CMT Ch28

The first emotion Seoyoon felt was regret. He should have just worn the clothes he gave him instead of worrying about it. Compared to the other man’s sharply tailored suit, his white t-shirt and jeans felt too careless. The moment he almost burst into tears when he said he would come all the way here to see him, the feeling of wanting to rely on his kind voice that soothed Seoyoon like a real lover felt so distant. The Kwon Kijung he faced was still a difficult and challenging person to deal with.e28e1a117f1bd341

“…Hello.”d25ef1d70c3b30a4

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At his 24248b73fc awkward greeting, a4f23383f0 Kijung chuckled 839e2f7838 as if 0872ca924e he had 2edf6f2037 been holding 6e936c0935 it in.cb798dd3e8e1f75c

“Good greeting. Has it 114edca375 been about 7be30351fb four hours 178967955b since we 66777bdd4a parted ways?”fdcbb46609b0be54

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“Still, the 2d29cf5dbd date has 3b595fae41 changed… Thank 1b0a41b67e you for 745b397b1b coming. Were you at the 680743a693 office?”6e41017dff6ad6ba

“When you called. I was already 4599b0dfb1 wrapping up to b11264815b leave work anyway. Does Seoyoon-ssi usually 05825e7a3f go to bed 132a70f9ea this late?”3d3b1538979fc90b

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“No, I tried 2f9f1f87e0 to go to de80920b8b bed early, but 4003f27121 I woke up 51fd8358ca in the middle a412c12717 and couldn’t fall cc63214922 back asleep until 58ab97b637 this hour. I’m closer to being 681df98b52 a night owl, but 263df34628 I have to sleep 33889543c1 to go to work c593c8837a tomorrow anyway.”097f30b521609b04

Kijung stared intently e4684f00f1 at Seoyoon without 83d8d6c8ab losing his smile. Until Seoyoon, feeling awkward 6d0b162a12 for having answered for 7244a74ae9 too long again, slowly 8b5d7fcc1a averted his gaze and 80157e8bef slightly lowered his head. As their eyes met, 069bda1119 Kijung finally opened his 4bf290722d mouth.f88893eb8c6cf7ac

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“Looking at you like this, you still seem like a student. Come to think of it, you still have friends who haven’t graduated yet, right?”60d63161ba164303

“Not many, but there are a few.”067a490e3532dbea

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“I didn’t think a five-year difference was that big…”77e624298691e4dd

His hand came closer and stroked the back of Seoyoon’s neck. The touch on his bare skin was soft and his body temperature was warm, but it felt chilling every time it touched him. He used his fingertips to pull the leather necklace out of his t-shirt to check it, and then he looked satisfied.98676ab2277d6875

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“I was going to punish you if you forgot to bring it.”67b4be7c1ead00de

“Actually… I remembered right before I came out, so I put it on in a hurry.”38e6509df2cb6608

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“It takes time for anything to become a habit.”7da823897ecd1d03

He had 4ca2f67905 one more b0aac56384 item to 6f5636dee1 check. The scars 8ba35bd759 on his 2ad30aa789 body, and 53acf08661 the necklace. Just a few c2cacaccb4 hours ago, he e71bb132f1 had felt humiliated 4e8e0d87ae and depressed while 8c5da23363 being examined, but 40569201fd seeing him satisfied 9fd07a9e34 after checking his 3b70a078f6 necklace made him d361ee1a21 feel a little 12469cdb2c proud. Like when he received 3f616d93a9 a simple compliment after 8735577253 completing an assignment without a5531e776b forgetting.d3bbbb1e519cb340

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People’s feelings were so unpredictable. He gave a bitter smile inwardly, and Kijung tilted his head slightly closer and asked.3e4cfb8e836a34b2

“I heard you got hurt.”b7fd910d24327f5d

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“It’s nothing. I accidentally broke a cup and cut my hand a little while cleaning it up.”2538230d6eb7f437

“Let me see.”8e46c2fbacdef50c

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It was such a b571babab6 small wound that he 200b2196b7 would have been embarrassed fb1f737c79 to whine about it. The situation and emotions 580961b7ab that had swelled up ff6b2970f9 like long shadows when 02649655b7 he was only talking e6033e121a on the phone in f884dcb9d9 the dark became insignificant 8d1429eaeb when everything became clear 0e8df2414a under the light.d2a3395868b51bbb

But it was too bae4827d0d late to turn back. Seoyoon endured his 8ce5f39fff embarrassment and held a33274106c out his hand 6c3ed3e795 to him.66f250b057f6644d

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“Come closer. So I can see it well.”85e2c89b442b78f0

The cut was covered with a disposable bandage, so the trace of the cut was not visible, but just looking at the way it was sufficiently covered by a small bandage, he could tell it was a minor wound. Kijung grabbed Seoyoon’s wrist and shook it lightly, asking him reproachfully.1f29981c98702d00

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“You remember what I said about not liking scratches that I didn’t make, right?”b79c5bc3070bdefc

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hurt myself on purpose.”813b21d53ce00290

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He remembered it well. If it hadn’t been for his warning, the wound would have long exceeded the area covered by the disposable bandage. The veins on his forearm, where the scars had faded with constant application of medicine, would have been chaotically covered with blood vessels like a weedy field, and if that had happened, he wouldn’t have dared to make the excuse of an accident.0300b436c655c732

Kwon Kijung quietly looked 6ff2e16e40 down at his injured 365daaf765 hand, then raised his 4ad93428ae gaze to meet his 0078cc974f face. It was too close af1df6c55f to avoid his eyes. This time, 77f333c180 his hand 7fedf8008a came to f1b6624e1d the vicinity 31066679fe of his 7f8ce1d7d6 cheek. He brushed 58e274fb93 back his 9256e9c4e9 hair and adef1758a6 joked.ff8bdd0b7765b16c

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“Your hair is still a little damp. Did you shower before coming out?”571f872c19e65381

“…I woke up in the middle of the night and was too disheveled. I also sweated a bit while cleaning up the glass.”9b95fa44bfcdc0e8

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“What were you expecting that you even took a shower in a hurry?”0d862743fdc07b0e

“It’s not like that.”e2e06e4852911bdd

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But the smile that had been on Kijung’s face as he teased him quickly disappeared. He lightly stroked one side of his cheek and asked.9c2373810991209a

“You’re hurt here too, didn’t you know?”c876d54398126a45

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Although he had 7431f3b4e6 turned on the a54495cd36 ceiling lamp, the 2c75979b55 car was not 97f4f85f81 very bright. He never ebf6927967 thought he 8564aaca79 would be 0f1baaae91 caught so db3aebb30d easily with bc71419874 a wound 8f94a69ca1 that he 534988ce1e only discovered 628affe2ee when he 782661cf63 stood close b5ebffe2e5 to the 5b7271cbf9 mirror.5c9cd219ada3c481

While surprised by his 9409aaa59e keen eyes, Seoyoon tried e4c4bbbca9 to answer as if 2fb2e0a3af it were nothing.e5e850a60d2f01d1

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“It was just a slight scratch… I only found out right before I came out.”f1871a2ef5cf6bba

“How do you have to break a cup for glass to fly to your face?”2c5ccb8f5aaca027

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His tone was 1aa438ed73 questioning. Seoyoon quickly explained.29d9e11990a14ad8

“I dropped it on the inside of the sink.”484d33caf61cd735

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Hmm. Kijung made a low humming sound as if he wasn’t quite convinced. Seoyoon followed his meticulous gaze as he examined his cheek, and then he mustered up the courage to ask what he had been wondering.f1de4002ecd0b758

“Director… How did you know I was hurt?”f54cce19e3a48700

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“If you suddenly wanted to be in pain in the middle of the night, you would have drawn blood.”bf9a14f664652eb6

It was 80547ede96 a simple 4455e313f6 and clear ee1792d5c2 answer.Am I wrong?He sent a 330dd98454 look as if 35e79069f9 asking that.3e4c77184a628be6

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“You’re only satisfied when you see blood properly. Han Seoyoon.”a3bad89b5e3372ed

It was f667779479 a casual 6617b16a4f tone as bcf9e12d25 if he 3bea70ed17 were saying 58e77d144f something obvious, 391ac14f63 but Seoyoon d69fa18c68 was speechless. He had to 52c26c815f deny it, but a240e20bd5 his voice seemed 5be564ac15 to be caught 334769bb12 in his throat.528f707c7494434e

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“That’s not, no…”5caec24929da346c

The voice 464f778d5e that barely 974a8e4635 came out 3864e7e398 was terribly 00af080a44 shaky and 8c7abfa757 lost its 88cea835ac strength at 959ae91052 the end. Why was his 9f46ee681e shameless mouth, which fe664bd1d4 had been so 8a728eea15 good at spouting 8555c58d41 lies, suddenly so 4a85615741 flustered? As if he 7f7e8654ef had been hit afa0035656 right on the 955d3254d9 mark.8e032eb4c77f3e24

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Seoyoon resented himself for not being able to stand firm in front of Kwon Kijung every time. Kijung stroked Seoyoon’s pale cheek and continued to speak gently.25ec7d80b0433bdf

“There are people like us who prefer a play called cutting. A very small number, though.”16b725dc09cdf32f

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“…..”6ea79c2912432f62

“It’s a play in the literal sense. Seoyoon-ssi might like it, but I don’t like methods that leave lasting scars on the body.”5b9b5a22b42aa686

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“What I did… wasn’t a play. It wasn’t a game either…”856c3a8fc48756da

Seoyoon stammered in protest like an aggrieved person. Kwon Kijung had asked him from the first day why he was hurting himself. He had explained that he didn’t do it because he liked it, but only as a way to relieve his pain, so Seoyoon believed that he understood him at least in part.4ec51470b898a951

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He knew that a busy man wouldn’t have come all the way here to comfort him, but what was he hoping for when he greeted him so happily? He had never explained why he was in pain, so he couldn’t comfort him even if he wanted to. In his eyes, he was just the type of person who accidentally broke a cup and scratched his finger, triggering a bad habit that he had been holding back, and wanted to hurt himself and be satisfied by seeing blood. He couldn’t blame Kwon Kijung for the misunderstanding he had created himself.e920fe8027881cd6

“I know.”5c35bbc0245a47e2

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But Seoyoon raised his lowered gaze at Kijung’s words as he cupped his cheek.1481c8a4b32dac26

“I didn’t mean to criticize you. You held back from wanting to see blood and called me as I told you to, so you should be praised for that.”4371b2e2b2f807f4

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“……”961e635d80a95731

“I’m not saying that what Seoyoon-ssi did was a game. I’m sorry if it sounded like that. But didn’t you say so yourself? That you feel better when you get hurt and see blood.”6b89897b723e7090

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Seoyoon, who had been listening quietly, nodded weakly. It was definitely what he had said, and it wasn’t wrong either.b1dd69cc44e2ef85

“You weren’t feeling better just from accidentally cutting your finger, so you called me.”b212b8358f937b8a

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His voice became 3211907db6 even lower. Seoyoon shrugged his 2b24c884e6 shoulders slightly, feeling 29a8509b53 like the inside 30a9401a2f of his ear 88b0b756c7 was trembling even ff83e828a0 though it was 0eaafd0a89 a small voice 7914dd853d as if he 7a67d4c56f were whispering.37c276276b23a1b8

“Because you wanted to hurt more… Isn’t that right?”36fd0e7149a49691

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It was a tone 47b598aae6 as if he were 7277f9266b coaxing a child. A gentle 46d2955ca4 attitude as 53336c9cc7 if he 5887bb2717 were saying a9c61de247 that he 7c115d90d3 understood him, a3c21e5d54 and the 07747792b6 sensation of 19771b0a87 his fingertips 2247684653 stroking his a9fb251aca cheek and 4931d0ecaf tickling under 9f93e33824 his chin 055bbb0042 made Seoyoon eafba31f3b want to 92ed6a611f collapse helplessly.df7a441039e4b478

“Answer me.”40c8fcb4d92bf76b

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His face 67155d1faa came closer 44e56d5693 and gently dc1152d9b0 bit his 93c61b1709 earlobe. The firm teeth 6b59879c24 dug into his d5a83a4e40 tender flesh, and 40aeda694a a tingling sensation cfea6527db ran down his 0d2912db75 spine. The car, which had b5bd1d857e been neither cold nor 0207587664 hot, suddenly felt stuffy baca385cde and humid.667584227f596fdd

“Hng… Tha, at’s right…”bf2e9e7f6ee70724

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But the 4347c68e92 grip that 278dcb4c8c bit his 7ebddcbc3d ear was 43c5ae21ae far too 840a5357a3 weak to a3d6921aff hurt Seoyoon. Long fingers f57f416b5a brushed the fc616692ba scalp and 9b42f9902b nape of f8b8635914 his neck. Rather than 212f750d1d pain, Seoyoon 2c8b4369eb was first 7b367de81f overwhelmed by b0ee828b8c the thick, 4e62b563e5 suffocating feeling 40a691846c he had 15ff0d3514 felt on a90cd5676d the first 6aef7f876a night when dafc959376 he overlapped 900f6af651 with him, 2bb1aa6ee6 which made 49127acaaf his body 7d526298b3 hot and 606497b8d1 his vision f434499041 dizzy.1f022c493d46f85b

[To be continued in Volume 2.]