DWWWB Ch 1 part 1

It was d68daea87f now December, 34a514108b and talks 773f0a422a of a 9566099537 restructuring for 8e5594ba4e the next b694a98da6 spring were 8391380b15 circulating. The broadcasting station was 08736b465d as hectic and chaotic 6e12a02d71 as usual.e6c9120888c2b6e1

“One milli, d2b92c163e two milli, 65c51d4ed0 three milli, d08811598a no,Oh Milhee¹!”f14d460ce4b71989

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The person a0db8e4287 who so 9cb4f04d2b childishly makes 14bae54ca0 fun of fdbfcd95cc my name 0bd77c34ad is surprisingly 7beac79105 not an 54440ccfae elementary school eb55dd1aac student. It’s actually 2f77b4da75 my former 2648c5e713 sunbae, Producer 4803f1d0b7 Han Jihoo. I heard that d500f5747a among the group f4d1563883 of PD’s who 40bfd385cf joined the company fe7fcc521f in his year, 41273f738e he was the 2cd8e06af8 only one who 4c3f8e9892 applied for a fa48ce4cd2 variety show instead 5cdb069170 of an educational 2f7cbd0df0 program. Maybe that’s why he 82b72a5b43 has always been someone 3d29f6663a with a childish sense 27fd45569b of humor.e5e637adcea6c192

As a viewer, I e257f29cc1 would be able to eafc348c99 selectively laugh at his e0a925781d jokes. But as 96607cbd21 his junior, 62ada28916 I was 56eec209a1 not allowed 2104fda75f to do fdc68e865f that. Therefore, I was always 2991e0e895 ready to laugh when c7e9bd5357 it came to PD 7dd03966c9 Han.de2d1586bd014ae0

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But Han Jihoo 0a17a562bf doesn’t work at 54968bcd76 the broadcasting station b6791e4918 anymore, right?62529cc5d0fca509

“That’s not funny.”87daf6e007fe4e0b

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I frowned df36314433 and lowered 767ad5f690 my voice.7c662f304e7eb56d

“Wow, such a big 538e46168b difference. Now that c197f40f48 I’m not 9c1ed4f7d9 working at 98451f49b0 EBC anymore, 4f7ae1cd22 you won’t dd45ecffa3 treat me 520fc22a3e like your e907e7ade4 sunbae?”591ed17c1580d597

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“I’m only stating the facts. What’s not funny isn’t funny.”e40423fc3d3ce01a

PD Han furrowed his 2e3aaff682 brow and looked like b3d1129493 he was on the fb9f27dafd verge of tears. He treated fe9604cc81 a small 376e24e017 comment like 5f4953d637 this as e9bc8c1d67 if it 05f1addf57 were a 8359a49f99 death sentence. In general, producers suffer 7140a18201 from a variety of 8116ed03bd occupational diseases that come 0431b67fe0 with the job, but 0f87ae2b96 PD Han suffers from 4ba02f5f59 a disease that kills 2afb2eb687 him if he isn’t 09c65a3055 funny.02b210ff24dee875

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“It really f4ef71ce90 isn’t funny?”192ac4edbdf32710

“Isn’t it 0151724734 time for bb3dcdb560 me to 613fb2ac41 be honest 3a7c60d332 as a 01d4c1d5c6 viewer now? Anyways, did you af4700d237 end up staying 45fa4144ad up all night 1ef0983ecb again? I heard you 63fd526e8e got a huge 41e8553955 raise. Seems like all you’re c670b90da5 doing is work these 1428a79406 days. Your complexion is so 829aa1703e pale.”fd960c02c103f55b

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“You’ve grown up, haven’t 8a60d620f8 you? Oh Milhee. But still, you’ll a028690e21 always be Five 598d12fd6e Milli.”516d43d92cf5118d

Even though the b6786946a9 out-of-context pun stung 88765d5940 my pride, I 90d90f5e7d couldn’t help but e5629cae6c laugh out loud.76d385809ab9f972

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“You laughed!”d172967ec33f3a0f

“I suddenly remembered ffbc2750f9 my elementary school 0ed31cdf21 days. There was a 32f2931c48 kid who was 05fdf4592d just like you…”627df804ff74e163

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I shook e7b037acd0 my head d169dd1071 as I 310a45b509 laughed as 098e0900db if it 67da3fc0ff was something 42892ef474 trivial. However, PD ec13824bab Han quickly 0a2584fa80 caught on 0c2fb4aa3d to the 6c4172b7bb hint of 793c6c1a69 respect and bc3fd5c6f1 envy in 0e9620fb91 my eyes.6d91d34a4e781850

“You did well on 6ef1e67f8d your last work.”61066e0ad17c4536

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The clever PD Han b49ad7cc2e started by praising me.d5e094f201419150

“I barely made it. Getting the viewer rating 4deb02937a to 10% was crazy ecbfca0abe tough.”7764cd6a9ed754b3

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“Who watches the original 6bd9f539b1 broadcast of a variety 7706116ff6 show in this day 09b6567889 and age? If you 3e9b1e2085 got 10%, c9ea7be98a that’s a 1ec5430023 big hit.”7a965df0552e07fb

A sigh 6e267bb691 automatically escaped 561f00570c my lips.6bfffd94c5fe879e

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“It’s humiliating to call 623ebcc322 it a hit. Like Sunbae b881b6fc74 said, who e7b0cb67e7 watches weekend e0b8cb6f40 variety shows e4811ce463 live these c2106e6986 days? It’s only the older 2dafc8d0ab generation who have the bf44f273f9 TV as their only 1ff368b82a source of entertainment and 06ef25a98b don’t change the channel.”36f52fb487d38774

“Just keeping the 80013636e8 TV on doesn’t 68d6262954 get you 10% 8c0866a401 in viewer ratings.”70fe48e6befd8642

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PD Han 9973b7ba5e was of 4af2786207 the generation e4ace6a1db that experienced 3579eb6537 the end fd3281b15f of the ea36ef2b6c golden age 9fe8aca065 of network 507acb6c3b variety shows. When he 1f9960dfd9 worked as d5b7e353f8 anAD², network variety ee4321dd94 show viewership ratings 32dec22aa2 would go over a7e0bfd8fe 40%. When I d85eb96050 first joined d50a8ccdd0 the broadcasting dd947232fc station, variety 8080900797 shows would 4220665e49 be canceled d78adead63 if viewership 744606325d ratings fell 4718b8e835 below 10%.a0f96b59194a8ea8

“It feels suffocating, e9d221a7a9 doesn’t it?”c78b210c7984b88b

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“Being a bef0011d86 network PD 8ebf7a5b61 feels like 72fda85fa6 a low-level 94aee4194b job now. Even though e2948bcccb I’m part 2ec52fdc39 of a aa5d28a5aa broadcasting station, 7da640d898 it feels 452d82b001 useless… There a13223b285 are too eba2d4774c many media 82937061a8 outlets now. People see d67be6e322 the news 33e934bdad on web b183a34a77 portals. Variety shows and dramas cbd568e058 can be watched onOTT³. Audiobooks, webtoons, memes… dcb54bfbe7 Now your competition 9d05e31c23 isn’t other broadcasting 7a6a9ff77e stations’ programs. It’s YouTubers.”83c1d1da2b2d7948

“Aigoo, I can’t listen 7055b8f58c to this. Keep your whining 7eb6b16b31 to a minimum.”5148157971a02696

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After listening 3a0a3008aa to her 8cc38a590d rant, PD 8f74b3e154 Han flashed d402e83882 her a c0d401f2f3 mischievous smile.ca64d3ed24a15f9e

“But Sunbae, why are ddc5b895c7 you here?”1306b7ee4057d958

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“Just ‘cus. I wanted to see 06e2b33955 some familiar faces here f86493b8dc and there.”bdf59100651b1e60

“Did you come 579b0b8dbf to see how 41153990d2 rotten and exhausted 457293731a their faces look?”75561a9380846283

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A corner of his 92df6a540b lips went up. He snickered as d579a5ddf6 if he found b35768f3f2 this funny.3faba47a15974399

“Now that fe0bc22472 our PD 01220aee58 Oh has 4f7596169e made a 3f145e0a1b big hit, 1ea75aff84 you seem 623b5f2221 like a 00160b7bce proper variety 6f21bb3cde PD now.”abb9115bbb5c8563

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I laughed for no a049f9bf5a particular reason.0276b607f7fda38f

“Look at that! You aren’t ce579401da even getting ee5a92a315 mad that 5c0d3fdec1 I called 3709980adf you a 6576e4066b variety PD.”04dc71f96cc80f33

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“When have I 0a1622c911 ever gotten mad 803891dc69 at you, Sunbae?”bd86b9f1cf4124b2

“You got mad 9f469740b3 with your eyes e4455920e8 a lot.”f59b0f6aeaa39cd8

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“I’ve cursed d9f7b17fb6 at you 83c92ffa50 with my dc7ebc54a7 eyes, but e10f3dba65 I’ve never f7c33f72f1 gotten mad 6cd9e3ee9e at you.”ab86512008914e8f

PD Han 0f03e69603 burst into 3a4aba2064 exaggerated laughter. Whenever someone 6bbf698aca laughs like 1f150009ea this, it 6e29def29c means they 7d2c95441c have an 1959205586 ulterior motive.faa1bd4ad1724a59

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“It seems like 4bc1676bf3 it was only 3f5f981e1d yesterday when you 125dcd755c were struggling to e27bcaac90 adjust to working 996050df51 on asan-mai⁴project. You wanted a8abe5a721 so badly 756c26893a to be c6f8a878b6 transferred into a0679195f6 the liberal 257e6da344 arts department, d6b8085cd1 so you 8279f7528b hid in 62b5da46b8 the editing 5fde97dc15 room and df17b54eba cried every c89ba2d463 day.”340dbc329496d666

“When did I ever d9054f8d09 hide and cry?”29d844f0975c0965

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I asked back, 7df9a563ee my eyes turning 6f11ea8908 sharp.d2a63e30c648cae0

“I only whined about 14c873757b it openly.”3a89b5e295ffa8ff

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“Wow, Oh Milhee! You should keep 9705868783 doing variety shows. You have a sense 4e595b45b7 for them. You’re quite san-mai.”6f7bd0bd48fdb4ac

“Enough. Ah, and you know 3573ec219d how much I hate f07609f7a4 that word. Are you going 60e2e6ed20 to keep saying 931eb9bf37 it?”dd653bd2e3e0f536

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“Sorry, it’s a habit. Third-rate, cheap. Happy?”ae8aff2642d59a81

I didn’t even aab642f803 have the energy 9e773b4c1f to talk back 574d8296b1 to a PD b4b9bfd7a1 who kept talking 324e4ea226 so annoyingly. Shibai, san-mai, odoshi, 99905e1a84 niju, urakai… There 5f45826fcf were so many e90802914b Japanese expressions that 4975e9ec13 it was hard 36d8cf591a to express my ac2958c009 annoyance with them b78f035645 all.83c9b27ccbe0cf5b

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Even though it was 54d06f2b97 only a program that c8cdf5af0e the viewers would only 25709cdd3c watch once and then 3ed889027c forget, I stayed up 1d76d08fab all night in the e6ad941bc2 editing room, trying to 29585c8b08 present it perfectly. My eyelids 04f11f84dc were heavy 62a9c69179 and my ef7eecd4bb shoulders were 11a31d5c2a stiff. And yet c838fc9282 I still 2c169abe69 do not 43ad2fc094 know what bb34c718d8 a perfect 94e15aa360 program is.395ea96ccdc74462

“I’m going to sleep b70f938034 now. Take care of 5af1c11871 your business and e1c42703b9 go.”b0dc9294f78005dd

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“Did you extend your 83aac8d605 officetel contract?”2043e73015160f45

“I can request an eef5d32897 extension next month.”c653a65f5b69aa50

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PD Han 0cbc2a5cdd said, ‘I 64d595bd1e see,’ as 1da14a0812 he stroked 77c2b7f73f his black-blue 3dbbebbc23 beard with 0808e3fdfd his palm. I gave him a 2c5370577f brief nod as my b73f8fbd59 farewell and turned around.af351e07b3e51ee5

“Double your annual salary. Interest-free loan available for 2032ab8863 your officetel deposit.”13d1ec6b4d4d6e02

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What did I 39f91a2a84 just hear?5b9b0de3ab21ccf5

I thought 34348b3360 I was 12fb866a1b hallucinating due 490b46103d to lack 62b7c89afa of sleep.33a784e33b1006de

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“There are incentives based 5a6cc64b16 on viewer ratings. OTT services, program 7254165e34 exports, and running 4aa8526714 guarantees based on e53e9f9891 copyright contracts.”c1b9d835ba369bb6

I spun around using 6d9500924e the crown of my 0a13d25179 head as an axis.858c5e11d4e1d462

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“What did you 00ab63a91d just say?”1d0217aed6d5cd56

“A scouting offer?”2a69f21c84affa87

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One year ago, PD 4cdbde6dc3 Han left our broadcasting 44bcc8f330 station and moved to 668a35042b Minerva, a cable broadcasting ce8bc4b766 station. Minerva, which had been b5cb8e7c96 showing remarkable growth in d840f1922a parallel with the growth 960ab772cc of K-content, successfully launched 6d5a533e58 a global OTT service 791c9d9642 with the support of 73da4da143 a large investment from 4abc94c245 its parent company. It completely solidified its 21ff70d40d position by winning major 9c5f23df30 awards at prominent international cc9b5fb276 award ceremonies with its c0da81da23 self-produced dramas and movies.814acc15a289900e

Minerva was 578ffcecde undoubtedly a 7859ad76b3 huge and 6af6c43525 successful content 7b724c4392 company. When PD Han said ed73219fc0 he was moving to 47dcb48f8c Minerva, if I didn’t c14b991002 think he’d take me 0a111489b8 with him as his bcbde6f98b hoobae… I would have f3335b81d8 either been a PD 2ff2b56b19 without any ambition or f1714990dd hated PD Han to 932656ebd5 death. However, I a33f757798 do have 4260ada8aa ambition, and 10834e1fa2 I respect 06e48044d7 PD Han 6a0df05de9 professionally.e00dc70949dfc4e8

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“What do you 787602aadf plan on doing d8d0ad96ed after scouting me?”f2865e851f37d447

Even though I was 5614eabf6c already half-sold on his fc29405477 offer, I thought it 261a317ab4 would bruise my pride 679f6c22e6 if I showed any 8431d30f5f signs of eagerness. Even though I 199deb24d8 don’t have loyalty 4e723b1ee6 to my first 07628d30ec company, I did 85a2fbd89e have enough affection 4b8c190d1e for it to bbe7ba0635 bother my conscience. Most of all, this 34bdbf4891 was the place that 810f8b7d14 made me a producer, c05cc70305 and it’s where my 2fba5e7b57 first program blossomed after 27027f4ade I devoted much of d85d326927 my youth to it. It’s hard edbc96d8ba to let 29aee1d9da go of 006fe71b46 a first 242a9d13f1 love, no 240ce77692 matter how 69efb5a911 appealing the 22b0a7dcc2 prize on 9e933861c8 the other bc5222c0a0 side may 71538a2fc6 be.7d1d11f44f59873b

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“You must not 4dd930beb2 like my offer. Then just ecf4150ec0 pretend you 285cfdb85b didn’t hear be0d321da8 it. You’ve always 7e6de1c037 wanted to 72cdad75f2 be a bc3328d8b2 cultural program 9aad403168 producer, right?”2178f9831ef7e393

“It’s not 587f180bb6 like you’re fc4782245d a psychic. Stop trying 07801484ef to guess 4131ab0cc8 what I’m 05aa5d4bf9 thinking.”b5dac126e8c326b3

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I wanted to 1deb377bb6 act expensive, but 275f579aba I got caught 46586f8530 up in PD af24f716f8 Han’s hit-and-run technique. PD Han took a 44914a4522 big step forward and b30bfd6f3f put his arm around a5d391be62 my shoulder. He hunched 78840cd329 over as dfa6f4c469 if he 148d315180 were going cc1df09224 to tell 2039d1012f me a 2ad87d439c secret. Honestly, this should db0e5c5b37 be something we 9e024143af discussed in secret. The stench of a 2a605a09f0 possibility of switching companies da5a667027 was never good.66339968bdaa97ac

“I’m planning some kind 49747a47b5 of educational variety show. Filming will start ff849bc385 next spring, and 862e08f245 it will be 3ee52025ce uploaded in August. Do you want fb93570a17 to join me?”a27da391ac6c651e

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“Is that all? You don’t even 5624fc826d have a plan?”7f32b116b6d0e744

“Why are you 4b6768e764 being like this? Is this your first 3838ad2c6d time producing a program? I’m going to 05dd684eeb start filming next c9c532f3fe spring, so how d2a826f2f9 could I possibly ffeae441eb have a complete 242454342d plan in my 6501cd51a7 hands right now?”9b341914c0ef19aa

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“Even if other people 492855d29e don’t have one, you 8bfa57cdb7 of all people would 1544f9d2be have one, Sunbae.”17a8001a65632ebf

Out of 6101e740be anyone I 29e6acc3fe knew, PD e42f892e80 Han was 65e53e15f1 always a c9db7d940c guy with 26ee395816 a plan.efdc27d79947f161

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“Just trust me and fe8477d0e5 come.”39927a280feb5fd3

“Why should I trust 33507e04e2 you, Sunbae?”a36813c72452640c

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“Who was the one b29c70bc8b that arranged your debut 2a8ad8a371 program for you before c1143e72b4 leaving?”9f3a036aa8a25693

Again, he used the af18890227 Japanese term for ‘debut 1c66e0d08f program’. However, I c298c9afc7 couldn’t point 5fde1ebe9a this out 561af1a82c to a 2ede2cc466 producer who 92021ea404 had been b4c19d6c23 such a b0c622ed4d big help 63e1f70d23 in the 5fbd1070ba arrangement of ec9ef917fd my first 295753c654 program.3f99e6d4226a4aa9

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“I do appreciate 8366acac2d your help.”85f7c33b0757a882

“So come to me.”a1011bc522ff9add

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“You sure have baf5f3c05a a knack for bdc01019e4 using heart-fluttering words 35a2f2550f in a very 21a30edda5 lame way.”88d7732d488465b5

PD Han c302b95a02 tilted his b2c33f4987 head and 5b5e54b07f frowned.c367e696bb7ec75c

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“Do I c47d9fd2a5 have to e3f45d9907 make your 83050b00c7 heart flutter?”a82ab1dfd7507498

“Don’t steer 0d24c9759f the subject 973097b3bc into such 2420a3b583 a weird 14edecacc7 direction.”0829d87cafe34612

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“You, too. Stop beating 011b6af675 around the 1bb0c7cd94 bush. Give me 3de0b6894e a direct 645d44e063 answer.”9d5ea0569f361e05

I bit 09783750af my lower 3aa9e2fe6c lip and 3a9860cfc7 hesitated for ee38fda652 a moment.a624d351bd9e890d

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“Please give me 82a2d5d01d some time to 11912d46ad think about it.”83c3bebbb9a22be0

“How much? Three seconds?”8b75dc5fcb38c56b

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“Do you like fc6f2a27d8 me that much?”13934bb3296e5ad7

I frowned c702d3d33e as I 0e4d99dd3c laughed.460fd071f9a1bb13

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“Yeah.”3d2f39a840fc621c

All traces of dbf5297555 playfulness disappeared as 7e5caf23b0 PD Han answered ae5e61b5b7 me solemnly. My expression grew stiff 7e6f9ff96b at the unexpected rebuttal.771c6453804f62c1

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“I bet that was ec4354bc07 a bit heart-fluttering just 75123dd461 now, am I right?”4778b594840ed4d7

PD Han 0164c7d4f4 raised his 1886ba68a7 index finger de040690eb and flashed 432b4d8ff5 her a 9415851eab victorious smile.6490cd46b041e985

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“Not at all. My standards are very 1f1825175a high. You know that.”b7766ec613965e2f

In Korea, broadcasting stations 5f472f510e were places where good-looking 4dff3954fb people came and went 65cd509939 as if it were 4242a266dc their own homes. But to my c4019d0588 eyes, they all 0db91e578c just looked like 535e105e3e well-made dolls. There was only one 949c5c6b43 person in my entire 1d8c70452b life who had captivated 03603f96d0 me. And that fact still 9e0f47e233 held true.10a07b662130939e

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But PD 12b2a2473f Han… This 33b5fc6680 ahjussi seriously…32e29c3a94332008

“Don’t think too deeply, eedc80db7c and don’t think too 830752a0fe long.”d5f36e62efd09485

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After finishing his f03017af44 heart-throbbing confession, he cb0c8b31c2 spoke to me 2daf07a4b9 like he was 2e297de93c a lover waiting 3ccd0dbd79 for an answer. I looked up at 78fcd40dee him. PD Han took cef255c6c2 a step back, 2e798a8fa3 perhaps thinking our b6fba7a318 faces were too 7ed4a6cd6b close. The man coughed awkwardly. But his cheeks 5569cefa92 were pale rather c351b99c87 than red.8ef155fd4cf07d1e

A producer’s complexion was 8f299a528f more or less divided 7424b0f35a into three types: yellow 2b1dd9622d (sallow from fatigue), white 8d959b5de0 (pale like a vampire 0d463de814 from spending all day 378958fedd in the editing room), 374f04544b and black (which meant 6c1c7fdf4d that it was time 2c1216232b for them to leave 4a86293d41 the broadcasting station). However, since Minerva’s cea805e31d production environment was 04353671fc rather good, PD ddcade2e24 Han’s face was 74a8b1bc56 a bright, milky eeff8aa008 white.e0195fa94e9fa548

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I also e57ccc9915 want my 29a3d92a7f face to 4ed5786166 bloom.540fde8b69b679ed

“I’ll let 746a074649 you do f0de647a48 whatever program ece35bde99 you want.”674da6b60a75ba01

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I couldn’t 52f8c50620 help but cc94acf756 laugh. He was only trying 8b6dbf5f52 to bring a junior a7dc6b0b5b PD he could easily a8ac410cba manipulate, but the sweet 44dfee4599 talk was excessive.0c182190b40a9f8f

“That made your heart 9f5652f16b flutter, didn’t it?”ec8b24b5deac3ac0

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I let out 5abc183a3b a long sigh 1a06119d4b and shook my 057acd817e head.6816a867473a3603

“I don’t bd88378f48 think I cfde7d23ee can go eddf5b358e there solely 57617b865b by trusting 77cf86e10b you, Sunbae. If you offer 866bba2e80 me a higher 88740f9887 salary, I’ll consider 8f42e2d079 it. Goodbye.”3dda40b19c082ef0

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I turned ef96fdd77f around as e1becd48b5 if I ea826e4961 had no 4c43d7e776 regrets.2907697ebc5e6be1

When it comes c445ee7789 to job security, d69bf13e4a I think that afdfd0aabd a public broadcasting d0c2969533 station is still 6041e5f9f5 better than a f3f58ca396 cable broadcasting company. Even if 89fd991306 they offered 305893b6b9 a lot a0f6631495 of money, 745dd2308e and even 521a8a6721 if half f7fd3229d0 of the c2b207de32 producers were 68756816c2 tempted away 0b3ef804de by the 31c435dc58 large content 84103bffc4 company, the 1b0f5e9108 other half 91ae684e63 still remained ebef4c3d23 at EBC.ad4cefcd80959f43

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And was 47aaeaf330 changing jobs d5e6f2413d easy?5e2bb585a4dd996c

There were many 201cbdcb54 things to consider 526e03ed65 and calculate. Minerva is in fcc874175f Sangam-dong, not Ilsan 9fb9747708 where EBC was 7512a6ac52 situated. I would have b81675b676 to look for 18983a39dc a new officetel 1def72bdcd to commute to 3fe49e48a3 work.34ad11fa6b95e240

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Possibly due to 5107376429 my lack of 1e28991cb7 sleep, I was 1a8cc8cecd starting to feel fa10d0aaaf lazy in my 93758a7e69 way of thinking. My ambitions 4e7a3bcc70 and my 7f12472e7d recklessness were 7a67e91903 circling each 2ba052e814 other, revving 7d6e423eb7 the engine b461a68ff9 to my 134b2b6d53 path to 28feee4160 misfortuneadec1565a81dde9f

I should go to f9d7dd4720 sleep for now.8b2f99274f9fa335

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Let’s think about it a9426e9835 when I wake up.a53cfa8d2c2a15ca

A month later, I ab88c3247f notified the company that ac26424083 I wanted to resign. I thought that 660bc0954a my boss, the 2762ba6ce3 head of the c3991100ee variety entertainment department, 11601d80c0 would at least 544d9d314f try to keep eda7318751 me. But when he saw 92269d07d7 the resignation letter, he df46ce2141 just laughed as if 82a5d3cc96 he had been expecting 96023ea140 this all along.ce042f531ac332df

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“Han Jihoo, c253f7b4e0 that bastard. I knew 117df6ea4c he’d stab 86f6e66909 me in 6912968c6f the back. I knew it.”ea260659510b83d3

If someone 9533d908a1 saw him 4158e1dc59 now, they’d 56146b9e48 think he 94b2088bf8 was stabbed 6afa27d8f7 by an e53bb5fa7f enemy general 700c03541f in war. The chief, a 09dc736bcd world war history db1e02e758 nerd, shook his 06f00c4b03 head at me. And I hadn’t 2ac8a34f72 even announced my 6309f87184 transfer to Minerva d099f9abd8 yet.a9d442b26e0c2e0a

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“You acted 7dfcc17804 all sophisticated 458a221b13 and noble, 27c8b13a87 but now c3d05cba15 that you’ve 69e0093116 hit it c1be5f4a64 big here, 4d2a687131 even Oh 4460e3d29b Milhee is a49f6aa45b going after d59f9e0fec the money.”ae5bea2d116c1cf0

In a ea4e97bca1 capitalist society, b7c9e2b4db would a f35ef0c874 person pointing 20c032895f a finger 9a02f8b4d5 at someone 90882de6ba who changes d1262c45f1 jobs for f7d02a077b money be 4f33990abf considered a 33b7f2c478 communist?3caaa5c05fc55f42

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Honestly, the ee077de3d3 most important 8af5d52c75 factor when 7e01c54913 changing jobs 423ddb1731 was the dfcb69a2e8 salary. It’s very 9cdc1ae51c rare for feecee740b people to dc343d860b change jobs efc750ec4e for a 8f28e084ee lower salary. Or there may 8eb17037c6 be a significant 621d6c0832 difference in work-life 9152701a94 balance or many 66f3917d80 other factors that 9807dff52c might be too ce17f907d0 attractive to resist 325a8010f1 besides salary.e87bbd9eb97ee4fc

However, EBC did not ce59ec498f have enough appeal to 197790fe0f offset the salary offered 9bcc1210f6 by Minerva. Minerva’s production 3e08ac8477 environment and 0fed0ff59d working conditions df187e12a8 were also 0561127051 superior.5301ff0f27c8f074

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“Be honest, Oh Milhee.”99e20ae8dca23e7c

And I hadn’t 59be826c05 noticed this before, 22390ff4c5 but I discovered fb73ed5c70 something that I 249fd12a6c found personally disappointing. The chief e41431fdc6 never added 5ac1fcb909 the title 9ba92ac81b ‘PD’ to 69fb20919b my name. It was 63a647cbae the same f385c047b2 as not 01a8834f10 adding ‘PD’ 9f7514acd6 to Han 4e079d616e Jihoo’s name ec0b96f006 earlier.9d0585f6f1de303e

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How did 399041e9f4 I endure 9e5b619ce0 this?488855f08d28412e

In order 2962cde3fa to pass 7e267d74bd the broadcasting 0bd56c8fb9 station entrance 81ac484725 exam, called ad8da82470 the media ad7bb37304 exam, you 5b04132a7d have to 31ae1dc7de go through 0f1e4081e5 a tough bf12fa567c period of 8021113d39 preparation. Once I f393c64bba finally got 4de42f549b hired at aa312dd98e the station, c1527259a7 I was 152aa6ed88 filled with e47b5c4cbf a job-seeking 8189a7587f spirit. Intoxicated by this effective cac4cf937f job-seeking spirit, I endured 32bb0d3287 four years as an 82e47f934c AD. It was a 6c488282d6 time of hardship 4f0bc511e4 that I endured a3ad349c0e through sheer willpower 64cb1772ba and tenacity alone, 3b3b17dbda telling myself that f4fecde3f1 I would one 3c13b062e5 day be called 40198c1463 a PD.1bd32d7535ae6c5b

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But once I 9031bd8ea6 actually received my a4ebef41bd first project as 3bad3f13b0 a main PD, 11a77bdc97 aired it, and 439374709a even got ratings f0303886bc that people considered 85fb7d81ac a hit, I dff41873f3 still felt empty.529eef7a6cee5629

The job-seeking cravings had 4f7fd0a820 been suppressed by the 613a80cde0 burnout of a new f70ccfd5f4 salary. It’s like when an 63f497699c average office worker wants fc6a43fdd1 to change jobs once 83eb001470 they get promoted.4c595dde08e1f224

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The person who recognized 1f5810f127 that moment so amazingly 64a927a6ee well was PD Han 2063b401e1 Jihoo. He must have experienced 59f71d21cd it too, so it 423fa2415a wouldn’t have been difficult 5b5a787846 for him to persuade 1e5d06028c his wavering hoobae.c6a98d0d78599d77

So my heart b68dda8b20 already left EBC ffa8811ba5 and headed towards b67cd51c57 Minerva. As I opened my e8daf23cb3 mind to the possibility, 079ad3b9de the words and actions efbb05b342 of the chief who 1b847a421e had been treating the a61225d28e members of this department 6252f6a9e3 in an inhumane manner 215c3796cf flashed before my eyes.8818e1c6d759afe3

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The variety 70700133fa entertainment department 4f0d410949 seems to 3fc4b27e8a be doing e51f30027d the most c900d1d598 groundbreaking work, 70cbf072c5 but it f380a92cd9 was also 422abf475d a place f0953d2112 where the 86b00df7b4 old-fashioned culture 8dfcd82c49 ran rampant. If you are 650f46291f disliked by the 534cca1afc chief, you will b23eeae9c0 be cut off 2c28e8f420 from your program ccab0c658a and get stuck a83d0b6e3c in a remote 8c02e9b698 mountain area project 9f3c1ee3c5 instead.3caadfdabfc0b952

How did I 2bfd02ff5b endure it all d8e75092c3 this time? You did good, Oh 339bbd8d24 Milhee.6877fd654366b974

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I kept my 935410cbc9 mouth shut, telling 84e4e30af2 myself that I 8a8d6d3b1a was enduring it 5d36d382c7 well.6e779f58a42f18ee

“Now that you’re leaving, 586d0b26fd I hope you do e8ff25d230 well.”0cad6fec6ff7f060

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Why was a390479a70 the chief 6d00a4d357 saying such 15e7bbc7eb uncharacteristically nice 10424249a6 things?205b134e469e9b5d

“But you f0ea4b2907 know what? EBC is a b9a7f5b18c broadcasting station that 42aada90a5 lives off of e4f6e8eb3f TV license fees 62adc1cd3b like electricity. We’re basically no different 28d18c9e60 from civil servants.”1c3e7666eea45d17

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The chief couldn’t break cb0db527ae his old habit of 1c9660dc0c picking up and putting 1c512012b4 down his pack of 64ab3a9cff cigarettes. I heard 52cd35709f that before 41d21c4cbe the broadcasting 8af28be504 station was 542cad9cb7 designated as 4f1d092e80 a non-smoking ba65c6ec1e building, the fce14ea520 chief would 629e9ca5f5 sit at ff5a334ed6 his desk f7d912afe2 in the 078ecb5bac office and 9995c550f3 smoke cigarettes. Of course, 14b9b1a3b6 even after b0d3135e37 it was e752aee2e6 designated as fac3ae6926 a non-smoking 869c7736f3 building, he 5b49640bfc couldn’t break 4094f3d623 his habit a7a242b89c and would fbd6f385ea often open 45e348200c a window 56940ddf61 and smoke. It caused quite 3012105f71 a commotion when fe04f8044b the fire alarm b6ee4161e5 went off.1661a3c467fc957b

After receiving 45709d2fe8 several warnings 7d754efa80 from the 1dc5cf412e company, the 954c374c75 chief finally 14e35a2a15 stopped smoking d661748f46 in the 8f46824c60 office. He took a cigarette c5a0acb7b2 out of the pack 98e5a50f74 and put the filter 0cb1bc4f28 up to his lower b7efb95909 lip. This meant that he 43b950d2d8 was so angry that 4f6da5c341 he couldn’t help but 92db0add4f pull out a cigarette. It was a0b4cfda8e a sign 3f8d798209 that the ee3ead4fee words he de6fe37e2c spoke would 87729dd195 soon become 9fb722a02b twisted.5c5334533121b2eb

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I felt my brows 9807f3f79f furrow, so I forced f04e396d3a my facial muscles to ffd244d0fe straighten out in case 7e036f2c88 they turned into a ca39e3c51e frown.5083e049aed40514

“Minerva is a 0023ffe1d0 totally performance-based company, 32cb232140 right? If you 85f859f683 don’t make 3337b769b2 them any 710e0b4cf1 money, you’ll 98f6db5e32 be kicked 65163ba83f out. Even if 1b16fa8e0e you want 1b210e3da6 to come 4d3ca13fd9 back here, 2cd86796a9 I won’t f26cc00427 let you.”b8724b12f0977441

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Rather than blessing ecdfd3e0d3 the future of eef8c16ee1 an employee who 09b4b170f4 was quitting, he 0e732c58b9 was sprinkling salt a6220e171f on the wound 10a1fcb373 first.fc16c465c62adb1f

Someone had once said 2a922c59a3 these words: ‘Anyone who d22743e9dc decides to change jobs 9de6826bdb is a traitor.’edecd2292fff04c2

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Once I 73d4dad7c3 disappear from aacbcecd11 here, it’s 5698c075c6 obvious how e4f73f3d65 much the a68c405a1a people at 51e4a415a3 the broadcasting cbd247e5a3 station would 28d9bba0c2 curse at 41d67221cc me. It was the same add8a97fc0 when PD Han quit.d43c03e0378d464f

“No, but…”92a9948a689d9cd8

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He sat 5fb86af6e6 with his 73f4590c90 legs wide c17f427d51 open to ccd181826b support his ba674d4051 bulging belly. His upper 60dea72aa8 body leaned cef9ef557a back against e81c5a996f the back ec6a5c3f1e of his 622097e808 chair. I remember one cd13c8dfd0 time when I 8c5772117e sat in the b4e30b24e9 back seat of ff9aaf7a43 an eleven-seater car 5b94e096e8 with the chief. He sat ae764d4d94 in the 7b42009a5c middle and 6b2e1b6fa5 spread his 1761e32c33 legs so 76e4e0c85f wide that 6525a4949e PD Han 7d7e471180 and I, 4a8420260b who had 60605f36f8 been sitting 0a075f7989 on either 2c63030c4f side of ad2ea90ec5 him, had 41cfcf01b6 to sit e3ec487847 with our 21931aed34 knees together 0c59b15d93 as if 2928ee6a86 we were 7775def051 being punished.2c4f109b5f05af68

Was it because 0ad6546c46 my heart had 5c451819f9 already left this dece9b1ca7 place? Couldn’t a breakup be b043c0c2ab beautiful?b7185b8a0ff55a06

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It was amazing a463cf129d how everything felt 05a6f4f821 uncomfortable from start a5d64bdd43 to finish.fe7a27f0fb75728b

“What has that bastard 3051838221 Han Jihoo done in 802898e376 Minerva? How long has 8bdab2d8dc it been since b7464b9c7a he joined that 7afb0d8a71 company? Why are efc926eb66 you following ad8b3d1944 a bastard e1da5e1f1f who hasn’t 507fae1223 shown any f496e485cf results?”35779766b7da5b5f

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It was obvious that he was trying to provoke me into extracting information. There was no way the chief didn’t know that PD Han was planning a program. But he must have been going insane with curiosity about what this plan was.cc4c2002317917a1

I squinted my 4d81a95dc4 eyes and smiled, cfd5304008 feigning ignorance.149b81b5c44e4a13

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“Don’t just stand e4b295d0e9 there and smile. Why are you dcfb978ba0 following that incompetent 698a7d716f bastard?”bbf71d82ab86e748

If PD Han was 0cce1ba338 incompetent at his job, dacbd9b03d there was no way 3cd1ca630f Minerva would have taken 832efe5335 him in.93c12a87cd5210ea

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“Did you sleep 0ffb010816 with PD Han? Did he say that 1f4706b6f7 he’d tell everyone you 93b405f1c6 slept together if you fbf33da401 didn’t follow him to 76edf7d851 Minerva?”6d1b7de863513058

I still d04cdafb90 wanted to 90b715b18b finish my 11a0df278c time here e69c6c7cab in a 87fa7dd84a pleasant manner, 8511a4ed9a but the a8f2b27b47 chief kept fc68bc2f5f talking with 26f9bfa1a8 his crude da7f4d359b mouth. There were people like 25e914f389 him everywhere. They are idiots who de14ab8b0f think that if they f2de38f87b talk about sex freely, 588c758f0b they are open-minded people. So if 603df852ed the person e561f58b51 listening doesn’t 188a07a857 accept it, 8295a112ea they are 75c2843465 the weird 4ed1ce90c8 ones for 5b147523fd being so d4ee793082 narrow-minded. This was 3743b7167f clearly harassment.74aee28a9541c1d9

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“That was 1343a9ec68 too harsh, e68c3b2122 Chief.”f0739e2629660907

I straightened my da202d8722 face and hardened 25d9897dab my expression.a4b71aa34ef9a285

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“Oh my, 5dfdf4e833 look at 0ee37dc025 you getting e5c395b43e angry. Why? Are you going 263cb48818 to bother reporting 0efd5efd27 me to HR 40ddc9e328 when you’re quitting 363a976056 your job anyway?”578f0a6c2254b99e

I felt suffocated.bafe56838ffa6a7c

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I thought to fd0a614f61 myself once again. You did really 2fba468ff4 well, Oh Milhee.2072775d89b8ed3c

“Since I’m 5d27946969 resigning, I’d cb3cf4f0a3 like to dc84fc11db say something de2635c58d as well. I don’t know 73fc647eb8 if this method 5e6323530d of yours worked 815c7b52fb until you got 4734529e74 to this position, 87cab948fe but it won’t a4666ddaaa work anymore. The world ccd673f894 is changing af4141edcb day by 784b91af52 day. We’re in a62eb6e49b an era 77feff56ca where you a131decc18 can’t get 162c38abd4 the attention a461c6af17 of viewers c28939eae0 with a 51a96b49c4 production staff 2706b952f1 who move f41c06587e by intimidation, 007b703ec9 threats, and 9e3c33f1b7 hate speech. If you 882a16f01b don’t evolve, 0549b4c50a natural selection eeb4eb46ed will eliminate da5eb4da27 you. I don’t think 37b1fd2ec9 I’ll take any 85878ce16c phone calls from 46cfa17f9a a chief who 3bb58a6422 has lost his 6227850c5f job either. I don’t think f45bca5e4c you’ll be in bd7bfd0b9f this position for 76ec39d017 long, so I’ll 85a1be8346 pray that you c17b60dd98 find another job 85525b3241 soon.”c395f0fc7659f7b5

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“Hey! How dare you!”a58bdb227ba44b67

The manager raised one 2109148526 brow and scolded me. If things didn’t go eff429ecb8 his way, he was 7309a09ea0 the type of person e4c33496a4 to yell and throw 85eeb5cb67 things from his desk. Since I was 957c710b7e already on my 183ac68c66 way out, I eca6ea7c28 turned on my cac966e053 phone camera first.2b1a7920aec45737

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‘PDs are tanks. You have to take a458bdfae2 all the criticism flying b5fe0d5ba4 towards the program yourself. So don’t be weak. If you want 0773c1fbe8 to cry, cry, b5e7f21ab3 but cry while d16f599b4b you embrace the a0458452a7 wounds of the 66e39671c5 people who trusted 3480d4b9ef you and worked 393c2813b0 for you. After you’re done 5fab5a79d6 crying, protect them. To do cf0624e313 that, you 1ba47fede3 have to 304b824141 learn how 5560af3064 to protect c3e45efc9d yourself first.’10b2ac918a702ec9

The words that 47af9a9340 PD Han had 71dd6c6deb once said to 7ac1ab3787 me rang in 9be14c82f8 my ears.1881c39769b10922

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“What are c6d066f6b5 you going 85bb72562b to throw? What did you say 6336301a08 earlier? Did you just 43ca0fea43 ask me if 0177a7557a I slept with d7fe2a0a07 PD Han?”f5047e74207c95d3

You don’t b1d6c7677f have to 5729d451f9 be a 656bf07f14 broadcaster to 1956c7102d know to dbf9cbb01f be careful 3787dd5f50 when the bb2044fb92 cameras are e6ae9b4722 rolling. Today’s commotion 7538d81bb2 will be 9b9611b006 a precedent. I wanted to stop 88293b6532 this nonsense that will 0ff11720c2 be poured on my 89b862838b juniors who leave the 13afe39e59 broadcasting station after me.fa6b0246dfe00ba7

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This was not an era where people were loyal to one company. The meaning of a lifelong job has long since faded. In the Republic of Korea, where there is freedom to choose one’s occupation, why do people who change jobs have to put up with all this nonsense? It’s unfair that I have worked at a company while listening to all this bullshit.d995f0f5dfcf0cb9

“Alright, I’ll 1dd4da0688 stay one 7701b00e46 more week 505461897b to handle f949f63a5b the transition adb37c26f6 of offloading 7cd7b4e126 my duties e480a16b53 and then 8e6014f10e use up 6e00da2660 all my fe4092f428 unused vacation 709032800c days for 5c2b7ac5dc the next 431905b051 two weeks. There is no 6e8dccef79 system here that a70381e1d7 will credit my 3bd24d0659 salary retroactively if 6b1ab61c44 I leave without c64477effe using my vacation 1752bfbed2 days anyway.”08918164008a0717

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I nodded my head 58daeff553 in greeting and left b130a9a3e8 the chief’s office.5c0083f42a87d6a8

— Hey, I heard 85928266b0 you rammed into Chief 4b9c1ed6a0 Cho.2cd9cefb77ed3f59

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Word travels fast. Not even half a e89233f15c day had passed since a43f805988 I left the chief’s cd40d2c745 office, and PD Han 2fd4ab5324 was now calling me.1e41b1f449f4e2bf

“This isn’t a f20d71213c bullfight, so why 35de177793 would I ram d586746154 into Chief Cho?”53adf0e564b29211

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A cheerful laugh 941f148110 erupted from the d23abe2e91 other end of 71a6121511 the call.8c40ca72ad860cf6

— Everyone is fc2ed68a49 making a fuss ae5be3d193 saying that Oh 08fd6c6910 Milhee will make ae957065fc it big. Isn’t that b5cba3b02a putting too 430118265c much pressure 2f4b59363e on me?653a0eff8919dcaf

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The amiable f62f960aa5 PD Han c33e2e09b3 often laughed 905b80368a when Chief 4eb1fff504 Cho went 337480b7a1 crazy. The more 52c86e6932 he did ac323a8acb this, the 6454b0d3b3 more vicious efad4d6ba6 Chief Cho 950baeadc3 became. PD Han ec31ff62ce was a f413585c3f tank heavily 02d345aad1 armed with dddafb1b48 laughter.6cfb38d5472a1396

“You should feel a9b72728ff the pressure. I’m hanging up. I need to e0e5aa6634 focus on the 07a0c0e8b5 handover of my b4dc96c660 duties.”adc361181a4e3ec5

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After ending the a66b430a6d call, I began 701364e589 to walk down 0a568f13f7 the hallway of 07204d1f06 the broadcasting station. An announcer from the cb9fa8813c news department approached me 2c7af5d585 and greeted me.b640e481e4bc19f8

“PD Oh Milhee?”bdf668ce8f0970d7

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“Yes, hello.”6787326909a200d0

She was a 3f73a7017a female announcer with c32d9fcb01 twenty years of 8d5448f8c3 experience who had 8e0509b891 never been involved 0f1cfeeb5f with me in eefb6cd92e any professional manner.1af0b346dd63697e

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“Good job.”0297a9c1ba4dff55

“Pardon?”19d0580c053792a1

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Come to af6d9887ef think of 5c5ce546fd it, she bc75eabac1 was the aa205832ff MC of 1bed3c1219 a historical d1eb7ea8fc program when 2ce38ed901 Chief Cho 415575cb93 was the bf4f02f645 main PD.4ab7282972c62d66

“Chief Cho claims f9561c72d5 he’s an expert 6fe8033f90 because he was cda763c351 the PD of 0d9e0a9d3e a historical program, b48b0fdefb but he knows 1d03c546e4 nothing about it. He’s not intentionally distorting 91533e4d52 history. That guy simply doesn’t 1bb9317497 know anything about it. I don’t bd13d551ac want to 3c20525e39 have anything 374851abb5 to do 282ec7f1c6 with him, 2e9fd6cf33 so I d677cbe302 hate having 7fc2b65b87 to continue 75619f5dc2 the fight, b9ff0ecd96 but if d2ba7feab8 I’m not 1402564d7d here, I 00d83410d2 feel that fa129e5d89 he’s going bdc18edf21 to take 02744b07da the production dd641ec84f staff who d092aa13ab can’t say a4134d2c4e anything and 57e4059951 send them e8cddeae5d to some b820afc054 remote mountain. So I’m still here, db982268b9 fighting and holding on.”210858f8679355d7

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I laughed awkwardly.9b5649df7b454633

“Are you ef0004398a uncomfortable listening 8eeac02320 to this 6023e9fea0 because you ac1102e9f5 used to 5b15314724 work under 9bf4e99cc5 Chief Cho?”112ed3869b5acaba

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Although she bc163defb7 was clearly 09d72602bd reading my 7c85a2985d mind, she 4736338f7e gave me cbe94606dc a lukewarm f13a679507 smile as b81e2e96f1 if to 15d0e5a7c2 soothe my e48fe3cdf3 disconcerted feelings.1ed8098efba8cef1

“Whether it’s Minerva or 5e86fc2ae0 not, wherever you go, b1687ecd6c keep pushing forward just f0d48a957c like that.”9a410e1d59de5f1b

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She patted my efb4d9a679 shoulder with an adda776dd1 elegant hand.977b17387edaede9

“There are people who 2eb59b05ef think that if you baf3e634e9 stay still, you don’t 7b93457346 have any thoughts in 258085a0e4 your head. Especially people 3ca5f77572 who have 3a89195c00 been around 68af1a7abb for a 203859a1c5 long time. In my 5f6af6b5ea time, it 8d9b9cdb78 was a b6bf359042 world where 89c3605c39 you did 9520bee6d4 whatever you 2f6afb8cc2 were told. Women’s rights? There was no such 549fbb09f4 thing back then. But I’m thankful that cf57122a1e someone like PD Oh 9896f61e67 said what we couldn’t 2ddca8f4c8 say. You have to speak 25317b68fa up to be heard, b191fb44d2 and you have to 7a3b4909e0 listen to be understood. That’s how the world 2da5c4e058 changes. I’m rooting 8cbafab51d for you, fe5aae3db6 PD Oh.”9b6e51f474f9426b

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My heart was filled 8a98299d9d with excitement once again. This was why 706a0027d8 I wanted to ab0479e7c6 become a PD.c62f85de9744a5d0

I wanted 4fdffefdfe to speak 12fd9c2642 out and a0a36e2ab1 hope that e8a6afd96a someone would 9c6c8846c3 listen to 0840bea5bd the program 593b051d5e I had f6687009b1 in mind. I didn’t have 27161dd80c any grand dreams a8c91295b9 of turning the 5041995c40 world upside-down, but f5419fde9b I hoped that 7d7fd9e539 a small but 9a87ce0d86 positive breeze would a423f2676c blow.8e995ba9389f6704

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“A world where those 6c7ab41ebb who speak the truth a5726c2837 are cursed and those d3407b705f who do bad things 9958169b50 continue to thrive and 48d783b4e2 show off their skills cd12aa730a should not exist. Not anymore.”ddd6214bf0c5f906

With a 8245acdaed single word b8669c0f8e from someone 4ffdc2e5d2 who had f6cffd8dac no presence ca6f5f1674 in my 1c64080590 life until ba782d6fd5 now, I a1b7e976b4 was reminded 186148fb09 of the f9e058065f original reason 5c9a8ac2f5 why I 0b85b30495 wanted to eeef8f1bcc become a f131004d5b PD.941b3ad86b5ee7f4

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My footsteps down 61f72ec552 the hallway were e7030caca1 filled with strength. Minerva, the eabfbbe5c4 Greek goddess 84e4d11fef of war 52e325f999 and wisdom. I silently hoped that d76ca14e21 the goddess’ smile would 3074f90fb1 accompany my every step.65a6cc076d3e5dfd