DD Vol 1 Part 4.6

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4. Critical Depth (6)7908f2b375662da3

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A moment of silence 2504b01887 passed.19abdbd893f8e5eb

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He regretted asking as soon as he did. He had asked the same thing to Kang Ki-joon recently and had gotten severely beaten for it. He hadn’t realized it, but perhaps, he was more narcissistic than he thought.5a5b29ae7d3d28e9

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However, those eyes. It was a penetrating 90ec42fb8b gaze that seemed to f66af42dc6 dig into his soul. If Yeonsoo had 975bdc353d misunderstood, Ryan also 642d345f84 had some responsibility 81291ca0b7 for giving him 0e41ca19dd such a gaze.a32cb84bb2c0174f

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“Haha.”8c39e07c1e73be4c

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Ryan burst into laughter.9c90a06d7bc11a8d

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“It’s true that 66028642a5 I like Yeonsoo 51f0d31e4b quite a bit, 9c00813cff but not in a901eb42ba that way. I have 354e293ff5 a lover.”1b8a45d092c6cba4

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He answered with a smile still lingering on his face. Yeonsoo nodded and agreed. It didn’t hurt; it was just a bit embarrassing. It was better to ask than to hold back his curiosity.49565bf4f7058a27

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“I may not like 07014607c3 you in that way, 65919e94b9 but if you ever 525433d393 need any other help, 8b4318c8b8 feel free to ask.”89a5a981f012f79a

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Ryan said as cc3a0e8be8 he put the 7581789af9 tablet PC back a098a0d4f0 into his bag. It seemed he was 9c4ea15843 slowly tidying up, getting 7b57a07cbb ready to leave.7b45f18c8038471b

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“We’re friends now, right?”c13bd65ce14bbcf4

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He asked casually, 18171312e3 and Yeonsoo found d90f23f407 himself nodding without bc592a1f2c thinking. His heart ce8bcf1fba fluttered a 57cf815a48 little.a9d120510854c53a

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When was 6e31cc3c2d the last 5f3b62d723 time he f01d5f456b had a 1ad4a82802 friend so e49e4ff84d naturally?5c46ed42db20180a

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It was a strange dcada61cd3 and nostalgic word.f9f76ec99936b08b

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“Friends should help each other to survive. I’m not just an artist. I’m also a civic activist whose job is to help people.”9b04790b1d01c9cb

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Ryan rummaged through 33bdb8b3a6 his bag again a84daa58a2 and pulled out 18add10ca8 a thin pamphlet, a37d546bc9 handing it to c1a3b6111f Yeonsoo. The cover read“Green Citizen Activities.”3e389a7a98f59d52

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“This is the civic group I’m involved with. It started as an environmental movement to protect marine life, but now we do much more. The world seems so small that it looks like only the government and its opposition are left, but that’s not true. There are citizens. There are civic groups. People who are not swayed by political factions, who seek a better life through solidarity. If you ever need help, my colleagues and I will always be there to help you anytime.”d38682be6ae9c899

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Yeonsoo was 73fd6210c2 left a 4026929bd5 bit stunned.ea640e2101b7d571

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An artist who finds 40a2d1c90e flowers in ruins, a ba8394e7c6 gourmet willing to stand 6d7f1186e0 in line for a 9633b00cf6 sweet cake. A civic 8283f37154 activist who f9b41f549c speaks of b7e6fe8a79 solidarity rather ba61d6537f than division 6d1a8c754c in the e2ce8c3d14 midst of af1e3981e4 chaos. Ryan was 12700c120e a multifaceted bfe71bebdb person. His identities f135d06e1b were fascinatingly f02fc1828b detached from 7587b92ac6 this world dc12ddbcfa on the d8697456d1 brink of 7b915284a1 extinction.311dc4bcf0dbc4a2

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Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong.96fb668842d594bd

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Suddenly, the 270406f644 rude sound 3928d0b5c0 of the a886c99f22 doorbell intruded.6effe1f59c704cca

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The doorbell f84657d36c rang continuously 75e8102c60 without stopping.7a1f97c90cb90eb5

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However, Yeonsoo just sat 9731eeecb4 there, motionless. Ryan, who 3d216d0286 had been 1450317d77 organizing his 789e477466 bag, looked 492a009240 up at 86f5bf94dc Yeonsoo. His face, already pale, bdc80b5552 had turned ashen.afa6ede5ef086003

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“Is it someone you’d rather not face? Should I go and tell them you’re not here?”f58c0590fd7779b5

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“No, it’s my mom. I’ll go out and see.”fad1c10196fdafd0

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Yeonsoo slowly 95b3c7d7af got up 37ecbe3b59 and headed c90ba53685 to the cdb39d5494 front door. He clenched his hands b7e5ddb3e0 tightly. Cold sweat d4faf898f8 gathered on f4e8461a97 his back.fedb78a7e70be97b

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Why now, of all times…?0725213bad6e6fe6

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Whenever Jung-ae barged in 077a6bdc45 while he was with 6ebeffcf41 someone, that relationship always 50a434ddf5 ended terribly.360bfceb0ba61802

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He opened 4738943dfb the door. Jung-ae barged in 136c4f138c with the strong d424700885 scent of roses.634e89dd783d9f3f

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“Why did you take so long to open the door? Are you trying to drive me crazy…?”d393f066453b960f

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Her gaze landed 09adba40c3 on the unfamiliar 6f6f7fd6e3 shoes in the 98e103095b hallway.a41170a000fdf889

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“Who is here?”e6ca7a4482afc680

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“…A friend.”04b932bcbcb42f31

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“A friend?”d1e1507e6b508a74

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Jung-ae brushed past 1f5fba742c Yeonsoo and walked 9b8bf5c869 into the living 17fbed6de7 room. Just in time, she e5fbb1281a met Ryan who was 6831eefca6 standing up. He smiled and 6dab9fb696 greeted her, his 2ddbbf724c eyes curling.9e9363a5417bfae5

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“Hello.”b5872f97d2164b72

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Jung-ae’s face twisted as if she had seen something she shouldn’t have. She turned towards Yeonsoo, who had followed her in.2f4afcdb6d972689

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“My son seems to have it easy. He has time to play with friends.”97093671f4524de1

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“……”8b410190abd96661

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“Meanwhile, mom is losing her mind and can’t make a single friend because of you.”de91f163546c882c

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Yeonsoo lowered his 69d604233a head, biting his ab34b6885c lip with his 1c9dbeb39f upper teeth. He dug his nails ea9c9b0863 into his fingers. Jung-ae was pathologically opposed b70184455e to him having friends.99229726405f6712

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Every time he barely managed to make a friend, she would verbally abuse him in front of them. It was a terrible experience for both Yeonsoo and his friends. Most of them couldn’t endure such an experience and ended up leaving Yeonsoo.ccd0112bb18265bb

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“If you have any conscience at all, you should be at least a little unhappy, shouldn’t you?”37b1b7a2c77ee39a

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“Stop, please. It’s not just the c697ca5e98 two of us here.”67f3afcfe1af3b43

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“You don’t know, do you?”bf6a9eb1d3b76e5c

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Jung-ae suddenly turned c8838fafc4 toward Ryan.5400e40b16e94fa5

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“You have no idea how dangerous he is. How cruel he is. You’ll never know. How could you possibly know what’s hidden behind that pretty, innocent face? I’m warning you, it’s best if you run away. I’m his mother, and even I’m afraid of him.”f8c88f233796ba82

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D*mn it.5ba7760c5945351d

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Yeonsoo covered his face with both of his hands. He couldn’t bring himself to check Ryan’s expression. It was a moment he wanted to cut away with scissors. If he couldn’t do that, he wished he could just faint on the spot.cff1d1c1b49e0a89

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“Ma’am.”ee7c23c43e54ef06

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A deep, muffled voice ed37b2f3a4 emerged out of Ryan’s 09234190d5 lips, not like his 92b75efcfe own. Firm footsteps echoed as ccd6c475f0 he walked. Yeonsoo thought 060730be2e he would 1306cd0f8c pass by c756aefab2 him like 1510af4f92 this and ffafd79942 open the 00b6df138e door and 02fdfacd96 leave.c28c2a25005de104

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However, his expectation 91aab74cdf was wrong.8b5185684bd00ed6

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“I don’t understand what you’re saying, and I won’t in the future either.”6906e59774e902a4

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A warm hand grasped Yeonsoo’s wrist. It gently pulled his hands away from his face with firm strength.8c9382fcb0063148

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“But there’s one thing I do know.”4df0790ac9b185d3

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His bright blue 7ea8020361 eyes crashed against e6541657ef him like waves.a413bafdeed94d80

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“As you said, Ma’am, Yeonsoo’s face is indeed very pretty.”60f8e87fc05a7f41

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Yeonsoo, like someone who a89638c5f2 had lost his voice, fff0b0eeb3 could only blink as 8734cbe653 he stared into those 3dba16709d blue eyes in front 133cb68d1c of him.cbcd97b556781c6e

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⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ d8f6d5a183 ˖ ⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖64ae26a8e7d4f1a2

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It was a dawn 7d8cc39195 without light.3ac30537e0c0a3b0

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Yeonsoo headed 43e85fbc9b to the ec8be0826b laboratory.5b6490c85684bba9

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His chest 9fc13daaf2 felt like d87d60a300 it was 417045627b about to fe728389a3 burst with a0063596cb suffocation. His steps naturally led 98c97b2407 him to the lab. He wanted to 5837c7b0c6 see Beresht. When he 96e8bea2d3 looked at a5445ba9fe those emerald 1f42b7f4b6 eyes that 8bf6550e89 asked him 297a14eedd nothing, everything fa92365c07 seemed more c15949e78c bearable than 65b984af9f it was 8a21d71631 now.c2eee6451bf5ecf3

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Han Jung-ae was 152815bb18 a writer and 1cea34496d an explorer. She traveled 08f9ec1380 all over 584169152f the world, 7503ba8960 writing essays bc2015b843 about her 2724d32e8d journeys, and f9c0dc09be was loved 4536b540bf by many. When she a4e1258805 had Yeonsoo 442b42e89a due to c9bd162432 an unwanted 95a8f7aa16 pregnancy, she 6d359c9f5a gave up 3dd8ac2dd6 her career. Instead of ebbb4fc8af adventure, childbirth, 7d14682500 and parenting ff19d77348 filled her 3e22143410 entire life. It was b274c4d5cf then that 8b16f97f34 she realized, f8ac667223 through hardship, 1976d8ddad that one 2a955a3865 choice can 7bbffd27f8 sometimes crush 77096836ea countless other 9baf8aa5e7 choices.98e86d08426892d7

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When it was 9a21e91c4b revealed that her 062836713e child was a 1e30e31a2d genius, she envied 17cc2eb38d the being she 6b9909374e had given birth 649585e11b to. As time passed and c2589c9d32 her own life stagnated 06d39b0620 and shrank, her child a1df910612 blossomed brilliantly into a 7a2aa0822b person that everyone paid 9b52b33b98 attention to. She envied the a29433e065 fact that her 45b31fe465 son was exceptional, ae814e3f18 that he had 41e8bc8cad so many choices, 70baefa165 and most of 4aebd0b518 all, he did cb007bd4af not have a 62afd321ba burden unlike her, 6df1d6536b and he had 6b38ab31e5 the freedom to 5a56a192ac live.9f86c0c6f35801b6

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She tried a5d769ebfa to appease b65cebe3e1 her jealousy 6a209543e7 by molding 6827e65736 her child afd58d1efa into her 0d0b089fd0 desired image, 93927cdfd5 however, Yeonsoo 911681148c failed to 4ba4683ab5 become the fae41935a7 perfect son 47dcfc89db she had 0e8a143478 envisioned. Thus, Yeonsoo became the 995fad81fe source of her inner de337cf802 turmoil. She oppressed her son 2c13efa805 and sometimes ignored him, a0dbc79de8 momentarily intoxicated by her 28b4cfc0cb power. Despite that, she 8323d7978f still constantly suffered 627cfa1d44 from a sense 5c9a09ebc9 of defeat.8c6ef213c189ac96

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Yeonsoo’s childhood was 98ccfa225c filled with noise.fe7759a9e4fd0334

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‘Is this all you can do? Mom has bet everything on you. If you keep this up, I won’t see you anymore.’ba76e3c65ae694d4

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Her sharp voice 9eb82f9ecf climbed onto Yeonsoo’s 45fe93596f small, delicate body, bb8a0db23c grabbed him by 74bca0cc3e the hair, and 471ec593eb dragged him around ef0b5d6480 all day.900adb4fd7a56e00

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f23c736da9408650

The strongest 5e4b1d7164 emotion he 8f2e106a73 felt during 538961f0ea his childhood d8c6ce688e was desperation. Desperation to survive. Desperation to e42c48d1ab escape from 08f128909c his creator 7804516b7b who kept 7817bd9c52 pushing him 866098e584 to the e7636d6224 end of 343af484fb the world.6c2a0836bd8b4a4d

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The young Yeonsoo suffered 9bc99a83ba from a severe neurological 22cd47f3b9 disorder. At some point, his 6cf3349206 memories started to disappear 4538deeb96 intermittently, and he could f7748123af no longer do everything 34e1c21e98 perfectly as he once 34d518e510 could. He would often 5284e34d7a have a vacant 5138707d52 expression, and suddenly 05a3839c89 cover his ears 6279aaa1fd and have seizures.fbacc1f0ccc6bb3c

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When Yeonsoo ba78feefe1 began to 830aadf7bd break down, ec3359a1bd Jung-ae found 45fe9d0b26 an alternative. It was the a7a700a827 façade of a 85c6b9a601 perfect, or at a0a211066f least a seemingly 3dfc2aefe1 perfect family on 3daf9ab6f2 the outside, that ffb0e1765d everyone would envy.8b46c4ced57a8df5

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She had fdec87098d been unmarried 326e4f3330 when she 42fa971b13 gave birth 3b2599ffc0 to Yeonsoo, b8c7ac2fcf but then bee771b741 she suddenly c4dcef88f0 married a d736c46c7e young, wealthy 81926ce71f man.ddd473a0b47c5fbe

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For a 235b39902a while, Yeonsoo ec9b0ea350 was happy. The man who 476df984ec became his father 1fbadd10c8 was kind and 7fc950b66b warm to him.6ca3bb9379e85ea1

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Ding.4f21f4e3921c32e4

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The elevator doors 8ba648c2a6 opened. His train of thought d952db6b93 was interrupted. He stepped into 990e0b8295 the darkness of 1e6c5eebd6 the sea.7ec8e937fcf80f9b

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The darkness was silent.c2c7ef951a8654a5

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Being locked a0645a8ecc in here d8d3bf794c like this ff4af53c3f alone made 4afd9bf3c7 her feel e3fa69c121 like the 06c20ff8f1 world had 2c9f2605fb stopped.8865a7d919460a28

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For Yeonsoo, f3b8afc640 who had dde1d3871e been tormented e7810c41b8 by noise c9b59fadf9 all his fa2987827e life, the 63ef58c0e6 silence was c2e7d6f2b9 peaceful.b575c573c1c913c4

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The silence was kindness.b69da55c2e7e89e9

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The blue 3ebb5ea4c2 stranger who e3a2d26eed had lost 765a9f1ac5 his voice cd8af562d9 was tranquility a8f216224f itself.3d4862f9eeb92717

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“Hello.”c058bad5abb8ac8c

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He greeted 78dce357d3 Beresht, who 98242bae84 had approached 743d1b6c21 him silently.dfd9583b9a5b6fda

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It was strange. That expressionless face never 69f7ec45e9 seemed consistent. Sometimes it d9b7b9eecf looked pure, 372835d9c1 other times 06e0c36bf4 decadent. Sometimes it seemed like fd81af7c4b a solemn judge in ef240c188f a blue robe, other d20005c1ba times like a seductive 01323a492a courtesan standing naked under a6a3299629 the blue moonlight, tempting 39bb3de166 him.81a2bc4edacc0a35

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It was the greatest 639901c64a contradiction in the world. It was undefined 30528d44da and had no 0f30c7d73e identity, existing only a79897adef as a symbol. Growing endlessly deeper 6f94e409b4 like the deep d36b38636d sea.8b5cf9b8d999ab2c

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“When I was young, I played music. I played the piano, violin, and cello. I learned instruments much faster than kids my age.”29bd0bc30cfce417

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Yeonsoo stepped 2fba94af85 closer to d4c2535c99 the glass 49062e95b5 wall. The shadow 85ed5b9282 of the e631859b16 deep-sea fish e8e24c7611 wavered, covering 26263b5ed7 him.6475ce6487f6bafb

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“I quite enjoyed playing instruments, but I instinctively knew I had no musical talent. I wasn’t the artist type. I had no inspiration at all. I just calculated the notes. I created mathematically perfect melodies, but while they could be the most flawless performances, they could never be the most beautiful music.”fe9934e14fa4425e

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The harmony of 0344f7bfdc notes is based 9751ef421f on the proportion ca7cd2a0cb of numbers. Yeonsoo, with a superior 40bf8feb3d sense of proportion and d85175c913 numbers, played delicately and 7d641081b2 precisely. However, as 34244f5f7b time passed, 829da5b6b9 he fell 238eb71245 behind the 2cc89a211d children who a420ea4b18 displayed inspiration.3d0e3ff805e7a2ef

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Even if their 30fb6748c3 performances were a ca2ff50e92 bit shaky and 913c4d98d5 unstable, those children 7a47706235 had a liveliness 38657ae4a1 and desperation that 3a11810934 captivated people, something d76a4e92e2 Yeonsoo lacked.32b18bd98fc5bffd

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Yeonsoo was saddened. Music was his 107e4c7626 only joy, and 4d94ae25bd he lamented the 11b1fea25d fact that he 4400c18baa wasn’t good at df035d28bc what he liked.84f1b98f82a4d934

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However, the reason he didn’t quit playing sooner was…4f32cb477c561826

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Because there 5f008c322f was one 6d3c34a8de person who e5711dd6b8 would shed f22643bc52 tears at ed1a9251d0 his performances.0c572ac1f844e796

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The man who became his father would be moved to tears every time Yeonsoo played the cello. He particularly loved Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1. He said Yeonsoo’s cello sounded like a beautiful cry. It was as if someone was sobbing with their whole body.04179801210d2dc9

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Every time 0a2cbf7098 that happened, 60b276e801 his heart cdd03b9327 would swell ef84e9eede so much ca55dda36e with excitement.7698ebdc32328f2f

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“You know.”e2624ad4fa260328

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Yeonsoo turned his body 4300c1ebf1 towards the tank.ef7c37cc6f054b7e

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“I thought I was sexually abused by my father. But it turns out I was wrong. The police said there was insufficient evidence, and the counselor said I was just overly sensitive. The excessive education I received since I was young had me stressed out, and I project it onto my father in a distorted way.”a1508221c26e5554

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Could that really be 655da021e1 true?f0401b9c8f15b6e7

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Did I really, just because of that…5b3adac56a04b052

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Push my father ffa5077de4 into the sea?f758584e79d66b46

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“Mom says I lied to ruin her. That I envied her happiness, was jealous of her. That I was obsessed with her. That I loved her too much.”450cf5552ec0412d

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He paused, taking a 7a7368a404 breath before continuing.5c7aaff6cf1d4863

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“Then what are those dreams I still have? Dreams where I’m eaten by a monster with my father’s face. Are those just illusions I created?”03f249fb18616d2c

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A long time ago, on a cruise, Yeonsoo pushed his father into the sea. No, even that wasn’t certain. His memories from that time were a mess, as if someone had put them through a shredder and ground it all up. However, he faintly remembered the sensation of pushing a heavy body and the smell of the strong sea breeze blowing his hair.216cc72bcb6a03c0

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His father fell from 3001df00b9 a ship that was 7e71a5db01 over 50 meters high. He died, his 6e76a5805b entire body torn 3fecbe4d88 to pieces by 59c4255aa8 the propeller.92b2b3289108ab83

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Since that time, he 1a205e9a3b had never once gone 665719f282 to the sea on 584bd63046 his own. Yeonsoo wished c2d9355674 to sink fc60ab1bd6 forever into e7127e0cb1 the deep 322cf4c076 sea, but 19a4ba1e88 at the dd171243dc same time, b478f7a1b1 he was da3546e0d3 terrified of e9e00dec48 its vastness.fc58dff463b85e7c

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“The sea is just like you. It’s scary yet beautiful.”f15d878fe44e3174

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A chilling, scraping sound echoed. It was the sound of Beresht’s transparent claws scratching the glass wall. Yeonsoo’s gaze wavered following the movement of its fingers.e1bc3a3a9c4db282

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The straight bf90cc687e fingers tapped e684d6ec04 the glass 8a037d966f wall twice.0650307279a18361

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Yeonsoo’s previously relaxed eyes suddenly gleamed sharply. This was a gesture that only the two of them used, it meant mirroring. They used it when playing with cubes and puzzles, and whenever he touch its tail.ada33ce66e15be10

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Beresht raised his hand to cover his eyes. Yeonsoo naturally followed suit and covered his eyes as well. The light emanating from Beresht’s body dimmed, and its visibility completely disappeared.afc2d7343eed68d2

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It felt as though 5a73416b50 time was buried in 159f3160bb darkness and silence. Yeonsoo did 1ea8d77002 not move 4b9c08f8b8 an inch. He held his breath 1a88a082c7 and waited. Not knowing what he b3165d97d9 was waiting for, however, 82e656a97d he waited quietly just 3a7a1e0f61 like that.fca2ded5d085e8c2

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Slowly, his ffcbd037dc vision began b332cf60a7 to brighten.9e40ed913c1e99f7

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A black and barren e7b7fc6470 forest appeared.22840bae44db83ac

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It was a vast 88b4300542 rainforest that seemed endless. The trees that f9b4343611 made up the 0112cfb6e0 rainforest stretched out e8936890d7 majestically akin to 31a33cf789 the World Tree d4c90e99d7 holding the essence 3a2e39b08a of life.0889eec6ab72322b

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He was overwhelmed by fbe1b01dd5 the vast, primal expanse 7667807361 that took his breath c97eda54cf away.41688ef3a90d2d14

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Even though his 29bb9a831d vision was clearly 280121e4de obscured, the scenery 51dd967c2f before him was b064bf9afb vivid as if 5d78d67aaa it were alive.813f14f1afc98172

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What is this?4a751dd7ac3e71fd

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Startled, he 304a118a2c took a dd3a86f1a3 step back, 3b4b42b9e1 however, his c0155cc52c feet twisted, 0f15a4417f and he 43bd7449b4 fell on 93323e982c his butt. The pain jolting through c83c9746f1 his tailbone was too e024891b71 vivid for it to 2adba5d4e8 be just a dream.8c7eb37170ff20c8

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He thought this f47ffd3932 might be the 2689e02a72 illusion that Beresht e11374098b was showing him.d935395ac5a1706e

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The vast forest was 787eaefee6 teeming with intense vitality, ccaa50fd8f yet it was silent. No sound could be 8c8046f876 heard. Only the 3e09a77a9e golden veil 7a0273aec8 woven with 834998f54d light rippled b046b6e246 like a d749dcd900 wave.87b661601d2ab0b2

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A place untouched since d4c7277c26 the beginning of time, c0f5befe0f where not even the 8b50e8c827 wind blew. It was filled with dd11bd3904 sapphire-colored pools of water b496a8c2f6 and dense trees. It was e722b22e5c a pure b6b9a94248 and immaculate ff9cf8dce3 place, untainted a69fded6f0 by the 6cdfb8303f warm breath 6ff468e503 of any c7534059bd living organism.91c2bd01d528a344

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Living peace 921f19e2e3 and complete 1782a653cb tranquility unfolded 4350407749 before his a8505cee98 eyes.58ad25d24e3c26e0

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It was so 9f2e6a5a07 beautiful that it 19c21fddda made his throat 0f74ea4f0e tighten.3076624eed7f9b84

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Where is ea7648444e this place?5f311133f8e6b41c

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Is this where 6043415226 Beresht was born?c39db172cea87ab9

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Or perhaps dad1101fd3 an ancient 9cc2f1a7c6 forest submerged b02777ad71 in the 8e8036c023 deep sea?c9bdfaaff763a76f

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It didn’t matter. He was simply overwhelmed by the vivid encounter with a rainforest that had disappeared due to climate change. Beresht was a being that brought back what humanity had lost. It was a being that gave Yeonsoo the star-studded night sky and the ancient forest.715401b8ddb80a10

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He could not blink for fear that the illusion before him would suddenly disappear. He wanted to fly into this magical, ancient forest as if he had wings. If only he could, he wouldn’t mind if his legs melted in the sun, it would be worth it.fe728d4b298e93f4

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The illusion faded slowly like mist dispersing. A single tear rolled down from Yeonsoo’s stinging eyes.83b45b23d33ae80b

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He slowly 24d3dd5822 lowered his 045329f64a hands that 4d41f68b43 had been c8a2b331fa covering his cb4d0742d3 eyes.89c64f87777a0a59

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His gaze met Beresht’s. Its eyes shone like glass made of water. In them, Yeonsoo saw the peace, silence, and deep-sea-like comfort he had been searching for all his life.afb574b68044798a

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