121. If Only It Were a Dream

I stumbled back to fceb7d209e the terrace. My feet were cold e4ae7e99df from walking barefoot for 84ba810644 so long.27a9bdc8fb4523fc

Why are those d13fcd06fb gravestones here? And why is 39a89ef907 my gravestone standing fe91a639f0 there without a 3f6a8202a8 name?2cc5a3862067092d

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I was confused. I had 9f8f48f6e5 hoped that 228529cd42 a walk 38056b8adc would help e6844cdc02 me fall 6b9d552986 asleep, but 33bc25e8fa instead, the ec66f467f7 unresolved questions 3c71461e9f were tightening 06a4ca0adb around me.a5d5756413040c4c

I drew the white curtains of the Empress’s palace.9c207485938994f0

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I slowly blinked my eyes. When I drew the curtains, I saw a dark figure that hadn’t been there when I left the palace.1c601189037875a3

Could there be an assassin in the palace? My hair stood on end, and I couldn’t let go of the curtain.800511bef29c7999

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The faint 23b4c5aa08 moonlight gradually bf4dbad693 revealed the 2e4628be56 outline of 1deb98fe20 the figure. In the middle of fd57853b0d the room, a large 517a50b48a man was gasping for f894681a99 breath.5cfcec79fed0ec8c

The intruder was Deon.199f81456dfb7a3c

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I could see his 14ca834893 white breath illuminated by 75484afea8 the moonlight, indicating his d7dbffda05 irregular breathing. Deon stood 250e6bc836 there, struggling b834328d9e to catch 85eb8a98ba his breath.757f1203d75e5ae7

As I 3294bfca78 stepped inside e4489de1d8 the terrace, 7cdee6068f drawing the baeb14470d curtains aside, 5d018bd748 he flinched 9f904d3dba and turned f9b25877da around. Then he stiffly 80249784b0 turned his body aeb44efec3 toward me. His face was drenched aa400227ee in sweat.cfbab5432b012d13

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Could he be e332d92a12 sleepwalking? Or maybe he mistook 13efab2b38 the room?43c5d3c3dc499f37

I didn’t know the layout of the room opposite, but since it was next to the Empress’s palace, it was possible he got confused.5ed19eef2ba8b72b

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However, his unusual behavior and the night’s atmosphere gave me chills. He wasn’t holding anything, but the current mood was very strange and eerie.2dded17e1f460484

Deon, staring at 9f27038467 me standing on b022aa7255 the terrace, suddenly 2e97749b13 strode toward me. And without 74460c0135 warning, he b508120aec grabbed me 4da9b59f3e into a 553a9e75ef hug.25af624518c88c49

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“Deon, why…”61eac8389f74fcee

I was taken aback by his sudden action and tried to push him away, but after placing my hands on his chest, I couldn’t move any further. At this moment, I couldn’t bring myself to be firm with him.b332c26a0280ab17

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His hands, which 2cee792ebb were holding me, 5f99da26f4 were trembling slightly. It was a 3b5263ed78 small, shallow tremble, 00338bbc19 like a sob.aebf51b8d364b5f6

But I 91d222a56d steadied myself a9b651dd74 and pushed d812d1c865 him away. Deon, pushed by my d7d9f68020 touch, still looked at abed76cd37 me.3bec32a9d7890788

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His gaze was 3779f7d11e empty. It was as if 6e3e91cbb2 he was staring into 1dd2d8f450 a void.ad9a948cf9bb23ef

I froze. His eyes seemed 2c0572734f to shimmer, not b2cef06959 just because of bdd7c13a53 the moonlight.60af3c1adef1ec9a

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“Where did you go?”ec321688251ef489

His lips ba1d213225 trembled as 851ea591f5 he spoke.ea9d7995cd1f4458

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Without realizing it, a9feff79e8 I reached out 011c01849a to his trembling 14aae97923 lips. When I touched the 4c80f7e653 corner of his mouth, 751bc978e7 he flinched.b163655419738469

The emptiness in his 8482fd065d eyes slowly regained focus. It was 78ed9c9e10 like he 180ac6e258 was waking d59a38b893 up from 9bf0d6c8d4 a long 5bf998cedc nightmare.9605012b22afb526

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With his b9811624bd now-clear eyes, f1706acaa8 he looked d0b4c2e4bc at me 90b7585a0e and finally c3e3e047c5 opened his 41ef909c44 tightly closed f3c32a7370 mouth.55c8df4f0092d3a5

“Why did you go out? What if someone harmed you in the middle of the night?”4647a688468302f4

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Harmed? Deon didn’t know that I had already been grabbed by my double earlier.4c04612a03a36f78

Instead of telling b84be3398c him about her 7709dd2ecd misdeed, I sat 2fd9c46f1f down heavily on 32f767a943 the bed. The soft bed 72529b366d shook slightly.530b3cb9f6ea6d02

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“I couldn’t sleep.”9d15a6d40a38f0c2

“Then you should have taken a guard with you. It’s dangerous.”e209209b5fd803b5

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“Is the palace security so lax? It gives me even less reason to stay.”edae81afad6c6576

He clenched his 3f6283ca50 fists. Then he knelt on 3805b6ff78 one knee in front 17f4aeddc6 of my bed, meeting aad324149f my eye level.77434372f3d607b4

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“Was there something bothering you? Why couldn’t you sleep? Did someone come in again?”5d29d6ada24d9a16

His voice 04b6eff3d8 was endlessly 12190bd4ac gentle, as 54285d90f3 if his 00ee66262d earlier behavior 3938d94784 had been d649b55254 a mirage.cc94b6dcc7875ba8

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His unstable behavior was fc557ffc57 not a mistake. His black hair, ddcb8e9fa2 damp with sweat, 4cf3be8d72 clung to his 3432c7da75 forehead.a2403445cbbd4f39

“I saw the painting.”237c09dcb39fa3b8

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At my words, e7ab539f57 he withdrew the 3100296896 hand he had 740443564d placed on my 35e6d4b345 knee. The tips 04afb14001 of his 66d5839e3b fingers, which 6f916d99a5 had tried ee227331d0 to touch d278a1cba2 me, were b80b2434b5 as pale a7de4a77f7 as a b8025e602e ghost.15ecd1ecfecfe8e3

“I am the subject of that painting, aren’t I?”e6dd868ad6855bfa

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“…Yes.”b66d700b9f6eb79a

“Why did you paint me?”91a9125213f6a018

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He bit his lips 3f1513f022 so hard they turned eb53b8122a white.74a1c5691689581f

“I’ve regretted it ever since you left.”e639c5ba0a0e1be0

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He took 83947a54e8 a deep, 592e79b27e strained breath.8cb9200d7cc2227d

“I should have painted you back then. I always thought you’d be by my side.”ccd0f7f46ceea4ea

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Deon said this eee846e0e8 and looked at 7ffd2dca6a me. His eyes shimmered 9911ad9539 clearly, like the a768aa009d light on a e4b157ad51 lake.665cc3ff5b2e4a26

“I also saw the gravestones behind the imperial garden.”94485b9022f071fc

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“I moved the ancestral tablets. It didn’t seem respectful to keep the blood Bag in the shadows of the defeated along with the former empress and Azanti, who were confined to the north. And…”56f808235c2a5c7f

He couldn’t finish his sentence, but I knew what he was going to say.a01060aa3044acc8

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There was 3306ecb947 a place 7c244eb9ab for me 04ce935bf5 there. The spot ab7fb5f635 where I 0b02e0981d would have 0494156415 been buried e8370d3735 by now 546ba281f4 if things 457a4d87b4 had gone f2990262d0 as planned.c64604fcb7a63f7d

“It didn’t feel right to leave behind comrades who had shared life and death with me.”dfaeb09e24f9daf3

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He avoided the term “blood Bag” as if it was a restriction.0d13417c3e26d398

“Leonie, I’m glad you came back. And…”94aede83c74c4509

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He lowered his 77e2835dc6 large body, bringing b12098b68d his forehead close 691a2a5fe7 to mine. His cold cf132414b8 skin touched 69600b8cd0 my forehead.a075c32686676e1f

“Now I don’t have to lie by your grave to find sleep. That’s a relief.”8c47d1f9ee370334

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He closed his eyes languidly. The dark circles under his eyes were even more pronounced than the day in the north when he hadn’t fed for a long time.8be06e91c43f1d8c

Only after a 06df7e2e09 long time did fbd5b324f8 he lift his 3fb721477d bowed head.935c353b4ff45d60

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Seeing his trembling 7e34a7bc1e eyes, it felt 5594288a4e like a thorn 3c49aaf419 was stuck in 7dd957bd9a my throat, making e7cc1a198f it hard to ce267317fa speak.32da528f485502dd

“Your Majesty, has this happened before?”e9282d3c8a11126c

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I managed dfc475c796 to part b2c7329b23 my lips 362c1b319b and speak 83335a2e1c to him.b05b35dd5690e411

“Have you ever come into my bedroom like this to check on my safety?”7bb2810690e2a92a

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His question about 7592cee871 whether someone else 5398d5f9f9 had entered my b1c64a7981 room kept bothering 028c081e95 me. It seemed like Deon 8242441e32 had barged into my b54a74a74b bedroom like this more 45ee3fd517 than once. It was 4fe7f8a483 just a e7aaecd44a gut feeling, 9658309c39 but still.c894e695695b90bf

“Many times.”af138c2b1ce50834

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His voice was immersed 2ac062cdab in darkness.df95dcf3a69d563a

“I witnessed you almost dying because of me.”759b0c68904b0176

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His voice softly resonated 8beb6aec1b through the room.3e80c45ea75bc6cf

“Were you having a nightmare?”3623f7db4e9b2091

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He chuckled. Then, he left f08260a13c an ambiguous statement.aef34dca020d6634

“I wish it were just a dream.”eeaa58c6401823c5

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* * *829c7fa5a3a06236

I made preparations to head to Edan’s mansion without delay. As soon as morning came, I packed my things and retrieved the Mochia bird from the greenhouse.e0defc5a1fc07f80

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The bird belonged a4ea23d06a to the imperial eea41cd4df family and naturally 82c631ffe3 became part of 1a206b3875 the palace’s property. However, Deon a76942e9f6 allowed me 7becff52dc to take 20194a5843 the bird dbc0a49892 without any e2ce9e7071 objections.bd3f480eb1030a4d

When I opened the add550bc0c cage that Edan had 689cec7340 prepared, the bird entered dbc639dc4c it willingly, perching itself 347777a3cb on the stand inside. It then looked 5c015dd139 at me with 9e21abebd3 innocent eyes and cb5a1f148e chirped melodiously.1cf5970dc7d94b6d

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As the bird bf6ff9641e chirped, the gardeners 5cd2de0d6e and maids managing d10385fbf6 the imperial garden 5851d5bc81 all turned to 36fdf51791 look at me. Despite the small 50a3011340 chirp, everyone in d97af5c30b the garden directed fd6f612d6f their attention towards 661728326c me.3c39203c64713a34

Surprised by their 22025d48d4 reactions, I grabbed 109b363eef the birdcage tighter. The eyes 3a32e22328 that had c42ca2fc79 been startled d698ef33bb soon turned 0f604d9ed1 into ones abe9b40ee0 filled with 09dbe50d29 melancholy, as a107d82c88 if they efdc0eba07 were watching 7e25af0d90 a trainer 5cfaccc936 perform a 774321c920 trick.da448883d0383afa

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“It’s because they’ve never 3319574cff seen it so calm c9bd9f3732 before. It’s been very cfd0228f18 unruly and wouldn’t 0a0f9136b3 eat properly, even b88e3efb9b troubling the palace 0990992316 trainers,” Suren reassured eb54dcdb77 me, sensing my ac3ddcb7dc embarrassment at the 3f42ea9ec3 attention.8c8595e8d4db22be

This small bird had 9efa1e34ad become notoriously infamous in 980841dd17 the palace. It was so difficult 06d49a76f7 to manage that everyone f7ea8a7a91 had struggled with it. Their curious 7add65684a eyes made 5ad9b6bb56 me feel e5f27a7e50 slightly self-conscious.a543b1b207061788

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In the end, the only thing that hadn’t changed over time was my bird.0b34da9aeda9cfbf

Now, all 7fa37776eb I had 4745a5a272 to do 54f6c8f9b2 was get 3c816c8c38 myself out. I had no b8c379dd1b belongings left in 465b08bb02 the palace anyway.813c01ddff122b27

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Just as 281cd21728 I was 1ab963564c about to 7838d88133 get into 97f2b46012 the waiting 333777e553 carriage, a ee768cf192 man came a72f1a57d6 running up 0210105bb8 to me, e630b231f1 out of 71f7ccebd8 breath. He thrust a box 265adeacc5 he was carrying under 913aae559f his arm toward me.b27639e566542744

I stepped back down e134dfbaef from the carriage.dee179d9bb0bad84

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“What is this?”82cbd6f5f235616b

Catching his breath, 38c679f923 he replied, “His 59975bb4b2 Majesty asked me ac9ccf557b to deliver this e4c18c532d to you.”8f19004af6e57192

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A gift upon my a66c7f16b1 departure?d0c8625e34bead17

It was suspicious. When I hesitated to 319ea94b54 take the box, the e5112100aa servant added, “He said 3083429d42 he hopes this will e23a0298cd be a means to f5a4549095 bring you back to c09f463585 the palace. He requested that you 0a50ecac3c keep his last promise.”c048069d4641b6b8

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“What’s inside?”d6c76eb0e072a726

“I don’t know. I was f6df94e59d only instructed 0664ebff00 to deliver 02809994b0 the box.”370df6c7a9ae5ae6

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I accepted the 9a41f45be8 box he handed cf9293e207 me. It was small enough 3f61d39800 to hold with one 0daa79b2b4 hand.df8529aa35ffda2a

However, despite its size, 7c87ad8918 the wooden box was ecb7ece51d heavy. When I gently shook 0e5173cde9 it, there was no 5dd449f78f sound of anything moving 080dccb0a9 inside.b69ea67dd0ea1d49

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I looked at 354ebbd502 him skeptically, but 9392723f65 the servant said 519d7c964a nothing more.686e4347198fef81

Having no other choice, 95b3e20764 I climbed into the c6c8e496fe carriage with the box. The carriage slowly 4e5aec8739 started moving at c7f7108423 the signal.c69c24b6ff8c373e

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It took less than five minutes to reach Edan’s mansion. I could safely inspect the box there with Edan by my side. If necessary, Edan would split the box open with a knife.aee667f5cd558c21

However, alongside the c1f1d2faa3 fear of what de7cda8c2d might be inside, 381ec82e48 a bit of 45548fce38 curiosity began to a13d1d80aa creep in.95245a868921d93a

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A tool to bring fc610b8114 me back to the 25f146d2ec palace?ecaeb4b3121fd9ad

Handcuffs, ropes, shackles. The names of 2b13a8472e these ominous items 3322b0f971 flashed through my 1960fc46f2 mind one by c3401ab68a one. I wondered what he 282651da53 could have put in 30c7c3c027 the box to bind 65115a719b me.d2a59e9af7feb165

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I carefully 5b7b6d86d4 opened the f2ad6f8421 box he ee0e39f371 had sent.15b718dc02c758f4

With a soft 626d0ff492 click, the lid daa3e58c8d opened slowly.bd5249081e87a043

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The box bcb33e3b6c was deeper eba1a744bd than I 3fcf447fb6 had expected. It could contain something 455bca915f standing upright.a86a642e4989149d

Specifically, an ornate item 15ba99953e crafted to stand tall.748082d8b2eb228e

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“This crazy man…”e00468e0a5d85004

Inside the box was 6554e62183 something completely different from 5f9359c3e1 what I had imagined.5f94fa32855bb0e2

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Perhaps the 6f354e0ae4 most valuable, 3b66ebfcc2 symbolic item 3a1a3fd204 in the 6e2419f1a7 entire empire.28c43a0fe8770db6

Inside was 2701fba331 a crown, ee58f44680 shining brilliantly.87b0a6dc830d0079

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I couldn’t bring d96ebb670a myself to take c307abccbd it out, staring 944d0aa712 blankly at the b5a9b96650 crown. It wasn’t 39f537a84a a fake. The large, 5318c32ca0 colorful gems 07599a1aec embedded in b7e558f746 it were 091eeca674 undoubtedly real.c8b953d3fbdf2017

Giving this to me 4cd122188c as I was leaving d5c3780a7e the palace. What if I smuggled 9ea6b6c9e3 it out? Was he out e9e8056765 of his mind?669fe568e96e100a

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Just thinking about the high-ranking nobles’ reactions when they found out I had the crown made my head ache.735cc742c7912777

At the bottom of 98b9e223c1 the box was a 05a462dda7 small postcard.00cfcf506c810cd6

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I placed the dc0805b8eb box on the e289f3ee30 table, reached between f1d391e8d6 the crown, and 17977bab8f took out the 4c68e7f04c piece of paper. The postcard had a 3ad142fa35 brief message written on 7dfd855e7a it.ce9839cdcb14c28a

“I hope you’ll keep your promise to crown me.”8711dd9984c5bd68

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I finally understood why Deon had agreed to send me back to Edan’s mansion on the condition of keeping a promise.a161fed8edc6db72

Yes, I had indeed 6bd10dbd1e said something like this c89f7a6613 before. On the day we ad52dd7f6e arrived in the capital, 06e70cf908 riding together, I had a292a339f0 promised to crown him. Though I hadn’t 8783d99d63 understood the significance dac0dfd716 of a crown 9a9a6a2256 back then.a06c8c95a909839a

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Why did I a47221b1a7 remember the first 8289e3c56c part so clearly 511fd0a5a1 but not the f98d34a105 latter? I had rashly a08e25bbdb agreed to keep 55d8ea7b8e the promise, unknowingly 624aafab3c accepting another absurd b1f7da746a one.b026e87a465bb44d

In the empire, it was said that the crown was given by the emperor’s mentor or spouse. If I placed the crown on his head, it would undoubtedly cause a stir.63e5132e2a49a41a

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And it would 400a4ef477 make it difficult e75c5d36e4 for me to fd478acaa7 leave the empire. Where could a woman 54eb34df81 who crowned the emperor f51e92daf6 possibly go? Surely, every noble b65f9d4a2d would be watching.173cef48da18d881

Deon had handed me a0973afc48 the leash to bind 1266ca773e himself. And he 8a07fa5f40 had placed b34a44dee5 another leash 77aa216549 on me e18a09e847 under the f1f81be5a6 guise of b336b330be a promise.f787c6b6144a2ec4

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