother’s school hoobae. I guess he thought it would be more natural this way. Even my father’s eyes, which would burn bright with anger at any mention of a boyfriend, turned gentle when I told him he was Oppa’s school hoobae.

“If you’re Hyunho’s hoobae at school, aren’t you also our Milhee’s sunbae?”

“Yes, that’s right, sir.”

He couldn’t even lift his spoon properly as he answered all of my mother’s questions.

“But since they’re from different departments, they probably wouldn’t know each other, right?”

My brother asked me with a gleeful expression on his face. He seemed to be having a blast.

“Huh? Yeah.”

I glared at my brother when my parents weren’t looking.

“Dad, Mujin is a cyclist. He belongs to Bora-Hansgrohe.”

“Whaaat?”

When my father heard this, he put down his spoon. My father had recently become a ‘Percombi’. This was short for ‘Person who Commutes by Bicycle’. So he was very generous when it came to bicycles. Of course, he didn’t ride a road bike, but my father, who had heard various things in regards to this subject, grew very excited.

“One of our staff members is an amateur athlete. There’s the Tour de Korea, right? He went there too. Oh! Right. He said he participated in the Tour de France the year before last and received a souvenir.”

“Dad, this kid is the one who won first place in the Under 25 category.”

My brother surprisingly knew quite a lot about Gong Mujin.

“Wow, I better get your autograph.”

My father, whose face would turn red even after drinking a glass of beer, was already drunk from the soju my brother recommended. He brought the helmet he used to commute to work and a permanent marker. He smiled at Gong Mujin and asked for his autograph. Gong Mujin smiled awkwardly and signed my father’s yellow helmet.

My father claimed he’d show it off to his employees when he got to work, and my brother barely managed to dissuade him, telling him it looked too pathetic. Through my brother and father’s questions, I learned that he was leaving the country tomorrow. That the autograph on the helmet was his second autograph ever, and that he was planning to participate in a grand tour, starting with the Tour de France in the summer and the Vuelta a España in Spain in the fall.

My brother let him go only after he emptied three bottles of soju. As if to keep us from doing anything stupid, he excluded me and went out to see off his ‘hoobae Gong Mujin’.

He was leaving the country tomorrow. How could he do this?!

As soon as my brother came back home, I got a call from him.

“I’m sorry about today.”

I felt so sorry I could die.

— It’s nice to see such a harmonious family.

Although there was a hint of laughter in his voice, it strangely sounded a bit eerie.

“I can see you briefly before you go to the airport tomorrow.”

— Yeah.

The next morning, he came to my house early. We said our sorrowful goodbyes at the airport bus station near my house. We couldn’t kiss on the street, but we held each other tightly until the bus arrived.

He got on the bus, sat down in the window seat, and smiled and waved. I couldn’t leave the bus stop even after the bus became as small as a dot. Then I sobbed.

Perhaps because he was busy preparing for the competition, he didn’t come to Korea until the summer. Then, in the Tour de France held that summer, he won a stage and got the red polka-dot jersey. It was the jersey given to the rider with the best performance on the climbing course.

The Tour de France awards a yellow jersey to the overall winner, a white jersey to the fastest rider under 25, a green jersey to the rider with the most stage points, and a red polka-dot jersey to the rider who conquered the mountain stages.

The red polka-dotted jersey was a symbol of conquest over the rugged pass. It was a jersey that suited Gong Mujin, a Korean who appeared like a comet. News of his victory was covered as a special feature in every media outlet.

“Congratulations.”

He smiled at my greeting before saying that it seemed like this was just the beginning. He said he might be even busier because of the Vuelta a España in the fall. I had to prepare for the second semester of my senior year. And I also said that I would be busy preparing to find a job.

I thought our relationship would continue smoothly, just like this.

And then, two weeks before the Spanish competition, something happened. It was a very small article in the foreign press, but it was an article that I could easily find since I looked for articles about Gong Mujin every day.

The article said that road cyclist Gong Mujin had bought a house in Germany and was living with his girlfriend. The small picture seemed to have been taken from a building near his house, looking down. The woman’s back was captured, and he was smiling as he opened the front door and went inside. The woman’s hair was brown, and she seemed to come up to his shoulders.

Tears didn’t even come out of my eyes. It felt so unrealistic that I found it funny.

A few days later, I got a call from him. His story had now been picked up by several media outlets. It had been picked up by the Korean media as well, but it was buried because there were other events that people were paying attention to.

“I think we have something we need to discuss… Do you have anything you’d like to explain to me?”

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone.

— I don’t.

“If you don’t, then that’s fine.”

I don’t know if it was because he didn’t know English or if he just didn’t care about my feelings.

Looking back, our relationship was not normal. Cycling was a sport where all three of the world’s major competitions were in Europe. His team was in Germany. He would continue to live in Europe.

But I wanted to work as a PD at a Korean broadcasting station. I would live in Korea.

It was a simple answer to a simple problem, and I only realized it then.

Two weeks later, he won a stage in Spain, this time with speed. The media was more excited than in the summer, going crazy about the birth of an all-round sprinter with speed and power.

Fall was coming. He called me as soon as the competition was over, but I missed the call because I was taking a mock exam before the media exam. I called him again after the exam was over, but his phone was turned off.

The next day, his picture was taken at a tour afterparty with models whose names were difficult to pronounce. The photo was published in an online newspaper. Now, he felt like he had become someone who was too far away. His position had completely changed.

He said that with his tight training schedule and all the invitations to participate in several tour programs, it would be difficult for him to come to Korea for the time being.

I felt like it was time to let go of the love I was holding onto so tightly. No, maybe I thought that if I told him I wanted to break up, he might hold onto me.

I usually sent him an email whenever I couldn’t get in touch with him. One evening, when I was figuring out my grades for a job application, I impulsively wrote him an email. I realized that my grades were poor in the subjects that had been neglected due to my spending time with him.

The subject I had skipped because I was learning how to ride a bike. The subject where I had even skipped my meeting with the professor… I was so crazy about the man I only saw once every few months and talked to twice a week that I couldn’t even manage my grades properly. Come to think of it, he didn’t even know that I had an important project coming up or that I had a meeting with a professor.

「Oppa. We’ve been dating for a long time. Right? It’s already been two years.」

I tried not to be sentimental in my email as I reminisced about the past two years.

「From now on, I’ll be watching you from afar and cheering you on. Even though we’ve always been far apart… Thank you for teaching me how to ride a bike and giving me so many good memories.」

I hoped that I wouldn’t show my foolishness dripping down my cheeks. I pressed the send button and couldn’t get up from my desk for a long time. He would probably check his email a few days later as usual. And then he would call me a few days after that.

And will we meet again in a few months?

Unfortunately, my expectations were way off. He didn’t check his email for over a week. I had made up my mind to break up, so I impulsively changed my phone number. A few days later, I checked my email again. We shared passwords for our email accounts.

I foolishly logged into his email account. He had checked all his recent emails, but mine was still unread.

As usual, he showed me how he felt with his actions rather than his words.

That’s how we broke up. It was a natural separation between lovers who had been apart.

Was it because I wanted to save the little bit of pride I had left? Or was it because I wanted to cut off the anxiety of waiting for his possible response?

I even deleted my email account, which was my last means of contacting him.

It was refreshing. For a while.

I studied to death. I took summer classes until just before graduation to improve my grades. Naturally, I failed all the broadcasting station exams that year. I started studying English again and devoted myself to studying Korean history and the Korean language.

When I was 26, I joined a broadcasting station. I worked as an AD until I nearly died, and then I was promoted to PD. When I was 30, I quit my first job and moved to another broadcasting station.

And then I met him again when he was thirty-two years old.

* * *

It was Heesu who told me that my mother was sick. She said that the pancreatic cancer had spread to her stomach and small intestine. She said that she had difficulty digesting food and felt nauseous. Her husband, whose business was not doing well, and her son, who was not related to her by blood, did not accompany her to the hospital. In the end, it was my youngest aunt who took her to the hospital.

I was told that my mother waved off the news that she had to be admitted to the hospital right away. Her husband’s business was not going well, and her eldest son was getting married soon, so she wanted to keep it a secret for the time being. All I could think was that she was being foolish.

— I think she wants you to persuade her, Oppa. Auntie said that even when she doesn’t listen to other people, she’ll listen to you.

It was funny. Listening to the words of a child who abandoned her because she liked another man. I had no intention of calling my mother. When I fainted due to a high fever and was carried to the hospital emergency room on my grandmother’s back, my mother didn’t know. I can still hear my grandmother’s consoling voice as my youngest aunt cried in her school uniform.

‘Why are you crying so much? The baby didn’t die.’

My grandmother saved me with her uniquely stubborn temperament. After that, I didn’t show any side-effects of being parentless, but I was often sick. My grandmother looked at me with pity, but sometimes, she hid her affection as if she didn’t want me to grow up spoiled.

— Your mother collapsed and is in the hospital right now. At least come here. She might be in big trouble.

My youngest aunt’s cold voice came from the other end of the phone. I wanted to call Milhee as soon as I arrived in Korea, but her voice sounded desperate.

When I turned on my cell phone in Korea, a message from Heesu came in.

[I heard your mom didn’t really faint, Oppa. I think she’s putting on a show because she wants to see you. Call me. We’ll talk about the details over the phone.]

You kept it a secret from your husband and eldest son, but it seems that you still wanted to tell me that you were dying.

— No matter how sick she is, I can’t understand her. What has that person done for you? This is such an important time for you, what on earth is she doing to you? If she’s thinking about you even a little bit, she shouldn’t be doing this!

Heesu was more upset. I did what I could to calm Heesu down as she sobbed and hung up the phone. Heesu was the type of person who didn’t know how to hide her feelings, but she would go as far as to speak ill of the sick. This only showed just how pitiful my mother was. My youngest aunt told my mother that I was returning to Korea. I ultimately turned off my phone.

When I got home, I laid in bed for a while. There was someone I wanted to see so badly. But if I met her like this, I thought I’d show her an ugly side of me. And I was tired. I thought I should close my eyes for a bit before calling her.

I felt something soft touch my eyes. I opened my eyes because of a familiar scent. The face I wanted to see so badly was smiling right in front of me. I asked if it was a dream, and she smiled and said no. I was in a hurry, and there was no direct flight, so I took a flight via Shanghai. I knew I smelled like sweat.

I quickly finished showering and came out to hug her. As always, my anxiety was immediately soothed. The aggressive instinct that had abruptly risen up due to the terrifying surprise quietly subsided.

It was like sediment in water. When someone stirred, I would become turbid and polluted. And when she touched me, it settled back deep into the bottom. That’s why I liked the moments when I held her soft body. In those moments, I felt like I was becoming a proper, gentle human being.

I was able to ignore the resentment I had from being abandoned by my parents. The remnants of wounds that had accumulated in my heart as I grew up.

When we came out of the room, we ran into my aunt who had already come home. I was absentmindedly eating with her, and she secretly hinted that she wanted to speak with me, so I sent Milhee to my room. She must have heard our voices as I fought with my aunt.

When I entered the room, unable to contain my anger, I felt my heart completely crumble. As if comforting my collapsing heart, she hugged me with her soft body without asking any questions.

The next day, unable to resist the urging of my youngest aunt, I went down to the seaside city where my mother lived. Contrary to Heesu’s words, my mother was near death. My half-sister Jiwwo was guarding our mother’s bedside at the hospital. She must not have gone to school.

“Oppa!”

Jiwoo happily greeted me.

“How did you get here? Did you come here after hearing the news about Mom? Mom waited for you a long time. She just took some medicine and fell asleep.”

“Have you eaten lunch?”

My younger sister, who was now sitting in the hospital room, just entered high school this year. As the youngest child, she should have grown up spoiled and pampered, but she had an infinitely dark expression on her face. When I took Jiwoo out for lunch and returned to the hospital, my mother’s husband and his son were in the hospital room.

“Let’s talk a bit.”

He cursed me up and down, saying that I was a bastard who didn’t care about his sick mother. He yelled so loudly at the end of the hallway that the people in other rooms came out to look at him. The nurses didn’t dare approach him, but they watched worriedly from a distance.

“Give me the money. Are you satisfied eating well and living well all by yourself? Shouldn’t you be paying for your mother’s hospital bills?”

I heard that my mother’s husband’s business had been in decline due to poor construction conditions. Now, he was demanding that I pay for the hospital bills.

“Do you have any right to receive money for the hospital bills from me?”

“What did you say, you little shit?! F*ck, that’s now how this works! You think you’re all that? You little shit. You don’t know how scary the world is! I’m going to expose you. You shameless bastard, you don’t care that your mom’s sick. I’m going to tell the reporters!”

Before he could even think, the punch flew. Hyung, a bastard who didn’t share a drop of blood with me, fell to the ground. His father cursed and looked terrified. It was the first time in my life I hit someone. I approached the man who had fallen and stomped on his chest with my foot.

“Hey, get that off him. How dare you, you bastard! You dirty little shit! Your bloodline can’t be hidden. You take after your father…”

I glared at the man who cursed at me. He seemed furious that his son’s chest was being trampled on. But it was funny how he trembled when he saw my gaze.

“Say one more word. I can really kill him. Reporter? Call them and tell them everything. The moment you open your mouth, you’re dead.”

Jiwoo, who had briefly stepped away because she needed to call her school, ran over to me and grabbed my arm as she burst into tears.

“Oppa, don’t do this. Stop it. Okay? Oppa, don’t be like this too.”

Oppa, don’t be like this too? Was someone else acting like this?

The man called ‘Father’ suddenly burst out of his seat.

“You should have called me, your father, when your older brother arrived! Huh? How dare you leave your sick mother behind and go off on your own to eat! You’re just like your mother. Absolutely shameless!”

“Because if I told you Oppa was here, I knew you’d act like this!”

As Jiwoo screamed back, a thunderous sound rang in the air. It was the sound of the father slapping his daughter on the cheek. Jiwoo didn’t even flinch as if this was something she was used to. I grabbed Jiwoo’s wrist and left the hospital.

I put Jiwoo on the KTX bound for Seoul.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Since I was young.”

Corporal punishment turned into violence, and Jiwoo endured it because she could not escape.

“What about Mom?”

Jiwoo merely frowned and looked out the window without answering. I went back home with Jiwoo, who didn’t know what else to do. My youngest aunt treated Jiwoo differently than Heesu and me. Even though she was still her blood-related niece, she was still a little stingy with Jiwoo.

“Just let her stay here for a while. I’ll take her with me to Germany.”

I wasn’t in a position to take responsibility for others yet. However, my youngest aunt also helped my grandmother raise me from a young age. My youngest aunt didn’t say anything more, perhaps because she thought it wasn’t her business. I gave my half-sister Jiwoo the room I have used since being abandoned by my parents.

Now, even in this house, I had no place to lie down.

The day before I left for Germany, I met Milhee. As I looked down at her face, it became clear where my heart was. The only place I could lay my body and heart was next to her. Maybe that’s why I suddenly grew curious. What did her room look like?

The small room was cute. The bed was covered in light yellow sheets. I was filled with the desire to take her on that bed. Whenever I buried my flesh inside her soft body, everything became okay.

I also wanted all the photos that were stuck on her vanity mirror. When I asked for a photo of her in her school uniform, she pouted and gave me her ID photo. She was overflowing with affection, a result of all the love that was poured upon her while growing up. Something I never received.

How nice would it be if Jiwoo had such a loving older sister? I looked at her and thought about the younger sister I had to protect, even though I wasn’t very close with her.

I wanted to tell her everything, but I didn’t know how she’d react once she knew the truth. I guess it would be accurate to say that I was scared.

I kissed her soft lips and slid my tongue inside her warm mouth. Just as I was about to reach out and caress her chest, the door suddenly opened.

Her brother glared at me as if he could hardly believe what was happening. I lowered my head. I understood his desire to protect his younger sister.

I became Oh Hyunho’s school hoobae, not Oh Milhee’s boyfriend, and I had dinner at their house. It was a harmonious and normal family. I felt awkward, like a drop of oil floating on the surface of the water. Her father was happy when I told him I was a road cyclist, and he even asked for my autograph.

My parents didn’t care what I did. And the better I did, the more displeased they were.

I was grateful for the warm attention they gave to me. Her bright personality was probably created in this loving family environment.

On the other hand, I foolishly ended up getting my pride bruised. I had the foolish thought that I envied her for having something I didn’t. Everyone wants and envies something they do not have.

Is that why I love this woman?

As I was leaving her house, Oh Hyunho followed me out, offering to see me off. He acted like an adult and handed me a business card.

“If anything happens, call me. Treat Oh Milhee well.”

I wonder if I can be this kind of older brother to Jiwoo.

I felt bad for no particular reason because it seemed like such an impossible task.

My mother died. I returned home without telling anyone. Of course, I didn’t tell her either. After my mother’s funeral, the precarious family unit that had been maintained until now fell apart. Jiwoo had finished preparing to move her studies abroad and follow me to Germany.

When I stopped by the house, Heesu cautiously watched me.

“You aren’t going to see Milhee this time?”

Every time I came to Korea, I didn’t meet my family and instead met her before heading back. No, it would be more accurate to say that my purpose for returning to Korea was Oh Milhee.

“Yeah, I’m going out for a bit. Please keep an eye on Jiwoo.”

While she had been adjusting to a new environment, our mother died. Jiwoo began to suffer from mild depression. She told me she was having a difficult time enduring her father’s threats to sue me for assault and that I was a bastard who stole his daughter.

Now all I had to do was take her to Germany. My heart ached whenever I imagined how my mother and Jiwoo survived in the midst of those two cruel men. And I thought about how unfortunate my mother’s life had been. Even though she was the one who abandoned me, I couldn’t help but pity her. Now, in my head, the word “mother” was replaced with “mom”.

After leaving the house, I headed to Junggye-dong where her house was. I wanted to see her, but I didn’t want to show myself. I was too pathetic. I felt like the anger I had been suppressing would explode if I saw her.

I wanted to lean on her. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hug and kiss her.

I quietly watched her walk through her apartment entrance and disappear into the corridors. She was doing well without me. While I was glad to see it, I also felt sad because my presence seemed insignificant in her life.

I found a house to live in with my sister, participated in training sessions, and went to competitions. Even though I won the winning jersey, my heart felt a little empty. Sponsors started coming in, and my income gradually increased.

— I think we have something we need to discuss… Do you have anything you’d like to explain to me?

I was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say to the sudden question.

“I don’t.”

— If you don’t, then that’s fine.

Her voice was no different from usual. I also spoke about my daily schedule in my usual voice. I told her I wouldn’t be able to go to Korea for the time being because I had to participate in competitions, training sessions, and various tour programs.

Jiwoo met a Korean psychiatrist here and began receiving counseling while struggling to adjust to school. It was natural for me to be more concerned about my younger sister who had lost the world she had lived in until now than about her, who had a warm family at home.

After the Vuelta a España, my sister’s doctor insisted on family counseling, so I signed up. I also had to go to her school as her guardian, and my team manager kept me busy with a packed schedule.

I hadn’t been able to contact her for a long time. We exchanged messages a few times, but she seemed busy preparing for graduation and job hunting. I thought she was doing well and keeping busy.

But when I received an automated message saying her cell phone number did not exist, I thought I dialed the wrong number. So I tried calling again, but I got the same result.

I felt anxious. I logged into my email on a hunch.

「I will continue to support you.」

The subject of the email was kind, but it incited violent emotions within my heart. I hesitated to open it. After spending a long time at my desk, I cowardly logged into her email account. The emails she had exchanged over the past few days were still there.

There was still an email from a broadcasting station notifying her that she had failed the document screening, emails exchanged with professors, and an email sent to me in the outbox.

「Oppa. We’ve been dating for a long time. Right? It’s already been two years. I’m sorry for being selfish. I don’t think I can do this kind of relationship anymore. It’s a bit difficult…From now on, I’ll be watching you from afar and cheering you on. Even though we’ve always been far apart… Thank you for teaching me how to ride a bike and giving me so many good memories.」

I read and reread the email she wrote dozens of times. I tried calling her again, but all I got was the disgusting message saying the number didn’t exist. It wouldn’t be enough to say that I was upset. Even the word ‘hopeless’ didn’t encapsulate what I felt.

I thought about it for a few days. I checked the email again and wondered if I should reply… And if I did reply, how should I reply?

She said that our relationship was getting difficult. I was at a loss as to how to make it less difficult. Then I tried to log into her email account again. I wanted to read the email again and think about it. But a pop-up window appeared saying the account had been deleted.

I interpreted it as her withdrawing from our relationship. Even in the hopeless moment of having lost everything, I had to live. I couldn’t just throw away my training and everything and head back to Korea. I now had a family I was responsible for.

I clung onto exercise. I hoped Jiwoo would find her own path. I quietly supported my sister and became a family with Jiwoo. Because we were lonely, our sibling relationship was very good. As an older brother, my role model was Oh Hyunho. I hoped Jiwoo would grow up to be a bright and smart woman like Milhee.

I won several Grand Tours and gained many fans. In Korea, the tour was even broadcast live on a public broadcasting channel.

When I was around twenty-nine, I randomly went to her house. I loitered around the apartment from early morning to night, but she never showed up.

Did she move? It had been almost three years since we broke up, so it wouldn’t be surprising if she had moved.

“Gong Mujin?”

I was startled by the voice that called me from behind. Thinking it might be a fan, I turned around with an indifferent expression. Oh Hyunho was standing there.

“How have you been, sir?”

“What are you doing here?”

He was asking why a person who had no business here was standing here.

I followed him to a local bar. Meat sizzled over the charcoal grill.

“I often come here with Milhee. She really likes it here. Eat a lot. An athlete should eat well.”

He smiled as he placed the well-cooked ribs on a plate of pickled onions. He still seemed to be a nice person.

“How have you been?”

“Who? Me?”

Oh Hyunho asked back as if the question was absurd. I laughed awkwardly.

“Our Milhee got into EBC. She’s an assistant director now. You know, an AD? She rolls around all the time. she’s rolling around so much that she’s losing her mind. She whines and whines all the time, and she’s so annoying.”

I let out a sigh of relief when I heard that she had gotten into a broadcasting station. I smiled faintly now that I knew she was doing well.

“How are you doing? Whenever you come on TV, Milhee gets so…”

“Would you like to add anything to your meal?”

Oh Hyunho’s words were cut off by the passing restaurant owner.

“We’ll eat a little later. Can we have a bottle of soju please?”

The lady wrote it down on the bill and disappeared. I was curious about what he was talking about earlier. How did she behave when I appeared on TV?

“Hurry up and eat.”

Oh Hyunho seemed to have forgotten what he was saying and began to talk about something else.

“I heard that bicycle sales have skyrocketed in our country because of you. They say that our country’s bicycle companies have grown a lot due to your sponsorship. You really do a good job promoting our national prestige, you know? I was surprised when I went to Gangnam a while ago. Your pictures were plastered all over the Nike store in Gangnam Station. I’m really curious. What do you think when you see a picture like that outside?”

“It’s just embarrassing.”

I gulped the soju he poured for me.

“I think our Milhee is glad to see it. When you appear on TV, she couldn’t be happier.”

“What did you say?”

“Wow! He became super famous.”

He imitated his sister’s voice and blank expression. Then he laughed.

“She’s doing well, right?”

“She’s… well, you know how she is. She works really hard. When she was dating you, she was running around like she had a screw loose, so it seemed like she was having a hard time with her grades.”

I didn’t even know she was struggling with her grades.

“Then she studied like crazy. In the end, she ended up going to that broadcasting station.”

His affectionate voice sounded proud of his little sister.

“I’m glad.”

“What about you? Are you doing well? Why did you come here?”

I had difficulty saying I came here because I missed her. My younger sister Jiwoo was now twenty years old. When I thought of Jiwoo becoming an adult, I was overcome with an indescribable yearning. I gulped down another glass of soju.

“Live well. You’ve succeeded. My little sister is doing well too, so… Don’t make her heart waver for no reason.”

I quietly nodded at his request.

I lied when I told him I was doing well. I wasn’t doing well. In my wallet, I still carried her high school photo as well as the photo we took together at Daehak-ro. Her ID photo, which I teased her about because it was awkward and made her look like a different person, was in a small frame next to my bed in my house in Germany.

And I still hadn’t opened the last email she sent me. I probably won’t open that email for the rest of my life.

A few more years passed, and my sister started living with a boyfriend she met while attending college. As I watched my sister leave home to live with her boyfriend, I jokingly blurted out that there was no point in raising a beast when i’s just going to abandon its family in the end. But I also felt a little relieved. I felt like I had fulfilled my duty.

After putting the house in Germany up for sale, I bought a house in Seorae Village. I kept the frame of the house but renovated the rest over a long period of time. I planted round juniper trees in the yard. The landscaper said that my taste was ‘middle-aged’ because I insisted on only having juniper trees.

It was a misunderstanding. My taste was not ‘middle-aged’ or mature. My taste was just… Oh Milhee.

I really enjoyed watching the first program she ever directed. I even sent her a fan message of support with my aunt’s friend who helped with the housework. When an article criticizing the program was published, I also posted a comment defending it.

I thought we had to support each other from afar. Suddenly, I received an unexpected offer from my aunt’s company.

“Let’s just do one program. An educational variety show. You know the streaming service that a lot of people are using these days? We’re going to produce original content there. Our company is going to fund it.”

My youngest aunt was a designer who specialized in industrial design. When I first participated in the Tour de France, she designed the frame wrap for my road bike. After winning the Maillot a Pois Rouge (red polka-dot jersey) and then doing well in the Vuelta a España, attention was drawn to the road bike frame designed by my aunt.

As a result, my aunt went on to design official tour jerseys and other items. And now, she runs a bicycle company in Korea and acts as my agent.

“I absolutely hate it.”

I refused outright, but my aunt was persistent. It was hard to argue with her when she said that I should help her out as thanks for raising me. I rejected, rejected, and rejected the plans that the PD brought me over and over again until…

I froze when I saw the new PD. I never dreamed that Oh Milhee would show up.

I thought that if I ever happened to run into her at the broadcasting station, I would be able to act like a cool adult.

But it was difficult. I heard them making a ruckus about rumors that she slept with PD Han. I watched them grab each other’s hands, watched them leave the table together after having drinks as a group. Listened as that bastard PD Han spewed some bullshit about how PD Oh liked him.

My insides turned upside-down.

“Sunbae! Ah, Sunbae-nim! Sunbae-niiiiim!”

And the way she called PD Han really bothered me. There was a time when I was her sunbae too.

It still bothered me. Even after spending such a night like last night together, she continued to act like she didn’t know me.

“Sunbae-niiiim! Just this once, please?”

She continued to act cute towards the bastard PD Han. She was completely unaware that her actions were dyed with the characteristic aegyo of a youngest child who received a lot of love and affection. It was obvious that she was completely unaware of how much it tempted the men who watched her.

My clenched fists began to tremble.

“What’s going on here?”

I approached the two of them as they continued their lovey-dovey tussle.

We met again after cheering each other on from afar. Now that it’s come to this, I can’t help but think you and I are destined for each other.

Now that fate had come to me like this, I had no intention of cheering you on from afar. It may be selfish of me, but I will have your heart, even as it pretends to be completely indifferent to me.

I wish the wet wind would blow. And I hope it will bring rain.

Just like when I wished I could go see you when training was canceled, I wish filming will be canceled and I can hold you in my arms.