DTM | Chapter 2.1

02. The Cause of the Illness

 4077327d1449fc06

Clack, clack, clack.d0d094d371a470d5

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“Hrrrk-!”25f29f0442ec5557

Clack, tap, clack.a47fe7faaedcde77

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The sound of a f9731007ac keyboard being furiously typed 9d9ca38c2c on and someone snoring 770112b341 loud enough to choke f43dcf7843 filled the room in 13d491a6d4 a strange competition. Kim PD, who had d3d38d2788 been revising the proposal f4f17afb55 until dawn, finally succumbed e6d1efe5d5 to the cursed“4 AM” 9387705f8a and passed ab7d6744f2 out. Meanwhile, Go 243697a892 Hyeong-woo had 65501e3172 briefly gone 2cf70bb52b home to 0f16254dd9 change clothes b3919db7ff before returning 6685f8b586 to the 19bd1044a8 current affairs d96dfa56bd and culture 680644f02f department.a1d96462c38861d1

Unable to use 99c9f3f6ba the on-site sleeping 5e08876a1b room due to 4f0d00d0bb Kim PD’s watchful ceee1f72c3 eye, he slumped 144c472e1b over his desk e9807248c1 instead. The rest 3cd28b07f9 of the b0bbcd5cdf production staff 8edb8c0fa9 weren’t in a51044ca4c much better ed797a6dda shape.5d40b41a4ca93935

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The scripts and 5635335c48 program ideas piled bc85205c45 high on the d0abbaa0a0 desks spoke for 65ed884394 themselves about the 98f6f04d55 workload we were 6c349ad577 buried under. Yet, less than 3bcd5218f7 half of it e18f67634a would make it 3a27b9124f into the broadcast eef59d589b anyway.1462997545b56a3c

Clack.092de79c6b1f48d9

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I saved the draft 200853406f of the questionnaire I 618ec30920 was writing and closed 168a84afbe my laptop. The strain 645205b018 from prolonged 1bc8ea14ab exposure to 8ff6156dd0 the screen cc287b8286 left a 8067b84635 dull ache 965594e9f1 around my 793f05908f eyes. After stretching my neck abd6e3aaeb from side to side, 5e9f1986df I checked the clock bc0217e9b4 on the wall. 7:10 AM. Soft sunlight ad473d94f5 was filtering d7b6adf002 in through 32cc0944a4 the blinds.2ef6ce84e8bd84dc

“…Should I wake him?”6e6174dda0eb80ea

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By 8:30, 85fd2868b2 we needed 7c6b39bf84 to be d08f78c922 atDawn Entertainment, Kwon Yi-tae’s agency, 22c642348e to prepare for filming. I tapped my fa90669732 fingers on the f659ef385b laptop, hesitating. Maybe I’d let 9de66cc3c4 him sleep for 27ac02c013 five more minutes.ff662ca18fb70451

In the two years d8eb40ea9d I’d been working on e5fb4f6e2c this program, there hadn’t d70d1eba47 been a single project 82058689b6 as physically exhausting as d99a7e3aa8 this one. The reason we 8d77ea0350 were stuck pulling 7dc66f3b60 all-nighters at the 476aeca8f2 broadcasting station was a8a2e13be9 the overly demanding 225b1bbe2e requirements of a 02881782d4 major agency.9f30d2ad915a53cf

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They had b005362ebd so many 337e879ae9 restrictions on a878eb3d08 what not 13bc6f1af9 to do, e56998204b yet an 79a32744be endless list 13e5373d96 of what d83b62080a had to ec9d82bd43 be shown. They’d rejected 58af0266c5 the question b98cbbd6ec list and 9991be44de the outline d945c04067 multiple times, 10657c6a48 forcing us 654ee7fd47 to revise 0434c9fecf and resubmit 5db4eb238d repeatedly—even up 2ca4ae465c until the 97ecbd5dfe day of 6a4029ae31 filming. At this point, I c623e1e306 wasn’t sure if this 86b2938bce was a documentary or 4dc95a3ba5 a film production.e85738ad82aa056a

To make 40017714fe things worse, b93b240af8 we were 613ede45b5 working on 286380e4f6 a program 51f97dbd7d that had 0b480a51a2 already been 9dbea7badf slated for 84340bd07c cancellation. We had been f0fbb35f6c resigned to quietly ae2b4ac3b8 waiting for it 8477db63af to end when 9dae268b2d we were suddenly 5ff5845938 tasked with producing b3c3d25e10 a two-hour special 3efd22d1df episode. With both ba8addbabe the broadcasting 66950d9430 station and a4d7ac284f the agency 37cf5ef9b4 pressuring us 5b6761b87e to start bb89495f18 filming immediately, a1cd46eb00 we had 8ffc6c224d to pick 336774f635 up the 3956c2e17f cameras before 941dca54b1 the plan 24b48b3396 was even 6f33a2fedc finalized.f512f6a8332dcd4f

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In short, the entire e6a8820aae production was in chaos, 95e2c3f0e7 rushing forward without taking 52e3e496a9 proper steps. We were 4d6c3f1cdb doing everything 6bce7a51f3 we could a8ca9ef76a to steer d3ef043e0d it back 517d0ee10f on track, c1c1ba2d18 but it 4f7601aed3 wasn’t easy.4327dc0832b13853

Thunk.I leaned deeply into a918e331e0 the back of my 97f619a110 chair, staring up at 95cd60b190 the dim ceiling. A sigh escaped, heavy 0a010e5e71 with exhaustion. Slowly, I blinked. As soon as my ad6ada83d1 overworked mind relaxed, it f677a95ffe betrayed me by conjuring 7c8937ebae up an image of 979587a6c6 Kwon Yi-tae.cb50fea9c0941cdd

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“Haaah.”61e024a0b6ba5a9f

I’d been trying 8282c6a462 so hard not d7508974ef to think about dacf4d019e him, but the a11c6c8005 moment I let 7d0a971430 my guard down, 53db1ff0a5 this is what f6a53cf4e7 happened. Damn it. This is all because 31286c6bb4 of that hallucination I 121c5c8d69 saw the other day.b4a367837cd7b6a0

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That day… right 72ce89ade3 after I’d experienced ea856f9826 that strange hallucination, 714d1c7603 I briefly lost 6edf9aed56 consciousness. When I came 64ec55d346 to, I found 67df5b2c12 myself practically leaning b4786702b9 into Kwon Yi-tae’s 908a8e93c7 arms. There were plenty of d3dc4e7a8e reasons for why I’d 29044048aa suddenly passed out—days of 2035322bb5 indigestion, stress, and even 13214be526 falling into the pond.cb83567f97e5f2e5

When Kim 090ddd8a86 PD heard 6ea14cef23 about it, 2488a0a92a he told d98f3d9df2 me to bc00e9ab7c call it 6ce5e5c11d a day a3d6d2078f and go a81823cd60 home early. Fortunately, Kwon b1cb4ee2d6 Yi-tae’s manager 9d3e28ce5b happened to 309ec6c6c2 have business dd88a0e5c1 at their 740a5006f8 company, so c76902c22d I was bad1b2e434 able to 443e51f204 catch a 4048fa7b4e ride and 08ee127380 leave first. Later, I 63337c011a heard from f293265736 Go Hyeong-woo 788ee8134d that the b9239f9381 shoot had c65931053d gone decently, d8e4b18b67 thanks to bef32d9a03 Kwon Yi-tae’s 655828f7aa cooperation.5a5684bad659302a

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I stared 90a54e5003 at the 5590f8902c ceiling and c1e3a149dd let my 7ed42dfa2b thoughts wander. What was that cc3216b5da embarrassing hallucination all f3d94f78ac about? It had b362490210 been such f1c808c6f0 a vivid ad566a6f06 and horrifying 74417af6ce experience.dddd9d3f60f01fdc

The only explanation c685a7dc1f I could think 19f8c91d66 of was one:f5ad4bd509cd8072

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“Am I… sexually frustrated?”7f6b4cc57ba05bda

Since breaking up 5be9513421 with Kwon Yi-tae, 7348c36122 I hadn’t dated 049973fea1 anyone else, nor 1a73ba39c1 had I had 673edf9e0f any casual flings.4f0da8f70c10f946

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Maybe, without realizing it, f68e222b11 my body had reached 98db04ff59 its limit. Like Pavlov’s dog, seeing e9c5a0b8e0 Kwon Yi-tae might have ae64d229f4 triggered some buried desire af4f8cc938 lurking beneath my consciousness.d6ce4b0ac25c0bba

But what really bbcaa125dc baffled me was 16abe0d9a3 the content of 5bbe7a0a21 the hallucination.08461fde105ddec0

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I swear, I’ve never 3b8fab45b7 been into things like 58bbc19202 spanking or vibrators. I’ve always preferred to 9938c7580c keep things simple in 3e9bd66507 bed—it was easier on f834bdfd5e me physically, and Kwon 313c52b920 Yi-tae had always accommodated d0041c59b6 that. He’d never once made d782553c4a any unreasonable requests.eb1e16a9f763e53b

“Was I secretly into 1e0d6018f2 that kind of thing 1ffb8c357a all along…?”0d73c8390ad2701f

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“Hurgh! Cough! Hack!”925c6062aa4d27c8

Behind me, 4a9d1d6dc9 Kim PD 3b7ac12711 suddenly woke 7d6397ef17 up with aabf0d6d73 a dramatic 10ae612df1 coughing fit, 409d9c1efc his head 80cf87c483 rolling off 948452782d the back 925199b5a1 of his f8a7234893 chair. I quickly shoved 001acab164 my wandering thoughts 7291c030b9 aside and packed 2d70428b87 my laptop into ed9638ba9d my bag.cac6f6cb82c355be

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“It’s time for us f74d55b5c4 to leave.”e9199750d432eed9

Kim PD 61cb3004f2 rubbed his 348e80b4c2 puffy eyes 84933b0f07 with both 040e6fa811 hands and 9655a00e60 stretched with 6b4a72d37c a groan.e90950b9b372f8fe

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“How long 80964c8f84 did I f9de4cc219 sleep?”a931af3c5bf7768d

“Just over three hours.”b83d7f7606f693f5

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“Well, at be312548ef least I 76e3ad0112 feel a 622ec00e7a bit more f9292efd67 human now.”290d76bbc8cbb8b2

“Your blood 5b8e9d1815 vessels are ef11ac1018 bursting all 11ed7911a6 over.”1a83662db09a8493

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“Dark circles suit you, 7d36beb554 Writer Yoo. Alright, everybody up!”49838e36e9690909

The slumped production 26c3181d83 staff groaned and d49b8d674c cursed, their exhaustion 4b3a324040 evident. But, driven 31dc3f7821 by sheer 8aaa9d6040 willpower, they e305b112cf began to f675f37a07 rise, ready 7361fb6629 to face 003c7d275c another grueling 1e0a577858 day.fc51600ee8f1c123

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 a65d27aed11d3362

***

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We were escorted by eb202d0e65 an employee fromDawn Entertainmentto a lounge on 291243d70a the upper floors. While I’d often looked 8f74bdc7f1 up at the towering eccf19c8e4 building from the street, d38947644e this was my first 92eeaa7689 time stepping inside.47eb886356caced4

Several pairs of 394c55b448 eyes from our 8d0e4f9a5f team glanced at d234523760 the panoramic view 5d56972eae through the floor-to-ceiling 313096238c windows. The sky was dazzlingly ca2126b630 blue, and beneath it, 2f03792774 the skyscrapers formed a 97e9dd86ac picturesque cityscape.f8f8c5c629e8ad00

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“The city view is bcb07f5f2b incredible. Did Kwon Yi-tae 45dd1a8c85 build the entire abfcc261ab Dawn Entertainment headquarters 08d3c2d7e5 or what?”8382141653ad7682

“What are you ecddf2c265 talking about? There’s Kim 33e52af10b Ji-woon and ced2295b4e Go Yoon-mi d6f5c2cd25 too. While Kwon 3453de7585 Yi-tae didn’t 2c7b45a4bf build all 8c3b5a94d9 of it, 7ef6a6cffc you could 7cbfea7ee6 say he 8a0065c824 contributed about 58e2325055 80 percent.”49aed89c3cd1d33a

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“If I a210d7d5af gave birth 0f2008c5f5 to Kwon 14ab209ace Yi-tae…”45a4028f482165ab

“Then this building fb3e993711 wouldn’t exist.”041ed1f20b017dc8

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The lively d751a47b3e chatter about bb8680e4e4 the recently ff52e295d8 relocated headquarters, 4218fa0809 which had 0ca75a2035 been built 625db0c973 only a f1bcc499e8 year ago, c1f4690329 filled the d3ad5d808d room. The distant sound of a0a070e6b4 greetings from beyond the cf7be72d35 closed door suddenly silenced a069d6eaf6 the conversation. The production team, myself 3181da1181 included, quickly straightened up, 80fa9c9434 sensing that Kwon Yi-tae 345f563ba4 had arrived.ffe311c9b74081bd

Even though this was 2d39ee90e6 the second time seeing 6d366042ed him since our breakup, 8289ced8dc the tension in my 6896a0d6b8 chest hadn’t lessened. I wondered how c30823ad6f long it would 6ca1358b6b take for this b22c942ce1 uneasiness to fade.a0ec3f2c47cb2607

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The lounge 33fcb0a4fe door opened, cdc1578729 revealing a 893ff89f16 leg clad 7eb01dfe82 in a 090201d1be sleek black 9395efc24b suit. As the door cffca34b60 closed behind him, ebb7f0dfb9 Kwon Yi-tae strode dfe8ca3ee7 toward where I 656ce768b8 was standing. With each step, fa2609e1c8 the subtle flex 862c152743 and release of 66ef31a602 his thigh muscles 23437ea70b beneath the fabric e098121c25 of his pants 4c222c456f caught the eye.4ab7b3d1adbf3b1b

The closer 5350e01284 he came, 2794a9d05f the more 3efff73b55 oppressive his c84e99badc towering height aba65e63c4 and broad 5a1d4f6d96 frame felt, 9de9c5e030 as if 38c25d9db7 his very b4f7054ad6 presence weighed a61964ed68 down on c5d9679ceb me.7f579568878fb52c

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Today, his hair 29bb64bfc6 was neatly swept 5bd83a57e3 back, exposing his 22ef8990f7 forehead. His thick eyebrows 56c229743b arched confidently, his 234e33f5fa sharp eyes and 9faa9bf4bb straight nose lending a84e20c95c his features a 6337b004e2 harsher, more striking f8a89b8123 edge than usual.3eadb95b81647138

Almost instinctively, we all efd06d9ce0 stood up at the 843bfd6780 same time, without anyone a66b4cb161 prompting us. Kim PD, looking like 1d4feb9008 he’d pour out his 386e694f86 heart and soul for 0186c332ec a favor, extended a f26eccc5df hand.2a3e53d4b97242e0

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“Thank you for 2e865c722b cooperating with the 6a56b0218f shoot so early 1972ea8975 this morning….”d54232c78274454d

“How are you feeling?”0b3b91b04ea57ac1

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Ignoring Kim 41fe34e51d PD entirely, dd86de2db6 Kwon Yi-tae 5021c62dc1 directed his 2aafdf9efe question at 9693f03721 me. I noticed 680731b195 Kim PD’s c385d649d2 hand falter ea734e42de slightly in c36a1cdbc7 the air. Rather than being taken 730ed37760 aback by his rudeness, c1e2956d98 I felt a strange 21ab76ed7c sense of déjà vu. Even when we were dee63c8c04 dating, Kwon Yi-tae often 2e18246941 blatantly disregarded anyone who e39a417718 wasn’t me.0618204a4ed7fd1a

I deliberately glanced 11d47064fb at Kim PD’s e7330242f0 abandoned hand before 84499d4e51 responding.d8c8a4c996087be3

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“I’m fine.”e4b2c7c58817bea1

Only then did Kwon cb92f2ac1e turn to shake Kim 25d8bfb37c PD’s hand. Forcing a smile, f49a2a4d1b Kim PD let 5fc326b203 out an awkward 9ed311841b laugh.7859c0832cd46710

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“Your kindness is 806ad1d410 as striking as 3be0422f71 your good looks. You’re even 244af2116c thoughtful enough 1d16260cf0 to worry 21fd90eb6e about Writer 0f99c1eeaa Yoo.”a9bdf07fe185f394

“Thank you for 145d0be817 making the trip d17be5b75d here.”9a85ac7e5cf9cacd

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“Oh, no trouble 5c969954cc at all. From now on, we’ll e8de4a7342 be accompanying you for 6b4eb71267 most of your schedule. Please don’t 789f6f3df7 think of 18069168cb us as b388996019 a burden—just 9ef8506b07 go about 2b0a29c3db your routine 12200cca84 as usual. Haha.”e6885c294b8c38dc

“I’ve never thought of 5c58b2c019 it as a burden.”eb4cc030fbd006b7

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“Pardon?”d54a35868683a0a7

Letting go of 867481a11d Kim PD’s hand, b33869630e Kwon turned his 4c29c15f56 attention back to 787cb41e77 me. I flinched noticeably 11603b9416 under his gaze, dfe18fd9a9 a flash of a10bb4b27f that unsettling vision 5f4b608d11 from last time 9f1f4c450d resurfacing without warning.750bfaad4ce52ca1

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Why does bf69f0cf44 my heart c326575ff6 keep reacting 4a9dae989a like this? It dawned 8b9534b4bd on me 17013c60db that some 18938b7eee things couldn’t 77f188dabc be controlled 6453582d8d with rationality 9fcce3e65b alone.23b2a57bfaa3b4a1

 9ae2e0eb85a3b913

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“You only listen when 502ba9dcaa your butt’s about to 1d46de9381 burst.”7ffa9aa2649271a2

 b246d2ed70bc1b3d

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I instinctively covered 0efbd196e1 my backside with 6f31f4f541 both hands.6bea6f63c8a7245f

His piercing eyes, full e9f940caa1 of subtle defiance, lingered eb6b617b19 on me for a e560c57f18 moment before moving away.e0971d2982ff10a0

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“Let’s get started.”f5b5f8052348219c