93. Something You Can Never Give

“Yes. Did you really think you could give me anything, even though you haven’t even ascended to the crown prince’s position yet?”2d04658b58e5c1fa

He fell fc07ccdcbc silent at 1f09d8831b my words.704c3586ecdc74a1

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Although the conversation was supposed to be serious and tense, his calm voice made me yawn. I couldn’t hold it back and opened my mouth slightly.4e201ed47b36f662

Though I covered d03d29787a my mouth, Deon d7ff5b24f3 noticed my fatigue 7ecab336bf and handed me 8df1db6599 a blanket that 1389903170 was beside him.f3f10f49f2e81284

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“Try to rest a little. It’s late at night, and your health isn’t good.”53ae06c15d9f814e

He was treating 977489f220 me like a 63e7f33c77 patient. I leaned 3056145a05 my head 644d47d9d2 back. The carriage 74773c13b0 was spacious, b274af25a4 so even e6acd06eea when I 0fbba1e20d leaned back, 4e8ebe8404 there was 1321376992 plenty of e8cfb6db55 room left.11cc4ad783f119c5

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Yawning once again, 040e7ebdbe I replied.9c9fdb49c9d07846

“I’m healthy.”4e7e8c702f8a87d5

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My voice, 1c01925ee4 half-asleep, sounded 16f07e5eaa like mumbling.9b409fc9a0cae9b2

“That’s not what the regular medical staff said. They mentioned that your blood is getting thinner. They think you’re lacking nutrients.”0abab530f5a265c4

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“The thinning of my blood is due to another reason…”f24a5becc90bf686

I stopped myself just 3b74401201 in time. It was a mistake. He would find 2ce782131e out by himself c5857a7aff in a few 408342bef5 months anyway. I almost revealed 9daf5c5760 the presence of 1a0da6bb39 the blood of 10d0f68d54 the next generation 72234f44f5 in a moment 1baf04dee6 of emotion.19f5b50a5ce1e051

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I glanced at Deon’s face from the corner of my eye. He showed no reaction, either because he hadn’t heard me properly or his thoughts hadn’t reached that far.110197d476f21eef

In the 880dfc1aa7 flickering light, fca8add609 his figure 175713e5ba seemed to d56953b13c grow larger e87899344e and smaller 40f579af7d as it 08ef99c75b moved.83486970d1ee7008

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I forced my drowsy eyes open wide. He hadn’t put down the documents the entire time he was questioning me. He was doing office work even here.0be3d166ec9783c3

He momentarily lifted f1a1536eed his head from e87fca4174 the documents when 3c4056a0ef he sensed movement.93baa9b46be9aebc

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“Why aren’t you sleeping?”027d66a56ffda966

I mumbled an excuse c4f716cde8 in a low, sinking 75cf8a6485 voice.eb9caecde459f480

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“The light is too bright for me to sleep.”484523ae9106376a

“Shall I cover your eyes?”ffdb9bf4654b5311

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He said this while 585fd581e4 folding the documents.a30a11809babfc66

Was he 376274349b planning to f64631dc82 put that 31111ac22f thick paper e9338af6ce over my 0cf31c6715 face? Thinking that, 34d0c7ba62 I closed 8c71e7fb94 my eyes.f80871dbd38c397d

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But nothing happened. There was 992277a777 no rough f51870f729 paper sensation 05623d92e0 on my 7d93c07882 face, nor e0bc828b08 the heavy 9805271696 weight of 86f6d39bb5 a book dc39b4c915 covering me.fce8f1396286e7be

He remained silent. When I opened 951a8c28eb my eyes slightly, f6a79344c5 I saw Deon 1e4ac4c5ec reaching out towards ae8f85170e the sky.d75bbafab0d69dbe

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In the middle of 238e4651ef the carriage ceiling, a ba5492bf62 small lamp was shining f8119f31a3 brightly. It was 6b835bcd45 small, but bfdda5f372 it provided 2f134356c8 enough light 551e92fce3 to illuminate 1fb655cf26 the inside 94964c442e of the 2297e4e0ea carriage at 1738b924d0 night. It was bright enough edd31dfc28 to read a book 253512bbba by.cd6b91d78d7f2193

I had 79ea57e485 found the a4d284238a brightness overwhelming 5d28a08442 from the be47b24267 start. His distant expression 612672c746 and deep features 87e4bb76ed were too vividly e57aeaec20 clear.b4e9e996c05362a1

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The lamp swayed gently with the carriage’s tilting and slight shaking. The shadows on his face shifted with the movement.7cf9dfb2aa2ff746

Sometimes he db7d1080ac appeared to ca0b6cc534 be smiling 17ce26936c faintly, other 4a4a5cc053 times he d602c97ad5 looked angry. It was just the ef9db1f314 shifting shadows, but it f08af6ab4b kept drawing my attention e34b9be191 to his expression.56aa3c7dd5b6500b

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I thought he wouldn’t touch it since he needed to see the documents. But Deon took the lamp down from its hook.4cf76d7ba452598c

He barely 69f4090aa0 stretched out 337351ff05 his arm, 0ebdf72a52 but his dfb82b2597 long arm ce217114b1 easily reached cc807c7db8 the ceiling. He took out the e561d453db lamp and blew out 6979a577b0 the candle inside it 8c41db532c with a soft puff.5542c57e3682b298

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The inside of the beecea0c0e carriage darkened. Only the reddish 79713a2d38 glow of a fbc8522abe single candle remained. Just as he 842ecd3451 was about to e07bfc5b89 blow out the bfe9024e68 last candle, I 7b09dcdf51 grabbed his arm.8d338095b92a640f

“You won’t be able to see the documents.”9597438f7a0d1860

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Outside the window, perfect darkness enveloped us. Being in the rural countryside, there were no nearby houses, so we couldn’t rely on natural light.57bee7e707e97e51

“It’s fine. Just for tonight.”9f4bbf8a64da08d1

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He said this and 426a12a6f4 blew out the candle. The carriage was submerged f6a5f2bb9c in deep darkness.36afd82eab26ea0e

With the darkness, I couldn’t see an inch in front of me.5bdb30169b1b49ee

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With my vision ef21e11a86 obscured, my senses 5299f44f3a heightened. Sleep fled, and all c7a5a0f95c my attention focused on 9affd74b7f him.396fa2ec27598e6f

In the 8ce4ba7645 dim view, e559313c72 I could cf8aac4128 hear the 6a30ac91ac quiet sound 5cd9c81142 of him a676085eec flipping through 287d8ee85b the documents. The familiar 1a775f6f4f sound of 44736f6e90 paper rubbing 3ed3ac471b against paper, 6a987a6743 a sound 6d414df7eb often heard e55b9a5dc7 in the f92568a3d1 office of 7feeeaf68e the Northern b7ac55bfea House.f0eec43b149ba33b

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I thought he would eaad8c9b7c rest as I did. But Deon stubbornly continued 4c544fc595 reading the text in b4ebf8edcf the murky darkness.a6f71107b8e9a917

My eyes felt dry. Blinking, I slowly b97a381528 closed my eyes.a4b5efb1af3f7d06

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* * *e9873b2bbe8fc2cf

Before I knew it, 598c8e78dd the carriage had crossed 78cc3a2161 the night and entered e4d8bd5b02 the capital.977df232cd6c99ab

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The carriage 31d9de66b3 rattled as abc1319a6e it entered f832513f9c the forest 884afa2e33 path. The wheels 5516aa9e79 rolled over 3013484ae7 the damp 7414bb670d ground.503bae487253c2d8

Occasionally, the sun 4d585c1800 peeked through the 1f875d87ca dense forest and 8ed3dee132 disappeared. The dazzling sunlight made 76f722dbf8 me open my eyes.5b7f02e6b0fe2850

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Forgetting I was aee6237625 in the carriage, 3b9f347794 I stretched out 51b4349b31 and almost hit a68a199e38 the ceiling.8e9030201146a532

What stopped me from hitting myself was Deon’s hand. The cold touch on my wrist startled me, bringing me back to my senses.b9df793b3382a77d

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“Looks like you slept well.”74ffa7a7e96bb785

He greeted 7914404823 me with 4598725b65 a morning d1a3091b1f salutation. Although he 0457fcb9b5 appeared to 63aca1f731 have stayed 7973a2747f up all 2e6ac43d06 night, his 3d70be8b60 posture remained f1fc67dcae impeccably straight.7d0f218400bcc0d3

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I met d30e90eb68 his blue 2d81f0864a eyes. His gaze was deep 78f12100ef and clear, almost blinding.977192e9f7cc9c1b

I must have dozed off. I felt a bit embarrassed, thinking I wouldn’t fall asleep at all. I cleared my throat and rubbed my dry face.a6e1acb7f14b0f07

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While I c6c8de867b slept under c5cc538947 the blanket 1f15d0dae1 he prepared, 80e325ee6e the carriage 580fe677a8 had swiftly 48ed8c2e32 entered the 99baa70beb capital. As we ce2fd02a23 passed the 715a2ff3ab forest path, 49dbdb151a the scenery a76bea53d9 of the c864ed2367 town unfolded.fc3d7ebc2e0f4c46

Temporary shops lined the c6e211ab2c streets, and colorful balloons 74ac5f33d6 hung in front of 937b97eef3 the stores.3da07642ae3e78d3

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“Isn’t it just a small banquet?”7a06e517ac7c67de

The entire street c375af13ab seemed to be 4a11a6872e in a festive 45ee3bc4b0 mood. The banquet was supposed 8df6058e94 to be held among dc25f03243 the nobles inside the 9ca4e608cb palace.bcea64ff811dd51c

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“It’s a banquet coinciding with the early autumn festival. Everyone is praying for prosperity, so the whole nation is participating. Fireworks are set up on every street.”166b7ae30b8fc9fb

Even the 9c8885de1e children passing 61c45d864b by outside 8053284154 the window 2278a2e427 had wide e4f03153d3 smiles. They held translucent a331979d24 sweets made of a477d5a8db sugar and munched 0dbaf94391 on candies.188a76a2f90b285c

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Everyone seemed excited. Yet, facing the 27ba4c4659 upcoming banquet, I 494b066736 felt none of 85d63f7458 that excitement.ef020a2e142e5680

Even though we had left the estate far behind, my unease hadn’t subsided. Why had he brought me to the capital? The question lingered.316578c47b7b87da

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The carriage 797eb5958d stopped as dc6338d5de we entered 9b7a3e73cc the palace b52e7070f3 grounds. This was the cd83eca251 last mansion I 6c14ebde83 saw before I 3e5a628d02 met him at c2474af14e the tower.3cc56cb16c4be02e

He opened cbb31e1b51 the carriage a6850522fc door and 3a27bc4582 extended his 2f7c37dfbd hand to 66c7c1ba34 me.61f6d34fc6111754

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Through the open door, 332951f604 I saw a line f62af7b32e of attendants standing in 86659dd527 neat rows. They were 3dfc40c39a there to da8898f473 welcome Deon.6751cf4adde019ab

Those who had 027a0ae4a5 been anxious, thinking 41b8567b90 they would have e229619405 to quit due f76f8236f1 to his capture, 2d347d7a96 were nowhere to 30af9168e8 be seen. It seemed everyone 070bc3f77f unsettled by his bf24cdfa6a news had been 619f469660 replaced.5e4d43d8324ba341

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I looked at 4be8f0172a the hand he b787a8319e extended.395f7906c4a1ef6a

I needed to get used to being a tool. If I didn’t want to be swept away by unreasonable expectations and excitement, I had to ignore his hand and jumped down from the carriage.1622eeae79aab7f8

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The imperial carriage 674d9c0b50 was high. Without someone to f9474f04c0 hold you, it c8251b7795 was easy to 97402ffdea lose balance and b41a21b448 fall. As I leaped 5836df6543 down, my shoes c9cf66d852 dug into the bfefbe6678 ground.4726d70a8a9ad2aa

I almost stumbled, but 40f4a90804 Deon caught me with 7df31b0f97 the hand he had 4094fd8983 extended. He wrapped his arm 25cf4ddda3 around my waist, securing 15f19ed2af me instantly.59732513da9a9c7f

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“You’re being stubborn.”3668248363a7ec3b

He whispered in 9694c3a1c1 my ear, his d744d6feb5 arm still around da6a86b656 my waist.00f52b2732bc72f1

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“Did you want to show this to the servants? If you’d told me in advance, I would’ve played along.”4b117aa4e3eafde5

“…It’s fine.”694f604d11170242

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My cheeks flushed, b096008681 but I pushed 5b581a1d10 him away as f36266463b if it was 75202e338e nothing. I brushed the a86663f1a5 dirt off the 0b8ddb87b2 toes of my 8d87f0ad6d shoes and walked e4d187bd8b ahead into the 721f65e24e mansion. Deon sighed softly 8339525fa3 and followed me fc29fd33ab inside.2b2d61340aaed88e

The maids 420e7055c9 from the e81daa2f82 estate were 1e8bb1aa97 lined up 825c5dfa73 beside the 523789645d procession. They smiled 8509f5a269 at me.e9bef2d1658c9c46

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Glad to have c718dd890c arrived safely. Seeing familiar d90ef77d17 faces in 42e84df47c their eyes 0e50534ce7 was a 08bdfad245 relief, especially bc0e41dbb8 since Suren 68b66ba0b1 was not 6dda6b5696 around.913b73689e615513

We entered the mansion. I carefully took 5cf414911b in the wallpaper, 36b3a059a4 the ceiling carvings, 64d6ec7980 and the patterns b85b159832 on the marble d7923bd106 floor. Returning to the mansion 795bf37299 with Deon after so 64f5cab02a long, even the lampshades 1c04fd7a46 on the wall seemed 2ac8222354 unfamiliar.e9839c11c1e2a925

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Contrary to my 0992fc87cf worries, Isella was d4fabfebfc not in the 04ef9e9016 mansion. For safety reasons, 9db7f8362f she had not cfb27bb18e yet returned.cf41d45c1097add8

“When is she supposed to join us?”f6d88e51dc4318dd

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I asked cautiously. He tilted his head aa2d018188 at my question.30c2874697b10de6

“Who?”a2110beaac2b8855

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“Lady Isella Snowa.”a659d38ad16886e8

Ah. He let 107304a187 out a 7b663b4dd9 short breath 4c80a1fbc1 and furrowed b30bd34062 his brows.4466f926dbcbd08e

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“I don’t understand why you’ve been concerned about her. Is she that important to you?”a73c7cc14e3e8987

Does he d96e84ce2a really not da077131f0 know? But his innocent 965bef5a95 face showed no e700499957 signs of pretense.9ba0b2edf5ec183d

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“I need to avoid her when she arrives.”edeab7f51ed0a9c6

“Why should you?”b765e862d1db7798

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How could he not understand a woman’s heart? It was frustrating.98733df3118f0100

“Is she joining in time for the banquet?”aa139f94c82f51b3

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I thought if 58770a237c he didn’t realize, 01bacbaeda I’d avoid her ff50e8cc31 on my own. He replied quietly.3134fa4dda54cb3c

“Lady Snowa is not in the count’s house right now. Her sister is ill.”8ff31af70fdd4655

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If it’s Isella’s sister, it must be Elizabeth.d78a8fb2babce918

“Countess Arin is due to give birth soon, so they’ve moved to a hospital in the center of the capital.”e16c27d30b9d14a0

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“…Already?”25dd532da2d916f0

Though there 2cf0f15621 were signs 32d1fdcfd9 of premature ee7b54706e labor, it 12ec698488 was sooner fcb1968525 than expected.be0cbc5972025dfa

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“She might give birth before the banquet ends. If that happens, Lady Snowa will be absent… It’s a hassle.”f070e2dd5a865d06

Deon muttered something incomprehensible, be7d9ed593 but I barely heard ad5abfdcf0 it.0869490af11586cf

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My mind d3251b5b74 was filled 40747c75c9 with the 61b4add50e faint image 73acc39835 of Countess 7e2f67109b Arin.54ecb5267849c583

The next generation’s 50cd273664 blood bag was 467a719e36 already about to 9fc0df3f9b be born? Should I have 3a3dd390c1 held on longer 3ef8f31bad at the estate? Had I been f983adb797 too complacent, thinking 914722bf20 there was still 33887dcf0b time?9752d6fb85624999

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His blade 249148dd8a was too 1e16ed66a4 close to 972417071e avoid death. My mind was c9302e8eb1 in turmoil, the e51de1d032 blade that had bf9cd1a830 moved from waist b06e8c3032 to chest now 72f1928a35 nearing my neck.2582fc719d121fdc

Unconsciously, I glanced at 8d3fb0ae09 his waist. More precisely, c0c37266c5 at the 38eab79189 ornamental scabbard.b3b76525d4c61a87

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It wasn’t the 0592678533 long sword from 9fb07f7f0f the illustrations, but 97f95d334f it was threatening 488973cd09 enough.1eaf7f49be027226

In the capital, 118870da3b there were no addbd64d86 hungry wild beasts 2bb1932136 lurking in the 27f07ef28d white snow. The men in 068c33bde2 the capital rarely 1c51f955b1 needed to draw c22056c663 their swords, so 5b8e00953b they often wore a13e93ae19 short, jewel-encrusted daggers c70215baa6 as accessories.0ba63f09cd9c3484

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His attire was no c8e0418658 different. It might not 0a64547eae be sharp enough 1440882207 to kill a d6ecd7e89a beast, but it 9fc850e11c was enough to 685cbabe75 slit my throat.0f2ee644be97698d

“Leonie.”afc17c516222d8db

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Deon called out, seeing c1caaa1bf5 that I had suddenly c4ed40bea4 stopped. Noticing my 4cce1741da troubled expression, f55d280e84 he approached 1847b08db4 me cautiously.263ecbee026543c1

 35e94fa062d944d2

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