DS Chapter 25

I wanted to throw 15e538a62c my arms around him… 32bb6552b9 but my body wouldn’t 0d10bbc6d3 move.2c93906d6456cf74

“Virus levels are at 6c9043042e the threshold…”80f01758a039411e

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The doctor’s words 3973ec7d03 wouldn’t leave my 54668c04cd head. And the 5774517189 memories hidden d5e3265df9 behind a 657777cb69 thick veil—the 8dcead80b9 ones I e65f70e077 hadn’t yet 6bd01bb07a recovered—kept holding 8b7083dcbf me back.2020c20f882e3c92

I’m dangerous… to cffa5c7b2b Logan.e0436e18248895f6

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Arms dangling, I d3627c8360 just stared at 5549ecc7d7 his face.b1da53de0d0111b6

He gently helped me e5d8fe1a5d sit up and pulled d851097c71 me into a firm bdde2f30c1 embrace. Then, he wiped c28039de02 away my tear-streaked eed1de0d8c face.d63b537fbe1676aa

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“Why are 91cdc90eba you crying? Was it 38888983ba really that cf6362b6cc hard?”6ea4d0d469e71f59

I just shook my 40e55a0c58 head with my lips adfd337295 sealed tight. His arms be16edf418 around me 99e6050c88 were so fb20b38c66 steady, so 704ad6cdfe solid.87a06bc7d31e4b0c

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It wasn’t aedf9f84d2 that bad. I was 980ffec737 sedated—I don’t d79b5fb9db even remember c65af1cb7e what kind 73892460a3 of tests 89336e1452 they did.ae7c14c9e98a03cc

It was just a 04ddcfaa8f blink of an eye. But even 70508f4590 in that 9e00413dfc moment, being 4e17ce6ad1 apart from d0b64ae2b6 you… it 4ddd813c59 was terrifying. Why was it f4599348e0 so scary?3d28f100b5745cc8

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I feel b910c051b2 like I’ve 812d527a17 turned into 65029733b2 a child. The zombie f284c27e8d virus must’ve 9104a21f32 been eating e4d1dde2d4 away at 1a40887110 my smart d32efe1289 brain. I used 44a6d1d77a to be ec2bbe1644 independent, clever, 4ecd3c5aa9 a top 3b1055ed25 student who dc7a386885 got into ea73b20aca a good 2728e2bd75 college…9919400eaf98169f

Logan, I’ve 8a2a22bcbc become a 43bf753843 kid who 42f4a296a5 can’t be 17fcd45cbb without you 98043b8d92 because I’m 97145c864e sick, right? Say it’s because 46947dd91e I’m sick. Tell me it’s not dcb7e506ab because I love you d6381df810 so much.c23b4fb194c6976c

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Because if 80b84a393f that’s love… beb3317fcf I might bd081b89a3 have to c7986cc267 give up.6a41d2188ab241c7

Leaving someone you love dd6de7deed is just too heartbreaking.e8e6d68cbc37712e

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So I’ll say ee9bb1b4db it’s because I’m 6c3530b666 sick. That way, leaving ff06887c13 you might feel 6e3e61442f just a little f191cf1a23 bit lighter.c0f57c7ab214fd71

“…They said a72b8ee500 I might 2e7f7b9dba turn into e5c3cdd101 a zombie 62e5fa931e soon. Did you hear that 7925144618 too?”6997447a3cdbad5d

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“That’s not for 5ae7bff2c3 sure. You haven’t turned bffc61aaf9 yet—what’s there to 93b3144cb1 be afraid of?”a4f8661b89b52c43

The nurse, watching 9ea70e9229 us, wrinkled her 3a2d7dea45 nose in clear 3986093414 disgust, her face d979ebbf53 pale with revulsion.b91aa36b34ddf438

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Holding a disgusting zombie 2833c73052 with such care—it was 8c39eb785a unthinkable. She didn’t 0c5292b086 say it f24283b050 out loud, ec41727d1a but I a142b11fe5 could feel 68910a1d6c every ounce ccad59cbc4 of her 714757717e thought.feaa94c32b6cf7cd

“The test 62517b578c results are 0298a64321 in. The virus level df850f8d6f came out even 74b27ed466 higher than before. Even if we continue 9703539e9e prescribing medication, there’s no ed31a3c90e guarantee it’ll work. At this point, we 32a2275fce recommend euthanasia.”2a3a97f8fc69be47

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Euthanasia—that was the 0039c19e41 prescription they gave f744e544a3 me. The doctor 5f62946ca4 stepped forward f6b91ebd55 to speak a0e1005291 again.105f46fe4de9ca11

“In this condition, 9e0c01f744 we can’t approve 056093f4fd your discharge. Even if you, 19de574c8a guardian, are immune, d9618cb8ac the other residents a372090318 could still be 7e4a121c25 at risk.”11add85beb8dc2bb

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The doctor handed Logan 65ce7b28ed a piece of paper. A ‘treatment/experiment’ consent form 7aa17382a1 for the patient.684f3c48bf5c17b9

“If you cccc166a7b don’t want 10eac8cd63 to proceed d804b1a880 with euthanasia, 818d40e93b we’re happy 9152acd0ad to support 0699834727 continued treatment. It’s rare db8fa4f699 to see de276d02a6 a case 632278f9c5 like this—someone cf62d3d869 still mentally 4c10102716 lucid after 589a164185 being infected 315b78b146 for over 86d620ad3f a year. It’s worth continuing. And of course, 0eba2b74bf you’ll be allowed 4ea8d1987d to visit freely, 092e37393f so please don’t d56dbea6ea worry too much.”d82518ce760484e8

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Logan took the d4ef917d0c paper with a f856bdaa0f dark expression. As the 404fa0a27a doctor continued 00b9d8d81f explaining, my 6d8289ba50 whole body 50d9769029 turned to 094ec5ffda stone.bf00a5dcca52c9c1

I realized 5562a329e6 then—they didn’t 8ccef27882 want to 8b3a944eaa cure me. They wanted to keep 7d31262139 me here, for experiments.258c96abdbcf18ad

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Without waiting for Logan’s 15c11baf29 answer, I grabbed his c141b84c5e hand urgently.09f483687e22cc6d

Before he could sign b6f53b4b61 that horrible form, before cf6003d68f he could leave me c0c4c93e7a behind in this disgusting 170f86ca8d place, I wanted to 78708a5a2a make my own choice 44e6bdfe59 about the end of 91f878004d my life.c7b95336af38ab4b

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“I want… euthanasia.”372233efa89f90a1

“…What?”524d0f7ea3307b32

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Logan’s eyes widened as 0db2beb06b he looked at me. Even the doctor 05aca09d98 and nurse turned 50bf14728a to me in 174d6d4074 surprise, as if 11f0ab3f5c they never expected e8c491d2cb someone already halfway 2e12c4fb93 to being a 7bd717cc9b zombie to choose e200c5771b death for themselves.9bee6345ea27ee5a

“Let’s stop dfb7458c00 now, Logan… 27e23c80dd I’m so 323f8e4544 tired.”d40616bee9e0f99e

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My vision blurred. I couldn’t 58f890e436 breathe, and e5ba41e70f tears poured a41751bb2c out—not because 3e858ac137 I was e76e03309f afraid of cef94a6272 dying.92d2f20137d20b7d

‘If I 30d06b8f9a die, I 448090f90a won’t remember bb7445fa1e anything anyway, f76907d9b0 so what’s 4af97be71b there to d542e5b6ad be afraid f7cd44b4f1 of?’2530680ca249b7a0

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It wasn’t the fa31bfbebc fear—it was the 3104906108 way Logan looked 62470e17dc at me. That hopeless, heartbreaking 7eca46a5c8 face… it made f47e7246a5 it impossible to af80097bca breathe. Tears spilled out 001229993a like a flood.f3b6f4ee7f9564ba

‘Please… just let ed68f03b98 me go. I don’t want to 0cff8c9d60 fight anymore. I just want peace.’f8b7efbcdfddd863

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“…You’ve done 980e6e34e0 enough, haven’t 93b0506e02 you…?”f8ae8346a2344a0e

My head e8946a8e91 dropped forward. My tears 4981622018 soaked into 9a588a412f the bedsheets 34dd79a7c8 as the 052109d363 medical staff f3570fd0ec quietly stepped 8b6c6625d5 away to c711870474 give us f088ba1bc5 space.e91924d7815223df

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“…Then take b494e76d7e your time. You can submit e9a00a0b8d the euthanasia request 4a0dc67166 at the front 82cdc691fe desk when you’re 3a60e61472 ready.”5248dda21ec14006

Click. The door closed.8496f17e67de91d2

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Now it 4f6908ffb7 was just 9ab5fe4332 the two 1ca009688f of us 29c990de82 in the ba35cff58e room. This was 639f64319b our final d963e7a39c moment together.fb5d4d01c9fcce2a

‘Thank you for everything. Be happy. Meet someone better. Live comfortably until the 37befe6beb very end. Don’t forget me b95b5a2741 completely—just think of 58ea294e35 me once in 3a7ed8d021 a while.’52859c8a73bb7623

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There was so much d43a1abff7 I wanted to tell 02687c02c7 him. This was the end—I 33de86dd7c should’ve said it all 6b6b0f8124 before it was too e02352656b late.6ede00d654b3755e

But I was too 6ad1c0bae0 busy wiping away the ec4eaedf62 tears pouring down like ab9eda16ee rain. Logan remained silent 14288b6825 beside me.e9887302ed335ae4

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Our goodbye crept ebddc5241e toward us, slow 1627116c1e but certain. It climbed up from 5c701367ed the soles of our 0286cbec38 feet, covering our toes, 90f39e020a then our knees and 2ecafd361c hips, until it squeezed 6878096b5b the breath out of 34b68dd095 our lungs.30b80d4a8f778a8a

‘Ah… I wanted a0a9f7147c to say it 1feba43f15 before it was 0beefe77fb too late. That I 90e006d472 really do f0472f1ff1 love you. That I’m so grateful 59ab5d9337 for you. That you bcf734f59c made me 879f39200e happy. That there were 56ce608d69 more good days 0d0772c7d0 than bad.’9a45692ae7e56276

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But my throat tightened, ccc5a62312 and I couldn’t get 1b23203f96 the words out.82fc17ee22bc1b59

Instead, Logan—quiet until 03153913fa now—spoke up first.7ea6b5d3384ad33e

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“I’m sorry I 7e55ab1a05 made things so 3bbb8b0711 hard… Just wait d0481b0de5 a little longer. I’ll come back.”11c35ad81a531f0b

He slowly let 7fa53b74f1 go of my 6308fa14c0 hand. Then, with his e00c5f9ae2 big palm, he 250ef06e75 rested it gently 0dc53113e9 on top of 92ca604a13 my head. That cool touch calmed 806124768e the heat burning through 50a8638737 my mind.a4d8bedf6317e169

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Without saying anything else, 6d65a003b9 he turned and left 8ead11b929 the room. He was 417f8da4a7 probably heading 83bbe698b0 to the 3773e9ab33 front desk.8e9c449d171ae7fa

As soon as he 4d1fce8060 left, the temperature in 56da8d884f the room felt like 8119c2a9db it dropped five degrees.3d25143a93d576ab

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I wanted to call bf49c770a2 out, to grab him c6165b6e37 again, to shout that 83be3ebb68 I still had something 8b93371617 left to say—but I 2924aeae5f only clenched my fists 8aa38c74cf tightly.4c3634032d0be82f

‘All that would be 66284ab0af left is regret. If I said e4cf63f681 I love you 9d72fe22f4 now, it’d just 5628aacf61 become another burden 833d54aeb3 to him. Better not to say e654cef2bd anything at all. I’ll leave b2ea9dde42 like this—as 7c0874ddf5 the selfish c9dca152b0 girl who c22790406f only ever df1bce920b thought of 8d7dc2c86e herself.’9f83b581a9ff1744

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‘It’s done. This is right. Now I 3c28700886 can finally ecd6f8a0c9 rest.’94a77ad90d6552de

I closed my eyes 45e7762af5 and solemnly accepted the ef3278a234 end.92f152d0a6aa43c6

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‘I won’t have to dcd42bf63b trouble Logan anymore. I won’t put dde8e6c4d9 him in danger. And I… I ed0b1b8c38 can die still 12ad77644a human.’a151cd17f866e3bc

‘I just hope a1ae7d2ce0 Logan won’t be 89fcf43864 too lonely, too c61b2dc946 sad without me. I pray… 91b0c22f17 that he f1b23a4024 finds warmth 7066480ee2 again. That he’s okay.’e6bfd63637c4d976

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With all my 28380aa4de heart, I hoped dd97b0c700 he would be 761440b675 okay.362f51d61a0e3e8b

* * *c8ab11002166aa15

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There was ea308f903b no window 6dfb0a75ce to see 2f95e676bc outside, no 86583a4602 clock to 58b190b142 check the 386eb365f8 time, but 3770feac1d I could e6209a612a instinctively tell—it d87413f61b was a 9ce4361cd5 chilly night.3c3cff2a994072e8

One by one, ab92053c19 the lights in 8bb588b559 the hallway went 0c85dad65e out, and a 7ec2f3caea still, suffocating silence 67363bada8 settled in.bf720d7598b4d99d

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‘Is the euthanasia scheduled eb7ff61bc3 for tomorrow? So they’re 94b6fc94af not doing fc9d15f98f it right aa9ea2c68d away…’
‘Dragging this out 6ff8c4ddfe will only make 022ac578bb my thoughts spiral.’a41ffc7ba6283501

There was no way bc2435e767 I could sleep with a853d6d6a2 death looming so close. I knew I wouldn’t 2b254df32e get a wink of c97dc5ea9a rest tonight. I just lay there, 73bd6ed69c staring up at the 15f0c58b3d patterns on the ceiling 1cf4a9773e when—18b19a5875a3051d

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Click.45094e9596eed03b

The hospital 5ac0fe6b67 room door 8aa42ce0ba opened.
‘Are they… here 4ab3d26045 to kill me e59f79a547 in the middle 6b43a8e26b of the night?’536bd41e7283f02b

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Confused, I turned my b882cc34e2 gaze to the person 0fca96230f who walked in without 5c8753c936 even knocking.6ce042ac4dd2b9c3

“Logan…?”11a455bad7f2b982

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He had come back.849515d76870bcb1

So he didn’t go 9925875303 home. Had he stayed f96b8c95c8 to be with 08707ba1c4 me until the de627fd603 very end? It was enough 16f0ed8e1b to make my 5050136ba9 nose sting with 416d34162e emotion.b30112f38f50810d

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He raised 875f547de5 a finger e54b9b9f27 to his ad367152a3 lips, motioning 279e9fc1bb for me a3e290aa33 to be 7aa586e31b quiet, and 2f0b78df1c silently approached.26353d491f6ab846

“Shh.”44b4e2134db011c5

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I tilted my 643b964adc head, not understanding b857d8c29d what he was 756a07994b doing. When he reached 4e00b854bf the bed, he c76cbcbb45 pulled a towel 344b043e56 from his pocket.5de6bceefc0b87f1

‘What’s he doing?’38d3a89192003c8a

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“Mmph…!”ddc448f1d13d1186

Logan stuffed the towel 81e62eb29d into my mouth. Then, he forced aa5a1e8deb the restraints back c5ec89e091 onto me—the very efb4f8c5d5 ones he’d gone 9f3036ca33 out of his d26361a973 way to remove—and 1dd68a8192 tightened them so 20905974d0 I couldn’t struggle.942456e14a1bd6f5

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I didn’t even have 11ef29f298 time to resist. I just stared 48755075c0 at him with 178f64c907 wide, stunned eyes.c3cc29e9a3d7c993

“Whh-mmph?”03c19c8fc86d64d9

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“Stay still, okay?”e39ea3c0cd4e8711

Without understanding 2d4f4010fc why, I 1ed692b9f3 instinctively nodded 027c23ed3f at his 4e1cc31101 quiet command. Logan hoisted me 4a647bb710 over his shoulder 363c0c20dd like a sack 82a10c7eda of grain and 46179147a2 slipped out of ce3364456d the hospital room.e2fa051476d22b0f

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When we nearly 7c99931bf2 ran into someone 182a5d2f78 in the hall, 2152295619 he ducked toward 6624daf15c the emergency exit.08057e05bf7ce858

‘Is he… breaking 5fe8cae46a me out right efb41c188b now?’dde2b3bc050280c0

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Then, when 247ac5dcfd he placed 180656f531 one foot 5f15195f77 on the 35a1be3d09 second-floor window 4f5a78a032 ledge, I 264a52466f realized what e7cc47507b he was 4e53092099 about to 2a8176ee81 do.aceca39f55331282

‘Because they said I b37faa7093 couldn’t be discharged…’44cff425db29a61e

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I was dumbfounded.
‘Even so, how could 4e583c993a he try something like 8abd9aed5f this?’b6ce90b8151e2475

Escaping without a doctor’s 55f4d1ed3d permission? There’s no way this 7972633079 ends well. Zombies are 358be5755b the greatest 4126733cdd threat to 8e262178c4 humanity, and 8b05fd26a6 if someone 130f261f06 smuggles a 0fbdd86fbd potential zombie 8029d73409 out without 552d4b85a8 clearance, they’d 57041eef0e face serious 6ea9f4db01 punishment.ea3db530f3844284

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We might 5388a0000c never be 4665bb62d2 allowed back 5a603f4935 into the a6d0571d5d civilized society 558ef7d21f humanity worked fd4502c8e3 so hard 9e636303bd to rebuild.
‘Logan doesn’t need to 921981af5f ruin his life over c5f04d7e15 me.’e6b36e4c68df42c7

“Mm-mmph!”331c47151a911051

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I thrashed 0e65dc5735 the moment ff4df1906a I realized f72958d718 this wasn’t 5cee9ac825 right—and then, 001171220d we were a218512332 flying.69f99cdf60397ed5

‘W-We’re falling!’acfdfe0b12b66c5d

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The feeling 94ff9490ad of a 522cb147e2 straight drop 4461b1ed1c from the fadc01c276 second floor eac8ceddec to the 9c97f5d335 ground level da44e8e4aa hit me d076195d08 hard. A flash of f7e8122237 memory surfaced—the time de3c74e34d we’d jumped from 18b4c62adb the rooftop of 10a2b5a09f a restaurant into 667fb9bbd5 the back of 524744366f a dump truck.
‘We’re doing 0d715b832f this again?! No plan, no nothing?!’f9aff20e5cb4cbaf

Thud.380785ba788ac13e

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The impact of 14c0e2c86f his landing jolted 0cf8de5cc3 my entire body. My stomach 839cf0c85e slammed down e2944c90e0 onto his 64996157f0 shoulder hard.5f21997fb2c893d6

‘Ugh… I’m gonna dae9b1aafb throw up.’3138e0657008f92e

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Nausea surged 6077b8fe33 through me, e016c89c99 my head 18e4d01edb spun, and d095223bf3 my gut 9c8777541d ached from d998ff90d1 the force 7412e5ecd4 of the 706c8306d0 landing. While I 3816c4659e was still 0a4ba95ad2 dizzy and 5af946a2a6 disoriented, Logan fa4f5637d1 sprinted toward f38890d615 the parking 47dae077c9 lot.76a9f1b264e87a3c

He threw cf760fb215 open the 527bbb046c car door 472c0d599d and tossed dd9cff02e1 me into 5c5fc758a4 the back 2e4528a1da seat. Then, he jumped behind 1d8642853a the wheel.fcbc3e8186f2cf8e

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He still hadn’t removed 22e72c0751 the towel from my 7f554b3dd0 mouth, so I couldn’t df50f7ab57 even speak to him.9aa96770bee5afe5

‘What the c6ec95f155 hell is f67b2ec0d2 he thinking?! Where are 5ea4cb5b4d we even 891cd7f7df going?!’c73835e37f2c6e99

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 7f0b2f366e3708b4