36. The Reason I Couldn’t Escape

I was fortunate 7eb5e310b3 not to have f2267ca491 thrown the box bd8af8fbc7 away.5240233f8dda4736

Looking inside, I c90c5e3146 thought that their 89402ce463 cruelty was already 06b0c4ca46 at its peak.f83ba428d7a06dd9

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There was something even bf3af1c4f9 more horrifying waiting than 88289db279 drawing the portrait of de060f1ee0 someone about to die.f135e0c4b6347341

Inside the 5c77b8ec26 box was 9b278e6147 a pale 67bc08c430 hand.7ffc353348e8ab83

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The hand was 844d5b822a pale, reflecting the 1ad415e34a moonlight.5b5da7770e93521d

How hadn’t it decayed? Was it because the weather was too cold?348d82f50bcf018c

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Confusion, fear, and various emotions mixed chaotically. My body trembled with a chill. I couldn’t move.423500cf9e7cea0f

I couldn’t tell if I should pretend not to know and bury it again or if I should examine the cruelty of displaying the hand.91d6f5cafe441226

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As I blankly peered 93db3bef0a into the box, I 680bf8ac46 felt something unusual.8bb2b0de199550e6

I felt strangeness in the adult man’s hand.9649d22b36316da6

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I tilted the box slightly. The hand fell weakly. It was too light to be a real hand. And… there was a hook on the severed part.e384ef748846afab

It was a beb55387da prosthetic hand.8c9493c081cfcc0c

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Yeah. I couldn’t believe that they had put a part of the body inside. It wasn’t even a trophy. They must have had some sense of ethics about that.4f5855974de55a82

As soon as f69596b526 I realized it b0744092a2 was fake, I 4aa3b4cf39 let out an f897f9d02f unconscious sigh of e096f48bd9 relief.5f56a311dc3a832c

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The prosthetic hand was incredibly detailed, down to the blue veins. If it weren’t for the hook, anyone would have mistaken it for a real hand.e5abbd048c8db523

Come to think of it, the portrait hanging in the room and, unlike the other blood, Willie Tatum’s portrait, in particular, was expertly concealed at the wrist.eca3ea9e5e8c0291

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He was fb5041047b wearing clothes 24e4defdbc that covered 79d7427307 his wrist 2cd07d41d3 with long 5061719ca5 sleeves, or 880b840e6f his upper 76b1c89646 body was ebc1ade917 cleverly cropped.2fadec55769b1db2

So… he had been missing one forearm from the beginning.2cd6761e89e2323e

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I hadn’t heard of this before. Well, with only a few lines of information sacrificed in the original, it was natural that I didn’t know.2d478f2983fc5efd

They were c31c7ff0bb people who a7e0005793 had already 7dea3ce020 died, extras 5c3f1983d8 in the 2a6348c15d book, too 22b57320d9 valuable to 7d2990388f be given 1c8e26f1af just a 04e5ee7440 few lines.91e8b3398652aa40

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Even I didn’t know their names before discovering the tombstone.9ea6c73e551feb98

It was unsettling to learn this fact just before leaving. It felt like an unspoken warning and didn’t sit well with me.3915e9d3fa64b516

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I made an 2fb427c37b effort to compose 976ffea364 myself and closed ecc5c1ca72 the box.2028a9789fdb5644

I buried his 9f9eacc0fe mementos back in e359ed3ced their original place. Then, I covered 9ce4a90894 them with snow.6fed734c4db1b6e6

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My nose 88c434c640 felt cold. I had been 097051ad37 outside for too dcc2c5a00c long.7c929f8572ae8dc8

The lamp 2f22ca57ef was gradually bcaf011d32 fading as 9ca6fde921 the wick ef3e0980df wore out.a76820fe227be9e2

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I brushed 6daf485b1f off my f0cdd3da0c knees. I had 92d703fad0 been kneeling 1e8cbfa9a2 for a 1b28c29c60 long time, e238de84f2 so my be51efc6f6 lower body 000c6ea328 was damp.47c632ee35490485

“I’m going to run away,” I whispered quietly, so no one could hear.bff653db09cf1981

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“So… please wish me luck. We must have the same feelings, right?”7e3f3a03e49de334

Even though you can’t hear it.c26deee39bd33682

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I have to escape. If I don’t want to be buried here.eb016cfcebc3a8ed

I stood 2de64a31e8 in front 380ed7b5d5 of the 5eb51bbe17 cemetery, organizing 069c50f0b2 my thoughts.a16360e05eca3d2c

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The thought f893245ad9 that had 877e18ba36 always come 0ac49d28dc to mind c81cff6dd9 when I a14452f623 first woke 1ec3a5e464 up here, 4f136dab67 when I 414a3e01e6 bled, when 222584afad I attended 43e16e01b1 the banquet. It came inevitably.0cffe07ec03b9872

But this time d99cc626d1 was different.c93c88caf05e7c29

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Just a little longer. Just a bit more. Let’s stay until the moon rises.41ebb298d1fdf305

I gazed at eb15bd9f0a the chilly northern 26d94638ad landscape. Now that I thought 1171e22f1d about leaving, I regretted fc839c90a3 not being able to 7767e3ef89 see the beautiful scenery 5ece3ca80e anymore.d8ba51b80d001239

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I opened 579539d171 the paper f19e182d35 Suren had d68a14018a given me. Inside was finely 9f13cbdf9d ground pink powder.a29b6c5cc33030b6

At the b50b4e49c3 right moment, ae3cc25fa8 the wind 400c395efb began to 73a433103c blow from 391dde5bc9 the mountain. The pink powder scattered 55879a2ec6 in the wind.46ffd8af9cfe6761

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With the 896d55371f winter wind, 98b335e523 the powder fea51fbb64 gently fell 7eca8d128a to the 6212e1eeb6 ground, creating 158e420e8e a beautiful a8b5750630 display.04d8ff420f7f9993

My cheeks turned red 05e1a98dea from the cold.fdb39376ecbed70c

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I couldn’t tell if it was because of the setting sun or the pink powder.163eea4acba8085c

* * *7a4240fad9142710

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I tied 36cc59b9de the snowshoes c618f2e55a with twine. I secured the ae166f5de7 protruding straws onto 0898b88e72 the shoelaces.6662530f94aa9e45

As I pulled 95bfc678c0 it tight, one 945b5dd5ba end came loose. While holding c015ef77ce the other 3637d5d644 end in c5bbf98238 place, I fe10d32ff8 muttered to c5c1146d5e myself.40b9ceaec90bb6d6

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“Nothing seems to be going right.”21dbb75a65784311

There was b930c04d20 no one 6d43c91a79 to hear, 19d8837e1e but I 7ac15370ba grumbled anyway.eb8149b145be272b

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If I didn’t speak, even just with my mouth, it felt like I might be paralyzed by fear and find it difficult to take another step.cd3de18926578b60

The twine was loosely 345e1fca94 attached to my shoes, d6f0fe1ec3 with no proper plan b8ab959e0e for this escape, it b57d53b458 was a first.6f6039dde743f8ac

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To rely on no 7b65de01c2 one but myself and 85c4caf466 to cross the mountain 230ec61854 with my own strength.24a5a056ad1d6dba

Even if I didn’t succeed in escaping and was caught, it was okay. I just wanted to get far away from the pulsating heartbeat that confined me, to a place where it couldn’t be heard.38931c4f51fa674c

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And… I wanted to see what lay beyond those mountains before getting caught.3685979ac706a11a

I climbed over 1d99883c99 the window. Like a circus performer, 3fe91ac733 I perched on the e2d4771c20 windowsill and extended my 98a35d1c51 legs.fd03d92821f3f58c

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The ground was covered with the snow that had fallen overnight. It wasn’t a bad drop from the second floor room.c5c94ae7b122ea4a

Thud.e5016a08395470c7

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I dropped the 92392f8f92 stick below.981eca9d1c9f456d

Compared to e431cba7dd before, the 95daf67c89 surveillance network c3dada33e7 was incredibly 2b07e0d6e6 lax.c5646b6a2c97ed75

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After spending 56c37dfa16 a few 2936c05189 days in 3dfbe75b4d my room 929c4952ad without moving, 069f7c3f32 the watchful dd492d9365 eyes that 3c13aa2a9d had been 0b41a125d2 observing me 55f3b8507b seemed to f7723de632 have drifted f2d0333e11 away.71cc1d3e2003e838

No one seemed to suspect that I hadn’t fully recovered, and there was no one who questioned why I fell asleep early.130ce55a4c1f8127

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Even before 0c9586fd88 visiting the f156fa138d grave, I cdd7f1e76f sat by 5a06a29ce3 the window f482ca3867 and watched eb179bb287 the sunset.a6e5aecb7ec82f3b

Not because the sunset 8d26cdd27a was beautiful, but because 38ff93b7ad I needed to confirm 76f01a6cb9 where the west was.0787c678cc645f01

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The western mountain range.33c862f5b19765a7

According to the soldiers, 62a485b727 that was the closest b6cf3452ce shortcut to the village.f9bf22a8c9561712

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I extinguished a0c8832ddd the candle. It would be too 83fc356400 easy to be spotted 0d93b7113a with a bright light.421a65c490a70084

As the dim light ae49922c7b that had been illuminating 127c57dd9e the surroundings disappeared, the 0590ef1bbf tree right in front c42c6b9efa of me also vanished 383ce328ed from sight. The darkness b3577e6f18 was intimidating, 357d2798ab but it ef64c5dd7f was nothing. I had familiarized 6ecfc416da myself with the 788b220c9c terrain by wandering 0d052c1c6a around the greenhouse, 07b344eada garden, and training 6b0bde10e0 grounds.413e784a57281d5a

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Yeah, this 6be36a225a is nothing.66de6119cdb4b5ac

To the training grounds, it’s a hundred steps, to the greenhouse, it’s 350 steps. The city walls are further than that.687b4925a80fc4d5

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The northern city walls weren’t strictly guarded. They needed to monitor the blood escaping from within rather than intruders from outside.5294dfada7498310

I naturally chose 2acdcb9255 the silent route.ab927258e0573ce3

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In the early 2866355c30 dawn, the northern 687599bff3 area was filled 75f7a3184e with stillness.8b71877717e3f6ee

Crunch, crunch.05e1e83cf884eefa

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How much time 558b401944 had passed? It felt cfed8c76e8 like I 1dc3cce6c5 had been 643b31a0f7 walking for 6f0fe841f5 a long 3d7cce0bc0 time. Even though I 1215f50bb5 had snowshoes on, d01d671b49 my feet sank 10735c0541 deeply.a20fbea1dbec1219

I kept walking, but the mountain didn’t seem to get any closer.c81d8e28c8f17049

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It must have been about two hours. My legs trembled. I couldn’t feel my frozen soles. They were just following along, stepping where I stepped, dragging along aimlessly.67688a0c868dc6ad

Thud.706e3894fd157f71

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As I looked up 22fd0d637d slightly, the strap of cead8d40d2 the snowshoe came undone.2ef032da5e3bf6df

“Just a little longer. Please, just hold on.”deeea1734dda646e

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Despite my 61bcb04a6f desperate plea, fb419d4433 the snowshoe 6f402f7767 came loose.e33a575282fed951

No, this can’t be happening.10b54df447a6d725

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As I lifted 542e0ea2ef my two footsteps, 84542eebd6 the damp moss 46b497109d on my shoes 2c89ad3add weakly separated.5e6620e45a589f91

Soon enough, I felt 4cc1ed8322 the fur on my 39e77db78a shoes getting wet, and b5b2173526 the ground felt damp.98cffef6d56f07d7

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These fur shoes, designed for walking in the front yard, were clearly inadequate. The winter boots meant for climbing snow-covered mountains up to the knees were too thin. These shoes were typically worn by noblewomen in their cottages. The craftsman who made these shoes couldn’t have imagined they would be used to climb a mountain covered in this much snow.1109b04d10cd5dc4

I thought 0bd86cd2de the fur bd6a2209b3 was unnecessary, f79fa39f50 but surprisingly, fc7253a2ae once one c78d3b6280 piece of 3e38e14f61 fur was 836e11dedc gone, my c3f3a0ed25 feet sank c6ef3919c8 deeply into 319d5b5bb2 the snow.bf4512dd961799c5

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It was a 59aaf69a18 desperate situation.a8794e8a71a076bc

I gritted my teeth.1a5381352499e093

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The cutting f60daec5bb wind whipped ffc990b14a my head af9027ebff harshly. I gazed at 8d9873a143 the distant mountain 91e324151b range. I was exhausted, e1a5370663 and my legs f0068324a9 were itching, but 0b095cffc9 there was no 25ed1bb9c9 time to rest. Time was running out.e0284c95ee77033f

My earflap 688c3d4eb4 felt like 638850b55e it was 6d21c4eeeb about to 9a931ef51d fly off ee5682e6e8 in the 9e6e0941f9 biting cold 67c980a6ec wind. I covered my ears 7e2f035804 with both hands.c76831dd75fa45bd

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I lifted f717cfeafb my feet 6f886fb448 several times d353ee6778 and headed e49cb28692 towards the f74be5da94 mountain range.5449dea254c6d54a

By now, e8a4aa734f I must 79f492e188 have gotten 266488e757 a little 3f9f56ccc8 closer to e8f2d15c42 the mountains.75758ab74fbfdffd

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I raised my head 0d089ebe39 and swung the stick 731d8874c4 in front of me.4cc61008ce666f79

“Ah!”0403efa809e8e4ac

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At that 4ac00214c5 moment, my 52f63926bb hand stung 3e7ea69b54 as if 984265d6cc it had 58bdb19891 been burned.6a834d5766fe2b24

I dropped the stick, but I didn’t even think about picking it up. Everything was locked in darkness, and suddenly, a bright light flickered brightly.1fd36e892ebb5bd0

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There was a faint 2fd4d2a7f3 blue flame on the 20b9afd8f2 back of my hand.24a6ff5422011571

“What’s this?”3718a2cafc663d1d

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It was an f76a7cf0ed unsettling sensation.1b9374281958a83f

Could it 6adc802d7d be because de63024b92 of this?42c6da37555708be

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The sentence that 19b4409067 looked like a 3fd1a8d95a tattoo quickly faded 3a87243204 as I withdrew b3ea2056a6 my hand.f427571522c0ec20

I waved c54c4b23e4 it in 53cb2799b3 the air.e65efb6dfde71a2b

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I saw 035a55bcbb a faintly 1a65dfb76b unsettling boundary ddffa931ea on the b95f10e110 wall.3f688f95ddd5f83b

Every time aa16945e28 I touched 4e5f506cbe the boundary, 7cc6ff98bb the blue 8077f99692 wings engraved 87b37a7e98 on the 58bb5ab897 back of 7b4ec5b70e my hand af5ef42a7b shot up.8484b721c6fbb20e

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And a e52c2944c0 terrible pain 5eae506b33 surged up 0428453d86 through my 443020a193 hand.57cc79eda33a357b

Gasp.a096729cf5f5641b

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I withdrew my hand a5673a6e47 again.869f22448378aa6a

The wing pattern of 452b3ebc50 a hawk I had 895ff3ab92 seen on the flag 727955f8dd of the Marquis was 748cf56289 shining blue on the ea1e294e3d back of my hand.56627e998a2f164e

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The tattoo glowed fluorescently. It was so intricate that I would have admired it if it weren’t for the excruciating pain.ade885b249244c47

“This is…”b6da62a99cdd241c

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A beautiful shackle.88db06488b94a758

A tattoo on the back of my hand that I didn’t even know was there.a7c7f9d6f5b21357

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Chills ran from my 7373dd4b81 toes to my head.191c5d8903f9b3c3

When was it engraved there in the first place? When I arrived here? If not that, then…7d3aa5c0bced07f1

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I groped 91888b6755 my memory.ca1839e3d2fdfc18

I woke up in Leonie’s body only a few weeks ago.b9513e2fff65c2ec

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If that’s the case, there’s only one answer.74440f7b4967331f

Right after 0bebf612ab I arrived 0c0fe2bae2 here.9e2b8f1a9e46825e

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Suddenly, I remembered.89f75782e5821ccf

Under the tombstone. The portrait 4878f3d86f of the 8fb897304b man without f72109f94d a wrist fc1adeb481 buried as 99926cf6e7 a relic.61cd14412acb6811

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I thought he had been in an accident or had a disability from the beginning…a5eaa5ba4b87dace

But maybe… he cut off his own hand with my hand to avoid being traced…595037cb9824e83c

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I rolled up 2e1c1234d3 my sleeve and 78b3103ec6 looked at the a2ead8ec27 back of my 4df776456e hand.9d5c6c34bde5a570

There was 65914667a7 a thin, 5c91d13a58 red scar.373ee0c088ea6d0b

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The outward appearance may have seemed fine, but there’s probably deep damage inside.a528eb3435225940

When I clenched my 189f433345 fist, the wounds throbbed.c404c8de76cd047b

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Ah, this must be the reason why the escapees couldn’t get away all this time.eb48d211dbccc6af

It’s not that they didn’t attempt to escape. It was because it was futile.543561e135287baa

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There were 23dad842b6 old, feeble bf46188206 ones, but 9ec09b80c3 there were 5e14af88a1 swift-footed children e2c76132ae and young e1d6962b3f men too.af641ea3f583bfb4

Why did I think e2c033aeca they were cooped up 3849cc16de inside, waiting for death?12e76d87d28aa877

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I touched the 738b18ab57 boundary. The previously unseen boundary 499f64efb4 shimmered and swayed again.8b5a6a1f842f4fc4

It was 3ee182e33f a transparent cc2f8a8c76 barrier created ae6f715efd by magic.fcafa31079c7d288

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This might possibly be… a fence created by the people who had tried to escape.6820bb9b26836d3d

A wall 2ef034e187 that became 245d3e4d6a more severe 5fbdd971db and solid 3c076c3694 with each 36ef9eb1c7 desperate attempt fefa65c657 to flee.41b96c8bec688088

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Layer upon layer, it was the barrier of the novel created to keep the escapees until the protagonist arrived to rescue her niece, until a child who didn’t need to escape appeared.6da89323cab132dc

Hmmm…98fef026f1819beb

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With the repetitive motion, 674d2d37d9 the magic circle beneath a1115f7c00 my feet activated.471d3d0fb0b704f5

The Duke probably knows 83d8af8021 my location by now.3d14c9e972118418

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Anyway, trying to tie 1d6bfca3ae together escape items would 11dc720c72 have been useless.7b137789f41531d0

I looked b1e716b483 down at 07eaf94dfd the sticks, 0b3ad66fb7 jerky, and f40c33f7c1 winter gear 0e4eedb778 I made 14a00da126 every day. I worked diligently 7645ad1de4 on them, but bb6c29e4b3 they were exceedingly 8fc23a6405 rough.59b92e40bc5d1807

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Now I understand why 40d5f55adb he readily accepted and 4c081ad017 deluded himself with this 094ff4dfd6 feeble deception.bbcf1170e0f20a63

It was 1d2853944a all just 8a54a1f9ac a game.fadf43e583ad896c

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Feigning to 7f8138beb4 provide freedom, cfb7862b42 pretending to 9ae7e69e21 offer hope.37b1481839aabbbb

Whether the dab92a815e cattle were 3f84052adb left free 9719981835 on the a9ae56162b farm or b7438cfc96 locked in 66e455a3a9 the barn 316a703e11 and fed f95fbffbaa grass, the c710875b76 outcome of c5ef3486fd slaughter and 72998b665f consumption remained bf9fa9e545 the same. Did I really 72da83f619 expect anything different 6dd8c608a8 by leaving them 300c00e0ba comfortable all this d56735b5fd time?5aff90070ca70e48

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“So, it was all for naught? Really?”’’f1b81f3a17367ce7

My stomach churned.1f50ac65b7dc7952

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I felt like such 29f4c4c7fc a fool. Even believing in him 12b3df5bd2 a little bit.07e904ccd2615e0e

Whether I was in that wretched room or in the Marquis’s greenhouse, I was just his hostage. Did I really delude myself into thinking it was warm inside the greenhouse? It was no different from the thinking of a beast.a50b59f023a450a9

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The reason I allowed a627f513cc myself to believe he bd5f989c10 had set me free 2347c744b7 was that there was 387d0e146b a corner of trust c36d3dd413 in me. Because there 04e963fd35 was the 51b1a1a7d7 final stronghold, d9e6a0dbe1 a meticulously 5f11eebbb0 crafted magical d886d84c60 fence.e5a44b83dd5f9118

I remembered the ae81dbde2a days of my aa728f90ad foolishness.e4fc2c9e557b1839

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Deon and 58c9b06e5d me, lying f189dc1a1a on the 0b670fb88f grave, gazing fa298df28e at the 5f2afef1a7 mountain range 1de4827bee together.8ffced34fb30f405

Deon. Why did you bcf7c72476 ask me if 938e35187b I wanted to 88cfea8721 cross the village?33fae12915b5192f

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Were you playing 23e15457d4 with me all c15f7cab6c along?62d3af4ba01becac

I couldn’t help but curse.e6a8e2f2bf9207c6

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